"When Other People BREAK, GIVE UP, and STOP... I DON'T!" | Tom Bilyeu's | Top 50 Rules

the only credit I will give myself is when other people break and give up and stop I just don't the thing that gives you the most energy in life is something that you have no natural inclinations for it then go learn that go get extraordinary go become the best of whatever it is you want to be but go become the best of it and see how the world opens to you need motivation watch a top 10 with believe nation what's that believe nation it 7 my one word is believe and I believe in you I believe you have Michael Jordan level talent add something and I want you to find it embrace it and use it to make a difference so let's get your motivation to attend and get you believing in you grab a snack and chew in today's lessons from a man who went from being in a morbidly obese family being dead broke and being unable to pay his bills to building a billion-dollar brain and focusing his efforts on helping people unlock their true potential and pulling them out of the matrix he's tom bill you and here's my take on his top fifty rules for success also if you want to hear what tom bill you and other successful entrepreneurs have to say about building confidence check out my 250 for confidence series where every day for the next 254 days i will send you a 30 second to five-minute video or free to help you build unstoppable confidence check out the link in the description below there's a gap between who people are and what they tell you they want to accomplish because in the beginning i hired everyone everyone right not because i'm super smart and thought hey I should there was no one else right like we had the smallest handful of people ever and so I started doing the interviewing as I was doing it I started realizing God these guys tell me they want to do something amazing with their life and if you just listen like wow yeah like I want to be in your team dude you're gonna do amazing stuff and then you realize they can't execute on that dream so if I can't they they don't have the mindset yet okay let's kick it off with rule number one my personal favorite believe when you launched quest there were sixteen hundred other protein bar companies that launched in 2010 flavors or companies are companies yep what gave you the audacious mindset to think that you could compete against all those plus the ten twenty years of other nutrition companies out there and beat them yeah it's I'm having any experience in this yeah I'm gonna give you a phrase that I play in my own head that I know and I say out loud fifty percent of people love and fifty percent of people hate me for it but it's true so hey here we go I have the arrogance of belief I believe in myself no I believe in one thing about me I am NOT the smartest guy I got a nine ninety on my SATs I took it twice that's my combined score that's bad for both of us I was joking people a monkey smearing feces on the test could score higher than I did like it's literally terrible yeah but I always believed that I could do whatever I set my mind to right so that's the only the only credit I will give myself is when other people break and give up and stop I just don't write and it comes down to the story you tell yourself about yourself and that's the story I tell myself it was just this last weekend I was at an entrepreneurial organization and they brought a world-class mountain biker in and said hey anybody that wants to go for a ride with her go and I thought okay you know I'll go and and cuz she's saying we can do a beginner course whatever I thought was perfect now jump on the bike go I've never been on a mountain bike before ever in my life I've been on a bike of any kind probably in 15 years that was probably stupid and we're in God's Sun Valley Idaho so it's not exactly flatland and we go mountain biking and I'm dying I'm just done it's it like 6,000 feet first of all so I can match my breath and I keep stopping and everyone's like yeah you know you took hey man like go ahead and turn back it's all good it's all good and I'm like I don't think you know the story I tell myself like there's no universe in which I stop so I keep going finally they've done the loop right some people have turned back whatever they've done the loop and now they're coming back and they're passing me I'm still headed out and they're like you need to turn around and I'm like I'm so sorry but I'm not gonna turn around and they said okay but then we're no longer responsible for you and I was like okay I like it is what it is man I appreciate that no worries I'm a big boy like go and I just kept going and I must have come in an hour and twenty minutes or something after everybody else but I finished and that meant so much to me I was like I'm gonna ignore the fact I got my ass handed to me I came in dead last yeah yeah but I'm gonna be proud that I didn't quit interesting did you say arrogance of belief is that we say arrogance have believed rule number two find your mission now if you don't know this quote live by it one can have no smaller or greater mastery the mastery over oneself that's da Vinci da Vinci did amazing things with his life I wanted to do equally amazing things with mine and if that's the game that we're playing if I can construct my belief system if I can choose at any moment to believe something that's more empowering than I was believing the moment before and that that will actually find its way into my actions allow me to do things that I couldn't do the moment before then it's like that moment in the matrix where neo realizes he knows kung-fu and that's like as funny as that is that's how I think about life to me the very fundamental purpose of life is to find out how many skills I can acquire that have utility and then put that utility to the test in service of something greater than myself how many skills can I acquire that have utility put that utility to the test in service of something greater than myself that is for me the purpose of life now I don't actually want to know kung-fu that is not the mission that I'm here to live but I knew that I had to identify my mission so what was going to be my mission mother Theresa is an amazing quote nobody will act for the many but people will act for the one and that really struck me because I realized they were right I was looking at this global pandemic of ill health and I wasn't moving into action but thinking about my mom and my sister or the uncle I had who ate himself to death when I was 12 years old that made me want to act rule number three used the darkness can you describe what you mean by going into the darkness I can alright so going into the darkness I think everybody is motivated by two different things one you have the beautiful things in your life the things that are going well the things that you're grateful for the things you're moving towards instead of a way you have a compelling vision of your future it's something that you're very excited about all of those things are the beautiful things now the flip side of that equation are the things that it's people that doubt you its haters it's things you're moving away from its fear-based things it's something that you absolutely refuse to let happen so one that is incredibly potent to me are the people that want to see me fail so it's very different than people who just think you're going to fail I actually don't have a lot of aggression towards people like that but people that want me to fail those people I have a lot of aggression for and I find in very acute moments the darkness serves you better in very acute moments now the light the things you're moving towards the things that are beautiful the things that you're grateful for all of that is the only winning strategy long-term because the darkness becomes corrosive you start to become bitter you start to be angry you stop being optimistic you stop seeing things in a way that's empowering and positive and I mean just thinking about the deep limbic system when it gets inflamed you perceive things as negative I think negativity stops people from making progress there's a whole host of neurological reasons and the sort of mindset reasons why I think that being negative over the long run becomes very very detrimental and hold you back but from an acute standpoint they've done Studies on this if you want someone to be able to endure more pain the surest way to get people to endure more pain is to let them get angry let them be aggressive and in doing that people are able to withstand in the clinical trials I'll say that's probably more than this but in clinical trials they're able to withstand 30% more pain so just straight being able to take more pain anger and aggression lets you do 30% more so that's why I think in acute ways and short-term bursts that the darkness will serve you remember for adopt a growth mindset there's a gap between who people are and what they tell you they want to accomplish because in the beginning I hired everyone everyone right not because I'm super smart and thought hey I should there was no one else right like we had the smallest handful of people ever and so I started doing the interviewing as I was doing it I started realizing God these guys tell me they want to do something amazing with their life and if you just listen like wow yeah like I want to be in your team dude you're gonna do amazing stuff and then you realize I can't execute on that dream so if I can't they they don't have the mindset yet like there's you could do an entire podcast series on how to get the mindset but I'll just use Carol Dweck and her amazing voting mindset as I'm sure such a good book I see Simon's the neck up there who is also very influential in us and she says some people either believe they're smart is there ever gonna be and that's that so they're gonna be ego protective and they're gonna you know try to thwart anything that makes them feel like they're not the smartest person or whatever and then there's people with a growth mindset and they realize I'm not the smartest person and I'm certainly not as smart as I could be yeah so even if I am the smartest person ever lived I could get a little bit smarter and so when they're confronted with contradictory information they learn and they soak it up like well whereas other people are fixed mindset right correct it's done like no this is the way and I'm writing that's wrong yes and I would say the world everyone's on a spectrum right even I as much as I believe in it and work my ass off to be a growth mindset I still have let's call it 10% where I catch myself in like come on dude you know better than that yeah but so people that fall unless they sub 50% spectrum of the growth mindset it's got to be 98 percent rule number five get better and I remember this was a piece of advice that my father-in-law gave me that I promptly ignored and don't worry I've since apologized to him and very much adopted this mentality but he said the most important thing in business is to know more about the topic than anybody else in the room and if you don't see an echo of that in my preparation for the interviews and I'm not doing a good job of explaining it that was something that when he said it I am so sad to report that it did not hit me but for whatever weird reason it really stuck with me and it was one of those things that I thought about and thought about and thought about and then it finally manifested itself and me realizing that to get good at anything whether that's business whether that's interviewing it really is that level of preparation it is about going above and beyond to get good at something and I'm thinking about this last night at the event and there's always like a thousand questions that I get asked about how you build a business you know whatever your dream is how do you go and actually manifest it and the honest answer to everything is get better get better and I've had really talented artists begin reaching out to me on Instagram because obviously that's a huge focus for us in the next phase is going to be getting writers getting artists bringing them together creating amazing comic books in phase one and they'll have like a really small following and they'll say you know like what what am I doing wrong what's the secret and the truth is even though they're really good they've got to get a lot better and when you can be world-class but admit that you're not yet undeniable cuz there's unfortunately a lot of people that are world-class like think about it you make a deal at Olympics your whole life you've been busting your ass you finally make it you're one of the best in your country truly a world-class player but you come in 7th 8th it's you haven't gotten to the point where you're so good that you can't be ignored and that like in today's world where social media rules everything and anyone can get on there create noise you've got to find a way to cut through the clutter and the way to cut through the clutter one of there's more and I will recommend perennial seller by our boy Ryan holiday really interesting book really excited I think we've booked him for like November that'll be a lot of fun but is in his book he talks about several of the other things you're gonna do but I'll say that the most important one is to get so good that you cannot be ignored cannot be ignored so if you're being ignored by the way the world has told you that you've not yet gotten to where you want to get to so everybody knows my obsession with Disney read the Disney biography in times of trouble Disney always came back round to make the product better make the product better rule number six execute only execution matters burn that into your nervous system get a tattoo do whatever you need to do to remind yourself only execution matters thinking about it feeling good about it those are awesome but if you have a vision of something you're trying to do become whatever and you don't execute against it I don't need you to want to bail build a big business if you tell me you want to be the greatest parent of all time then I'm gonna ask you what are you doing to execute on that goal what are you doing how do you define it what are your deliverables what are the metrics by which you're judging yourself and by the way if you don't want a grand goal you don't need one but then say what I'm trying to do is get centered I'm trying to experience happiness even that you can begin to look at ways that you can improve that rule number seven don't fear pain your talent and intelligence are not fixed they're malleable so you suck at skateboarding because you're afraid of pain so the only thing you need to know right now the point is not to avoid the pain and you need to stop asking yourself what's the least