The Language of Persuasion: Magic Words to Get Your Way

the language we use can have a huge impact on  a variety of different outcomes subtle shifts   in language can shape how influential  we are in shaping our audience's mind so they're very excited to be joined by  Jonah Berger if you don't know who Jonah   is he's a marketing professor at the University  of Pennsylvania's Wharton School he's also the   author of several books including contagious  and the Catalyst he's a keynote speaker and   marketing consultant and his newest book  is called magic words what to say to get   your way Jonah welcome back to the show how you  doing today thanks so much for having me back   I'm super excited that you're here today Jonah  and I are going to explore how to use language   to achieve persuasion now um Jonah there are  a lot of people who think they understand what   it means to use language but I want you to but  there's also some people that are like wait are   you telling me like the actual words I use make  a difference there's people that are a little   skeptical about that they might feel like they're  they don't need any room for improvement make the   case as to to those that are maybe a little  skeptical about the use of language and when   it comes to business and marketing and why is it  so so important yeah so you know I don't have to   tell you that we use language all the time right  right now you and I are speaking using language we   use language to write emails we use them to put  together PowerPoint decks we use them to pitch   clients we use them to talk to colleagues even  our own private thoughts uh rely on on language   and so basically everything we do involves words  in one way or another but while we often think   a lot about the sort of content of what we want  to communicate if I'm making a presentation for   example I have a general point I'm trying to get  across and I use language to do that we think a   lot less about the specific words that we use when  we are creating and and communicating those ideas   and that's a mistake because the language we use  can have a huge impact on a variety of different   outcomes subtle shifts in language can shape how  uh influential we are in shaping our audience's   mind they can shape how much we hold the attention  of the people we're trying to reach and even our   personal lives they can shape the effectiveness  of our relationships and how deep our social   connections are and so across almost every area  of Our Lives language matters even something as   simple as adding a couple of letters to the  end of the word can can have an impact and so   we really need to understand how to use these  magic words and take advantage of their power   so this is your fourth book if I'm not mistaken  um and we were chatting when we were preparing for   um this interview about how much of a work it is  really to write a book so you decide to write yet   another book what was your motivation behind this  one you know this is the research I've been doing   for the past decade or so so uh even before I came  out with the Catalyst my last book this on the   academic side was what I was was doing a bunch of  uh work on and you know a few things have changed   in in the past 10 or 15 years first there's  so much more data out there now about language   um you and I are having a conversation using  our voices but we could easily transcribe this   conversation in an automated way and immediately  see what words uh we used similarly online content   people are constantly sharing their attitudes  and opinions online there are millions of resumes   online that can be parsed for data conversations  are being recorded a variety of different sources   of data are out there that we can mine for insight  we even did project a few years ago looking at the   language that makes content content viral and so  so much more language data is out there so much   more words are out there to be mined for insight  when other work for example we've mined movie   scripts to understand what makes them Blockbusters  or song lyrics to understand what makes a hit and   so there's so much more data out there but but  second there are more tools to analyze that   data it advances in natural language processing  automated textual analysis machine learning means   we can extract insights from data that we couldn't  couldn't previously and so this has been the type   of work that I and my colleagues been working  on for the past decade or so analyzing customer   service calls and online content and presentations  and sales pitches to understand what language   we use and how it shapes our impact and so that  became the the basis for the book magic words you   know this is not in our script but um You probably  I don't know maybe you knew that something like   chat GPT was going to be coming out my guess is  you had the book done by the time that came out   um what's your thoughts about what's happening  in the world of AI when it comes to the use of   language yeah I mean a lot of what's happening  is that all this language data that's out   there now that is produced not only can we as  individuals can can learn from it but machines   can learn from it as well and so not only can  they analyze text but they can produce tax   um uh in ways never seen before I think this  technology is only going to get it better and   it's only going to have more impact on our lives I  think the question those individuals is okay what   can we add right what can we add Beyond these  things and how can by understanding how words   work can we increase our impact right chat GPT is  always Technologies like it are always going to be   out there to write a pretty good um response for  many things but it's not necessarily the best one   and it's not always right and so if we understand  how language works we can be more impactful   well I'm with you 100 I think that anybody who's  in the business of marketing which is what we   cover here at the social media marketing podcast  needs to understand that um the words that we use   whether they be written spoken uh you know done  through video audio whatever the medium is they   really can make an impact and um what we're going  to dive into is some of the strategy behind this   and I'm curious kind of at a high level what is  your strategy for making a bigger impact because   this is what you told me the thesis of