So I think we could say that knowing your values,
defining them, is the icing on the cake. Man, when I saw that for the first time I was
like "yes! that's it!" You know? That's it. Now maybe you are a good Samba
dancer, maybe you do play football well or soccer. It's a secret that I've
been keeping from everybody, you know. So in today's episode, we are looking forward to
shifting over to talk about mindset. And in fact, mindset is at the center of our teaching
methodology, the RealLife Way. And the reason for that is because it's just something that is
so fundamental in making everything else better, right? Uh, and in particular, within mindset,
we're going to look at values. So what we're hoping to do is to help you to get more insight
into what are the values that you already have that you identify as being your values - cuz each
of us have different values, right - and that you live by. Because if you're able to identify those
and kind of augment their place in your life, it can just, it makes everything so much better. It
makes everything so much more effective. It means that you can be aligned with those values and be
making a bigger impact on yourself, on your life, on the world, of course. And finally, uh, values
are something that are super important because they're like the, they're like a set of glasses,
say that you are wearing, that you put on, and it's kind of, you're seeing the world through
those lenses. If any of us have ever put on our friend's glasses that it's like everything goes
blurry, right? So, you know, if you, maybe you're living your life by not the best values, then you
might see the world in a negative way, you might be very pessimistic, you might not believe in
yourself. But if you're able to adopt values or, um, strengthen values that you do have, but maybe
you're not living by, then you'll start seeing the world in a, in a brighter light, and it'll
allow you to make better decisions, and so on. By the way, if my listening skills are not
failing me right now - did you say augment? Augment. Yeah. (Wow.) Augment
is to increase something. So, Ethan, getting back to this talk about
values, yeah, um, so I think we could say that knowing your values, defining them is the icing
on the cake for many ofus. Wouldn't you agree? It's a very nice expression. What does it
mean if something is the icing on the cake? Yeah. When you take something good and you improve
it, you, you make it better. Just like a cake. Imagine a cake is already great and delicious, but
the icing is the, the thing that you, you know, put on top of it and around it to make it
even more delicious or even more appealing or tasty. So yeah, the icing on the cake, like
you take something good and make it even better. And that said, Thiago, let's get into my
big question for you of the day, which is, what is one core value that you hold dear? And how
has it influenced your life decisions and actions? For me, Ethan, one of my core values is definitely
resilience. And before I talk about that, let me just quickly define how I view resilience.
Resilience for me is about how effectively you handle challenges, obstacles, adversity
in life. Because, you know, we all have problems. We all have obstacles. Yeah. We have
bumps on the road. Yeah. Nobody's life is, um, a hundred percent smooth. But how you deal with
those bumps, how you deal with those challenges, the more resilient you are, the better you tend
to deal or cope, uh, with those challenges. What does cope mean?
Deal with, could be a synonym. You cope with a situation, you deal with it, you handle
it. Yeah. Another part of the definition that I like to think about is also, um, I, I find I, in
my opinion, resilient people tend to recover more quickly as well from setbacks. You know.
Very true. Uh, we all have setbacks in our lives sometimes,
you know, sometimes you are, you know, uh, feeling like you are progressing in life, you know, you
are, you know, doing well, and then something happens that either stops that progress for a
moment or maybe even forces you to take one or two steps back, or get you down a little bit.
Yeah. So I find that the more resilient you are as a person, the quicker you recover, the quicker
you get back on the course, you get back on track and keep moving forward. So for me, that was
definitely, that is definitely one of my core values. And, um, I think it's a value that has
served me very well in my life, professionally speaking, personally speaking. But one example
I can give here to make it more concrete is learning English, because I think by now it's not
a secret anymore that I learned English in Brazil, here in my home country. I've never been abroad.
And back then, 20 years ago when I started, I could have given, or I could, I could
have told myself maybe dozens of excuses not to learn English, you know? Oh, I
didn't have enough money to buy a course, I couldn't hire a teacher, or I didn't have enough
money to travel. So I could have told myself many things, uh, not to learn English. But instead
of that, I decided to take another path, which is, which was the path of, okay, I wanna learn this
language. I think it's gonna be important for me, it's gonna be good for me. I wanna do it. I'm,
you know, let me do it. Yeah. Let me find a way to learn this language, given my circumstances,
my resources at that time. And then I, I thought it might be more challenging for me or more
difficult than for somebody else who has more resources, but that's okay. Or it might take me
longer, maybe somebody else with more resources could do it in three years or two years.
