♪ TIMMY IS AN AVERAGE KID ♪ THAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ♪ MOM AND DAD AND VICKY ♪ ALWAYS GIVING HIM COMMANDS >> BED, TWERP! ♪ THE DOOM AND GLOOM ♪ UP IN HIS ROOM ♪ IS BROKEN INSTANTLY ♪ BY HIS MAGIC LITTLE FISH ♪ WHO'LL GRANT HIS EVERY WISH ♪ 'CAUSE IN REALITY ♪ THEY ARE HIS ODDPARENTS ♪ FAIRLY ODDPARENTS >> WANDS AND WINGS. >> FLOATY, CROWNY THINGS. ♪ ODDPARENTS ♪ FAIRLY ODDPARENTS ♪ REALLY MOD, BEAN POD ♪ BUFF BOD, HOT ROD >> OBTUSE, RUBBER GOOSE, GREEN MOOSE, GUAVA JUICE, GIANT SNAKE, BIRTHDAY CAKE, LARGE FRIES, CHOCOLATE SHAKE! ♪ ODDPARENTS ♪ FAIRLY ODDPARENTS ♪ THEY LET YOU LIVE ♪ WHEN YOU WERE A KID ♪ WITH FAIRLY ODDPARENTS ♪ >> COME ON, HONEY, SMILE. SMILES MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER. >> (gasping) CHEST ON FIRE... CAN'T BREATHE... >> MAN, IT'S AN AWESOME DAY AND I'M STUCK IN THE HOUSE DOING CHORES. IF THERE WAS LESS STUFF IN HERE TO CLEAN I'D BE DONE BY NOW. >> I KNOW, I KNOW! YOU COULD MELT SOME OF IT WITH HEAT VISION. >> OR YOU COULD WISH THAT ALL THE CHORES WERE DONE. >> THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, WANDA. I WISH-- >> OR YOU COULD MELT IT WITH HEAT VISION. >> RIGHT. GOTTA GO WITH THE SUPER POWER. I WISH I HAD HEAT VISION! AWESOME. >> HEY, THAT'S NOT FUNNY. NOW IT'S FUNNY. >> WHOA! (cackling) >> AW, SEE? LOOK HOW HAPPY WE'VE MADE HIM. >> TOASTER'S CLEAN. LAUNDRY'S DONE. DAD'S TROPHY DUSTED. >> SMILE. GAH! TROPHY SENSES TINGLING. TO THE TROPHY CASE! (angry stuttering) WHAT HAPPENED HERE!? >> UH, I MELTED YOUR TROPHY WITH HEAT VISION. >> WHERE DID YOU GET HEAT VISION? >> INTERNET? >> OH, HE'S GOOD. >> I WON THIS TROPHY 30 YEARS AGO WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE. AND YOU MELTED IT! I'M SO MAD I WISH BEAMS OF HEAT COULD COME OUT OF MY EYES RIGHT NOW. >> NO NO, OURS IS THE ONE WITH THE SILLY PINK HAT. >> GO TO YOUR ROOM AND DON'T COME OUT UNTIL YOU LEARN RESPONSIBILITY FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S PROPERTY. OR WELDING SKILLS. WHATEVER COMES FIRST. >> WHOA, I'VE NEVER SEEN DAD THAT MAD BEFORE. ALL OVER A DUMB TROPHY HE WON 30 YEARS AGO. >> Wanda: WELL, IT WASN'T SO DUMB TO HIM. MAYBE YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE. >> YEAH, I GUESS. >> OR YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND STOP YOUR DAD FROM EVER WINNING THE THING IN THE FIRST PLACE. >> UH, WHAT HE SAID. >> ALL RIGHT! TWO WISHES FOR COSMO, ZIP FOR WANDA. I'M ON FIRE BABY. >> THERE YOU GO, ONE MAGIC TIME SCOOTER TO TAKE YOU ANY WHEN YOU WANT TO GO. >> EXCELLENT. WOW, THE TIME STREAM. WE'RE TRAVELLING 30 YEARS INTO THE PAST. >> WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU COULD HAVE JUST WISHED YOURSELF TEN MINUTES INTO THE PAST AND STOPPED YOURSELF FROM MELTING THE TROPHY IN THE FIRST PLACE. >> I COULD HAVE WHAT? AWESOME! WHAT