THE ILLUMINATI, Robots replacing humans, Alexa - Bill Burr

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you know that illuminati level where they pay like 9 grand fucking eggs you know and then afterwards you go up and shake his hand and see how you want to put a pipeline through a teepee right and he lets it happen because you gave him all this money for eggs right titans of industry and then afterwards and they all go out and they then they do the speech circuit that's how they all make money they go back to the guys that bought the eggs eight years earlier right and they give this stupid speeches right is it people in the crowd or eating like a deep-fried eagle right they don't care about America and no that's what kills me about Obama all this stuff that showed him like he's his hero you know and I mean every like picture from now he's always like kayaking you know looks like an erectile disfunction add you know like this guide into like he didn't do all these drone bombings like with those terrorists will they playing hacky sack I don't know you want some soft-shell crab you know like he wasn't part of that sorry sis why I don't know talk politics because I'm into conspiracy theory man oh yeah howdy Alex Jones deep or I think that whoever runs this is a robot and didn't like map out what human beings are shaped like which is why they they sorta had an idea of what shares were and that's what this show is making me paranoid no I don't do like that the moon is made out of cheese or anything like that I just think people are inherently evil and if they get if they get the opportunity to take more they're gonna do it and I think yeah I think that that's what's going on no don't pay attention to politics because it's no there's nothing that you were tried to watch that guy testifying today that was one of the most boring things I've ever seen in my life it's like why don't they just say it like did the Russians fuck with the election they don't they got six it's like I think they do that on purpose so no one pays attention and it's somewhere in the they sort of whisper it like nine hours in did the Russians fuck with it okay and then they just sort of plow through was that what he was about wasn't it about that something like that they had to the FBI or something yeah James Comey the former director of the FBI I just know he's six eight which was hilarious mungus I just pictured in the police academy like when he had to go over that giant all of him just like stepping over it maybe anybody got Manos custom sweatshirts huge legs today at some point on you're too tall to be a cop you can't be using me on undercover is his whole head sticking out of the car what's with that 7-foot guy over there who keeps following us around I'm starting to feel like I can't blend in at 6:00 8:00 right you can't do a stakeout at all so going back to the special you said they you know you felt like it was a mistake because you shouldn't cover politics does that mean that there's no politics in the future of any of your specials at all I don't know I don't know I might if something like I the bed I'm doing now as I talk about Hillary cuz I'm like fascinated not by who wins it's like by who loses just the level of Fame that you had you know at everybody caring and there's news trucks and all that and all of a sudden the second you lose as you're giving your speech like it oh we've fought a good fight they're like wrapping up wire and all to all the fans are driving away it's like it's like you were in in sync and you weren't Justin Timberlake's and then you got to wait for his movie career to dip so you could do a cruise or some shit it just fascinates me that that dream didn't come true and she's married to a guy where it did come true and they got to be in the same house and the tension of that it's just got to be excruciating he's arguably one of the reasons that you might have lost as well yeah cuz she didn't involve him yeah that's like when the Rams didn't didn't give the ball to Marshall fuck it's like why wouldn't you do that this guy's a piece of Beast he had the job for eight years he got impeached they still couldn't kick him out he fucks around all the time and women still love him I mean the guy is he's like bulletproof you already saw Al Gore not loot use him and lose why would you do that again stupid move stupid move yeah then they tried to blame racist white people that was the dumbest Theory ever it's like where would all those racist the last two election when they could have voted against a black guy they were fine with that but this white woman is going to take my jet skis right I love this - texting for the entire interview it's just trying to keep the attentions on Millennials it's like impossible look at him he's already got the change he's probably got his own record label he's like making deals as we speak he's got championship rings on I don't know what you're doing do but I want your life man you're crushing it so you and the pie can not get comfortable in this fucking chair this is just like one of the worst things this should be like hitting museum is like the prototype this is what this was the awful level