The Four Agreements - Full Book Reading - A Collection of Toltec Wisdom Written by Don Miguel Ruiz

[Music] the first agreement be impeccable with your word the first agreement is the most important one and also the most difficult one to honor it is so important that with just this first agreement you will be able to transcend to the level of existence i call heaven on earth the first agreement is to be impeccable with your word it sounds very simple but it is very very powerful why your word your word is the power that you have to create your word is the gift that comes directly from god the gospel of john in the bible speaking of the creation of the universe says in the beginning there was the word and the word was with god and the word is god through the word you express your creative power it is through the word that you manifest everything regardless of what language you speak your intent manifests through the word what you dream what you feel and what you really are will all be manifested through the word the word is not just a sound or a written symbol the word is a force it is the power you have to express and communicate to think and thereby to create the events in your life you can speak what other animal on the planet can speak the word is the most powerful tool you have as a human it is the tool of magic but like a sword with two edges your word can create the most beautiful dream or your word can destroy everything around you one edge is the misuse of the word which creates a living hell the other edge is the impeccability of the word which will only create beauty love and heaven on earth depending upon how it is used the word can set you free or it can enslave you even more than you know all the magic you possess is based on your word your word is pure magic and misuse of your word is black magic the word is so powerful that one word can change a life or destroy the lives of millions of people some years ago one man in germany by the use of the word manipulated a whole country of the most intelligent people he led them into a world war with just the power of his word he convinced others to commit the most atrocious acts of violence he activated people's fear with the word and like a big explosion there was killing and war all around the world all over the world humans destroyed other humans because they were afraid of each other hitler's word based on fear-generated beliefs and agreements will be remembered for centuries the human mind is like a fertile ground where seeds are continually being planted the seeds are opinions ideas and concepts you plant a seed a thought and it grows the word is like a seed and the human mind is so fertile the only problem is that too often it is fertile for the seeds of fear every human mind is fertile but only for those kinds of seeds it is prepared for what is important is to see which kind of seeds our mind is fertile for and to prepare it to receive the seeds of love take the example of hitler he sent out all those seeds of fear and they grew very strong and beautifully achieved massive destruction seeing the awesome power of the word we must understand what power comes out of our mouths one fear or doubt planted in our mind can create an endless drama of events one word is like a spell and humans use the word like black magicians thoughtlessly putting spells on each other [Music] every human is a magician and we can either put a spell on someone with our word or we can release someone from a spell we cast spells all the time with our opinions an example i see a friend and give him an opinion that just popped into my mind i say hmm i see that kind of color in your face and people who are going to get cancer if he listens to the word and if he agrees he'll have cancer in less than one year that is the power of the word during our domestication our parents and siblings gave their opinions about us without even thinking we believed these opinions and we lived in fear over these opinions like not being good at swimming or sports or writing someone gives an opinion and says look this girl is ugly the girl listens believes she is ugly and grows up with the idea that she is ugly it doesn't matter how beautiful she is as long as she has that agreement she will believe that she is ugly that is the spell that she is under [Music] by hooking our attention the word can enter our mind and change a whole belief for better or worse another example you may believe you're stupid and you may have believed this for as long as you can remember this agreement can be very tricky causing you to do a lot of things just to ensure that you are stupid you may do something and think to yourself i wish i was smart but i must be stupid or i wouldn't have done that the mind goes in hundreds of different directions and we could spend days getting hooked by just that one belief in our own stupidity then one day someone hooks your attention and using the word lets you know that you are not stupid you believe what the person says and make a new agreement as a result you no longer feel or act stupid a whole spell is broken just by the power of the word conversely if you believe you were stupid and someone hooks your attention and says yes you are really the most stupid person i have ever met the agreement will be reinforced and become even stronger now let's see what the word impeccability means impeccable comes from the latin piccatus which means sin the m in impeccable means without so impeccable means without sin religions talk about sin and sinners but let's understand what it really means to sin a sin is anything you do that goes against yourself everything you feel or believe or say that goes against yourself is a sin you go against yourself when you judge or blame yourself for anything being without sin is exactly the opposite being impeccable is not going against yourself when you are impeccable you take responsibility for your actions but you do not judge or blame yourself [Music] from this point of view the whole concept of sin changes from something moral or religious to something common sense sin begins with rejection of yourself self-rejection is the biggest sin that you commit in religious terms self-rejection is a mortal sin which leads to death impeccability on the other hand leads to life if i see you in the street and i call you stupid it appears that i'm using the word against you but really i'm using my word against myself because you're going to hate me for this and you're hating