The $8,000 Street Couch (w/ Ethan Nestor)

Welcome to Sad Boyz, a podcast about feelings and other things also. - I'm Jarvis. - I'm Jordan. And today, we are joined by a very special guest. You know him. You love him. He's the killer of CrankGameplays, the YouTube channel, - What happened? - Uh, one half of Unus Annus, uh, dad of, um... Dad of Spencer, and most recently, one half of the Brain Leak podcast. I was so confused when you were like, "Dad of..." - I was like, "I don't have..." - Yeah, you're my dad. - "Dad of me." - Oh, Ethan. Ethan Nestor. Hello, everyone. - Hi. - Our dad, maybe. Um, I'm so excited to be here and I'm really excited that, um, you guys don't use Shure SM7Bs. - Oh. Yes, yeah, like if – - [ETHAN] Mmhmm. This is a choice that we made, specifically, 'cause... - We're not hypebeasts. That's why, OK? - Yeah. We just – You know what it does to a podcast, - where you're locked into, like, - Yeah. the arm of – I mean, I have one over there - 'cause I use it on my desk. - It feels like, uh, ADHD ableism to have a locked microphone. Yeah, I'm like, "I just wanna move around." Jordan wouldn't be able to do half of his sitting positions if he was locked in. - What would people...? - Do you have a lot of weird positions - that you sit in? - Based on the comments. Yeah, based on a thing. The most recent comment we got... Oh my god, this is so funny. The most recent comment about our sitting positions and, like, I guess... Well, I'll just read this to you, and you can interpret it as you will. (clears throat) "There is a bit too much leg, side-ass, and crotch in this podcast." - How is there side-ass? - Are you just sitting kind of like this? I skimmed through the podcast that that was in reference to and it's just us sitting like this the whole time, so I don't know what they mean by "side-ass." How the fuck am I meant to have side-ass and crotch? Unless I'm spinning? Yeah. Yeah, we're moving around. We gotta make sure to get the side-ass. We gotta make sure to get the crotch. Um, and then they said, "I think maybe it's supposed to seem comfy or casual, maybe...??? But, I'm like... 'um, uncomfortable, actually.'" It's written in such an erratic way. Why...? Yeah, OK. It's written like a haiku. - The structuring is so strange. - "Um, uncomfortable, actually." "Methinks there's too much side-ass." - Yeah. - Uh, I really like the amount of side-ass. Thank you. You've actually got like - a perfect view of side-ass right now. - I do, yeah. - You've got both sides. - Yeah, I can see a bit... Go ahead, choose. That's what I said. We don't even have a camera here. - This would be the side-ass camera. - Yeah. Yeah, you can't get side-ass from these angles. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. - Not without paying $5 a month. - Crotch? Sure. - Leg? Of course. - Yeah. - You could do a lot of crotch. - [JARVIS] OK. All right. Direct behind would be fine, yeah. We have a camera just right here. - The crotch cam. - Right there. - It's slowly zooming in. - Yeah. - We hired a grip to... - That would be so good. - Yeah. - Dude, Ethan, how have you been? I feel like we got to hang out recently, so I have seen you, but... Uh, I've been good. It's cool – and you know this feeling – it's really cool not having to work out every day. - Yeah. - Uh, anymore. That's nice. I've been thinking about working out again, because I truly have not exercised - since Creator Clash, - Mmhmm. and it's been so freeing. It's fucked that you have to keep working out, you know? - Yeah. - I feel like training that much should be – you get 20 years. - 20 years. That would be good. - It should just lock in, and then you get to be in great shape for 20 years, and all of a sudden you're like, "I need to go back to the gym. I'm not as ripped anymore. Damn." It's starting to become incredible to me that I was able to get myself off of the couch - so many times in a row. - Mmhmm. Because Tears of the Kingdom is so good. It's so good. It's really fun. How considerate of Nintendo to not drop that during training. - Oh my god. - Ohhh. I would have had to drop out of the fight. You just have to drop out of Creator Clash. - Yeah. Sorry, guys. - Because of Tears of the Kingdom. Playing in the rig. I would just send a video of me building a mech or whatever that shoots lasers, and they'd be like, "We understand." Have you built a penis yet? You know... I'm gonna go ahead and say I haven't - done any crazy creative builds. - [ETHAN] I haven't either. I've mostly done utilitarian builds to get the job done. I've mostly done just very basic bridges. Bridges are good. I've been building, you know... Getting around the Depths, you know, I won't give too many spoilers, but if you know, you know. Getting around the Depths sucks butt. It sucks side-ass, - if I'm