The Hidden Code For Transforming Dreams Into Reality | Mary Morrissey | TEDxWilmingtonWomen

imagine it's one year from today and we all agree that we're going to come back for a reunion not maybe absolutely we're all going to come back exactly the same group of us and we're to come back for a reunion only going to share the things that have happened in our life during the last 12 months of our life we're going to share what it is that we dreamed up when we were here at TEDx in October of 2016 and what's happening in our lives now 365 days later what would you love to be saying about your life what would you love to say in the four areas where humans actually do create results we live in a spiral universe in a spiral there's an ever upward pole of becomingness a little blade of grass fields it as it presses through cement to become more of itself today than yesterday a tree presses to the edges of itself to become more of itself today than yesterday and humans feel the same thing we just feel a little differently we feel it through longing and we feel it through discontent we feel a longing for greater freedom we feel a discontent with certain circumstances and situations and if we just keep breathing another 365 days we will create results because that's what humans do and we create results in four areas we create results in health and well-being and you could look at your own results right now in health and well-being but what would you love a year from now because if you keep breathing you're going to have results in that area humans create results in relationships some of them are wonderful some of them are deep some of them are supportive and some of them are not what would you love in the area of your relationships would you love to bring that's someone special in your life would you love to transform a relationship you're in maybe a relationship is on autopilot and you'd love to have it go deeper humans create results invocation what we do with our time and talent whether we earn income doing it or not because just by our beingness we're doing something with our time and tell it even if we think I've made so many mistakes I'm going to crawl in bed and put the covers over my head what I create that day is covers over my head day in bed I don't get to not create out of my experience and humans create results and we go humans create results humans create results in time and money freedom or constraint so if you think about next year when we come to the reunion what would you love to be saying you know in my calendar the last 12 months here's what were the evidences of more freedom for me in time more freedom for me in the economic freedom where I could really go where I wanted to go do what I wanted to do but maybe even more importantly and I believe it is actually give to the things that matter to you provide some of the things for those that matter to you as well now about 40 years ago I got very very interested in transformation I was getting my undergraduate degree and I care deeply about kids has been a longing of mine for quite a while to become a school teacher and while I was getting my undergraduate degree I wanted to study everything I could in the field of transformation day when the purpose at that point was to help children discover a kind of self-esteem so no matter what their circumstances no matter what their situations they could actually believe that they could become the person they wanted to be and achieve the things they wanted to achieve I went on and got a graduate degree in counseling psychology I earned an honorary Doctorate I my first book building your Field of Dreams became a PBS special I had the privilege of working with His Holiness the Dalai Lama over the course of seven years creating week-long conversations I could just sit right next to him for weeks a week at a time over seven years three different times conversations with world leaders about how to transform our worlds results I got very interested in how results happened at how to transform results I had the privilege of speaking at the United Nations with the Martin Luther King kids and Gandhi's grandkids and creating a 64 day season for non-violence particularly teaching junior high kids about how to solve problems through acts of non-violence and caring and I've spoke at the UN three different times one of them with Rosa Parks and I was building my dreams they mattered to me I had the privilege of working and flying to say Cape Town South Africa and meeting with Nelson Mandela I had a deep dream to ask him the question how did you transform your results how did you be a man who gets sentenced to life in prison you serve 27 years in hard prison and then not only do you get out of prison before you die but you actually then become president of the country that sentences you to life who on our planet does this how did you do that what was going on inside of you and that's been my quest and my interest and my deep longing so that I could transfer that and offer that to the people that I had the privilege of working with I've had the privilege of working with tens of thousands of people around the world around changing their results doesn't mean that because every time I've studied this and worked with my own life and others that every time for me my dreams came true no does it mean that everything I did worked out no my first business that I spent 23 years building I took my eye off the ball I hired somebody to run the economic the financial side of it it was coldly mismanaged I lost everything I had built it was heartbreaking to me but there are three straps that dream builders use either consciously or unconsciously to transform their results so that the dream wins over conditions so that the dream wins over time so that the dream wins over all kinds of circumstances situations and even our history and even no matter how long it's been there and sometimes it's been there for decades about a hundred and fifty years ago a man decided to do an experiment with his life that's what we're invited to do over the next 12 months keep breathing and do an experiment with life he went to the woods Henry David Thoreau and he said I wanted prior to his this quote that's up here he said I wanted to learn to suck the marrow out of aliveness I wanted to live a life I loved living while I was living it I went to the woods because I wish to deliberately front the only essential facts of life and see if life could not teach me what it had to teach and not when I came to die discover that I had not even really lived now Henry did this two-year two-month two-day experiment and then he wrote an essay about it and in the conclusion of that essay he writes a quote that is worldwide known if one advances