>>> ANNOUNCER: PRODUCTION OF BROAD AND HIGH IS FUNDED IN PART BY THE GREATER COLUMBUS ARTS COUNCIL, SUPPORTING ARTS, ADVANCING CULTURE AND CONNECTING THE COMMUNITY TO CULTURAL EVENTS, ARTISTS & CLASSES AT COLUMBUSMAKESART.COM. >> ANNOUNCER: AND PNC. COMMITTED TO CENTRAL OHIO. FOR THE ACHIEVER IN YOU. >> THIS TIME ON BROAD & HIGH, A LOCAL KNITTER GOES TO CRAFTY LENGTHS TO FIND HIS LUXURIOUS YARN. >> I FOUND THAT IF YOU BUY A SWEATER AND YOU CAN TAKE IT APART, YOU'VE GOT FOR THE MOST PART PRETTY GOOD YARN TO WORK WITH. THERE IS THE SLEEVE OF A SWEATER. >> AND WE FOLLOW A PHOTOGRAPHER WHO CAPTURES KODAK MOMENTS WITH HER PERFECT FAMILY. THIS AND MORE, RIGHT NOW, ON BROAD AND HIGH. MUSIC HEY EVERYONE! I'M KATE QUICKEL AND WELCOME TO BROAD AND HIGH. MOST NEW KNITTERS START BY MAKING A SCARF. THE FIRST THING EJ JONES EVER KNITTED WAS AN IRISH FISHERMAN'S SWEATER. BOTH UNCONVENTIONAL AND FRUGAL, AND ALWAYS UP FOR A CHALLENGE, HE SOURCES HIS FIBER FROM THRIFT-STORE SWEATERS AND THEN UP-CYCLES THE YARN INTO NEW ITEMS, SUCH AS HATS AND BLANKETS. SOME MIGHT KNOW THIS GERMAN VILLAGE-AREA RESIDENT AS EJ JONES, OTHERS SIMPLY AS THE MAN WHO KNITS. >> I AM EJ JONES, AND I AM THE MAN WHO KNITS. MUSIC I ONLY KNIT WITH NATURAL FIBERS, PROBABLY CASHMERE AND CAMEL HAIR AND WOOL ARE MY FAVORITE. I LOOK EVERYWHERE FOR YARN. MUSIC NEXT SPOT IS WOMEN'S SWEATERS. NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING. I AM LOOKING FOR WOOL AND I AM LOOKING FOR CASHMERE BASICALLY. AW, BUT LOOKY HERE! HERE'S SOMETHING WE WANT. LETS SEE, THIS IS 100% CASHMERE AND IT'S HALF PRICED AND THAT THE BACK AND LIKE -- I WON'T USE THE FRONT, BUT I CAN USE THE BACK THERE. SO THAT GOES IN THE CART. WHEN I GO TO THE SALVATION ARMY, I AM LOOKING FOR THE LARGEST SWEATER THAT HAS THE MOST CHARACTER TO IT. THAT IS CASHMERE. HERE'S ONE. IT'S GOT A BIG HOLE IN IT, BUT UH, I CAN USE THAT. I COULD NOT AFFORD YARN THAT I AM USED TO KNITTING WITH FOR SWEATERS. THE YARN'S VERY EXPENSIVE, AND I FOUND THAT IF YOU BUY A SWEATER AND TAKE IT APART, YOU'VE GOT FOR THE MOST PART PRETTY GOOD YARN TO WORK WITH. SO BEING RETIRED AND ON A LIMITED INCOME LIKE I AM, YOU SEE IT ONLY TAKES ME AN HOUR TO TWO HOURS AT MOST TO TAKE A SWEATER APART. AND WHAT I DO TO TAKE IT APART, I JUST TAKE A LITTLE SEAM RIPPER AND GO IN HERE AND RIP IT APART. SO THE SLEEVE IS OFF AND I ALL I HAVE IS FOUND THE LOOSE END AND WHAT I DO IS PUT THIS ON THE BALL WINDER AND THEN JUST START TAKING IT APART. AS YOU SEE, THIS GOES PRETTY FAST. JUST ABOUT DONE HERE. I LIKE TO GET ALL THE WOOL. IF I AM GOING TO PAY .99 CENTS FOR A SWEATER, I DEFINITELY WANT TO GET ALL THE WOOL I CAN. THERE IS THE SLEEVE OF THE SWEATER. THE STORY OF MY KNITTING