the book  right which is how can I help people make a bigger   impact in all aspects of their life so what is  that strategy at a high level yeah you know I   think what's um interesting and challenging my  first book contagious was all about word of mouth   right it's how do we increase Word of Mouth my  most recent book The Catalyst was all about how   we change people's minds language is includes  both those things but it's also broader right   the language you use shapes whether content gets  Word of Mouth online the language you use shapes   whether people change their minds the language  you use also impacts how creative we are how   helpful other people find us whether they take  our advice whether we shape their own behavior   and whether we deepen social connections with  friends and colleagues and so this isn't just   kind of language does one thing and here are four  or five types of language that do that one thing   it's really about how we can use language in all  aspects of Our Lives to make things better whether   it's increasing our impact it convincing clients  colleagues whether it's about designing more   engaging online content whether it's just holding  people's attention for the presentation and other   types of of content we develop yeah so you have  this strategy uh This Acronym you come up with and   maybe what it's a framework really maybe you could  just describe at a high level what it is and then   we'll dig in on just some of the ones that are  relevant for today's discussion yeah so I talk   about six types of language in the book six types  of words that we can use to increase our impact   and to help us remember those types of words I  put them in an acronym that is speak s-p-e-a-c-c   I know it has two CC's at the end rather than  a k couldn't come up with a better way to stuff   those six Concepts together but the S stands for  similarity the P stands for how we pose questions   um the E stands for motion the a stands for the  language of agency and identity uh one of the   C's stands for concreteness and the other stands  for for confidence and so these are six buckets   of language and underneath each in the book is a  variety of different tools and ways to apply it   but by understanding these six buckets we can  we can really make ourselves more successful   so um let's start with agency uh let's define  what the heck that actually means because that   might mean different things some people might  think of the CIA when they think of Aging   so yeah let's define what that means and then  maybe let's give some examples and break it   down a little bit Yeah so at a high level the the  language of agency and identity it points out that   language not only provides information it suggests  who's in charge who's responsible and what it   means to engage in a in a particular action  and so this chapter is all about how we can use   language to make ourselves feel more in control or  distance ourselves from something if it's if it's   not so beneficial how we can use the language of  identity to frame certain things as desirable or   undesirable identities which will shift other  people's actions so let's get into like what   you mean by some of this yeah sure yeah so I'll  give you a really really simple example so often   um uh when we are trying to influence others we  ask them to do something we might ask someone for   help for example say something I can you help me  uh for a non-profit maybe we send mail or we post   content online saying you know go out and vote  and so in both those cases we're using verbs verbs   like help or vote to encourage people to do what  we want them to do but it turns out a subtle shift   in language one even two letters in some cases  but not even more than that can greatly increase   the impact of our messages and Communications  there was a a great study done many years ago at   Stanford University where in an elementary school  classroom they ask some students to help clean up   big mess on the floor and so they asked students  to help clean up now some of the students they   use the traditional approach to said hey can you  help clean up using the word help to encourage   the students to to clean up for a second set  of students though they used a very slightly   different approach rather than saying can you help  they said can you be a helper now I don't have to   tell you that help and help are very similar right  helpers just the word help with with two letters   at the end but that increase the percentage of  people that helped by about a third and it's not   just Elementary School students cleaning up there  was more recently a study with voting where they   actually sent mailers out to many people saying  hey you know we're trying to get people to turn   out to vote and so you know some set of people  please go vote and for the other set of people   rather than ask them to vote and ask them to be a  voter now in this case it's only one extra letter   right vote adding an r at the end turns it into  voter but there would increase the percentage   of people that turned out to vote consequential  outcome by about 15 percent and you might say well   help and help or vote and voter they're basically  the same why did this matter but if you look under   the surface this is all about how we can turn  actions into identities and so so most of us   want to hold desire desirable identities we want  to see ourselves in positive ways and avoid seeing   ourselves in negative ways but language shapes  the identity we see ourselves as as holding so   let me say I told you about two friends of mine  one friend runs and the other friend is a runner   if you had to guess which of those two people do  you think runs more often a person who is a runner   or the person who runs well I would imagine it  depends how they self-identify right okay imagine   I just all you know is that one person runs yeah  one person is a runner well if they are a runner   that means that they're consistently running in my  brain yeah right because they hold that identity   you think that's more consistent if I say someone  loves dogs oh they like dogs I say someone is a   dog lover you're like oh man they must really  love dogs I say someone drinks coffee yeah once   in a while they have some coffee they're a coffee  drinker oh wow they must hold that really strongly   and so by turning actions by turning uh verbs  like