The Space Wolves Suck

you know I've been working on various videos about actual lore tabletop and whatnot but since I released a video about Gilman and how much I like him my Space Marine Karma has been unbalanced because I said something positive about them or well about a Primark but close enough I must now say something negative about him plus complaining if something that comes to me as easily as breathing I am a fan of Warhammer after all and we love nothing if not complaining about Warhammer additionally a couple people in the comments were wondering why I disliked the space Wolf so much which is fair everyone's tastes are different for a variety of reasons and people can like the Wolves it's an opinion as long as it's not something like supporting the britonians I can accept it but that being said allow me to make one thing very clear I do not like the Space Wolves in fact I'm reasonably sure I hate the Space Wolves and much like the horse diddlers I think it's only fair I give 40K its own X faction sucks video isn't it ignored according his demons are in both games so it applies to both settings now I'll just be complaining about 40K exclusively but before before I begin let's talk about security here's the situation for you you get an email saying that your account on an online game you play is in danger of being hacked and you gotta reset your password so you go through the steps to take care of this on the link you're given and just like that the account's gone you my friend have just been the victim of a phishing scam luckily this video is sponsored by nordvpn so I can tell you just how you can keep yourself safe from that sort of thing and more nordvpn's threat protection features can prevent this and more by detecting and warning you of malicious links and websites before you go too far down the rabbit hole as always the rest of nord's wonderful features can be worth it on their own as well what's that more threat protection features you ask well I'd be happy to tell you of 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me to [ __ ] and moan like an expert just a few things to clarify before we get going one and please do keep this in mind this is once again me giving an opinion this is my point of view on the Space Wolves that doesn't mean yours is wrong or that I personally think less of you for liking them gotta Hammer that home this being the internet and all if I specify after every sentence that I am giving you opinions this video will be obnoxious as hell to listen to so please mentally add the phrase pancreas no work is not only giving you an opinion but primarily talks out of his ass rather than his mouth after everything I say two it's mostly gonna be 40K Space Wolves not so much the Horus heresy I'm not terribly knowledgeable on the specifics of the Wolves during that time as a chapter I know the gist of what they in Lehman interrupt you during that time sure but not much beyond that are we all good on all this stuff all right sick let's go in fact since I said I don't hate them nearly as much as the protonians how about some things I actually like about them first help even things out between us Mr or Mrs hypothetical space Wolf fan one I like Lehman Russ I've got no issues with him sure he's a flawed character and kind of an [ __ ] but perfect characters are boring that's why I don't really care for sanguinius all that much aside from the red thirst and his you know slight anger issues he's too goddamn perfect but Lehman's Brash impulsive and quite the hypocrite while the same time shows genuine care for his brothers in Legion he's also pretty introspective at times appreciating some of the stuff lorgers written down and regretting what he's had to do to his fellow primarks I mean hell he even tried to talk to Magnus before he burned Prospero down and he hated everything Magna stood for once again by the way a reminder that Magnus did pretty much everything wrong two the idea of space Vikings is red I mean Vikings are cool as hell they're Vikings you see this horny bastard he's ready to kick you and ask gum and he's all out of kick and the idea of Viking super soldiers oh good God please more of that and 40K is the perfect setting to have something like space Vikings in it something so damn stupid but so cool three the idea of a chapter of Space Marines pissing off the Inquisition and whatnot is great I love the Inquisition but more so is part of the setting than any particular love for them a group of people going around blowing up planets as part of their job is wonderful for 40K and I'm glad they exist that being said that's kind of an evil thing to do even if you think it's a necessary evil and a group of astard is giving them a good kick in the balls every now and then it is pretty nice to see finally Lucas the trickster's rule that used to let him just kill a Titan if he was close enough to it when he died phenomenally funny nice warlord jackass but consider that I'm stopping time for both of us now but