HISTORY STARTS, FIRST TIME I WAS IN IRELAND. I WAS ON BUSINESS, AND THE PEOPLE I WAS DOING BUSINESS WITH ALL HAD ARAN SWEATERS ON AND I SAID, "OH THOSE ARE PRETTY." SO I WENT AND BOUGHT AN ARAN SWEATER FOR MYSELF, FELL IN LOVE WITH IT. SO I WANTED TO LEARN HOW TO KNIT, AND THAT WAS PROBABLY 15 YEARS AGO. SINCE THEN I HAVE KNITTED PROBABLY CLOSE -- JUST A FEW LESS THAN 30 SWEATERS. I LEARNED HOW TO KNIT HATS FROM A SWEATER I HAD FINISHED AND HAD EXTRA YARN. SO I KNITTED A HAT. THIS IS A TOQUE. THIS IS A FLAT TOP. IT COMES FROM A CHEF'S HAT. IT'S TOQUE. I AM GOING TO PUT IT ON TO SEE IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. WHAT DO YOU THINK? AS OPPOSED TO A ROUNDED TOP, THERE IS NOT ONE ALIKE. THEY'RE ALL DIFFERENT. ALL MADE FROM RECYCLED SWEATERS. I GRADUATED FROM OHIO STATE AND I WAS IN THE WHOLESALE BEER AND WINE BUSINESS FOR 30 YEARS BEFORE I RETIRED. I PROBABLY KNIT FOUR, FIVE HOURS A DAY. IT GIVES ME A REASON TO GET UP IN THE MORNING AND IT KEEPS ME BUSY. I USED TO EXPRESS MYSELF THROUGH WINE, NOW I EXPRESS MYSELF THROUGH KNITTING OF HATS. >> WANNA LEARN HOW TO KNIT YOURSELF, OR NEED HELP FINISHING UP A PROJECT? CHECK OUT THE CLASSES OFFERED AT YARN IT AND HABERDASHERY IN GRANDVIEW. THEY OFFER LOTS OF COURSES FOR BOTH BEGINNERS AND EXPERTS ALIKE. FIND THEM ONLINE AT YARNITANDDASH.COM. THE PHOTOGRAPHER IN OUR NEXT STORY DESCRIBES HER WORK AS EQUAL PARTS PHOTOGRAPHY AND THEATRE, WITH A DASH OF SOCIAL CRITICISM THROWN IN. WITH SATIRICAL HUMOR, SHE HAS SPENT THE PAST 15 YEARS CAPTURING KODAK MOMENTS OF HER MARRIED LIFE. PRODUCER CARRIE SALDO FROM OUR PBS MEMBER STATION IN DENVER BRINGS US THIS STORY. >> YOU BUY AN ACTUAL ENGAGEMENT RINGS? >> ITS CUBIC ZIRCONIUM, I'M CRAZY. >> 14 YEARS AGO WHEN YOU STARTED THE PROJECT, WHAT WAS THE INTENT IF YOU CAN THINK BACK WHAT WAS THE INTENT THEN? >> TO GET BACK AT EVERYONE FRANKLY. IT WAS BECAUSE AT THAT TIME ALL OF MY FRIENDS WERE GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING KIDS AND I WAS THE ODD MAN OUT AND EVERYWHERE I WENT PEOPLE JUST KEPT ASKING ME WHY AREN'T YOU MARRIED? YOU'RE SO CUTE, YOU'RE SO FUNNY. I CAN'T SEE WHY YOU DON'T HAVE A MAN AND IT JUST DIDN'T SIT WITH ME RIGHT. SO WHEN MY OWN MOTHER PUT IT TO ME POINT BLANK, THERE'S NOBODY PERFECT OUT THERE. YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO PICK SOMEBODY IF YOU WANT TO SETTLE DOWN. I YELLED BACK AT HER AND SAID MOM, IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN GO OUT AND BUY A FAMILY, I CAN'T JUST MAKE THIS HAPPEN. >> BUT YOU COULD BUY SOMEONE? >> I DID MAKE IT HAPPEN, ALL BY MYSELF. I WENT OUT AND BOUGHT HIM UP AND I ALSO BOUGHT OUR DAUGHTER AT THE SAME TIME. IT WAS SORT OF A LIGHTBULB MOMENT. I