The Master Of Change: Spiritual Tools For Positive Self-Growth | Guru Singh X Rich Roll Podcast

so often in life when we think about change we're constantly fixated on the outcome be incremental and make those incremental goals important enough to give yourself some sense of satisfaction [Music] greetings earthlings welcome to the podcast so it's been a minute but today I am delighted to welcome the return of my friend Guru Singh longtime listeners viewers remember well this Mystic Master spiritual teacher I'm a constant student as well as a constant teacher a dear friend who has dropped many a wisdom Pearl with all of you guys over the years he's back today to Muse on the subject of growth and transformation and the delicate balance between doing and being my purpose on Earth is to do X my purpose on Earth is to do X X that's it that's it we also explore the Essential Elements of lasting change how to cultivate the inner awareness and strength needed to create a positive impact in our lives and the world around us as well as many other topics so let's spin the mandala and enjoy well it's so good to see you I can't even remember the last time you were here but it was a while ago so we're here to reprise pick up on uh where we last left off and see where it goes yeah that we always punch pause we never punch end yeah there's no end there's just there's just pause there's something there's something uh profound in that statement I think if you extrapolate on that idea are there any stops or only pauses there are stops that last longer than others but then they have a LinkedIn startup so it's a it's a pause with a long stop what we end up with oftentimes in our world is sometimes those pauses need to be good stops in order for us to you know make change or rearrange right extended pauses yeah that we tell our brain I've stopped I was just speaking to someone just turned he just turned 62. super successful uh he says I'm unemployed he had his own companies he sold them all he said I'm taking a year off I'd call that a stop that's a pause yeah guys like that always find their way back yeah you know but the pause is the reboot to perhaps do the deep thinking about what the best next thing is yeah because every everyone in your audience has a driving force and sometimes a good pause a good stop gets you back in touch with that driving force because the driving force when it's activated has you in to act react mode but when you actually get to settle back down into the actual driving force that's when you start to feel like oh this is what I was this is why I started what I'm doing or this is why I'm doing what I'm doing yeah it's hard to tap into that when you're just going going and on the treadmill of whatever it is that you do like in order to do that kind of deep reflection you do need to take these refractory periods I mean I think you know like a couple years ago I started taking a month off every year and those those moments of repose have been profound and not just helping me uh you know make sense of what it is that I want to do and prioritize projects Etc but you know kind of below that surface to really spend some time to think about like how I want to expend my energies what my value set is which values require which energies when Etc and and learning you know through that process to say no to when to say no and when to say yes you know which you know Downstream that has like real world you know major consequences on you know the things that I do and how I kind of tread the world and that's a privileged thing to be able to do I recognize that but it has been incredibly beneficial and that's what we need to work on as communities and as cultures and as civilizations and as Nations Etc is that we have to be able to work on achieving that collectively creating opportunities for more than just the select few to have that ability I mean look at Europe Europe pretty much guarantees a month off every year in their work cycle and so those are the kinds of opportunities that give people the ability to deep think to do the Deep dive and to have that reflective or refractive period that you've talked about and be able to get back in touch with themselves and with that there's a greater amount of Joy there's a greater amount of Happiness there's a greater amount of friendliness and when we have that then we're not running like we're running right now in the world whereby we've got Wars and disputes and skirmishes and I mean territorial disputes are crazy to be having in the 21st century there doesn't seem to be an end in sight to that kind of thing I mean I you know and and when I reflect on you know Western Society certainly uh it doesn't reflect that value set of of the European nations who value you know that kind of time off sort of situation we're in a culture in which a minute off and uh you know a you know a second of of lack of productivity is translated into uh you know a sense of unworthiness in the world which is a a very pernicious kind of uh sensibility that that pervades our culture and you know although it is perhaps Beyond reach for most people to be able to take a month off uh I do think you know that's sort of the macro version of this but there are micro versions of it I mean I know that we've talked in the past about the difference between reacting and responding right even to take a minute to be able to uh step back from a particular situation or a decision that has to be made to at least reflect momentarily upon it so that you can respond from a deeper value set or a higher level of Consciousness than to just spontaneously react and recur a pattern that you've been doing your whole life that you know always you know ends up with you in a certain place that you're trying to avoid I have two things that come up when you are saying that one is that in order for us to shift the globe Buffy Saint Marie back in the 1960s wrote a song called the universal Soldier and she was basically saying it's up to the conscripts to end Wars and skirmishes if no one was willing to fight then those that are producing the ideas of War Skirmish territorial disputes Etc would have nobody to operate their operation and the second thing is the idea of no one has the opportunity or not as many people have the opportunity to take a month off how about what you and I were discussing earlier and that is to take 15 to 20 minutes off each day and have a safe space that you go into a safe space both physically in the external and psycho emotionally in the internal and go into that safe space and get acquainted again right hi how am I doing how how am I who am I why am I and when should I be and what should I be when and start to answer those really personal questions having a daily practice is the key to micro changing so if somebody's new to that idea and they're hearing you and they think well I can maybe carve out 15 minutes but I don't know how to uh you know deploy that effectively like I can ask myself who I am I don't know that I'm going to come to an answer to that question in 15 minutes but you know what is the practicality of that type of practice for somebody who's who's you know less than immersed in the kind of ideas that speak about the people that you're talking about are the vast majority that's the norm the norm is not knowing what to do when you're given the opportunity of 15 or 20 minutes right because we've gone along for so many centuries in this get it up catch it up catch it up get it up catch it up get it up ever since we discovered the world was round right we've been building more merchandise than we can consume and trying to Market it so that we have a place for it to go and that's just really crazy making and so for centuries there's been no real moment to sit down in the field of your crop you know and wait for the plants to grow you don't have anything to do at that moment so you do what you do and that was the old agrarian society now what we have is we have the opportunity and this is what I've been working with we have the opportunity to guide people and to provide for people the ideas and the and the and the mechanisms that they can insert into their world on a daily basis it's almost like the the old paint by numbers to get an acquaintance with colors and color sharing so that then you can go on to paint by your own numbers and and start to express yourself on the canvas of life um so you're right we could take that 15 or 20 minutes but what do I do with it and so that's why people like myself like you are providing I mean take for example what should I do with it let me listen to a ritual podcast because I will get some insight some inspiration from the people that he has put together that will be something applicable to my own world or let me do a guided meditation let me let me do some breath work let me take a walk let me do these things that I can use to get back in touch with me so that's what I'm doing and that's what you're