The Most Important Skill to Teach Children | A Monk's Perspective

[Music] so what is the one thing we need to teach our children if i were to give one answer it would be clearly meditation they need this now more than ever and i know we can provide our kids with a lot of information we can provide them with a lot of things but to all the parents who are listening for me i would say this is the one skill this is the one tool that would be the most beneficial for them why is that the case and really then let's look at the statistics one in seven adolescent is estimated to have a mental health condition in 21 countries roughly one in five young people age 15 to 24 said they often feel depressed or have little interest in doing things suicide is the fourth leading cause of death among 15 to 19 year olds every year almost 46 000 children between the ages of 10 and 19 and their own lives about one every 11 minutes anxiety and depression accounts for 40 percent of adolescent mental health conditions so these are the recent numbers that were just released by unicef and from my clinical experience just working with so many children what i find that people struggle with and what they're lacking is really the tools and the coping skills they don't have the distress tolerance when things are happening to them outside and as challenging as the world can be especially in this environment now with covin with social media with the economy everything that is going on now the kids struggle because they don't know how to come back to their home base and the skill that they need more now than ever is the skill to regulate to regulate their mood to regulate their thinking to regulate what's happening on the inside and they need to ground themselves they need the safe space and what it comes with also paired with all of those tools is also with mindfulness these are some of the things that the kids just have not developed and from my experience is now without these skills or without these tools there are chances of struggling or developing a mental disorder increases dramatically so what happens when our children are experiencing challenges and difficulties from the environment well two things one if they were able to develop a safe space if they know how to self-regulate they can go inside and take time to calm down they can use their tools and bring their stress level down and then they know how to manage themselves and without this then is the second option and the second option when kids are faced with fear and challenges is then they will find safety outside they will find comfort and we've seen it in food in friends in relationships in substances in video games but again these are tools that the kids are then reaching for so again in fight or flight or when it comes to the issue of safety human basic need they're going to cling and they're going to grasp and they're going to go to her something and they're going to either go towards something on the outside or something on the inside and what we find is when children can go inside and have something that is more real and more sustainable that this is more effective and they can self-suit themselves the next question we need to ask is how do we get to this point and the answer is simple and it's because we have not been taught and the children have not been taught is this a good thing or a bad thing it's it's neither that's just how it is because from the different generations if we were not taught it ourselves well how then do we pass it on to our children and from my personal experience now even as a buddhist monk growing up in a buddhist family we were not taught the skill of meditation that was just something that we did not grow up with so we did not have access to that but now that this information is readily available we see the importance of it and with this information now i think it's important that we do our part and now we can put it into our daily routine and then teach our children this and let's move forward so now that we understand that we want to teach our children meditation what is the next step and the next step is then to one hopefully as the parents you can use meditation yourself so again this is not to judge your lifestyle if you meditate currently or if you do not that's okay not a problem but if you now can integrate that and practice it for yourself and be a practitioner when teaching your children these tools will be more effective and then that way you can just model it to them and when kids see the parents doing the action it has a deeper meaning than just with verbal the second step that we want to start is then educate your kids why is meditation important how can it help them and then how do we utilize it um in this time currently because we need to give especially young children some context and with that kids can be very receptive but they just need an overview so the second one is to educate them step number three is if you can now make it part of your daily habit the quality of your meditation in the beginning don't worry about it kids will struggle it's okay not you will struggle it's okay that's not a problem but if you can then find a way to make it part of your schedule make it part of your routine this can be a morning routine when you wake up and depending on the ages of your children and the time will vary so with very young children just five minutes in the morning after you brush your teeth or before breakfast or after breakfast or before they go to school make it part of your morning routine you can even do it for some people they would do it at dinner time and just reflect on the food take a few minutes to have a quiet time you can even say that or have a meditation time in the evening when you have instead of watching tv then again take five minutes ten minutes and do it as a family or even at the end of the day you can do this to wrap up your evening routine before you go to bed take time as a family do your best and if you can meditate together or even teaching your children they can meditate by themselves just five minutes 10 minutes before you go to bed and then step number four or the last tip is then now make it bigger now if you can now that it's integrated into your family routine your family schedule it's becoming more normal now then if you can join a community there are retreats that you can join even for children and family we have access to technology so you can hop on a zoom you can join your local church or monastery meet with a monk if you have access to they have meditation practitioners out there so come together and