you can do to get good and you need to start asking yourself what's the most you can bear to become great once you understand the whole point is to let the suffering and the pain harden you into becoming the version of yourself that you need to become in order to execute at the highest level to be world-class at anything and stop avoiding it stop being afraid of it and start understanding what it really is which is the thing that shapes you so my entire youth I feared pain I moved away from pain if something was emotionally or physically difficult I avoided it and I remember being in the gym one day and going will you stop asking like what's the least you need to do to consider it a full week workout because it was like could I stop now could I stop now could I stop now and I was like do you want the muscles or do you want to like put on a show that you showed up like you showed up right like cuz the muscles demand what the muscles demand like you have to break them down you have to push you have to do more like so it is purely a question of how much you're willing to bear because there's never gonna be enough you could have always done more rule number eight have self-compassion everybody lean in nice and close self-compassion it's probably the most important thing that you can do for yourself is when you pick up you need to forgive yourself okay so that's really really important so and I'll walk you through an example about whatever 20 minutes ago I get really frustrated when people are trying to tell me something but they're whispering that redlines me in a way that I can't even begin to tell you and so it just happened while I'm here live on camera and I hold myself to a standard of catching my emotions before they rise up now this has happened twice today the first time it happened I caught myself yay the second time it happened I was like for real we're doing this again and I got very frustrated so I was very disappointed in myself for that I need to be compassionate towards myself forgive myself for that get better use it as practice and remember that life is in performance it really is about practice so once you can meet yourself with compassion then you can begin to let go of whatever it is that's really with your mindset you can get back on track you can refocus and don't wait till Monday and that's a mistake that everybody makes so if you fall off the wagon like $5.00 off the wagon at 9:58 at 9:59 I'm back on the wagon so I'm not waiting even for a 10 o'clock like you literally do it right there at that moment make it a part of your identity the year that's that person that does that so that is really really critical rule number 9 change your identity right now between me and the person I want to be between you and the person you want to be there is a gap of skillset and that's it but once you know your mission and once you believe that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to then you can do the extraordinary now for me getting out of that space of being lost of not knowing what I wanted to do with my life it all came down to needing to earn credibility with myself in very small incremental ways this is me sixty pounds ago and I knew if I was going to accomplish anything in my life I was going to have to get control of my mind now ironically there's two ways to get control of your mind way number one is directly going to the mind which can be very scary can be very daunting very ethereal it's a ephemeral it's hard to grab on to it's hard to touch but way number two is through the body and so I decided that my kung-fu was going to be to get very good at developing my body and in that process I was going to learn about nutrition which would allow me to help my mom and my sister in that process I was going to earn credibility with myself and earning credibility with yourself is so important do it in micro ways for me just showing up to the gym every day was a micro victory I said I was going to do it and I did it now you have to understand I hate working out so for all of you crazy people that get an endorphin rush from running I hate you all running through me is like being stuffed into a meat grinder there is absolutely nothing pleasurable about it whatsoever so whatever neurological thing you guys get that you've been blessed with I have not been blessed with that so for me showing up in the gym sucks eating a bowl of ice cream is awesome and so getting to getting to a better place for me was a totally different journey thank you and what that was was just showing up every day and putting in the work it was reading about human metabolism and understanding how what I eat impacts my body it was earning a little bit of discipline every day knowing that well I did it yesterday I can do it again today it was not eating something that I wanted to eat and most importantly and if you're taking notes write this down it was about changing my identity because at the end of the day identity and values drive behavior preach identity and values drive behavior so if you want to make a change you have to change your vision of who you are you have to begin telling yourself a different narrative and the narrative you tell yourself about yourself is everything and if you tell yourself that you're a scared under educated kid from Tacoma whose family has never accomplished anything let me tell you what you will become a scared under educated kid from Tacoma who never accomplishes anything because that's what you believe you tell yourself that story enough and it will become real but on the flip side you could tell yourself a story of you're a learner you learn faster than most people you're willing to put in more work than most people you're willing to read more books than most people you're willing to spend an inhuman amount of time every day improving your mind simply by getting new ideas into the system and that you will admit that you're wrong faster than anybody else that you won't let your ego get in the way and you tell yourself that story over and over and over so when somebody comes and tells you how stupid you are that you're just a dumb kid from Tacoma you go you're right that's amazing thank you for pointing out that flaw because now that I'm aware of it I can improve it because I'm the learner and once I switched my narrative to being the learner it didn't matter where I started it only mattered where I was trying to go and as long as I had that clarity then I could execute because I believed I could do anything I set my mind to without limitation rule number ten don't be a victim and then the last one which is maybe a little bit controversial because I use this word to get people's attention it's all your fault that what I mean by that is you always can control the outcome of anything so the example I give to people do it do I have time to give you a horse okay so the example I give to people and this is something that I do in the interview a lot so that people understand how we think a quest and if they think it's crazy I tell them if you think this story is crazy you should turn and run in the opposite direction you will hate it here but if in hearing like oh my god I want to be around people who think like that then you'll get us after hearing this story goes like this my wife is British that's actually true let's say that she was at home visiting her family in London she's in the bed that she grew up in the doors are locked the alarms on her mom's there she's safe and sound right at that moment a meteorite comes screaming through the atmosphere crashes into her bedroom and kills her whose fault is that now every time I asked that question once people stopped trying to guess of what they think I'm gonna say and they just give their answer they say it's nobody's fault divine providence fate force majeure dumb blind luck however you want to sum it up but that and my answer is no it's entirely my fault and the reason it's my fault is because I know that there's a group right now the track what are called near-earth objects that's very true by the way they're trying to find some way to knock them off course so if it could be something truly dangerous so whether it's a laser beam a planted nuclear explosion whatever it is something to bump it off course it doesn't collide with earth I've never sent them an email with encouraging words I've never sent them a dime on my money I've never called them up to give them any ideas nothing and I know they exist now I think that's smart because the likelihood of my wife being killed by a meteorite is very very low I'd be much better off focusing on car safety or something like that but I choose not to contact these people I choose to leave my wife at risk of being hit by a meteorite sure so even though I would be mortified and sad if it happened I would never waste time saying that it wasn't my fault because I could have done something and I chose not to yeah that to me is empowering that don't want people feeling guilty about it you shouldn't waste like I wrote an article about this one time people like y'all you're you're blaming the victim and all that stuff and what I'm to say is you don't have to allow yourself to be a victim even if you've been victimized right like you can transcend that and you can look back and go what could I have done differently oh my gosh I could have done all these things awesome I'm now in control again yeah right cuz being victimized is inevitable but being a victim that's a choice right it's like pain is inevitable sufferings a choice yeah yeah so once I freed myself from the belief that I couldn't break out of certain things like everyone told me ah dude your mom and your sister like they've got to want it people kept saying that they've gotta want it they've got to want to change and I was like I reject that because they're gonna die like they clearly don't want it so but I'm not willing to accept that I'm gonna lose these people who I love so much I'm not willing to accept that so I'm gonna acknowledge the human condition which is that they eat for pleasure and not for sustenance so I'm gonna give him food that they can eat for pleasure that's good for them yeah my sister's lost 120 pounds so it works right and my sister owns that like she did excuse me she did the hard work like she put the grinder she should be super proud of herself but at the end of the day the it was born of me not accepting that she you know that I had to wait for her to make that responsibility yeah exactly yeah so just paint that - any area of your life whether it's you want success it's not happening as your boss or whatever no your boss may be it but you haven't learned how to persuade to do what you want right right right which is how I think which is why I say I want to be a Jedi because I want to be able to persuade people to do things so that I can move the ball forward on the big goals that I want to accomplish and yeah just own it you can always change something rule number 11 pursue greatness relentlessly greatness is the most demanding mistress you're ever going to encounter and I understand the advice that I'm about to give you is not for everyone most people should turn this off but if you're gonna stick with me if you're going to listen to what I have to say it's because you want something tremendous in your life you want to stand out from everyone else you want to do something more than other people think as possible you literally want to stand outside the norm and if that's the case for you then understand that as Albert Einstein said only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master for this reason mastery demands all of a person if you want to get great if you really want to make a skill set your own if you want to be able to do something and at the end of the day if you want to transform the world if you want to make grand changes if you want to do all of that all the empty words that people spell all the time let me tell you the only thing that's going to separate you from all the other blowhards who are just talking words and will never do anything is to give yourself over completely to let that obsession let that thing that you love completely consume you and in that your only chance to really become great lies rule number 12 you can learn anything the only thing you have to believe in leaned close here my words the only thing you have to believe in right now is that humans are capable of learning that humans for whatever reason Nature has chosen to not endow us with a whole bunch of like pre-programmed things so for instance a baby horse a full I believe is how you say that when they're born they can already walk literally boom they come out and they're walking and all as well because that's all hardwired into them but a horse is a horse is a horse and they're gonna stay a horse and that's that and you're never gonna find a horse reading Chaucer just not gonna happen so that's all those decisions are pre-wired humans on the other hand come out they cannot take care of themselves they're a lump of flesh they basically know how to suckle and that's sort of the extent of it but now humans have the ability to go in all these crazy different directions and they can learn to become an astrophysicist they can learn to become carpenter a doctor an astronaut like the number of directions that humans can go in is crazy the amount of what was once known as junk DNA we now know as epigenetic signaling the way that we can respond in all these different directions to our environment to the things we choose to focus our energies on is is truly unique to humans is just absolutely astonishing so understanding that that's baked into the human animal is the ability to learn and go in any direction so once you realize that humans are adaptation machines that we can learn anything now it's like okay whatever you want to do you can do it as long as you're willing to pay that price I'm not saying that it's not gonna be hard it is gonna be very very hard I'm just saying that it is doable and that you will receive a return on investment in your energies and that's what people need to know and believe to the core of their being that my time in this direction will be rewarded now here's where people themselves up there is this retarded debate about whether or not it is hey am i pre-programmed I'm good at math and so that's it and I should go do things that are math where I'm good at verbal and I should go do things that are verbal I've naturally gifted as an athlete so I should go be an athlete look I'm not saying people don't get our wins people get early wins and if you happen to love the thing you're getting early wins and that's awesome man and you will find it just a little bit easier you've got a head wind or a tail wind