The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck By Mark Manson - Detailed Animated Book Summary

Welcome to our animated book summary of the subtle art of Mark Manson today we're exploring a game-changing guide that turns conventional wisdom on its head are you tired of the Endless positivity and success at all costs messages bombarding you from all sides in this non-nonsense book we're invited to embrace a refreshing perspective life isn't about avoiding failure or discomfort it's about choosing the struggles that matter most to you through our exploration you'll discover powerful insights on how to navigate life's complexities with a new sense of clarity and purpose you'll learn why embracing negative experiences is crucial for personal growth and how facing life's challenges headon can lead to True fulfillment we'll discuss the importance of taking responsibility for your actions the liberating power of saying no and why committing to your values can transform your life but that's not all we'll also delve into the vital distinctions between fault and responsibility the often misunderstood concept of maturity and The crucial role of boundaries in maintaining healthy relationships prepare to challenge The Cult of exceptionalism and understand why being average can be a source of strength so if you're ready let's dive in before we dive into the first idea if you are a visual learner you have to check our app morphosis we have animated book summary videos for the best self-development and business books click the link in the description to get a 7-Day free trial and learn from hundreds of animated book summaries and don't forget to like this video And subscribe to our channel so you get notified when we upload free videos idea one the not giving a damn philosophy the central idea of the book revolves around a simple yet profound concept we all have a limited amount of energy and attention to give to the world around us think of it like this you start each day with a handful of golden coins each coin represents your care concern and attention throughout the day countless things ask for your coins your job your family the news social media your desires and fears but here's the catch if you give a coin to everything that asks you'll end up broke with nothing left for the things that truly matter to you this is where the philosophy kicks in it's about being selective with your coins it doesn't mean you don't care about anything instead you're choosing what to care about it's recognizing that some things in life like what someone said about you on social media or the fact that your favorite TV show got cancelled might not be worth your coin on the flip side things like your health your family or a passion project might deserve more of your golden coins life is full of ups and downs and if you're tossing coins at every little thing you'll be constantly reacting leaving you drained and unhappy but when you're picky about where your coins go you take control you focus on what builds you up rather than what tears you down it's not about being cold or indifferent it's about being strong in your choices this philosophy isn't always easy to live by it's tough to admit that some things just aren't worth the worry it takes practice and sometimes a bit of Courage you might feel pressure from those around you to give your coins away but remember they're yours and you get to choose where they go by adopting this mindset you might find that life becomes simpler clearer and more focused you have more energy for the things you love and the little annoyances don't knock you down as easily it's a way of navigating the chaos of Life while keeping keep your coins safe for the things that truly deserve them idea two embracing negative experiences life is not a smooth ride it's more like a roller coaster there are highs and there are definitely lows now here's a thought what if those lows the bad times and the tough experiences weren't just obstacles but actually important parts of the journey what if they were necessary for us to grow learn and become stronger often when something bad happens our first reaction is to push it away to avoid it or to drown it in distractions but imagine instead if we took those hard times and looked them straight in the eye it's not about enjoying pain or seeking out trouble but about seeing the value in the difficult moments when you go through something tough like failing at something you've worked hard for it stings it hurts but in that pain there's a lesson maybe it's about resilience or perhaps it shows you a different path you hadn't considered before it might even make you realize how much you want something lighting a fire inside you to try again and it's not just about the big things even the small annoyances like getting stuck in traffic or dealing with a difficult person are chances to practice patience and understanding this idea isn't about glorifying suffering or making light of real pain some experiences are truly tragic and they need care and compassion but for the everyday struggles the setbacks and the let Downs there's a silver lining they're part of being alive and they shape you in ways comfort and success never could by embracing the tough times you're saying yes to the whole spectrum of life you're becoming adaptable resilient and ironically you might find that those negative experiences don't hit you as hard they become like weights in a gym each struggle a bit of resistance that when faced headon makes you a little bit stronger if you like the video so far give it a like And subscribe to our channel so you get notified when we upload more animated book summaries also leave a comment if you agree or disagree with the ideas of this book we read all your comments thank you for your support now let's continue idea three you are not special it's a bit of a tough pill to swallow but