Theo Von - Me and Darryl Strawberry REACTION

you what all right um so we got another one from Theo von this is Theo von and Darryl Strawberry the Theo von Darryl Strawberry storm this is not happening Comedy Central heavily requested you have to be requested can't wait to get to it I mean who doesn't know what strawberry I imagine his story has something to do with cocaine yeah I just get or some type of an all same drug y'all know deal was on shrooms after the Joey Diaz show one time so he's familiar with the drugs um so yeah Darryl Strawberry Theo von let's go [Music] right I'm a sober guy okay appreciated I didn't want to be but this is what happened I was in New York City right New York City New York they call it the same thing right back in front of each other just to really piss you off or not get there it's like we heard you in the beginning you know and I hadn't planned on doing any cocaine okay I planned on doing this much cocaine that's a zero well you know okay but apparently some cocaine a plain old getting together with me when it left his home that evening so went to this party man and my friends were at this party and and I felt uncomfortable when I got to this party probably because like when I really think back on my life like I've always just felt uncomfortable you know like I don't know what it is like my whole life has just been this constant struggle with every moment like I'm just wrestling with every second just to feel okay like I don't even want to feel good just sent me in the middle you know so I'm at this party and I'm feeling how I feel regularly uncomfortable so I decided to have some drinks because my friends were alcoholics and I'm competitive so I had me a couple tequila's and and I was feeling alive you know I was feeling a little more comfortable now 1:30 in the morning I left this I left this party because at 6:30 a.m. I had to be on the nationally syndicated radio program the Opie and Jim Norton radio show and it's a yeah it's a wonderful show that takes there in New York City New York and and those are two men that I really admire you know and admire is when somebody's better than you but you still like them so at 1:30 a.m. I get into this taxicab right this beautiful asian girl that I do not know gets into the taxi with me we're both headed the same way they call it sharing a taxi okay and this girl lays the back of her head right into my lap what and I'm thinking [ __ ] yeah you know New York's got these beautiful free asian girls with every taxi ride so this girl's just laying in my lap and she just starts reminiscing about her evening you know she said she said she had a nice evening but then her boyfriend wasn't in town that he's never in town then she goes what happens in taxis stays in taxes and I'm not the brightest you know bowl in the bowl drawer but I'm looking around this vehicle after she says that and I'm thinking this is a taxi you know mean taxi me once shame on me so I'm feeling kind of cavalier after her statements right I'll go down to make a kiss you know this young lady's laying in my lap I go down to make a kiss now trying to kiss somebody that's laying in your lap that's a beautiful idea until you get right here you're just milling around like a lip rapist brother so she pushed me off oh she called me asleep she called me up call me up my Bert [Music] definitely not a creep and at that point it's just me and the driver you know and and I thought he said drugs he could have said something else English wasn't his first language you know he was by language but I heard drugs in my head you know and so I said okay like I was Costa for Columbus brother and I heard him accelerate that vehicle and that's universal language but we're gonna get some cocaine cuz that's a drug to me you know we wheat is a confusing spice so we just drove man man we just rode man and uh we drove about a half hour into like North Harlem if that's even a place I don't even know but it was a dark neighborhood that's not a euphemism all the streetlights were busted out so you couldn't tell that it was predominantly black but I grew up in a black neighborhood I know when I'm back you know and we got there man and I gave this dude some money he gets out of the vehicle comes back a few minutes later with some cocaine on him you know but he sits in the back seat next to me a little alarming you know but this beautiful gentleness cooped up a little bit of cocaine on the car key put it under my nose killed that baby brother then I scooped him once and he killed his man and just a couple of dueling cocaine Asst we got high man we got high about 40 minutes dude I read I remember being so high at one point I was like dude where the [ __ ] is a driver so we sat there man we continued to get high together me and his beautiful gentleman and he said Luigi that was his name Luigi and I thought that was Spanish you know like that rare Italian Spanish Spanish Teodoro as I learned Spanish in Louisiana my whole life I thought Teodoro was Spanish for Theodore which is my first name about six months ago this girl goes that means I adore you it's fine right it's fun to tell people you were doing when you meet them but when you're an hour deep into an Eightball with a man who keeps saying he's Luigi and you just keep saying I adore you to that 99% of the time this don't end heterosexually so he starts saying I got a gift for you I got a give and I grew up in like a broken neighborhood you know I thought it was gonna be his talk you know so I start practicing my like see a [ __ ] like don't be interested faces [Laughter] so I'm running through the rolodex of no [ __ ] for me faces and then he keeps saying I got a gift for gifts I got a gift for you they don't think it's like a thing on his phone you know