But, you know, my mindset at that time was, even if I took 10 years, I don't care because,
you know, eventually I'm gonna get there to my goal. So this is an example of resilience. I think
that if I hadn't been resilient enough back then, I wouldn't have learned English the way I learned,
and I wouldn't be using English nowadays the way I use for work and for life. Um, that actually
reminds me of a really nice clip from the Pursuit of Happiness. Have you seen that, that
movie, the Pursuit of Happiness with Will Smith? I have, it's a, it's a great one. In fact,
we even have a, a lesson with it. It's one of our most popular lessons on Learn English
with TV Series of all time, which we can link down in the description, if you're watching
this on YouTube or in the show notes, if you're just listening to the audio to check out.
There is a really cool scene, uh, I, I don't know if you remember when he walks in the job, the,
the interview, uh, for the internship program he's applying for, and he's all covered in paint
because he had an incident with his apartment the night before. So he was clearly not dressed
appropriately. And looking at the interview, you know, watching the interview, it was clear
that he didn't have the qualifications necessary for that position. Right? But then he says, he
says something really nice in that scene that really, like, you know, I think it, it defines
very well also what we mean, well, what I mean by resilience. Actually, we have the clip here.
So if T could play for us so that we can listen to it or watch, that'd be nice,
Can I say something? Um, I'm the type of person, if you ask me a question
and I don't know the answer, I'm gonna tell you that I don't know. But I bet you what, I know how
to find the answer and I will find the answer. Man. When I saw that for the first time, I
was like, yes, that's it. You know? That's it! Because, you know, and that's how I, I operate, or
I have operated most of my life, you know, like, I never let these things kind of bring me down,
like, you know, Hey, I'm gonna tell you, I don't know, but I will find the answer. I will find a
way to get the job done, or to be successful at this or that thing. Right? So, and I think that
this is also, it, it shows how confident you are in yourself as well, because, you know, if you
believe in yourself, if you are confident enough, you will, you know, by being in that position
more often. Like, Hey, I don't know, but hey, I can do it. You say you trust yourself enough
to say, I can do it. I can learn this. Okay. So, yeah, I mean, resilience is definitely really
important to me. And, um, if there is one thing that my, I want my kids to learn from me, you
know, my two kids, my son and my daughter, is that, you know, I want them to be resilient
people as well, to develop that tough skin, you know? And to go for what they want in life.
You know, not, you know, what, giving excuses or pointing fingers, you know, to justify maybe
their failures. I don't want them to do that. So. I think for being successful at anything - English
is a great example - resilience is, it's crucial. Uh, I actually took some notes cuz it, it reminded
me of some things when you were discussing that. There's a great quote that says, something along
the lines that "wind extinguishes a candle, but it, um, but it fans a fire". So this, what
this basically is comparing is that, you know, when you have adversity is the wind, so if there's
a, a gust of wind, we might say, you know, so some wind blowing, it would put out a candle, right?
A candle is weak. But a fire, if you're, it can cause like a wildfire, right? It can cause just
like this huge, powerful thing. So the difference between someone who's resilient and someone who,
who's not resilient, then not resilient person would be like the candle, right? They're going to
be thrown into adversity and they'll just go out there to say, I can't do it. That's too big of a
challenge for me. I, I don't have the skills. I'm not naturally talented. I don't have the money,
I don't have this and that other thing that would make it more ideal, right, for me. But, and this
is very much like growth mindset that we talk about a lot. Uh, you know, people who lean into
it saying, you know, I I can do it, uh, as long as I work hard at it, right? That's more like the
person who's going to be like the, the fire. And, and maybe you're even the case that, that that
wind blows and it, it just, it pushes you. There's people, you tell them that they can't,
and they're going to find a way. They're going to go at it forever, you know, until they actually
make it. So, uh, it's really something that if you don't have that already, you need to cultivate it.