think about it in a world of over 7 billion people the chances of being the most unique the most extraordinary or the most successful are pretty slim that's not to say you don't have your own special qualities or that you can't achieve great things but the idea here is about the pressure and unrealistic expectations that come with believing you have to be the absolute best or most special from a young age many of us are told we can be anything we want that we're unique and destined for greatness while this is meant to be encouraging it can sometimes backfire it sets up this idea that being average is the worst thing that could happen that if you're not standing out you're somehow failing but here's a different way to look at it what if being average in many ways is actually quite all right what if instead of constantly striving for a peak that only a few can realistically reach you found contentment in the everyday it's not about giving up on goals or not trying your best it's about measuring success in more personal meaningful ways rather than just the flashy standout achievements recognizing that you're not the center of the universe that you're not destined for greatness just because you exist can be freeing it takes the pressure off it allows you to live your life more fully appreciating the small victories and the simple joy it encourages you to Value hard work resilience and personal growth over the sometimes empty pursuit of being seen as special or above average it also helps in connecting with others when you realize that everyone has their own struggles successes and average days it Fosters empathy and understanding it reminds you that we're all in this together each of us trying our best with the cards we've been dealt so while it might not be the most glamorous message embracing your own averageness your own Humanity can actually lead to a more genuine more satisfying way of living it's not about settling it's about realizing that life's worth is not measured by how you stand out but by how you live each ordinary day with purpose kindness and authenticity idea four the value of suffering suffering might seem like something to avoid at all costs it's pain painful uncomfortable and often feels downright unpleasant but what if there's something valuable hidden in those tough moments what if the struggles and challenges you face are actually essential parts of a meaningful life think about the times you've suffered for something you really cared about maybe it was pulling all nighters to finish a project you were passionate about enduring a tough workout to hit a fitness goal or going through heartache that taught you about love and resilience that's suffering had a purpose and it likely led to growth learning or achievements that felt deeply rewarding the thing is suffering in itself isn't good or bad it's neutral it's the reasons behind it the meaning you attach to it that Define its value when you suffer for things that matter deeply to you your values your loved ones your dreams it can be a powerful and transformative experience but suffering without purpose on on the other hand is just pain it's the suffering you endure when you worry about things that don't really matter or when you chase after superficial goals that don't align with your deeper values it's the kind of suffering that doesn't lead anywhere except maybe to more suffering so it's not about seeking out suffering or putting yourself through unnecessary pain it's about recognizing that suffering is inevitable and what matters most is the why behind it it's about choosing your struggle choosing what's worth suffering for and then facing those challenges head on when you start to view suffering through this lens it changes the way you approach life's obstacles you begin to see them as opportunities to build resilience to learn and to deepen your understanding of what really matters to you it's a shift from avoiding suffering at all costs to engaging with it in a purposeful meaningful way and that can make all the difference in leading a fulfilling life idea five taking responsibility taking responsibility is a powerful concept it's about owning up to your life the good and the bad and understanding that your choices actions and reactions shape your reality it doesn't mean that everything that happens to you is your fault life can be random and unfair throwing curve balls that you have no control over but here's the key even when you can't control the situation you can control how you respond to it let's say someone rear ends your car it's not your fault you didn't cause it but now you have a choice you can either let anger and frustration take over ruining your day or you can handle the situation calmly dealing with the insurance and moving on the accident wasn't your fault but how you deal with it is your responsibility taking responsibility means not playing the blame game game it's easy to point fingers to make excuses to say things like I can't be happy because of X Y or Z but that mindset leaves you stuck powerless when you take responsibility You Take Back Control you say okay this is the situation what can I do about it it's about being proactive rather than reactive it also means taking responsibility for your emotions and well-being no one else else can make you happy or fulfilled those are inside jobs it's up to you to create a life that aligns with your values to set boundaries and to pursue what brings you Joy and meaning this isn't about burdening yourself with unrealistic expectations or beating yourself up for every mistake it's about honest self-reflection learning from your experiences and making conscious choices it's a continuous process a way of appr approaching life that empowers you to shape your own path in the end taking responsibility is liberating it frees you from victimhood from waiting for someone or something else