THE UNDERCOVER NARCISSIST- Covert Narcissist by RC Blakes

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good-evening good-evening good-evening hope everybody is doing well tonight I just wanted to break in and talk to you for a few minutes it's it's always a joy to be able to share with you and I have something I want to discuss tonight relative to the undercover narcissist or the covert narcissist and as I always say I'm just studying this subject and I'm learning a lot as I go but the more I study this thing called narcissism the more I'm discovering that I have have been involved and am involved with this type of person more than I realized and the most dangerous of narcissist is a covert narcissist one that one that is undercover one that one that does not really truly show his or her hand he's he or she is a covert narcissist and you're dealing with this person and you don't even realize what you're dealing with and so I want to discuss this evening this individual the undercover narcissist covert meaning that which is secretive that which is undercover that which flies beneath the radar as opposed to an overt narcissist one that is blatant one that is obvious one that is on top of the table so to speak the the covert narcissist is probably even more dangerous because he or she is not as easily detected as an overt narcissist and what happens is this individual uses emotional manipulation under the cloak of nice guy they utilize emotional manipulation under the cloak of nice-guy in fact they make you believe and feel as though they are your best friend in the world and the reality is that they are at the very same time your chief enemy they are really only the friend of themselves but they have a way of making you feel as though they're all for you and you sell yourself out to this bogus relationship not knowing that you've really taken a snake into your bosom this is a a covert narcissist one that has no capacity to listen to this very carefully one that has no capacity to feel empathetic towards you one that has no capacity to respect or honor your feelings or how something might impact you but at the same time they know how to act the I believe this is just my my assumptions as I'm studying this I believe that the covert narcissist is more cerebral even than the over ignore assist I believe in some way the narcissist that is clearly obviously a narcissist is more emotional than a covert narcissist who knows how to manage his or her true feelings and knows how to paint the picture for you that they've predetermined you desire to see they know how to become exactly what you think you desire in your mind and they know how to become that so they're more cerebral they're more intentional they're more calculating and they they size you up and they move in like a hunter that is camouflaged they move in for the kill and your your life is taken and you're moving into should I say a life-threatening situation but you don't realize it because they are functioning under a camouflaged person oh they are a covert narcissist making you feel like they're there to serve you but the entire time they're self serving the Bible in Matthew 7 and 15 the Bible says beware of false prophets which come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly they are ravening wolves I believe this describes much of society today those that come in the name under the guise of one thing but beneath the surface they are extremely dangerous and that's that's the covert narcissist some of you are dealing with this individual on your job some of you are trying to date this person and they're making you believe that what they're portraying is is reality but here's the reality in especially a dating scenario you should really take your time allow time to lapse don't be in such a hurry to rush a relationship forward or to the next level take your time ask questions because questions reveal motives be patient don't allow the relationship listen to this very carefully and I know a lot of you say well you have old fogey kind of values and I do because they work don't allow the relationship to become sexual because once it becomes sexual your senses are dulled your spiritual senses of discernment and your intellectual senses of just common sense decision-making you know these things are dulled once you allow the sexual door to be open and so this is how so many people get into your life that are not what they appeared or promoted themselves to be it's because you allow the relationship to move too fast you allow the relationship to become sexual out of divine context which dull your senses which made you vulnerable in places where you should have been fortified and so you have to be aware that there are all kinds of false personas out here today but beneath the surface they are like wild hungry wolves that come to devour you you have to know this you have to know this now for for the covert narcissist you have to understand this secrecy is the covert or the undercover narcissist weapon narcissus weapon secrecy they want everything to be a secret they want to keep everything secret they they they construct their persona in a way that they can keep the truth about them secret they don't they try to avoid answering many questions I think this is probably one of the ways to smoke a covert NAR narcissist out sooner than later is by asking a lot of questions they are not going to hang around to answer all of these questions they'll get frustrated and they'll try to back you down off of asking questions but if you're persistent the the interrogation will smoke them out and drive them off because they they value secrecy secrecy is their is their weapon and I believe from a biblical perspective Judas Iscariot models the secretive strategy of the covert narcissist though I cannot say that Judas was a narcissist he certainly like all of us he had a