A TOTALLY WICKED TRIP. >> YOU MEAN, GROOVY, WHAT A TOTALLY FAR OUT TRIP. WE'RE IN THE 1970s NOW. >> BUT WE WERE IN THE 1970s IN THE 1970s. >> GROOVY. WE'RE BACK FROM THE 1940s. >> AND, LIKE, BEST OF ALL, BILLY, YOU STOPPED YOUR DAD FROM WINNING THAT MEDAL. NOW YOU WON'T HAVE THE CHANCE TO, LIKE, MELT IT WITH HEAT VISION. >> LIKE, I'M NEVER GOING TO SUGGEST HEAT VISION AGAIN, MAN. >> OH, YEAH. I REMEMBER THAT NOW. >> WOO! CHECK IT OUT. >> WOW! LIKE, YOU'RE LIKE US, BUT, LIKE-- >> MORE MATURE AND CONCERNED ABOUT WEBSITES AND THE GLOBAL WARMING. >> GUYS? I'M GOING TO GO FIND MY FUTURE DAD. >> COOL. WE'RE GOING TO STAY HERE AND FIND OURSELVES. >> HEY, THERE WE ARE! LET'S DANCE. >> ONE TWO, ONE TWO, ONE TWO... >> THERE HE IS. THAT'S MY DAD AS A KID. HEY, DAD! >> HUH, WELL THAT'S MY NICKNAME, STRANGER. MY REAL NAME IS-- (truck rumbling) BUT EVERYONE CALLS ME DAD. NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'VE GOT TO FINISH TRAINING FOR THE BIG RACE TOMORROW. I'M GOING TO WIN AND GIVE THE TROPHY TO THAT GROOVY CHICK OVER THERE. >> (gasping) CHEST ON FIRE... CAN'T BREATHE... >> WOW, MY MOM AS A KID. >> YEAH, AND SHE'S GOT A BEAUTIFUL NAME. IT'S-- (truck rumbling) BUT EVERYONE CALLS HER MOM. >> MAN, DAD'S REALLY DETERMINED. I GOTTA MAKE HIM LOSE THAT RACE SO HE DOESN'T WIN THAT DUMB TROPHY. >> I HATE LAVA LAMPS. >> I KNOW. THEY'RE REALLY BORING. >> OH, REALLY? LIKE, WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? >> AND YOU CAN DOWNLOAD DIFFERENT LAVA. >> HEY, THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA. SOME DAY I'LL LINK EVERY COMPUTER IN THE WORLD TOGETHER. I'LL CALL IT THE INTERNET. >> THAT'S SILLY. YOU SHOULD CALL IT THE TIMMY. >> UH, OKAY. >> OH, THAT BILLY GATES WITH HIS CRAZY IDEAS. >> Timmy: COME ON, PIZZA! ICE CREAM, PIZZA, ICE CREAM! >> YOU SURE THIS IS SOME FUTURISTIC TRAINING PROGRAM? >> OF COURSE. I'M A FITNESS INSTRUCTOR. >> YOU'RE TOO YOUNG. >> NO, ACTUALLY, I'M 40. I JUST LOOK TEN. THAT'S HOW FIT I AM. NOW KEEP EATING! COME ON, 16 MORE MILES AND WE'RE HALFWAY DONE. NOW IT'S TIME FOR SCARY STORIES FROM THE FUTURE. IN THE FUTURE, THERE WILL BE 500 TV CHANNELS. >> FAR OUT! >> BUT NOTHING TO WATCH. >> NOOOO! (alarm clock ringing) OH MY GOSH! IT'S TIME FOR THE RACE. >>> (cheering) >> I LOVE A GOOD RACE. >> WELL, WE THINK ALL RACES ARE GOOD, MAN. >> WE DON'T JUDGE. >> OH, LOOK, HERE COME THE RUNNERS. >> ALL RIGHT, DAD DIDN'T WIN THE STUPID TROPHY. