This video was made possible by Hover. Get 10% off your first purchase of a custom
domain or email address by going to hover.com/hai. This is Joe Arpaio, or Sheriff Joe, or Uncle
Joe, or America’s toughest sheriff, or Twitler, depending on where you get your news, and
what your opinion is on whether or not immigrants deserve rights. For our purposes though, just think of him
as a sort of reincarnated Voldemort, but instead of half a nose, he now has a nose-and-a-half. This is Joe Arpaio’s reaction to eating
the godless culinary creation called Nutraloaf—which is, quite possibly, one of only a few things
in the world more gross than Joe Arpaio. Here comes the airplane and oh no, seems he
doesn’t like it. If a big tough guy without a soul can barely
gag down a baby bite of this loaf, then it must be bad. So bad, in fact, that recently some have argued
nutraloaf is so disgusting that serving it in prison violates American’s constitutional
rights. Now in order to understand such legal claims,
we need to take a closer look as to what Nutraloaf actually is. Let’s start with the name. You can learn a lot from a name; look at Half
as Interesting—in just three words, I’m telling you right off the bat that you should
probably be doing something else. The name Nutraloaf is also quite telling. Now I know you’re thinking, “well hey,
anything that starts with Nutra must be good to eat right?” Well, tell that to all the people who have
died swallowing their NutriBullet blenders. In this case, Nutraloaf—or as some call
it, food loaf, meal loaf, or the loaf—does technically count as edible, and technically
it does have the nutrients to sustain life, but whether or not that really makes it food
is another question. So, what exactly is inside of a Nutraloaf
you ask? Well, that depends on your local correctional
facility’s home recipe, but as a general rule, there’s a lot of foods in a food loaf. In Ohio, the recipe calls for salad, spaghetti
with tomato sauce, green beans, white bread, a chocolate chip cookie, and a cup of coffee,
milk, or Kool-Aid to bind it. But like flags, educational achievement, and
opinions on the Civil War, Nutraloaf recipes vary from state to state. In Illinois, correctional facility cooks replaced
Ohio’s cookies with a milder sweetener of apple sauce mixed with breadcrumbs and garlic
powder. No matter what the combination, you just throw
it all in a bowl, then blend, shape, and bake it into loaf form, and boom, you’ve got
a Nutraloaf. This isn’t your mom’s meatloaf, your grandma’s
malt loaf, or your dad’s MeatLoaf, this is Nutraloaf—a hunk of compressed kitchen
trash that looks like it was cooked by a rat, and not a talking, Pixar-animated rat, just
like… a rat. Now, considering how cheap and easy a food
like the loaf is to make, you’re probably thinking that prisons started dishing loaf
to keep food costs down, but good news: you’ll be relieved to know that, in fact, the nutraloaf
was designed in correctional test kitchens as a form of punishment. Oh wait, that wasn’t good news at all. You see, if a prisoner were to break the rules—become
hostile, throw a lunch tray, take part in a pillow fight, start gossiping, reveal Downton
Abbey spoilers, etc—they might be punished with the loaf, served without silverware,
at room temperature, tasting like the food version of a tsunami, which supposedly would
help deter future incidents and serve as punishment without causing bodily harm—well, bodily
harm beyond one’s taste-buds or ego, or sense of identity and self worth that is—and
it is this purpose, as punishment, that got the room temperature loaf into hot water. The thing is, in the USA we’re having a
kind of hard time figuring out where to draw the line with punishment—I mean some of
us are watching The Masked Dancer by choice—and the taste-bud busting nutraloaf has got caught
up in the middle of this reckoning. In the past few decades, a host of legal cases
have questioned if the loaf represents a violation of the eighth amendment, which protects against
cruel and unusual punishment. These court cases, usually at the state level,
have gone both ways—courts in some states like Arizona, Illinois, and Nebraska have
ruled that the loaf is all good since it meets the nutritional needs of prisoners, while
courts in Vermont and Washington, DC have ruled that if used as a punishment, then the
prisoners at least deserve a hearing prior to being subjected to the loaf. These mixed results from state to state all
stem from the simple fact that it’s pretty hard to define what exactly is “cruel and
unusual.” You see, unlike the fan-favorite fifth amendment,
which set in stone that each and every American has a right to Double Jeopardy! At 4pm eastern before the local news, the
eighth amendment is far less cut and dry. If something is cruel and unusual largely
boils down to a few questions: is it degrading to human dignity? Is it rejected by society? Is it patently unnecessary? But those questions are still so wishy washy
it’s hard to pin down. So while it might seem to many of us that
a blended loaf of household leftovers at room temperature might not fit the larger purpose
of correcting criminal habits, the law folks have had a hard time ridding the world of
the loaf through legal means. But legal confusion hasn’t stopped some
states from losing the loaf. Massachusetts, Minnesota, and most recently
New York have banned Nutraloaf outright, and pressure from activist groups have led to
a decreasing use of the loaf in prisons across the US. So, while lawyers continue the uphill battle
to display how gross, mean, and dumb equates to cruel and unusual, public activists backed
by woke twitterers, and now, semi-successful YouTubers, I guess, have started to turn the
tide in the war against the loathed loaf. If you too have strong feelings about the
Nutraloaf and want to make a difference in banning it in your home state, you should
probably start a website with Hover. Right now, domains like weloaththeloaf.com
and makeloavestastyagain.com are currently available as I speak. With their best in class customer support
and over four hundred domain extensions beyond .com, .net, and .org, there’s really no
better way to get your word out there. And, if you’re more of an email person than
a website person, Hover still has you covered, offering custom email addresses that look
sharp and professional—so sharp and professional, in fact, that I myself use them. Whether you run a business or just want a
cooler-looking email address, it’s worth getting your domain now before its gone, especially
given Hover’s transparent and fair pricing, so give Hover a try and head to Hover.com/HAI
to get 10% of your first purchase of a domain or email address.
Somebody's already bought http://weloaththeloaf.com/. It redirects to this video.
i can't watch it because of the network admin
fuck you network admin enforcing restricted mode đź–•đź–•đź–•