doing I think in the in the sort of self-improvement uh you know internet ecosystem of podcasts and blogs and social media accounts there's a lot of content out there around certain daily practices whether they're morning routines or things that we should do every day and all of them on in their own right are are cool beneficial things like get in a cold plunge take a cold shower take a you know go on a daily walk uh morning Pages daily journaling uh you know meditation practice some mindfulness practice here's some breath work exercises um but I also think that not that there's a downside to any of these or a dark side but I think when you're impulsed with so many options it becomes paralyzing like well I could do all of these things but I don't have three hours for my morning you know I can't do my coal plunge and do my breath work and do my meditation and do my journaling and then you know have my artist date with myself and all you know so so then people get stuck and they don't do anything right like it's it's about like finding one thing that will work for you and then developing a way to make that sustainable in your life because it's the it's the consistency or the repetition of the individual thing it almost doesn't matter which of these modalities you opt for as long as you uh you know kind of create a routine around them that works within the construct of your life so that you are actually doing it well let's take an idea everybody eats some sort of a breakfast breakfast means breaking the fast breaking the fast of night so some people say well I never eat breakfast well they eat a first meal and whether they eat it at 12 noon or two in the afternoon that first meal is them breaking their fast so it's a breakfast what if we said if you want to get in touch with you get in touch with something that everybody does everybody choose their food and what if you just became mindful when you sat down that you okay I'm chewing this food and I'm swallowing this food so that I can nourish myself and that's all it took me 30 seconds to a minute for that first bite and that's the beginning point I'm nourishing myself and in that moment you've nourished yourself physically and you've also nourished yourself psycho emotionally because you've put feeling into it you've put thought into it and your physical body is going to respond to it and so my my statement is that two people that don't know they're overwhelmed they don't know what you know which way to go how to start what to do when they start is let's just start at something that's super common that's multitasking your situation because you're going to eat anyway right so how do you how do you turn what you were going to do anyway this ordinary act into a mindfulness practice and you don't have to do it for the whole meal because you might be with other people and you're going to have to talk during the meal so yeah you know or say something or be somewhere but if you just decided that you are going to take that first bite and just be extremely mindful of that first bite that's actually what was called Grace you know okay let's all say grace you know people say a prayer before their meal what's better than a prayer of mindfulness in the beginning of a meal I remember that Bertrand Russell had something to say about uh the importance of chewing your food and so I was trying to look that up I can't find it right now chew each mouthful 50 times is that what he said yeah I just remembered something in the back of my mind from a long time ago and that's a lot yeah I tried yeah I tried that twice that's that's it's it's a lot you know it's a lot more challenging I mean it took forever to finish the meal so even if you did that uh you would entertain your your dining guests exactly we'll take it down you know from 50 take it down to 10 or 15. re and it's surprising what you get into you feel your teeth you feel your tongue you all of a sudden feel this thing it's it's not just this you know stuffing it in and pushing it down it's it's an amazing component of Life the act of taking in food and nourishment yeah which by the way connects us to the gut brain you know the medical Sciences discovering the three brains and there's a lot of Neurology in the heart and in the gut and the gut brain is all about connection and nourishment not just food but also socially that you and I are connecting and nourishing each other and the people that you connect with through the gut brain are the ones that are really impactful in your life the ones that you really look forward to in life because they are so nourishing just like the food you take into the gut affecting each other's microbes hmm perfect well the the kind of overarching umbrella um for today's conversation at least in my mind kind of what I wanted to explore with you um is is perhaps a little bit more uh grounded in practicality than than some of our past more esoteric and ephemeral conversations uh in my mind like I've been spending a lot of time thinking about change positive change um I think if there's one kind of overarching theme to this podcast it is transformation like the power that we all have to transform Our Lives to make positive changes lasting positive changes in our lives um and I've hosted you know many examples of these types of people and I've experienced my own version of this and and you know I believe deeply and profoundly that that you know we all have that latent capacity within us and yet for the most part you see so many people struggling not to become enlightened or or to become a meditation Master but simply to improve their lives marginally right like we're now in it's the beginning of March we're past the sort of New Year's resolution phase of people testing out their resolutions trying failing stumbling Etc so that idea of like habit change and like how do you level up or how do you you know try to incorporate some practices into your life that are going to allow you to step into a more self-actualized or or uh or or an individual who is living their life with more Fidelity to their their value set like how do you become more idealized not in the sense of you becoming some kind of Supernatural human being but just like you know living better than you have been and I think that people trip up they get discouraged that leads to paralysis or a sense of self-disappointment or or a sense of lack of agency to make those kind of changes in their lives and so I really wanted to get your thoughts on how you think about this kind of thing I'm sure you come up against this with the people that you work with and have probably spent a lot of time thinking about this yourself in the modern times we have what is called GPS I used it to find the studio here today GPS requires two things where are you and where do you want to be and then it takes you on the road between the two which is it says best way right not only is it talking about the fastest way but it's talking about the most ecological way now and all of these things what is the best way so often in life when we think about change we're constantly fixated on the outcome we're constantly fixated on the destination if you were to drive under that condition you'd probably get in an accident because you're not paying attention to what they call the way of the way which means that you have to be present in each moment along the way trusting that the destination is ahead of you mm-hmm and so that's what we have to do each day but set up like once a month or once a quarter the lofty goal and then set up the routine [Music] that keeps you present then create the map between the two locations and then give yourself enough time to achieve an outcome for example there was someone in my life 15 years ago that was extremely difficult but very very close and they weren't going to go out of my life and it wasn't my wife so I said if she listened to the podcast it's not her and she's heard me tell this story anyway and I gave myself a 30-year plan that I was going to make this relationship an absolute locked Embrace relationship in 30 years I gave it enough time so that I wasn't going to require to be able to see the change every single day or every single week month or year we're 15 months into it I think I am further along than I imagined in my 30-year projection but what gave me that opportunity was I said I am going to change this whether it's my change or their change to be an embracing relationship in a period of time that gave it time to make the shift and so the first thing I would advise people to do is give yourself enough time so that you're not working under the hammer of urgency you use the word agency the the thing that will displace agency is urgency because with urgency you can't get back to self and if you don't get back to that self-authorizing I have the right to do this then agency is out well a couple of Reflections on that I mean in terms of timelines I've often said that we should