like a gif you know like a disappointed walrus do you know but then I'm here on the taxi door I'm like who knocks on a car door dude come in or just be out there we who raised in a house of car doors in it so I'm like come in that's now I gotta live in this [ __ ] universe they created by noggin and a tooth gets in a prostitute you know to - you can't say props process somebody that uh have a prosthetic you know gotta to get man you call him across they got everything but I don't want to deal with a prostitute tonight I just want to go hang with my adorable buddy you know in this prostitute man she had like uh you know she had a wig - covered you could see about 60% of her face okay and to me it look like a man's face right which is fine you know no judgment there I'm just saying if I were on a game show called guess 60% of this first this is fabulous I would guess man first yeah but so we're all we're all back there getting high together in this prostitute starts making advances towards me and I don't want a prostitute so I get out of the taxi into the street in North Harlem right luigi comes out after me cuz that's new friendship and he's like honey dollars hundred dollars honey dollars so I give him a hundred bucks I'm thinking he's gonna pay this - sure go on about her business we'll get back to you know uh you know friendship I'll look over a minute later they're kissing on each other's necks okay he's invented my hundred back here with this prostitute I still have a $240 meter on the front of this taxi right so I'm out 360 not even in the being unfair then I get back into the taxi but now I'm sitting in the front passenger seat right you can hear Luigi and the tune in the back you can hear the light rustlings of a [ __ ] you know kind of this just simmer enough into existence a good [ __ ] not to sound like you know what is he on the Internet sound like somebody's out a water park so now I'm trying to be considerate and quietly do cocaine by myself right just the softest little cokehead you ever met dude just like a just like a newborn rabbit just hopin to pon the ground you know and one point I was leaning my head back and just quietly dumping cocaine into the bottom of my nose it was awesome bro Luigi's in the back dude he's at the water park bro he got that all day wristband dude he don't give up fast about me and this is what I knew I had a problem man not specifically with drugs and alcohol but with the way that I behave when I'm on drugs and alcohol when I moved over into the driver seat of this taxi right put on my seat belt I remember asking them to put their seat belt on and I started this vehicle and I drove us off in a North Harlem man at 4:15 in the morning just driving drove by about 20 minutes I knew I was you know my brain is like damn do your loss it's 4:30 in the morning man you're how cocaine but at least you're working I pull down round up a couple of hundred dollars on that car seat I started walking off man I walked about three blocks got an irregular taxi right I get to my hotel it's 5:30 in the morning and in one hour I gotta be on the nationally syndicated radio program the Opie and Jim Norton radio show two men that I really admire so I finished doing my cocaine because you can't not finish your cocaine to try to not finish okay I took three showers in ten minutes and dried off after each one I get up to the radio station they tell me I gotta be in the air for three hours there's a million listeners right I can't feel my face with either hand hi ii feel my neck running on neck thoughts and the other guest for the day is Darryl Strawberry he's in the Hall of Fame he's a Hall of Fame baseball player and he's in the Hall of Fame for cocaine wasn't a taint ball this beautiful man couldn't hit right so it just made me think like dude you got to tighten up you know and I'll say this too about Darryl Strawberry man I have big nostrils Darryl Strawberry that's the biggest nostrils you ever seen I'm not saying there's a shame dead stars at the bottom of his nose okay and I just say it so that you understand he didn't stand a chance against the fine power this beautiful man could kill a spice rack from 70 feet away what you looking at coriander but on this day he was everything I needed to see you know so yeah so that's when I got sober never been sober for 11 bucks an LPO Vaughn thank you for having me you got three good [Applause] [Music] that was the biggest for the tendon or damn I mean that's not surprising see he went like I said he did shrunk and he did what to go do like a set high as hell yeah so hooked up on this long ride to Obion oh my don't be in Joyner taxi chillin with Sergio I mean Luigi I got no cocaine stores I got some marijuana stores he's a Vera Juan is a confusing spice not really a drug don't forget you said cook make it visually and I'll make you can Elsa Larry's man I was hilarious story I would like to chill with the oh one day one smoke blowing get some drinks Oh cocaine for me three hours and 10 minutes maybe drive off in the early shower Yeah right it did hey you know the narrow strawberry like if he's sitting across the table from Darryl strawberry's probably right looking like Nikki high as hell because he's a professional cook or he was a professional coach and even doer if you do enough of that [ __ ] you were Pro yeah

Channel: Frankenstein's Lab

Views: 417,919

Rating: 4.9365158 out of 5

Keywords: Theo Von Me and Darryl strawberry reaction, Theo Von me and darryl strawberry, the von this is not happening, theo von stand up comedy, theo von reaction, theo von, comedy central, comedy central this is not happening, stand up comedy, stand up reaction

Id: Kitcm3xhNL0

Length: 18min 21sec (1101 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 13 2019