The Top 5 Reasons Why Men Disappear on You (and What You Can Do) [Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy]

I know what happens you go for months maybe even years without meeting someone you're truly attracted to and then out of nowhere a guy comes along who you find yourself drawn to on every level but after an initial attraction this guy disappears he stops being responsive he goes cold and you're left wondering why this depressing scenario took place why isn't the guy you want interested in you here are five possible reasons number one instead of falling for the real person you've fallen for an ideal this means that you have a guy in front of you who has great qualities maybe you bond intellectually maybe he likes art and you like art you like the same movies you find and very attractive and because he has a few qualities you really like you start to paint this picture of him as being ideal and it's one of the most dangerous things you can do because just because somebody's ideal on paper it doesn't mean they're ideal for you those are very different things it's a it's a non sequitur he has great qualities he's right for me no that's a huge jump in the middle there is the whole part where he chooses you where he says yes I want a relationship with you I know what I want in life and it's you when that part isn't there he cannot be ideal number two you don't keep up your standards with the guys you like look it's easy to have standards when you don't care if somebody leaves but when you really want someone that's when you start bending over backwards to please them and I see women everywhere giving extenuating circumstances to guys that they like we have to maintain our standards around the people we want especially around the people we want because when a guy sees you maintaining standards around him that's what makes you attractive that's what makes you desirable he knows that around you he has to raise his game so I want you to remember something that my boxing trainer Martin Snow told me five plus five is always ten marks it's called the sweet science and for a reason all right there's this logic to it there's a science to it 5+5 always equals ten it never varies five plus five does not equal eleven matter how good-looking a guy maybe stick a game plan execute the game plan you'll be a six-months so however a guy behaves five plus five is always tenth a guy's abusive five plus five is ten you don't need to sit there analyzing it and dissecting it you leave when a guy tells you is not sure what he wants or he doesn't want a relationship with you five plus five is always ten it's never eleven it doesn't matter if the guy's good-looking it doesn't matter if you really connect with him on the deepest level it doesn't matter if on paper he's everything you want five plus five is always ten when he does this you do this number three you obsess over your behavior too much I know women that constantly analyze what they did on a date what they're doing now what they should text a guy now I'm big into reading situations I'm big into human dynamics my entire career is built on understanding people and the ways that we should react but once we know how to react that's when to put the problem down I'm here to help you replace your instincts with training because that's a really important thing to do in life think about how a riptide works when you're out to sea and you get caught in a Riptide your instinct is to swim against it to try and get back to shore but if you do that it's more powerful than you you'll lose your energy and you'll get swept out further instead you have to swim parallel you have to go sideways until you get out of it and then you can swim back to the shore we have to rely not on instincts but on training and the same is true in dating when I give you scripts to text messages when I tell you the exact thing to say back to a guy I don't do that so that you obsess for the rest of your life about every little text message you send I say it so you can stop obsessing I say it so that you know the answer to five plus five hey is 10 now stop thinking about this in the text and go and live your life number four you move too quickly another problematic side effect of liking someone too much is that you want to rush through the stages to get closer to them but that doesn't allow courtship to take place I'm not talking about how quickly you sleep with someone or any of that stuff all I'm talking about is how much you invest in how soon when you over invest too quickly a guy worries that he hasn't actually earned his place in your life and if someone doesn't feel like they earned something they don't value it the same way and lastly number five because you're choosing unavailable men now I get it short-term there are rewards to choosing unavailable men it could be fun it could be exciting you can even have a beautiful love story with someone in the short-term but it doesn't mean long-term happiness is coming your way it deep inside you know that these people are unavailable I want you to choose long-term happiness with someone who's going to give you the world not short-term gratification with someone who just sees you as a chapter in their life so there are two big takeaways from this video no amount of effort with the wrong man is going to lead to your happiness and when you do find someone who's right for you you need to go against certain instincts follow the stages of attraction and allow it to unfold and create itself in an organic way or you could end up suffocating something before it's even begun if you want to know more about this I have a free guide for you here to go and download now check it out and otherwise I will see you in next week's video

Channel: Matthew Hussey

Views: 2,287,945

Rating: 4.9314194 out of 5

Keywords: matthew hussey, dating advice for women, what men want, how to attract men, meet men, get the guy, make him like you, make him love you, tips for women, flirting tips, texting, calling, how to talk to men, love advice, relationships, matt hussey, matthew hussy, mathew hussey, how to flirt, why he's gone, why men disappear, reasons men disappear, ghosting, why men leave, he stopped calling, he stopped texting, he disappeared

Id: vq9HhXdRZV8

Length: 5min 58sec (358 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 29 2017