The Acolyte Episode 2: Execute Order 66 Chicken McNuggets!!

after watching the second episode of the acolyte I can only come to the conclusion that this is some sort of spoof in the vein of the Naked Gun about Star Wars and how Disney have co-opted it and Corporation turns it into what it is sadly we all know that it's not the case and this is genuinely someone's attempt at entertainment oh boy hi everyone it's as here from heel versus Baby Face yes there's been a 48h hour gap between the reviews of episode 1 and episode 2 of the acolyte which actually aired back to back why because I actually needed to regenerate some brain cells after watching the first part a show whose writing is so laughably bad I had to wait until just half an hour before Friday night tight yesterday to build up the courage to watch it and now because I have you get to get all the Insight of how amazing it was and by amazing of course I mean dog yeah that's actually down in my OBS editing as Robin Hood noises if you want to know what happened in episode one go check out my previous review easiest 100K views on YouTube ever we're going to go balls I was actually going to say go balls deep into episode 2 but let's just be honest we all know there ain't a set of those in this show because men and boys AR allowed in Disney Star Wars anymore it starts off with diverse little girl throwing a stone at a Droid that's the gatekeeper of the local Jedi Temple this is a local Jedi Temple for local people award yourself five schur POS if you got that reference even more stunning a and braver twin sister assassin May throws this disc onto the Droid which causes it to go back into the wall and open the doors to the local Jedi Temple which allows her to just go waling in without anybody confronting her as to what she's doing there at that time being a local Jedi Temple and they not knowing who she is there again why would they it's not as if a master Jedi has just been murdered by an assassin who might be murdering other Jedi don't worry about don't think don't think just consume the gu garbage the garbage writing that is Disney Star Wars she minces on into the master Jedi's room he looks like a gay Ryan kinnel don't worry about that bit and he's just floating on air thinking about Jedi [ __ ] or something or other and for the second show in a row we get this embarrassing attack me with all your strength from a girl that's about as intimidating as somebody blowing their nose into a tissue so gay Ry kinnel does absolutely nothing at all so the worst assassin in the history of Assassins then tries to attack them but they just punch what I imagine is a bubble of force that is protecting the Jedi master and they're kicking it and punching it and elbowing it and jumping up on the walls and bouncing off it and falling on the ground and going and it's a [ __ ] joke she gets a little Navy poos out that she killed Trinity with like last episode she starts throwing them they just bounce off she tries stabbing him they don't do anything she's looking ridiculous right now and it's going to become apparent later that this Jedi Master knows exactly what she's trying to do he's just preventing her from doing anything with this ball of force energy around him so we finally hear some noises in the background it seems that they have realized there's somebody in the local Jedi Temple that shouldn't be there this dude comes in and sees that the Assassin has escaped through a skylight right above the Jedi Master you know a really good point of entry that probably nobody would have seen her but don't worry about that as maybe she didn't know there was a skylight there in the first place of course I'm absolutely incorrect it's not as if she's a [ __ ] assassin so the pad one's trying to do something on the control panel of and can't so stunning MC brave other twin sister wakes up and says hey have you ever thought about bypassing the compressor she then decides to flirt with the child by talking about how flexible she is on the outside I I can't even with this one so Master squid game goes to talk to Brown Boy Summer and he says hey look why isn't our prisoner in restraints she's already escaped once we don't even know if the story she's telling us is true we don't even know if she's actually working in cahoots with her twin sister and master squid game says don't worry about it we need plot to happen now we get to one of the dumbest scenes I think I've seen in Star Wars so far Master squid game is talking to Leslie headland's wife and he's telling her that OSHA has a twin sister who was presumed dead 16 years ago so this is the first that she's hearing about this he then goes on to say I reckon that that twin sister that we've just discovered may or may not actually still be alive is probably responsible for the death of Master Trinity and Leslie hedin's wife says yeah I'm inclined to agree what you literally just discovered a couple of seconds ago that she might be alive and you're already inclined to degree that this person that might be alive is actually the culprit am I [ __ ] crazy pills here think about it for a moment from their perspective our perspective we know that she actually did it but in their perspective they have an eyewitness that put her there at the crime scene she ran away from the Jedi only to be apprehended when she was apprehended she says oh by the way my twin sister who you personally saw die 16 years ago she's actually the real culprit he took turns around and goes fair enough you've convinced me and then Leslie headland's wife says fair enough you've convinced me these are the dumbest [ __ ] Jedi brown boy summer is the only one who they in the show have been playing off as an idiot so far to ask good logical questions but he's been treated as if he's being put in his place don't give interfere says Master squid game to him he's not he's asking the right question questions so the only way that these two Jedi Masters