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. >> I WONDER HOW THAT'LL EFFECT YOUR FUTURE. >> YEAH, I'LL BET-- (zapping) >> THAT CAN'T BE GOOD. >> AND FOR COMING IN LAST PLACE, YOU GET AN ALL-EXPENSE PAID MANDATORY 12 YEAR SCHOLARSHIP TO DICTATOR SCHOOL. >> WHAT? >>> HUP, HUP, HUP, HUP... >> DAD'S NEVER MENTIONED DICTATOR SCHOOL. >> HEY, LITTLE DUDE, YOU'D BETTER GET BACK TO YOUR OWN TIME AND FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING DOWN. >> AND WE'LL GO TOO. TIME ISN'T MY MASTER. >> RIGHT ON! >>> WOOO! >> WHOA, THE FUTURE LOOKS BLEAK. >> AW, MAN, I CHANGED THE FUTURE. (sirens wailing) >>> COPS! >> IT'S THE MAN, MAN. >> FIGHT THE POWER! >> CHESTER, A.J.! BOY, AM I GLAD TO SEE-- >> WELCOME TO DIMMSDALE, HAPPIEST PLACE ON THE PLANET. >> OR ELSE. NOW, SHOW US YOUR PAPERS. >> WHOA, MAN, THE SYSTEM'S TRYING TO TAKE HIM PRISONER. >> WE'RE ALL PRISONERS ON THE INSIDE. >> I LOVE YOU. >> GUYS, COME ON, IT'S ME, YOUR BEST FRIEND. >> SILENCE. OUR BEST FRIEND IS OUR CHEERFUL LEADER, DAD. >> IT'S ME, TIMMY TURNER, AND THAT'S MY DAD. >> WE ARE ALL DAD'S CHILDREN. >> AW, MAN, DAD NEVER MET MOM BECAUSE HE NEVER WON THE TROPHY. I DON'T EXIST ANYMORE! AND SINCE I DON'T EXIST, COSMO AND WANDA AREN'T MY GODPARENTS. >> HA! >> A.J.: AFTER HIM! >> I GOTTA FIND MY DAD AND GET HIM TO FIX THIS MESS. (doorbell ringing) DAD! >> HA HA, THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL ME. OR ELSE! COME ON IN. OR ELSE! WHO ARE YOU, SON? >> I'M YOUR SON. >> ALL PEOPLE ARE MY CHILDREN. I RULE THE EARTH. THAT'S ME, GRADUATING DICTATOR COLLEGE, AND THIS IS ME TAKING OVER THE WORLD, WITH SMILES, AND THIS IS WHERE I'D PUT A TROPHY. IF I HAD ONE! SORRY, LOST THE HAPPY, BUT THE HAPPY'S BACK. >> WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY ALL THE TIME? >> WELL, 30 YEARS AGO AFTER LOSING BOTH MY TROPHY AND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, I DOVE INTO DENIAL, AND AS RULER, I DEMAND THE WORLD TO DO THE SAME. THAT'S WHY EVERYONE SMILES EVERY WAKING MOMENT. >> OR ELSE? >> NOW YOU'RE GETTING IT. >> BUT YOU CAN'T BE HAPPY ALL THE TIME. >> HA, REBELLION! THAT IS SO 70s. GUARDS! >> Cosmo: PSST! LITTLE FREEDOM FIGHTER! >> WE'LL GET YOU OUT OF HERE. >>> OOH, THE COLOURS... >> COME ON, I GOTTA GET BACK TO THE 70s AND MAKE SURE MY DAD WINS THAT RACE. >> UH, YOU FOLLOWING THIS? >> WELL, I'M A LEADER, NOT A FOLLOWER. >> (screaming) (alarm clock ringing) >> (Timmy muffling alarm clock) >> WOW, YOU LOOK JUST LIKE YOUR DAD AS A KID. >> THAT'S THE PLAN. >> OH,<i> NOW</i> HE HAS A PLAN. >> coach: ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, GO! >> OH, MAN, I FORGOT, I'M THE SLOWEST KID IN MY CLASS. I'M GOING TO LOSE. OH, I'M SO MAD I-- I STILL HAVE HEAT VISION! >>> (cheering) >> coach: AND THE FIRST PRIZE IS THIS AMAZING TROPHY. >> HI MOM, I'M DAD. WILL YOU TAKE THIS, GO OUT WITH ME, MARRY ME, AND SOMEDAY HAVE BOY WITH A SILLY PINK HAT? >> OKAY. I'LL COME BY YOUR HOUSE LATER. >> GROOVY. IF I'M ASLEEP IN MY TENT IN THE BACKYARD, WAKE ME UP AND TELL ME ABOUT THE RACE WITH EXCRUCIATING DETAIL. >> OKAY. >> WAY TO GO, LITTLE DUDE! >> YOU'RE BACK. THAT MEANS EVERYTHING'S BACK TO NORMAL. >> WHAT IS NORMAL, ANYWAY? >>> Cosmos: I LOVE