me is not good for me therefore if i get angry and with my word send all that emotional poison to you i'm using the word against myself if i love myself i'll express that love in my interactions with you and then i'm being impeccable with the word because that action will produce a like reaction if i love you then you will love me if i insult you you will insult me if i have gratitude for you you will have gratitude for me if i'm selfish with you you'll be selfish with me if i use the word to put a spell on you you are going to put a spell on me being impeccable with your word is the correct use of your energy it means to use your energy in the direction of truth and love for yourself if you make an agreement with yourself to be impeccable with your word just with that intention the truth will manifest through you and clean all the emotional poison that exists within you but making this agreement is difficult because we have learned to do precisely the opposite we have learned to lie as a habit of our communication with others and more importantly with ourselves we are not impeccable with the word the power of the word is completely misused in hell we use the word to curse to blame to find guilt to destroy of course we also use it in the right way but not too often mostly we use the word to spread our personal poison to express anger jealousy envy and hate the word is pure magic the most powerful gift we have as humans and we use it against ourselves we plan revenge we create chaos with the word we use the word to create hate between different races between different people between families between nations we misuse the word so often and this misuse is how we create and perpetuate the dream of hell misuse of the word is how we pull each other down and keep each other in a state of fear and doubt because the word is the magic that humans possess and misuse of the word is black magic we are using black magic all the time without knowing that our word is magic at all there was a woman for example who was intelligent and had a very good heart she had a daughter whom she adored and loved very much one night she came home from a very bad day at work tired full of emotional attention and with a terrible headache she wanted peace and quiet but her daughter was singing and jumping happily the daughter was unaware of how her mother was feeling she was in her own world in her own dream she felt so wonderful and she was jumping and singing louder and louder expressing her joy and her love she was singing so loud that it made her mother's headache even worse and at a certain moment the mother lost control angrily she looked at her beautiful little girl and said shut up you have an ugly voice can you just shut up the truth is that the mother's tolerance for any noise was non-existent it was not that the little girl's voice was ugly but the daughter believed what her mother said and in that moment she made an agreement with herself after that she no longer sang because she believed her voice was ugly and would bother anyone who heard it she became shy at school and if she was asked to sing she refused even speaking to others became difficult for her everything changed in the little girl because of this new agreement she believed she must repress her emotions in order to be accepted and loved whenever we hear an opinion and believe it we make an agreement and it becomes part of our belief system this little girl grew up and even though she had a beautiful voice she never sang again she developed a whole complex from one spell the spell was cast upon her by the one who loved her the most her own mother her mother didn't notice what she did with her word she didn't notice that she used black magic and put a spell on her daughter she didn't know the power of her word and therefore she isn't to blame she did what her own mother father and others had done to her in many ways they misused the word [Music] how many times do we do this with our own children we give them these types of opinions and our children carry that black magic for years and years people who love us do black magic on us but they don't know what they do that is why we must forgive them they don't know what they do another example you awake in the morning feeling very happy you feel so wonderful you stay one or two hours in front of the mirror making yourself beautiful well one of your best friends says what has happened to you you look so ugly look at that dress you're wearing you look ridiculous that's it that is enough to put you all the way down in hell maybe this girlfriend just told you this to hurt you and she did she gave you an opinion with all the power of her word behind it if you accept the opinion it becomes an agreement now and you put all your power into that opinion that opinion becomes black magic these types of spells are difficult to break the only thing that can break a spell is to make a new agreement based on truth the truth is the most important part of being impeccable with your word on one side of the sword are the lies which create black magic and on the other side of the sword is the truth which has the power to break the spell of black magic only the truth will set us free looking at everyday human interactions imagine how many times we cast spells on each other with our word over time this interaction has become the worst form of black magic and we call it gossip gossip is black magic at its very worst because it is pure poison we learned how to gossip by agreement when we were children we heard the adults around us gossiping all the time openly giving their opinions about other people they even had opinions about people they didn't know emotional poison was transferred along with the opinions and we learned this as the normal way to communicate gossiping has become the main form of communication in human society it has become the way we feel close to each other because it makes us feel better to see someone else feel as badly as we do there's an old expression that says misery likes company and people who are suffering in hell don't want to be all alone fear and suffering are an important part of the dream of the planet they are how the dream of the planet keeps us down using the analogy of the human mind as a computer gossip can be compared to a computer virus a computer virus is a piece of computer language written in the same language all the other codes are written in but with a harmful intent this code is inserted into the program