turning adjectives into identities it makes   it seem more stable it's not just a transitory  short-term thing it's who someone is and so what   that means is by taking an action like helping  or an action like voting and turning it to an   identity we can make people more likely to take  that action because they want to see themselves   as holding that desirable identity voting yeah  that's fine getting to see oneself as a voter   lots of desirable identity I want to hold maybe I  should do the work to vote so I can see myself as   holding that that identity and so you know this  has a variety of different applications you know   if we want to persuade someone to to do something  use language that translates it into an identity   at the same time we want to avoid people doing  something the same is true but but to the opposite   way losing is bad being a loser is even worse  right cheating is bad being a cheater is even   worse some research found that in the context  of an academic classroom telling students to   cheat some people didn't cheat tell him not to be  a cheater made them much less likely to cheat why   because cheating would then make them a cheater  and so they avoid it and so if we want people to   approach or avoid a given action framing it as  an identity is going to make them more likely to   do it even holds when we're presenting ourselves  or talking about some colleagues I was going to   ask about that yeah oh yeah yeah so if we tell  describe ourselves as hey I'm hard working or   this person is hard working of course they're a  hard worker well suddenly it sounds like that's   a more stable trait of theirs um uh you know I'm  Innovative okay I'm a CR I'm creative okay I'm   a creator I'm an innovator well that seems like  something that's more likely to persist into the   future and so even as we're describing ourselves  or our colleagues how we describe them can shape   how people perceive us or or others as well so I  would imagine uh there's so many different things   that are running through my brain first of all  I think about someone who wants to self-identify   as a writer could simply just call themselves  I'm a writer or someone who wants to speak can   say I'm a speaker or I'm a podcaster or I'm a  YouTuber yes dot dot dot dot right and then you   can start saying this to other people as well  this could be very inspirational because people   um you could just say you are that right and  and even thinking about like affirmations and   stuff I would imagine people could start asking to  themselves these words yes they'll persuade them   right I think that that's a great point you know I  love what YouTube has done and maybe they weren't   the first to do it but they've done a really  good job of calling their Community creators   right they're not just creating content yeah it's  something someone does in their spare time that's   for kids being a Creator well hold on that's a  job right being a Creator is a stable stable thing   um same thing with being an influencer right it  seems now it's not just influencing yeah influence   happens someone is an influencer well that's a  real thing that must persist over time and so I   love your point about um you know an affirmation  if if I want to get into running you know calling   myself a runner will make me think well I need to  do this to keep this up um and so it can even be   used to change your own behavior not just not just  change others let's talk about should into could   because this is something that we were chatting  about and I would love you to kind of expound on   this a little bit because this also falls under  this category of agency right yeah so we're often   faced with challenges where we're trying to solve  a tough problem or we're trying to figure out a   way to be more creative and this may happen to  ourselves you know I'm working on something I got   to figure out a solution or as managers As Leaders  maybe we're trying to figure out how to make our   teams more creative or better at problem solving  and often when we think about solving problems   we think about what should we do right I've got  a tough problem okay what what should I do how   should I resolve this this issue but some very  nice research shows that instead of think about   what we should do if instead we ask ourselves okay  what what could we do and again just changing one   word right we're not changing what the problem is  we're asking ourselves rather than what we should   do what we could do that helps us think about  a much broader array of solutions and it helps   us come to a better solution more creative  solution at the end of the process even if   it's not something that we came up with at first  right think about what we could do maybe not all   of those are good ideas but by coming up with a  more diverse and disparate set of things it helps   us reach a better Final Solution ones that it is  more creative and one's that judge more creatively   as well and so I think the implication here is  clear don't just think about what we should do   think about what we could do as well well and I  start to think about for example in my case I've   got a bunch of Staff you may have staff as well  and I say to my people sometimes like you know   um you know I would imagine them I could say to  them what could we do instead of what should we   do right because should seems to be one response  right like what should we do seems to have some   sort of moral implication to it right like we  should do this or we shouldn't do that what   could we do opens up like the possibilities  right well we could do this this or this and   then I would imagine it gets people thinking  outside the box a little bit imagining a little   bigger right and and in the world of persuasion  and marketing we use the word imagine a lot and   imagine and the word could I think seems  somehow connected I don't know what are   your thoughts on that I mean I I love the way you  described it and I think it's exactly right right   could encourages us to think more broadly  encourage us to think about possibilities   um uh where should is a bit more constraining  right shoulders about what is the right answer   could is like hey what's out there and again not  everything that's out there is going to be good   but by considering a broader range of things by  considering a a broader set of solutions it'll   help us reach