be extending the timelines on the changes that we're trying to manifest in our lives I've said that I think we over index on on what we can do or achieve and you know short periods of time or a year but really under index or don't give enough weight or thought or intention to longer time periods what are you going to be doing in a decade because our we're not wired really to be able to cast our gaze that far forward like it becomes very difficult because what you have to do to kind of extend your point is Master small little tasks over time that are nudging you in a New Direction ever so slightly but in a way as I said earlier that they are not disrupting your life entirely because if they're too disruptive they don't become sustainable and you're set up to ultimately abandon them right so it's not about you have to you have to set that goal you have to care about you know that destination but you also have to forget about that destination and focus on like what your values are and just changing your habits to be more in alignment with that value set so that it becomes an aspect simply of how you live and that detaches you from that destination because you're in that process you are you are becoming that person that you want to be and the destination becomes less important I like that and it reminded me of something that I've used over time Sunday worship as opposed to Sunday worship Sunday worship and I've done it for decades on Sunday usually in the afternoon I'll write down the words that I want to relate to that indicate something that I want to be able to achieve in the larger picture in this week and then when the next Sunday comes along I look at those words and I see okay how many of those did I work with successfully [Music] and then I make a new list which will include some of the old list going forward this is what you use the word incremental if we can set up and a lot of people say well I don't know what my goal is I don't know what my purpose is I don't know any of this stuff okay let's make that our goal let's make the goal of I'm going to move through time covering my base and I'm going to eventually within the next one year two years three years whatever the timeline you want to make I'm going to know what is my purpose and so there you go you have a goal your goal is to find your purpose if you already know what your purpose is then your goal is to make some real movement towards your purpose but let's say you don't know what your purpose is and you're going to make some movement toward finding that purpose the incremental steps are really important and that means that if you can set up something that says I want to make it from here to here and just in this week come back the next Sunday how far did you get maybe as you said you overestimated the short term and underestimated the long term you will start to adjust here is the presence and the preference and in between is the difference most people are just Gaga over their preference not living in their presence and consequently they're falling apart in the difference but what you described was how do you be in your presence know what your preference is and just make your way through the difference remaining in your presence and how do you remain in your presence we go back to what we started with be conscious when you're eating I am eating doesn't have to be any more than that I am nourishing my body doesn't have to be anything more than that be conscious when you're talking to someone I am talking to Martha doesn't have to be anything more than that Martha is talking to me be conscious when you're having some kind of a of a get-together a gathering I am in this Gathering isn't this Gathering interesting it doesn't have to be anything more than that these are really practical ways of being in what we call you and I in this conversation presence and then give yourself the opportunity when you're alone or in a in a small like intimate setting with your you know with your family or what have you where you're starting to think about okay what are my what's my plan what's my goal what is our plan what is our goal and then you can come back to that presence and you make your way through that difference because when people live in the difference that's when they become really scattered really unhappy really unfulfilled not nourished and they're the easiest people to enslave by the powers of marketing and I'm not trying to create a boogie man here or a conspiracy I'm just talking about the way the way is in this world in other words meaning that if you're living in to use your terminal terminology the difference you're somebody who who is sort of disconnected from that higher version of yourself you don't really have a sense of where you want to go or who you want to be you're sort of in this Perpetual state of of discontentment and and Detachment I I know what that feels like hey you did as a result you become you be you become vulnerable to well if I I you see a billboard and you're like well if I get that thing then I'll feel better or if I buy that or if I if I you know if I can find this other person to like me or whatever it is you're trying to fill that hole or answer that that existential question through means that ultimately you know proved to be futile and aren't moving you in the right direction but you're grasping it you're grasping at straws because you're not you don't know any any other way you saw me kind of anxious during the last 45 seconds because I thought about an experience that you had that has really stuck with me you went to Sweden and you ran across islands and then swam a channel between islands you did this thing running and swimming right that was living in the difference when you're in the difference it's like you're constantly living in that high tension survival orientation even though you know you're not gonna die in your commotion you don't feel like you're living and we need to come out of that so you get out of the water and you sit on the beach for a while and you let your shoes dry out and you start to walk on the path this is living in the presence rather than the difference I'll tell you Extreme Sports Extreme athletes what gives them the greatest reward in my estimation from where my view is is how do you navigate the difference how do you navigate the overwhelming experience in the difference and so that should sort of cement the idea of if you're not living in your presence and you're always Gaga over your preference you're not in your preference because it's out there in front of you so you're lost in this difference in the in the crazy Raging Waters of your difference give yourself a break start to bring yourself back home yeah I would push back a little bit on on the Sweden example or the endurance sport example in that for example like when I was doing that Sweden race I knew I wasn't going to die there was an end point there was a Finish Line yeah and I as hard as it was I was pretty confident that I was going to get there and the way that you get there is being present in the circumstances in which you find yourself and knowing what the right next thing to do is but there is a directionality to it there's a linear kind of progression there where you do have comfort in knowing that you know when the day ends I my head is going to be on a pillow somewhere and this will be complete right and in the broader endurance sport context there is a sort of structure that gets overlaid like you sign up for a race and then you do a training program and you prepare and then you show up for the race and you you know you compete in the race um there's there's like you know it sits within a certain kind of box yeah and I think that that is distinct from the experience of somebody who is living their life feeling confused disaffected not fulfilled um unclear on you know whether it's their purpose or something that is getting them excited about where they're headed or what they're doing when they wake up in the morning and I think that that is a um you know to to sort of coin Thoreau like the this this this mass of men who are leading lives of quiet desperation you know like not not they don't have their North Star and they don't know um you know how to change that situation like that is an existential kind of Crisis that I think befalls many a person um and there are many tools and things to you know reflect upon that we were talking about earlier to kind of um get clarity on how to change those circumstances but I think that that makes it qualitatively different than the kind of endurance sport example well I'll do Aikido with your pushback and I'll hey it's not push back it's energy because it's not necessarily pushback it's additional information because what you brought up is extremely vital the difference between my metaphor and your pushback was that in life there's no Finish Line there's no resolve that at the end of the day I'm going to have that