with that I am mostly out of nice things to say and I'm going to begin complaining let's start with the small fry some everyone can agree is dumb the constant naming of things after wolves Space Wolves and their wolf guard and wolfen and yet TTS are already made the joke but wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf wolf almost everyone hates it most everyone hates those stupid helmets they got that look like GW sanctioned furbate this is nothing new but it's always gonna be something worth bullying moving on to something substantial man they are a chapter of Mary Sue's aren't they Matt Ward's ultramarines were probably stronger than the emperor with the stuff they pulled off but the Space Wolves aren't far behind let's start off with the months of Shame like I said the idea of kicking the Inquisition and they're also Holy balls is great they shouldn't always get their way and butchering your own soldiers because they fought demons is just silly there wouldn't be Acadia left if the Imperium always did that Logan grimnar isn't a fan of this and other Imperial policies than gray Knights which surely must have affected the space Souls at least once in their 10 000 year history but I guess now is the only time they felt like arguing about it grimnar and his Wolf start blocking fire from inquisitorial shifts firing on Refugee vessels and even managed to hold themselves back from returning fire on the Inquisition when the Inquisition calls for a truce where both sides show up with their weapons powered down and the Inquisition naturally lied about this and immediately fires upon the wolves so far so good nothing Mary Sue likes so far and honestly I commend the Wolves for this [ __ ] good on them and yet after these nice points the Spaceballs can seem to do nothing but get their way when Logan arrives to the inquisitorial Flagship he not only kills a Grand Master of the gray Knights before the guy can even draw his weapon he and three of his honor guards shoot their way out of an inquisition ship that had every intention of fighting them in Escape they just take the ship and sail the merry way back to Fenris and after that it doesn't get better because when the Inquisition shows up for round two and attempts to blockade Fenris the space will show up with their Ultra massive Fleet they just have and fight them on mostly even terms more gray Knights are killed The Inquisitor and charges killed and the space Souls manage to hold their own against not only the entire Imperial Fleet that the Inquisition mustered not only a pretty respectable amount of gray Knights but an entire additional chapter of Space Marines the Inquisition called in for backup because art the Wolves just so goddamn cool it only ended when Bjorn who has an aside actually quite likes so I guess he's another thing I can tolerate about the Wolves teleported out of the ship Logan was painting a lovely shade of corn red and told everyone involved to chill the hell out and the end result of all of this was essentially Inquisition going all right we may be done but we're gonna keep an eye on you that's the end result of openly fist fighting the Inquisition not a declaration that their Heretics not another round of warfare the Inquisition going we will look into how to defeat the space souls in the future like some reading of a company's financial report of the Year piss off they should be rerouting orcords to Fenris every other day and not going you'll Rue the day you damn wolves and then leaving speaking of corn red did you know Logan has an ax with a coronate spirit inside of it he just carries it around no issues from it whatsoever even when the explicitly coordinate spirit inside of it was activated to help him Punk on Magnus the red no problems holding it did you know he can just do that no corruptive influence or anything now marnius calgar also has his gauntlets of Ultramar which are reclaimed by Gilman from chaos one day but for one those were reclaimed as in were once belonging to loyalists were captured by Traders and then returned to loyalist hands also there's no demon inside of those things another example I'm going to use is Castel and Crow he's got a demonic sword as well and that thing actively tries to escape from him the difference is the castellan crow is a gray Knight of the purifier variety gray Knights are constantly supposed to combat chaos and are chosen for those who are not only physically worthy but those who best hundreds of grueling excruciating tests to ensure that they would never fall to chaos and purifiers are those who are exceptionally appear amongst what I just described that's the kind of marine Crow is and he's just barely able to contain his demon sword meanwhile Logan's just walking around with the damn thing in the open like his flies down just waving in front of everyone's face like any halfway decent psycho isn't going to be able to sense the Pure Evil coming from the middle of his weapon given that 40K is 40k by All rights Logan