The Archbishop is a Pirate!! - 1743

rogues gallery real historical figures conducting themselves in a disgraceful manner gods buccaneer piracy piety and prostitutes with archbishop Lancelot Blackburn London 17:43 it is with the most profound sadness that we report the death of Lancelot Blackburn Archbishop of York in the 84th year of his age a pious and godly man he diligently pursued the work of the Lord while at the same time wetting his whistle with copious amounts of strong drink vigorously tupping harlots and shamelessly cuckolding any friend who had an attractive spouse truly he enjoyed all of God's bounties a pupil of Westminster School and Christchurch College in Oxford it said that upon leaving the latter he stole a fiddle with the intention of pursuing a career as a traveling minstrel realizing perhaps that becoming a servant of the church was a much more lucrative occupation than entertaining penny throwing yokels he embraced the cloth and became ordained in 1680 his first Church appointment was a year later but it wasn't to some bucolic countryside parish but rather to the sugar rich West Indian island of Nevis traveling halfway around the world Blackburn in Georgia heat the disease the seething resentment of the indentured slaves the habitual piracy and the rum-soaked violence he could even enjoy the fact that in a community of Rascals narrative wells and clerics were far from the most popular addition to the island what he could not enjoy was the fact that rather than being rewarded for his service in coin he was expected to accept payment in sugar toothless and destitute by the age of 25 was not he reasoned part of God's plan for him so taking matters into his own hands he signed on to the crew of a privateering vessel bringing holy comfort to a boatload of crown approved legal pirates prowling the seas off Antigua possessing an official letter of marque Blackburn's new companions had been given permission by King Charles to plunder those he considered fair game in this case the perfidious Spanish it's not known how active a role Blackburn played in the boarding of Spanish merchant ships or the raiding of Spanish coastal settlements did he take part in the burning looting and wanton destruction or did he stay on deck shouting across the surf at everybody to love thy neighbor and turn the other cheek that he returned to England with a sizeable fortune in gold and that his sword has since been presented to Christchurch College as a memento suggests but he was not averse to performing some smiting and plundering of his own the reason for a payment made to him at this time by the king of 20 pounds for what were vaguely described as secret services may never be known whether it was for daring feats of espionage or just bringing back a humorous goblet made from a coconut we can be sure that it wasn't just for delivering thought-provoking and well worded sermons it's worth noting that a popular anecdote relates how many years later a Buccaneer returning home from decades at sea asked after the health of his old shipmate Lancelot Blackburn when told that he had achieved one of the highest ecclesiastical positions in the land he said to have expressed much surprise in the most colorful of terms in 1684 back in England Blackburn's thoughts turned to his career advancement and the contents of his purse he strategically married Katherine Tolbert the eldest sister of a prominent churchmen who'd one day go on to become the Bishop of Oxford Blackburn also began actively searching for a diocese where the parish priest was so old or racked with illness that his imminent passing would leave a lucrative vacancy that he could readily fill after weeks of painstaking research he heard about the venerable mr bond home rector of coal stock a man he was reliably informed was about 70 years of age and at the point of death clutching his references and with a spring in his step blackburn lepton the first carriage to cornwall so he could make his fortuitous appearance well before any other conniving cleric while little is known of his time as rector of coal stock his ambition and his brother-in-law's contacts saw him appointed the sub-dean of exeter in 1691 it was an appointment blighted by the most scandalous of insinuations both of which came to the public attention in the same year 1,700 and two the first was that he fathered Thomas hater who would later rise to the position of Bishop of Norwich following an adulterous affair with his mother under the very nose of her blissfully unaware husband there is much speculation about the validity of this rumour however in later life Blackburn did take a particular interest in young Thomas's religious advancement making him at one point his personal chaplain and upon his death left the younger man a substantial legacy one does not need to have the deductive powers of a thief-taker to draw from this certain conclusions the second insinuation was that he arranged for the digging of a secret tunnel between his house and the home of a neighbor the sole purpose of which was to allow him unseen access to the charms of the fellows handsome wife an activity pastoral scholars have long established as being prohibited by the Bible a tunnel running from Blackburn's office to a hidden door in the nearby house were subsequently uncovered by a team of investigative churchmen during questioning however the carpenter who was accused of making it denied the charge and threatened to spit in the face of any man who challenged him the neighbor who considered himself a close friend of Blackburn refused to believe that he was being cuckolded by the past and next door he never gave me any just cause for believing that the great friendship contracted between us and our families was ever grounded on a wicked design said one evening however after being mocked for being a naive half-wit by his friends in the local tavern he insisted on taking a second look at the perfectly innocent secret tunnel much to Blackburn's annoyance the Dean in Chapter of Exeter Cathedral continued to probe into the matter and Blackburn