The Insane Story of 'Red Alert' Terribly Summarized.

what makes a man is it his wealth his looks the love of his friends and family wrong all those are wrong there was only one thing that truly defines a man [Music] I use alternate history in my videos to discuss real world questions makes us think about how we got to where we are today perspective on how events shape who we are as people nations cultures this isn't one of those videos we're going to talk about another part of alternate history the part where giant Japanese samurai max invade Berlin where Hitler is killed by a handshake or cutscenes look like they're filmed for an 80s porno when I was 10 I didn't carry all blue my freakin mind command & Conquer [Music] now if you don't know what I'm talking about that's okay I don't blame you for not knowing CNC hasn't been that relevant this decade since EA drove the franchise into an early grave like it was gonna talk I'm escaping to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism spikes I want to enlighten you on a blessed series that place the seed of that alternate history craziness into my young impressionable mind the red alert series is it realistic no does it have to be of course not this was not really a video about lore since it really isn't a lot of it maybe I just want to talk about it's my channel who cares [Music] most people agree World War two wasn't the best time and in a post-war 1946 in the middle of the desert the man himself Albert Einstein wanted to live in a world where such a tragedy never occurred and so he came up with an idea how machine to travel through time and he built that machine to travel back in time to undo the future that is a coup or Hitler he goes back in time and kills Hitler before he can mess everything up but Cody if he went back in time to kill Hitler and everything changed then why would he ever need to go back if he came from a present that never heard of Hitler it's a strategy game from the 90s don't think about it because Hitler now never came to power instead of Nazi Germany waging war against everyone causing World War two the Soviet Union decides to invade all of Europe each command and conquer game has multiple endings because you can play as both sides and since there is multiple games well some endings just aren't going to be canon if you play as the Soviets then hotdogs Congrats baby you get to lead the invasion of Europe country by country using your strangely advanced technology like iron curtains and Tesla coils as you slowly make your way to stop for exit along the way your contemporaries will die but because you are the main player you survive Stalin's wrath drunkenness way with women by playing the game well no Stalin such a way with words by the conclusion you have successfully conquered Britain the USSR now controls all of Europe as for Stalin oops well uh what about the Allied campaign as commander you successfully beat back the Soviets using their own weapons against them preventing them from bombing Britain you've seen enough of these resistance storylines you can kind of get the deal or Stalin boy just can't catch a break there really isn't much to be said because the plot doesn't really matter [Music] the state of the world is either going to be a lies win or Soviets win but the games do pick a favorite because you can't just have the Soviets win that would be boring this is Dugan hey Alex it's me Reggie [Music] it's been 30 years since the end of the war and what do you know we're going with the Allied victory plod which means this is how Stalin died and the Allies replaced him with a puppet called Alexander Romanov if you can't tell by the name he's a descendant of the Romanovs that the soviets overthrew in the first place to reduce you to my little friend you see sad well why don't you know it the Soviets invaded ghin and the US president finds out in a pretty casual way we're supposed to be allies you maniac I'm the one that put you into office mr. president we Romanovs have our legacy to consider every I don't give a good nickel about your legacy yeah I'd react somewhat mildly annoyed finding out the u.s. is getting invaded on two fronts as well nickel about your legacy the u.s. try to use their nukes except they can't because Yuri the psychic yes there are psychics don't question it Yuri gives the top-secret nuclear bases a call and brainwashes them to do this doors are closed and thus begins our conflict all right you know the drill two campaigns two outcomes let's do it whoa uh-oh what's a good old boy to do the Reds are on your shore commander after taking a few places back from the Soviets including the Statue of Liberty which really has no strategic importance that old scoundrel Yuri uses mind control on the president and the top generals the war is over what I've come to realize is that the commies and us walk the same things so how'd you read it well we created a psychic beacon which does pretty much what it sounds like they build one in Chicago got to go stop them darn the United States was Romanovs first target join our fight or we will not be his last so after the European powers somehow not under control of the Soviets even though the Soviets now control the u.s. decide hey maybe we should help they hop on board with the Americans the best way to take the Soviets down is the chop the head off of course and guess who's going to help with that I have something too how shall we say even so score yeah guess that time-travelling added 20 years to his life and made him look like lou albano so you take DC back retake some places in the US and now our task to help Einstein as he creates a chrono sphere pretty much the same machine as last game but this time it can transport a anything plot twist you transport your forces into Moscow capture the city and sneaky Romanov himself [Music] so