make it a habit and for my family really was before i became a monk is we drove from san diego all the way to azusa which was about a two three hour drive and once a month we made a habit where we went to meditate with the monks we went to offer food and to donate to do an act of generosity and it became part of our pattern so when you can combine all these four things together this will start to become normal for your children and it won't even be an issue with this said some people out there will still have objectives and that's okay but common ones that we hear is that i don't know meditation i don't know how to teach my children well it's okay and just like any other skill well you don't know how you don't play football so you don't know how to teach your children football you don't know how to type so you don't know how to teach your children this skill anything is okay but the point is it's still a skill and there's still people who know how to teach so get access to a teacher get access to meditation apps you have videos on youtube on facebook on zoom for children or for families that are so easy and simple so utilize this another obstacle that people will say is that i don't have time and i mentioned this in one of the other videos is this just doesn't fly especially when it comes to children because when i was working with again in the clinical setting before monk hood as a therapist when i was working with fortune 500 companies the parents or the owners of those companies they're busy and everyone's busy and i get it you have important jobs you have important duties but when your child is suffering they don't have the skill they could not regulate themselves and now they turn to unhealthy things such as substances they can't cope with their mental health they're experiencing deep depression they can't get out of bed well you know what i get you're busy but you're gonna have to make time and the parents that we get to work with time and time again even in the retreat setting the parents will have to leave their job they will have to take time off you will have to make sacrifice because we're to the end of the line so this excuse of we don't have time it's okay but you will make time so either one it's just wanna do it now or we're gonna do it later obstacle number three is that the kids just can't sit still they're too unfocused yeah sure of course in the beginning take your own self is to sit in meditation after your day of working after your day of using social media and interacting with different people and peers of course it's difficult but it's possible and it's possible because it's a skill and with every skill we can develop it and train it one of the things we talk about with meditation is like showering for the mind so the way the physical body gets dirty and then you taunt your children how to shower every day they can not go to school they can sleep on the couch all day and you will still make them shower because you understand that they need to clean the physical body it gets dirty the same thing with the mind and the mind gets dirty it collects dust it collects debris and we need to clean it so imagine from a young age you teach your children to shower good day you shower stressful day you shower challenging day you shower for the physical body now for the minds same thing because it gets dirty all the thoughts all the obstacles all the challenges that are coming through your sensory system it gets trapped in the mind so we need to clean that as well so again it's just a skill and with all skill we can develop it what you are watching now is a video of our novices at watbankun these are the young boys who are training themselves and is meditation difficult sure in the beginning however with some time these children have been able to sit for several hours each day they start the day with meditation they end the day with meditation and this helps them to self-regulate so is meditation possible for children the answer is yes so to conclude all the parents out there who are watching this i understand how much you love your children i understand that's why you work because you want to provide for them you want a better future for them and that's noble and that's wonderful and we provide our children with things with for christmas a lot of material things we try to give them the best education we want them to be financially successful we want them to have positive relationships and have a family have grandchildren and be happy and again that's all wonderful and the kids will be successful if you keep up with it enough however if they don't have the foundation of self-regulation and they crumble when things get too rough or when they're successful but yet they can't get out of bed because they're experiencing deep depression what is it for and have we really prepared them properly so for me is the best thing coming to answer the first question of this video is the one skill or the one thing that is most important that you can teach your children is the skill of meditation yes it takes time yes it might feel slow that it's taking time from them doing other things but what i find is that this is the base and with a base of meditation it will give your children a safe space that they can turn to at all times when life hits they lose their job pandemic hits their relationship falls apart and things are arising and things are changing they can go and they can access this inner space and with this inner space it comes with a confidence and everything will be okay they just take a breath and they just know it's difficult and i will be fine and as a parent what more can you ask your children are safe they can manage themselves and they're happy so again i hope this is helpful and teach your children meditation so again as always all the way from thailand i hope this is helpful and thank you for taking the time to watch and sending you all my blessings stay safe everyone tattoo [Music] you

Channel: Nick Keomahavong

Views: 27,381

Keywords: a day in the life of a monk, monk, monks, buddhist monk, life of a monk, monk life, the life of a monk, the most import skill, the most important skill for children, the most important skill to teach children, monks teaching children, monks wisdom for children, what to teaching children, buddhist monk teaching children, buddhist monk meditation, buddhist monk meditation for children, meditation for children with monks, monks and meditation, meditation with buddhist monk

Id: k3nFegI_HrI

Length: 18min 16sec (1096 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 02 2021