pillow because in the race of life what's the end of the race so if you're living in the difference day in and day out where's the end of the race that's what to use your previous word the incremental views are vital so practicality give yourself incremental measurements give yourself some form some tool that you can use that if I get to the edge of this island by tonight you know if we're going to continue the metaphor of the Swedish race if I get to this point by tonight I am going to give myself rest because that's the incremental achievement that I need to achieve my big goal I'm not going to think about it my incremental goal I'm going to focus on and so I think that one of the things that should come from this communication today for people listening or watching is be incremental and make those incremental goals important enough to give yourself some sense of satisfaction in my experience those incremental things that you make a decision to incorporate into your lot into your life also don't have to be Tethered to some kind of Greater goal like there is something to be said for doing them for no other purpose than because they are esteemable acts on behalf of the self so if you find yourself confused or not knowing where to turn to develop even a limited mindfulness or meditation practice or any other kind of creative nourishing activity ultimately sets in motion uh you know an energy field that if committed to will lead to inevitably lead to Opportunities or other doors opening or insights that will allow you to make pivots and other decisions that you might not ordinarily yes and the way it's rigged is you're not allowed to see where that's going to go like I think part of the paralysis is that we want to know what the map looks like like you you use the GPS example like we want be able to put in the destination and see the route and have it all planned out here's the efficient way here's the fastest way Etc okay now I know what I'm doing and I can execute but in life you only get to see like one step in front of you yeah and you have to have uh you have to have a certain level of self-belief and Faith to take that first step without knowing where the second step is going to fall and it is only through practice and repetition that you can develop that faith that it will guide you or lead you and that requires enough self inquiry and and internal work so that your gut brain and your instincts can guide you credibly because if you are so disassociated or disconnected from yourself and you don't know how to like you know kind of connect with yourself in an integrated way those impulses or those instincts might lead you to some bad decisions you spoke about multitasking you have to eat anyway if you're becoming mindful of the chewing and the swallowing and all of that when you're eating what about the fact that you have to perhaps Drive someplace anyway put audible on your on your phone and in order to see a little further down the road than you might see listen to people who have written books who have done things successfully start listening to inspirational books in the time that you have to do something else so that you can start to get ideas and pointers from people who have already gone through what you are going through and you will find and I'm not talking obviously to you people find I'm not alone in this and that's a very important place to experience yourself I'm not the only one that's feeling the way I'm feeling and the moment you start to feel commonality and companionship in the way that you feel that there are other people that are in the collective that are feeling this way too you start to feel a sense of assuredness because other people who have felt the very same way have made it through and so I know that even though I can only see as you said even though I can only see this far forward I know that there are people that felt the same way that I'm feeling right now that saw even further forward and that succeeded even further forward and so the one of the things that's missing in life right now is community and putting us all online and covet and all that took place hasn't done anything to increase the the sensation of community so Community to use your word is one of the valuables you use the word of values and I say well that's very closely associated with the idea of what's most valuable to me and one of the things that's most valuable to me is to know that other people have gone through what I'm going through and they've made it through and here are a few pointers of how they made it through while feeling exactly how I'm feeling at this moment yeah there's an interesting sort of paradox or or dichotomy of the digital world in which we find ourselves in that uh the more we've become attached to our screens and and kind of you know had the experiences that we all had throughout the pandemic we have found ourselves detached from Community detached from Neighbors detached from our analog relationships and yet at the same time it's never been easier to find your community online I mean you went from having this entire Studio where you taught in analog form to many people and I you know have attended that studio many times to going completely digital and online and cultivating community that way so despite the fact that we are in this weird place where we're not interacting with people in human form as much as we should be and as much as we historically have um the access that we have to not only information but to those inspirational voices or to the people with whom uh we can look to as as Avatar mentors has never been greater it's of course incumbent upon the person to seek those people out and to make that decision to you know put on Audible or a podcast when they're in the car as opposed to the radio Etc so there's a responsibility I think that comes with that but if you can muster the the courage or make the commitment to yourself to to do that the level of nourishment that you can find and experience is is boundless and that's like the amazing thing about the internet like none of these things are bad or good or black or white it's all in our relationship to them and how we decide to use them are we using them to you know suck us dry and to exploit us or are we using them as tools for self-betterment or for creativity or for connection and Community you use the word responsibility what in that word the ability to respond right what in that word for most people is because responsibility always felt like burden my responsibilities right how much am I due to support right how can a person look at responsibility in a higher sense rather than feeling like it's a burden well to reframe it as opportunity perfect like this thing is available to you yeah you just have to reach out and grab it right yeah audible costs a little bit of money but podcasts are pretty free and there's an infinite number of hours of people talking about their life experiences and I can guarantee that if you go down you know into that exploration you're going to find somebody some teacher some personal life experience that you will resonate with that you'll find helpful as a lighthouse or guidepost along along the way but yeah I mean it's really about the connotation of responsibility like responsibility doesn't have to be seen as burdensome I think the blocks or the barriers here are complicated in that of course everybody wants to you know be marginally better or you know if I could just like Master this one habit where would it lead me Etc um and and the impediments to that that most people face are not rudimentary they're they're complex in that it has to do with like the psychological blueprint of this individual and their past experiences and and uh you know the nuances of past relationships that they've had or or or possibly you know traumas that they've experienced that that you know create a framework in which this thing that might be really easy for somebody else to do becomes almost impossible for the other person to do tools you and I said before we were talking on camera that we wanted to give practical tools and I spoke about the gut brain and what you're talking about is actually in the heart brain and so a really practical tool intentional breathing if you can just sit for one minute put your hands on the navel point and inhale pushing the belly out just pushing it out like you're being funny exhale drawing the belly back in and just do this breathing through the nose inhale through the nose or mouth exhale and do it for one minute what's going to happen is that over time if you just do this for a minute a day over time you're going to start to get in touch with all of these incredible centers you've got the naval points you've got the solar plexus and you've got the heart and the heart is divided into three layers medically three layers the the bottom layer the middle layer and the top layer and so are the lungs and these layers have