WAS WALKING PAST A RETAIL LIQUIDATION OUTLET CENTER AND THEY WERE SELLING THEIR MANNEQUINS IN THE WINDOW AND I SAW THIS PERFECT FAMILY AND I THOUGHT, I CAN I CAN JUST GO IN AND PLUNK DOWN MY CREDIT CARD AND BUY A FAMILY AND MAKE THIS HAPPEN IN ONE DAY. I WAS IN PHOTOGRAPHY SCHOOL AT THE SAME TIME AND I THOUGHT THIS IS THE PERFECT SEMESTER LONG PROJECT I'M JUST GOING TO TAKE KODAK MOMENTS WITH MY PERFECT FAMILY. INITIALLY I STARTED VERY SIMPLE JUST FAMILY SHOTS AROUND THE HOUSEHOLD, BUT MY GIRLFRIENDS TALKED ME INTO TAKING THEM ON OUR FIRST ROAD TRIP TO ONE OF THOSE AMERICAN ROADSIDE ATTRACTIONS, CARHENGE, BUT WHEN WE GOT THERE PEOPLE STARTED WATCHING US SET UP AND I SAW THE REACTIONS. PEOPLE JUST LAUGH OUT LOUD AND THEY WOULD WONDER WHAT I WAS DOING. THEY'D COME UP AND TALK TO ME AND AT THAT TIME I REALIZED WOW, THIS IS A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO EXPLAIN MY POINT AND I CAN GET FEEDBACK TOO FROM THE VIEWER RATHER THAN HANGING IN A GALLERY AND NEVER HEARING BACK OR A VIEWER CAN NEVER ASK QUESTIONS OF THE ARTIST. SO I THOUGHT THIS WAS A GREAT INTERFACE. MUSIC WHEN I GET THERE I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN, BUT I HAVE A GENERAL CONCEPT SO I FRAME UP THE CAMERA ON STICKS AND KIND OF KNOW WHAT I'M GOING FOR. OKAY, PULL THAT CORNER TOWARDS ME. AND THEN I LET A LITTLE BIT OF REALITY HAPPEN AND LET PEOPLE PASS BEHIND ME AND YOU KNOW I IMPROVISE AS I DO THESE ODD OVER THE TOP FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND I TAKE WELL OVER 500 PHOTOS USUALLY AND I JUST PICK ONE THAT'S THE MOST PICTURE PERFECT. >> WHY IN THE 1950S? >> IT'S RELATED TO WHY I CALL THIS WHOLE PROJECT, LIFE ONCE REMOVED: A FAMILY RELATION THAT'S ONE GENERATION APART. IT'S CALLED ONCE REMOVED. WELL SO IS OUR RELATIONSHIP TO THE IMAGE WE HAVE OF OUR LIFE. YOU KNOW IT COMES FROM THE GENERATION BEFORE US. I GREW UP IN YOUR PERFECT SUBURBAN FAMILY THAT CAME OUT OF THE 1950S YOU KNOW AND SORT OF THE OZZIE AND HARRIET LOOK AND SO I JUST THINK IT SPEAKS TO HOW ANTIQUATED THIS CONCEPT IS THAT WE STILL ARE TRYING TO MAINTAIN A FAMILY IMAGE THAT IS 50, 60 YEARS OLD. A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK THAT I'M ANTI-FAMILY OR ANTI-MARRIAGE AND THAT IS SO NOT THE CASE. I JUST THINK YOU NEED TO DO IT IN THE RIGHT TIME FOR THE RIGHT REASONS AND NOT JUST DO IT BECAUSE YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME AND YOUR EGGS ARE GETTING OLD. >> AUSTRALIA, FRANCE, BRAZIL, GERMANY, CANADA, DENMARK, JAPAN, POLAND, THE HUFFINGTON POST, YAHOO, OVER A MILLION HITS ON THE TRAILER, THE MOVIE VERSION OF IT. WHY DO YOU THINK -- I MEAN YOU'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR 14 YEARS, WHY