to fix your life it's the realization that you have more power than you might think and with that power comes the ability to influence your own life in positive and meaningful ways idea six uncertainty as a ground for growth uncertainty can be pretty scary it's like walking through a foggy path not knowing what's around the next Bend but here's a Twist that same uncertainty the not knowing can actually be the soil where growth happens it's where you learn where you're pushed to adapt and where you discover strengths you didn't know you had think about the times you've learned something new it probably started with uncertainty maybe it was the first day of a new job or when you tried a hobby for the first time it felt uncomfortable right you didn't know what to expect you made mistakes and you had to figure things out as you went along but as you navigated through that uncertainty you grew you gained skills confidence and knowledge that you wouldn't have if you'd stayed in your comfort zone staying in what's familiar and certain is comfortable but it's also limiting it's like staying in a small circle of light you know everything inside that Circle but there's a whole world in the shadows that you're missing out on stepping into uncertainty is like expanding that circle of light it's not easy it's not supposed to be but it's where life becomes richer deeper and more vibrant embracing uncertainty means being okay with not having all the answers it's about being curious asking questions and being open to different possibilities it's about learning to be comfortable with the uncomfortable knowing that it's a sign of growth and change it also means letting go of the need for absolute control life is unpredictable and trying to control every little thing is like trying to hold on to water it's futile and exhausting instead focusing on what you can control like your effort your attitude and your actions gives you a sense of agency and influence even amidst uncertainty so while uncertainty can indeed be daunting it's also incredibly valuable it's where you're tested and where you learn the most about yourself and the world around you it's an invitation to explore to experiment and to grow in ways you might never have if you'd stayed within the confines of certainty idea seven failure is the way forward failure often gets a bad rap It's associated with loss pain and things not working out but here's a different way to look at it failure is actually a step stepping stone not a stumbling block it's a part of the process of moving forward not backward when you try something and it doesn't work out it's natural to feel disappointed but within that disappointment lies a gold mine of information every failure is a lesson in Disguise it shows you what doesn't work nudging you to try different approaches it's like a scientist experimenting in a lab each failed experiment is a clue to what might work next time also failure is evidence that you're pushing your limits venturing into new territory if you're not failing at anything chances are you're playing it too safe sticking to what you know you can already do but growth doesn't happen in the safe Zone it happens out there in the unknown where you're challenged and tested facing failure also builds character it teaches resilience humility and grit it's easy to feel good when everything is going smoothly but handling failure with Grace and determination that's a sign of true strength it's about getting back up dusting yourself off and giving it another go with the wisdom you've gained from the experience it's also about detaching your self-worth from the outcome just because something you tried didn't work out doesn't mean you're a failure it simply means you're someone who's brave enough to try to take risks and to pursue your goals knowing full well that not every attempt will be a home run so while it might sound counterintuitive failure really is the way forward it's an integral part of any meaningful journey be it personal professional or creative embracing failure as a natural and necessary part of the process opens the door to learning Innovation and ultimately success idea 8 the importance of saying no saying no can be tough It's it's a tiny word but it carries a lot of weight we often worry about disappointing others missing out or seeming rude but here's the thing saying no is crucial it's how you set boundaries protect your time and stay true to your priorities every time you say yes to something you're saying no to something else whether you realize it or not there's only so much time in a day and when you fill it up with commitments there's less room for the things that truly matter to you that's why it's important to be selective to say no to things that don't align with your values or that don't bring you Joy or fulfillment it's also about respecting your own limits you're a human not a machine you need rest you have personal interests and you have people in your life who matter saying no is a way of honoring those needs and ensuring you don't burn out and here's something else when you say no to things that aren't a good fit you're making room for better opportunities it's like decluttering your closet you have to get rid of the old ill-fitting clothes to make space for the ones that fit and feel good the same goes for your time and energy saying no also teaches others to respect your boundaries when you're clear about what you can and can't take on people learn to value your time and commitments it might be uncomfortable at first but over time it leads to healthier more respectful relationships but how do you say no without feeling guilty or causing hard feelings it's all in the delivery be clear be kind and be honest you don't have to give a long explanation a simple I'm sorry I can't commit to that right now or thank you for thinking of me but I'll have to pass is