The science of thought, behavior, and destiny: Tim Border at TEDxWeberStateUniversity

good morning everyone quick survey before we get started how many of you raise your hand if you've been distracted by something negative all right nice nice 100% all right how many of you have ever been distracted by something negative that took you away from something important all right this is significant research here how many of you have been distracted by something negative that took you away from something important every day the last 52 years I'm embarrassed to have my hand up but it's true we're fighting a battle every day this battle against negativity research at the University of Chicago finds that the negative bias of this generation is contagious and has a worldwide implication really it's kind of scary Time magazine said we're a nation of finger pointers we have gone from the American dream of striving and fulfillment to the dream of unfulfilled entitlement that's a little insulting over 500,000 people were involved in dr. Seligman's research on pessimism pessimistic people don't set goals they have worse physical health they achieve less they make less money the relationships decline divorce increases and they're depressed much more often I'm depressed reading this speaking of depression is said that we've moved from the depression the great depression to the great clinical depression people were happier when they had less money dr. sherry Carter's research states that negativity is an addiction can you believe people are jonesing over addiction I got to have it I got to have it that's kind of crazy the New York Times said the millennial generation is the entitled generation left brain research says we have conditioned our minds to store more and seek for more negative information than positive you know this epidemic this contagious trend even this addiction to negativity is not worthy of our dreams you see we're being distracted by the illusions of negativity today that take us away from what's important every day a good example of this is the news we all know what's going to be on the 10 o'clock news tonight there's going to be crime catastrophe there's going to be Wars and death is going to be on every radio station and every channel and a very headline the number one selling headline of the New York Daily News read headless woman found in topless bar that's not funny this is what we're immersing ourselves in today it's amazing to me that the headlines look at the headlines here we've got arrest we've got death we've got car crashes I went through this whole paper looking for something positive in that one thing not one thing is worthy of our dreams now we've got to be careful we've got to be careful because if we immerse ourself in this negativity is going to be addictive and if this stuff is taking us away from our dreams and our goals and those dreams and goals disappear like a cheap magic trick and those negative stories they keep coming back over and over and over worthy of our dream now come on Copperfield and Houdini would be impressed with that thank you now magician they take us away from what's real they lie to us they DC they deceive us in the name of entertainment it's all good it's fun as mystical but when the negative illusions take us away from what's important it becomes life-altering I grew up in the Chicagoland area I lived in several different states growing up as a kid I struggle with that readjustment I'd low self-esteem learning disabilities and I started hanging around the wrong group and I ended up in a residential youth program called Job Corps with 200 other young men at risk full of illusion just like myself the first week I was I was there my counselor rose she sat me down in her office and she said how are things going I said this place sucked I hate it here she goes what was it like before I said it sucked there why do you think I'm here she said okay it sucked there sucks here I'm gonna make a prediction wherever you go next it's gonna suck there - said how do you know that she leaned in and said you're gonna be there you sucked for saying that you're a counselor you should be making me feel better about my life she said I'm not trying to make you mad she said I'm just trying to help you understand the perception becomes reality she handed me one of these a journal a notebook she said I want you to write down those negative things next time we we get together we're gonna talk so I went back to my dorm gentlemen please quiet down I'm about to make an entry into my diary that's not how it went I threw it into my locker like everyone else and when I saw rose again she said go get your journal and I said I'm not gonna let you read those innermost feelings and thoughts those are private she said you're not writing in it go get it so the next half hour this sucked I can't believe I'm writing in her journal this is for girls but over the next 12 months I was able to capture ideas dreams goal insights progress Rose came up to me and said she you're going to college we're gonna offer you a scholarship to Weber State University in Ogden Utah she said Tim this is an education that's going to be important in your future so I packed my journal and I headed off to Weber State my first year was developmental courses just to get caught up with everyone else but I worked hard I found a good job I met a beautiful girl who later became my wife I finished my bachelor's degree was promoted in my job accepted to graduate school started a family with three beautiful children bought a home became a partner in the business and over the next 25 years many dreams became a reality now what I'm not telling you is the challenges and the setbacks and the many many failures but even those failures became worthy of my dreams worthy of your dreams it starts with the core question is it worthy of your dreams you see that's what this journal did it was able to answer that question every day I wrote my dreams down my goals down Dominican University has empirical evidence that says that if you write your goals down you have a better chance of reaching it I know this to be true not because of Richard because I filled out two pages of goals and dreams that have all become realities I was able to capture insight and information all successful people immerse themselves in reading and questions education networks ran mastermind groups associations they've committed themselves to continuous learning and they'll inherit the