grimnar should be put down like the dog he is all right let's let's go onwards I can't keep talking about a weapon for 10 minutes straight Ragnar black Mane I know I said I wouldn't keep stating how this is all my opinion because it'd get annoying but now I feel especially compelled to say that this is all my opinion because I haven't read his books most of them are by William king of godric and Felix Fame so I'm sure they're pretty good I hear he's got an [ __ ] at a plot armor in him but I can't vouch for that no what I'm here to complain about is Ragnar fighting gas coal and cutting off his goddamn head let's look at Gaz and more importantly his biggest rival in the Imperium commissary yarick the best fight Gaz has ever been given who was captured and let go solely because Gaston want to waste such a good Enemy by executing him as a prisoner the man who was probably more responsible for Armageddon not living up to its name than any of the Marines present who is loved because while yes he is a commissar at the end of the day he's just a regular old guy who went toe-to-toe with the biggest Orc in the galaxy and held his own how did GW handle this relationship between these two arch Rivals oh well they didn't handle it replace Eric Some Space Marine who gives a [ __ ] everyone like Space Marines make it a wolf too why the hell not everything is Space Marines and since it's not an ultramarine it's got to be a goddamn wolf [ __ ] right off admittedly this may not specifically be a space Wolf thing but it was the Wolves who were chosen to be the Marines to fight Gaskell instead of yerick and I'm bitched about the Wolves so it's going in here some rude priests had Visions about the Orcs doing some bad stuff to Fenris so obviously it's time to get involved in another conflict because the space holes might be going through the aftermath of Magnus the red using them like a Fleshlight but they can still afford to wage war against the single strongest Orc in the Galaxy they're the Space Wolves of course they can actually handle all of that and not just have it be empty bravado it's the Wolves sure unlike the Smurfs the Space Wolves don't have 500 entire worlds dedicated solely to backing them up but they've got this I mean they're too cool to lose how could they you know what let's talk about those Visions a bit and the Rune priests who had them if you weren't aware the Space Wolves say that their power comes not from the warp the way other psychers do but from the world Spirit of Fenris that instead of coming from chaos it comes from their Planet they love oh so very much the bunch of hippies and if I've read correctly this has been more or less confirmed to have at least some amount of truth behind it due to the Wolves belief in this being the case now the idea of something like this happening is not what I'm opposed to belief in the setting after all is an almost tangible thing and as for the hypocrisy of it I admit it would be nice to sew and punch the Wolves and the balls over using it but Lehman Russ himself did vow to have a long hard think about the Rune priests and related matters after a talk with malcador so at the very least some of the Games Workshop is self-aware enough to acknowledge the matter which I appreciate also as I was editing this video together I realized that was the third time this video that I made a joke about someone getting punched in the nuts I don't know why but during recording I had balls on the brain anyway stupid space Wolf psychers my issue comes from the fact that Fenris has its own spirit because the wolves and people of Fenris believe in it there is absolutely no way in hell there are enough wolves or federesians or whatever the hell those people are called to generate their own [ __ ] Spirit separate from the rest of the warp I don't care how full of themselves they are they just shouldn't be able to do it but there's a few thousand space wolves compared to the trillions of trillions of trillions of other beings in the Galaxy that do not give a [ __ ] about veneres the spirit of Fenris should have been drowned out in a sea of screaming psycho Souls but because the space souls are just so goddamn special They alone can bend in reality enough to create basically their own warp to draw power from and you know what maybe if their powers only worked on friends I could accept it maybe it wouldn't make me so goddamn angry to think about but no roon Priests get the spirit of a single planet empowering them wherever they go what's that Magnus you studied the war more than anyone but we're still duped in becoming a slave to chaos oh sorry about that bud you should have just believed in Prospero more I guess what a skill issue am I right fellas Magnus the red merlick Magnus the big dumb stupid idiot owned if this actually happened all the time like it does for the Wolves there would be 500 different interpretations of the god Emperor running around the Eldar Gods would still be alive because surely if the Wolves can create