The Day Dawn is Breaking

good evening ladies and gentlemen tonight BYU presents an edited version of Breaking Dawn I am clear play I am here to ensure that your ears and eyes are protected from such inappropriate material as language disturbing images vampire gore anything pertaining to a honeymoon and male native-american toplessness Renae Jacksonville Charlie Forks Jacob black Seth Clearwater Phil Phil honey look we got in the mail Phil this is the happiest day Wow Netflix is here ah great my 18 year old daughter's marrying a hundred and seven year old this is why we moved from Provo oh no Jacob what is it it it's Bella she's getting married are you gonna be all right yeah I just need to be shirtless for a while I can't believe we're getting married tomorrow Bella before we get married I have something really important to tell you you can tell me anything Edward it's really bad I'll inexplicably love you no matter what I'm a vampire yeah I knew that already whoa good that could have been awkward also I watch you when you sleep at night yes and me preteen girls and a disturbing number of middle-aged moms are okay with that also I've killed people yeah me too it's just part of life right wait what I think I may have run over somebody with my truck I can't be completely sure it may have been a deer but deer don't have arms and they can't scream for help so anyway the most disturbing thing that you could do really is take off your shirt like you did in the second movie that was just too much I'm glad we had this conversation yeah me too I'm gonna go work out till our wedding oh Bella's your wedding he must be so excited happiest day of my life oh now Bella sorry I freaking us out I know I needed a chill hey bills hey Dad I got something I want to give to you thank you yeah okay oh man with my secretions I didn't know Bella was as girly she's not Edward did the decorations yeah weird uh you doing okay yeah I just did eight hundred crunches and I can't feel my face really I was gonna say you were looking kind of soft now's not the time dad I'm not your dad what you don't have a dad you may now kiss the bride hey I'm gonna go wash my eyes out Bella I have a surprise for you really I know you haven't seen your best friend in a really long time yes I kind of wish I was your best friend but uh hey Bella Jacob hi how are you you look so strong yeah yeah okay sorry I missed the wedding oh it's okay nothing even happened you smell so good you're so warm ooh should you too they're good together well what am i sick you know what I'm just as good as he is behold no no we talked about this she's caught on something yeah I'll uh I'll see you later Belle's yeah take longer Edward okay oh is this where we're going for a huh I think I'm pregnant what Emmet yeah sorry I can see Jacob coming he looks very angry we might need you to use your incredible strength to protect us all done hey guys I'll take it should not run it to a man so I guess you've come over because you've heard Bella's back in town no I just came by to reiterate that even though you all are supposed to be immortal and perfect I am clearly the hottest person in the cast do you want to say that again if you'd like to see Bella oh hey Bella it's good to see you hey Jacob how's it going good it I Rosalie your kind of exactly in my way would you mind oh it's okay guys let him see me Oh wolf I know right she used to be hot I hate this baby well Jacob it's so good to see you oh no you know what you don't deserve this come on Jacob I'm pregnant does being pregnant make you grow a unibrow sometimes I'm growing a unibrow for two come on I still got it where are you keeping it I look I gotta go talk to the pack about this telepathically after I've transformed into a wolf I know it sounds super awesome but when you see it it really looks stupid you're welcome all right Bella listen I've been looking at your ultrasound and things aren't looking very normal okay oh my god Oh Bella it has your eyes um is it going to be okay well you see the thing is when you look at Bella I think you're gonna die shucks yeah well I just I I can't keep anything down I understand and I know what you need to do you're gonna have to drink blood okay now I know this sounds disgusting but we've tried to make it as appetizing as possible oh that's good wait what oh sorry that's my dr. pepper shame on you for enjoying it you're gonna have to drink out of this bears head what okay stick the straw mid-year yeah okay it tastes smoky she cute quiet everyone I can hear someone thinking is it me it's never you it's the baby I can hear its thoughts oh that's adorable what is it saying hello father oh I don't like that I Love You Father and I love blood oh there is so much blood it's all around me oh it is good father oh YUM what is it um she says she loves you and that's it she's gonna be totally normal and well-adjusted somebody called the fire department now you stay away from my freaky baby Jakob shut up baby you shut up okay let's just calm down guys I thought of a name for the baby oh great if it's a boy I'll call it EJ after Edward Jacob cuz that's not awkward at all and if it's a girl I'll name it Renesmee Oh I'm crying not laughing that's what you get for calling me Renesmee get better through the gurney and good IV for the the surgery I'm a doctor oh so much blood demon oh I'll help you Bella oh no you don't if you're shirtless oh my huh okay there's too much going on we're gonna cut the visual and leave the audio go whoo Bella focus on my I'm in love with your baby you

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Views: 46,446

Rating: 4.9359999 out of 5

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Id: FP0Bt-VdBsc

Length: 14min 14sec (854 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 08 2012