[Quill]
Rocket, this isn't
funny anymore. Rocket, answer
the krutackin' comm! How does someone
lose a whole ship? Bigger problems, Quill. We may have stopped
whoever was tampering
with this satellite, but if we don't
get out of here soon,
we'll burn to a crisp. That I can fix. Time for this place
to chill out. Really? "Chill out"? Hey, it's hard to think
of element quips, okay? I can signal for help. We already tried
calling the Avengers.
It didn't work. Oh, I'm not calling
the Avengers. [chittering] [Gamora]
Do all Terrans find amusement
by staring at bugs, Iron Man? Not bugs, Gamora. Ants. And ants acting strangely
means Ant-Man's trying
to tell us something. I believe I can
decipher their meaning. They wish us to look up. You see anything
up there, Tony? Yeah. My satellite. I think I know why
they're not answering, Cap. Hulk, can you catch it? [growls] [grunts] [grunts] [grunting] [groaning]
Oh, I think I left my lunch
somewhere in the stratosphere! Where are Rocket, Groot,
and the woman who flies? [coughing] Wait. What?
They're not with you? [groans] The <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>Milano </i>hasn't responded
since you disabled
the satellite.</font> Captain Marvel's comm
went dark as well. Oh, that's not good. [grunts]
Where are we, Rocky? Nowhere I wanna be.
And it's "Rocket"! Seriously, I'm gonna
start calling you "Marv." No, you're not.
[grunts] These cuffs are absorbing
my photon energy. I can't blast out. Cool your jets, Marv. We got this. I am Groot. [chuckles]
No offense, <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>Rocky,</i></font> but I don't think a walking tree
and a hyper-evolved trash-eater
can help right now. Hey, watch the hate speech,
ya furless flesh-bag! [chittering] [door opens] You must be
the freak in charge. Here's an idea:
pick a species! [beeping] Any idea what they
want from us? From the looks of him,
spare body parts. [beeping continues] [whirring] Specifically,<font color="#FFFFFF"><i>
our </i>spare body parts!</font> [grunts] [grunting] [beeping] [yelling] [sighs]
Just a scanner. [beeping] That's not a scanner. Oh, come on!
Nobody's slicing up this pelt. Groot, lend me a branch. I am Groot. Still don't want
a trash-eater's help, <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>Marv? </i>
[grunts]</font> Call me "Marv" again,
and you're gonna
be eating photon. [grunts] [growling] [grunting] Impressive. You're far more vibrant
than my usual subjects. I'll show you
vibrant, Red! You will address me
as the "High Evolutionary." I seek an extremely
potent asteroid to power my array
of machinery. [beeping] Thanos' rock?
[scoffs] Forget it.
Do your worst. We ain't telling you squat. I am no torturer.
I am an artist! Besides, I've already found
the asteroid. You're the one who tampered
with the satellite system. Just a little performance art
to lure you here. My medium is genetics.
I travel the galaxy in search of unique
physical attributes to add to my palette,
and you have the privilege of being a part
of my finest masterpiece. You have such elegant materials
to work with. Photon energy absorption
and projection, flight. [grunting] This one-- mass control
and regeneration. And you... Well, there's always one
botched pot in the kiln. [growling] [growling] Throw him
with the other rejects. Reject?
[grunting] Aah!
Who you calling reject, ya tailless,
bulb-headed hack? Hack? The High Evolutionary
is no hack! Let me demonstrate. [beeps] [screeching] I have absorbed
the raw genetic clay from thousands of beings
and modeled it into perfection. I am a masterpiece, and I will show you
the meaning of "hack." [Quill]
Uh, guys? Look, I know this asteroid
fell on your headquarters
'cause of us, sort of, but shouldn't we be out
searching for our friends? As soon as we get this giant
space rock off our scanners, we can pinpoint
Captain Marvel's ID and get her
and your crewmates back. On it. [knuckles crack] [straining] [grunts] Looks like the asteroid's
destabilizing.
I can't risk shrinking it. Then we don't touch it
until you and Tony run
a thorough analysis. Do we really have time for that?
My friends are in danger. So is mine, but we have to weigh
the needs of the many
over the needs of the few. This asteroid could endanger
the entire planet. Once we know Earth is safe,
we can take the Avenjet and look for Carol
and your teammates
out in space. Wait. Your jet
can go into space? We could've been searching
for them this whole time! Quill, Captain America doesn't want the Avengers
to go into space. We can't make <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>him </i>do anything<i>
he </i>doesn't want to do.</font> Understand? Actually, there are several ways
we could force him, but they would all be
extremely difficult, given his large
green-skinned ally. What kind of stupid name
is Avenjet? No worse than <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>Milano. </i></font> [beeping] All right. What are you
waiting for? Let's go. [alarm beeping] Controls are locked. <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>[Ant-Man]
Yeah. It's a security feature.</i></font> To stop thieves. Hey! Ant-Man!