I guess a tail wind you have a tail wind and so that yeah love that but if they're the thing that gives you the most energy in life is something that you have no natural inclinations for it then go learn that when I say that I have zero zero natural ability as an entrepreneur I mean zero I had to learn everything from not being lazy to problem solving to overcoming my paralyzing fear to look at world like a puzzle dealing with anxiety literally it it was comical as I was going down my journey in the beginning as an entrepreneur to figure this out it's ridiculous and then I meet people who are like ripping flowers out of people's front yards and selling them back to them like when I say that that was not me I had a paper route and I was so chicken to go up to people's doors that I actually only got half the money that I could have gotten for the same paper route the same amount of effort but because I was so afraid to go knock on people's doors and ask to collect the money that was do that for like two years I did a paper out for half the money okay that's how spastic of an entrepreneur I was when I started so you can learn this stuff now my goals demanded that I learn entrepreneurship so I learned it so that's what I want people to understand what is your goal work backwards from there if it lines up with what you're naturally good at that's amazing and congratulations but they're gonna be times where it doesn't line up and you've just got a either change your goal or recognize that I'm gonna have to figure these things out and because I'm an adaptation machine as a human being I can do all of that rule number 13 don't care what others think any advice for somebody who is taking steps to make a positive change but he is getting all kinds of negative consequences for bad decisions he took in the past at some point in fact I'll just quote loud sued the guy that wrote the daodejing he said if you worry about whether the other people think about you you will always be their prisoner so unless you're prepared to be other people's prisoners at some point if they are hurling dirt on you if they're constantly trying to Ribery you under the earth that you're trying to claw your way out from then you're never gonna get out you've got to just stop worrying about what they think so they can't actually affect you they can only try to influence your mindset so and even even now if people hate you slings and arrows you could get a job digitally you could go be a freelancer on up work or whatever people don't even have to know who you are so truly in today's world they are not gonna be able to stop you from getting a job but they can really mess with your head but only if you let them so I will say to that do not let them you've got to understand who you're trying to become believe in your ability to get there to become that person to understand that to continue to beat yourself up for something in the past is not going to serve you and so for that very reason let it go rule number 14 be laser-focused this question is from Phroso mara new on youtube when your home life is less than desirable it's not where you want to be living but you're trying to break out how do you not let the chaos around you affect your vision and drive so this is a framing question so what you want to do and this this Tony Robbins asks this question I think it's absolutely brilliant how is the worst thing that ever happened to me the best thing that ever happened to me so in your circumstance how is being in a chaotic home life the best thing ever now give you one example off the top my head and this is exactly why I play first-person shooters can you learn to stay calm in the chaos because my friend have the chills if you can do that it will serve you so well in every single area of your life in a relationship in business if you want to be an athlete if you want to play games like what ever it is that you do one of the things that you're gonna have to become great at is letting all of the noise drift away into nothing and getting into laser focus on that thing that you're working on now when I give advice like that to people they think well how do I practice the amazing news is the best thing that has ever happened to you is that you have a built-in way to do that your home life is mass chaos so now you get a chance to practice I have the chills you get a chance to practice every day tuning out the chaos and getting laser focused on something that's framing now there are other ways but that one is so powerful that I will end it there focus on that it is practice practice every day thank god you're living in this chaotic environment man congratulations rule number 15 build excitement this is somewhere that I think a lot of people get lost is they don't spend any effort making sure that the thing that they're doing with their life is actually something that generates excitement it builds excitement it gives to them more than it takes now it doesn't mean I'm not exhausted at the end of my days I am really tired but I am having a ball I'm having a ball it's fun I believe in what I'm doing I'm excited by what I'm doing and so that's where you should be spending the vast majority of your times but that's all stuff about striving to do more to be more I'm excited to acquire the skills I'm excited to push myself it isn't a dark and dingy place like I'm legitimately amped up to do it and that's what I want people to understand like I'm the amount of hours that I work the hard core way that I'm driven the overwhelming majority of that energy comes from a place of excitement it comes from a place of being enthusiastic about what I'm doing there is 20% it's the dark side I've leveraged it it is a real thing for me and it helps me in those acute moments when for whatever reason the excitement just isn't enough at that moment then I will think about the people who wish me ill then I will think about the things that are dragging me down then I will focus on the inadequacies in my life and that I demand that I get better at those things 100% but it's an 80/20 split you've got to learn balance that split you've got to put something that you give a about at the center of your life that is so so so important rule number 16 learn to praise and punish yourself Andrew Kirby You Tube do you believe in self punishment and if yes why I believe in this ferociously this is advanced class and I know that most people are gonna have a seizure when they hear me say this but if you don't learn how to effectively not destructively because that's where most people go they get into an endless loop of self punishment which is totally ineffective but if you don't learn to punish yourself you will never get where you want to go now that needs to pale in comparison to the amount of time that you reward yourself they need to earn that reward if you're just lavishing yourself with emotional praise and you haven't done anything then I think that that will cheapen it it will ultimately mean nothing and quite frankly I don't think you can really been boozled yourself I don't think if you try to praise yourself for stupid I think some part of you knows you haven't done anything to deserve that praise but when you set a bar and you meet that or exceed that to then tell yourself hey you did it you said you were gonna do it you did it and that is worthy of praise and getting good at praising yourself is incredibly important and I think that most people have a very hard time doing both most people don't know how to effectively praise themselves they don't know how to get themselves first of all to do things that are praiseworthy and then when they do they don't take the time to emotionally reward themselves meaning you actually to feel it it can't just be intellectual you've got to actually feel that and the same of punishment if you say you're gonna do something even if nobody's watching and you don't do it then you need to emotionally punish yourself none of you will ever know whether I actually get out of bed in ten minutes or less or not but I say I do all the time but every time I miss it even if I miss it by seconds I just gave myself the chills even if I miss it by seconds I will punish myself for that because I said I was gonna do it and I didn't do it so the fact that nobody's watching is utterly irrelevant to me it has everything to do with myself now the reason that this is important the reason that I think that people need to do this is because that's how you shape your behavior so like water over time can create create the Grand Canyon or you can take a polishing rock and shape stones you can shape your personality you can certainly shape your identity and shape your behaviors if you learn how to reward and punish yourself I know a lot of people don't want to hear that that is the truth of the human condition rule number 17 develop your passion now here's how you develop a passion it starts as a minor area of interest you gain areas of interest by encountering a lot of stuff so if you have encountered a lot of things in your life go out there and encounter stuff go sailing go take a dance class go study neuroscience like whatever it is just encounter a whole bunch of very broad diverse things from that you're gonna get sparks of interest like oh I actually found that interesting I want to learn more dive deep through engagement not through pondering through engagement you're going to realize whether something is going to turn into an area fascination so as you go deeper into it you're gonna either become fascinated or you're not if you're not fascinated move on if you are fascinated then that's an area where you gonna ask yourself one very simple question do I want to become the best in the world at that thing if you do if you want to become truly extraordinary in that thing then go down the path of gaining mastery now the reason I think that it's wise to ask that question going in is when you frame it up I'm gonna become the best in the world that this immediately people understand the amount of time energy and weight that it would take to become truly great at that thing and I don't think that passion can happen unless you're becoming truly great at that thing that's part of passion I don't think people are deeply passionate about something that they really suck at and I'll give you an example I love video games I absolutely love playing first-person shooters I learn a lot from them I get a lot out of them I really just intrinsically enjoy the time it has both that sense of eating a cake because it's just fun in the moment and it I pull from it life lessons business lessons I practice getting out of the sympathetic nervous system into the parasympathetic nervous system it's literally gamified so I'm getting better I have points I can you know have my improvement turned into metrics it's all of it I really really enjoy but I won't say that I'm deeply passionate about it I'm just not that good at it so it's one of those things if I really wanted to develop a deep passion for video video games and put it at the center of my life that then I would set down that path of really practicing now this is like this is the most important thing that passion will do for you which is it's gonna pull you through boredom it's gonna pull you through the hard times and that's why it's really got to be something that you just are prepared to become great at because when you're prepared to become great there's just these insane moments of boredom repetition and all of that and if you have this burgeoning passion coming out of that that's what's going to give you the energy to get through it so it's this symbiotic relationship between a developing passion and how hard it is to actually really get great at something so the things you get great at need to be something that is this developing passion so there you have it that's how you do it and then that's why you do it rule number 18 practice gratitude what is the best way to truly experience gratitude when you have a goal-oriented mindset well I'll give you just like raw tactics so first of all I do this as a part of my meditation routine I try to experience gratitude both and like the big things and in the small things they're not always tied to my goal it is purely something to get the neuro chemistry pumping in the right direction to be in a good headspace to really feel and internalize on a visceral emotional level that sense of like real deep fulfillment gratitude appreciation for what you have going on in your life so like I said I'll pick something big and I'll pick something small so it might be something like you know I'm so grateful for 17 years with my wife somebody that really understands me that knows my pettiness knows my like the dark ugly corners of my mind like they know all of that and they still love me and they they're with me on this journey and you know she picks me up and brushes me off when I'm down I mean it's just like buta I'm literally slipping into the mindset right now like I am so grateful for that woman and by the way that's how easily it happens like you start and this is exactly what I'm going through in my head these are the exact words that I'm thinking in my mind I don't say them out loud but I'm thinking them in my mind which then creates this neurochemical cascade and you find yourself actually experiencing the emotions of that gratitude then I will pick something small let's say take my dog bonsai man when he gets a haircut there's some his fur feels like velvet there it is I loved about that dog just don't know when his hair is freshly cut super small super stupid but I'm actually grateful for it and it's amazing so I might think of something small like that I might think of like whoa on a warm day like that cool breeze is just amazing or air conditioning air conditioning is amazing let's all take a second to just be appreciative of air conditioning that again literally as I'm talking about this I'm actually feeling the gratitude for these eight so it works just like that rule number 19 meditate I have found in the absolute worst times of my life meditation can get me back to zero every single time meaning I have absolutely no physiological remnants of stress or anxiety it is so amazing and so powerful that I only wish that I'd started doing it years earlier and it was mark Devine the Navy SEAL that I was talking about before that helped me realize because I thought of it as very weak and effeminate which growing up feeling like a weak effeminate kid getting tough and getting stronger has been a huge part of my journey so I didn't want to do anything that I felt was moving me backwards now he was one that slapped me around and was like look it just makes sense it's getting you out of that sympathetic and into