future but one of the greatest things this journal did for me was it was able to capture incremental progress it's a progressive realization knowing that I did something today worthy of my dreams a little further today than I was yesterday a little further tomorrow than I am today these three these three things that the journal was able to to capture answer the question is it worthy of your dreams the hero's journey is never complete until they give back what they've been given and today I have the privilege to teach at Weber State University I've assigned literally thousands of assignments and projects to students requiring them to set goals specific and measurable to go out and find information research create ideas and research and record their efforts daily in these journals so they can see their progress not one of these projects have ever come back unsuccessful one of those students was Chantal Richardson she came to my office one day and knocked on the door and I was at my computer and she said mr. border can I talk to you I said sure she says I'm going to have to quit your class well I spun around and said have to you're going to you want to but have to lecture 23 from a professor and she says I have cancer and I start my chemo this week well I was embarrassed I could only say I'm sorry and over the next half hour we talked about what was going on in her life I looked in the grade book she was getting high A's passing all the exams doing great on the assignments I said Chantelle you do not have to quit my class you've got an a your next assignments before you right now I just want you to check in from time to time the next time I saw Chantelle in my office she had a book by dr. Deepak Chopra who's done a lot of research on cancer she had her finger and held in a spot in the book she said read this it was about a roller coaster ride two people in that front car going down the big hill ones arms in the air yeah I love this this is exciting and the other one white knuckling on the bar know we're all gonna die it's the exact same stimulus ones creating white blood cells on the other destroying Chantel said I have to find a way to have fun at this the next time I saw her she had another book by dr. Norman Cousins who overcame cancer with attitude and nutrition and I saw her plan the last time I saw her in my office she brought another book with her this one was called whatever it takes a journey into the heart of human achievement she said I want you to have this inside it said dear mr. border we cannot tell what may happen to us in this strange medley of life but we can decide what happens in us how we take it what we do with it and that's what really counts in the end thanks for helping me win this battle I looked up at Chantal she had a tear in her eye and I said what's going on and she said they can't find the cancer I'm in remission you see Chantal didn't let the illusions of her situation take her away from her dream she completed her degree she went on to become a DJ at a radio station I had the chance to see her at her wedding she looked beautiful in her wedding dress and married her sweetheart she started a family she became an entrepreneur she went on to run in the San Diego marathon for cancer you see Chantal never stopped living worthy of your dreams another one of my students was Damian Lillard drafted number four in the 2012 NBA draft invited to the the all-star break where he won the skills competition the best of the best and was awarded the Rookie of the Year honors this year he was voted in as an all-star again repeated the skills competition champion and he continues to set records worthy of his dreams but when he was a student in my class I remember he was on his phone one day I went back and I said what what's going on and he says I'm taking notes all of his notes were on his phone and many times he was gone on games and sometimes weeks at a time and and he would always come back never entitled never asking for exception always working hard sometimes we'd work on the weekends and we're in my office and working on projects in presentation but this is what kind of a student he was just as important as his basketball he broke his foot his sophomore year he was sidelined but I watched his character rise he learned more about basketball in the year he couldn't get on the court than most people do in a lifetime he came back with extreme amounts of effort and became even stronger the next year but the critics were there all his skills won't transfer you know he hasn't been tested he's coming from a small school who be looked over but he proved him wrong he broke through the illusions he knew what he wanted he was coachable he learned how to get there but more importantly he did he did things every day worthy of his dreams something measurable every day it's not just these two stories it's your story it's your story it's your battle against the illusions that are taking you away from what's important what are you doing to answer that question the core question is it worthy of my dreams do you write your goals down and put them on your mirror are you a member of a mastermind group are you enrolled in school are you reading a book do you write in a journal I have a 30 day challenge it's going to cost you a dollar but it's a money-back guarantee for the next 30 days I want you to start your entry with what I did today worthy of my dreams and I don't care what the dream is it could be financial it could be your health it could be your spirituality it could be your relationships I don't care what the dream is for 30 days what I did today worthy of my dream and here's my promise at the end of the 30 days you will have accelerated the speed in which that dream becomes a reality now my friends go and expose the illusions that are distracting you away from what's important and create the magic by doing something today worthy of your dreams before I sit down I'd like to introduce you to a friend Chantal would you come up here ladies and gentlemen my friend Chantal still living worthy of her dreams

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 161,510

Rating: 4.8278866 out of 5

Keywords: ted x, tedx, ted, ted talks, Behavior (Field Of Study), tedx talks, TEDx, Social Change, United States Of America (Country), TEDxWeberStateUniversity, Science of Thought, English, tedx talk, Destiny (Idea), ted talk

Id: VncYSzkrAlk

Length: 14min 59sec (899 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 27 2014