would have any idea about what's going on is if they watch the first [ __ ] episode of the show and found out now if you're watching the show you could have said ah but as after they've said that she says we actually have images of of OSHA's sister being at the local Jedi Temple so it can't be OSHA that killed the other Jedi so you are right I would be inclined to agree but in a moment in the show the two of them are going to meet and they're going to have exactly the same [ __ ] haircut which to me says how can you have been separated from your twin for 16 years and you've got the idential haircut unless you're working in cahoots with one another and one of you killed one of the Jedi and one of you killed the other they still have to move with caution here because she was identified by the barkeep as the killer but the characters can only be as smart as the writing and the writing is trash what should have happened is Master squid game presented his information Leslie headland's wife presents her information and they decide to proceed with ation because there is a chance that these twins are actually working together but no these are the stupidest Jedi in the Galaxy so we arrive at No Country for white men and may goes to this Apothecary where Asian Ezra Miller is sleeping she wakes him up and she says what are you wearing and he says oh I took it from the guy who owns this place I'm trying to blend in which to me says that they killed him and he's now running the shop as a front for May as she goes off and tries to kill the master Jedi this is going to be important information for later on May tells him that she's the worst assassin in the history of the world and says I need a new weapon to try and kill him I need a poison so he makes a one so if gay Ryan kinnel dies to this poison he is an accessory to murder and also likely a murderer as well bear this in mind folks for later on it's very important Master squid game then says nice T that's the scene Moving on but then we get a little touching moment where she says to him do you know what I probably wasn't a very good student and he says stop right there you are a strong independent woman of color I am just a balless cockless soy Merchant of a man in a Star Wars franchise it was all my fault I was a terrible Master stunning a brave as the Germans say so Master squid Game and his posy of [ __ ] arrive at the local Jedi Temple at the exact same time that may who climbs through the Skylight that she could have done in the first [ __ ] place when she tried to kill this guy first time round but the show I guess because plot's got to happen because now she can't come through the front door again because those Jedi are there doing their bit of plot so she's got to come to the Skylight plot to come down to do her plot so while they're asking about what happened the night before Execute Order 66 Muk chicken nuggets comes out and I'm like what the is that I know Disney hates men I know that they want every man to be stupid or incompetent or balless or sackless not an ounce of masculinity everywhere but this is a person who's trying to be a Jedi doesn't look like this guy's particularly [ __ ] disciplined does it oh but as you're a fat bastard too I know I am but I'm not trying to be a [ __ ] Jedi am I I'm sure the actor's a lovely guy in real life but imagery for a Jedi or a Jedi in training like this just looks stupid and it's all done purely because they hate men no other reason so they questioned the little girl from the beginning of the show that made the security Droid pop out and they said who did you open the door for and she said her and points to OSHA but she had a hood on again the Jedi should be acting with caution here yeah it does look like the other twin is up and about trying to kill this Jedi but it doesn't exonerate OSHA from potentially killing Master Trinity they could still be working together but again they just dismiss it completely and allow them all to come walting into the Jedi Temple and more importantly just let OSHA fuckety by on her own when they know that the Jedi Master here is under attack Sam is really cryptic with a Jedi master she says I offer you a choice admit your crimes to the Jedi Council or as she takes the poison off receive your forgiveness Right Here Right Now by offering yourself although what if the Jedi Master just went nah what if I just don't do anything you can't get through my Force bubble we just saw that from earlier in the show what kind of choice is that it's it's one that he doesn't even have to take up but for some reason he now decides to come out of meditation and say I've been waiting for you may really cuz she was here last night and you didn't [ __ ] bother then and we're going to find out in a moment he chooses to drink the poison and self delete but we also know now that he was fully aware that she was there last night but prevented her from attacking him so why last night were you not into it but this morning you're into it make it make sense what a difference a day makes 24 little hours now because this show is written by window licking morons OSHA breaks away from the rest of the Jedi they let her because [ __ ] this show she wanders off into Master Tobin's Chambers where he's dead she goes and picks up the vial of poison and puts a fingerprints all over it then touches the body putting a fingerprint and DNA and all that kind of [ __ ] over that then the Jedi walk in and go oh my god look she could be the killer after all oh so we're going to get that now are we no because moments later Brown Boy Summer then walks in and goes nah it wasn't her I was following her she didn't do it so what was all this nonsense for then set up and pay off of nothing we're going to set it up that the Jedi come in and think actually maybe she is the killer oh no no no no we're not we're not going to do that at all we're just going to get rid of that in immediately and waste everybody's time so