narcissistic episode an extreme narcissistic episode when he sold the Lord Jesus Christ out for silver for some self-serving purpose it was certainly in narcissistic episode some said that he was not a narcissist because he exemplified remorse to the extent that he committed suicide and so I have to agree with that with what with what I have learned thus far but he definitely models the secretive strategy of the covert narcissist he doesn't want his target to know this is the this is the covert narcissist he does not want his target to know what he's doing he likes to occupy the space of friend but he's really a friend / enemy friend of me I think they call it and that's what Judas did when he when he betrayed the Lord Jesus Christ in Matthew 26 14 through 16 it says then one of the twelve called Judas Iscariot went unto the chief priests and said unto them what will you give me and I will deliver him unto you and they covenant it with him for 30 pieces of silver and from that time he sought opportunity to betray him and then he made watch this when you read the full context Judas makes and an agreement with them that he will kiss Jesus so he betrayed him with a kiss even though he betrayed him and sold him out he didn't want Jesus to know the truth about who he was so even to the bitter end he was he was maintaining his sense of secrecy he gave them a sign and the sign was that the one I kiss is is Jesus Christ and you have people like that in your life that our highly secretive you they never invite you into their personal space you've never gone to their home you you don't you don't meet their family and friends you don't go to their church you don't go to their office parties everything is secretive they they want to keep you a secret it's because the covert narcissist his or her weapon is secrecy they want to hide you from their people if they have any but they certainly want to keep themselves hidden from your people because the plan is to maintain the secrecy as they manipulate you into untying your significant relationships like parents brothers and sisters family and friends of course you know all of that kind of thing so secrecy is the covert narcissist weapon they maintain secrecy to you know to the bitter end they will not let you in they will not let you know exactly what's going on it's like pulling teeth it's like this is the nicest person in the world and I know nothing about them this is the nicest girl in the world nicest man in the world can I know nothing about him I know nothing about her another another thing that happens with with covert or undercover narcissist is that they create they'll watch this though their surface persona is is loving and they know how to make you think that they are you know just just the epitome of what you've been praying for what you've been desiring this thing is undeniable they create anxiety in your world and as much as they play this I'm the perfect one role for you there's this undeniable tension that they bring into your life there's this undeniable anxiety stress that's what word there's this undeniable stress that they introduce into your world when they come it's like you know you have any conversations it's like this guy is the greatest guy in the world I mean on paper he's everything you know he's saying all the right stuff he's doing all the right stuff but I why is it that I feel uneasy why is it that I feeling unhappy well the thing you have to understand is that your spirit is very sensitive now your brain can be deceived you know you can be deceived up in your in your brain but your spirit always discerns what is right from what is wrong now we ignore our spirit but your spirit man will always discern and when your spirit man is unsettled you become anxious and there's something about a person that is not right that even though they are saying all of the right stuff and doing all of the right stuff when they enter your space they stir up this anxiety that you can't put your finger on I can't quite put my finger on it but I know it's there something is not right and some of you are dating people like this right now where you know they've not said anything or done anything but there's something that you just know is not right and you you know you're just unsettled you're you're you're happy or just like I should be very happy I have everything to be happy for this person is doing everything right but I'm not really happy with this person and maybe there's something wrong with me then you begin to feel bad about thinking you know strange about this individual but I will say this to you never ignore the leading of your spirit your spirit knows stuff never ignore the leading of your spirit the covert narcissist uh sure is confusion into your world it's a strange thing how when you when you begin to deal with a covert narcissist it's a strange thing how your significant relationships become strained all of a sudden your relationship with your parents is rocky your relationship with your friends get rocky gets rocky is because in secrecy they are planting seeds and they're undermining your the foundation of your world they're undermining the foundation of your world this is where the anxiousness comes from they're undermining everything that you're founded on your foundation is shifting that's why you feel anxious that's why you feel uneasy unsettled unhappy even though this person is you know portraying that you should yet you have everything in the world to be happy for you don't you don't feel it because your spirit is not settled they uh sure confusion into your world they have a way watch this the covert narcissist has a way of tormenting your mind there's something about watch this their voice that just begins to you that's your spirit man that is saying that your spirit man is the ultimate red flag everything can look cool on the surface but if