enough in the end saying no is a form of self-care it's not about being selfish or unhelpful it's about making making sure you're taking care of yourself so that you can show up fully for the things and people that truly matter it's a small word but it's a powerful tool for creating a life that feels good and right for you idea 9 the rejection of the honic treadmill the honic treadmill is a term that describes how we get used to changes in our life especially when it comes to the things that make us happy it's like running on a treadmill trying to reach happiness you get a burst of Joy from something new like a raise or a new car but soon enough you're back to wanting more it's a NeverEnding cycle this treadmill is a tricky thing because it tricks us into thinking that the next big thing the next achievement or purchase will make us happy but once we get it the excitement Fades and we're on the hunt again it's like chasing a carrot on a stick you never quite catch it Breaking Free from this cycle means shifting your focus instead of constant stantly seeking more more money more stuff more accolades it's about appreciating what you have it's finding joy in the small things and recognizing that happiness isn't about having the best of everything but making the best of everything you have it's also about understanding that happiness isn't a destination it's not something you achieve or acquire it's a way of being a series of moments and choices it's about the quality of your relationships the passs you pursue and the way you engage with the world around you another part of rejecting the honic treadmill is understanding that happiness isn't constant life has its ups and downs accepting that sadness frustration and disappointment are also part of the human experience is important they're not things to avoid at all costs their emotions that can teach you help you grow and make the Happy Times feel even more precious so instead of constantly running towards the next big thing it's about stepping off the treadmill it's about slowing down being present and finding contentment in the life you're living right now it's not always easy but it's a more sustainable path to a fulfilling life idea 10 death as motivation for living death isn't the most comfortable topic it's something we often avoid thinking about but it's also one of the few certainties in life here's a Twist the awareness of death can actually serve as a powerful motivation for living more fully knowing that our time is limited can light a fire under us it can push us to evaluate what's truly important and spur us into action it's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day in the small worries and the trivial stuff but when you zoom out and think about the bigger picture a lot of that stuff doesn't seem so important anymore thinking about death can sharpen your focus on your values and what you want to leave behind it can make you ask yourself what do I want to be remembered for or what impact do I want to have these aren't morbid questions they're clarifying ones they can guide your decisions and help you live in alignment with your deepest values it also puts a spotlight on the present moment knowing that our time is finite can encourage us to live more fully in the here and now to appreciate the people we love while they're still here and to not put off the things that matter most to us and it's not about living with a constant sense of urgency or fear it's about living with intention it's knowing that each day is a gift and choosing to use it in a way that feels meaningful to you so while death might seem like a dark topic it has the potential to be a profound motivator it can Inspire us to lead richer more purposeful lives and to focus on what truly matters it's a reminder that our time is limited but it's also a call to make the most of the time we have idea 11 disentangling fault from responsibility disentangling fault from responsibility is about understanding the difference between the two and knowing what you can control fault is about who's to blame for a situation responsibility on the other hand is about taking charge of a situation regardless of who caused it Imagine This a storm damages your house it's not your fault you didn't cause the storm but it's your responsibility to fix the damage you could spend your time blaming the weather but it won't change anything taking responsibility means taking action to improve your situation this idea applies to life too bad things happen often out of the blue it's not always fair and it's not always your fault but you have a choice in how you respond you can either get stuck in blaming others or circumstances or you can take responsibility for how you move forward taking responsibility is empowering it puts you in the driver's seat of your life it's not about taking the blame it's about taking control it's recognizing that while you can't control what happens to you you can control how you react and what you do next sometimes this might mean solving the problem other times it might mean seeking help or making peace with a situation what matters is that you're actively engaging with your life not just letting things happen to you it's a tough but liberating shift it's about saying okay this is where I am now what can I do about it it's a move from a passive to an active stance in life it's about owning your power to shape your path regardless of the hand you've been dealt idea 12 the importance of commitment commitment might sound like a heavy word but it's actually about Freedom when you commit to something you're making a choice to focus your energy and time on what matters most to you it's about saying no to a thousand other possibilities and saying yes to One path one relationship one goal here's the deal when you're not committed you're scattered you're a little bit here a little bit there but not