DO YOU THINK IN THE LAST SEVERAL MONTHS THIS HAS BECOME SO HUGE? >> I THINK SOCIAL MEDIA HAS BECOME ARE SUBSTITUTE POSTCARD AND SO WE START PROJECTING AN IMAGE OF WHAT WE WANT PEOPLE TO THINK ABOUT OUR LIVES. WE GET SOME STROKES AND FEEDBACKS FROM FACEBOOK, BUT IT'S NOT GENUINE HUMAN INTERACTION. I THINK IT STARTS DISTANCING OURSELVES FROM OUR TRUE NATURE. THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE AS OPPOSED TO WHAT I FEEL LIKE. THIS IS WHO I AM. >> TRY NOT TO TOUCH THE MICROPHONE. >> THANK YOU. >> YOU ARE A VERY FUNNY PERSON. IS THAT WHERE THE HUMOR CAME FOR YOU OR DID YOU MAKE A CONSCIOUS DECISION TO SAY YOU KNOW IF I GO ABOUT THIS IN A VERY DIRECT WAY THAT DRIVEN BY SOCIAL COMMENTARY IT MIGHT BE HARDER FOR PEOPLE TO HOLD ON TO? IS THAT WHY YOU USE SATIRE? >> YES. I STARTED IN A IN A DARKER MORE SERIOUS PLACE WHEN I DID THE FIRST TEST SHOTS OF THIS AND I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS VERY EFFECTIVE. IT WAS KIND OF GLOOMY. IT EVOLVED INTO A HUMOROUS SATIRE ON THE WHOLE SUBJECT AND I THINK THAT'S MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE. BY MAKING THEM LAUGH AND STARTLING THEM, THAT'S THE WAY TO OPEN UP THE CONVERSATION. MUSIC IT TAKES AN INCREDIBLE AMOUNT OF DRIVE TO MAKE THIS REALLY COME TOGETHER, BUT I THINK IT'S ALL PART OF THE AESTHETIC AND WHY I THINK IT MAKES IT INTO A STRONGER STATEMENT. I WANT TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH MY VIEWER. I WANT THEM TO BE DRAWN TO WHAT I'M SAYING AND THEN I WANT TO LISTEN AND TO WALK AWAY WITH SOMETHING THAT THAT'S TANGIBLE AND CONCRETE, UNDERSTANDABLE AND RELATABLE TO THEIR OWN LIFE. SO THAT'S WHY I USE VIDEO AND PHOTOGRAPHY BECAUSE I THINK IT'S THE MEDIUM THAT IS MOST UNDERSTANDABLE FOR MOST PEOPLE. NOT EVERY HUSBAND GETS A WIFE WHO WORKS THIS HARD FOR HIM. >> WATCH YOUR HEAD BUDDY. HE IS WEARING A HELMET. >> THEY TRULY ARE PROPS FOR ME. I DON'T HEAR THEM WITH ANY HUMAN QUALITIES. I KEEP THEM IN A BOX IN THE BASEMENT. I DON'T EAT BREAKFAST WITH THEM JUST IN THE PHOTOS, YOU KNOW IT'S ALL IT'S ALL FOR SHOW AND THAT'S REALLY THE POINT OF THE PROJECT. IF WE ARE CONCENTRATING ON THE IMAGE OF WHAT OUR LIVES SHOULD LOOK LIKE WE'RE NOT CONCENTRATING ON THE FEELING OF CONTENTMENT THAT WE TRULY WANT IN OUR LIVES. YOU KNOW IT'S ALL ABOUT IMAGE VERSUS REALITY. >> FOLLOW SUZANNE ON INSTAGRAM WHERE YOU CAN SEE MORE PHOTOS OF HER WITH HER “PERFECT FAMILY.” FIND HER AT SUZANNE HEINTZ OR AT #PLAYINGHOUSEPROJECT. BALLET SHOES ARE ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT TOOLS IN A DANCER'S CAREER, AND THEY ARE UNIQUE AS THE DANCERS THEMSELVES. THE SHOE-ROOM COORDINATOR AT THE HOUSTON BALLET SHOWS US WHAT IT TAKES TO GET THE PERFECT