Now I'm
putting my pottu. Mm. That's done. It signifies you're
a married woman. And, widows are not
supposed to keep it. But I continue keeping it,
though my husband passed away. Because he didn't believe in
not putting flowers in your hair after your husband
dies and all that. He said, it's crap. Do
what you think you like. So I took an
early retirement... ...and started what is
today known as YRG CARE. I started with three people. And today
my organization has about 300 people. And we have more
than 15,000 patients. My marriage was love
marriage, 44 years ago. Because in India,
marriage is a must, uh? In India when the boy or the girl is
27, 28, 30. Oh why are you not married? Is something really
wrong? Are you a gay guy? You know, now people
have even started asking that. So similarly, if HIV-positive
people look normal, naturally the parents pressurize
the person to get married. And then they come to us.
What do we do? We say, you can't spoil somebody's
life. So let's start matching people. Mm. It's done. So go ahead. OK I'm going to tell
you a story. A love story. Both of them are HIV positive. I know Karthik for the last 16 years. He's a great guy to have around. I mean, I would have
liked a guy like that. Have coffee So what is your qualification? So at least she must be
a college graduate, that level? So have you decided you want
your same caste, community, or? Yes, definitely. You fell in love.
Easy explanation. Yeah.
So, can I show you a picture? She's a very pretty girl
but they're only 19 year-old. No, but you're 38! If I had a son, 38,
not married, I'd have hit the roof. No, we don't want that to happen. I
mean, we want you to be happy. Right? There must be someone
meant for you somewhere. We have to find
her. Wherever she is. Yeah? So let's hope we do. We'll find
somebody. Did you finish your coffee? I was working at the Madras Medical
College as a professor of microbiology. And I was reading the medical journals
and I found this new disease, AIDS, AIDS everywhere. So I
called one of the girls and said, we're going to look for AIDS
in India. And she started crying: I can't look for gay men.
Where will I find them? So I said, look, it's transmitted
by multiple sexual partners. So why don't we look amongst
sex workers? Female sex workers. So we went to the police and said,
when you raid and bring the girls in, we want to draw
the samples. We tested the first hundred and got
six women positive. We didn't believe. So we re-tested the whole thing. Again
the same six samples came positive. No doctor at that point of time
was willing to touch people with HIV. I had to admit them
in a hut on the street. I could see right in
front of me people crying and needed
help, especially women. I remember the first pregnant
woman who came to me. She was just crying.
She was so innocent. She must have been what, 20, 21?
No obstetrician wanted to deliver her. People have criticized me. My professor
has criticized me. Some of my friends. How can you touch a sex worker
and even talk to her so sweetly? You should throw them
out. You should stone them. You know, this is the way
they were talking to me. But I find those are women
who really need help. And it is their right to have good
health. So I didn't care what others thought about me. I used to feel
bad that they didn't understand what I was trying to do. When I was at the medical school, there
was a guy. Totally we were poles apart. They were socioeconomically not
so well off. My family was well off. He wanted to eat only
non-vegetarian. I was a vegetarian. After three years of being together,
we decided that we want to get married. So I went and asked my
mother, what happens if I marry a Muslim or a Christian? She said, Oh
they're all flowers of the same god. But when the whole real story
came out at home, my mother said, I didn't say that for
you. It is for others. For you, how can you marry
a Christian? It's impossible. We were in love for 43 years. My husband's favorite flowers.