you don't feel if you don't feel right in your spirit that is the ultimate red flag they create watch this they create self-doubt they talk a lot to cover up exactly they create self doubt self kinda want to dictate the conversation they create self condemnation they cause you to second-guess your decisions another thing I think I think another thing that will give them away is that they always want to control your decisions they'll play the nice guy the supportive one and all of that kind of thing but when it boils down they'll be smiling and they'll be talking you out of what you said you really want to do and when you check the record they've always talked you out of exactly what you said you wanted to do and as they talked you out of what you say he want to do you find your life drifting further and further and further away from your foundation and you become increasingly more miserable because you are they are snow their soul Snatchers they are robbing you of yourself they're everything you you imagine you want it on the surface they know exactly what to say how to perform but a performance it is and at the end of the day they create anxiety and frustration and confusion and stress in your world and you don't know where it comes from and you feel guilty about feeling it because they portray to you that you have every reason to be happy but yet you're miserable let me show you an example of this I believe in Acts chapter 16 verses 16 through 18 and it says this and it came to pass as we went to prayer came to pass as we went to prayer a certain damsel possessed with the spirit of divination Medus which brought a master's much gain by sooth saying the same followed Paul and us and cried saying these men are the servants of the Most High God which showing us the way of salvation now this girl had a demonic spirit and this spirit was so manipulative that this spirit followed Paul around and said all of the right stuff these men are the servants of the Most High God was showing us the way of salvation and this did she many days but watch this she was saying all of the right stuff looked like she was in support look like she look like she had was holding them down she was saying you know promoting them following them around and in the Bible says but Paul being grieved turned and said to the spirit I command in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her and he came out the same hour though she was saying all of the right stuff though she seemed as though she was in support of Paul was grieved there are some of you that are dealing with people right now who are saying all of the right things seemingly doing all of the right stuff but your spirit is grieved never lock your life down to a person with a person that grieves you spiritual discernment always picks up on the game spiritual discernment will always pick up on the game your spirit will be aware before your brain catches up so you got to learn to pay attention to that oh that's something you feel in here you got to learn to pay attention to that some of you all call it intuition you got to learn to pay attention to your spirit because your spirit is going to detect this situation long before your brain does and where we get in trouble is when we try to denounce the dictation of our spirit to accommodate the desires of our brains because in our brains thank you so much I see you all god bless you I love you all I'm still trying to get used to this this sewing thing but I love you I appreciate it spiritual discernment always picks up on the game but you have to learn to pay attention because the covert narcissist will create undeniable anxiety and they do it in a number of ways a passive aggression is one of the ways that they'll create this tormenting environment passive aggressiveness you know where doesn't you know you don't realize that they're actually being aggressive because they're they're seemingly coming across as passive you know you make the decision you make the choice and then you can look at them and tell by their facial expression that they're really not happy with the choice you're making so you know it pressures you passively they're pressuring you to go with what they want it and then you know once you say okay lives we're gonna do it your way you sure you sure cuz you know I would have been good with your with your way was passive-aggressive then you know they'll they'll they'll make you pity them they'll lie even they'll lie to tell you that they're dealing with stuff they're not really dealing with that they're having problems and complications that they don't really have because they want to create within you a certain pity to them they'll give you the silent treatment you don't give them what they want they'll smile and they'll give you the silent treatment you know won't talk to you walking around the same room yes and what's wrong nothing I'm good I'm good FAC I'm better than good are you talking to them they just staring at you just looking at you you know all crazy looking and then of course they create this secretive conflict between you and others that are close to you because of their jealousy about the relationships and their desire to control you without anybody else's oversight and see this is happening with a lot of you like some of you all are dating people that are talking you out of your relationship with your your family and your friends and quite frankly your family your friends have done nothing to you their warrants you're isolating them from your life but you have this person that's creating this false narrative in your mind that your mama jealous of you your daddy jealous of your brothers and sisters jealous of you you need them out of your life all you need is me that's that's a line of truth a me the only one you need is God I'm not gonna let nobody come and you just showing up in my life and I'm gonna let