confidently in the direction of their dream and endeavors to live the life they've imagined he said I learned this at least by my experiment if one advances confidently in the direction of their dream you can't advance in a direction you don't already have an idea of and the first thing dream builders were people who evolved their results do is they have an idea of what they would really love their life to be like if I say to you your front door if I say to you the kitchen sink where you live if I say to you the bed you sleep in most often you did not see the letters B e D or si and K or do ru saw pictures you saw a picture of a door you saw a picture of a sink you saw a picture of a bed this is important for us to know as building a dream because most of us dream dreams and we're vague we don't really see a dream we say I want it I want it to be better I want it to be easier I'd love to travel and there's no picture for where we would travel the more specific you are and the more you specific you are right now this talk will would mean way more to you over the course of this next year what would you really love most of us has this question what do I think I can do what does the economy see I can do what do you think I can do what does my mother think I can do what would you love is the right question because you will have different thoughts on the frequency of that question then you will have on the what do I think question what would you really love because you're going to have results in those four areas anyway now I knew nothing about this in 1966 in 1966 I had I had grown up in a very very happy family my mom and dad my sister eight years older I this was 1966 I was a junior in high school I was high homecoming princess had to leave the junior play I had I was this my class vice president had three best friends from the time I was 10 years old and we'd hung out together and done many many things together and in spring break of 1966 my high school sweetheart had gone off to college came home on spring break and I got pregnant May 1 I tell my mom and dad I'm now pregnant my mother wept for me as if I had died middle of May we had a very hasty tempers and wedding middle of May the high school principal calls me and says are these rumors I'm hearing about you true and I said well if the rumors are that I'm pregnant married that order then yes he's but he's hidden his hands that he said marry you will not be allowed to return here for your senior year would be totally inappropriate for a pregnant girl to get mixed in with the normal girls but we have a place for people like you it's a high school not held during daylight it's after dark it's across the river in a part of Portland I hadn't allowed to drive in after dark and it's why the pregnant girls and the delinquent boys go to high school so that's where I began my senior year and my first son was born in December of 1966 only now the mothers of my best girlfriends would no longer let them see me because that was married I was pregnant it was as if what I had was contagious I graduated from Washington evening high school in May of 1967 and in July of 1967 I was in a Portland hospital having been diagnosed with fatal kidney disease one kidney was totally destroyed but nephritis the other kidney was 50% destroyed and active nephritis and in 1967 this is a death sentence we don't have dialysis we don't have transplants and every medical physician doctor specialist surgeon all said the same thing the best we can do is maybe give you six months if we can get the blood toxin level in your body reduced enough to remove that surgery then maybe you'll have six months and I was terrified and my belief system at that time was this was happening to me I was being punished for being a bad girl and I was being punished well the night before the surgery a woman walked in my room about 10 o'clock at night who identified herself as a chaplain offering prayer for people who were going to have surgeries the next day did I want prayer and I'm thinking you know well the god of my upbringing probably needed to have some anger management classes but it's the only God I do at the time and I said well maybe and she pulled her chair next to my bed shouldn't do anything look like prayer she talked to me and she asked me to tell her we'd been going out of my life they could last year or two which I did and when I was finished she said Mary everything's created twice what do you mean she said you know this in fact everybody knows it almost nobody knows the power of knowingness she said the bed or laying on the nightgown you're wearing the sheet covering in the wall is the ceiling the floor all the machinery you're hooked up to first had to be a thought before it could be a thing you know this and then she said I hear how much you love your little boy but I also hear how much you've been hating yourself you feel like you shamed yourself you shamed your school you shamed your family and now that you're thinking how everything's created twice could you consider that there could be a correlation because notice this Mary if you think embarrassing thoughts your cheeks get red if you think scary enough thoughts your heart beats faster it doesn't mean anything scary is going on it doesn't even mean anything embarrassing is going on it means you think those thoughts and your body responds could it be that if you think enough toxic thoughts about yourself there could be a correlative a toxicity that goes on in your body that actually could threaten your life well this was so beyond anything that I had any framework for at that point and then she said could you believe it's possible but we could do a prayer or say words and this could completely be eliminated from you and in fact when they come to get for surgery in the morning I said get up go home you're fine could you believe that and I told her the truth no that was going to happen for me there wasn't that one part of me that believed I was way more belief in my pain at that point and said art if you can't believe this now remember there's an infinite number of possibilities there has to be one where instead of we do this prayer we pull all the Genesis all the genesis of this disease that's going on in you and put it in the kidney that's going to get removed and when it's removed instead of you getting worse you actually get better could you believe that's possible I didn't know if it was possible but I could tell she believed it was possible and I believe it was the first time I ever chose to believe on the frequency of someone else's belief who was operating at a higher domain and I said maybe it's possible remember this is before Sheldrake and David Bohm and quantum field science and and all