YOU! >> AND I ALWAYS WILL. >>> AWW... >> HEY, IT WORKED! >> BYE, 70s COSMO AND WANDA. IT'S BEEN-- >> OUTTA SIGHT? >> WHATEVER. >> WELL, IT WAS NICE MEETING US. SOLID! >> IF YOU'RE EVER IN THE FUTURE-- >> OH, WE WILL BE. >> OH, RIGHT! >> NOW, ALL I GOTTA DO IS APOLOGIZE TO MY DAD FOR MELTING HIS TROPHY. >> YOU COULD JUST GO FORWARD IN TIME AND UP TO-- >>> QUIET! >> GO ON, TIMMY, YOU CAN DO IT. JUST GO IN AND LET YOUR DAD KNOW YOU'RE SORRY. >> EVERYTHING'S STILL MELTED, WHICH MEANS THE TIME STREAM'S FIXED. AND I'M STILL IN TROUBLE. COOL! DAD, WHAT'RE YOU DOING? >> OH, TRYING TO LOCATE A NEW TROPHY OFF THE TIMMY COMPUTER NETWORK. >> UH, I JUST WANTED TO SAY, I'M SORRY ABOUT MELTING YOUR TROPHY. I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS SO IMPORTANT TO YOU. >> APOLOGY ACCEPTED, SON. YOU KNOW, I WAS PRETTY MAD YESTERDAY, BUT FOR SOME REASON, NOW I'M JUST GLAD YOU EXIST. YOU KNOW, THAT WHOLE RACE IS SUCH A BLUR TO ME, I BARELY REMEMBER IT ANYWAY. >> HEH HEH, YEAH. >> IN FACT, HERE. GIVE IT TO SOME GIRL YOU THINK IS GROOVY. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN. >> YES, I DO. >> STUPID TROPHY! >> HEY! >> YOU'LL THANK ME FOR THIS LATER. >> I'M WELCOME? >> OH, INTERNET, BREAKFAST IS READY. >> Dad: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, HONEY. ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR ANNIVERSARY PRESENT? >> OH, I'M SO EXCITED! WHAT IS IT? WHAT IS IT? >> OPEN YOUR EYES. >> OH! IT'S A BLINDFOLD. OH, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED ONE. >> AND I'VE ALWAYS WANTED ROLLER SKATES. I LOVE THE BLINDFOLDED ROLLER SKATE ANNIVERSARY. WHOA! >>> (laughing) >> IF THEY'RE INTO THAT STUFF, THEY'RE GOING TO LOVE IT WHEN I COOK THEM THEIR SPECIAL ANNIVERSARY DINNER. >> DON'T FORGET, TIMMY, YOU STILL HAVE TO HELP ME WITH MY ANNIVERSARY SURPRISE. >> I KNOW. TODAY'S YOURS AND WANDA'S ANNIVERSARY, TOO. THAT'S CONVENIENT. STYROFOAM? >> YEAH. WANDA AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 9,895 YEARS TODAY. THAT'S THE STYROFOAM ANNIVERSARY. >> COOL! >> YEAH. THANKS FOR SENDING WANDA AWAY FOR THE DAY SO I COULD DECORATE THE ROOM. WHAT SORT OF MEANINGLESS TASK DID YOU WISH FOR HER TO DO, ANYWAY? >> OH, SOMETHING SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO, EVEN WITH MAGIC. >> FOR THE LAST TIME, LEARN A TRICK! SIT UP! ROLL OVER! CARE ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN YOURSELF, YOU STUPID CAT. MR. WHISKERS. >> THANKS FOR THE STYROFOAM TUXEDO, COSMO. WANDA'S GOING TO BE REALLY SURPRISED. >> I WONDER HOW SHE'S GOING TO SURPRISE ME. SHE REALLY LOVES ME, YOU KNOW. SHE LOVES EVERYTHING. >> I HATE EVERYTHING! I HATE CATS, I HATE THIS DAY, I'M GOING TO BED. WHICH I HATE. >> HEY, LAMBCHOP, AREN'T YOU FORGETTING SOMETHING? >> OH, RIGHT. >> (cat snarling) >> I'M OUT OF HERE. >> (Cosmo