You need to just work on your self-talk even of catching yourself if you're saying like, I can't
do this. It's too hard. Uh, I don't have the talents, I don't have the skills, I don't have
the money. And so on to shift that, to say like, I can't do it yet. And finally, the, there's a
really great image, actually maybe, uh, T can, can show it hear, that this reminded me of that's
expectations versus reality. And it shows like a biker - the expectation being that he's, he's
going to his goal, right? And it's like a straight line. But then the reality is it's all these
ups and downs. There's canyons, there's lakes, there's bridges that have to be crossed. There's
mountains that have to be climbed, right? So it tends to be when we have a goal or something,
we think like, oh, it's gonna be this clear, this clear path and everything. But life has
always throws at us obstacles, right? So, uh, those were two things that I thought of. And
(Amazing) that scene, it was like less than 20 seconds. But if, uh, a learner, if there weren't
subtitles there, I think most learners would have a lot of difficulty understanding Will Smith
because he uses so much connected speech there. So, I, I took notes of some of this. I thought we
could actually just maybe step aside from values for just a moment. And I wanted to challenge
you guys to actually try to mimic these entire 15 seconds. Exactly like Will Smith says 'em.
Cuz it's just, even if you're not interested in sounding like an native speaker, it's going
to help you a lot with your listening. So, um, let's see. I have here
the, the text. So he says, he starts out by saying, Can I say something?
Can I say something? But he doesn't say, Can I say something? Which
is how most people learn how to say it in school, right? But he reduces CAN to kin. This is
something that, that we natives do all the time, right? Kin. And it links to the I
and I links to SAY. So Kin-I-say, Kin-I-say something? Can I say something?
Kin- I- say, can I say something? Exactly. And then - I'm the type of person...
I'm the type of person. Here we have schwa, we've talked a lot
about the, the schwa as well. That this is the most common sound in, at least in
American English. And it's this: uh, uh, we use it all the time. So in school you probably
learn to say the, but usually we'll reduce the to thuh, I'm thuh, I'm thuh type of person. So we
have another one there. The OF the V gets dropped and we also just pronounce it as schwa. And that
all links together. I'm thuh type uh person. I am thuh type of person.
You got it. Going back to the scene. So Will Smith says, If you ask me a question.
If you ask me a question. But there's again, a lot of connected speech in
this line. If you, so YOU oftentimes we natives will reduce that to ya or yuh as he does here.
So he says, If yuh, if yuh ask me uh - again, we have the schwa there. A - instead of saying
A, we'll often say uh, and then question If you, if yuh ask me uh question.
If yuh, if yuh ask me uh question. You got it. And I don't know the answer.
So again, this he reduced a lot. So, AND oftentimes we'll say it that way, but oftentimes
we just say an' or 'n. So he says there an', and it links to the I - an' I. And then DON'T
we have a T at the end there. Usually when we have this NT at the end of words, we'll pronounce
that T as what's called a glottal T, it's a sound that's cut off at the back of, we cut the T off
at the back of our throat, right? So it's like uh, uh, uh, uh. And so instead of saying don't, which
a lot of learners I hear say: don't, or can't or isn't. We don't say that strong T in American
English we'll say, don't, can't, isn't, right? So he links all those, those three words together.
And I don't, an' -I- don', an'- I- don'. Again, we have a the here that's reduced to thuh, and
that links to KNOW. An'- I- don' know thuh answer. And I don't know the answer. The answer.
Mm-hmm, exactly. Okay. We have here - I'm going to tell you that I don't know.
I'm gonna tell you that I don't know. Which, of course he doesn't say it like that.
We have going to most learners know that that becomes gonna, right? So, uh, and he reduces
it even more. Oftentimes gonna will reduce to 'unna. So he says, I, instead of saying
I'm going to, he says, I'munna, I'munna. And also like, again, there, the, the, YOU
reduces and links to Tell. So it's tell you. That I, we have an American T there. When we
have a T in American English between two vowel sounds. So here between A and an I, it usually
changes to a D sound. So instead of being That I, it's Thad- I. Don't again with the glottal T
there. Know. I'munna tell you thad-I don' know. Mm-hmm. I'munna tell you that I don't know.
You got it. Okay. And then - But I bet you what, he says, which by the way, what does it mean
if you, if I say I bet you, I bet you what? Like placing a bet, like, you know, you are
willing to bet your money to put your money on the table and say, Hey, I can do this. And
if I can't, you can take my money away. Yeah. Exactly. So he says, But I bet you what...
But I bet you what... He says as Bud- I, so we have an American T
there. And then something really interesting that happens here is oftentimes when we have a
T plus a Y in American English, we change it, it morphs into a -ch- sound. Same actually
happens. If you have a D plus a Y, it morphs into a -j- just sound. So Bet you becomes Bet-chew. And
you'll hear people say this a lot, like bet-chew or betcha. You know? And What - betcha what,
betcha what. So here he says - Bud- I betcha what. But I bet you what.