a better outcome I am a number of  years ago worked for a branding company that named   products they named things like the super Outback  the Pentium chip Dasani water and I still do a   little bit of naming Consulting on the side so  a number of years ago I named the website Trulia   and if named a number of other sort of companies  organizations and often one thing we did at this   firm and I still do in in my sort of private  Consulting work is I don't just think about the   problem I'm trying to solve I look at a broader  set of problems that are similar and I say well   what would be a good name in this situation not  because it's always right but it helps me think   about more possibilities which helps me reach  a better outcome and so thinking about Goods   can help us be more creative so this concept of  agency that kind of is the umbrella over these   two concepts that we've been talking about which  is uh turning shoulds into goods and also turning   uh asking for help into a helper right turning it  into an active um verb or I don't even know what   the right pronoun whatever the heck it is these  identity yeah identity okay yeah so these Concepts   um give the recipient agency is what I'm hearing  you say right is that kind of why you called it   agency because it gives someone creative agency  to try to identify or solve things in a broader   way yeah I mean I would say that I would call  the bucket agency an identity and I spent a   while thinking about the right name for this but  but it's kind of who's in control and what does   it mean to do something uh I'll give you I'll  give you another example that's where I think   agency is is even is even clearer um uh you know  if you you're talking to uh somebody and you say   hey did you do this um or did you take care of  this or in your personal life you know you may   get home and your partner or spouse may say  did you walk the dog for example you can feel   really accusatory right it can put the agency  saying well why didn't you do this particular   particular thing even if we don't even if we don't  mean it to and so even something as simple as   the word you a very small word that we use all  the time can suggest who's in control um whose   responsibility something is I mean who should take  uh action we did a big analysis a few years ago   um working with a big consumer electronics company  of all their social media content and kind of what   language they use that increased engagement and  there we found that the word you was was really   helpful a post that used you got more attention  more engagement more likes more comments and part   of the reason why is is you sort of acts as a  stop sign when you're scrolling through content   or you know reading a feed you feels like it's  speaking directly to you and so your radar goes   up you pay attention and you're more dialed in and  so we thought okay you you is great but then I did   an analysis of their customer support pages so  think about when when you have an issue with your   computer or your phone or your printer whatever  it might be you go to customer support the the   website content and gives you some helpful tips  and then people at the end often write how helpful   this content is and so we thought well great  if you is useful for engagement you should be   helpful here as well but there it wasn't helpful  there actually you as bad had made things less   helpful and what we realize is is you yes can act  like a stop sign and grab attention but if you're   already on customer support they already have your  attention and the problem there is that you can   suggest that it's your problem right if your phone  is broken you should do these things well hold on   why is it my job to do these things is it is it  the company's phone that broke right why is it my   responsibility to take care of this why am I the  one who has to take the agency why am I the one   that's that's responsible and so I I see all these  things as bucketed under kind of the the language   of identity and agency language tells us who's  in charge who's in control for better or worse   and what it means to engage a particular action so  in the case where you doesn't make a lot of sense   what would be the substitute I can help this you  I will do this for you or a few things right when   um uh if the phone is broken do this um  if the computer doesn't reboot do do this   um uh there are ways to to not suggest that  it's it's someone's response what about the   dog example would you say to your spouse has  it has the dog been able to take the dog out   for a walk has has the dog gotten a walk today  I'm not saying it's your responsibility right   literally what I'm asking right because think  about it when I say have you walked the dog   right if we're ready in an argument or something  or we've had a little disagreement earlier today   I can sound like why is it my job to walk the dog  what do you mean did I walk the dog it's not my my   job not my responsibility if you instead say hey  did the dog get a walk what you're clear about is   I don't I don't care whether you walk the dog or  that's not I don't think it's your responsibility   I just want to make sure they're not going  to go to the bathroom on the carpet because   they got a chance to go outside and so by subtly  changing the language we use we can increase even   personal interactions more more effectively so for  everybody who's listening who has a service side   of your marketing which so much does in Social  marketing we're dealing with private messages   from customers all the time by simply asking like  I was on the phone today with the customer service   rep because my internet went down right and the  the gentleman could have said has the router been   restarted instead of have you restarted the  router right I mean that's a great example of   um of uh worrying something in a way that is not a  tied to me having to take the action right that's   really what I'm hearing you say yeah exactly  right on text in which you're delivering yeah   and I think I think um you know customer service  agents are often trying to be helpful right or   at least that's that's their job um and so they  think that the word you is going to be useful   in that case but you're sitting there going man  I sat on hold for 15 minutes my internet's been   down it's it's a big you know bump in my day  getting away