all in anywhere it's like trying to catch all the rabbits at once you end up catching none commitment is the opposite it's choosing your rabbit and chasing it with all you've got committing isn't easy it means making tough decisions it means sometimes giving up good opportunities for the sake of a great one it means sticking with something even when the initial excitement Fades and you're left with the hard work but that's where the magic happens that's where growth and success lie when you commit you give yourself a chance to get really good at something to build something meaningful to create deep connections whether it's a career a craft an idea or a relationship commitment lets you dive deep it lets you get past the surface and explore the rich depths beneath it's also about trust trusting yourself to make a choice and stick with it trusting the process and trusting that the rewards of staying the course are worth the effort so commitment isn't about limit in yourself it's about giving yourself the space to thrive in one area to nurture something and watch it grow it's a key ingredient in a fulfilling life providing Direction purpose and a sense of accomplishment it's about making the most of your time and talents by directing them where they'll make the biggest impact idea 13 the do something principle the do something principle is about breaking the cycle of waiting for the perfect moment or feeling to take action it's a simple yet powerful idea don't wait until you feel motivated to do something do something to get motivated often we get stuck thinking we need to feel inspired or confident before we start a task or pursue a goal but waiting for the right feeling can lead to a lot of waiting and not much doing the do something principle flips this on its head it says start doing and the feelings will follow taking even a small step can Kickstart a chain reaction action leads to inspiration which leads to more action it's like pushing a car the hardest part is getting it moving but once it's rolling it takes less effort to keep it going this principle applies to everything from cleaning your house to working on a big project don't feel like doing the dishes just start with one often once you've started it's easier to keep going and finish the job it's also about momentum every little action adds up each thing you do Builds on the last and moves you closer to your goal it's the difference between dreaming about writing a book and sitting down to write a page each day so the do something principle is about taking charge and creating your own motivation it's about action as a remedy for stagnation it's about not waiting for the perfect moment because that moment is now idea 14 rejection of entitlement rejection of entitlement is about getting rid of the idea that you deserve something just because you are who you are it's a mindset that says success love and respect aren't given they're earned when you feel entitled you're waiting for the world to give you what you think you're owed it's like sitting with an empty plate expecting it to fill with food without cooking a meal this way of thinking doesn't get you very far it breeds disappointment and bitterness when things don't go your way turning away from entitlement means rolling up your sleeves and getting to work it's about understanding that if you want something you have to go out and make it happen it's about effort and action it's also about humility it's recognizing that you're not the center of the universe that everyone has struggles and that the world doesn't owe you anything this doesn't mean you're not important or valuable it just means that your worth isn't based on what you have or get but on what you do and how you treat others rejecting entitlement brings a sense of empowerment it puts you in the driver's seat it's acknowledging that your life is your responsibility and that you have the power to shape it through your choices and actions so this idea is a call to drop the waiting game it's a nudge to stop looking for handouts and start building the life you want want it's about earning your stripes and finding pride in the work you put into your dreams idea 15 the importance of boundaries the importance of boundaries is about knowing where you end and others begin it's like having a fence around your house it shows where your property starts and ends boundaries in life are just like that fence they show what you're okay with and what you're not having clear boundaries means you know what you'll accept from others and what you won't it's like having rules for how people can treat you this is important because it protects you it stops people from walking all over you and helps you keep your peace and respect boundaries aren't just about saying no they're also about saying yes to the right things they help you make space for what matters to you they're about knowing your limits and not letting anything or anyone make you feel less setting boundaries is also a way of caring for others it helps people know what you expect and how to treat you right it's like giving someone a map so they don't get lost it helps everyone know where they stand but it's not always easy setting boundaries can be tough especially if you're not used to it it might upset some people but remember if someone gets mad about your boundaries it's often because they were taking advantage of you not having any so the importance of boundaries is about respect it's about respecting yourself and teaching others to to respect you too it's about making your life yours and taking control of how you let others treat you idea 16 reframing our values reframing our values is about taking a good look at what's important to us and maybe choosing some new things to care about it's like looking through your closet and deciding which clothes you actually wear and which ones are just taking up space