you talk me out of all of my significant relationships that have supported me all of my life Oh no no you a devil you devil straight from mill you got to go you got to go because anybody that's trying to burn your fundamental bridges they're gonna burn your bridge they're gonna put you on an island and then burn all of your bridges that lead back to everything you come from what kind of sense does that make what kind of sense does that make as much as I love Lisa Lisa came into my life trying to separate me from my family and my you know Naz you know some of y'all got some some horrific families that's unfortunate that's an unfortunate reality but I'm talking about people who have great families good families great friends and you gonna let this person just pop up in your life and they're going to talk you out of all of your significant relationships and create all of this anxiety now you have all of these thoughts in your mind about people that have only loved you only loves you all of your life all you've known of these people is that they have given and they have loved you they have been there for you but now because of your connection to this person they have created this anxiousness in your mind that you looking at everybody but them you are looking at everybody but them and that's the point they so they create they create anxiety or anxiousness or drama or you know they just they just created I guess this is number three I didn't number them they manipulate every negative situation to blame you you are always the cause it's so bad with with the covert narcissist that they can be busted cheating and by the time they get through talking they have you apologizing for not for not giving them what they needed let me say it again they are the one that cheated they're the one that went out and slept with somebody else and by the time they get through talking you're apologizing for having not given them what they needed you're telling them you're sorry when they're the one that went out and slept around on you because they manipulate every situation to blame you they know how to they are the masters of shifting blame you know and see one thing I've learned in terms of dealing with these people because I deal I deal with this man I deal with this more than y'all can even imagine is that when it comes down to a situation where they have shown their hand and there's some kind of drama that's arisen and if I challenge them on it and they begin to try to turn the tables to try to make make it make it appear as though I am guilty I just shut it down I'm not going back and forth with you you know you know exactly what you did you know exactly what the truth of this situation is and I'm not gonna sit here and try to prove to you that I'm on the right side of this issue because you already know it and see that's where a lot of you get into trap you want to try to do this verbal jousting with them so as to prove your point that what they're accusing you of you're not guilty of you can't prove that to them they already know that you're not guilty and they've already devised in their mind a rebuttal for any truth you might raise because their ultimate goal is to shift the blame to you to create a scenario that blames you you're the blame for everything these people okay sometimes you parent you give you give you parent these kinds of people and they grow up you've done everything you can as a parent as a single mother or even as a single father sacrificed work two and three jobs did everything possible put them through school college and everything in the net have nerve enough to grow up and blame you for their hardship in life if I had a better parent if you had been there if I had been there and you have you know because they make these crazy statements it shocks you and it's like I can't believe the first thought you have is I can't believe she thinking that I can't believe he thinking that about me I got to make them know the truth they already know the truth they already know the truth the blame game is to incarcerate you psychologically make you feel guilty and once I once I once I push guilt on to you guilt as a steering wheel I can steer you wherever I want you to go because you're gonna be so busy trying to prove to me that you're not what I called you so you cannot you know get engaged with this individual when they begin to when you begin to see them trying to blame you for stuff that's not your fault once you once you lay out your case and if once you see that they're just not gonna receive it let it be oh you just go you just go X me out of your life well it is what it is but I'm not guilty that gaslighting that's exactly what it is gaslighting where they make you think that you're crazy you are the one that's wrong you always doing this to me you hurt me so bad everybody always hurts me now you hurting me too victim status you see you're hurting me - I can't believe you do it and I trusted you mark chapter three verses 1 through 7 it says and he entered again into the synagogue and there was a man there which had a withered hand and they watched him whether he would heal him on the birthday that they might accuse him they watched him watch before he had done anything they were watching him to see if they could find an occasion to accuse him and he saith unto the man which had the withered hands stand forth and he saith unto them is it lawful to do good on the Sabbath days or to do evil to save I thought to kill but they held their peace and when he had looked round about on them with anger being grieved for their hardness of their hearts he saith unto the man stretch forth that hand and he stretched it out and his hand was restored hold as the other and the Pharisees went forth and straightway took counsel with the Herodians against him how they might destroy him but Jesus withdrew himself with his disciples to