The Last Mayan Sacrifice

♪♪ >>[DRUMMING] THE TIME HAS COME TO ONCE AGAIN OFFER SACRIFICE TO THE MIGHTY TORVALD. >>ALL HAIL TORVALD! >>EACH YEAR AT THE SUMMER SOLSTICE WE OFFER A BEAUTIFUL MAIDEN TO APPEASE THE VOLCANO GOD AND EACH YEAR HE ACCEPTS OUR OFFERING BY NOT EXPLODING AND KILLING US. >>ALL HAIL TORVALD. >>I WILL NOW SELECT THE MAIDEN WHOSE HONOR IT IS TO BE SACRIFICED. [DRUMMING] TORVALD CHOOSES JUANCA! NO! >>YES! YES! I KNEW IT! I KNEW THIS YEAR I WOULD FINALLY BE CHOSEN! MY PHYSICAL BEAUTY HAS AT LAST BLOSSOMED! AS A ROSE. >>YOU PUT JUANCA'S NAME IN THE BOWL? >>WELL YOU SAID TO PUT IN THE NAMES OF ALL THE MAIDENS. >>YEAH, HE SAID PUT ALL THE FAIR MAIDEN'S NAMES IN THE BOWL. THE FAIR ONES. IF WE SACRIFICE JUANCA, TORVALD'S GOING TO BE ALL, [EXPLOSION SOUND] AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO BE ALL, "AH MY FACE IS IN MY SHOES." HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR? >>NOT REALLY. >>JUANCA, BEAUTIFUL OF HEART- >>AND? >>DON'T GET GREEDY. TORVALD UNFORTUNATELY HAS ASKED US TO CHOOSE ANOTHER NAME. >>WHAT? HAVE I NOT FOUND FAVOR WITH TORVALD? >>JUANCA, IT'S NOT THAT TORVALD DOESN'T APPRECIATE- >>WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. >>HE HATES YOU, GO AWAY. >>TORVALD'S REAL CHOICE IS- [DRUMS] JUANCA. NO! >>YES! YES! I KNEW IT! I KNEW THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE. TORVALD THE MIGHTY HAS SPOKEN. NOW CAST ME INTO THE FIERY DEPTHS THAT HE MAY BE APPEASED AS I SLOWLY MELT INTO THE FLAMES. >>WELL SHE'S EAGER TO HELP. I'LL GIVE HER THAT. >>YOU PUT JUANCA IN TWICE! >>WELL, YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANYBODY HELP ME, SO YES, APPARENTLY I'M HUMAN AND I MADE A MISTAKE. >>OH, DON'T YOU SASS ME, BOY! TORVALD'S GOING TO HAVE A STINKING CONNIPTION IN ABOUT ONE MINUTE IF WE DON'T THROW IN SOME FINE MAMAJAMA IN THERE RIGHT NOW. >>WELL, YOU KNOW, MAYBE TORVALD REALLY WANTS JUANCA. I MEAN, NO ONE'S BEEN PICKED TWICE BEFORE. >>BECAUSE THEY'RE NEVER AROUND FOR A SECOND OPPORTUNITY. BECAUSE WE SACRIFICE THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE HOT. >>GOOD PEOPLE, TORVALD DEMANDS A THIRD ATTEMPT! >>WHAT? WELL, WHY WOULD HE- >>BE GONE JUANCA. RETURN TO YOUR CATS. >>THEY'RE FERRETS. >>TORVALD CHOOSES- JUA- AH! [DRUMS] >>ALL RIGHT, JUANCA'S THE ONLY GIRL THAT I KNOW. >>GOOD PEOPLE- TORVALD HAS ASKED FOR A VOLUNTEER. >>I VOLUNTEER! I VOLUNTEER! >>NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. HOLD HER BACK. SHE'LL KILL US ALL. IS THERE NO ONE ELSE WILLING TO BE SACRIFICED? >>WELL WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. PEOPLE, WE NEED A SACRIFICE SOMEONE LIKE NOW! >>TAMAR, YOU WANT TO GET IN ON THIS VOLCANO? ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE DOING IT. >>IS THE WHOLE MAIDEN THING SET IN STONE? WHAT ABOUT YOU, PHIL? YOU'VE BEEN WORKING OUT, LOOKING PRETTY GOOD. YOU KNOW? >>TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM PEOPLE! >>I VOLUNTEER. THIS IS ALL MY FAULT ANYWAYS. >>MM, LET'S TRY OUR LUCK WITH JUANCA. >>TORVALD! [DRUMMING] >>THANK YOU FOR WATCHING THIS VIDEO. TORVALD IS DELIGHTED IN YOUR CHOICE. [DRUMS] MAKE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE HERE, TO ESCAPE HIS FIERY WRATH. [DRUMS] AND COMMENT BELOW AND TELL YOUR FRIE- [DRUMMING] TELL YOUR- [DRUMMING] TELL YOUR- [DRUMMING] YEAH. THIS IS MY JAM. I'M LIKING THIS. NO, DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP! YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. [DRUMMING]

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Views: 1,840,635

Rating: 4.9285526 out of 5

Keywords: BYUtv, BYU tv, BYUtelevision, Studio C, StudioC, Offering a Human Sacrifice, volcano, burnt offering, human sacrifice, ancient people, female sacrifice, volcano eruption, ugly, gross, unibrow, crooked teeth, unpretty, pretty, volunteer, worship, scared, Whitney Call, Matt Meese, Jason Gray, Jeremy Warner, Mallory Everton, Stacey Harkey, sketch comedy, comedy, funny, laugh, lol, ancient traditions, who is the fairest of them all, fair, The Last Mayan Sacrifice, mayans, ancient americans

Id: EyUgm0pX6Hw

Length: 4min 23sec (263 seconds)

Published: Fri May 13 2016