I know how to find the answer. I know how to find the answer.
So here we have the TO reduces to a schwa sound. So it becomes tuh. But then, because
it's a T between two vowel sounds, between the -uh and the -ow of How - it becomes how-duh, how-duh.
I know how-duh find the answer. So the the other thing that happens there is he drops the D on
Find. And this is probably because oftentimes when you have a D and a T following each other,
you might drop one of them. So he says, fin'-thuh, uh, actually I think here he emphasizes.
So he says, fin'- the, fin'- the answer. I know how- duh fin'- the answer.
I know how to find the answer. And finally, this one has hardly any connected
speech because he's being very emphatic. So when we wanna be emphatic, oftentimes we'll
deliberately not use connected speech, right? So he says - An'- I. So we do have connected
speech there, which we saw before - An' - I, but then in every other word he says, pretty
pretty emphatically. An' - I will find the answer. And I will find the answer.
Can I say something? Um, I'm the type of person, if you ask me a question
and I don't know the answer, I'm gonna tell you that I don't know. But I bet you what I know how
to find the answer and I will find the answer. So again, I wanna challenge you dear
your listener, dear your viewer to, you know, watch the entire scene again and try to
mimic Will Smith try to say it exactly as he did. So we gave you kind of the, the piece by piece
there. If you're watching the video on YouTube, it'll help too. Cause you'll, you'll be
able to see there the connected speech. But doing that, I promise you, if you, if you do that
a few times and you're able to get it really down how he says it, it's going to help you so much
to understand fast-speaking natives. Right? And speaking of understanding, fast-speaking
natives and even feeling more resilient when you're learning English, I highly recommend that
you check out the RealLife English app because you get an interactive transcript for, uh, the
podcast. So you'll be able to follow along as we're speaking and everything and see how we're
pronouncing things. Uh, you get to see all of the most important vocabulary as well. And you get
vocabulary flashcards so you never forget the new words that you're learning. And of course, you
can go have conversations with people from all around the world, so you practice everything that
you're learning anytime, anywhere. So check it out. It's absolutely free to download, just look
for RealLife English in your favorite app store, and we look forward to seeing you there.
All right, Ethan, so I've shared my, one of my core values. What about you? I'm
curious to know what is one core value that you have and how has it influenced your
life and your decisions up until now? Yeah. So I put some reflection into this as
we were preparing for this lesson. And one that's really near and dear to my heart is global
citizenship, which actually, global citizenship is, I think a package really of different values
and everything. But our vision here at RealLife English is to create a world beyond borders.
And obviously, I, I'm one of the co-founders, so I helped to come up with this vision. And that
doesn't mean create a world without borders. We're not trying to, you know, break down and, and have
like a world where anyone can go anywhere. That might be nice at some someday some point, uh,
not needing to worry about passports and visas and so on. But when we say beyond borders, what
we really mean is that we're not limited by our borders. We're not limited by our culture. We're
not limited by the way of thinking in our part of the world. We're able to open our minds to be
able to speak with anyone from anywhere. And I think the big thing here is being a global
citizen is instead of being judgemental, you're curious. You know? So when you're, you're
having a conversation with someone from another country, they're doing something very strange,
that's different from how the people do it in your part of the world, instead of judging them,
you recognize that the the way that I do things, the way that my culture perceives the world
isn't the right way. It's just one way of doing it. And the way that this other person does
it, as long as it's not harming anyone, is also also perfectly valid. You know, we, we all have,
we all come out of these different traditions, these different, uh, value systems, these
different, uh, maybe religions or beliefs. So it's really opening yourself up and, and being
curious. And instead of judging, asking questions, really trying to put yourself in the other
person's shoes, really trying to understand how they see the world. And that's something
that I think is immensely challenging. So it's a value I hold, but it's something that I'm
always working at because it's very easy to, very easy to judge people. It's very easy to just
go by your stereotypes or the stereotypes you've been hearing all your life about it. You know, to
imagine that Thiago is a excellent samba dancer. He, he plays, uh, you know, football like, like
Neymar and, you know, he (Yeah.) has a pet monkey, of course. But obviously, like none of those
things are, are true. Well, not obviously, you know, maybe you are a good samba dancer.