the sea and a great multitude from Galilee followed him and from Judea so we see how Jesus was doing nothing but good and they were searching for an occasion to accuse him because these Pharisees were the epitome of narcissist and the Bible says as they were conspiring along with some other people how they might destroy him Jesus withdrew himself there are some situations once you discover that this is going on you just got to separate yourself from it you gotta just you got to just separate yourself from it bottom line you got to just separate yourself from it once you find that a person is manipulating every situation to make you the cause to blame you for everything that's wrong in their life or their relationship you got to just separate yourself from it because watch this like I always say questions reveal motives here's another saying accusations create questions but they're questions about yourself so if I accuse you enough of being this or being that if I accuse you enough what happens is those accusations begin to sink into your brain and create within your your own mind a list of questions about you your worth your value and see this is this the this is the psychological game that narcissus played to get into your head and to redefined redefine rather to redefine who you are fundamentally in your own mind to shrink your your self perspective your self value your self evaluation evaluation evaluation whichever one is right so they master the language of the victim you know if if you would have if you didn't do if you had done because of you I'm this because of you you hurt me so bad I forget who says it but one one person says this is not mine victims want to fix their abuser you know that you are a victim when somebody hurts you and all you can think about is how you can fix them while abusers want nothing but to blame victims victims want to fix abusers and there's some of you that are watching this right now who are fully engaged in situations where you're trying to fix someone that has broken you jeezum that's a good one right there you are trying to fix the person that has broken or let me change that you're trying to fix the person that is consistently breaking you some of you right now are fully engaged in in so-called relationships where you are constantly trying to fix the person that is breaking you on a daily basis now what was that number three I didn't number them I think that was number three so this would be number four okay the covert narcissist we'll also use subtle indirect criticisms to devalue you subtle criticisms positioned at the exact perfect time to break your self-esteem okay let me give you an example of what I mean by that you'll be in the gym working out and you've been gym working out and you have lost a few pounds and some inches and what have you and they'll you know they'll come into the situation and they'll say something like like you're picking up a little weight there huh you mean picking up weight you I'll go to the gym every day I'm losing weight oh really oh I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't know that you losing weight but see they're gonna plant seeds they're gonna plant seeds to make you feel bad about yourself because if you feel good about yourself you may wake up and realize that they are beneath you so to keep you in a position where they can maintain their position in your life they'll drop these subtle criticisms to erode your self-esteem you can be looking fabulous I mean you know just have the exact perfect dress on exact perfect whatever style for your figure just everything perfect your hair right everything right and you know there's how like that dress I don't like that dress he'd put on some Mills a dress don't look good on you you know maybe it may be a little more subtle than that or they would say maybe they'll say it like this you gonna wear that yeah I like this I think this little oh you say so if you say so okay okay you don't think it'd look good on me well you know you know that's not that's how to start just you know just just subtle subtle subtle subtle subtle you know that's how that's how they begin to erode your fundamental fountain the foundation of your fundamental relationships they'll just drop stuff you think your mama jealous oh yeah you know looking at your sister your sister I saw something in our eyes when you when you pulled up at your new car I saw something I it's always subtle they drop subtle criticisms to devalue you and to plant seeds in your mind use subtle criticisms it's kind of like it's kind of like the serpent it's kind of like Satan in the garden you know he goes in and says you know to Eve you know God knows if y'all eat this fruit y'all gonna be like him God don't really want y'all with all of that and so he drops these this subtle criticism of God to cause Eve to devalue the Word of God and he goes and she convinces Adam and while I here we are but they use subtle criticism to devalue you that's number four okay I'm almost done number five anything you're excited about a proud of they will make make little of it anything that you are excited about or proud of they will make little of it you know like you can come home talking about the Rays you got how much you got $20,000 it's nice it's nice I guess that's nice for you that's nice I guess that's nice for you they're gonna dismiss anything that you are excited about and proud of and if you're excited to the point that you want to talk about it they're not going have much to say about it anything that you want to talk about they don't want to talk about that they want to change the subject and usually the subject has changed it's something that redirects the conversation back to them subtly subtly they love talking about themselves they do not love talking about you or anything that you're excited about or are proud of pay attention people