whimpering) CLAWS, SHARK, SHARK, OW... >> SHE DIDN'T REMEMBER OUR ANNIVERSARY. I SPENT ALL MORNING SLAVING OVER A HOT WAND FOR THIS? >> AW, CHEER UP, DUDE. I'M SURE SHE'LL LOVE THIS STYROFOAM. >> Wanda: AND GET THIS STYROFOAM OUT OF THE FISH BOWL! >> FINE! IF SHE CAN'T REMEMBER OUR ANNIVERSARY, THEN I'M NOT GOING TO BE AROUND FOR HER NOT TO REMEMBER ANY MORE ANNIVERSARIES WITH. >> HUH? >> I'M GOING HOME TO MY MOMMY, AND I'M TAKING MY HALF OF THE MAGIC WITH ME. >> HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, COSMO. >> YOU MEAN, YOU REMEMBERED? >> OF COURSE. EVERY FAIRY KNOWS THAT THE 9,895th ANNIVERSARY IS THE FALSE ANGER ANNIVERSARY. >> EVERY FAIRY EXCEPT COSMO. HE THINKS IT'S REAL ANGER, AND HE'S SO UPSET, HE WENT HOME TO HIS MOTHER. >> HIS MOTHER? MAMA COSMA? OH NO, THAT'S REALLY BAD. SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW COSMO AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 9,895 YEARS. >> WHAT DOES SHE THINK HE'S BEEN DOING FOR ALMOST TEN THOUSAND YEARS? >> DID YOU GET THE MILK, COSMO? IT SEEMS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN GONE FOR TEN THOUSAND YEARS. >> MAMA, I HAVE A CONFESSIONS TO MAKE. I WASN'T EXACTLY OUT GETTING MILK. >> WELL, AS LONG AS YOU WEREN'T OUT GETTING MARRIED TO THAT WANDA GIRL, THEN I STILL LOVE YOU. >> BUT MAMA, I DID GET MARRIED, TO WANDA, AND I HAD A FIGHT, WITH WANDA. >> OH, POOR COSMO. I TOLD YOU SHE WAS HORRIBLE. GOOD THING YOU DIDN'T MARRY HER. >> BUT I DID MARRY HER! (sighing) >> OH, YOU'VE GOTTEN THE MILK. BRING YOUR SINGLE SELF IN. THERE'S SOME LOVELY YOUNG LADIES WAITING TO MEET YOU. >> COOL, WE'RE IN FAIRY WORLD. I WISH-- >> BACK OFF, HE'S WITH ME. POSERS. >> HEY, ARE YOU OKAY? >> GETTING A HUMAN TO FAIRY WORLD TAKES A LOT OF MAGIC. WHEN COSMO AND I AREN'T IN TUNE WITH EACH OTHER, IT'S ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE. >> YOU MEAN I'M STUCK HERE UNTIL YOU GUYS MAKE UP? I WISH WE COULD GET TO MAMA COSMA'S HOUSE, AND QUICK. >> THAT MUCH I CAN STILL DO. >> GIRLS, COSMO'S HERE. AND HE BROUGHT MILK. THESE NICE YOUNG LADIES HAVE BEEN WAITING ALL THIS TIME TO NAB YOU. I MEET YOU. >>> (giggling) >> NOW, WHO WANTS SOME "I RATHER DISLIKE WANDA" COOKIES? >> I DO! I'M STARVED. >> Wanda: MAMA COSMA'S PLACE. COSMO'S MAD AND HIS MAMA IS PROBABLY IN THERE MAKING IT WORSE. >> COME ON, WANDA, I'M SURE COSMO LOVES YOU JUST AS MUCH AS HE ALWAYS DID. >>> (gasping) >> Wanda: COSMO! THIS BETTER NOT BE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. >> YOU MEAN COSMO NOT SURROUNDED BY WOMEN MORE AESTHETICALLY PLEASING THAN YOU AND BITING YOUR FACE IN HALF ON A COOKIE? >> NOPE, THAT PRETTY MUCH HITS THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. >> SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN. >> HE'S NOT GOING TO STAND FOR THAT. >> THAT'S RIGHT. TAKE