I wrote this journal entry in 2013. "I've been sleeping restlessly for months. There's a constant feeling
of tension in my body. I love ministry as a Catholic priest, the opportunity to share
my faith with people and support them as we journey
through life together. But I have a desire to share my life
with another person. I knew, in discerning ministry, that celibacy, not getting married,
was part of the package. But I don't know
if I can do this any longer. I'm rarely alone,
but I feel bitterly lonely." I wrote this when I was on the cusp of making one of the biggest
and most significant decisions of my life: whether to leave ministry
as a Catholic priest. I think my life has been
a reasonably unique and unusual one. Now in my early forties,
I've had careers as an opera singer, a Catholic priest, a corporate lawyer, and now, a management consultant. (Laughter) And when people
hear the careers that I've had, the most common question I get asked -- maybe the one that's on your mind -- is, “What on earth is
the connection amongst it all?” (Laughter) Through all of these changes, through all of these careers, one constant has been present: the practice of reflection. Now people may think that reflection is something that happens
in a dark, private room by candlelight or flashlight, to purge one's deepest, darkest secrets. But I want to bring
this practice out of the dark and into the light. I want to share how this practice
can help our everyday lives, and especially our work lives. I want to share how this practice
helps to improve performance, to make better decisions,
both big and small, and to build better relationships. Interestingly, in a 2020 survey
of some 4,000 respondents, conducted by BCG and BVA, the question was asked, "What makes a good leader? What are their main qualities and skills?" Notably, possessing
a good capacity for reflection was listed as one of the top five skills, the others being empathy, listening,
consideration and team development. Reflection is about learning. It's about looking at the events
of our lives without judgment, but with a critical lens. I really like the way
leadership professors James Bailey and Scheherazade
Rehman describe it: "It requires taking an honest moment
to look at what transpired, what worked, what didn't, what can be done and what can't. Reflection requires courage. It's thoughtful, and it's deliberate." So how do we do this, then? Let's take a look at sports. I grew up in Australia, and one of the most popular
games played was cricket. Consistent high performance from batters,
bowlers and fielders is essential. But given it’s a team sport, it’s not just about
how ... the individual performs, but about how the team performs
collectively together. Cricketers reflect during a game,
after a game and over time. During a game, they might think
about a missed catch or how they could bat or bowl better
the next delivery. After a game, they might come together
to watch video replays, to look at what worked and what didn't, which might differ
from what they actually experienced during the game itself. And then, over time, they might look
to the patterns of their wins and losses, to glean even more meaningful
conclusions and insights. The same process can and should
be used in the workplace, and I don't think we need to watch
video replays of our meetings to dissect what took place. (Laughter) I don't know about you,
but that might feel kind of creepy. (Laughter) Reflection can be done
through a variety of different formats: purposeful thinking, written journal entries,
audio notes, pitches, a discussion with a mentor
or honest friend. The point is to find what works for you and to make a regular commitment. To examine the events
and experiences of your lives -- what worked, what didn't, and why -- and then, to think about what and how you would like to do things
differently next time. When we practice reflection as a habit,
we gain even more meaningful insight, because we see patterns that reflection
on stand-alone events doesn't provide. I truly think reflection
can help everyone -- people in every industry,
at every stage in one's career, and in every point in one's life. Let me share with you an example
that I think most people can connect with. Most of us have meetings. I was due for a daily catch-up
with a colleague. He had just led a client meeting
for the first time. It was to give a progress update on the work stream
he was responsible for in this project. He said to me that the meeting
had gone terribly. He didn’t get through the actions taken. He wasn’t able to discuss the obstacles
faced or the decisions required. He didn’t get to the next steps
or the responsible persons. He felt angst, uneasy, upset. He was concerned about what the client
had thought of him and the meeting, but more importantly, what the client felt
about the work that was going on in the work stream. It would have been so easy for him
to have pushed past this, to try and suppress the emotions, but that would have missed
a massive opportunity. We took a few moments to think and objectively reflect
over what took place, and then to put in place some commitments as to what and how he could do things
differently next time. He decided that in [the] future, he would start each meeting
with an agenda alignment, to make sure there was clarity
on what needed to be achieved. And then, he'd resolve to make sure
that he would take greater control over the meeting so that if topics came up
beyond the scope of the agenda, that he’d note that a separate
discussion should be had. Reflection helps to improve performance. Reflection helps to make better decisions. Imagine, for a moment, you've been in your current role
for five years. It's a creative role, but you don't quite feel
you've got that zing, that energy for it, anymore. You've been offered
another opportunity in the organization. It’s actually a promotion.
It’s a more senior role, managerial. But you'll have responsibility
for looking after 12 direct reports. A competitor has also
recently reached out to you. They've offered you an opportunity for the same kind of role
that you've got currently, but it pays a higher salary. There's a big difference between being a creative
and being a manager. So what is it that really makes you happy? What is it that really
makes you fulfilled? Reflection provides
a treasure trove of data to help you work through this. Have your reflections mentioned
being bored with projects, or do you just want to try something new? Would you like to be a manager? Would you like to see people grow
and form and develop them? Do you think you could do
a better job than your own manager? Reflection provides great insight. It's easy to get lost
when you've got an opportunity of a fancier job title and more money. But reflection enables you
to focus on what really matters, and to make better choices. Let me share with you a final example. Most of us have
relationships in our work -- bosses, customers,
clients, suppliers, whomever. And I think most of us try to have
good relationships with these people. If I'm honest, while I strive for this ambition,
I haven't always succeeded, but reflection has helped me
to build better relationships. A number of years ago, I was giving a feedback session
with a colleague, and after having done so, I took a few moments
to jot down some thoughts as to how it went. I realized I had been too clinical. In fact, if only you could have seen
the expressions on my colleague's face. (Laughter) I'd raced through their various strengths and moved onto spending more time
in their areas for development. If I'd really thought about this person, I would have spent far greater time
actually on their strengths, actually emphasizing why they were such a
valuable member of our organization, and then, creating a space
where they felt psychologically safe, to be able to go on and explore
these areas for development. Reflection has helped me to improve this and to build better relationships. So this might all sound
a little fine and dandy, and may be obvious or trivial, but the truth is, so many of us don't take
time out for regular reflection. This practice has helped me and I am so grateful. After I left being a priest, I took some time out for reflection
to think about who I was and what I wanted my life to be about. Reflection helped me to grapple with this, and it continues to help me today as I grapple with this and other topics. So as we end this day, or tomorrow,
before you begin the next, sit down, take a breath, and reflect. And you'll see the power that this habit
brings to your life. Thank you. (Cheers and applause)