Maybe you do play football well, or soccer. Oh yeah. It's a secret that I've been
keeping from everybody, you know. So coming back to this, there's, uh, a quote
that we like to use all the time here, which is - No matter what divides us, that which unites
us is far greater. And what this means is that, you know, as human beings, as you know, being
this, this same animal that has all these same fundamental problems and desires, you know, if you
have kids, ultimately you just want the best thing for your kids, no matter where you're from. All of
us have, uh, all of us wanna be successful in our lives. All of us want to feel like we matter. All
of us want to feel loved. All of us want to spend time with our friends and, and have meaningful
relationships and so on. All these things that connect us as human beings, there's so much more
important than all the superficial things that make us different depending where we come from,
like, you know, religion, traditions and, uh, and so on. So, if I had to say one core
idea here, I'd say that the big thing is being willing to lean into the discomfort that you
feel when someone has a different worldview from you. So, in, in other words could say, stepping
outside of your comfort zone and really being willing to challenge your assumptions.
I really like that. It's so beautiful. Um, and it's a, it's about going deeper, right?
Because, uh, yes, maybe superficially speaking, we are different, right? Different countries,
different cultures, even, you know, the looks, right? But if you dig a little bit deeper, yeah,
you will see that there are some fundamental truths that everybody on earth, every human
being on earth shares. Like, you know, those examples you gave, right? So being able to
get past that initial barrier and realize that, hey, I mean, we, we actually have more in
common than we think, or than I thought. It allows you to start seeing that
it's really fascinating actually, all the different ways of operating and seeing the
world and so on. So if you're able to, you know, get off of your high horse, as we might say,
stop, stop being judgmental of people. Stop thinking that yours is the ultimate truth and so
on, it allows you to get to have more fun with it, to be, to be curious, to learn different ways of
doing things and so on. And, um, that's one of the really beautiful things about being able to speak
English as it allows you to open to yourself, up to all these different ways of, of seeing the
world, all these different realities. This whole, this whole, uh, conversation about stepping
outside of your comfort zone. It really reminds me of one of my favorite movies, which
is called Into the Wild. So we prepared a clip from that as well. I'll just, in case any of you
aren't familiar with this movie, in a nutshell, it's about a guy who is graduating college. You
know, he has parents who have these expectations that he should get a really good job, you know,
be a doctor or a lawyer or something like that. But he kind of rebels against that. He just
sees all of this as being kind of consumerist, capitalist culture. And he's wanting to go out
and, and have an adventure. He takes his car out to the desert, he burns it, he gives away all
of his money. Like he's, he's just completely breaking himself away from society. He changes his
name, his name's Chris, but he changes his name to Alexander Supertramp. And he, it's, uh, he's
working towards a dream. He wants to go to Alaska and live out in the wilderness, but throughout
the movie, and it's actually based on a book and a true story, he meets all these different people
along his way who have different impacts on him. And it's, it's like a lot of different beautiful
stories that happen within this movie. So the scene that I chose is from, uh, he's, I
believe in Arizona staying with this, this older man who's a widower, which means his, his wife
died, and he, he lives alone. And so they, they kind of cult... they cultivate, I got tongue-tied
there. They foster their, you could say, uh, relationship. And so Alexander Supertramp,
he's about to leave, but you know, they go out, um, outside together and Ron says, you know, what
are you running from? Why? What is the reason that you don't have this relationship anymore with
your family and that you're trying to go to Alaska? What are you running from? And Alexander
turns it around on him and says, like, I know what you're running from. So that's what we're going to
going to see. He challenges him, challenges him to break out of his stagnant existence there that
he's gotten into. But before we watch that clip, we wanted to give a very special thanks to one of
our viewers, listeners and app users who also is named Thiago. So obviously it's not from, not
from you, Thiago, from a different Thiago, uh, who is also from Brazil. So he even sent us in
an audio reading his review. So let's roll it. Hi everyone! I'm Thiago and I'm from
Brazil. My favorite part of the app is the possibility to practice the language using
podcasts to improve my level of comprehension. It's also the chance to talk to people all
around the world in English. Before the App I wasn't confident enough to talk to people
in English. And now my English is way better than I thought it was before this experience
with RealLife English. I love it. Aww yeah! All right, Thiago, thank you so much for the
wonderful shout out and testimonial. And it's amazing to see that we share the same name.