THIS, YOU NASTY YELLING ANNIVERSARY FORGETTER! >> DID HE DO ANYTHING? >> I MADE HER HAIR MORE SUMMERY. >> I'M NOT A SUMMER, I'M A WINTER. >> HERE, TRY THIS. >> YOU'RE SUCH A MAMA'S BOY. >> I AM NOT! >> NOW YOU ARE. >> HEY! YOU MADE ME MAKE A POOPIE. >>> (fighting) >> WE DON'T LIKE POTTY MOUTHS. >> ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT. I WISH YOU GUYS WOULD STOP FIGHTING. THIS IS SILLY. YOU TWO LOVE EACH OTHER. THAT'S WHY YOU CHOSE EACH OTHER OVER EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD. AND IF YOU HAD TO, I BET YOU'D CHOOSE EACH OTHER ALL OVER AGAIN. >> OKAY, YOU'RE ON. >>> ON WHAT? >> tv announcer: ON <i> THE FAIRY DATING GAME!</i> >> I DIDN'T MEAN RIGHT NOW. AND I WISH I WEREN'T A TOILET ANYMORE! IT'S GETTING LATE. I STILL GOTTA MAKE MY PARENTS ANNIVERSARY DINNER. I HOPE SHE'S NOT TOO HUNGRY. WHEN SHE'S HUNGRY, MOM GETS KINDA TESTY. >> MONKEY FEET. BOY, I WONDER WHAT'S TAKING TIMMY SO LONG WITH OUR DINNER. >> (snarling) >> NOW, HONEY, TOO MUCH FIBRE WILL SPOIL YOUR APPETITE. >> (snarling) >> AND I'M JUST FINE WITH THAT. >> tv announcer: AND NOW, HERE'S THE HOST OF <i> THE FAIRY DATING GAME,</i> CUPID! >> HI THERE. WELCOME TO<i> THE FAIRY</i> <i> DATING GAME,</i> WHERE FAIRY GODPARENTS FIND THE FAIRY OF THEIR FAIRY DREAMS. OUR CONTESTANT TODAY, PRODDED BY HIS MOTHER, IS HERE TO SEE IF HE'D CHOOSE HIS WIFE ALL OVER AGAIN. PLEASE WELCOME FAIRY AND MAMA'S BOY, COSMO! >> I AM NOT A MAMA'S BOY. >> Mama: YES YOU ARE. >> YES, MAMA. >> YOU'LL SEE. HE'LL PICK WANDA AS HIS TRUE LOVE JUST LIKE THE FIRST TIME. >> YOU'RE RIGHT, WHICH IS WHY I BRIBED CUPID WITH OODLES OF CASH. >> COSMO, IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO START ASKING QUESTIONS OF OUR TWO BEAUTIFUL MYSTERY CONTESTANTS. >> HEY! >> AND THE AVERAGE-LOOKING ONE. >> WHO YELLS A LOT. >> WHOEVER YOU CHOOSE WILL BE HIT BY THESE MAGIC LOVE ARROWS. FABULOUS! WHICH WILL BOND THEM TO YOU FOREVER! OKAY, FAIRY BACHELORETTES. HERE'S A QUESTION. >> UH, WOULD YOU EVER, "A", YELL AT ME ON OUR STYROFOAM ANNIVERSARY, OR "B", THROW AN ANGRY CAT ON ME. NO OR NO? >> STYROFOAM? BUT IT WAS THE FALSE ANGER ANNIVERSARY. >> WAIT, WAIT. IT WAS THE FALSE ANGER ANNIVERSARY? >> WHO CARES? ASK ANOTHER QUESTION. >> YEAH. FAIRY BACHELORETTE. WOULD YOU TURN ME INTO A LITERAL EXAMPLE OF A MAMA'S BOY, YOU KNOW, WITH A DIAPER, A BINKY, AND EVERYTHING? >> WELL, MAYBE THAT WAS A LITTLE HARSH, BUT IT WAS FUNNY. >> YEAH, IT WAS KIND OF FUNNY... BUT HARSH. >> HA HA HA-- (bell dinging) >> OOP, I'M SORRY, YOU'RE ALL OUT OF TIME. WE'LL BE BACK FOR THE FINAL QUESTION AFTER THIS COMMERCIAL BREAK. (buzzer sounding) >> IT'S NOT WORKING, HE'S FALLING IN LOVE WITH HER AGAIN. >> WELL, WHERE'S THE DOUGH? YOU KNOW AS THE GOD OF LOVE I LOVE CASH. >> AND I LOVE THE IDEA OF COSMO NOT BEING ABLE TO LOVE WANDA. >> AT