the parasympathetic and so I thought well if it's good enough for a Navy SEAL then it's good enough for me I tried it and it was life-changing and there have been times in my life since I started meditating honestly don't know how I would have made it through if I didn't have meditation because that ability to get back to equilibrium to zero with what I call no background radiation it's so powerful so meditation has become a huge way for me to manage anxiety which is really really powerful so there it is and I will do one quick cycle so you can see how deadly simple it is I normally sit cross-legged so take that for what it's worth but I'll do it just normally seat it now I do it with my eyes closed and I breathe in through my nose out through my mouth and it looks like this hey hey there it is all right nice and easy I did the second part of the cycle so you could see how long that I usually end up holding that exhale hold again I just do it until it's not pleasurable anymore I don't feel like I'm holding my breath it literally just feels like an exhale and it's so weird even in that short cycle I almost forgot I was doing an AMA that's how powerful meditation has become for me I I get lost so rapidly if I'd had this is the last thing I do when I meditate I put headphones on over the year headphones and I listen to the call map I do not do guided meditation some people love it I absolutely hate it and I listen to the sounds of nature and I find that insanely powerful and if I had had my headphones on I do fear that I actually would have forgotten I was doing this but that's how quickly you can with practice and I've been doing it now for about three years with practice you can get into a super chill state rule number 20 allow yourself to dream I never give up on what you really want to do the person with big dreams is more powerful than the person with all the facts H Jackson Browne truer words have never been spoken it is one of the most interesting things about the human condition that all of the facts in the world no matter how true something may objectively really be the only thing that matters is whether or not you've got the energy to see through to the end of what you want to do and the energy comes not from truth the energy comes from your dream the energy comes from what it is that you want to do the energy ultimately is born out of what you want to create it's born out of a willingness to allow yourself to dream it's born out of a willingness to think that you actually can do it it's born out of a willingness to take that first step but the only reason that you're gonna take that first step is you believe that you can actually make your dreams come true and that sense of this thing you have in your mind that you can make it real that you can bring it into the real world and have that excitement you've long fantasized about and understand and really feel in your gut that that thing that you've dreamed about can be real and when you have that that's when you're going to have the energy that you need to push and to fight and to go through all of the difficult things that you're gonna have to to get on the other side and make that dream real as Ferdinand Fox said the most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire but the human soul can't be on fire without a dream a human soul is not fed by facts a human soul is fed instead by a belief that it can accomplish what it wants to accomplish it's fed by that thing that idea that you found your mind that you fan those flames of interest and turned it into a real fascination and fan those flames further into excitement and allowed yourself to truly embody that belief then you can make it happen so whatever it is whatever crazy dream you have and we all have one stop judging yourself board stop telling yourself that you can't do it and understand when you cultivate that fire when you take that little ember and you fan it into a raging in front of the that thing that human stole on fire is what's going to allow you to build some that the world has never seen before but it starts for that dream it starts with your willingness to cultivate that to think about it to allow yourself to do that because so many people stop themselves they think they're inadequate they think that they can never do it it's not something that's gonna help you live a life that excites you it's not something that's gonna help you excite other people for one thing that will do that is the dream so right now allow yourself that simply to dream rule number 21 go get extraordinary so when I hear people where their reaction is to be about a problem like let you and I were talking you being Hispanic is working against you Jason you being an african-american it's working against you like you're gonna have to go uphill but now what you're gonna sit and complain about it because it won't help you right so if you have a goal it's like it does suck that women have to work harder to get to the same place that as a white male in America that I have to get to but if it is true if we're all going to accept that it's true we can all sit there and go we need to focus on the system's fair enough and I'm glad that some people do that the other option though is to say well I completely control me and the one thing I will tell any human being alive right now there is always room for the best and once you're able through your skills that have utility to move somebody else closer to their goal you will become a hot commodity no matter what no matter what okay think about the scientists what were the scientists after World War two right before they were scientists for us they were Nazis but we were way happy to let go of that because they had crazy skills that we needed right so really what it comes down to is what are your skills like if you've got skills that can be used to build something beautiful to do something wonderful to the world to help people move towards their goals that will excite the masses because they they want that thing that you're gonna create that it's going to improve people's lives but only thing that mattered in all of that was you got really good at something and somewhere along the way we lost that the punchline is no matter what you do to the system you you as an individual need to get extraordinary at something and so my encouragement to people is go get extraordinary like don't worry about whether the system is broken or not we built quest a billion-dollar company in less than five years coming out of the Great Recession so more what was it in the Great Depression more millionaires were created in the Great Depression than any other time in history it's like it just comes down to somebody goes honestly this is how I react the system is too big and complicated I'm too afraid to try to get caught up and fixing that I'm too big of a chicken there I just said it I'm too big of a chicken to deal with that but I can deal with myself I can go get extraordinary right so focus on that go get extraordinary go become the best of whatever it is you want to be but go become the best of it and see how the world opens to you rule number 22 become a goal-oriented person I very much used to be task oriented I've lovingly said that what my parents imbued me with was a slave mentality keep my head down do as little work as possible and avoid punishment at all costs that's how I thought about things certainly how I thought about school it's how I thought about a job it's how I thought about most of the relationships in my life it was about avoiding conflict it was not about having a strong core beliefs it was really getting by getting through life like trying to you know get through the week so that you can enjoy yourself in the weekend and loved your family and I don't get me wrong they had really amazing intentions and they wanted me to enjoy my life but there were just things that they saw is in a Lea but there were you just couldn't change them and so that put me in just thinking about whatever was right before me so oh I need to get an A okay you know this is what I'll do to get my A and the grades is a perfect example because the real goal should have been learning it should have been knowledge it should have been me going hey the system doesn't actually really give me the things that I want and so pushing back against that and trying to figure out what I need to do to actually educate myself but I didn't do that because the task before me was get an A that's just what you did in my family you got good grades and so cheating was a perfectly reasonable solution to that now when I when College I realized wait a second this is supposedly the thing that I love most I was studying film so if I really loved this then why would I cheat if I'm going to try to get a career out of this again why would I cheat and if I'm taking on massive amounts of college debt to learn about this why would a cheat it doesn't make sense and so in that I switched from that task-oriented mindset to really thinking bigger about my goals there were things in life that I wanted to achieve that I wanted to accomplish and I had to then reverse engineer what I needed to do to get there rule number 23 go get lost hey Tom what's your best advice for someone just graduating from college with no sense of direction and no job go get lost go explore go do things that interest you dive deep don't prematurely optimize so this is something that I think is missing in people's lives today if you don't know what you want to pursue then don't start pursuing something with all your might it is very okay to be dirt poor it is very okay to be broke like in that early period of your life your early 20s man it is so okay to not be making a lot of money as long as you're able to eat and you would be startled by how little money that takes it's okay go out discover play bumble around do whatever it takes to begin to discover the things that really give you energy that will serve you incredibly well because feeling of live that's the name of the game rule number 24 chase fulfillment I become an owner in the company through sweat equity the company is worth the hide I think it was work valued at like 22 million dollars so on paper I'm a multimillionaire my salaries higher than it's ever been in my life and now I'm completely miserable and I'm like I'm living the cliche of money can't buy happiness and I'm like this is a joke like this was so predictable and so easy to see coming how if I actually gotten caught in this trap and I begin to realize that I wasn't pursuing things that gave me more energy I was pursuing something that was taking more energy than it was giving I wasn't pursuing something that I was passionate about and what I didn't yet understand about money is that money is in and of itself it's inert right nobody save for maybe Scrooge McDuck and possibly Warren Buffett like would actually get off on swimming in their own money right so it's not the money right when you talk to Warren Buffett part of what drives them is it's a scorecard right he gets off on the scorecard but if you don't if that's not your thing and it's not mine so I'm building this business I'm learning all these skills I'm coming in I'm working my ass off I'm working seven days a week I'm not taking days off I'm damaging my relationship at home and all for what money now the vast majority of my wealth at the time was tied up in the equity of the company which basically means you have none right so most people don't even understand the difference between paper money and liquid cash paper money is not interesting like they'll write about it in Forbes magazine and kids will come up to me freaking out because they know my net worth is crazy high and I'm like the only thing you should care about is how much money do I have where I can go now manifest something in the real world build a business buy something whatever and that's a totally different game so at that moment I'm thinking this is total misery I want to wake up every day and enjoy my life to have more energy being given to me than taken away and in that moment I realized the game I'm playing isn't money it's not success it's brain chemistry and if the game that I'm playing is brain chemistry which I'll say another way deep and lasting fulfillment the thing that as a human makes us feel good the thing that we're all secret deep down no matter what you tell people you're chasing the thing you're actually chasing is fulfillment you want to feel good about who you are you want to feel good about your contributions you want to feel good about meaning and purpose in your life so those are the things altum Utley the people are chasing they think that money is going to give that to them and that they're wrong and that's how they keep getting caught off guard now the reason that money is this trap that everyone can tell you is a trap and yet it will still capture you is because money is real and it's really powerful and the things that money lets you do in your life is almost unimaginable until you have money and I see now what I'm doing finally now having real liquid assets that are significant you can guys think for one second right now imagine closing your eyes and thinking about that thing you most want the thing you want to build it's something beautiful it's something you want to leave your humanity I would just assume it isn't dumb like a car right it's really something it's something you want to build and give and it's gonna be I don't think in legacy but like I get the sentiment it's gonna be your legacy it's gonna be that thing that outlasts you or helps other people or offers jobs or build something that we all want the only thing stopping you from doing it you're gonna say it's time but it's not time it's money and that's how money gets people because once you know what you want to build with it then it's really powerful but if you're chasing money in and of itself you'll burn out I promise you won't enjoy your life because you're not thinking about that end result rule number 25 go all-in is it possible to fully grow into your potential achieve your huge goals and continue on that journey of the mind whilst used whilst which I respect while still enjoying getting drunk and partying I didn't see that coming or are they completely mutually exclusive so here's what I think about that I am a big believer that if you're going all-out you are grinding it out you leave it on the field so I'm telling you right now Monday through Friday if I am awake I am working or working out period in fact now these days I read while I'm working out which I never did before him we could do a whole episode on how I've made that finally work but that process one requires that you love what you're doing so let me just