of your computer when you least expect it and most of the time without your awareness after this code has been introduced your computer doesn't work quite right or it doesn't function at all because the codes get so mixed up with so many conflicting messages that it stops producing good results human gossip works exactly the same way for example you're beginning a new class with a new teacher and you've looked forward to it for a long time on the first day of class you run into someone who took the class before who tells you oh that instructor was such a pompous jerk he didn't know what he was talking about and he was a pervert too so watch out you were immediately imprinted with the word and the emotional code the person had when saying this but what you're not aware of is his or her motivation in telling you this person could be angry for failing the class or simply making an assumption based on fears and prejudices but because you have learned to ingest information like a child some part of you believes the gossip and you go on to the class as the teacher speaks you feel the poison come up inside you and you don't realize you see the teacher through the eyes of the person who gave you that gossip then you start talking to other people in the class about this and they start to see the teacher in the same way as a jerk and a pervert you really hate the class and soon you decide to drop out you blame the teacher but it is gossip that is to blame all of this mess can be caused by one little computer virus one little piece of misinformation can break down communication between people causing every person it touches to become infected and contagious to others imagine that every single time others gossip to you they insert a computer virus into your mind causing you to think a little less clearly every time then imagine that in an effort to clean up your own confusion and get some relief from the poison you gossip and spread these viruses to someone else now imagine this pattern going on in a never-ending chain between all the humans on earth the result is a world full of humans who can only read information through circuits that are clogged with a poisonous contagious virus even worse the black magicians or computer hackers who intentionally spread the virus think back to a time when you or someone you know was angry with someone else and desired revenge in order to seek revenge you said something to or about that person with the intention of spreading poison and making that person feel bad about him or herself as children we do this quite thoughtlessly but as we grow older we become much more calculated in our efforts to bring other people down then we lie to ourselves and say that person received a just punishment for their wrongdoing when we see the world through a computer virus it is easy to justify the cruelest behavior what we don't see is that misuse of our word is putting us deeper into hell for years we've received the gossip and spells from the words of others but also from the way we use our word with ourselves we talk to ourselves constantly and most of the time we say things like oh i look fat i look ugly i'm getting old i'm losing my hair i'm stupid i never understand anything i will never be good enough and i am never going to be perfect do you see how we use the word against ourselves we must begin to understand what the word is and what the word does if you understand the first agreement be impeccable with your word you begin to see all the changes that can happen in your life changes first in the way you deal with yourself and later in the way you deal with other people especially those you love the most consider how many times you have gossiped about the person you love the most to gain the support of others for your point of view how many times have you hooked other people's attention and spread poison about your loved one in order to make your opinion right your opinion is nothing but your point of view it is not necessarily true your opinion comes from your beliefs your own ego and your own dream we create all this poison and spread it to others just so we can feel right about our own point of view [Music] if we adopt the first agreement and become impeccable with our word any emotional poison will eventually be cleaned from our mind and from our communication and our personal relationships including with our pet dog or cat impeccability of the word will also give you immunity from anyone putting a negative spell on you you'll only receive a negative idea if your mind is fertile ground for that idea when you become impeccable with your word your mind is no longer fertile ground for words that come from black magic instead it is fertile for the words that come from love you can measure the impeccability of your word by your level of self-love how much you love yourself and how you feel about yourself are directly proportionate to the quality and integrity of your word when you are impeccable with your word you feel good you feel happy and at peace you can transcend the dream of hell just by making the agreement to be impeccable with your word right now i'm planting that seed in your mind whether or not the seed grows depends upon how fertile your mind is for the seeds of love it's up to you to make the agreement to be impeccable with your word nurture this seed and as it grows in your mind it will generate more seeds of love to replace the seeds of fear the first agreement will change the kind of seeds your mind is fertile for the first agreement is one you should make if you want to be free if you want to be happy if you want to transcend the level of existence that is hell to be impeccable with your word is very powerful use the word in the correct way use the word to share your love use white magic beginning with yourself tell yourself how wonderful you are how great you are tell yourself how much you love yourself use the word to break all those teeny tiny agreements that make you suffer just this one agreement can change your whole life impeccability of the word can lead you to personal freedom to huge success and abundance it can take away all fear and transform it into joy and love just imagine what you can create with impeccability of the word you can transcend the dream of fear and live a different life you can live in heaven in the middle of thousands of people living in hell because you are immune to that hell you can attain the kingdom of heaven from this one agreement be impeccable