at a lot of things and now you're   are telling me I need to do this thing it's  your fault why don't you take care of it and so   um you know even in that situation use can be  important but also things like I versus we so   uh you know as a customer service agent I can say  I can fix your problem or we can fix your problem   um lots of research shows that companies  tend to think that we is a good idea right   we say something like we it sounds like we're  a large organization we're going to help you   but it turns out when people hear we they say  okay who is this we and are you actually going   to solve my problem whereas when the agent says  I'm going to take care of that we say okay this   person's actually going to do the work to to  get it done and so it's not just about you even   other types of pronouns like eyes and whee's  impact something like customer satisfaction   outstanding okay let's zoom in on another one  of the letters in your acronym concreteness   um what does that mean and then we can dig it on  some examples yeah so um a good way to think about   concreteness is concrete things tend to be things  we can physically experience we can touch a table   we can smell cookies we can see a door all those  are physical things in our in in our environment   um an Insight it's not very concrete right it's a  great thing Insight is good to have but we can't   touch Insight we can't feel uh Insight um uh  if similarly the word soon okay that's a little   abstract what does that mean tomorrow's very  concrete right I know what what tomorrow means   and so a few years ago we were interested um uh  in in customer service and kind of what language   agents use to increase uh satisfaction I mentioned  one thing already the difference between I and we   and and the use of of you but in particular I had  this experience where I was flying to work with a   client had done my sort of Consulting project  for the day was headed back home in an Uber on   the way to the airport and I get that the text  message which every traveler dreads which is you   know your flight has been delayed we've rebooked  you and they very nicely rebooked me rather than   on direct flight a connecting flight you know uh  the afternoon the next day which was was terrible   so I'm frustrated I call up customer service  you know I'm trying to to get them to change   something they end up being reasonably helpful but  not that helpful and I get off the phone and I'm   sort of you know pissed about it and the very nice  driver goes oh you know you seemed like you had a   difficult customer service call and I said yes and  he said oh you know it's really funny my daughter   works in customer service I was talking about how  she must have a difficult job how difficult that   much be he said no she she loves it in fact she's  so good at it that now she trains other people in   terms of how to do it better and I was sitting  there as a scientist going what does she do that   works I mean we all know when you called a  customer service you want the internet to   be fixed when I called I want a better flight  Beyond solving our problems though right which   is is possible or not can they make us feel better  about how it's going based on on the language that   they use and so a colleague Grant Packard and  I got um you know thousands of customer service   interactions whether by phone or over email parse  the language to figure out language that was more   impactful and we found this idea of concreteness  was really important and so to give you an example   um you know rather than saying hey uh your  refund will be there soon your money will   be there tomorrow um rather than saying I'll go  look I'll go look for that I'll go check if we   have those shoes in a size 11 right using really  specific concrete language shows someone that that   you're listening and I think this is a point that  actually goes much Beyond customer service often   as As Leaders as individuals that are trying to  show others we care we want to show that we heard   them right not just that we're sort of shaking all  right but I heard you you know I really heard what   you said but it's difficult to communicate that  often as customer service agents you know they're   they're trained to say oh I I you know thank you  so much for your call or your call is important   us and as I think consumers we sit there going  yeah that's what you say but that's not actually   what you mean if if my call was important to you  you'd pick up the phone faster and so how can we   show listening well concreteness is a great way  to do that right it not only shows that someone   paid attention to what you said and understood  what you said but is going to take action based   on it and so because concreteness improves  uh feelings of listening it boosts customer   satisfaction and it boosts subsequent purchase  as well well and I would imagine this could also   be used in the context of sales as well right  you're you're talking to a prospect in some sort   of medium right maybe it's over DMS and Twitter  or Instagram or it could be uh over email or it   could even be over the phone and when they tell  you um something specific right it sounds like   what I'm hearing you say is you want to Echo  back a portion of it in your own words right   um you could probably flat out you don't have to  say it this way I would imagine what I'm hearing   you say is but but you could say something along  the lines of um so I am going to get the answer   to your question about blank and get back to you  uh by the end of the day is that a good example   yeah so I want to be a little careful in that  there's a difference between mimicry which is   basically saying exactly what someone said uh  and being and being concrete and there there are   benefits to mimicry as um uh you know mimicking  others makes it them feel like we're on the same   team we have something in common um and so you  know it increases more of the acknowledgment   liking and Trust yeah it's only it's almost even  restating what they said in different words but   very specific words shows them that you you  heard them right it's really easy if you're a   customer service representative or if you're a  salesperson to say oh I can help you with that   oh we can solve that problem oh this addresses  that right we sort of get these stock phrases   that we roll out because it helps us