different functions and the bottom layer psychologists have understood psychotherapists have understood that the bottom layer of the heart is the layer of the heart which sort of produces the sensation of Hope there's a whole thing called Heart Hope right the middle layer of the heart is what's attached to will or willingness and action that's what they say you know when a person achieves something when they put their heart into it when you have action there's going to in the law of motion there's going to be reaction and then you need the top layer of the heart which is courage the French word for heart is core right so courage willingness and Hope created actively by one minute of intentional breathing engage that and all of a sudden you're going to start working with hmm maybe I could do that that's that hope right changing as you said the connotation of the word responsibility I'm going to turn responsibility into the ability to respond which gives me hope well now I've got hope and the ability to respond I'm willing to move forward oh as I've moved forward people have said you know you can't do that now I've got to engage courage right so if I can start breaking it down into its incremental pieces I can start making those Tiny Steps towards the big change little tiny pieces at a time you mentioned purpose earlier and we were taught you were talking about somebody who you know perhaps doesn't know what their purpose is and how to begin the process of kind of going on the expedition to discover what that might be and I thought I was wondering whether you are of the opinion that everybody has a singular purpose do you think that we come into the world and there is this purpose that that we're on this quest to find and once we find it it's our it's our kind of um role to to you know Express that purpose or further that purpose or are there multiple purposes and it's about living your life and finding the thing that you connect with and and trying to you know kind of further that like how do you think about that are we on a mystical path to like is there a singular thing no for each person no I look at it this way it's a journey you know there will be a purpose at some point in your journey to find the next gas station right but that's not layers of purpose exactly and that's not the overall purpose your overall purpose is you're driving from here to there and before you get to or find the next charging station if you're going electric right it's going to become a big purpose when everybody does go electric is where is the next charging station so the idea of an overall what is my purpose it's a good desire because all desires drive us forward but again I relate back to the incrementals what is my purpose my purpose today was to come here to be with you but one of the purposes was I'm going to eat breakfast before that I was going to do meditation and yoga so looking at the overall purpose is a bit grandiose and I think it's a bit of a block creator being more flexible with the idea of purpose and let it be kind of like a tennis match is my overall purpose is I want to win this match but if I'm thinking about that while I'm trying to deal with the oncoming ball I'm going to completely blow it so my purpose can be many as you said multi-layered but what is my purpose right here right now my purpose in interview things such as this is not about what am I going to say I like to get into really deeply listening and then trust that what I'm going to say is going to be in some kind of a flow with what I'm listening to and I use that as a metaphor in life when I am going to you talked about what are those what are those tiny changes that we can do well what is the moment telling me how can I move in this more what is it they say you can't you can't turn the direction of a car when it's standing still how can I just begin to move regardless of the direction so that I can be really in touch with what's going on and then I can begin to turn my direction and then as I'm turning my direction if I'm still holding on to my you know that preference my goal my plan my purpose thing kind of thing my purpose to find my purpose I'm going to be led towards that so if I was to say to you what is your purpose you don't have a singular answer my purpose on Earth is to do X my purpose on Earth is to do X because to do hacks that's it that's it it is funny and to do it to the best of my ability yes answered in in in uh in perfectly cryptic uh language so yeah there there is something really kind of interesting like to pull on these threads a little bit when you think about purpose in the macro sense to say this is my purpose there is something kind of egocentric and narcissistic about that like I have divined my purpose and I am here to do this one thing and this is what I'm doing and yet I suppose the counter argument to that is people who do feel ha they have a strong sense of of what that is it becomes a guiding principle in how they make decisions absolutely there's certainly nothing wrong with that like I think that's fantastic and that's what I call the do X right so but I don't think it's necessary that everybody has that I find that the people that do have a strong conviction around that tend to be people who are like very goal-oriented kind of spreadsheet type of people who like to layer uh a structure upon their life and that makes them feel productive and guided and all of that and I say that without judgment I I'm not one of those people but like I know plenty of people like that and that works for them that works for them but I think the bigger thread to pull here is this tension again a paradox like a tension between a kind of Eastern approach to an Eastern application to how we live our lives on a daily basis and and the kind of Western approach so to say I have a purpose or these are the principles and this is what's guiding my decisions and this is how I wake up in the morning and and decide upon you know what I'm going to say yes to and what I'm going to say no to there's a sort of Western sensibility to that it's very it's very kind of tangible goal-oriented three-dimensional Etc versus the more Eastern approach which recognizes purpose as something important as a guiding principle but also prioritizes the importance of being present like you're in the micro sense of what is my purpose like I'm here to like listen I'm here to be present it is only in presence that I can find truth or impart the best of what I have to offer like how do we balance these two energies of being goal driven and practical and and you know write down what you want to do and how are you structuring your time and Etc versus the Bertrand Russell like chew your you know each bite of food 50 times and can you just enter you know a social situation and and pay attention these are forces that are in opposition and yet also I think success or fulfillment or the things that we're seeking come through finding a way to alchemize these two energies balance them and kind of walk a Razor's Edge and how you're in relationship with these two things you said how can we alchemize these these forces my overriding purpose is to wake up is to wake up so it's not X it is X I'll get back to it I love it just as an uh just as a humorous aside my Chinese zodiac is the rooster right the rooster is what wakes the farmer up in the morning right then how come your house and your studio has everything's adorned with frogs instead of roosters because frogs represent because my eyes my big eyes I was called Hey froggy and as I was a young kid and so froggy turned into frogs and I've got hundreds of frogs everywhere so as a rooster my whole thing is to wake myself up because I know that if I wake myself up I'm going to have the best opportunity of whatever I'm trying to do in every moment then by example my purpose is to wake others up not wake them up so they can do this or wake them up so they can do that wake them up so they can do whatever they want to do but the more awake they are the better they'll do it and so my overriding purpose is to wake up my incremental purpose is to do X in an awakened state and when I say an awakened State an aware state a conscious state a parasympathetic if you want to use the nervous system state which is the system that takes the step back and looks at the whole picture before they make the move in the smaller picture and so I look at it okay I'm awake if I'm playing music I'm awake in the music and if I'm awake and the music then I'm feeling the moment and I can respond to that sensation if I'm an artist same thing if I'm a writer same thing if I'm working with children same thing if I'm awake in the moment I'm going to be listening to what is it exactly that I'm needing to fulfill this sensation of angst confusion or whatever the feeling might be that doesn't feel good there's a message in it if I'm awake I can hear that message now I'm down into the you know the quantum