with your word the second agreement don't take anything personally the second agreement is don't take anything personally whatever happens around you don't take it personally using an earlier example if i see you on the street and i say hey you are so stupid without knowing you it's not about you it's about me if you take it personally then perhaps you believe you're stupid maybe you think to yourself how does he know is he clairvoyant or can everybody see how stupid i am you take it personally because you agree with whatever was said as soon as you agree that poison goes through you and you are trapped in the dream of hell what causes you to be trapped is what we call personal importance personal importance or taking things personally is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about me during the period of our education or our domestication we learn to take everything personally we think we are responsible for everything me me always me nothing other people do is because of you it is because of themselves all people live in their own dream in their own mind they are in a completely different world from the one we live in when we take something personally we make the assumption that they know what is in our world and we try to impose our world on their world even when a situation seems so personal even if others insult you directly it has nothing to do with you what they say what they do and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds their point of view comes from all the programming they received during domestication if someone gives you an opinion and says hey you look so fat don't take it personally because the truth is that this person is dealing with his or her own feelings beliefs and opinions that person tried to send poison to you and if you take it personally then you take that poison and it becomes yours taking things personally makes you easy prey for these predators the black magicians they can hook you easily with one little opinion and feed you whatever poison they want and because you take it personally you eat it up you eat all their emotional garbage and now it becomes your garbage but if you do not take things personally you are immune in the middle of hell immunity to poison in the middle of hell is the gift of this agreement when you take things personally you feel offended and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts you make something big out of something so little because you have the need to be right and make everybody else wrong you also try hard to be right by giving them your own opinions in the same way whatever you feel and do is just a projection of your own personal dream a reflection of your own agreements what you say what you do what you think or feel and the opinions you have are according to the agreements you have made and these opinions have nothing to do with me it is the way you see the world it is nothing personal because you are dealing with yourself not with me others are going to have their own opinion according to their belief system so nothing they think about me is really about me but it is about them you may even tell me hey what you're saying is hurting me but it is not what i am saying that is hurting you it is that you have wounds that i touch by what i have said you are hurting yourself there is no way that i can take this personally not because i don't believe in you or don't trust you but because i know that you see the world with different eyes with your eyes you create an entire picture or movie in your mind and in that picture you are the director you are the producer you are the main actor or actress everyone else is a secondary actor or actress it is your movie the way you see that movie is according to the agreements you have made with life your point of view is something personal to you it is no one's truth but yours then if you get mad at me i know you are dealing with yourself i am the excuse for you to get mad and you get mad because you are afraid because you're dealing with fear if you're not afraid there is no way you will get mad at me or hate me if you are not afraid there's no way you'll be jealous or sad [Music] if you live without fear if you love there is no place for any of those emotions [Music] if you don't feel any of those emotions it is logical that you will feel good when you feel good everything around you is good and everything around you is great everything makes you happy you're loving everything that's around you because you're loving yourself you're happy with the movie that you're producing happy with your agreements with life you're at peace and you live in that state of bliss where everything is wonderful and everything is beautiful in that state of bliss you are making love all the time with everything that you perceive whatever people do feel think or say don't take it personally if they tell you how wonderful you are they're not saying that because of you you know you're wonderful it is not necessary to believe other people who tell you that you're wonderful don't take anything personally even if someone got a gun and shot you in the head it was nothing personal even at that extreme even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true therefore you don't need to take whatever you hear in your own mind personally the mind has the ability to talk to itself but it also has the ability to hear information that is available from other realms sometimes you hear a voice in your mind and you may wonder where it came from the mind lives in more than one dimension there may be times when you have ideas that don't originate in your mind but you're perceiving them with your mind [Music] you have the right to believe or not believe these voices and the right not to take what they say personally you have a choice just as you have a choice of what to believe and agree with in the dream of the planet the mind can also talk and listen to itself part of the mind is speaking and the other part is listening it is a big problem when so many parts of your mind are all speaking at the same time each one has different thoughts and feelings each one has a different point of view the programming in the mind all of those agreements we have made are not necessarily compatible with each other every agreement is like a separate living being with its own personality all these little living beings create inner conflict because they're alive and they each have a voice there are conflicting agreements that go