The Perfume of "I" (Excerpt)

so I saw that there is no I in this there's movement it's like a little um Dust Tornado it kind of goes and the cool part for me was that I wasn't terrified when I saw it I was actually immensely relieved good yes yes it is a huge relief yes the only thing that gets terrified is if there's some still some little piece of eye that hasn't been seen through the only thing that could get terrified by no eye is a is is a me right if you really see all the way through it there's no Terror because there's nothing there to be terrified right and it I mean I just started laughing I wanted to jump out of the I mean it was it was awesome yes and but and then so then the next thing is well what am I and the most amazing sensation of falling and a very very um not uncomfortable but unfamiliar sensation basically and so okay great um so but I saw but I didn't realize so then you know time moves on and I'm trying to maintain the perspective I'm trying to hold on to it and okay I saw that and I was like okay forget it and then you know I'm identified with my idea of myself so okay now I I'm just fascinatedly looking at that and I mean I guess my first question is well Dorothy hunt asked me a while ago do you if you look inside is there a sense of I yes and there was even in that moment so I get confused when oh I get it when I hear no self yes there's no there's no I in the Dust Tornado but is there a self you just said the self and so then I I'm not sure where to look well where to look look in your experience that's it's all there okay it's all there everything you're asking is actually there when you really really look so if you stay with your experience okay you've actually already told me the answer now you may not know that's why I'm gonna tell you tell it to you back so you realize what you know because you're knowing it Without Really totally knowing it yet is there can be there's a rudimentary sense of self okay now that rudimentary sense of self is what we think because there seems to be one there's a sense of self there must be one that's what starts the whole thing right so there's a sense of self but that doesn't mean there is a self you see we think if there's a sense and there must be one but it's not really true have you ever worn perfume yeah some floral scent somebody who did some if somebody would maybe come up to you and go well where is all the flowers smells lovely and you go well there aren't any flowers it's just perfume there's a sense of flowers here I sprayed it's like that there can be a rudimentary sense of self it's sort of an operational necessity okay so if you didn't have it you wouldn't respond to your to your name would you no or Buddha wouldn't you know when someone said hey Buddha he would it just keep walking like you know I mean literally and I I mean it's it is kind of funny but there is a biological necessity of having some sense of self you know about one one millionth of what most people walk around with but some sense of self so that when someone calls your name you turn around when you're hungry you know where to put the food but then there's what is the experience or like can you find one no uh-huh but there is awareness and there's a yes groundedness thing yes but do we do we name it is there a point or is there do we just sense it you can name it anything it if you really realize it doesn't matter what you name it no well I guess you know because obviously my um little self-experiences is still kind of dominating the whole thing when I sit I want to look where that is not uh-huh and so everywhere is where it's not even where it where it seems to be it's not okay I mean either it is or it isn't right it seems to be but it's not but it's so loud you know what I'm saying right of course I know what you're saying yes so oftentimes it even gets louder for some people when they've seen through it and this is true for a while because then there's this this sort of rebound effect equal and opposite you know as free and open as you were for a moment or for a day or a week there can be a rebound yeah right because if you see it's like sometimes when you when when reality opens up to you the ones the belief in self is sort of overwhelmed pushed to the side it's like you're walking out at night with a flashlight and all of a sudden the sun turns on right you don't see your flashlight anymore yeah it doesn't necessarily mean that your flashlight has been turned off so when the Sun goes down you'll be left with your flashlight or the sun could turn on and your flashlight could turn off and fall out of your hand and then when the sun went down it wouldn't matter would it Okay so so there there's two these aren't different but they're sort of qualitatively different when reality opens up it can either totally overwhelm self the idea the belief in itself let's put it that way to such an extent that it's seen there isn't any self there can also be reality opening up and the belief in self isn't simply overwhelmed it's rendered non-existent so 99 of the time it's actually overwhelmed temporarily and it's still just a sense and you still see something you still see the truth of it right but then there's this sort of rebound that little thing kind of comes back the belief itself comes back and it has a rebound effect because what you saw which was so freeing from the standpoint of reality is Liberation isn't it yes how does it look from the standpoint of self I guess not so good scary yeah yeah it's like himself starts to clamor I'm you know it gets very busy and the mind just sort of sometimes races doesn't it yeah very very loud like desperately throwing yes 10 things that happened to me when I was 10 in my face and yes yeah desperate yeah yeah so just okay I mean what is there to do really I mean I understand you let it you just let it happen yeah that's literally just let it happen and so my question really is you know I see now what can I do to hang on to that and I can't you can't and because the thing that's trying to hold on to it is just an idea it's a psychological self is a psychological it exists as a psychological phenomena but it's not a real thing do you see and I just keep saying then what is real the only question I still come to it's a perfect question I have no idea what you just you you you've had some glimpse of what's real Beyond you'd have some Glimpse Beyond self yeah okay now the psychological phenomena of self is come back and now it's energized because of the very because you've seen Beyond it because there's been a scene of Beyond it so it gets energized and it sort of is in a panic and her mind gets very busy and and then it starts and it also gets very spiritualized so the cell the little me will say how do I get back to where I was but it's not true because it wasn't there how do I hold on to something yeah but you see you're a psychological phenomena so you can't actually hold on to anything you've been trying it your whole life and you haven't actually done a very good job of it you see so it's very tricky all the forms the self will take from crazy thinking or just whirling thinking to all the way up to a very sort of sophisticated spiritual self that's really trying to do the right thing and get this get this just right it's very meaningful it's very very meaningful right yeah as well as when you've seen had some glimpse of reality it also takes away a lot of your capacity to um to remain in any kind of denial this is a part of it that people don't don't expect is it's sort of like you not only it's like rip ripping through the fabric of Illusion but what you're also doing is sort of mortally wounding your capacity to stuff anything down so most people have stuffed a tremendous amount of psychological material down their whole life right and that gets ripped too and that often for a lot of people starts to spontaneously just start to come come up and out which is really ultimately in the end what it needs to do anyway

Channel: Adyashanti

Views: 13,047

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Id: Ftc-VDdVRso

Length: 11min 6sec (666 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 07 2023