The Truth About Running

>>IT WAS MY DAUGHTER MALLORY. SHE ASKED US FOR A STOPWATCH FOR HER BIRTHDAY. I NEVER SUSPECTED ANYTHING. >>MY SON MATT STARTED HANGING OUT WITH A NEW CROWD. I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOOD KIDS, BUT SOON HE STARTED WEARING SHORT-SHORTS AND T-SHIRTS WITH BAD PUNS. >>WHERE DID YOU GET THIS? RUNNING NOSE. >>I KNOW. >>EVERY YEAR 13 MILLION KIDS TRY DISTANCE RUNNING FOR THE FIRST TIME. UNAWARE THAT THEY'RE BEGINNING A LIFE OF CHAFFING AND MALE THIGH EXPOSURE. >>YOU DR. SCHOLL'S? >>INDEED I AM. YOU GUYS NEED SHOES? >>YEAH. >>OH, BAM. AND THESE RIGHT HERE. TRY THOSE ON FOR SIZE. >>WHAT'S THIS GOING TO RUN US? >>IT'S 25. >>GIVE IT TO HIM. >>YEAH. >>OUR SON ADAM SAID IT WAS JUST A PARTY, BUT WHEN WE WENT TO GO ON CHECK ON HIM-- NO! IT WAS A 5K. NO! I HAVE NO SON! >>HONEY, STOP. >>I HAVE NO SON! DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS! [CRYING] >>ADAM! >>YOU ARE LITERALLY BREAKING YOUR MOTHER'S HEART. >>SOON 5KS WEREN'T ENOUGH. HE STARTED GETTING INTO MARATHONS. >>WHAT IS THIS? OKAY! >>IT JUST KEPT GETTING MEDAL, AFTER MEDAL, AFTER MEDAL-- >>AFTER MEDAL. HIS NECK... >>SO MUCH WEIGHT, IT JUST DRUG HIM DOWN. >>EVERYDAY MORE AND MORE OF THESE HOODLUMS ARE RUNNING THE STREETS. BUT WHAT ARE THEY RUNNING FROM? WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO HIDE? WE GOT TO GET BACK TO TRADITIONAL VALUES LIKE WALKING, SITTING DOWN-- >>I SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE WARNING SIGNS. YOU KNOW, HE WAS RUNNING IN PLACE A LOT AND USED GEL INSERTS. I MEAN, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE YOU FIND THAT KIND OF THING. >>SUSPECT IS BEING CHARGED WITH DISTANCE RUNNING, RUNNER'S HIGH, FREAKISH SCRAWNINESS-- >>HEY! >>YOU KEEP QUIET. >>BUT AS THE RUNNING EPIDEMIC SPREADS, PARENTS AND TEACHERS ARE POWERLESS TO STOP IT. >>WE TOOK AWAY HER RUNNING SHOES HOPING SHE WOULD STOP AND THEN WE HEAR ABOUT THIS THING CALLED BARE-FOOT RUNNING? WAS THIS SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE? I MEAN, WHERE DOES IT STOP? >>PARENTS, TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT DISTANCE RUNNING. HELP THEM FIND BETTER HOBBIES LIKE VIDEO GAMES. >>COULD YOU STOP IT FOR MINUTE MATT? >>NAPPING OR DIABETES. >>IF YOU DON'T EAT YOUR DONUT YOU CAN'T HAVE BROCCOLI. >>NO, DAD. IT'S GOING TO SLOW ME DOWN. >>I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU. >>IN EXTREME CASES SEEK MEDICAL HELP. >>YOUR SON HAS TESTED POSITIVE FOR SHIN SPLINTS. >>CHOP THE LEG. >>IT'S-- >>CHOP THE LEG. >>DISTANCE RUNNING, IT'S A DANGEROUS AND SLIPPERY SLOPE. SOMETIMES A HEALTHY LIFE IS WORSE THAN DEATH.

Channel: undefined

Views: 6,441,138

Rating: 4.9073772 out of 5

Keywords: Studio C, BYU Television (TV Network), BYUtv, Running, Marathon (Sport), 10k, 5k, Distance Running, Drugs, Just say no, addiction, teenagers, Clean Comedy, Parady, Spoof, Family Comedy, Clean Humor, Sketch Comedy (TV Genre), Funny, SNL, Saturday Night Live (TV Program), Clean SNL, BYU, Matt Meese, Mallory Everton, Jason Gray, Whitney Call

Id: -NwHNHNXsg0

Length: 3min 50sec (230 seconds)

Published: Mon May 19 2014

Reddit Comments

[u/domstyle]

CHOP THE LEG!

[u/AllGoodInTheHood]

LOL, $25 for 2 pairs of running shoes.

[u/[deleted]]

I thought it was funny. It also made me feel guilty about having a rest day.

[u/[deleted]]

Excessive scrawniness lol. Perfect. Obviously not a lot of money put into it, but that's what makes it genuinely funny.

[u/raytulip]

The medals!!! The shoes!!!! Then when we took away his shoes, he began barefoot running!!!

[u/OSU_CSM]

Production value - 8/10

Comedic value - 3/10

[u/Thecampinator012]

"Tested positive for shin splints" oh god I died when I heard that.

[u/sonar_un]

It would have been funnier if they poured out running goos/gels like a crack addict.

[u/Wee2mo]

Haven't seen this in a while.