against other agreements and on and on until it becomes a big war in the mind the mitote is the reason humans hardly know what they want how they want it or when they want it they don't agree with themselves because there are parts of the mind that want one thing and other parts that want exactly the opposite only by making an inventory of our agreements will we uncover all of the conflicts in the mind and eventually make order out of the chaos of the mitote don't take anything personally because by taking things personally you set yourself up to suffer for nothing humans are addicted to suffering at different levels and to different degrees and we support each other in maintaining these addictions humans agree to help each other suffer if you have the need to be abused you'll find it easy to be abused by others likewise if you're with people who need to suffer something in you makes you abuse them it is as if they have a note on their back that says please kick me they are asking for justification for their suffering their addiction to suffering is nothing but an agreement that is reinforced every day wherever you go you will find people lying to you and as your awareness grows you'll notice that you also lie to yourself do not expect people to tell you the truth because they also lie to themselves you have to trust yourself and choose to believe or not to believe what someone says to you when we really see other people as they are without taking it personally we can never be hurt by what they say or do even if others lie to you it's okay they're lying to you because they're afraid they're afraid you will discover that they are not perfect it is painful to take off that social mask if others say one thing but do another you're lying to yourself if you don't listen to their actions but if you're truthful with yourself you'll save yourself a lot of emotional pain telling yourself the truth about it may hurt but you don't need to be attached to the pain if someone is not treating you with love and respect it is a gift if they walk away from you if that person doesn't walk away you will surely endure many years of suffering walking away may hurt for a while but your heart will eventually heal then you can choose what you really want you'll find that you don't need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices when you make it a strong habit not to take anything personally you avoid many upsets in your life your anger jealousy and envy will disappear and even your sadness will simply disappear if you don't take things personally if you can make this second agreement a habit you'll find that nothing can put you back into hell there is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally you become immune to black magicians and no spell can affect you regardless of how strong it may be the whole world can gossip about you and if you don't take it personally you are immune someone can intentionally send emotional poison and if you don't take it personally you will not eat it when you don't take the emotional poison it becomes even worse in the center but not in you you can see how important this agreement is taking nothing personally helps you to break many habits and routines that trap you in the dream of hell and cause needless suffering just by practicing this second agreement you begin to break dozens of teeny tiny agreements that cause you to suffer and if you practice the first two agreements you will break 75 percent of the teeny tiny agreements that keep you trapped in hell write this agreement on paper and put it on your refrigerator to remind you all the time don't take anything personally as you make a habit of not taking anything personally you won't need to place your trust in what others do or say you will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices you are never responsible for the actions of others you are only responsible for you when you truly understand this and refuse to take things personally you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others if you keep this agreement you can travel around the world with your heart completely open and no one can hurt you you can say i love you without fear of being ridiculed or rejected you can ask for what you need you can say yes or you can say no whatever you choose without guilt or self-judgment you can choose to follow your heart always then you can be in the middle of hell and still experience inner peace and happiness you can stay in your state of bliss and hell will not affect you at all the third agreement don't make assumptions the third agreement is don't make assumptions we have the tendency to make assumptions about everything the problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth we could swear they're real we make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking we take it personally then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word that is why whenever we make assumptions we're asking for problems we make an assumption we misunderstand we take it personally and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing all the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally take a moment to consider the truth of this statement the whole world of control between humans is about making assumptions and taking things personally our whole dream of hell is based on that we create a lot of emotional poison just by making assumptions and taking it personally because usually we start gossiping about our assumptions remember gossiping is the way we communicate to each other in the dream of hell and transfer poison to one another because we are afraid to ask for clarification we make assumptions and believe we are right about the assumptions then we defend our assumptions and try to make someone else wrong it is always better to ask questions than to make an assumption because assumptions set us up for suffering the big mitote in the human mind creates a lot of chaos which causes us to misinterpret everything we only see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear we don't perceive things the way they are we have the habit of dreaming with no basis in reality we literally dream things up in our imaginations because we don't understand something we make an assumption about the meaning and when the truth comes out the bubble of our dream pops and we find out it was not what we thought it was at all an example you're walking in the mall and you see a person you like that person