If you want us to shout you out, then all you have to do is download the app, again it's
free. And if you enjoy the experience, leave us a 5-star review so we can find you and we can also
give our thanks here on the podcast. Alright, so now we're going to have Ice T, who's here in the
studio with us. Roll that clip of Into the Wild. You're gonna live a long time, Ron. You should
make a radical change in your lifestyle. I mean, the core of man's spirit comes from new
experiences, and there you are, stubborn old man sitting on your butt. Sitting on my butt? Yeah.
Ha. I'll show you sitting on my butt. Hooked up an old man. I'll show you. Come on then. Come on.
That's a beautiful scene. Uh, just to give the listeners hear some visual context there.
So, the young guy, uh, Chris, his name, right? He's at the top of a hill, and then the
old guy hear, Ron, yeah, the elderly guy, he, he's at the bottom. And, and he actually climbs
up, he actually climbs up the hill when he says, I'll show you. Yeah? And he goes up and then he
joins, uh, Supertramp on, you know, up there, and then they sit together, have a, a nice
chat. Yeah. That is such a beautiful scene. Yeah. I highly recommend that if you haven't
watched it yet to check it out, cuz it's the whole movie is just like, so inspiring. Uh, but
the reason I chose this scene in particular is because I love this quote that he says, "The core
of man's spirit comes from new experiences", which I think is really everything that we're talking
about, about stepping outside of your comfort zone, uh, and, you know, experiencing new things,
meeting new people from other places and so on, just like he does. He's just in the States, but
he's still, the States, it's a big country, he's able to meet all these really different people
who teach him different things. So what, what does that mean, by the way, if you say that the
core of something, the core of man's spirit? Let's say maybe the main part of something.
Yeah? The main part of something is the core, the fundamental thing, quality or truth, let's say.
And he calls him a stubborn old man. I think something like that, right? What
does it mean if someone is stubborn? If you are stubborn, you are stuck in your ways.
And, yeah, it's very hard to change your mind, to change your opinion. And, that's actually,
uh, it's usually used in a negative way, yeah, this word, because, you know, it
shows that you are inflexible, you are not open to other points of view,
other types of opinion. You are stubborn. We even have an expression we could use if
you're wanting to be even more emphatic, you can say someone is stubborn as a mule. A mule
is a, an animal, like a, I think it's crossed between a horse and a donkey. And, uh, apparently
these are very stubborn animals. They're, if they don't wanna move, for example, it's very
difficult to get them to move, right? They're just stubborn. And then people who are watching
on YouTube, they saw both of us were laughing when he says, sitting on your butt. What does
that mean if someone's sitting on their butt? Literally your butt is your behind, right? And,
uh, sitting on your butt is like a lazy person, yeah, you're just sitting on her butt, like
not doing anything, like sitting down and maybe watching TV all day long. Yeah. Or not
(Right?) doing much with your life, yeah, just sitting on your butt. It's a fun expression.
And I, I really like too, uh, the way that he says this cuz he is as often happens, right, when we
have these words ending in -ing we will drop the G. So he just said, sittin' on. And, uh, he
reduces again, the your, like we saw before, we reduce you, we also reduce your, so he said,
sittin' on yir butt, sittin' on yir butt. And something here too that I thought I would
quickly point out is a lot of learners, I think because for example, in Spanish, you
don't have a word that you'd use for that's different between butt, butt, uh, butt and
ass, for example. And so I hear some learners will use the word ass, but ass is actually a
curse word in English, right? So, uh, yeah, ass, you, you can use if you're with, you
know, people who you have a good relationship with and everything, but in other cases,
butt is a softer word we could say, right? That reminds me of maybe a, a previous episode
we did where you mentioned this, right, Ethan? Um, also those cultural insights, yeah, like,
you know, for example, (Yeah.) cursing too lightly. Yeah. Like, you know, be careful with
the word ass, yeah? Don't use it so lightly. Yeah. And just like in, in ending the scene, uh, Ron
says, "I'll show you!" - what does that mean? So when somebody, um, challenges you or dares you
to do something, and you accept that challenge, you can say, Oh, yeah? You think I cannot do this?
I'll show you! Watch me. So, it's a great phrase to accept the challenge and do it. And watching
the scene is really nice because the, the, you know, Ron, he says, Oh yeah? I'll show you!
And then he does climb up the hill. Yeah? it despite difficulty, right? It's
actually, he's quite resilient. In that case, we could circle back.