we all have values even if we don't think about them much they're like the rules we live by the stuff we think is important but sometimes we're holding on to values that don't help us or make us happy they might be things like wanting everyone to like us or thinking we have to be perfect reframing our values means asking ourselves are these things really worth my time and energy it's about picking values that make your life better like being honest being kind or working hard it's choosing values that make you feel good about who you are are not just what you have this isn't a one-time thing it's something you keep doing as you grow and change it's like checking your map on a long hike to make sure you're still going the right way by picking better values you're setting yourself up for real happiness you're not chasing stuff that doesn't matter instead you're living by what truly means something to you and when you do that you start to care less about the small stuff and focus more on the big picture of what makes your life worthwhile idea 17 the dangers of success the dangers of success is about the unexpected problems that can come when you get what you've been chasing after it's like finally getting to the top of a mountain only to realize it's lonely up there or it's not as exciting as you thought it would be when you work hard for Success you think it'll make everything better but sometimes it brings new challenges it can be tough to handle the pressure of staying successful you might worry about losing what you've gained or feel like you always have to top your last achievement success can also change how people treat you friends might act differently maybe even jealous or distant it can be hard to tell who's genuine and who's just hanging around because of your success another danger is getting so wrapped up in success that it's all you think about it's like being stuck in a game where the score is all that matters you forget get to enjoy the game itself you might miss out on other parts of life like spending time with family or doing things just for fun success isn't bad but it's important to remember that it's not a cure all it's just one part of life it's about finding a balance and remembering that who you are is more important than what you achieve it's about enjoying the journey not just rushing to the destination idea 18 the concept of Manson's law of avoidance Manson's law of avoidance is kind of like when you have a big pile of dirty dishes in the sink and you keep walking by pretending not to see them the longer you ignore them the worse it gets and you start to dread doing them more and more this law says that the more something scares us or makes us feel uncomfortable the more we try to avoid it but the catch is the more we avoid it the scarier and more uncomfortable it becomes it's like a snowball rolling down a hill getting bigger and scarier the longer it rolls let's say you're afraid of talking to new people the more you avoid it the bigger and scarier the idea becomes you start thinking of all the things that could go wrong and it feels easier just not to try but here's the twist when you finally face what you're avoiding it's usually not as bad as you thought it's like finally doing those dishes and realizing it only took 10 minutes and it wasn't that bad after all so this law is a reminder that avoiding stuff can make our fears grow but when we Face them we often find out they're not as scary as we made them out to be it's about not letting fear call the shots and learning that we can handle more than we think idea 19 choosing struggle choosing struggle is about realizing that life is always going to have tough Parts no matter what it's not about finding a life without problems because that's possible instead it's about picking the problems you're willing to deal with think about it like choosing a pet every pet whether it's a dog a cat or a lizard is going to need care and will sometimes be a hassle but you choose the pet whose problems you don't mind like walking a dog or cleaning a cat's litter box in life everything worth doing is going to be hard in some way if you want to be a great musician you have to practice a lot even when when you don't feel like it if you want a strong relationship you have to work through disagreements and tough times choosing struggle means asking yourself what struggles am I willing to put up with it's about knowing that the good stuff in life comes with challenges and being okay with that it's not about avoiding hard things but about choosing the hard things that matter to you it's like saying yeah this is tough but it's worth it because it's leading me to something I really want idea 20 death as an effective motivator thinking about death might sound super gloomy but it's actually a way to give yourself a kick in the pants to live better it's like when your phone's battery is dying and you suddenly stop wasting time and start doing the important stuff when you remember that life's not going to last forever it's like a wakeup call you start asking yourself am I really doing what I want with my life it makes all the small stuff seem less important like someone's mean comment or missing a bus imagine life is a big party and knowing it's going to end makes you want to dance like nobody's watching tell your friends you love them and eat that extra slice of cake it's about making the most of the time you've got so thinking about the end isn't about being scared or sad it's about lighting a fire under you to make your life what you want it to be it's a reminder to care about the stuff that really matters and to let go of the small worries it's like saying Hey this ride's not going to last forever so I might as well make it a good one idea 21 the backwards law the backwards law is a pretty wild idea it's like saying the more you chase after Something like Happiness or