turns to you and smiles and then walks away you can make a lot of assumptions because of this one experience and even create a whole fantasy and you really want to believe this fantasy and make it real in your mind a whole relationship begins from that the whole dream begins to form just from your assumptions and you think oh this person really likes me maybe you even get married in this fantasy land but the fantasy is in your mind in your personal dream making assumptions in our relationships is really asking for problems often we make the assumption that our partner knows what we think and that we don't have to say what we want we assume they're going to do what we want because they know us so well they don't do what we assume they should do we feel so hurt and say you should have known another example you decide to get married and you make the assumption that your partner sees marriage the same way that you do then you live together and you find out this is not true this creates a lot of conflict but you still don't try to clarify your feelings about marriage the husband comes home from work and the wife is mad and the husband doesn't know why maybe it's because the wife made an assumption without telling him what she wants she makes an assumption that he knows her so well that he knows what she wants as if he can read her mind she gets so upset because he fails to meet her expectations making assumptions in relationships leads to a lot of difficulties a lot of misunderstandings with people we supposedly love [Music] in any kind of relationship we can make the assumption that others know what we think and we don't have to say what we want they're going to do what we want because they know us so well if they don't do what we want what we assume they should do we feel hurt and think how could you do that you should know again we make the assumption that the other person knows what we want a whole drama is created because we make this assumption and then put more assumptions on top of it it is very interesting how the human mind works we have the need to justify everything to explain and understand everything in order to feel safe we have millions of questions that need answers because there are so many things that the reasoning mind cannot explain it is not important if the answer is correct just the answer itself makes us feel safe this is why we make assumptions if others tell us something we make assumptions and if they don't tell us something we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate even if we hear something and we don't understand we make assumptions about what it means and then believe the assumptions we make all sorts of assumptions because we don't have the courage to ask questions these assumptions are made so fast and unconsciously most of the time because we have agreements to communicate this way we have agreed that it is not safe to ask questions we have agreed that if people love us they should know what we want or how we feel when we believe something we assume we are right about it to the point that we will destroy relationships in order to defend our position we make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do we assume that others think the way we think feel the way we feel judge the way we judge and abuse the way we abuse this is the biggest assumption that humans make and this is why we have a fear of being ourselves around others because we think everyone else will judge us victimize us abuse us and blame us as we do ourselves so even before others have a chance to reject us we have already rejected ourselves that is the way the human mind works we also make assumptions about ourselves and this creates a lot of inner conflict we overestimate or underestimate ourselves because we haven't taken the time to ask ourselves questions and to answer them perhaps you need to gather more facts about a particular situation or maybe you need to stop lying to yourself about what you truly want often when you go into a relationship with someone you like you have to justify why you like that person you only see what you want to see and you deny there are things you don't like about that person then you make assumptions and one of the assumptions is my love will change this person but this is not true your love will not change anybody if others change it's because they want to change not because you can change them real love is accepting other people the way they are without trying to change them if we try to change them this means we don't really like them find someone whom you don't have to change at all it is much easier to find someone who is already the way you want him or her to be instead of trying to change that person also that person must love you just the way you are so he or she doesn't have to change you at all if others feel they have to change you that means they really don't love you just the way you are so why be with someone if you're not the way he or she wants you to be we have to be what we are so we don't have to present a false image just imagine the day that you stop making assumptions with your partner and eventually with everyone else in your life the way you communicate will change completely and your relationships will no longer suffer from conflicts created by mistaken assumptions one way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions make sure the communication is clear if you don't understand ask have the courage to ask questions until you are clear as you can be and even then do not assume you know all there is to know about a given situation once you hear the answer you will not have to make assumptions because you will know the truth also find your voice to ask for what you want everybody has the right to tell you no or yes but you always have the right to ask likewise everybody has the right to ask you and you have the right to say yes or no if you don't understand something it is better for you to ask and be clear instead of making an assumption the day you stop making assumptions you will communicate cleanly and clearly free of emotional poison without making assumptions your word becomes impeccable with clear communication all of your relationships will change not only with your partner but with everyone else you won't need to make assumptions because everything will become clear this is what i want this is what you want if we communicate in this way our word becomes impeccable if all humans could communicate with impeccability of