they identify the poison as originating from OSHA's home world and they also identify via Execute Order 66 chicken mck nuggets that there's only one Apothecary in town this is a mystery than inspector cluso could [ __ ] solve no problem so Execute Order 66 chicken mck nuggets says Hey discount Asian Ezra Miller that's not our regular Apothecary I don't recognize him do you think they question him where it is no even though he's probably killed him no don't worry about that so Brown Boy Summer then says right what if I go in I'll stun G we'll interrogate him we'll get all the information it'll be great and then the little padwan goes no [ __ ] that guy he's got male genitalia maybe possibly so [ __ ] him in the ass I'm a whamon strong in dependent alien wam of some color listen to me what we do is we send oer in pretending that she's May that way we gain his trust we get some information and a confession about where May is Bob's your uncle Fanny's your aunt and Squid game says uh [ __ ] it yeah I'm a man so I always defer to women particularly padwan even though I'm a Jedi master and I should be running the [ __ ] show anyway but this Show's so [ __ ] [ __ ] uh why would I even contemplate doing that hailo women women are great particularly lesbians Al something maybe the absolute disdain that they have for men is just so palpable so OSHA goes in disguised as main a really shitty disguise and discount a Asian Ezra Miller just immediately spills all the beans hey did he kill him did he kill him with the poison I gave you did you kill the master Jedi with the poison that I gave you saw the Jedi come bursting in O it's this is a bust don't you move and he says Ah I didn't know that she was going to kill the master Jedi with the poison that I gave her even though I just actually said I know that you killed the master Jedi with the poison that I gave you please please have mercy and so Master squid game says tell you what spill the beans and what you know I'll let you off with a warning and asan e r goes are you [ __ ] [ __ ] seriously are you [ __ ] I have confessed to supplying the poison that killed the master Jedi full knowing that the poison was for the master Jedi and just because I go hey look I'll tell you what I know about me you're going to let me off with a warning holy [ __ ] you are dumb hey do you want to ask me about where the actual Apothecary is that runs this shop don't cuz I [ __ ] killed him look I stole his clothes and everything but I bet you just give me a slap on the wrist for that as well and tell me to be a good little boy you say look maybe we'll get you a reduced sentence or maybe we'll put you in a prison that isn't as harsh as others you don't go tell us what you know and you can go scotf free Mr murderer this is so dumb I've got a bad feeling about this oh shut your [ __ ] mouth so he tells them that may is going to come back to the Apothecary later in the night because he's holding some stuff for her so they secure the perimeter and master squid game is going to confront her one-on one samay then attacks Master squid game and what I get confused about is every time she goes to attack one of these Master Jedi and they easily block her attacks because she's the shittest Assassin that I've ever seen she always has this surprised look on her face how did you easily [ __ ] stop my crap move well I'm a master Jedi and I easily did it that's why she hasn't won any fights yet Trinity had to throw hers out of sympathy the other dude drunk the poison and killed himself and as we see Master squid game kicks the living [ __ ] out of her what is she even in this show for [ __ ] boy summer is watching the fight through the binoculars even though the fight is going on right below him literally 5et below him is the fight and you need B I just I just can't even I just can we end this episode now again Master squid game easily defeats her and easily reads her mind that would have been a nice trick for earlier you know when she was killing the guy with the poison he realizes that her master has been very careful to hide his identity so the fact that they keep referring to the master as a he means that it's probably going to be a woman a strong independent black woman probably their mom or something like that but definitely a woman I I'm 100% sure that smilo Ren is a woman so plot says that may had to escape AP so she used the greatest weapon to ever be used against a Jedi a bit of sand a a little bit of sand that's it just a little bit of a dust cloud and oh no are my Jedi Powers you know mind reading sense all that kind of stuff which I've easily used and Jedi can easily use h of that is complete and utterly helpless to the small little sand Cloud that got puffed up in our F oh [ __ ] off if only there was a Jedi to teach them that the force will allow you to see through things that your regular senses might be obscured to if only close your eyes your eyes can deceive you we must not trust them connect to the force these are the shittest Jedi imaginable so may carjacks one of the occupants of the town's vehicle not doing much for racial profiling there but never mind and she bumps into oosha and they're like ooh sup [ __ ] like sup [ __ ] and then oan tries to shoot her but maybe doesn't try very hard and may escapes oh my goodness me what's going to happen now well I'll tell you what's going to happen now a wook appears and it's the end of the show I don't give a [ __ ] I'll see you next week for episode three the force is actually lesbians it's coming believe me until then you take care goodbye for now [Music] w

Channel: HeelvsBabyface

Views: 140,024

Keywords: HeelvsBabyface, Heel vs Babyface, review, entertainment, video games, pop culture, sci fi, doctor who, star trek, comics, comedy, rant, the acolyte, episode 2, jedi, star wars, leslye headland, disney+, disney

Id: 2kWdfZelLuI

Length: 21min 9sec (1269 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 08 2024