There you go. Yeah. Beautiful. The last thing I took note of is that, uh,
Alexander says, you are going to live a long time, but he says this really quickly, people might have
noticed this. He says, you're gonna live a long time. So he reduces the You're to yir, and going
to of course becomes gonna, uh, the live and a - a becomes schwa, and they, they link together. So
Live-uh long time. You're gonna live a long time. You're, you're gonna live, you're gonna live a
long time. (Nice.) So Ethan, okay. Uh, this is all nice and beautiful. Yeah. Get in touch with
your adventurous side, seek out adventure. But does that mean that now all of us have to go into
the woods or the wilderness, as you said earlier, and build our cabins there, not talk to
anybody anymore in order to be adventurous? I mean, that might be right for some people who
are listening or watching, you know, maybe that's, that's what you need right now. But I think
there's so many different kinds of adventure, right? Um, for example, having a kid is a huge
new adventure in your life. Even, you know, a a few years ago I got, I got a dog. I think I
underestimated the adventure that, that getting a puppy is as well, you know. So bringing
someone, a new family member in, that's a, that's a huge adventure. Uh, starting a business,
for example, maybe you've been, you know, in a, in a job, you're, you're stuck in a rut. You just
aren't happy with your job. You have this idea for something that you're, you're really passionate
about and you'd love to go do it. That would be a, a huge adventure, right? Or, or even just
sometimes it, it doesn't have to be something huge, but learning a new language or learning to
play a guitar or another instrument that you've always wanted to learn, that can be an adventure.
So I think it depends where you are in your life, maybe how resilient you are or how, um, how
much of a tolerance that you have for doing something new or, or challenging and so on.
So you can always start with something small, but I think that, you know, asking yourself,
what am I doing today to step outside of my comfort zone in some way? That could be doing a
new workout. It could be, we talked a few episodes ago about, you know, making the decision to take
the stairs instead of the elevator. That can be for some people stepping outside of their comfort
zone. It can be an adventure. So I think it, it really just depends. Start where you're at, right?
That's amazing, you know. So, it's about challenging your assumptions, getting out
of her comfort zone, trying new things, being open to new experiences, always learning,
learning new things. So yeah, that's what we mean by being adventurous. Yeah? It can take the more
literal sense of the word. Yeah? Literally. Yeah. If maybe that's what you need, like Ethan said, or
maybe it's just about that. Yeah. Like, you know, experimenting new things, learning new things.
Yeah. Step outside of your comfort zone. Big or small. Alright, so let's
jump into today's big challenge. So for today's big challenge, actually, before we
even get into the big challenge in preparing for this, Thiago, you had found a really nice
quote from David Brooks, who's actually a journalist from the New York Times. I think most
people are familiar with that publication and a writer. Uh, so do you want to share that?
Yeah. It was really cool because, you know, in this article, uh, he's talking about the
difference between your resume virtues and your eulogy virtues. Just to contextualize here, your
resume is your curriculum. Yeah. Your CV. Yeah. When youapply for a job, you have that document,
that piece of paper with your background, you know, work background, educational background,
that's your resume. So he calls a resume virtues and the eulogy virtues. Eulogy is, uh, usually
a speech, uh, that is given when somebody passes away or dies. Yeah. You know, there's usually
somebody there, um, speaking some nice words about that person who has just, uh, passed away.
That's your eulogy. Now it's really cool because, you know, he compares the difference here. Yeah.
He explains the difference. And he says that we should focus more in life on developing our eulogy
virtues instead of resume virtues. So let me read here, uh, the, the paragraph where he defines
that. So here it is. "The resume virtues are the ones you list on your resume, the skills that
you bring to the job market and that contribute to external success. The eulogy virtues are deeper.
They're the virtues that get talked about at your funeral, the ones that exist at the core of your
being.- that's the word, there's that word again, right, Ethan? Core. At the core of her being...
"whether you are kind, brave, honest, or faithful. What kind of relationships you formed."
He uses the word virtues here, but virtues, it's, it's kinda like a synonym, right, for
values. So it's basically the things, the resume values, I think of those is kind of like the
values that you say you have. But then when push comes to shove, we'd say, when you're actually
put to the test to exhibit that value in some way, you, you don't, you know, you just tell
people, this is something about you, but you don't actually walk the talk with it.
So, for example, if someone says, oh yes, I'm, I'm very adventurous, but then you can never get
them to try anything new. You know, they say, you say, oh, let's go out for sushi. And they're like,
no, let's just have, you know, maybe some pasta or something more, more comfortable or something.