structure of my of my messaging and I'm able to respond I'm responsible and that makes me able to then turn in a direction that I need to turn so that the next moment is a little better than the last the next day a little better than the previous and I'm starting to grow and to shift and to change incrementally so perhaps a way to drill down on the essence of what you just had to say is in the tension between doing and being you can't properly do unless you're being and wow that's that's a quotable yeah and in order uh to know what to do you have to be but in order to be you have to do something right yeah yeah that's the whole circle isn't it that's the yin and the Young that's the conversation that if we just came in here and this is what I'm going to do to use your metaphor from the previous point I'm just gonna do this is a conversation this is the way we're going to have it we're going to run through these points and this is the outcome that's the doing but the being is what the heck is grossing going to say right in the middle of the conversation what if he throws me a curveball it's a dance it is right uh and it's one that you I think can spend your life trying to master but I think it is you know finding that balance between those two things and I think once it tips too much in one or the other directions then it can lead you astray yeah and and look really positively at the concept of a pendulum you know life is at pendulum you know it's going to swing every once in a while it's going to be out there in the in the weeds it's going to be coming back we're talking about the context of of change within oneself like how do we accomplish that how do we be what do we do how do we instill greater self-efficacy agency self-esteem how do we get on a more appropriate trajectory to guide us towards the more fulfilling purpose-driven life that's one thing on the other hand we have this idea of of instilling or or activating change in another and and you know this is the source of a tremendous amount of human suffering right like the minute we start to get involved or attached to trying to get somebody else to change or to become more like ourselves or to see the world our way is the minute that we open ourselves up up to you know unlimited amounts of of like pain and toil and you as a teacher you are a change agent you are trying to activate positive change in other people how do you think about that relationship and what do you say to the person who comes to you who says you know my partner or my child or my parent or my best friend is you know doing this thing and I'm trying to help them and they're just not seeing it and if they could only do this one thing like their problem would be solved and I'm so frustrated how do I get them to change frustration in this particular context will be felt when we're looking at their condition their position their interpretation through our eyes we have to get ourselves into a position to be able to see their projection their position their condition their interpretation through their eyes that can be achieved over time and the one thing that you want to stay clear from is frustration because frustration will shut down that observation frustration is why aren't they changing but what you're striving to achieve is why aren't they changing there's a different why the why aren't they changing is the curious actually wanting to know why they're not changing rather than why as a statement why aren't they changing that's not curiosity that's accusation and so if you can get into the curious why you can get down in there with them and literally in the course of the time that you have available with them if you get down in there with them you start looking out through the same set of eyes hearing through the same set of ears experiencing through the same body almost that's connectivity and in that connectivity which by the way is a gut brain thing you feel it through your you feel it through your Naval point in that connectivity you begin to share the experience that they're having and they begin to talk to you in a different way they almost begin to talk to you like they're talking to themselves and once they start to talk to you like they're talking to themselves you can start talking back to you to them as if you're talking from that same position and all of a sudden because they're listening to themself and it's you talking they're starting to hear you and the one thing that you have to realize is that you can only take them a tiny bit in each moment because you take many more than that they're going to go back to the subconscious mind the subconscious which is going to make them revert back to my safety is in what I was not in what I'm changing into because what I'm changing into it's completely unfamiliar to me and that feels dangerous but if you give them a sense of camaraderie in other words you're two people in the same body looking out through the same Eyes Ears Etc they feel like they've got a a team to work with family to work with and they don't feel scared even though it's unfamiliar yeah I mean what you're talking about is dropping the Judgment approaching this person from a place of of of empathy you know with a capital E like how can I truly understand this person's lived experience so that I can you know communicate with them in in on an even playing field right and acceptance where they feel safe um which is you know an aspect of of non-judgment um and I understand all of that but I think when you were talking about the why like what is the why question isn't the why question also like why do I feel like I need to change this person like why is it upsetting to me that they're not changing or why is it upsetting to me that they're who they are and they're not doing things differently or the way that I would like them to be right and is it even my business to get involved with that if there's an investment if there's an investment it's your business the investment is family yeah the investment is Associates working relationships professional or personal the investment is a caring you use the word empathy with a capital e those are the investment factors so if there is an investment and in my sense there's always an investment at some point in time because we're all living on the same planet and we all affect each other that's the nature of the fact that we're all sharing this this planet I love George Carlin's why were why was government created did you ever hear that routine uh probably about I said he said the reason that government was created because someone took a dump on the trail and somebody came back into camp and said we gotta make some rules around here and there was you know how do we make how do we make change so that we don't need to live by rules in those relationships in which we want to have camaraderie rather than you know rather than a set of rules that we all have to follow we want to have that natural camaraderie and that's the investment that we need to honor and like you were saying earlier if you come in to try to control then the why isn't so and so changing becomes a why of frustration but if you think about the idea of living in camaraderie living it living in commonality then the why becomes the curious why the why becomes a how how can we how can we change and maybe it's not maybe we discover in in a camaraderie part way through the change process that I thought I came here to change you and actually what's happening is that we're both changing to become a come to become a common good yeah I mean quite often the the chain like you can't change another person you can change yourself so if you're discontented with a certain kind of social Dynamic you can either you know Focus that attention on trying to get the other person to change or you can change your attitude or relationship with the dynamic right like that's the easier shift like what is it about me that's so resistant or so repelled by this maybe I can work on myself to be more accepting Etc more flexible what have you um and and certainly there are situations in which you know somebody is doing something that requires a net or some kind of intervention right some kind of loving compassionate like hey we need to kind of course correct where this person's at maybe they can't see what they're doing to themselves or in a loving way like how can we come to this person's aid but there are other situations in which maybe it isn't appropriate for you to intercede and and I think in thinking about the nature of change and how a person changes lasting change only comes from a place of willingness like like willingness that that is that is percolating from within it doesn't come from being impulsed by an external Source or some kind of pressure from another human being that might create a short-term change but there will will most likely be a reversion back to the norm and it's only when that person realizes that they actually want to