they're  almost like kind of Swiss Army language right   whether someone's calling about a canceled flight  or a lost bag or a problem with a pet you know I   can say I'll help you with this and it fits the  problem though is because it's not very concrete   because it's so abstract it doesn't show them  that I that I listen and so by actually picking   up on what they've talked about in corporate  operating that in my response but doing so in   a really concrete way it shows that I listened  and makes them more satisfied okay so this is   really I'm going to try to say this in a different  way um ideally in a customer service situation um   when someone has asked you for something that they  need your help with you should say I will help you   and I will help you achieve blank whatever the  problem is and I plan to get back to you in a   time-bound period of time right I will get back to  you within the hour something specifically along   those lines is that what I'm hearing you say yeah  and it can it can be any soon is not so good an   hour is much more concrete or by the end of the  day I was recently talking to someone over email   I said I'll get back to you early next week that's  not really concrete or I don't know exactly what   you mean right saying I'll get back to you Tuesday  afternoon shows me exactly it's much more concrete   I have a sense or an expectation of of what you're  going to do and so whether it's sales whether it's   customer service um uh even some uh data suggests  in other contacts as well concrete language can   be can be really helpful also make something more  understandable right when we're um we did a big   project looking at what holds attention in online  content we found that concrete language encourages   people to keep engaging and keep reading content  why because it's much more understandable right if   you say something in a concrete way I get what  you're saying and it's easier to keep reading   is this mostly used in the context of one-to-one  communications or can this be used in email   marketing or any other kind of sense if it  can especially if it's like persuasive like   how can we be Concrete in ways outside of customer  service I'm just curious where your thoughts are   on that yes I mean I was I was just mentioning  some work we did looking at tens of thousands   of online articles and looking at what what  holds attention right what keeps people kind   of scrolling or reading what they're they're  seeing and I think this is a big challenge for   marketers in a variety of areas right we send out  a lot of emails and because of certain metrics we   focus a lot on clicks did someone open right  I I recently sent some emails out to my list   what was the open rate oh is it above this or  we're doing a good job you know similarly how   many clicks did we we get but we don't just want  people to open our email right we want people to   read it we don't want people just to click on  something we want them to do something further   once once they've done it so the challenge with  kind of um uh The Click bait world that we've   move towards is there's a lot of incentives to  write something that gets people in but doesn't   hold their attention but in in most cases in  marketing you know we don't just want to get   people's attention we want to hold it right we  don't want them to click on the article my email   we want them to read that content we don't just  want them to you know listen to the beginning of   the pitch and tune out we want them to stay tuned  for for the rest of it and so concrete language   can can help with that it makes it easier  to understand what we're saying it makes our   audience have less work to do and so because of  that they're more likely to take action at the end   so in that kind of context I'm curious maybe you  could give me an example of how that might work   if you were emailing a bunch of your students or  I was emailing a bunch of my audience specifically   about maybe my conference or something like what  would be an example of non-concrete language you   know just or I just want to because the customer  service side makes total mental sense yeah you   know what I mean yeah um you know uh pre-order  this book and we've got some great stuff for you yeah I don't know what stuff is right if I say hey  I've got three things for you I've got you know   I'll give you um uh this guide this other thing  it tells me exactly what I'm getting it's very   specific um and so it's it's less abstract and  more concrete got it so all right that's perfect   so we're gonna explore now another one of the Seas  but just to be clear what we've gone over so far   is we just did concreteness and before that we  did agency and identity classified under the a   for agency now confidence this is a fascinating  one um I think I know what it means but I'm not   100 sure so what does confidence mean in the  context of of what we're talking about here   yeah I think many of us um have this belief that  certain people are just more charismatic right   we have a friend who you know when they talk  everybody listens where there's a colleague at   work that you know when when they get up there  and they're speaking they're just so good at   it everybody everybody sort of pays attention and  does what what they want uh want them to do and so   we have this notion that kind of people are born  with Charisma either they have it or or they don't   um but when you look under the surface a little  bit a lot of individuals that are quote unquote   charismatic leaders um or a lot of people that  others tend to listen to they tend to speak with   a lot of certainty they tend to speak with a  lot of confidence right something it's not that   something might happen or this could work this  will definitely happen you know this is certainly   the best course of action you know I have no  question that we should do x x y z they speak   with a great deal of certainty and confidence and  and because of that we often take their advice   nothing you know I think about uh the doctor's  office right like a lot of times doctors seem to   um speak with confidence after they've diagnosed  whatever you've gone in there for right I mean   like I don't know if they're the best example of  speaking with confidence but um that's what came   to my mind while you were talking and you know  I would love to I think I speak with confidence   