their own Spirit each craft world can create their own Gods again I think what really pisses me off is that people complain about the greater good warp entity because Tau Souls aren't as bright as other Souls which as a complaint in a vacuum is fair but there are billions more Tau than there are people on Fenris if the Wolves can get away with this [ __ ] there is no reason the Tau shouldn't be able to the sheer number of them compared to the space holes mean they should have no problem forming their own warp entity With The Wolves being able to do so but you know what all of this every single bit of lore here I could forgive if it weren't for one thing one single solitary thing the space wolves are not space Vikings they might look like space Vikings they might drink like space Vikings but space Vikings they are not their Viking cosplayers at best because you know what the actual Vikings did trade with other nations explore new lands and settle them even if only temporarily integrate themselves into other nations and Empires and the Space Wolves do none of that there is no space Wolf equivalent to those old Viking colonies in North America there's nothing like a space full of colony in the ghouls stars that failed to prop up or would have still been an incredibly interesting piece of Allure there's no space Wolf company settling across the Galaxy to deliver goods from Fenris or any other extreme equivalent to the Vikings History being Traders and Merchants as well as Warriors there are no expeditions to chart unknown sectors of space and what kills me the most what would have been such an incredible amazing piece of lore it would make me forgive every single thing I've said so far single-handedly is that they have no equivalent to the varangian guard for a very brief historical breakdown the varangian guard was an elite unit of the Byzantine Empire or the Roman Empire if you want to be correct about it it was primarily composed of who else but Scandinavians AKA Vikings and they were the Bodyguards of the Roman Emperor and I don't care how a good 20 of the Comets are going to be this is heresy worded slightly differently can you imagine how awesome it'd be if there was a group of Space Wolves guarding an Eldar farseer or a towel with Ariel there's so much you could do with that perhaps in a battle against chaos or the tyranids the wolves in one of the nicer xenos actions were desperate allies to survive the conflict when it was over they went their separate ways and over time this developed into a trading relationship this eventually causes something resembling the varangians to form with close ties between the chapter and the other faction where the Wolves will lend some of their Elite to watch over them or if you want to go the grimdark 40K portraying Humanity route a group of wolves see the rest of their chapter picking fights with the Inquisition as well as anyone who looks at him funny and just leaves I mean I would to hell with them I'm joining the craft world they've probably got some wine to chug while I hang around and kill the occasional tear in it but no we don't get any of this instead we have a bunch of people who superficially look like Vikings but they don't trade they don't interact with other cultures they just sit and drink and fight and win all the time because they're just so awesome they are at most the Dora the Explorer version of Vikings hell for a while they couldn't even recruit from planets other than Fenris so them being a kick-ass varangian guard rip-off had built-in lore reasons it couldn't work I'll cut it here as much as I absolutely love complaining about factions I dislike after a certain point it stops being entertaining and starts being annoying to listen to have I passed that point in this video hope not because that wouldn't be good now would it but either way I hope you can now understand why I hate the Wolves so much less hate driven content to come soon I'm pretty sure I'm out of factions that just piss me off besides I promise you all elves and dwarfs thank you to my wonderful channel members you are the plot armor and author favoritism to my Space Wolves keeping me going despite the fact that I should be in the ground by this point if you'd like to support the channel feel free to subscribe or become a member either way thank you for watching and take care out there bet you're waiting for the joke at the end huh what if I don't want to have a joke at the end of the video what if I hate the fact that it's almost standard practice and not only the movie industry but YouTube nowadays what if I just want to end the video what then you gonna cry gonna [ __ ] piss and maybe come good because there's nothing funny at the end of this video there's no goof there's no gag it's over you should have left a while ago

Channel: PancreasNoWork

Views: 347,738

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Id: 2EwlIWRbUu8

Length: 18min 4sec (1084 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 18 2023