of comfort we went from a log to this and then eventually they got cushions it's another guy looking at his phone I swear to God through the day Jesus comes back if he ever does if he's even a real person like 90% of people are gonna miss it they're gonna walk right if he's gonna be walking on the water and immediately walking by him and not even gonna see it oh yeah there's a drop-off and faint for Jesus at that point everyone was everyone was paying attention now no one gives a shit ah there we go no but now this is like the ego one now I'm gonna be sitting above you you do not have come with two it's fun it's like sir the one the one comedy through-line that's working here is me shitting on this chair why would you take that for me this is you're just totally going against the grain I understand it but you got on camera so I think you get paid even though this is online because I know you're kind of I want to say you're into conspiracy theories but you're into looking at not just accepting things you're like you kind of see the bigger picture don't handle a position of power well yeah I'm a good example of it everybody if you you know it's not something human beings are good at generally speaking some people every once in a while you'll get like a sink that is but like no I think you know either it's absolute chaos out there or I think that the reason why they're the richest people are concerned about what they're doing to the environment is because they're going to replace us with robots it's what I think I know sounds knocking nuts but I don't they got to replace this and then they're gonna live and then there's gonna be a group of us where our job is gonna be to reproduce so they have organs that they can harvest God be sure this is a Matt Damon sci-fi movie at some point robot saying I'm right I'm just saying like it's a possibility just look at like well if you look at the shit that corporations do yeah yeah you know to the drinking water and in prolonging wars and in in and all the shit that they fuckin do you know getting these guys bought and paid for all these fucking guys have been president they all come out they worth like eight and bomb is worth a eighty million the Clinton with hundreds of millions and pushes and worth on so how do you do that you were in public service you made you made five hundred grand a year at the highest paid level as a president for eight years that's four million bucks I don't know you know if you didn't pay taxes yeah how do you manage you get that thing to multiply by 4 to 8 and then well like though these speaking engagements of people who fucking put them in hoppy it's like they're watching the frat boy don't even try to hide it yeah so so I imagine you don't have an Amazon Alexa in your house what is that oh that's that lady that makes you breakfast all your shit and yeah you're never gonna be able to run for president there's many reasons why I can't but yeah you ever going to let that thing's gonna do is just totally record everything that you say hmm everything that you say in your house okay and then then they're just gonna have key words yeah they'll type in the N word I'll type in whatever the fuck you said whatever I don't know what you say at home I don't know why I say well Alexis will ya don't have anything and they'll just string it together they don't have enough you'll say it if said enough shit right he's exactly right don't snow it together Howard Stern does it what's that it takes like sound bites and strings them together to make you know yeah I mean like there there's no reason why yeah if there's one hey that's that's what they're going to there was one case where I got actually solved a murder because a person who got killed had an Alexa and it like and it recorded the murder so they went in they got the recording even though you're like God that's not recording turns out oh yeah yes it is it one of those fucking people who makes the flat-screen TVs got busted they were watching you on the camera watching TV no what if you're banging your wife what are they doing and the fact that this is just in the fact that you know if one person gets your address and everybody gets your address and they're selling your private information with all the stalkers and psychos out there like yeah but like they put politicians in office so they don't get in trouble for all the horrible shit that they're doing which is why I think robots yeah they'll take over and they'll harvest our organs where they bring the personal trumpet I think became president anytime there's a roast mm-hmm the problem is okay we're gonna roast Adam right there's only so many angles we all know him the same fucking way notice or Alexis I'm sure Alexis could do fucking tomorrow so you have to have another person that gets invited right who's always excited that they were invited but don't realize the reason why they were invited right is because it's gonna be open season on yeah and I Orton you love the at the Pamela Anderson Rose yeah the situation from Jersey Shore yeah carrot-top got it bad one time and it was like it was just like and Donald Trump got invited to that Obama thing and if you notice as