because generally speaking when I do speak I feel  like I don't leave a lot of wiggle room like I'm   pretty clear in what I believe the best course  of action to be but um not everybody's like me   you know so like let's let's talk about like how  in the world be concrete yeah yeah so even in the   sentence you just and and the fun thing about uh  think about language has become a little bit of a   language detective right so yeah but but even as  you started talking right you're like I feel like   right that's an example of what we call a hedge ah  so um uh you didn't say I am this you said I feel   like I am I am this and so um uh we can use words  like probably might could possibly but also I   think it seems to me I believe I feel all of those  are examples of Hedges all those are in some sense   types of language that we use words or phrases  to soften something right um uh to soften I mean   we use them all the time I am terrible at this  academics are the worst right academics often say   I think now with confidence by the way I'm trying  to get better I don't do a very good job of it but   um academics are terrible right um uh you know  you listen to most academics being quoted in the   news they said I think this might happen and it's  like by the time they get done you would say well   why would I listen to you if you're not even sure  yourself that this is the right well and you know   what let's pause for a second a lot of us have  been trained as we were younger not to be overly   um Talk talking about herself right so we are  trying to be what's the right word we're trying to   be like not so now yeah trying to be humble well  but let's be careful there's a difference between   being humble right um and being certain right  those are two they're real they're related but   they're separate things right so um first of all  what I would say just finishing up the Hedge bit   is the hedges reduce our impact right the problem  is people are less likely to listen to us because   they think we're less confident and that's why it  goes back to this idea of confidence or certainty   they're sitting there going well if you're hedging  you're not even sure that this is the best course   of action you're not even sure that this is the  right answer right if you're a salesperson you say   I think this would work or you know this might  be the best thing well if you're not even sure   why should I listen to you because you seem less  uh less less certain and so we have to be careful   I'm not I'm not saying we should never hedge  right I actually think Hedges are quite useful   there are times where we want to communicate  uncertainty where we don't know something for   sure but we at least need to be aware of the  that impact that we're having and they're also   there's certain hedges that are signal more  or less certainty and can be used accordingly   okay so how do we speak with confidence without  using Hedges yeah by the way just to be clear uh   let's redefine a hedge is when you choose to  say I could be I might be you're using these   descriptors for lack of better words to kind of  not declare yourself as any one particular thing   like I didn't say I am I have great confidence I  didn't say that I said I feel like I have a lot   of confidence yeah right you hedged yeah  I used to express some uncertainty yeah   um by doing that that's questionable to the  recipient right well maybe I shouldn't listen to   what he says this is the best glass or really cup  you will ever have in your entire life it sounds   like I'm pretty confident this might be the best  cup you could buy well now it sounds like I'm less   confident and so might is an example of Hedges I  think is an example of a hedge um but what we've   been talking about kind of two different types of  Hedges and they're important to separate one is   what I'll call General Hedges might could possibly  another other personal Hedges I think I feel not   just it seems but it seems to me right when you  say it seems like something is true you're saying   generally there's some uncertaint here when you're  saying it seems to me you're associating it with   with yourself and what I think is kind of  interesting here is is if we had to guess   I think we would say when we bring ourselves into  it that must make it worse right because it seems   like it's our own personal opinion uh it makes  it better though doesn't it right why are you   thinking it makes it better because it's just my  opinion now but but you seem confident of that   opinion so yes it is your opinion but you were  confident in that opinion you're saying I think   you're willing to take yourself and Associate  it with that opinion this cup I think this cup   is the best right well maybe you don't think it's  the best but I clearly think it's the best well   we were talking about restaurant examples right  weren't we when we were chatting last time about   how when there's a waitress in the restaurant and  she might or he might say um I think the steak   tonight is the best right we're probably gonna  listen to that yeah and compare that with the   steak might be the best both of those are hedges  right both of those suggest some uncertainty but   you're much more likely to take their advice if  they say I think the steak is is best because they   seem more confident and so what I would say is if  we're going to hedge and we want to communicate   uncertainty sometimes we need to right we can't  say something is certain because it either makes   us seem bad or or maybe we're not so certain  so we want to communicate uncertainty but we   can at least do it in a way that that's more  impactful because because it doesn't undermine   uh people's sense of confidence in US so um we got  the Hedge thing done pretty good let's talk about   um confidence when it comes to present tense and  I believe this is something past tense and present   sense that we were talking about the prepping  yeah so uh you can say something like I liked this   restaurant or I like this restaurant uh I thought  that candidate uh did a good job or I thought that   candidate does a good job um we can use present  tense right I like this restaurant or past tense   I liked this restaurant to talk about our opinions  in a variety of different situations and there's   certainly some situations where something happened  uh in the past or the president we need to