Orchids. And this color orchids. She seems to be in a sort
of a hurry to get married. So I was thinking of
Karthik. What do you think? No how it'll work? She goes chuk chuk
chuk chuk all the time. And Karthik... She's a Kashmiri. No, no. She knows a few words
in Tamil. For example vanakkamam and things like this because
her father worked in Tuticorin. I think sometimes they
say opposites match. Anyway, my husband never talked and
I did. Good family and economically... She just has to do exercise. She's
lost more than 5 kgs, after we met her. She was 75. Yeah, yeah she's
nice and plumpy. Our body has a lot of immunity. And that immunity is due to the white
blood cells we have in our system. And the white blood
cells have many subsets. One of them is known
as CD4 t-lymphocyte. The CD4 decides which cells in the
white blood cells will do what work. So if you destroy the CD4
cell, your whole immunity drops. When a person gets infected, these virus attack the CD4
cells and finally kill them. So over a period of time, the
CD4 cell starts coming down. So from 800 it can come down to,
We have seen people with 15 and 14... If it comes below 350,
then we are worried. We start them on anti-retroviral
drugs to raise the CD4. We look at their CD4 counts,
and then we look at their viral loads. Then we look at all the
opportunistic infections they have. Clinically, are they fit? Only then we start looking
for a bride for this person. So instead of matching horoscopes,
we match their clinical history, their laboratory details of CD4s,
viral loads, and if that is good, then we get them married. It's
just not that they want to get married and tomorrow we get them
married. We never do that. So in short, CD4 is our astrology. I met a very nice girl. She's a
Kashmiri. Her marriage was arranged by the parents, you know,
the usual horoscope... Yeah. And then she conceived. And
she had a test done. You know they do an HIV test every time
you, a person gets pregnant. And she found herself positive. Even that, though she was
shattered... but he kept saying I'm negative, I'm negative. Yeah. She couldn't have gotten it any
other way. She said, no, I want you to have a test. And finally it was
proved that he had passed it on to her. So she, her parents said, if
you're not happy with him, we will... so now they're divorced. But
the girl is still wanting to get... it's already now, what, two years,
three years, since all this happened. Her request is it doesn't
matter, anyone but from India. Not from outside. And she wants from a good family
and a man who'll keep her happy. That's all requirements she has. Yeah, that's all she wants.
And I have one more question I have is your parents - will
they mind if she's Kashmiri or something like that? She will gel beautifully
into any family she goes. She's a very giving
and taking and loving... Ah! You're much more
forward thinking than me - OK! So it's up to you then. You
talk to her. You write to her. Then if you think you want to meet,
she can come here or you can go. There's absolutely no hurry. You
know, now just because I'm 40, oh I have to get married! No.
You think properly, do properly. Because for you it's going to be the
first time you're going to get married. And for her,
she's got that experience... ...any woman!
Yeah! Fine. Good afternoon, how are you? I'm OK. So I thought I'd warn you
that I'm going to give your number... Yeah He's a nice guy. Working
in IT. I think he's OK like. And I was imagining you
sitting next to him yesterday. CD4 counts are around 300.
We're starting him on antiretrovirals. We want everything to be happy for you
and whoever you're going to choose. That's only aim we have. No we won't let anything
bad happen to anybody. If we can do a little for someone,
that gives a lot of satisfaction. We will advise them to use a condom
in the beginning, till they are ready to have a child. And then maybe
we will calculate the ovulation period and ask them to not use
condoms just during that one week so that she can conceive
because this strain of virus - he can get it and
his strain can come to her and make things
more complicated. Lots of people in India tell
me: Why are you doing this? So many orphansare going come. But people with HIV
are living for 20-25 years. We get people who are known
as rapid progressors, who, within 3-4 years progress,
and their CD4 count drops. We have to start them on drugs. Karthik, after 16 years
he's going on the drugs. Whereas Manu in 4 years
she's going on the drug. So there is a difference
between the speed at which the virus is progressing. I am not sure. I am
keeping my fingers crossed. I'm sure with the drugs she should
be alright. We'll take care of her. I'll make sure she survives and
enjoys life. I think that's our duty. That's our duty. To take
care of people living with HIV. It is a chronic disease. Can
be treated. We have drugs. But you have to take it lifelong
and take it properly. If you don't then the virus becomes resistant to the
drugs and the drugs don't work anymore. I've never attended any
of my patients' weddings. They bring the invitation,
they give it to us and say please don't
come for the wedding. They see us in the wedding.
Why is this AIDS doctor around here? Is there something wrong? You pray for everyone. Show your foreheads. Show yours.
So we'll have cake now?