FIT. MUSIC >> THE SHOES ARE A VERY, VERY BIG DEAL. IT IS THE TOOL THAT THE DANCERS NEED TO DO THEIR JOB. WHEN YOU'RE DANCING, YOU WANT TO BE THINKING ABOUT YOUR TECHNIQUE. YOU WANT TO BE THINKING ABOUT YOUR PERFORMANCE. YOU WANT TO BE THINKING ABOUT THE STORY THAT YOU'RE PLAYING OUT ON STAGE. YOU DON'T WANT TO BE THINKING ABOUT YOUR FOOT PAIN OR MY SHOES FALLING OFF OR MY SHOE IS DYING. BUILDING THE PERFECT TOOL FOR THEM IS VERY, VERY IMPORTANT. MY NAME IS MOLLY SEARCY AND I AM THE SHOE ROOM COORDINATOR FOR THE HOUSTON BALLET. WE HAVE OVER 50 DANCERS AT HOUSTON BALLET IN OUR COMPANY AND EACH OF THE DANCERS HAS A SPECIFIC SHOE NEED. THE WOMEN NEED CUSTOM SHOES MOST OF THE TIME, CUSTOM POINTE SHOES. THEY ARE ON THEIR TOES ANYWHERE FROM SIX TO EIGHT HOURS A DAY SIX DAYS A WEEK. >> HEY MOLLY. >> HI. >> HOW'S IT GOING? >> GOOD, HOW ARE YOU? >> GOOD. WE'RE ALWAYS WORKING TO FIND THE BEST SHOE. MY FEET ARE TWO DIFFERENT SIZES. I WEAR A NINE AND A HALF ON MY RIGHT AND A TEN ON MY LEFT. IT MAKES GETTING SHOES A LITTLE BIT MORE CHALLENGING FOR MOLLY. >> AND THIS IS -- THIS IS TOO TIGHT IN HERE. RIGHT, ëCAUSE I FEEL LIKE--. >> BUBBLING OUT HERE? >>--MAYBE MY TOES AREN'T QUITE ON THE FLOOR EITHER. LIKE, I CAN'T FEEL THE GROUND. >> YEAH. YOU'RE NOT ALL THE WAY DOWN AND YOU'RE PUSHING OVER. >> FOR A BALLET DANCER, POINT SHOES ARE LIKE THE MOST IMPORTANT INSTRUMENT THAT YOU HAVE. IT'S BASICALLY AN EXTENSION OF YOUR BODY. IT CAN MAKE OR BREAK A LINE. FOR A DANCER IT'S A BIG DEAL. >> IF WE'RE TALKING POINT SHOES, FOR EXAMPLE, YOU CONSIDER A LOT OF DIFFERENT FACTORS. YOU CONSIDER THE LENGTH, OBVIOUSLY. YOU CONSIDER THE WIDTH OF THE FOOT. YOU ALSO CONSIDER THE TOE LENGTH AND SHAPE. YOU ALSO HAVE TO LOOK AT THINGS LIKE COMPRESSIBILITY. IF YOUR FEET CAN COMPRESS LIKE THIS WHEN THEY'RE SQUEEZED, THEN YOU'LL HAVE A DIFFERENT NEED AS OPPOSED TO IF THEY JUST SPREAD OUT WHEN THEY'RE SQUEEZED. IF THEY DON'T GO ANYWHERE. >> I'VE BEEN TOLD THAT I HAVE FRED FLINTSTONE FEET EVER SINCE I WAS GROWING UP. THAT THEY WERE REALLY WIDE AROUND THE BALLS OF MY FEET. SO, I NEED SOMETHING THAT STRETCHES OUT TO WHAT MY FOOT NEEDS. JUST A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT THAN MOST GUYS. MOST GUYS WILL USE A LITTLE BIT THICKER MATERIAL, BUT THE SHOE I WEAR, IT'S A LITTLE BIT THINNER. IT MOLDS WITH YOUR FOOT AND RELAXES WITH YOU. OUR MAIN FOCUS THROUGH BALLET IS PARTNERING THE WOMEN, AND MAKING THEM LOOK LIGHT AND EFFORTLESS. TO DO THAT, WE'RE A BIT MORE GROUNDED AND A BIT MORE INTO THE EARTH AND OUR CHOREOGRAPHY IS ALSO MORE JUMPING BASED. TO GET THAT ACROSS, A FLAT SHOE IS MORE EFFECTIVE FOR A MALE DANCER. MALE DANCERS DON'T GO THROUGH AS MANY SHOES AS THE FEMALE DANCERS