It's like, oh, you know, don't you say you're, you're trying to be more adventurous? Let's go out
and have, have something new. Have some kimchi. Uh. So we wanted to jump in today, uh, jumping in
today's big challenge, the big challenge that we want to give you all is something that's called
the funeral exercise. And actually, I don't know if this originally comes from there, but the first
place I heard of it was from the Seven Habits of Highly Affected People, a book that is very near
and dear to our hearts because it's got it's chock-full of important values for living a
successful or just, you know, a meaningful, happy life. And so he calls this the funeral exercise.
And it's a way for you to develop or even identify what are these eulogy virtues that you have. And
basically all you have to do, you, you can even like close your eyes for a moment and imagine, you
know, you're, you're walking into a church, you're walking into a place where a funeral is being
held, and you know, there's lots of people there, there's people crying. It's very somber, sort of
ambiance I could say. Uh, and, you know, you walk up to the casket. The casket is the, the place
where the dead person is exhibit, is exhibited. Sometimes you have a funeral with an open casket.
So that would be the case at this one. You walk up to the casket to show you respects to the person
who's passed. And to your shock, you see that the person inside is you. So you're at your own
funeral. And basically what you're doing in this exercise is you're imagining what are the, what
are the conditions that are happening here? What do you want people to be saying at your funeral?
What do you want people to remember about you? What kind of things will they say that you valued?
Or what were the contributions that you made to your community or to society? Um, what will they
say about your work? Who are even the people that you want there? You know? And, and like, you can,
you can really get down into the details and think of each of these person, the relationship they
had. What do you want each of these people to say about you? So you can go really deep with this.
It's a really powerful reflection. Uh, I've, I've done this myself. And, you know, once you've
done that, you'll have much clearer, like, what are the things actually, when push comes
to shove? Like, actually when I die, what are the things that I really value and I want people
to remember me for? And, you know, that gives you kind of a map is like, okay, I should actually be
trying to cultivate these things more. Be trying to exhibit them more. Be trying to live a life
more aligned with these values. We, we, we highly recommend you actually, you know, sit down,
grab a piece of paper and do this exercise. It's going to make a huge, like, possibly can
make a huge impact on your life. And if you do, we would love it if you just shared something that
you learned in doing this exercise with us. So you can, if you're just listening to the audio,
you can write us at hello@reallifeglobal.com. We would love to receive your email. We're really
looking forward to what kind of insights you have. And if you're watching on YouTube, then all you
have to do is comment below. We read every comment that you guys send us. So again, we're really
looking forward to hear what kind of impact this exercise has on y'all. And before we go, we
just wanted to wrap up by sharing some comments that we were really grateful for in our last
lesson. So I'll throw that over to you, Thiago. Allright guys, So we have some wonderful
comments here. For example, Vivian says, "Since I've discovered her podcast, I've
started to live my English". Miguel says, "You are all special in my life. Since I
started to listen to your podcast, I've gained a lot of confidence in myself". Finally,
Grace says, "You guys have changed the way I learn English forever. Thank you." (Wow.) Thank you so
much. Yeah. These are (Yeah) wonderful comments. We would love to see your comments too, if
you want to throw them down in the comments, or again, you can email them to us and maybe
we'll read it in one of our future episodes. And I actually have a question here from
Abigail, another follower. She wants to send us a voice message, but she doesn't
know how. How can she and other viewers and followers here send us a voice message?
It's so nice that Abigail actually asked about that. So if you want to send us a voice
message again, the best way would be by email to hello@reallifeglobal.com. You can record
this on your computer. Uh, there's obviously many different softwares, a free one that you could use
as Audacity if you don't have any voice recording software, or you can do it on your phone and then
send it to us, whatever works for you. But yeah, we'd love to receive your voice, your voice
note to your voice message. All right guys, so we really hope that you, you know, you do
some reflection a little bit about your values, hope that you got inspired today even on some new
values that you can cultivate or some values that you wanna spend more time with. And we hope that
this podcast, that we were able to have some sort of impact on you and inspire you to some sort of
change. It's going to help you to live a better, happier life or help you to help others. So thanks
so much for joining us again, and we look forward to seeing you on the next episode of The RealLife
English Podcast. 1, 2, 3 Aww (Aww) yeah (yeah)!