make that abundantly clear I love what I'm reading about I love what we're trying to build all of it just amazing it gives me more energy than it takes away now once you have that though really wanting to actuate your potential and going after it everyday and knowing I'm going to bed now because I have left it all out on the field and I'm telling you there are times during the day where I'm like let me just look at reddit for like five minute so I just like for five minutes I can't do it it's so embedded in me to want to be the person that I say out loud to actually be internally that that's when I go and I start looking at Instagram replying to comments doing research whatever so doing that playing that hard every day leads me to when I want to stop and go shake my ass even if it's a random Tuesday I'll go do that because I know how hard I've played every day I know how much I'm willing to bleed for my goals so this is not about emotional austerity this is not about grinding yourself into into the dirt first of all it's doing something you love so that as you're grinding and going that hard it's something that you just want to do then on the other side because you're going that hard that you just don't have the guilt that most people have when you take time off and relax and chill so when I'm working I am all the way in and when I'm relaxing I'm all the way in rule number 26 scan the opinions of others our receptive should I be to the opinions of others of me when I firmly believe I'm doing the right thing for myself so I think it is always good to scan the opinions of other people even when they are hostile even even when they are overtly meant as an attack to really look at that and say is there any truth in this here's a great news when people attack you they almost always go for something real it is very rare that somebody tries to attack you for something that isn't real so really look at that thing and figure out okay is there some truth in here is there something that I can address because if they're hitting you with something that's true and that if you fixed that you'd be in a more powerful position than is very wise to listen to the opinions of other people having said that you need to think more about yourself you need to trust your vision more than you worry about what other people think it's gonna sting when people don't like what you're doing or don't believe in you or whatever but at the end of the day if you look at it and there's truth take the truth make an adjustment don't worry about anything else it's just that's going to make you more powerful if there's no truth in it and it stings then just let it go and focus on what it is you're trying to accomplish but at the end of the day this is all being driven by the goal so if something they say can help you get the goal you're gonna take it if something they say hurts but can't help you reach your goal you're going to ignore it it's that simple rule number 27 find your mission I grew up in a morbidly obese family so for me it was I needed to have a mission that was so big and so compelling that it gave me energy that I could show up every day and fight for people that I could think about there's an awesome quote often attributed to Mother Teresa that says nobody will act for the many but people will act for the one so if there's someone you can picture someone you know someone you love like you'll go to battle for them so I knew I'll show up every day and fight for my mom and my sister and I know that they're gonna die too early if we can't figure out how to solve this problem of making food that people want to eat tastes good and so that became the mission of the company was to end metabolic disease and to do it by making food that people can choose based on taste and it happens to be good for them rule number 28 let go of your past mistakes how do you completely start over in life when your past mistakes won't let go of you all right let's be really clear you won't let go of your past mistakes that that is just the gospel truth so you've got to work at letting those go now the only thing that I've found that works is the following to understand that they don't move you towards your goals so for me putting in not quite a bright line but really taking the impact theory belief system which by the way you can download now by going to impact you recom signing up for our newsletter which I kill myself to make those newsletters amazing so go there now and one of your incentives for doing so is the 25 point bullet belief system those are the 25 things you need to do to your mind to make sure that you're optimized for success one of those things is we only believe that which moves us towards our goals now the reason that I put that into my own lives because I found that I would obsess over things that had happened in the past either something that happened to me or something that I did and you get into this really weird cycle that is absolutely obsessed because of that it becomes hardwired because of that it becomes easier to think about because of that you think about it more often it begins to just occupy a lot of cycles and crowds out your ability to get other things done so I didn't know how to break out of that pattern because like you I thought it was something that was happening to meet rather than something that I could control and so I had to flip it and realize okay I'm in my life at the absolute foundational layer of everything that I do and believe I'm going to make sure that it's something that moves me towards my goals so if obsessing over the past moving towards my goals I would do it but it doesn't and so I don't that is the only thing that I found that I have a belief that is so powerful and all-encompassing in my life that I should do what moves me towards my goals that anything even something that I would otherwise be prone to obsessively return to I use basically techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy also known as CBT where I will stop myself it doesn't mean that I'm not having those initial thoughts but it means that I interrupt those initial thoughts because it's not moving me towards my goal I move that aside and then I go focus on the thing that is going to move me towards my goal which may be an empowering thought to reframe that negative thing is something positive to remind myself that I'm good I'm worthy I'm whatever I need to do in order to get moving and get going or just ask myself have you learned from that mistake and if you have then go you've got the lesson move forward nothing else matters cycling through it isn't going to help so that is my advice it is very doable cognitive behavioral therapy interrupt those patterns make them habit loop triggers for something empowering rule number 29 think about yourself what you think about yourself is the ultimate goal it's the ultimate thing it's the ultimate reward or punishment but what you think about yourself is at the end of the day the single most important thing and so beginning to have a relationship with yourself of sitting quietly and this may be one of the reasons that meditating is so important that you can actually sit quietly think about who you are now what you think about yourself who you want to become what price you're willing to pay to get there and then actually going down that path to become that person that at the end of the day is the thing that is going to bring you happiness and fulfillment but you really have to think about who you want to become and to not be trapped by your past but do that put time and energy into thinking about what do I want to think about myself and quite honestly what do I think about myself right now if you steer by that it becomes very easy to ignore other people rule number 30 being control of your life and as Bruce Lee said if you always put limits on everything you do physical or anything else it will spread into your work and into your life there are no limits there are only plateaus and you must not stay there you must go beyond them even in the statement you can see him making a choice about what to believe by saying that there are no limits by taking something that other people perceive as a limit is something that's stopping him and saying that's not it's a plateau it's something that I can push through and you see what he holds himself accountable to it's not okay to stay at a plateau it's okay to have one everybody has them they happen it's a natural part of the course of getting better but it is not okay to stay there and that is a choice that's not something anyone can hand you it's something you have to believe to the core of your soul that it is not okay to stay in a plateau and it's the back that's gonna push you through it's that that's gonna make you get up and keep going but first you have to recognize that life is cause-and-effect you have to recognize that that choice is a knock-on effect you have to recognize that him merely saying those words out loud have a cause and effect they changed the course of his life the expectations that other people have of him expectations that he has of himself and because he understands that he can control the outside world by first controlling what's inside by changing his belief system to match what he wants to accomplish he's then able to accomplish what he did in his life have nothing to do with look it had everything to do with the demands that he made on himself it had to do with winning he got in a motorcycle accident people told him he would never walk again not only did he walk again all of the major accomplishments that we think about him being that man they all came after they came after he was told he was never gonna walk it came after he was told that he was never going to be able to do martial arts but he did it he did the grueling work of getting better he understood cause and effect he understood that if you chose to believe that he could never do it that he'd never be able to do it but that if he chose to believe that by working out he could get stronger and get better and get back to and that's what he did so now ask yourself is your life dictated by luck or cause and effect are you in control or is it somebody else is someone else in control or is it you and if it's you go build the life that you want because there's nothing stopping you but you rule number 31 be fulfilled by what you're doing there isn't a better way to live your life there's no right way and wrong way there is only the way that gives you more energy there is only the way that gives you fulfillment when you have those things when you're fulfilled by what you're doing and it's giving you the harder you pursue it it's giving you more energy you're on the right path as the Greeks would say say though say goal of the Roma I can't believe I mess that up say goal of the Roma which means you're on a good road and that's what I want people to understand like yes i pj r i preach a very specific path but i don't think that it is a universal path and so the only universal path is to do the things that give you fulfillment and energy so if spending time with your friends gives you that then you should be spending more time with your friends if dating gives you that then you should be dating so you don't need to want to be the best in the world of something you don't need to want to make a lot of money you don't need to want to be an entrepreneur like all they're literally just stand-ins their proxies for fulfilment and energy creation that's it so those are the punch lines of what's the meaning of life and all of that stuff it is to do something that makes you feel a deep sense of well-being which I'll call fulfillment and something that gives you energy where you're literally excited to attack the day rule number 32 optimize life for yourself there's no obligation to work hard smart and long hours do whatever you want that at the end of the day this is all about neuro chemistry it's about feeling good about who you are it's about loving your life it's about fulfillment it's it's really just enjoying this one chance that you get at this life and so if when I say work hard long and smart that doesn't feel right to you and you don't want to do that by all means don't do that my whole thing is if you want to be the best if you want to play in a world stage if you want to outperform if you want to get extraordinary results the reality is if you already know how to work hard and smart then the last variable is long hours now if you find that you're working so many hours that you click into the point where it's now working backwards then then you found the breaking point so you'll notice I prioritize sleep so I make sure I get all the sleep that I need because I know to perform optimally I have to do that so if you've got some breaking point where it's not fun and you want to go take a break and you're you can tell that you're learning is slowing down cool then you know that's the time to take a break I'm never bashful about taking time off when I need it because I know how hard I play leave it all out on the field every day and because of that when I need a break up take a break do you like whatever feels right whatever feels amazing that's what you should be doing so my work hard work smart work long hours is all about that thing that I value not everybody has to value that rule number 33 prioritize sleep why do you prioritize sleep so highly just curious of what makes you so committed to that and the science behind it thank you for all you do I find that I'm slower when I'm fatigued so I find myself drifting I have more symptoms of what we'll call eighty a DD so that my attention is just drift drift drifts and then I find I'll read a sentence or whatever and be like kind of to reread the sentence like ten times so that was just going whoa I'm not as efficient as I could be and then the other is I find it a unique form of misery there is an additional ring of Hell that is saved just for people who are fatigued I hate it so much so it's misery and I don't understand people that live a life that is miserable I just don't get it and then on top of that I think you actually accomplish less if you're fatigued so you're putting more hours we're actually getting less done per hour so if being fatigued puts you at like 0.6 of what your output could be and then being just like incredibly well rested prioritizing that puts you at you know it's I guess mathematically I should be saying just one then like you have to make up 40% of the number of hours and waking up early just to break even and then you put misery on top of that so that that's my end of one experience is that I am so deadly efficient when I'm rested that I just get more done so comparing those suicide by side I get