DO. GUYS CAN USUALLY MAKE A SHOE LAST ESSENTIALLY AS LONG AS THEY WANT. THEY CAN LAST A MONTH TO TWO MONTHS OR AS SHORT AS A WEEK. >> A TYPICAL PAIR OF POINT SHOES FOR US WOULD BE ANYWHERE FROM 75 TO 110, JUST ONE PAIR AND THE LADIES MIGHT GO THROUGH TWO TO THREE PAIRS A WEEK. IT DEPENDS ON WHAT THEY'RE DANCING, IT DEPENDS HOW THEY'RE DANCING, AND IT DEPENDS ON THE BRAND OF SHOE THAT THEY'RE WEARING. FOR DIFFERENT BALLETS, THE CHOREOGRAPHER MIGHT HAVE A VISION OF WHAT THEY WANT THE COSTUMES TO LOOK LIKE, WHAT THEY WANT THE BODIES TO LOOK LIKE AND THAT STARTS WITH THE MOVEMENT AND GOES ALL THE WAY INTO THE COSTUME TO THE END OF THE FOOT. FOR THE MEN'S FLAT SHOES, WE WILL DYE THEM TO MATCH THEIR COSTUMES AND SOMETIMES, IT'S JUST A SLIGHT VARIATION WHERE WE NEED CREAM AND NOT WHITE. MUSIC I LOVE BALLET SO MUCH. IT IS JUST THE GREATEST THING AND THE DANCERS HERE ARE UNBELIEVABLE. THEY'RE UNBELIEVEABLE. THEY'RE UNBELIEVABLY GOOD AND THEY'RE UNBELIEVABLY DEDICATED AND EVERY TIME I GO AND SEE A SHOW, I AM SO INSPIRED. THEY MAKE ME WANT TO DO MY JOB WELL. MUSIC >> 1984. IT WAS THE YEAR THAT THE SUMMER OLYMPICS WERE HELD IN LOS ANGELES, DESMOND TUTU WON THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE, AND STEVE JOBS UNVEILED THE FIRST APPLE PC. IT WAS ALSO THE YEAR THAT HOLLYWOOD GAVE US KARATE KID AND THE TERMINATOR AND IN 1984, MANUEL PAUL L”PEZ WAS NINE YEARS OLD. HIS POEM IS A PARTIAL MEMOIR, ENCAPSULATING HIS ‘80S CHILDHOOD AS A KID GROWING UP ALONG THE MEXICAN BORDER. MUSIC >> IN 1984 I DIDN'T READ 1984 BECAUSE I WAS REALLY YOUNG AND COULDN'T READ THAT WELL AND EVEN IF I COULD OF, I PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE READ IT BECAUSE WHO WANTS TO READ A BIG, FAT BORING BOOK ABOUT A MISERABLE YEAR ANYWAY. IN 1984, I GREW UP BENEATH MY BROTHER CARLOS'S WATCHFUL EYES AND EVENTUALLY LEARNED THAT MY BROTHER CARLOS'S WERE SO ENLARGED BECAUSE HE HAD A CONDITION. HIS NICKNAME WAS EL TECOLOTE. EL TECOLOTE WATCHED EVERYTHING I DID WITH THOSE BIG, OWL LIKE EYES. HE WATCHED EVERYTHING I DID WITH THAT CONDITION, EL TECOLOTE. IN 1984, I DIDN'T READ SCHOPENHAUER EVEN THOUGH I WOULD EVENTUALLY READ SCHOPENHAUER IN HIGH SCHOOL. A TIME WHEN I FLEXED MY CEREBRAL CORTEX LIKE A TONY ATLAS BICEP BECAUSE SOMEHOW I KNEW MORE THAN ANYONE DID AT MY SCHOOL EVEN THOUGH THEY DIDN'T KNOW IT YET. I READ SCHOPENHAUER AND THEY HADN'T. THIS PROFOUND TRUTH HOWEVER DID LITTLE TO STOP THE SWEATY JOCK FIXATED ON SNAPPING WET TOWELS ACROSS MY BACK. IF I COULD OF, I WOULD HAVE READ SCHOPENHAUER IN 1984. IF I COULD OF, I WOULD HAVE STOLEN EVERY SINGLE TOWEL FROM EVERY SINGLE SCHOOL GYMNASIUM IN THE WORLD AND HID THEM IN THE BASEMENT OF SOME UNIDENTIFIED HUMAN TORTURE