change or they have that like willingness like uh you know a sort of you know profound desire that that is within themselves that that change stands a chance of actually not only transpiring but withstanding the test of time and I think that that is a factor that comes into play in terms of how one intercedes or gets involved with somebody who that they who they think you know they they're trying to help but maybe you know if that person is on this this is like a recovery thing but if someone's on a downward slide but they're not ready maybe you got to let them hit you know go a little bit deeper down until that pain point is sufficient enough that it creates a you know a receptivity to doing something different when you started in that in that thought and you said maybe it's me that has to change oftentimes I have found over the Decades of life that once I start to make that change that you described the other one starts to make the change too and we meet at some sort of elevated paradoxical condition that incorporates both of our perhaps needs or wants and then that makes it happen further in what you were saying if someone is not willing to change there is a point where you say well I'm going to put I'm going to assign a much longer timeline on this one and I'm not going to look for any involvement or any anything visible at this moment not going to look for it not going to look for it not going to be frustrated by the frustrated by the fact that it doesn't exist at this moment and then there are also those components that you described in which we become harmonic because I'm not trying to change you and you're not feeling that and the willingness that you talked about is that Central heart piece right the hope and the will and the courage and that willingness is okay now we're starting to go in the fourth dimension which is time right third dimension of space fourth dimension of time because that's the heart so all of a sudden I'm willing now the other person's willing I'm hopeful now the other person's home now our timing and you said dance earlier now our timing is starting to work really well our dance is starting to coordinate everything is starting to work now all we have to do is just maintain the steps maintain those incremental steps and when we when we find someone who needs that tolerance right maybe they have to hit bottom you said somebody that really needs an intervention even in those instances I've found that if I can find them in the reflective Universe right if I can find them in a pixel of myself the image that I have of myself one little pixel has that person dead to Center so if I can get in touch with that tiny piece of myself that's identical to that crazy ass person with all of their you know disarray now I'm going to be able to as you know the Buddha once said the places I am to go I shall go the people I am to meet I shall meet but the most important part of that prayer was the things I'm supposed to say will form on my lips as I speak so if I can find that commonality with that crazy ass person that is being so outrageous or being so destructive now we can start to have a conversation yeah in in you sharing that I was thinking about the fact that you know that the adage that you know people just want to be seen they want to be heard and most people aren't you know so they go through their lives and and they feel unseen and they feel unheard and they feel irrelevant or as if they don't have anything valuable to contribute and that over time of course that's going to lead to a sense of of Despair and and perhaps in the most extreme cases crazy making right like how long can you go in your life if you feel invisible in that way big time and you talked earlier about you know there may be traumas and there be there may be different things that have occurred in a person's life that cause them to feel hopeless that cause and to feel unable to make change what if being seen and being heard in a moment could dissolve some of the traumatic effects the traumatic After Effects [Music] psychologists therapists counselors have found that that's the case so often that what you said was when you're heard and when you're seen and it's true and it's authentic suddenly the things that have been hassling you internally causing you to act out causing you to be unwieldy start to dissolve start to disappear and all of a sudden that which was traumatic sort of comes down a few notches to become just dramatic comes down a few more notches it becomes manageable now all of a sudden you've taken what was trauma and you've turned it into energy that can be used yeah to transmute that whole Dynamic yeah yeah what do you think is the thing that that most gets in people's way when they're trying to master some kind of change what is the primary obstacle that trips people up trying trying to master some kind of change the Mastery of change is available always that's the nature of infinity and I always say this place has to be infinite because if there's an end what's on the other side of the end right so the laws of infinity are holographic which means that everything is available always Einstein talked about the Continuum of time that all time was in one moment our sensory system just divides it up into sequences so that means that if I'm trying to master something I'm going the long way around but if I'm accepting the fact that Mastery whether I think I have it or not doesn't matter but that Mastery of this whatever it is exists now we've taken a major step what Einstein called warp speed we've taken a major step in bending time so that the distance between beginning and outcome has been dramatically shortened if I just accept that the success the outcome the goal is right here my pathway is much easier so how would one practice that like in a practical sense like theoretically I'm trying to wrap my head around affirmation yeah affirmation I find that affirmations are like little kids Jingles right little kids sometimes tell themselves something I'm going to be okay I'm gonna be okay I'm gonna be okay and we don't necessarily hear this because they're doing it silently inside themselves to themselves but all little children have some kind of an affirmative conversation or the opposite the polarity to that be depending upon how they're being raised but if a small child is being raised in the idea that there are possibilities and opportunities then the little child is going to be affirming to itself so think about that in Practical terms as an adult affirm to yourself that the universe is infinite and it can be taken care of and if I can just allow myself to go into that more relaxed State while still remaining aware and alert then I will be picking up on the guide the indicators they will show me I will see the sign on the roadway that says going here turn off there I will hear the GPS system inside of myself because I have the goal and I had my starting point so you talked about you know faith and trust earlier if we would take faith and trust and put them into more of a Consolidated practical term rather than just this elongated mystical term right you got to have faith you know well what does that mean right well what it means is you got to have faith that if you're driving down this freeway and off the freeway there's a ramp that is going to get you to the place where you're going if you keep looking up at the signs eventually you will see the sign that has the name and you will drive off that's faith faith based on something that's practical something that's doable but how do I know there's going to be a sign that's there is a sign that's the that's the there is well that's the faith piece right like you have to believe some kind of indication of where to go I would say that that's the affirmative piece give yourself the affirmation that the sign is there the word confidence means con means with and fidants means Faith confidence means with faith so give yourself the confidence give yourself the affirmation the sign is there and if the sign isn't there I missed it hmm but if the sign isn't there couldn't that be an indication that maybe you're you're you're on the wrong path or you're chasing the wrong thing if forgive yourself like so how do you discern between the two like you could you could talk yourself into like this is where I'm going and this is what I need to be doing and and and not and lack the self-awareness to understand like dude you're way off attack yeah you know what I mean like and and maybe the universe is trying to nudge you but you're like no no no this is where I'm heading the signs are gonna be there meanwhile you're ignoring all the signs that are kind of saying hey maybe like maybe like do a little bit maybe not a U-turn but like you know pivot and you get to a place on that road that you realize that you are way off way off course way off base doing the wrong thing having the wrong attitude all those things humor and