Hey, check it out!
It's Ant-Man. I was just looking
for the bathroom,
and this is not it. I thought you were supposed
to be a good liar. [beeps] And I thought
you were only an outlaw
if it's for a good cause. Saving our friends seems like
a pretty good cause to me. [thrusters blast] [Captain America]
Seriously? Again? Congratulations.
Your unique abilities will live on inside me
as genetic art, even though you won't
survive to see it. Aaahhh! I am Groo-oo-oot! [alarm blaring] [beeps] It appears your friends
are attempting to save you. Let's see how they fare
when I combine your abilities
with my own. Leave the machine on
and store the rest
of their power. I don't want to waste
a single drop. <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>[Captain America]
Care to explain why
you stole my jet,</i></font> <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>and why you helped them, Scott?</i></font> Uh...
[imitating static] Cap, I...
[imitating static] [stammering, imitating static] <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>Yeah, that's not what
static sounds like.</i></font> Yeah, well, this is what
hanging up sounds like. <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>[dial tone]</i></font> I'll say one thing
for the Avengers. Their jet handles better
than the <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>Milano.</i></font> Hey, my ship's just as-- Oh! [loud thud] Whoa! [rapid beeping] Uh, yeah,
I think we found the guys
that took our friends. Then let's show 'em what happens
when you mess
with the Guardians. [Gamora]
Their weapons are better too. [Quill]
Enough about the Avenjet! [grunts]
Can't... hold on. I am Groo-oot! Don't worry, bud!
I'm coming! [grunting] Come on! Come on!
[grunts] [yelling] [growling] [crashing, clattering] I don't have
my photon blasts! Great. How long
will you be useless?
[grunts] [bang] "Useless" isn't really my thing. [beeps] A rescue raid
is such a cliché. I must remove it
from the canvas. [alarm blaring] Just so you know, the <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>Milano </i>
shields would've held.</font> [both]
Not now, Quill! Quill! This is why
I didn't want that maverick
using our plane. It appears he is
about to return it. We need to soften
their landing. Repulsor shield
should slow 'em down. Is Quill always
this reckless? No. Most times,
he is extremely wreck-full. Cap, we got
another space visitor, and this one doesn't look
nearly as friendly
as the Guardians. [grunting] [growling] Claws off my ship, freaks! I am Groot! You're really attached
to this hunk of junk,
huh, Rocky? If you don't like it, Marv,
you can always walk
back to the surface. Fine. Show me
what this tub can do. Your armor is trite
and uninspired. It barely compensates
for your lack
of natural physical powers. Really? 'Cause your natural powers
look like cheap knockoffs to me. [thruster blasts] And I got a feeling
the originals just escaped. Hybrids, retrieve my specimens. Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Check it out, Marv. Could a hunk of junk
do that? Uh, you mean lose control
and smash through a wall? [loud thud] Oh, and vibrate uncontrollably? [alarm blaring] That ain't us. <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>[Quill]
Rocket, how many times
I gotta tell you?</i></font> <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>Don't let things eat my ship!</i></font> Focus on the genetic grab bag.
He's going after
Thanos' asteroid. Trust me, we do not
want him to get it. It's true.
The High Evolutionary
drains powers, and that rock is gonna make him
even better at it. [loud clang] Looks like he's doing
pretty good already. [High Evolutionary]
Stand aside, earthling. I'm here for the asteroid, not to scuff my armor
fighting you. Sorry. Avengers
don't stand aside. They also do not avenge. You really have to
let that one go. [grunts] Vibranium. Quite an impressive tool
for such a pedestrian species. You think I'm impressive? Wait till you see
the Green Guy. [roaring] Gamma-infused DNA. Oh, I can't wait to add
that power to my palette. [grunting]
Not gonna happen. Hulk!
[grunts] [groans] [grunts] [aircraft approaching] [yells] [gasping] I appreciate the assist,
Quill, but next time
let us in on your plan. You're assuming he has one. Hey! Fine. We'll do it
the mundane way. Hybrids, lock onto the asteroid. It's time
to incorporate this world
into my masterpiece. With the power of the asteroid, my absorption field
will pull the life force out of this entire planet. <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>[Rocket]
Not gonna let that happen.</i></font> <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>[Quill]
That goes double for us.</i></font> I am Groo-oot! Rocky, give me
everything you've got,
all on one side! [aggravated tone]
But that'll just [normal tone]
get us outta this nosedive. [chuckling]
Nice. [beeping] [grunts] [grunts] Nice flying. When this is over, Quill, you and I
need to have a long talk
about sticking to a plan. Got a plan to stop
an energy field that'll
absorb all life on Earth? Not currently. You're the
fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants
guy, Quill. What do we do? Believe it or not,
I've got a plan. Okay, 12 percent of a plan.