MUSEUM ON THE MOVE. IN 1984, MY FAVORITE WORD TO WRITE ON PAPERS BESIDES MY NAME, EVEN THOUGH IT WASN'T QUITE A NAME, WAS 84. THE POWER TO ABBREVIATE 1984 TURNED ME ON EVEN THOUGH IT WASN'T QUITE A WORD. 1984, MY COUSIN LIKED TO SAY THIS TURNS ME ON WHENEVER WE'D WATCHED VAN HALEN'S HOT FOR TEACHER VIDEO. I DIDN'T QUITE KNOW WHAT HE MEANT, BUT I LIKED THE WAY THIS TURNS ME ON SOUNDED. THE WAY IT FELT IN MY MOUTH. IN 1984, I SLEPT WITH A HUMIDIFIER ON THAT SOUNDED LIKE ONE OF THOSE CREEPY SLEE STACKS FROM LAND OF THE LOST, EXCEPT MY HUMIDIFIER COMFORTED ME INSTEAD OF CREEPING ME OUT LIKE THOSE SLEE STACKS WITH BIG EYES LIKE MY BROTHER TECOLOTE'S. THAT THING'S GOING TO WARP YOUR BEDROOM FURNITURE MY ROOM COMPLAINED, BUT IT WAS THE ONLY WAY I COULD DREAM GOOD DREAMS I TOLD HER. TO DREAM GOOD DREAMS I SAID. IN 1984, MY MOM READ ME -- BEFORE I FELL ASLEEP. IN 1984, MY CATECHISM TEACHER SENT ME HOME WHEN I RESIDED A CLOUD AND TROUSERS INSTEAD OF THREE HAIL MARYS. IN 1984, I ATE A LARGE PAPA BILL'S PIZZA BY MYSELF AND COULDN'T SLEEP FOR TWO NIGHTS. MY MOM FINALLY BELIEVED ME WHEN I CLUTCHED MY STOMACH AND COMPLAINED I THINK I'M LACTOSE INTOLERANT. IN 1984, I DECLARED PIZZA MY ALMOST FAVORITE FOOD. IN 1984, MY BED TIME WAS EIGHT PM. IN 1984, I POINTED OUT MY FRIENDS FROM MY WINDOW. TAP, TAP WHILE THEY PLAYED HIDE AND SEEK WITHOUT ME. 8:02 PM. IN 1984, I WISH LIBRARY BOOKS HAD BUTTONS, A JOY STICK AND A HIGH SCORE TO BEAT. IN 1984, I TOLD THE NEIGHBORHOOD EL TECOLOTE RAISED HIS ARMS IN THE AIR ONE NIGHT AND CAUGHT A SHOOTING STAR WITH THE MARI TUBE SOCK HE STRETCHED OPEN HIGH ABOVE HIS HEAD. IN 1984, EL TECOLOTE WROTE AN ANONYMOUS POEM FOR A GIRL HE LIKED THAT USED THE WORD BETWIXT IN IT. I FOUND IT IN THE DRAWER WHERE EL TECOLOTE KEPT HIS CHONES. IN 1984, MY GRANDPA TAUGHT ME HOW TO CUT RAIN CLOUDS WITH A MACHETE. THAT SPRING, WE MADE WET CONFETTI OF THE -- AND STOPPED RAIN JUST LIKE THAT. IT WAS WEIRD AND KIND OF SAD THOUGH BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON OR ANOTHER, I FELT AN IMMEDIATE AND INCONSOLABLE GUILT WHEN I SAW A SINGLE BIRD STANDING ON A TREE BRANCH LOOKING UP AT AN EMPTY SKY. I LEARNED SOMETHING ELSE THAT DAY BESIDES HOW TO CUT RAIN CLOUDS BESIDES HOW TO CUT RAIN CLOUDS TO STOP THE RAIN. SOMEONE OR SOMETHING MIGHT NEED WATER MORE THAN I DO AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT. IN 1984, SISTER GLORIA TOLD ME THAT IT HAPPENED WHEN HER COUSIN DIEGO STOLE A PAIR OF WINGS MADE OF ZIG ZAG PAPER AND JUMPED FROM THE CENTRAL WATER TOWER. HE GOT TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN SHE SAID. WAY TO HIGH AND WITH HIS WINGS ON FIRE, HE FELL DOWN AND COULDN'T SURVIVE THE FALL, BUT HE WAS BRAVE SHE