the word there would be no wars no violence no misunderstandings all human problems would be resolved if we could just have good clear communication this then is the third agreement don't make assumptions just saying this sounds easy but it is difficult to do it is difficult because we so often do exactly the opposite we have all these habits and routines that we are not even aware of becoming aware of these habits and understanding the importance of this agreement is the first step but understanding its importance is not enough information or an idea is merely the seed in your mind what will really make the difference is action taking the action over and over again strengthens your will nurtures the seed and establishes a solid foundation for the new habit to grow after many repetitions these new agreements will become second nature and you will see how the magic of your word transforms you from a black magician into a white magician a white magician uses the word for creation giving sharing and loving by making this one agreement a habit your whole life will be completely transformed when you transform your whole dream magic just happens in your life what you need comes to you easily because spirit moves freely through you this is the mastery of intent the mastery of love and gratitude and the mastery of life this is the goal of the toltec this is the path to personal freedom [Music] the fourth agreement always do your best there is just one more agreement but it's the one that allows the other three to become deeply ingrained habits the fourth agreement is about the action of the first three always do your best under any circumstance always do your best no more and no less but keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next everything is alive and changing all the time so your best will sometimes be high quality and other times it will not be as good when you wake up refreshed and energized in the morning your best will be better than when you're tired at night your best will be different when you're healthy as opposed to sick or sober as opposed to drunk your best will depend on whether you're feeling wonderful and happy or angry and upset in your everyday moods your best can change from one moment to another from one hour to the next from one day to another your best will also change over time as you build the habit of the four new agreements your best will become better than it used to be regardless of the quality keep doing your best no more and no less than your best if you try too hard to do more than your best you will spend more energy than is needed and in the end your best will not be enough when you overdo you deplete your body and go against yourself then it takes you longer to accomplish your goal but if you do less than your best you subject yourself to frustrations self-judgment guilt and regrets just do your best in any circumstance in your life it doesn't matter if you're sick or tired if you always do your best there is no way you can judge yourself and if you don't judge yourself there's no way you're going to suffer from guilt blame and self-punishment by always doing your best you will break a big spell that you have been under doing your best you're going to live your life intensely you're going to be productive you're going to be good to yourself because you will be giving yourself to your family to your community to everything when you always do your best you take action and it is the action that is going to make you feel intensely happy doing your best is taking the action because you love it not because you're expecting a reward most people do exactly the opposite they only take action when they expect a reward and they don't enjoy the action and that's the reason why they don't do their best for example most people go to work every day just thinking of payday and the money they will get from the work they're doing they can hardly wait for friday or saturday whatever day they receive their money and can take time off they're working for the reward and as a result they resist work they try to avoid the action and it becomes more difficult and they don't do their best they work so hard all week long suffering the work suffering the action not because they like to but because they feel they have to they have to work because they have to pay the rent because they have to support their family they have all that frustration and when they do receive their money they're unhappy they have two days to rest to do what they want to do and what do they do they try to escape they get drunk because they don't like themselves they don't like their life there are many ways that we hurt ourselves when we don't like who we are on the other hand if you take action just for the sake of doing it without expecting a reward you'll find that you enjoy every action you do rewards will come but you're not attached to the reward you can even get more than you would have imagined for yourself without expecting a reward when you do your best you don't give the judge the opportunity to find you guilty or to blame you if you've done your best and the judge tries to judge you according to your book of laws you've got the answer i did my best there are no regrets that is why we always do our best it is not an easy agreement to keep but this agreement is really going to set you free when you do your best you learn to accept yourself but you have to be aware and learn from your mistakes learning from your mistakes means you practice look honestly at the results and keep practicing this increases your awareness do your best because you want to do it not because you have to do it not because you were trying to please the judge and not because you were trying to please other people if you take action because you have to then there's no way you're going to do your best then it's better not to do it [Music] action is about living fully inaction is the way that we deny life inaction is sitting in front of the television every day for years because you're afraid to be alive and take the risk of expressing what you are expressing what you are is taking action you can have many great ideas in your head but what makes the difference is the action without action upon an idea there will be no manifestation no results and no reward a good example of this comes from the story about forrest gump he didn't have great ideas but he took action he was happy because he always did his best at whatever he did he was richly rewarded