far as I mean obviously wasn't there but it looked like they sat him right in the middle of the fucking room so that Seth Meyers could find the baby was perfectly lit like was a layup and I think that he was he was so fucking mad he didn't even know he ran for probably was so fucked up since then like I don't know when that was but like within four years of that he's walking into Obama's house like see you later I mean it was I was like a fucking it was like the end of Empire Strikes Back Peter was just like wow man I can't wait to see the next one this yeah well I just they're making a fucking robot of you right now and all I found out was that I'm the whitest person that's ever been built like that the most diverse thing from me was 1% Scandinavian it was all British and just nothing right they just sent me back a picture of Nelson what happened to white people's self-esteem just nothing just shitting all over those kinds of be a little bit exotic just to something no one's ever going back said yeah shit it over here you just order a coffee women start feigning are you worried about the world that we're leading into yes yeah tremendously robots social media microchipping all of this stuff that 10 years ago people thought I was out of my mind and now you're just seeing it happened that place in Wisconsin some sort of company these please fucking morons agree to get microchipped it's just the dumb of the one in the hand where they're going up to gay machines like this is you know dude you know in the future there's gonna be no cash and they're just gonna have all your money on that thing and then bullies are just gonna be grabbing your hand swing yeah I have to be a thing oh if they cut your hand off that the chip shuts off because guys look just psychos will cut people's hands off you know and tie a tourniquet if they give a shit about you bleeding out he'll just walk around with your hand and when nobody's looking they're just gonna take it out so painful stuff you know I'm with you with the technology thing because like arguably me and you are both a product of the internet like we got popular through people putting out clips up of stand-up and that's how we got the following and all that type of stuff but I'm not a big Internet guy I think it's not good for society see I'll tell you why because what happens with the Internet is it used to be we lived in a world where let's say you fuck the pig right feels like an accomplishment yeah so yeah you fuck a pig now personally fuck the pig used to feel alone in society used to go I shouldn't fuck pigs probably I'm the only person in the world who fucks pigs and now they can get on the internet and go who else fucks pigs and now they're part of a community you know what it is the internet lets you delve into the darkest parts of your mind and it's not good and it's like you've been on a you know not a porn I've watched I might as I worked on vice squad for the last 30 years and it kills a party you know and I just think that I don't know I think social media was like a good experiment but it didn't it just doesn't work it no we shouldn't know that many people we shouldn't and I don't think people should be allowed to make comments anymore I think we need a little more China in our internet yeah cuz it's depressing every video you look at it's just inevitable before it gets into politics racism and all of this stuff me god forbid you yeah anything that you watch on that I was watching this thing like I'm fascinated with like how evil chimpanzees are like we finally just decided we finally discovered that they like either just say fun of the apes or it's not real dude all right they don't really talk that fuck's my next question no they were just showing these things and how they actually cut down other monkeys and they eat them and if they're fucking lunatics I can't say lunatics they're just not like these things that you can put overalls on and and hang out your house they're gonna rip your face off so I'm watching I'm reading it just was blowing my mind and then of course underneath it was just all this racist stuff about black people and all this stuff it's just it just ruined it ruined the ha I thought was gonna be a bunch of other people all fascinated going like thinking shit that I was thinking like dude what would you do if the fucking thing was coming at you what would you crab and a knife would you try to stab it or just kill yourself before it before you put off that's what I thought it was gonna be and it wasn't gonna create but they're rednecks stupid shit it's a it's the fact that people feel need to comment on even when you watch porn there's people on the nape like I enjoyed it but the blackguard ruined it it's like there's so many poor options just going off no blacks and then you enjoy and that's your racist fucking thing that you need to do I'm gonna Klan suit with like the fucking front coming up with his dick racist porn so that's actually thing we're having a kid now and porn because when I was young there's that all that's idea that I had to I had to porn magazines that I stole from a dumpster behind a news agency and then I actually actually buried them