success the more it's going to run away from you it's like when you're super hungry and you can't open a jar of pickles the more you try to twist it open the more your hand slips and the lid just won't budge this law suggests that the best way to get what you want is to actually stop chasing it so hard it's like when you stop thinking about how to open the jar take a deep breath and then it just pops open or when you're not trying to impress someone and they suddenly find you super cool so this law is about chilling out and not being so obsessed with what you want it's about being okay with how things are right right now even if they're not perfect it's like saying hey it's cool where I am and I don't need to be so worked up about getting somewhere else when you do that you're not so stressed and funny enough things start to work out it's like life has a sense of humor when you stop caring so much it gives you what you wanted all along idea 22 the importance of context this idea is all about understanding that stuff doesn't just happen in a vacuum everything's got a setting a background and it's super important it's like watching a movie you can't just look at one scene and think you get the whole story you've got to know what happened before what the characters are all about and where they're coming from in life it's the same deal say you get cut off in traffic you might think what a jerk but what if you knew that person was rushing to the hospital that changes the whole picture right that's context it's like having the big picture it's also about understanding that different places and times can change how you should act or what you should care about like being loud and funny might be cool at a party but not so much at a library so this idea says Hey pay attention to the bigger picture it's about seeing more than just what's right in front of you it helps you make better choices and understand things in a way that's not just black and white life's got a lot of gray areas and context helps you navigate through them idea 23 pleasure versus happiness all right so there's this common mixup people have about feeling good and being truly happy they're not the same thing feeling good is like when you eat your favorite ice cream or binge watch your favorite show it's fun it's nice but it doesn't last you're chasing that quick hit of Joy that's pleasure now happiness that's the real deal it's not about those quick fixes it's about the long game it's when you feel good about your life as a whole not just one moment happiness comes from overcoming challenges from knowing you've grown as a person and from building deep meaningful stuff like relationships or skills here's the kicker sometimes what makes you truly happy doesn't feel good right away think about working out it can be tough and not fun in the moment but afterwards you feel awesome right that's because you did something good for yourself something that contributes to your happiness in the long run so when you're chasing those quick Pleasures you might be missing out on what can genuinely make you happy it's like eating candy when you're hungry it fixes the problem for a moment but it's not really nourishing you understanding the difference can help you make choices that'll lead to real happiness not just temporary pleasure it's about playing the long game and focusing on what really adds value to your life idea 24 maturity as a metric maturity it's a word we all hear a lot but what does it really mean it's not just about getting older or having responsibilities it's about how you handle life's curve balls think of it like this life's going to throw some tough stuff your way that's a given maturity is about how you respond to those situations when things don't go your way do you throw a fit blame everyone else or sulk about it or do you take a deep breath look at what happened and try to learn from it that learning and growing part that's maturity it's also about figuring out what you can actually control and what you can't there's no use getting all worked up over stuff you have zero control over it's like being mad that it's raining can't change it right mature folks focus on what they can change their own actions and attitudes maturity is also about owning your mistakes nobody's perfect we all mess up but do you make excuses or do you own it apologize if needed and try to do better next time that's the mature way to handle it and here's a big one mature people know they don't know everything they're open to learning to new ideas to changing their minds they ask questions they listen and they're not too proud to admit when they're wrong so maturity it's like this invisible yard stick measuring how you deal with life how you grow and how you treat yourself and others it's not about your age it's about your attitude idea 25 rejection of black and white thinking life isn't always black and white it's not just about good guys and bad guys successes and failures or right and wrong reality is way more colorful and complicated than that when we only see things as one way or the other we're Miss missing out on a whole lot take people for example nobody's all good or all bad we're all a mix doing our best sometimes getting it right sometimes messing up same goes for experiences that job you didn't get or the relationship that ended might feel like a total loss at first but when you look closer you'll often find valuable lessons and New Opportunities hidden inside those so-called failures by getting stuck in black and white thinking you're actually making life hard for yourself it's like putting on blinders and missing out on the full picture life's richness comes from its Shades and nuances just like a photograph it's the contrast and range of tones that give depth and Beauty it's cool to have strong beliefs and values but being too rigid can be a trap it can stop you from