was suspended as time passed however local witnesses changed their recollection of events all became difficult to locate warn't forgetful builder suddenly remembered they'd actually sealed off both ends of the tunnel three years previously how much of this was a result of Blackburn's influence he's open to conjecture but what is known is that the case against him came to nothing and he was reinstated becoming in 1705 the Dean of Exeter Blackburn however always had one eye open for a chance to further improve his station and when George the first came to the throne in 1714 he was chest and most vocal supporter remaining presciently loyal during the Jacobite rebellion of the following year when he discovered that one of his close friends had printed some Pro Jacobite pamphlets he was faced with a difficult decision the man had been a true comrade supporting Blackburn when he'd been accused of adultery and even having some of his sermons printed for posterity did Lancelot return this loyalty or try and further ingratiate himself with the king the answer was obvious he savagely and publicly condemned his former acquaintance revealing him as the author of the pamphlets about which he said a more vicious slander has never been written if found guilty of spreading treason a Jacobite could expect to have his ears and his hands cut off so not surprisingly the man fled no doubt feeling somewhat led down a relentless Blackburn then paid several spies to track him down until he was finally arrested languishing in Newgate Prison the pamphleteer died of jail fever before he could be brought to trial but on the bright side blackburn had fully come to the attention of the king of england George the first took Blackburn with him as his personal chaplain when he visited his lands in Germany many found this an unusual request the King spoke no English and he wasn't even hang glucan Blackburn for his part didn't speak any German the two didn't share a religion or indeed a common language but what the King did have were at least two mistresses whom he entertained in open secret while his wife was confined to the palatial surroundings of a castle in Hanover the rumor was that he wanted to enter into a bigamist marriage with one of them the Duchess of Munster and needed a morally flexible churchmen to perform the secret ceremony blackburn was just that churchmen and packing his german phrasebook joined his majesty on the boat on his return he again took up his lucrative habit of seeking out terminally ill members of the clergy and hovering around their jobs until they died imagine his excitement when he learned that the Archbishop of Exeter was ravaged by gangrene Blackburn arranged to introduce himself to the ailing old man and give him his references personally but was told that the infection had become all but unstoppable and he'd probably be too late the archbishop died three days later undeterred Blackburn took up his pen and wrote a fawning letter of condolence to the Archbishop of Canterbury who impressed by his piety gave him the job although this new position meant that he was spiritually focused on Exeter for obvious reasons Blackburn spent as little time as he could in the region preferring instead to live in London where pleasurable diversions were always within easy reach such was his love of socializing that one biographer claimed he won more hearts than souls after six years of Episcopal indolence during which time the Lord's work played second fiddle to convivial evenings at home along with visits to the capitals many taverns and bawdy houses blackburn was made Archbishop of York with the same devotion to his local parishioners that he'd shown in Exeter the new Archbishop immediately stayed in London took up an expensive residence in Downing Street and carried on exactly as before it said that in fact he grew even more Idol performing no confirmations in 10 years and spectacularly offending the rector of st. Mary's Church in Nottingham during a visit by asking for a pipe tobacco and some liquor so he could unwind after a hard day's praying in conversation with Queen Caroline the wife of the recently crowned george ii he offered what he no doubt considered to be words of comfort when she learned of her husband's infidelity madam he said I'm glad you like the Kings new mistress lady Yarmouth it shows you are a sensible woman your majesty having no objection for your husband to divert himself how the Queen took this compliment is not recorded at the time Blackburn's own mistress was regularly visiting the family home even when mrs. Blackburn was in attendance a situation that sorely vexed her as he grew older tales of Blackburn's lewd behavior began to become common knowledge it was said that to win his favor a man need not display his devotion to Christ or knowledge of the Bible but should rather introduce him to his pretty wife poems and broadsheets told the tale of his seduction of a young milkmaid who he employed as his secretary and how as a reward for her favors he gave her brother an ecclesiastical position despite the fact that the land was a drooling imbecile another poem related his love for sharing his bed with two strumpets at a time an arrangement he endeavoured to enjoy as often as he could Blackburn's previous life on the other side of the law may also have fueled the popular rumor that the legendary highwayman Dick Turpin had once been his servant although even by the Archbishop standards this seems a little far-fetched at his death they said every prostitute in Yorkshire wept openly the writer Horace Walpole called him the jolly old Archbishop of York but admitted that he possessed a less than reverential attitude to monogamy while many men of God retreat from life and know little of its realities it can truly be said that when Lancelot Blackburn ruminated upon sin he was more often than not talking from experience he'll probably be forgiven [Music] you

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Id: MghEv6WRvR8

Length: 12min 8sec (728 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 23 2018