a mile away from my house because my mother kept like I wrote on my bike with two magazines found a tree and then I dug a hole next to the tree and I buried these magazines and once a week I'd ride my bike up to after this magical tree and I would wake behind the tree like a chin right now my point is like my kid now gets on an iPad and he can't read or write his own name and he's just like choosing things by the time my kids like 10 he'll just be waking up in the morning putting his virtual reality goggles on and he'll be like triple fisting please say please because I brought him out right baby it matters that little cunt that Lily hurt my heart to hear that the kids are gonna do that man I I have a theory that technology should have stopped right around 1995 right we could cure enough diseases cars were good enough it was right around there we should have just stopped and we're not we're gonna keep going I don't know where any of this goes I don't I don't watch the news where do you get your news from people correcting me on Twitter people go oh maybe you should read this you know people make points hey fuckhead maybe you should read that like like you're gonna get passed hey fuckhead like oh what is your point but I still don't I click on it and then I read their idea what's the truth and then I start spewing that out in bars and yeah I don't yeah I try to stay you know I try to stay a healthy level of kind of knowing what's going on cuz I go in front of crowds and then just completely not know what's going on I lose myself in hobbies and I just yeah I don't want to see any of it because then it's gonna be depressing and then all the racist morons and idiots are just gonna be yelling at each other underneath it and I find that I find the Internet to be it's an odd combination of really exciting and mostly depressing like it's great for sports stats mmm watching an old movie Hollywood movie is that guy still alive yeah you know you play that game I get fascinating movie and everybody in its dead and I'm like they're all dead look at that kid that kid grew up got old and he's dead good for that type of stuff but then all this other stuff I don't know it's this weird thing where everybody's just completely out of control yet if you go to a comedy club like they're really like the Millennial kids are super conservative like it's flipped I was at the Laugh Factory last night they like and uh they're like groaning and shit it's just like dude I'm fucking old you should be shocking me no it's just like oh my god that bald 49 year old holy shit he was he was out of control I don't know your political leanings I know you and I I've watched you a lot of stage would you call yourself a liberal or a conservative I thought I was liberal until I moved out here and then there's just like a psycho extra level of liberal where it's just like there isn't they are as insane as some of the craziest people on like a right-wing thing like they're just totally extremists and I find there's a lot of bullying out here just as much labeling but they're patting themselves on the back because they feel like the way they think everything should be is so right because they live near an ocean the ocean second you see the ocean you start thinking you know things it depends on this situation I'm a big believer in helping out people that need help but I'm also a big believer at some point you gotta you gotta like quit your whining and and you got a you got a cuz nobody gives a fuck about you or your dream right okay it's up to you to care about it so you have you have at the end of the day you got to make shit happen you can own they're only gonna push you behind the bicycle for so long to make sure you don't tip over so and it's just it really did the art of it is when to apply it which I'm not saying I know how to do but like this sometimes I'm really empathetic and then there's other times it's like how will you shut the fuck up you know that's the thing I say infuriates me about America is this whole idea of the American Dream and it's like if you work hard and you put your mind to it you can achieve anything and this whole idea there's a drink and III agree with that everyone agrees with that but it's not a distinctly American thing every way it believes that you know that right it's it's not like in Australia we're just going I thought if I hit my head in a hammer eventually I'll have a house [Music] [Applause]

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Channel: Conspiracy Box

Views: 1,363,120

Rating: 4.7729154 out of 5

Keywords: illuminati, robots, alexa, amazon alexa, bill burr illuminati, bill burr robots, bill burr ancestry.com, bill burr, alex jones, bill burr chair, conspiracy theories, conspiracy theory, conspiracy box, conspiracybox, election, trump, obama, hillary clinton, bill clinton, simulation, robots replacing humans, automation, bill burr conspiracy theories, comedians famous from youtube clips, virtual reality

Id: suZe5u4USmE

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Length: 20min 22sec (1222 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 05 2018

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