seeing other perspectives and learning new things being open to the Graze in life doesn't mean you're wishy-washy or that you don't stand for anything it means you're strong and confident enough to consider different viewpoints and adapt when you need to so ditch the black and white glasses and start seeing the world in full color it's not always easy but it's a lot more real and a whole lot more interesting idea 26 acceptance of imperfection all right let's talk about imperfection it's everywhere right in you in me in everything we do and that's not a bad thing it's just how life Works chasing after Perfection is like running after the wind you'll never catch it and that's okay you know when you're scrolling through your phone seeing all those perfect lives well they're not real those pictures are just snapshots tiny moments that look great but behind those moments there's a bunch of not so perfect stuff you don't see life's messy unpredictable and sometimes downright tough now think about your own life you've got flaws sure but who doesn't those flaws make you unique they tell your story when you mess up you learn you grow if you were perfect life would be pretty damn boring mistakes spice things up give you challenges to tackle and stories to tell accepting imperfection doesn't mean you give up trying to be better it means you're cool with being human you're real you know that sometimes you'll nail it and other times s you won't and that's fine it's about doing your best not being the best so cut yourself some slack laugh off the Goof UPS learn from the face plants and keep rolling because at the end of the day it's not about having a Flawless story it's about having a real one and that's a whole lot more interesting idea 27 challenging The Cult of exceptionalism there's this big idea floating around that to be worth something you've got to be extraordinary the best above everything everyone else it's like everyone's racing to be the most unique most successful most whatever and if you're not at the top well you're just not good enough but here's the thing that's a pretty rough way to live if everyone's trying to be a superstar that means most folks are going to end up feeling pretty lousy about themselves because let's face it we can't all be the richest the smartest the most famous most of us are just regular people living regular lives and and you know what that's totally fine real life isn't like a movie where every day is an epic adventure for most folks life's about smaller moments a good laugh with friends a cozy night in the satisfaction of a job well done these things might not be headline news but they're what make up a life and they're worth celebrating when you're constantly chasing this idea of being exceptional you miss out on a lot of good stuff you're always looking ahead never where you are but the real Magic's in the everyday it's in being a good friend a loving family member a helpful neighbor that stuff might not win you Awards but it makes life richer so maybe it's time to let go of this pressure to be extraordinary and just be okay with being you you've got your own mix of talents quirks and yes even flaws and that mix it's one of a kind so instead of always reaching for the Stars don't forget to enjoy the view from right where you are because that views pretty damn good too idea 28 the role of values in decision making all right let's talk about the choices we make and what's behind them you know every day you're making a bunch of choices from small stuff like what to eat for breakfast to Big life decisions but ever stop to think about what's steering these choices well it's your values the stuff you think is important think of values like a company they guide you through life pointing you in the direction of what feels right for you say you value honesty you'll probably choose to tell the truth even when it's tough or if you're all about Adventure you might pick a job that lets you travel over one that keeps you behind a desk but here's the tricky bit sometimes the values you're living by they're not really yours maybe they're ideas you picked up from other people like your family or friends or stuff you see on TV or online and if you're living by values that don't really fit who you are things can feel off you might end up in a job you don't like relationships that don't feel right or just generally feeling kind of lost that's why it's super important to get clear on what you really care about and we're talking about what you deep down think is important not what you're supposed to think is important this isn't about impressing anyone or ticking boxes it's about figuring out what makes you tick once you've got a handle on your true values decision making gets a lot simpler you've got this inner guide book to help you figure out which path to take it's like having a personal set of directions for your life and when you're making choices based on what you really care about life starts to feel a lot more meaningful you're not just going through the motions You're Building A Life That's True to you so take some time to think about what matters most to you what do you stand for what gets you fired up the answers to these questions they're like gold dust they'll help you make decisions that lead to a life that feels damn good because it's a life that's Uniquely Yours if you like this video make sure to check our app morphosis it has hundreds of videos like this one and you can watch it with the 7-Day free trial offer we have just click the button in the description and start learning today and don't forget to like this video And subscribe to our channel so you get notified when we upload free videos

Channel: BookWatch

Views: 398,089

Keywords: the subtle art of not giving af *, mark manson

Id: YZAsGCZopfk

Length: 51min 57sec (3117 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 22 2023