I actually accomplish more rule number 34 develop grit hey Tom I'm 20 years old and I've done some real soul-searching over the past few years I am certain that I don't want the conventional life and I want to do my own thing but whenever I start something I quit because I find I'm not really passionate about it enjoying it but I fear I may not just want it bad enough how do I differentiate between being honest with myself and just pure laziness Jodie this is an amazing question first of all it is addressed brilliantly by Duckworth Angela Duckworth in the book grit but you guys are gonna want to read that absolutely phenomenal book and it breaks down how it's a very natural process to begin something to be very excited and then as you go down that process to realize yeah I actually don't like this it's not giving me as much energy as I thought of what is taking energy away and therefore I want to give up and quit that thing and she said if you do that once or twice like hey so be it but if you're doing it every time if you just love that initial rush that excitement of something new but the actual nitty-gritty reality of getting good at it of doing what Mitch you Kaku calls having but power meaning you've set your butt in the seat and you do the work if that's really your problem and nothing is interesting enough for you to sit there and do the work you haven't developed grit yet and so grit is the ability to persevere to see things through to go past the point at which it has stopped being fun and it becomes boring because you believe in your end goal enough you're excited by what you're trying to accomplish so much that you're willing to fight through all of that difficulty you're willing to fight through the boredom you're willing to fight through the unease that arises when you step outside your comfort zone you're doing things you're not good at and things that are boring those are the two things that I find kill most people they just cannot handle the things that make them go oh god like I'm not very good at this and I'm feeling really badly about myself and they forget that they can get good on a long enough timeline and then too inevitably in any pursuit of greatness in any endeavor where you're trying to gain mastery you're gonna get bored because practice is repetition it's doing something over and over and over and over to really train yourself to get to the point where your truly exceptional and there's just so much bored of inherent in that process so building in the resilience to see all that stuff through is the key part of grit rule number 35 be goal-oriented as Shakespeare noted there is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so there's nothing good or bad right there's just stimulus and then there's response things right but people think that it is objectively a certain way so now because they think it is an object objectively a certain way they feel they are supposed to react based on those emotions that are getting kicked up in their mind what I'm saying is absolutely not those emotions may not serve you they're certainly not aimed at moving you towards your goal they're jobs that keep you alive plain and simple so that's not necessarily very helpful in a modern context so if you want to always be moving towards your goal you want to be optimizing you've got to learn to get control of your emotions you've got to learn to understand to tell yourself a narrative that isn't predicated on necessarily identifying what is objectively true because I don't think that we experience the world that way it's identifying what's going to work to get me to my goal mm-hmm and that to me like my whole thing is goal first everything else works backwards from that mm-hmm like starting from like the grant strategy like identifying it and then building the steps backwards to reverse engineering essentially correct rule number 36 deliver results do you have advice on creating a better future without a college education yes so here's the answer crystal you're going to as of right now this moment you're gonna focus entirely on one thing getting so good you cannot be ignored now what do I mean by that getting so good that you deliver results deliver results for yourself to deliver results for other people I would just tell you every business owner on the planet is looking for people that can help them grow their business that's it they care about one thing and one thing only can you deliver results so the good news here is you can always count on humans to be selfish and I don't mean that in a bad way I mean they're passionate about the things that they're passionate about they're trying to accomplish the things they're trying to accomplish and if you can show how you can help with that people are gonna want you no matter what I don't give a if you have a college education like that is so irrelevant to me a college education merely tells me that you've been formally trained it doesn't tell me if you're actually good now on a resume can be very powerful because I'll look at that in a shorthand I'll say oh like they probably are ahead of somebody that doesn't have those things but if you're out in the real world getting results I'm all for that and let me tell you how fast you can convey that with something like if I'm like right now hey everybody by the way PS if you're a director of marketing we want to hear from you especially if you understand content marketing so I think most people in this community know that Jarrod has moved up to San Jose I don't do remote employees he's chasing his own thing that guy was amazing and I'm super heartbroken that he left but now we're looking for somebody to replace him with and what I look for is I look for people that have done I don't I actually don't even look at their college education I don't even scan that far down in the resume I just want to know what are you doing what have you accomplished and like can you put together a comp like what is the word I'm looking a stroke uh-huh comprehensive is in the word when I'm gonna stick with it cohesive there we go can you put together a cohesive coherent resume which you'd be shocked how few people actually can so put that together maybe a super brief cover letter maybe you hit them person up on social whatever anyway it is really easy if you're actually good it's really easy to convince other people that you're actually good so focus all your time and energy on actually getting good rule number 37 believe in your potential how do I get over my block of I am never good enough especially when my significant other has high expectations but does not support me in reaching those expectations okay so we have two issues so first of all getting over your block of I'm not good enough for me the thing that absolutely destroyed all of that is my unflagging belief in one simple thing I can learn anything so I may not be good at that thing now I may really not be good enough like when I think about building a studio to rival Disney I'm not good enough yet there's a huge chasm and skill set between me and Bob Iger and being able to do that I fully understand that and I have to do something different which has found this create all the energy whereas Bob Iger came in wait I mean they've been in business for like 75 years or something by the time he came along so it is a really intriguing skill set to be able to both build and create something scale it and then run it once it's big so I know full well that I am not yet the person that I need to be in order to do that and so my time and energy is spent in building that skill set so I don't freak out over the fact that I'm not good enough that's very easy for me to admit I instead spend my time thinking about how do i acquire those skills in order to actually become good enough so don't let your self-worth be tied up in that notion of good enough humans are the ultimate adaptation machine from that I derive my sort of high level sense of worth it hey every human being has worth because they're an ultimate adaptation machine and they can become anything they want that's just really cool and amazing and then also I just am deeply compassionate for the human condition so yeah regardless of where people fall on that path of actually executing against that potential I get it man being a human is both beautiful amazing all this potential and it's really hard so have compassion for yourself which i think is incredibly important and know that this is hard and then believe that you can become anything that you set your mind to and then just be honest with yourself you don't have to want to be the greatest in the world so whether you let somebody else apply those high standards to you or not is completely your choice just remember it's a choice and you're not not great because you can't be you're not great because you haven't applied yourself to that so that is the key for me like understanding that my life is an exact reflection of my choices is entirely liberating so remember your life is an exact reflection of your choices if you want a different result you simply need to make a different choice rule number 38 adopt a growth mindset a fixed mindset somebody that has a fixed mindset believes that their talent and intelligence or fixed traits that whatever you're born with that's it those are gonna be that's as good as you're ever gonna be and so hey make the most of it somebody that has a growth mindset realizes that that's just you're starting off point and while we may not all be equal from where our starting off point is the human animal is literally designed from the ground up to be able to adapt and so it begins to be a question of how much are you willing to adapt what price are you willing to pay to get great at something rule number 39 move towards your dreams what if you're happy with your job but you don't like the place it's in and the honest answer for me is I would leave like I'm so held but like I know what I want to do with my life it is so clear to me that I just wouldn't let anything stop me and that's why I left Tacoma I'd love to come up I was not unhappy in Tacoma at all like people always think I'd left for the weather or whatever I didn't I'd even think about the weather as a kid it was oh I knew I left because I wanted to be in a bigger city that had more opportunity and that was it and so I was moving towards something and I think that there are two things that motivate people moving away from something so oh I don't want that to happen I don't want like take longevity I don't want to die that's moving away from something I want to live forever that's moving towards something so living forever for me is about all the things that I could do and all that so I'm moving towards that I'm not moving away from a fear of death so that here like the only perspective I can give you is that if I ever had a sense of like I can't go as far as I want to go in this place I would be gone in a heartbeat rule number 40 choose your reality as friends kafka said you are free that is why you are lost look around you there are no guardrails on your life the reality is that people have tried to paint a picture for you that says that there are certain things that are right they've tried to paint a world for you that has a path well laid for it for you to follow go to school get good grades get a degree get a job retire that's the plan that everybody wants you to believe is really the plan but the reality is that you are free to choose anything you want the reality is that you can go in any path that you want the is that path is an illusion the truth of life is you can go anywhere you want you can be anything that you want you can become anyone you want to become at the end of the day the choice is yours at the end of the day you get to construct yourself you get to decide what it is that you want to believe as long as you're not violating the laws of physics even physics is a game of maybe even physics is uncertain and unknown at the end of the day everything that you get to do you get to choose you get to create you get to build something that you want to be and in that that's where people get lost they don't understand that the control is theirs they're lost because they think there's a path they think there's a way forward and emotionally it doesn't resonate emotionally they're unable to make it feel real because it doesn't feel real they feel lost they're unsure they don't know where to go or who to become or even who they are and that sense of being lost comes from the freedom of being able to choose anything you want but no one told you that you could choose but as tupac shakur said reality is wrong dreams are for real it's the dream that you want to focus on the dream is your ability to construct that path the dream is you saying this is the way that I want to walk the dream is you saying all of this nothingness all of this mass confusion all of this probability and uncertainty I am going to manifest something real and concrete and directional in my life I choose to be Who I am I choose to be who I become I choose to build something with my hands to create something that has never been seen before to do something that people have never done before to believe in things that other people cannot see that dream is my reality that dream is what I'm going to bring into existence that dream is the thing that I believe in and in believing in that dream and building that path and finding out in deciding who you want to be for the first time you will find yourself in yourself or coming so go become what you want to be don't worry about walking somebody else's path rule number 41 get out and have fun where should one look to find something to get passionate about is this an introspective journey or something more extrinsic okay so it is actually oddly enough step one is not introspective step one is get out play get lost have fun try a lot of things challenge every assumption that you have get out of your age bracket hang out with people way outside of how you grew up a totally different circle you will be utterly shocked utterly shocked by what ends up being of interest to you again you're not gonna stumble on some grand passion but you're gonna stumble on something that's interesting to you Wow never never even knew this existed and yet I find myself interested and I want to go down that path but the only way to do that is to get outside this freakishly small bubble that you have this is why a lot of people and I say that because all of us live in a freaking small bubble and this is a reason that people often tell travel as a way to really shake up their assumptions about the world thinks they didn't realize we're assumptions to go and see the way other people live and realize whoa like