The MovieBob MASSACRE: A Rant

movie Bob movie Bob movie Bob movie Bob what can you say about Bob shipment that isn't preceded by the phrase I can't believe I actually used to watch well I'd love to imagine a land of milk and honey where movie Bob was given his waddling orders simply because the escapist the long last wised up to his self-evident dearth of talent it's just as likely The Escapist needed to drop some deadweight and simply went for the largest object within reach remind you this was after his parody of me and for seven months I ignored it the logic behind which was fairly straightforward it was bad like movie Bob's taste in anime bad and it also rather conveniently came at a time when movie bob was publicly pissing and whining about his lack of popularity on YouTube presumably an instinctive preparation for his eventual excommunication from the only site where for one fleeting moment he may have actually bordered on relevance so why the sudden response you asked won't because movie Bob just couldn't disengage his [ __ ] temporomandibular joint for any longer than five [ __ ] minutes he kept running his mouth perhaps his only expressly articulated criticism of myself was directed at my utter ironic appreciation for the likes of the films of Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson over here the implication being that such fare is only viable when paired with a supertanker of shoegazing hipster cab to be meritorious he implies they must first be self-aware and boast something resembling acting chops slick if you're honey-glazed acting on the GAMEOVER either as any indication the only chops you're interested in or accompanied by a pork prix fixe irony is the enemy of good action films it's a reason we can't have a straight-up bloodbath like shoot-'em-up her hobo with a shotgun without the actors firing off more winks and nods and winning room of a [ __ ] methadone clinic [ __ ] your winks [ __ ] your nods in [ __ ] modern action movies and movie and movie Bob criticizing others for of all things lacking self-awareness you have the credibility of a cab driver in a neck brace let me remind you all that this is the same nasally landmass that two years back delivered an impassioned nutritional exhortation to gamers on the subject of fitness without once making reference to his own hit a treadmill box bike elliptical wait do it up heck is there a beach lake or pool in your area go there this doesn't stop it in the po-boys they're gonna have to film his funeral the IMAX format and he's fired off cardiac health predicts I think the only thing I truly objected to in your Pie Face parody was my being embodied by the anti thinker and that really boils it all down fairly effectively doesn't it no one could ever merely be wrong or even just a good old-fashioned idiot and movie Bob's Brian a bellicose [ __ ] they have to first be conveniently corralled and it's um pejorative socio-political phylum for ease of dismissal you don't address let alone disprove individual arguments because doing so would implicitly entail the acknowledgment of your opponent's basic humanity and right to have their own [ __ ] opinion so sargon of akkad has to be a couple rungs below timothy mcveigh on the ladder of right-wing lunacy girl rights what has to be a self-hating traitor to a gender and i have to be the very same brain a pop collared heineken swilling troglodyte that i've been considerably more vociferous consistent and articulate into crying since the inception of my [ __ ] show than you have i don't even read games journalism if i can help it i mean i might like to maybe three games a year and they usually don't change them all that much I don't want the thirteenth khaki cargo shorts Brigade crying or tearing their tiny white undershirts in dismay when they watch this review leaving me threatening emails or regaling me with aggressive use of the word bro like I must have missed the meeting where archetypal dude bro stir of Quinto syllabic verbiage and extol the excellence the first-person PC exclusive stealth Sims clearly I wasn't invited to theif the dark project Knight of the pop collar collective what the [ __ ] frat parties were you getting atomic wedgie at their movie slob you know unless of course it's my style address that's proving me impassable inch high hurdle in which case I sincerely apologize that not all of us dawn hot pink full-body ass flab jammies to throw Adobe After Effects an imaginary obese ninjas while every threat of polyester so valiantly strains to contain the pasty flesh Boulder within your button-fly audibly prays for death not all of us make those kind of ready assumptions based entirely on one's fashion sense and may I suggest that if the same scrutiny were applied to your velvet of velour the words windowless van and sex offender registry would doubtless be employed not all of us feel the need to signify our having played the single most popular platformer in history with a t-shirt splayed across our heaving man titties obnoxiously proclaiming that our princess is in another castle it chuckles between the caked on pit stains of the fabric stretched thinner than your shows premise it looks like your princess is in another pastry oh but he's far too insulated from the unwashed blithering masses to deign to respond it was perfectly coherent detractor ship sequestered as he claims to be by things like work life and yes dating yeah what are shipping and handling charges from Russia like these days you know they say you are what you eat which is why I'm gonna have to ask movie Bob to stop devouring witless perpetually misinformed dogmatic [ __ ] i'm razörfist check your fire next time [ __ ] I think Trevor is the most important character ever we get it Trevor's a loose cannon a free spirit he plays by his own rules but Rockstar it is of paramount importance that as you feverishly filleted this character until he leaves a gland shaped impression on your tonsils you occasionally come up for goddamn air

Channel: undefined

Views: 322,525

Rating: 4.8040714 out of 5

Keywords: Moviebob, The Escapist (Award Nominee), RazörFist, The Rageaholic, Rant, Feminism, Anita Sarkeesian (Person), Parody

Id: e5s_XMJbWG0

Length: 5min 34sec (334 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 16 2015