the things that there was and at this point there was no mind-body clinic at Harvard I mean this is all in the last 40 years so much has happened so she said alright let's work with that one idea she says one part of your one part of you open to the idea let's work with that she said some words she gave me a prescriptive for how to use my thinking and my emotion and then she left and they did the surgery and about a week or two later my numbers were stable enough that they said you might have a little bit more time we're gonna let you be home I went home to my parents house and an ambulance where my son and my husband were staying and I could hardly get my head off the pillow but subtly and I was in many times a week at first and over time less time is being checked having my never checked and subtly over time my numbers not only stabilized but improved and four or five months later I'm sitting in a doctor's office with a surgeon and the specialist and my regular GP and they're scratching their head saying we have no science for why your one kidney is not only getting worse it seems to be functioning as a perfectly whole fine kidney and there's no we don't have any science for this we're going to put medical anomaly on your chart whatever you've been doing keep doing it and that's when I began to do the things that I've told you about I got into undergraduate school I got into graduate school and over time as I reflected about what happened and I studied people transform their results people who transform their results not just wish for a better result but actually transform the results there are three things they do every one of them whether they do it consciously or unconsciously and when I transform my health result I was totally an unconscious competent I just did what she told me to do she said here's what's going to happen when you have that surgery your minds very much like a rubberband you thought those thoughts so much your mind is going to want to thank those thoughts those toxic thoughts they're going to remove that one kidney every time you notice yourself starting to think of thought toxic thoughts say no that left with the kidney and then immediately imagine yourself like you're walking in and getting into your own bed imagine yourself and for me because I wanted my two big dreams where I want to be a teacher and I want to raise my son imagine you're walking into a school you've got a little five-year-olds hand in yours feel the warmth of his hand in yours you walk up to a teacher he goes into his kindergarten class you hear the click click click of your heels you go around the corner and there's your classroom and you're a teacher and he's five imagine yourself then fast forward she said and imagine yourself you're sitting at a big auditorium there's caps and gowns down there your son's 18 he's graduating from high school and you're there and your teaching career is growing and then fast forward and imagine that you're sitting in the front row of a wedding and you're the mother of the groom when your son's marrying the love of his life and you're teaching crew is flourishing keep repeating that I had done that unconsciously every time I would start to think oh my gosh should start to generate that wavelength of self-loathing I said no that left with the kidney and then I saw myself and I imagined being the person taking him into kindergarten being the person seeing him graduate being the person sitting in the front row of his wedding I had no idea the power of that but after 45 years of studying and tens of thousands of people what I know are these three things that if when we get together next year for our reunion and if you would love to be able to share results in particularly one or two areas of your life where you feel the greatest longing and the most is contempt then these three things will help you number one you want to create with clarity a specific dream imagine yourself health what would you love relationships as clear the dream you can design the board your brain can work on that frequency you know if you want to change your television channel you got to change the frequency you know if you want to change the radio station you're listening to you've got to change the frequency we're not really different we think on frequencies our ability to see and not see opportunities are on the frequencies we think from create a specific dream see yourself in it refuse to stay discouraged I didn't say refused to get discouraged we're all going to get discouraged not everything we try is going to work out we learned to walk by falling down we just didn't stay down we were little kids it was normal to explore experiment we got older and we thought every step we take has got a workout so declined to stay discouraged okay that was feedback when Edison was asked how did you survive 10,000 failures he said I never had a failure it was all feedback you'll have some feedback this year decline to stay discouraged and then be more interested in the growth that will happen for you by means of having a dream yes many many wonderful things will happen if you become a dream builder not a dreamer a dream builder because you're going to create results anyway but to stay in the comfort zone means you're going to keep having what you've had because that's where you're comfortable if you want to have something you've never had do something you've never done that's growth we're going a little unstable in that part of our life so if you're so if you're more interested in then comfort you're willing to be interested a little bit in growth because it's more for you than what's been and do that in service of your dream so those three things be specific about your dream decline to stay discouraged be in service of your dream through the growth that happens and you can have that every single day during this 365 day experiment before we have our reunion next year now not one of us can go back and change what's back there but every single one of us can decide what's going to be out there thank you you

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 561,966

Rating: 4.87503 out of 5

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, United States, Life, Achievement, Adventure, Behavior, Brain, Business, Change, Choice, Cognitive science, Consciousness, Control, Creation, Curiosity, Emotions, Failure, Future, Grit, Happiness, Hardship, Ideas, Identity, Impact, Innovation, Learning, Life Development, Life Hack, Mindfulness, Motivation, Neuroscience, Passion, Positive Thinking, Productivity, Progress, Purpose, Self improvement, Self-help, Success, Women in business, Work

Id: UPoTsudFF4Y

Length: 18min 37sec (1117 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 21 2016