THIS RATE I'M NEVER GOING TO GET HOME. I'LL JUST MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER AND SORT IT OUT LATER. >> OOH, I SPY A NICKEL. >> YOU KNOW, MAMA COSMA, THERE IS SOMETHING I LOVE MORE THAN MONEY. YOU! >> (screaming) >> NOW ALL I GOTTA DO IS GIVE WANDA A CHANCE TO WIN COSMO BACK AND I CAN GET THEM TO GET ME HOME. >> tv announcer: AND NOW, HERE'S CUPID. >> HI, TIMMY. >> NO, I'M CUPID. >> OKAY, THEN I WANT TO BE THE EASTER BUNNY. I LOVE EGGS. >> FOCUS! OKAY, COSMO, YOUR LAST QUESTION, AND THEN YOU GET TO CHOOSE THE FAIRY BACHELORETTE. >> IF I THOUGHT YOU WERE MAD AT ME AND YOU REALLY WEREN'T AND I WENT HOME TO MY MOTHER'S AND WE BOTH ENDED UP ON A GAME SHOW, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY? >> UH, RED? >> RED? >> I WOULD SAY, I WAS SORRY, AND I WOULD SAY I'M PROUD TO BE YOUR WIFE, WANDA, WHO IS YOUR WIFE. >> OOH, OOH, HER, I PICK HER! WHOEVER SHE IS. I HOPE IT'S WANDA. GOODBYE, LADIES. WANDA! >> I'M SORRY I YELLED AT YOU, PUDDING. I PROMISE I WON'T DO IT UNLESS YOU REALLY MESS UP AGAIN. >> LIKE I WILL TOMORROW? >> IT'S A DATE. >>> (tv audience cheering) >> NO! I FORBID THIS. >> WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL, MAMA? WHY DO YOU HATE WANDA SO MUCH? >> IT'S NOT WANDA. I'D DISLIKE ANYBODY WHO TOOK MY COSMO LOO-LOO AWAY. THAT'S WHY I WANT HIM TO MARRY STAR OR TWINKLE. THEY'RE ROBOTS. >>><i> WE LOVE YOU, COSMO...</i> <i> WE LOVE YOU, COSMO...</i> >> THEY'D DO ANYTHING I TOLD THEM TO DO BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THEY'RE PROGRAMMED. UNLIKE YOU, YOU BOSSY PINK-HAIRED OVERLY CONTROLLING-- >> HEY! LET'S GET SOMETHING STRAIGHT. I'M NOT BRIGHT. BIG WORDS CONFUSE ME. I HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN OF A RODENT. AND WANDA LOVES ME ANYWAY. SHE MAKES ME HAPPY, AND THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH FOR YOU. >>> AWW... >> I NEVER REALIZED HOW MUCH YOU LOVED HER. >> SO YOU'LL BACK OFF? >> OH, HEAVENS NO. I'LL JUST HAVE TO TRY HARDER. I'LL-- >> Cupid: OH, MAMA COSMA! >> YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE LAST OF ME. I'LL BE BACK. I'LL-- >> robot: HI. >> OH MY GOSH, IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT ON EARTH. COME ON! I WISH I COULD GO HOME. >> WELL, YOU KNOW I NEED A LITTLE MORE MAGIC TO GET US BACK, TIMMY. >> ME! PICK ME! >> EVERY TIME. >> Timmy: ONE MINUTE TO MIDNIGHT. ENJOY YOUR ANNIVERSARY DINNER, GUYS. I MADE IT MYSELF. >> OH, TIMMY, THIS IS REALLY VERY SWEET, BUT YOU KNOW I DON'T REALLY LIKE MUSHY SUGAR-COATED CRASH NEBULAS POTATO CHIP CHOCOLATE CASSEROLE. OOPS! BUT NOW I DO! >> AND I LOVE YOUR MOM! >> (Mom snarling) >> BUT I CAN WAIT. >> IS THIS THE GETTING RAINED ON BY MUSHY GOBS OF FOOD ANNIVERSARY? >> IT IS NOW. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. >> IT'S OUR ANNIVERSARY?