that you have in your life that never have a lot to say about the things that you're most excited about you all up in there and all they got are criticisms they have nothing at all to say you know now finally the they will tell everybody in your circle what is this number five number six they'll tell everybody in your circle is one of those numbers it'll tell everybody in your circle about how great you are but they'll never share that with you why is that they don't want to build your self-esteem but they want to impress everybody in your circle that they are on your side because a lot of times the covert narcissist is working to win your family and friends even while they're separating you from them so that when it comes down to it when they try to make you look crazy to your circle your people and your friends won't believe it and at the same time they have isolated you from them so they'll tell everybody worried about how great you are but they'll never share that with you you never hear it from them they don't even they don't even know how to give you a compliment they don't even know how to give you a compliment so I'm done I'm done I just wanted to share this with you all tonight hey let me say this to you this is what December 19th I think it is 2018 Friday my online course transcending the father wound is going to be available at my website RC Blake's calm Friday that's this Friday it's it's going to be available you can go to RC Blake's calm and you can you can get access to my online course the transcending the father one for those of you who have overcome the the lack of paternal involvement in your lives your father wasn't there there's a there's there's some things you need to understand and there's a way for you to transcend or rise above even a hurdle like that so this Friday you'll be able to go to my website RC Blake's dot-com and you'll be able to gain access to that if you desire to do so let me pray for you father God I thank you for this time I thank you for this word that I've shared and I thank you for just giving me the insight as I look into this and as a study it I thank you for giving me the insight in the the articulation to communicate it to people God prayerfully this brings closure to a lot of hearts prayerfully dear God this brings healing and this brings a sense of rest in peace to many dear God that are in confusion in a pray also that this enlightens or opens the eyes of many dear God who are dealing with these things and did not know what it was they were dealing with I ask you now by the power of the Holy Spirit to illumine to bring healing to to just bring closure in Jesus's name Amen well I love you hey this is your kind of thing differ ability thank you thank you thank you if this is your kind of channel I'd love for you to subscribe and become a part of our family go to RC Blake's comm and also sign up for my mailing list sign up for my mailing list that way you know exactly what's going on I'm really getting ready to engage that mailing list like I've I'm really believing God for somebody that can create newsletters for me so that I can maintain constant contact with you but that's how you enter into my world as long as we're just here on social media there's no way for us to really develop a personal connection but when you go to my website and you sign up for my mailing list you then enter into my domain where we can always maintain it this goes away we can always maintain a sense of connection by way of that database so I need you on there if you desire to be a part of my world also share this give me some thumbs up all your comments all of that stuff helps me to just go to the next level I appreciate you so much let me also say this next year we're doing queen ology in Atlanta in February and it's sold out in five days now here's the next city that we're getting ready to try to open up someone's in this particular city this week checking on some things and that is Las Vegas we're possibly bringing clean ology to Las Vegas if I can get the right numbers on venues and what-have-you we will open up Las Vegas very very very soon that's why you need to be on my on my mailing list because when it opens my mailing list we'll be the first ones to know about it those of you in Southern California Arizona Nevada so forth and so on Las Vegas would be a spot that all of you can make it to now the vision for next year is to maintain intimate settings so these settings will be a hundred hundred and fifty at the most and once we hit that number we shut it off so when I say that registration is open for Las Vegas you you probably need to do that and go in you know go and do that as soon as possible because I'm looking for Las Vegas to go even faster than Atlanta did and then I'm thinking possibly about a third city for 2019 to bring queen ology to so that's my little noun sment saul of my you know news and what-have-you again this is this is December 19 2018 so if you're listening at some other time in the future this does not apply not these announcements the message does all right I'm done I'm out of here I love you all I thank God for you go again to my website RC Blake's com sign up for my mailing list and look forward to hearing from you and meeting you sometime in the near future god bless you I love you thank you for all your comments I just can't read all of them come to Philly I may very well do that I may very well do that god bless you I love you all talk to you real soon

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Channel: RC Blakes, Jr

Views: 82,508

Rating: 4.9272895 out of 5

Keywords: Dating Advice, Relationships, Christian, Narcissist, RC BLAKES

Id: tu9KDc96_yA

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Length: 46min 45sec (2805 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 19 2018

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