without expecting any reward at all taking action is being truly alive it's taking the risk to go out and express your dream this is different than imposing your dream on someone else because everyone has the right to express his or her dream god is life in action the best way to say i love you god is to live your life doing your best the best way to say thank you god is by letting go of the past and living in the present moment right here and now whatever life takes away from you let it go when you surrender and let go of the past you allow yourself to be fully alive in the moment letting go of the past means you can enjoy the dream that is happening right now if you live in a past dream you don't enjoy what is happening right now because you'll always wish it to be different than it is there is no time to miss anyone or anything because you are alive not enjoying what is happening right now is living in the past and being only half alive this leads to self-pity suffering and tears [Music] you were born with the right to be happy you were born with the right to love to enjoy and to share your love you are alive so take your life and enjoy it don't resist life passing through you because that is god passing through you just to be to take a risk and enjoy your life is all that matters say no when you want to say no and yes when you want to say yes you have the right to be you but you can only be you when you do your best when you don't do your best you're denying yourself the right to be you that's a seed that you should really nurture in your mind you don't need knowledge or great philosophical concepts you don't need the acceptance of others you need to express your own divinity by being alive and by loving yourself and others the first three agreements will only work if you do your best don't expect that you will always be able to be impeccable with your word your routine habits are too strong and firmly rooted in your mind but you can do your best don't expect that you will never take anything personally just do your best don't expect you will never make another assumption but you can certainly do your best by doing your best the habits of misusing your word taking things personally and making assumptions will become weaker and less frequent with time you don't need to judge yourself feel guilty or punish yourself if you cannot keep these agreements [Music] if you do your best always over and over again you will become a master of transformation you were a master of speaking your language because you practiced everything you have ever learned you learn through repetition you learn to write to drive and even to walk by repetition practice makes the master by doing your best you become a master action is what makes the difference if you do your best in the search for personal freedom in the search for self-love you will discover that it's just a matter of time before you find what you're looking for it's not about daydreaming or sitting for hours dreaming and meditation you have to stand up and be a human you have to honor the man or woman that you are respect your body enjoy your body love your body feed clean and heal your body exercise and do what makes your body feel good your own body is a manifestation of god and if you honor your body everything will change for you when you practice giving love to every part of your body you plant seeds of love in your mind and when they grow you will love honor and respect your body immensely every action then becomes a ritual in which you are honoring god after that the next step is honoring god with every thought every emotion every belief every thought becomes a communion with god and you will live a dream without judgments victimization and free of the need to gossip and abuse yourself the four agreements are a summary of the mastery of transformation one of the masteries of the toltec when you honor these four agreements together there is no way that you will live in hell if you are impeccable with your word if you don't take anything personally if you don't make assumptions if you always do your best then you are going to have a beautiful life the dream of the planet will be transformed into your personal dream of heaven [Music] the knowledge is there it's just waiting for you to use it the four agreements are there you just need to adopt these agreements and respect their meaning and power just do your best to honor these agreements they are so simple and logical that even a child can understand them but you must have a very strong will a very strong will to keep these agreements why because wherever we go we find that our path is full of obstacles everyone tries to sabotage our commitment to these new agreements and everything around us is a setup for us to break them the problem is all the other agreements that are a part of the dream of the planet they are alive and they are very strong [Music] that's why you need to be a great hunter a great warrior who can defend these four agreements with your life your happiness your freedom your entire way of living depends on it the warriors goal is to transcend this world to escape from this hell and never come back as the toltecs teach us the reward is to transcend the human experience of suffering to become the embodiment of god that is the reward we really need to use every bit of power we have to succeed in keeping these agreements so if you fall do not judge do not give your judge the satisfaction of turning you into a victim no be tough with yourself stand up and make the agreement again okay i broke my agreement to be impeccable with my word i will start all over again and just for today i will be impeccable with my word do not be concerned about the future keep your attention on today and stay in the present moment you can do it if you live just one day at a time if you break an agreement begin again tomorrow and again the next day it will be difficult at first but each day will become easier and easier until one day you will discover that you are ruling your life with these four agreements and you will be surprised at the way your life has been transformed always do your best to keep these agreements and soon it will be easy for you today is the beginning of a new dream [Music] uh [Music] you

Channel: David Berry 75

Views: 20,671

Rating: 4.9388037 out of 5

Keywords: The Four Agreements#, Don Miguel Ruiz

Id: tnEwKpP531E

Length: 65min 32sec (3932 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 13 2020