forgiveness are essential in this process have absolute confidence absolute affirmation and then go for it and if you're absolutely wrong dead wrong humor wow I'll bet you there's been nobody on Earth that's ever been that wrong I bet you I could get the gold medal for wrongness and then forgiveness because forgiveness as we've said before in previous podcasts is giving yourself forward giving yourself back forward so not being stuck on some bad attitude or some bad decision that you've made but giving yourself forward to the present moment and saying okay I'm going to go forward with just as much confidence and just as much affirmation and I'm gonna go down this path dead wrong humor forgiveness and you're eventually going to get it right you do need a healthy dose of of humility like oh I would not mistake absolute confidence for some kind of calcified no arrogance or or certainty because I think that that to kind of get this right there's a there's a there's a there's like a surfing of the wave right like you're kind of riding these subtle energies and paying attention and allowing yourself to be kind of guided here or there and and not holding on too tightly like you may say well I I this is where I think I I want to be heading and this is I have confidence that I want to achieve this thing but there's a malleability like a a kind of Detachment that you have to have right like a non-attachment to the ways in which you're kind of being directed along the way I love that I love that relation between you and I because you complete and I complete you're absolutely correct absolute confidence needs a big dose of humility because humility with absolute confidence steers clear of arrogance which is the another word you used and so absolute confidence with humility with forgiveness with humor these are the components of the recipe because we're not going to get it right even with determination even with certainty we're not going to get it right but to go forward if you're going to go forward in your best capacity absolute confidence is what gives you that so you go forward with absolute confidence and then the moment you actually are registering this is way off base the humility to accept that the humor to be okay with that and the Forgiveness to correct that those are the components that are absolutely essential and yeah absolute confidence is very flexible yeah that's a that's a complicated recipe to stick in your air fryer and get right I love it I usually the humor piece like the the self-love piece that's a difficult one for me like when I go astray the the lack of of self-love and forgiveness that I extend to myself I think is a challenge for me and probably for a lot of people so I ask you then one question do you want to start intentionally inserting it fake it till you make it or do you want to in continue to be in that condition until the pain becomes unbearable so well that's my Mo yeah but I know but what if what if and that's not a bad Mo I mean you know High pain tolerance you achieve a lot but what if you began to insert into that equation I wonder what would be if I did it this way this time not that I have to do it this way all the time but I wonder what it would be if because I just made such a wrong decision and I just pulled such a you know an upside Downer wonder what it would be like if I didn't feel bad right now if I didn't you know flog myself right now I wonder what it would be like and just try it on occasion I think that uh that com that that piece is common between us um harsh correction um can sometimes you know spill out onto others as well right and what I learned what I'm learning let me let me let me do let me do a phrase correction what I'm learning is a little bit of maple syrup in the chai tea rounds the edges of the spices mm-hmm and they're not so Tangy and it's a more enjoyable experience and the maple syrup is the is the sweetener and it's not I'm going to be drinking honey not ever going to go there right I'm always going to have self-critical I'm always going to be self-critical because that's how I've learned to maintain course but I'm going to be I'm going to sweeten it take the edge off yeah yeah well I'll try that report back to you I love it you know it's it's so cool because you know I I you inspire me I inspire you and it's it's it's it's it's that it's that dance well I always love our conversations uh this one did not disappoint uh maybe our best one yet I thought it was brilliant uh I'd love to have you take us out with a song but before that um how's the Kundalini University going you've got this whole online robust community and I wanted to give you an opportunity to share a little bit about that before we end today's conversation well there's several layers for people that are just wanting to begin we have these challenges we call them it's a kind of a word that's used in the in the online world uh these 28-day challenges that are free and we have lots of people you know a couple thousand people joining and they're real simple they take seven to eight minutes a day and that's in an organ a community called the 13 moons and so that's the sets that the doorway in and then for those that are more advanced we have Kundalini University which is a globally certified 200 hour training course of learning Kundalini kriya yoga in a way that in my sense it's never been taught before it's like taking the traditions and then turning it into a science which is always morphing so that it's applicable to the 21st century it's not like only ancient teachings that are that are being brought in but it's Ancient Ancient teachings that are being combined with modern terminologies and Technologies and circumstances so that people can navigate today's world so those are kind of the layers it's all accessible through gurusing.com and the 13 moons is kind of an entry point but it's also a point where there's hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours of video and in Kundalini University there's 800 pages of manuals and three or four hundred hours of video so there's a lot of materials that are available yeah it's cool it's amazing what you've accomplished in this pivot you know since since the pandemic began and and you let the studio go to move into this digital space and and really create this you know robust curriculum and and resource that's essentially an operating system for living like in the way that we're seeing the rebirth of of certain ancient philosophies like stoicism being kind of conveyed for a modern audience as a practical you know as a practical solution to how we solve problems like there's this idea that philosophy is just something that lives in Dusty books and there's professors at colleges who talk about it but actually like this can be very helpful in guiding our decisions to live better lives and similarly you know Kundalini Yoga is is a is a similar you know strain of philosophy and application for life that is Rife with wisdom that is very practical for how we're living in the Modern Age so and that's really cool what you're doing I'm gonna steal that because you just gave me an idea Kos right Kundalini operating system there you go okay you could trademark that one on me on you and that's the case because I always get very contrary to philosophy I say we need to be practical we can be philosophical [Music] 20 but we have to be practical eighty percent and I think the philosophy can work like the sweetener you know it can't overwhelm but it can make it smoother but the philosophy dictates the practical application of a strain of thinking and being right yeah yeah cool man cool I think we did it you're gonna play a song for us I am good all right man grab that guitar [Music] so we were talking about um [Music] the holographic and confidence [Music] to be confident that the infinite will take care of it we're so fortunate to be confident we're so fortunate [Music] made a long time the long long time sunshine all around us all Everlasting oceans of Love bring joy Upon a Song so we're confident that the infinite will take care of him most all of it were fortunate we're fortunate that's a long time a long long time sunshine all upon us all Everlasting oceans of Love bring joy around us all and the pure light on live your Pure Line deep inside will be our guide and then guide our way our way on [Music] so that we can be confidential [Music] that the infinite will take care of it [Music] beautiful man love you my friend love you until next time until next time peace peace [Music] vegetables and fruit nuts and Grains

Channel: Rich Roll

Views: 35,853

Keywords: rich roll, rich roll podcast, self-improvement podcasts, education podcasts, health podcasts, wellness podcasts, fitness podcasts, spirituality podcasts, mindfulness podcasts, mindset podcast, vegan podcasts, plant-based nutrition

Id: zbtvu8vKTVQ

Length: 92min 46sec (5566 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 08 2023