refer   to it that way but in many cases like when we're  saying my feelings towards a restaurant we could   say I liked the food or I like the food both of  those are things we we could say well it turns out   that present tense using that presence I like the  restaurant is much more persuasive um why because   it makes us seem more more confident if you said  I liked this restaurant it seems like oh yeah when   you went there the time that you went where I  liked the food the food was good you thought   the food was good if on the other hand you say I  like the food right or the food is good right and   the food was good right if I say the food was  good seems like that time I went the food was   good the food is good it seems like I'm making a  general statement right Not only was the food good   the time I went but the food will be good now and  forevermore for anyone who tries it and because   I'm willing to make that general statement people  think I'm more confident about what I'm what I'm   saying I'm making an assertion right I'm not  just saying I thought the food was good but   I'm making an assertion that you will probably  like the food as well when you go in the future   okay so if we want to communicate confidence in  any of our Communications first of all we need   to be aware of the hedges right the this could be  like that I could be right forget that is right   and secondly uh whenever possible so speak about  your feelings pres in the presence tense instead   of the past tense is there any other way that  we can exude confidence Beyond just the tense   um and the Hedge because I'm thinking to myself  there's got to be there's got to be um maybe it's   the way we communicate I don't know I mean it's I  I'm just curious because there's something that's   hard to trigger you know someone is confident you  can see it you can sense it but sometimes I can't   like reverse engineer why I feel like that person  is confident yeah I mean there are a few more   things right so one is they often respond quickly  so if you ask me a question uh like you just did   and I sit there going yeah yeah yeah exactly I'm  not very confident in my answer right whereas if I   say oh yep here's what it is right away well now I  seem more confident right I I play a little bit of   Poker once a month I play poker with some friends  right and if you ever play poker you know you you   use response speed as a signal for confidence  or someone responds quickly uh oh they seem like   they're pretty confident unless they're unless  they're faking it they seem pretty confident   they're hemming and hawing well they're probably  not sure and so something like response speed   um but also the extremity of what we say right  if I say the food was good versus the food was   excellent right well I seem pretty if I'm I'm  willing to go so far as making extreme judgment   this is the best product you could ever buy  this service will solve all of your problems   right I'm using language that suggests I am super  sure of what I'm saying and if I seem super sure   of what I'm saying you're probably more likely to  listen so do you feel like when we use the right   words in the right way we can incrementally  improve the likelihood that we'll get what we   want I mean because the book is called what to  say to get your way right that's the subtitle   magic words what to say to get your way yeah  do you believe it's as simple as literally just   becoming more aware of the words that we say in  all the different mediums and just consistently   using them and watching the responses that  we get and then we can incrementally improve   yeah I think to a little bit of analogy here with  with baseball right and confidence by the way   and uh and uh a batting average I think often  we we tend to think that certain people are   just good at this stuff they're they're  born this way right they're a good speaker   they're a good writer they are charismatic  I wish I could be that person but I am not   um and it's not so fixed it's much more malleable  right if we understand the power of words and how   to use words we can all increase our impact  in whatever situation we're in now to go back   to that baseball idea though right if someone  understands the signs of hitting do they hit   a home run every time no if someone understands  uh you know they're better at basketball do they   score every time they shoot no they don't but they  score more often right they get on base more often   and so that's exactly what I think these types of  things are right you know can I guarantee you use   one word tomorrow and your entire life changes no  can I guarantee that if you use these words in the   right way you will move in the right direction  as significantly yes lots of academic research   has shown these things and that's what I love  about a book like this is um you know behind all   the things we're talking about there are dozens of  academic studies that have shown this in a variety   of different contexts and so we know it's going to  have a significant impact in in the domains we're   interested in the book is magic words Jonah Burger  b-e-r-g-e-r imagine you could get it anywhere that   you get books is there a special website you want  to send people to if they want to check out your   speaking and Consulting and or book and also is  there a preferred social platform if people want   to connect with you online yeah thank you so the  book is available wherever books are sold you can   find me at jonahburger.com just my name.com and  I'm on both LinkedIn and Twitter at J1 Burger I wasn't there first so I couldn't get j b e r  g e r but uh I'm I'm often J1 b-e-r-g-e-r Jonah   thank you so much for answering all my questions  and giving us a sneak peek into the awesomeness   that's inside your book we're better because of it  thanks so much for having me back I appreciate it

Channel: Social Media Examiner

Views: 7,093

Keywords: social media examiner, social media marketing, social media marketing tips, social media, Jonah Berger, Language Of Persuasion, Writing Persuasive Copy, Marketing Language, Marketing Language Strategy, Sales Language, Sales Language Strategy, Customer Service Language, Customer Service Language Strategy, Business Language, Business Language Strategy, Copy Strategy

Id: 6teWZLgvUso

Length: 45min 34sec (2734 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 16 2023