THE REAL REASON BLACK WOMEN AREN’T ALLOWED TO BE INTROVERTED ! | LET'S TALK ABOUT IT BABY

whoever said black girls are not allowed to be introverts was not lying what is it about an introverted black woman in the workplace that disturbs y'all so much how about being tone police even when silent my silence also is an attitude why is it that black women aren't allowed to be introverted at work we not allowed to just sit back and be cute and be cool we got to always want to tell our business and Kiki and haha and perform for y'all black women on Tik Tok are upset because they are being frowned upon at their place of work for being introverted why is it that black women are expected to always be loud and ghetto well let's talk about it baby let's talk about it it's your girl Taylor Patrice and welcome to another episode of let's talk about it baby let's talk about it a place where we talk about the Foolery that goes on on the www that's right the worldwide web and today we have a lot to un pack here recently every time I get on Tik Tok I see a new video of a black woman talking about her experiences of being an introvert and as I listen to the video I think yes baby because I can relate now you're probably wondering like well how the hell can you relate Taylor you're not shy and you're right because I'm not necessarily shy however depending on the setting your girl can be kind of LAX and often that chill girl that gets mistaken as an introvert and being that I'm a woman of a darker complexion that can be mistaken as annoyed or mean and that's why we're here today to discuss why aren't black women allowed to be introverted how many of you watching this video right now get comments like oh when I first met you I thought that you were going to be mean or why do you look like that or my favorite that my mom used to tell me all the time was fix your face you're too pretty to look like that and I remember when she would tell me that [ __ ] I would sit and think like damn am I really frowning because in my head I look like this but she was making it seem like I look like this black women all over the world agree that the experience of being an introverted black woman is a pretty horrible one and I wanted to know where this way of thinking came from so I did a little research I think that the first question that comes to mind is why are black women expected to be so loud and ghetto all the damn time now obviously there are many reasons as to why this is the way it is but I believe that the main reason is because how black women are portrayed in media black women are often portrayed as very loud ghetto and over opinionated when it comes to Media the angry black woman is basically used as a template to represent all black women there are three stereotypes of black women that are portrayed in media the Miami The Jezebel and the sapphire the mmy is usually a maid but someone who is taking care of the family she is asexual and typically doesn't have a life of her own she is placed there to put away her own goals and desires for white families The Jezebel is typically over sexualized her only power is in her body and in the influence that she has over men and the saire is probably the most common one that we see today typically the strong black woman that emasculates her husband or any man she's around the angry black woman so when you go against the grain of what media is portraying all the damn time it makes people lift their eyebrow at you and not in a positive way the stereotypes that I mentioned go all the way back I'm talking back when film was black and white but one stereotype that they did not mention is the sassy black grow this black woman typically is the best friend of a white main character she plays the sassy black girl that always has her white besties back and doesn't take [ __ ] from anyone now growing up watching things like this I didn't really look that deep into it but for me personally I also wasn't raising myself my family did not rely on TV and media to raise me so for those who are raised by television or to the white people that didn't grow up around black people this was their only depiction of a black woman now do you see how that could be a problem although do believe that a lot of Hollywood has a hidden agenda when it comes to how they portray black women I also believe that the Tyler Perry's and the Martin lawrences of the world didn't necessarily have ill intent when it came to them creating their shows and movies I think that they were just following the trend and doing what worked you know doing anything for clout he doing anything for clout a and I'm not even gonna lie the black community was eating that [ __ ] up including your girl but that [ __ ] backfired on our asses espe especially black women what was once funny or inspirational in Black film it's now feeding into a stereotype that not only makes white people look at black women in a negative light but also black men look at black women in a negative light in my opinion the many black movies and shows that we all love and many of black men dressing up as black women being loud ghetto and ranchy actually does black women more harm than good and our expecting black women's daytoday experiences I got to tell yall what happened to me at work today but before I tell y'all I have a question what is it about an introverted black woman in the workplace that disturbs y'all so much and when I say y'all I mean some of y'all white people now I said some not all so if it don't apply Let it Fly and if you feel like being slick go and leave a comment cuz I have time today I understand that black women we have a a stereotype and a narrative about ourselves in the workplace that we're very loud we gossa we like to be in people's business I get that but that does not pertain to to everybody and it doesn't pertain to me I learned my lesson a long time ago I don't fraize with people that I work with so there's never a time or a place that you're going to hear me say hey let's hang out let's be friends let's exchange numbers I don't care about your grandkids your kids what you had got going this weekend what you throwing on that Grill that's not my business and I have no plans on sharing my life with you I'm just going to be honest it's hello goodbye good afternoon I'm probably not even going to ask you how you're doing cuz that's not my business but anyway my manager approached me today she said jise can I talk to you for me yeah what's up well some of your co-workers seem to think that you're a racist because you're you're not friendly to them at work and you don't talk to them at work my only response was okay cuz I don't give a [ __ ] the first thing y'all going to do y'all going to use that white privilege y'all use y White Privilege the minute that y'all had a chance to because I don't want to be y friend black women can't win for losing even when we quiet we still bothering y'all and y'all wonder why we don't deal with y'all in the workplace it's the way you act it's the way you act leave us the hell alone go to work do your job go home all right don't worry about why no nobody want to be your [ __ ] friend Becky we don't have anything in common and even if we did I don't trust y'all and that's exactly why go get up out my face I'm sick of y'all we can't win black women cannot win how about being tone policed even when silent my silence also is an attitude bro I cannot even tell y'all how many times I got this from so many supervisors especially while I was in grad school like oh Shonda you're you're too quiet you're not uh engaging with the other students you're not talkative enough like what do y'all want me to do freestyle I'm not about to sit here and talk when I have nothing to say but then I was reading an article about this and it made so much sense it's called black women aren't allowed to be introverted I need y'all to look this up the author's