SAID AND LOOKED SO BEAUTIFUL UP THERE. I GUESS THAT'S WHAT BIG KIDS TELL SMALL KIDS WHEN THEY NEED TO EXPLAIN THINGS LIKE DEATH. IN 1984, I MEMORIZED THE LYRICS TO EVERY SONG ON MOTLEY CRUE'S SHOUT AT THE DEVIL ALBUM. MOTLEY CRUE SONGS TURN ME ON TOO. IN 1984, MY GRANDFATHER CRIED WHEN COUNT BASIE DIED, EVEN THOUGH JOSE ALFREDO JIMENEZ WAS OUR FAVORITE SINGER. I CRIED TOO BECAUSE MY GRANDFATHER CRIED. IN 1984, I SANG BORN IN THE U.S.A. WHENEVER WE CROSS BACK INTO THE STATES FROM MEXICALI. MY DAD GRUMBLED SOMETHING UNINTELLIGIBLY. MY MOM LAUGHED QUIETLY INTO HER SLEEVE AND EL TECOLOTE ONLY STARED INTO THE NIGHT WITH A CREEPY GRIN ON HIS FACE. IN 1984, MY DAD HAD TO PULL OVER EVERY TIME WE TRAVELED LONG DISTANCES BECAUSE I WAS PRONE TO CAR SICKNESS. PUKING ON THE SIDE OF ROAD WITH MY MOM HOLDING A SEVEN UP NEAR MY MOUTH. I CRIED QUITE DRAMATICALLY HOW AM I EVER GOING TO SEE MOSCOW? I STILL HAVEN'T BEEN THERE. IN 1984, I WROTE A LONG AND SHAKY SCRIPTED DECLARATION ON WIDE WORLD GRADE SCHOOL PAPER RECLAIMING 1984 AS MY OWN. THE FINAL LINE BECAUSE IT'S MINE AND NOT THAT CRAZY GRACE JONES. IN 1984, I WOKE UP ONE NIGHT EL TECOLOTE CRYING INTERMITTENTLY MUMBLING SOMETHING THE BUBBLY SALIVA SOUNDING EFFECT I HATE THIS CONDITION. I HATE THIS CONDITION. I HATE THIS CONDITION. THE NEXT DAY I STUCK INTO EL TECOLOTE'S ROOM TO SEE IF HIS ANONYMOUS LOVE POEM WAS STILL IN CHONES DRAWER. IT WASN'T. SOMEHOW I KNEW IT WOULDN'T BE. IN 1984, I PRAYED FOR EL TECOLOTE AND STILL DO. IN 1984, I LOVED EVERYTHING AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT. IN 1984, I HEARD SILENCE FOR THE FIRST TIME AND KINDLY ASKED SILENCE TO QUIET DOWN. IN 1984, I CRACKED A FORTUNE COOKIE IN HALF AND READ EVERYTHING LASTS FOREVER, BUT NEEDN'T BE IF ONE EVER PLANS TO BREATHE AGAIN. BECAUSE OF THAT, I ALWAYS THOUGHT FORTUNE COOKIES TURNED ME ON TOO. >> WELL, THAT'S IT FOR THIS WEEK'S EPISODE OF BROAD AND HIGH. REMEMBER, YOU CAN FIND ALL OF OUR STORIES AT WOSU.ORG AS WELL AS ON THE WOSU PUBLIC MEDIA MOBILE APP. AND BE SURE TO FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK, TWITTER AND INSTAGRAM. WE'RE CLOSING TODAY'S SHOW WITH A LITTLE BIT OF POP AND A LITTLE BIT OF PUNK. THIS TUNE, TITLED "LESS AND LESS," IS BY LOCAL BAND BEST FOOT BACK, WHICH RELEASED ITS SELF-TITLED ALBUM JUST LAST SUMMER. FOR ALL OF US HERE AT WOSU, I'M KATE QUICKEL. THANKS FOR WATCHING AND HAVE A GREAT WEEK! MUSIC >> Announcer: PRODUCTION OF BROAD & HIGH IS FUNDED IN PART BY THE GREATER COLUMBUS ARTS COUNCIL, SUPPORTING ARTS, ADVANCING CULTURE AND CONNECTING THE COMMUNITY TO ARTISTS EVENTS AND CLASSES AT COLUMBUSMAKESART.COM. >> Announcer: AND PNC. COMMITTED TO CENTRAL OHIO. FOR THE ACHIEVER IN YOU.