what about the Soviet campaign well there isn't much different except you conquer a little bit of Europe have a little fun in Paris and Tesla coils Yuri over those Romanov leading to you the commander now fighting against him in the end Yuri is defeated nuked all's left is his brain for some reason but hey at least now that everyone else is gone you are the sole leader of the Soviet Union Congrats comrade what the devil is going on lieutenant mr. president I'm sure you all recognize this man this is an expansion that takes place after the Allied victory and it's it's something let's just go through this in a nice neat order ol Yuri is up to his old shenanigans again after building mind-control devices across the entire world he basically brainwashes everybody so what do you do on an endgame of course your forces traveled back in time to start a red alert to when the Soviets are invading Yuri is still brainwashing everybody but using Hollywood and subliminal messages he's begun to use the media to spread subliminal propaganda here's a sample with the subliminal mind control properties filtered out turns out knockoff Bill Gates is in trouble because Yuri is threatening to nuke him unless he gives him money Lou albano was involved again the war ends with the Soviets and Americans banding together to fight yuri yuri is captured in his secret antarctica base and bing-bang-boom is defeated thanks to you commander he won't be able to mine control the fly oh yeah then the timelines merge for some reason [Music] the Soviet campaign isn't that different except Yuri is defeated by the Russians and you the commander or the sole leader of the Soviet dominated world Yuri tries to escape in his own time machine and is ate by a t-rex comrade general a new world order awaits [Music] oh boy it's the end of Red Alert two or one really any allied campaign in this timeline and the Soviets are once again on the brink of defeat what's a leader to do what's a tim curry to do simple an Einstein and travel back in time to kill Einstein didn't see that coming did you old man you see Einstein was what allowed the Allies to have their powerful weapons their nukes their transportation machines their diabetes if Einstein is gone then the Soviets will have an advantage and in no way would anything possibly go wrong we created weaves yes that's right in the world without atomic bombs somehow the Japanese Empire was able to rise out of horrendous crushing defeat to become the Empire of the Rising Sun even though the Soviets invading manchuria was actually the main reason for their surrender not the bombs but that's okay no nukes means anime max all right why not thanks Tim Curry you've ruined everything so yeah there's three campaigns in this game all of them are not that deep considering a certain company took over and there's one more campaign now slope Soviets are in control of Europe and Britain once again is the last bastion gotta just go with what you know I guess typical events happen you once again if beat back the Soviets this time with measles in the most realistic part of this whole franchise the Allies and Soviets set aside their differences to fight against anime Japan is soon pushed back president Ackerman and yes this is JK Simmons most defining role vote for me if you want to live it was full helicopter rides and betrays the Soviets be done so I'm gonna wipe those Soviet office or myself using a laser coming out of Mount Rushmore uh bored teddy oh yeah so allies fight amongst each other and Jenny McCarthy kills the president I think she had a child sneeze on him well uh-oh the Soviets betray you anyway after some transportation in the Leningrad gee where did I see this before both leaders are imprisoned in ice and the vice president of the u.s. takes over so Ackerman's little bout of patriotism transcends timelines I guess and there's still a war on three fronts so now Japan has a front end Leningrad and Moscow Flying Fortresses beat geography and logistics I guess but moving on after some shenanigans some betrayal some fun times the Soviets decide that they need to assassinate the Emperor and did you think it would be so easy but George Takei isn't going down without a fight and then the greatest betrayal of all thank you so thoroughly and brutally dispatching my enemies but now I'm afraid you have outlived your usefulness thought we were friends Tim Curry I did everything for you and this is how you repay me leaders betray and everyone really seems to be the running thing in this game well Tim Curry is beat on his real-life volcano fortress and all is resolved huh that was easy once again you control the Soviet Union but oh no here comes the [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music]

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Views: 1,997,135

Rating: 4.924273 out of 5

Keywords: Red Alert, Red Alert Series, Command and Conquer, Command and Conquer Red Alert, Red Alert Lore, Alternate history, AlternateHistoryHub, Red Alert campaign, video game comedy, alternatehistoryhub red alert, tim curry, im escaping to the one place not corrupted by capitalism space, tim curry space, alternate history fiction, command and conquer history, command and conquer lore, command and conquer red alert, red alert 3, red alert 2

Id: W1N8oxUs6aQ

Length: 14min 53sec (893 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 27 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/Avorius]

Kane himself seizes power

Cody: "that's boring"

[u/Smastian]

This is of great religious importance.

[u/TheHairyManrilla]

I feel like the best thing that came out of Red Alert 3 was the Soviet March

[u/Kpenney]

Just saw this in my youtube feed. The intro killed me

[u/TChen114]

That was an apt metaphor with what E(pstein)A did to this franchise.

[u/TheNewMann]

they will not a red alert 4