they seem like they're having an amazing time and yet they do things so dramatically different than the way that I was raised for instance so getting out and even if you can't leave your house the internet the internet man the internet will introduce you to the most eclectic eclectic people on the planet so if you can't afford to travel get a device with an internet connection and just start searching random follow random stuff and see where it leads guys enrich your lives go down these weird rabbit holes when a friend invites you to do something super weird say yes go try it that's how you're gonna find this stuff but it isn't it isn't turning inward and I'm a huge believer and I spend way more than 80 percent of my time inward reflecting inward but that isn't the first step the first step is encountering then you can reflect rule number 42 find deep fulfillment so here is the reality about money so the reason that people chase it even though I know you've heard a thousand times and it is absolutely true money can't buy happiness that if you're chasing money the odds of you ending up with some level of dissatisfaction is incredibly high but the reason that people ignore that and the reason that they keep chasing it the reason that I myself live the cliche of money can't buy happiness is because money actually does have power now the thing that money lets you do the thing that gives it that power the reason that people will chase for ever and ever and ever is it is the great facilitator now being the great facilitator does not mean that it gives you the thing that you secretly want in your life so here's the punchline about happiness the goal of all of this the goal of this game of life that we're all playing it is not money it is not success it is entirely brain chemistry it's entirely how you feel about yourself when you're by yourself it's about being deeply fulfilled it's about being proud of who you are now those are all for me synonyms it's the same thing which I'm just going to shorthand to fulfillment the thing that you're chasing is fulfillment it's the only thing that doesn't sway with the wind so happiness in its typical definition is very transient so I want to shift people over to thinking about fulfillment fulfillment is often born of suffering it's born of not doing something you want to do it's born of doing the hard things being proud of yourself comes from that being proud of yourself comes from working your ass off to acquire a set of skills that by the way in and of themselves in acquiring it you found that pleasurable it's something that you're interested in you've hopefully crafted developed built a deep passion around and in acquiring those skills in service of that thing that you love and enjoy you're able to serve other people that's it that's the truth of happiness that's the truth of the thing that is going to give you that sense of fulfillment that's going to allow you to enjoy your life money is never ever ever in and of itself going to do that money buys cool money is able to give you those temporary dopamine rushes of going and shopping for something and getting it and then it's cool but then that coolness factor wears off very rapidly the flipside of that using that money to build something that you believe in that not only empowers you but helps empower other people that will help you develop long lasting fulfillment so that's the real thing but if you're doing something that isn't making you a lot of money but you're passionate about it you enjoy the day-to-day and it's allowing you to build skills that serve you and other people I promise you if you had to choose between the two which by the way you don't but if you had to choose between the two always in forever every single time choose fulfillment rule number 43 start taking action what do you recommend for a person who isn't fulfilled in their position to make sure they don't get caught in a loop of negativity while searching for something else so to me this all comes down to what you're rewarding yourself for what you value in your life so I value action so if I knew that I'd got myself into a bad situation I have something in my if I knew that I'd gotten myself into a bad situation and rather than sit there and beat myself up over it I would say okay you're in a bad situation you got yourself here nobody can blame but you and now instead of beating myself up over the fact that I got myself into that situation I am simply going to say only action matters and so now I'm just gonna start taking action to make sure that I'm fixing that whoa and I find because I so value action and by the way I value it because I know where it leads it leads to my desired outcome it leads to learning worst case so taking that action driving myself forward pushing myself that is what I'm going to reward myself emotionally for so immediately I get this sense of relief from anxiety from stress from worry because first I'm I'm acknowledging how important that is in my life because it yields rewards and then second you're really gonna get engrossed in it and you're going to just be lost in the details of actually trying to solve that problem by leveraging action to get the desired outcome so those two things I think will serve you very very well as you go down that process so just make sure that you really have that emotional buy-in to the importance of action rule number 44 care about the end result sticking with your good habits is extremely hard because they're boring so whenever something is boring it's because somebody's pursuing something that they actually don't give a about and that's the problem so for instance eating healthy food all the time is isn't thrilling in the way that say eating a bag of Oreos is or black licorice which is a personal favorite of mine or fried food which is truly my weakness that stuff is fun man you want to talk about a dopamine cascade I could take a random Tuesday and make it feel like a Saturday night just by deciding that I'm gonna cheat on my diet now I don't do that I cheat maybe twice a year so it is when I say it is crazy rare and yet my life is full of things that thrill me and I use that word on purpose now what it comes back to is going back to the whole topic of today habits and how you stick with them even when you're bored even when it's not interesting anymore it's long after it's not being fun the very secret to habits is caring about the thing that that habit is meant to lead to but for real like really what do you care about and for instance here is a life I pass no judgment on man because if this is what you want and it like you love it and you're filled with fulfillment it's amazing great if you want to sit at home all day and you want to cut your life to the absolute quick financially so that you're living in a tiny hovel with five other people fine and you're eating Tina's burrito so I don't even know if they still exist but when I was way hardcore poor they were awesome because it was three for 99 cents which was amazing so I could live off of that and you're cool you boil it down to nothing you don't have a car no insurance nothing and you accept that my life is gonna be shorter than it would otherwise be and what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna smoke weed a lot and I'm going to eat bad food a lot man respect like if you do it with your eyes wide open and you're loving it you're having a great time it just the only reason that you never hear me talk about that stuff is from my experience from what I've seen of other people the only thing that gives the human animal the the best feeling which is to feel good about yourself when you're by yourself is to do the hard things and to do things that bring fulfillment and the things that bring fulfillment are often born of momentary suffering but they allow you to get stronger in order to serve other people that's it that's just what I've seen so I don't think it's better than the alternative that I just described it's just the only thing that I've seen really lead to that sense of like deep fulfillment so my thing about the the specific part about the good habits are hard to stick with because they're boring just you've got to attach habits the things you actually really and truly care about no one can tell you what to care about you can certainly build that into your life you can take something that's an interest and build it into something you care deeply about which I've talked endlessly about so I won't go into it here but that is very very possible associate your habits to that thing suddenly the habits would be very easy don't judge yourself with your life the way you want but respect the realities of neuro chemistry rule number 45 put in the time I wanted to spell a myth for you it's the talent myth it's the belief that some people were just born with more than others that some people are naturally gifted in some art and that's just the way the cookie crumbles and whatever you're gonna be is essentially determined by how you started that your DNA is exactly your destiny I'm here to tell you right now that's it's just not true it's not the truth of the way that humans are designed as a species were the ultimate adaptation machine but the very thing that puts us at the top of the pyramid is our ability to adapt it is the fact that the brain is plastic that it responds to change it responds to stressors it responds to repetition and repetition is a slave to obsession as Conor McGregor said there's no talent here this is hard work this is an obsession you could be anyone if you put in the time that's one of the greatest athletes of our time telling you that he's not the result of genetics he's not the result of natural gifts he hasn't been bestowed something by God he has shown up day after day in the most mundane of conditions on the cold days on the hot days he put in the work because he was obsessed with what he could become and how repetition that you need to actually gain a skill follows that obsession so in you right now right now today you want to start building that obsession you want to look at it like an ember that become a raging fire but it needs your time and attention it needs your time and attention you've got to take that interest you've got to take that spark of desire and you've got to fan the flames you've got to turn it into that obsession and from that obsession if you put in the work if you do the things day in and day out the back-breaking work pushing through the pain fighting through feeling like an idiot fighting through embarrassment getting up brushing yourself off doing it again practicing putting yourself at somebody's feet and asking what could I have done better not look at the things you're doing well but look at the things we're doing wrong look at the things you're doing all of these staring at your inadequacies with no loss of pride because the only thing you value in yourself is your willingness to do that your willing is to work your ass off and a Sylvester Stallone said I'm not the richest smartest or most talented but I succeed because I keep going and going and going and that's the secret route number 46 go step by step I think my goal may be too big anybody else gonna chime in on that one I write it every day but it makes me feel heavy daunted and terrified to pursue it rather than excited okay that's powerful have I chosen my goal poorly or or do I need to man up okay the dude Bryan I love you so much for this question in in this question is like everything that people go through so first of all your goal is not too big okay you're just not yet the person you need to be to execute against that and that is absolutely fine I'm not yet the person I need to be in order to rival Disney I know that and so every day I'm waking up not saying am i there yet am i there yet am i there yet I'm thinking what's one really simple thing that I could do right now today to learn something that moves me down that path or who can i partner with you know what's the idea that I need to get other people excited about what I'm doing so that's super important so your dream is never too big even if you said you want to terraform Mars I'm with you right that's our boy Elon Musk is literally thinking about that so your dream isn't too big you just don't think about like the end goal and let it overwhelm you which is what is happening to you you're riding it every day okay so you're obsessing about that end goal that end outcome which first of all if that end outcome is about a thing like the thing that I think about every day is not building a studio to rival Disney even though that's often what I externalize to people what I think about internally the thing that warms my soul is I think about the people out there that are extraordinary they could do something amazing with their lives but they won't because they don't believe in themselves so what I think about the thing that drives me that obsesses me and fills me with excitement and joy to get good enough to actually do it is helping people develop an empowering mindset that's my obsession the whole rival Disney thing is a path and I think it's the right path and I'm excited to do it and I love it but at the end of the day the thing that keeps me going when I'm feeling overwhelmed is helping other people so figure out what that thing is that huge goal that you have why you want it because chances are that you're gonna be able to do it in smaller ways along the way as well so it's not like this you know 20-year chasm of binary nothingness where you're not at all doing what you want to do and then suddenly one day it either happens or it doesn't like you know winning the lottery that it's you know these incremental steps okay so you write it down every day start writing down the the beautiful thing that you want to bring into the world and also even that like you should be spending time what are you grateful for right now thinking about what you want to learn thinking about things that excite you it makes you feel heavy daunted and terrified to pursue it okay so if it makes you feel heavy daunted and terrified to pursue it because you're obsessing over the end goal it's some like traditional marker of success money a big company whatever and not how you want to help people then it's just a matter of reframing if on the other hand is because you think you're supposed to want that thing but you don't actually want it and so the idea of pursuing it and all you would have to do to get there is just horrifying to you then yes you've picked the wrong goal only you can answer that question I have no idea which of the two is true just remember don't chase something because people have told you that you should want it literally just look at what gives you