name is Sequoia Holmes but listen to this one part she said as a self-identified introverted black woman navigating mostly white spaces I often find that my peers and co-workers have preconceived assumptions about who I am based on black black Womanhood when I fail to live up to the funny entertaining sassy black woman stereotype they're quick to assume my failure to entertain is because I don't like them when I tell yall everything literally can be traced back to racism why is it that black women aren't allowed to be introverted at work why is there this honestly I believe as a as a society at large we are um conditioned to only perceive black women women in a particular way in a Workforce and just in general you know and if you deviate outside of those Norms then you are seen in a in a negative way it's it's never anything nice though you know like if you're quiet then you're unfriendly or if you're confident then you can be seen as aggressive or disagreable or not a team player and you know it's not that you're sof you you you know you were not allowed to be softspoken and worthy of protection at work or just in society you know because we're just so strong you know but you can't be too strong at work you know and um you know we always you know the the code switching gets crazy you know we have to also at the same time be cognizant of how we say things and how we um respond to certain microaggressions at work you know we have to always temper our responses and it's just like it's exhausting at times you know and um I could think of a prime example of this one time I was at work and there was this um guy who came in for some Financial software that we use he was presenting presenting a new model module and um so there were a few of us assisting him and he's going down the names of the people helping him and then you know when he gets to me he goes how do you say your name and I said it's Ley now mind you there are only four letters in my name it's spelled l a capital k i i get it Le is a very unique name you know i' I've only probably only heard it once my whole life so I get it's a unque unique name and that I'm sensitive to it so I'm empathetic so he goes um is it how do you say it Lea liqua and I'm thinking like boy here we go but I said it I repeated it for him it's Ley and so he just takes a beat and then he goes would it be okay if I you know just so that I'm comfortable um is it okay if I call you Lisha and before he could even complete his I said said absolutely not and then I could just hear my co-workers like slightly snickering in the background and I'm thinking to myself like really now mind you I'm new so it's not really like much I could say like I really wanted to let him know just on the spot how disrespectful that is but I was like nope I'm going keep it cool play it sweet a short and sweet it's look key I'm not here to suit your Comforts like changing my name like you just met me what are you talking about even I couldn't believe it so but it's just like situations like that like you have to temper yourself cuz you really wanted to you really want to check him hard but he was super embarrassed or whatever couldn't apologize enough and I'm thinking like so you just walk around changing people's name to suit your Comforts but of course I didn't say anything because I'm like you know I I didn't want want the smoke I didn't want the static you know we're in a box and if you jump off that box mad problems for us whoever said black girls are not allowed to be introverts was not lying we not allowed to just sit back and be cute and be cool we got to always want to tell our business and Kiki and haha and perform for y'all I'm not going to perform can we talk about black women being introverts for a minute we're not allowed to be introverts nor are we allowed to have social anxiety people within our race think that we're weird and people within other races think that we're aggressive and it's hard to make friends as well because people can be very mean when you're not like them and we often want friendships that are meaningful and not surface level there is more than one way to being a black woman and we don't all have to play this lifeof the party character so how come nobody really talks about the traumatic experience of growing up Shy growing up introverted growing up with social anxiety because every time I'm asked the question do I have any friends I do get triggered growing up I've always been really shy always had social anxiety so I never made friends like that and the friends that I did make they were the wrong ones and they always casted me aside eventually like even down to when I was in like I want to say third grade I could not make any friends and this might have been even second grade but anyways and a teacher ended up asking two girls to play with me cuz I was alone and didn't have nobody to play with and then years later in grade somebody brought that situation up and was laughing so that was a very traumatic experience for me for somebody to pick at me for being shy and having social anxiety and not being able to make friends and so that has followed me even up to now I'm 21 my adulthood and I really don't have friends like that and sometimes I do get down and like sad about it because as I'm getting older there comes these events such as baby showers and weddings and stuff and I won't have friends for neither like I already know when I get married I'm just going to have a private destination wedding and it's just sad because I'm going to miss out on those fun cute life experiences with other people but other than that like the other day I realized I really am my best friend like I'm here for me 24/7 I pick myself up I support me in every way possible even down to my platform on here but every now and then I do get sad and I think about all the stuff that I'm really going to miss out on eventually skin black girls can't be introverted in peace because people swear you a suck a [ __ ] that think she better than because this is actually a valid take when you happen to be dark skinn and quiet people that associate you with being stuck up rude a subconsciously playing into stereotypes that black women have to be loud and actually have to be social and shatty Lally there is this expectation that because you are a black woman you are supposed to be somewhat loud or even obnoxious and because you don't cater to that expectation you being quiet or introverted is somewhat associated with you being rude or judgmental and stuck up because you don't acquire to the regular stereotype it's interesting because despite diversity extending onto physical appearances there still seems seems to be its limitation when it comes to the Personal Expressions of others mentally and that includes people's personalities all because you were black and you are quiet or at least don't tend to be the most socially outgoing it doesn't mean that you are stuck up and people that promote this perspective and inherently displaying stereotypical mentalities towards black people so next time you see that little black girl in her own little corner her own little chair try not to automatically put her in a box and assume she's being rude or a stuck up [ __ ] because maybe just maybe baby girl is just an introvert that's trying to read the room so that's all I had for this video I know it was a little short video but it was something slight let me know if y'all like it I would love to know what your experiences so make sure that you put it in the comments down below and don't forget to subscribe girl because we always have a lot to unpack here

Channel: Taylor Patrice

Views: 3,422

Keywords: BLACK GIRL INTROVERT, black women, introversion, sterotypebreakers, introverts, black women in media, the jezabel, the saphire, the mammy

Id: 2a98JFk2Uug

Length: 15min 54sec (954 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 03 2024