Do you trust me? Enough to actually
stick around and hear it.
Shoot. [Quill] Two teams.
Team Awesome will attack
the High Evolutionary's ship. Your job is
to keep 'em distracted
so Team Even More Awesome can sneak aboard
and shut down that field. [grunts] [grunts] [straining] [yells] Aahh! That's why
you don't blast someone with their own powers,
you forgery! [roars] I am not a forgery! Yeah, he's distracted. <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>Now watch a pro cause
some real damage, Rocky.</i></font> Oh-ho-ho!
I'll show you damage,
Princess Sparkle-Fists. [grunts] I am Groo-oo-oot! [grunting] [grunts] Huh. At least he didn't
call me "Marv." Okay, Quill, so maybe
your team's dysfunction
isn't all your fault. I know, right? Wait. How was it
ever my fault? [chittering] [grunting] [grunts]
Hulk, take care
of the asteroid. You mean smash it? How's about
we disconnect it first? [yells] [grunts] [grunting] Guys, that rock looks like
it's about to blow! [yells] [grunts] My absorption field! [groans] Ooh, there's a prize
at the center of the rock? [Captain America]
All that energy
from such a small source. Ever seen anything
like it? No. But whatever Thanos
stashed inside it, I bet it could fetch
a flarg ton of units. Or blow up the entire planet. Agreed. We have to seal it
before any more
energy leaks out. [all grunting] [rumbling] Step away from the sarcophagus, and I promise
to make your end swift. Ah, tempting offer. Here's our counter. [growls] Aah! Let me show you
how it's done, furry. [roaring] [grunting] That's our cue
to move this box. [grunts] [roars, grunts] [yells] [straining] [grunts] We could use a little
help here, Team Awesome. <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>[Iron Man]
We're way ahead of you, Cap.</i></font> I'll clear you a path. Prepare to be destroyed. [grunts] [grunting] [grunts, groans] [whirring] [yells] [Guardians, Avengers grunt] [grunts, yells] You dare censor my art? Censor? No, no, no.
More like erase. [roaring] [beeps] [yelling] How's it feel to be absorbed
by your own paint brush,
Mr. Artiste? [groaning] [grunting] Whatever energy you absorb,
the sarcophagus
can more than replace. I will not let you
take it from me. Quill, Cap,
you got incoming! [both grunt] [groans, grunts] You have no idea
what forces you toy with! Maybe not,
but I bet they hurt. [grunts] Nooo! Did I just vaporize
the High Evolutionary? Great. Now, let's close
the big energy-spewing shoe box before it vaporizes us! [gasps] [all grunting] <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>[Ant-Man]
Uh, guys?
Something weird's happening.</i></font> <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>I don't know what
that blue energy is,</i></font> <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>but it is infecting
the entire ship.</i></font> [Captain America]
Everyone, fall back! Rocky, we've gotta go. Right behind ya, Marv! I still gotta plug
this energy leak. Where's Rocket? He's still in the ship. Where is the ship? I don't know,
but I'm scanning some debris. Furry debris. [gasps] How'd you survive that, Rocket? [groaning] Never underestimate
the little guy,
Captain Marvel. [Captain America]
Still no sign
of the sarcophagus, [beeping] but that's probably
for the best. Speaking of which,
this belongs to Thor. It's the Cosmic Seed. Long story, but it's why
we came to Earth. I think it'll be in safe hands
with heroes like you, and so will the Earth. And so will the galaxy, with you and your crew
guarding it. Yeah, about that.
"Guardians" is more of a name, really,
than a job description. [Iron Man] That's all right. You'll notice we don't do
much actual avenging. But should the need
for vengeance arise, you know how to contact me. [Captain Marvel]
Come back soon. I wanna out-fly you
all over again. Ho-ho, it's on! [Quill]
And once again, Earth,
you're welcome! Where's Rocket?
I thought he'd be thrilled to finally see us
flying away from this planet. Eh, he's probably
just recovering
from his big hero moment. [metallic clinking] Hero-schmero. I'm making some units
with this sarcophagus. Oh-ho-ho-ho!
Pocket Dimension Storage Vial, is there nothing
you can't contain? [Baby Groot]
I am Groot! [sighs] I'm coming! Don't get your bark in a bunch!