more energy than it takes rule number 47 keep your beliefs nimble when does confidence become harmful how do you detect overconfidence that might stop you from striving to get better every day okay so I I don't think that confidence is ever dangerous what I think is dangerous is a way of approaching the world if you value yourself for being a master if your confidence comes from I know this stuff then you're gonna be in trouble because I think that the reality is that being a master feeling like you're an expert that stuff is a trap and you need to keep your beliefs nimble so the more you learn the more you need to be checking yourself to make sure that that stuff isn't calcifying into Dogma meaning that it becomes like I do it this way and that's the way I do it that's the way I've always done it that's what my success is based on so I'm going to keep doing it that becomes incredibly dangerous especially now in a world that changes it evolves so quickly what worked yesterday may not keep working tomorrow so you've got to constantly be willing to check your assumptions and I think the easiest way to check your assumptions is to write them down writing them down is going to force you to have clarity on what your assumptions are so that's really really important and I'm going through this right now in building the studio I have a belief system about the way that things work I have a belief system about the way that marketing works and I'm constantly trying to check that and so I found that there were some beliefs that were so embedded in me I didn't even realize anymore that they were beliefs and so there's that whole concept of David Foster Wallace the guy that wrote the speech this is water look it up on YouTube right now in fact I don't even mind if you bail out of this right now to go watch it it's that important to get this concept burned into your psyche the fish is the last one to become aware of the water it is so ubiquitous that they don't even realize it's a thing that's what happens with your beliefs you begin to believe them and internalize them so much that you forget at one point that that was something that you learned or discovered or chose to believe and so at some point that now may be holding you back so I find writing them down so that I'm aware of what my assumptions are I'm aware of what my beliefs are then I can go in and say and this is straight from Tim Ferriss if you haven't watched the episode of impact Theory would sim cards check it out he talks about what if he did the opposite what if he did the opposite for 24 or 48 hours it's very easy to overcome that and back out of it if it doesn't work but for 24 or 48 hours just try it what if you had the opposite belief what if you approach things in the opposite manner would you get a better result and doing that and checking your beliefs and assumptions against that can be incredibly powerful it would certainly open up new vistas new possible avenues I highly highly recommend that rule number 48 prioritize properly how you determine what your top tasks are for any given day this is a great question already I have many different to-do items and it's hard to know what to prioritize okay so you've got to know what's my goal where am I trying to get to you're gonna back into the daily tasks okay so now if we know what we're looking at our day that are meant to feed into some longer-term goal what we're looking for our lead Domino's so what are the things like if I do this then it will have a knock-on effect so I'll give you an example one Lee domino for me is always to delegate so I'm always starting my day by thinking what can I delegate because once I delegate something then it starts moving on so on my list of important things one of the sections is to delegate so doing that that is it's a time multiplier it's a force multiplier so if I get that going then now will sudden that project is running and it's essentially like I've just added man-hours to my day so I'm gonna start with those things I'm gonna make sure that everybody's moving and doing the things that they want the next thing is what is a roadblock and impediment to something that's important in my world generating revenue or building the community those are the two things that like I really think about so if I do this thing will it generate revenue or will it make the community bigger so those are the two things that we have to do now ultimately the reason I give is I care deeply about revenue is revenue is the juice man it is the engine that is going to allow whatever you're doing to go on so making sure that you're thinking about things that are actually going to generate revenue for you and then for us the community is those are the people that we want to serve they also give us a lot of power so thinking about them but ultimately we won't be able to serve them for very long if we're not able to get the revenue coming in that we want and even if we have revenue coming in and we're profitable every bit more revenue that we get because we're filtering it back into the company then we're just able to serve more and more people so I'm always looking at those two things rule number 49 break yourself in half I am literally willing to do whatever it takes within my code of ethics to achieve my goals so that's what I mean by break myself in half I'm willing to work literally Monday through Friday if I'm awake I'm either working or working out so to the point where I brush with my brush my teeth with my headphones on so that I can get the last little eeks of the day out from the moment I wake up I go immediately to the gym I work out and then I immediately do my morning routine which I've gone through so many times I won't waste my time with it now but I go right into that immediately and that carries me all the way through so like today I woke up at what 4:15 so I wake up around that time every day somewhere between let's say 3:00 and 5:00 that's my typical wake up window and I'm going to work or work out from that moment until I go to bed and I go to bed at the same time every night which is 9:00 p.m. so somewhere around about 8:45 is when I begin my nighttime ritual brushing my teeth and all of that but even then I am listening to a book or something along those lines so that is what I mean by break myself in half and then on the weekends by the way on a lazy weekend I probably work five to seven hours a day and then on a hardcore weekend like last weekend where I was working literally until midnight on a Saturday I'll clock say 13 14 hours of work that's on a weekend so that's what I mean by break myself and half now the whole point is that I'm building something that I believe in I'm building something that gives me a deep sense of fulfillment I believe that not only am i empowering myself and making myself stronger and more capable of the things that I want to do and the things that give me joy and give me more energy than they take but that I am doing something that serves a lot of people that goes way beyond me and the not-so-secret thing I love the puzzle of seeing if I can figure out something that other people can't figure out that is a deeply enjoyable pastime of trying to improve myself to learn enough to think of the problem in a new enough way to challenge my own assumptions to do all of that to be able to see a problem in a way that nobody else can to see a solution that nobody else can see I love doing that so all of this energy and effort it is in things that give me more energy than they take so it's just a pleasurable existence and I don't want to hear people I don't want people to hear in what I say that I'm just like grinding it out I tried that I did that for six and a half years and it was a total misery so I'm not saying that I'm saying work that hard in service of something that you believe in that makes you feel alive that you love doing if you do that then breaking yourself and a half that just becomes a metaphor for the amount of energy that you're willing to put into the things that you believe in and rule number 50 the last one before a very special bonus clip change your attitude as Maya Angelou said if you don't like something change it if you can't change it change your attitude that's some of the best advice you're ever going to hear at the end of the day you should always be trying to change the things that you have the ability to change there inevitably going to be things that you can't change but you're never helpless you're never a victim in that moment you still have the unbelievable ability to choose to look at it in a new way to choose to reframe it and in that reframing you change everything you don't just change your own neural chemistry you're not just changing the way that you feel you're actually changing the way that you're going to approach the problem something that was moments before something that seemed impossible something that was breaking your will to continue to fight with a change in attitude becomes something completely different and as hans selye said adopting the right attitude can turn a negative stress into a positive one and that game of mental jujitsu is what it's about that game of flipping something on its head of turning something around of seeing it in a new way so that you can act in a new way is how you make forward progress and understanding that understanding the need to take control of your perceptions understanding that understanding your need to change your perspective that's how you begin to get ahead once you understand your perspective is a choice it is not objective truth burn that into your mind it is not objective truth the world that you see around you is simply the perspective through which you see it all of life is a funhouse mirror and when you acknowledge that when you understand that you're looking at a distorted view of the way the world is you realize that you can adopt a different Distortion you can adopt a divorce that allows you to see things more clearly that allow you to see things in a way that empower you and that should always be the first step is figuring out not what is not what you can change but instead understanding what you need to change it to an understanding that that change comes from inside you it isn't a manifestation that you have to make in the outside world force it's a change you have to make inside yourself it is a shift of perspective it is simply stepping to the side of what you're used to and how you use the seeing things and understanding that in reframing things you take that negative and turn it into something that builds you up but you've got to choose you've got to decide you've got to believe that you can do it but once you believe that you can see things in any way that you need to to reach your goals your life will change forever because you'll actually reach your goals now I've got a really special bonus tom bill you clip on how to prime your mind that I think you're really gonna enjoy but before that the three questions I want to make sure you're moving from a place of consumption to taking action and so here are three questions I want you to think about write them down the answers for yourself talk about it with a friend or leave the answers in the comments below ready here we go question number one what is the most important attitude adjustment that you need to make question number two what is the activity you need to prioritize more in your business and question number three what fulfills you and how can you bring it more into your business thank you guys so much for watching I believe in you I hope we continue to believe in yourself and whatever you're one where it is much love I'll see you soon and enjoy the bonus clip what do you recommend for a person who isn't fulfilled in their position to make sure that they don't get caught in a loop of negativity while searching for something else all right this is all about mental management I don't read like not too long ago oh I really want to remember who this is I'm doing them a disservice because this really impacted me and it was that when they wake up in the morning one of the things that they do and I think we may have already aired the episode of the person that said this so hopefully one of you guys can chime in and remind me who said this but they were saying that they'll set their their emotional intention like the thing that they want to feel by like putting on a song by literally saying okay that that's what they said now I'm saying what I found going along with like picking a song or setting something like that that I literally just remind myself feel good be upbeat I know how dumb that sounds but it literally works like some part of you in inside at a biological level knows the mechanisms knows the neuro chemistry to pump so you don't have to like think about what neurotransmitter is you want to pump you literally just remind yourself feel good feel good and I find it always changes my posture so I'm gonna do something with my body so for those that are listening and not watching I'm gonna sit up taller I'm going to put my shoulders back I'm going to smile a little even if I'm all by myself I put what I call a hint of a smile on my face and in doing that it is so weird how those physical hooks actually start to change your neural chemistry and then if I really need to or want to just for fun to have that energy I will put on a song that really gets me in a fun place if that song which normally works isn't working that day I will skip and find another one but in just reminding yourself to feel that way in making the demand of yourself from a playful fun place that I can literally right now in this moment choose to exist in a state of happiness of going through gratitude all of those things will work to prime your mind to feel that stuff terrific world domination honey Empire right I'm grateful I understand why I'm here I think because I am so open I wanted to think and see it's a bloody brief life all of you have the potential for enormous success if you want to know what Gary Vee DJ Khalid Oprah and others know about empire building that most people miss check out the link in the description for a free bonus video

Channel: Evan Carmichael

Views: 189,410

Rating: 4.827085 out of 5

Keywords: entrepreneur, tom bilyeu, impact theory, quest nutrition, tom bilyeu interview, tom bilyeu speech, best of tom bilyeu, tom bilyeu best ama moments, motivation for success, success advice, tom bilyeu motivation, how to make it as an entrepreneur, best advice for entrepreneurs, inspiring video, motivational video, success motivation - tom bilyeu top 50 rules, tom bilyeu success rules, success secrets

Id: raauzR4DZ2A

Length: 116min 59sec (7019 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 06 2018