being completely frank. - Quite frankly. - I haven't even been down in there. - Oh, dude. You're gonna hate it. - I'm so excited. - It's crotch-tier, truth be told. Dude, it's a bunch of crotch shots. It's a bunch of side-ass. It's pretty much something that's very uncomfortable. - Question mark, question mark? - Um, uncomfortable, actually? That's... in reference to the Depth. Um... - You can be honest. - Is it called the Depth? - What is it called? - You gotta make one penis. Yeah, I should probably make one penis. I haven't made one penis yet. - How many? - I could... - Maybe I'll do that today. - It is called the Depths. Maybe that's what I'll do after this. I don't have a lot of plans, so... - Oh, yeah. - Maybe I'll just go and make a penis. - Wow. - That does sound kinda awesome, dude. Maybe we should just lay down these, uh, Shure SM58s and make a penis together. Man, and we could lay them down, and you could still hear us pretty fine because you don't have to have this mic in your mouth. That's true. Oh, you do have to have a SM7B, like, real close. I will say we do kind of ruin the podcast's aesthetic, because you're supposed to, you know, - have it covering half your face. - Obscure your face. You also have to be like a middling comic on Joe Rogan and talk about, like, "You see that monkey that drove a car?" - Yeah. - Do you guys, um, ever notice how stand-up comedians hold microphones? And how everyone holds it from, like, here? - Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah. They're like, "Let me..." It's so weird. "I mean, here's the thing, Los Angeles." (Jordan's volume fading in and out) It's so – Everyone's holding it from, like, the base of the XLR cable. "So, you ever been on Tinder?" It's a weird thing where... you're – you're trying to look cool and confident while holding this dangly little thing. Where you're just like, "So anyway, I was fucking one of my ladyfriends..." Maybe they do that to make it look less phallic? - Oh, yeah, 'cause if they're like... - 'Cause they don't wanna look gay. Yeah. "Fellas." "We always hit them with this, right?" - (furiously) "God." - Wait. Yeah, they're just doing a lot of, like, you know, arranging the, uh... - "Anyway, airplane food..." - "Wait, I just realized..." - Yeah. - What you guys should do for a special of, um, Sad Boyz, is you should take like 40 of these and dangle them from the ceiling, but you have them swinging. And so the entire time, you're trying to make it through this gauntlet - of microphones that are swinging, - Oh, yeah. but then you have to make sure that, like, you're getting the audio well. You're hitting on something important, which is it should be harder to do a podcast. - It should be. - Not everybody should be able to just go. - Yeah, the ease to... - I think we should start, uh... making people, like, get a permit for these things. - Mm. Like you have to do a test, - [JORDAN] Yeah. - like you have to go to the DMV. - Yeah. - The PMV. - Are we in charge of this? - Like, the – ? - No, I don't think so. - The verification? - And again, I think it should specifically be for the Shure SM7B, because that's like the podcast microphone. - Yeah. - And I think that if the Shure SM7B and the Scarlett 2i2 didn't exist, I think there would be way less podcasts. I... That's actually such a funny observation, because it is like the starter kit for everyone. Quite literally, yeah, Amazon kits - with two not-great mics, - Oh, yeah. but always, like, high-end, 18i8; low-end, 2i2; always a Scarlett, or like some strange Korean brand that when you touch it, it shakes. And, like, the outside's soft. Like, "Is it supposed to be like this?" I like how, um, it's always marketed as, "Michael Jackson recorded 'Thriller' on this microphone." - It's like, "OK? Cool." - "OK." "What do you think a podcast is?" Podcasting is much like "Thriller." So anyway, um, Ethan, how are you enjoying the Brain Leak podcast? Man, it's been good. You guys have to come on Brain Leak. - Yeah, we'll do that. - No, you're all right. Jordan's brain's all kinda gone at this point. - It's always leaking. - Don't say Wednesday. - Aw. - Aw, no, I'm busy that day. Don't even say the day. Please, don't say the day. It's not a weekday or a weekend, is it? - Oh, rats. - Oh, shit, does it end in "day"? - I'm actually booked up. - I'm dead. Yeah, I'll be in the ground. How come the months don't end in "month"? - Put it there, brother. - Every day ends in "day." - But it's not like... - You gotta go, man. -Junemonth. - No, that's... you're kinda spitting. Why do all the days end in "day"? We know it's a day. - We know it's a day. - It's Wednes. - We can agree, it's Wednes. Please. - Just call it "Wednes." - Wednes. - Mon, Tue. - Mmhmm. - Wednes. "Wednes" is rough. "Wednes" is really rough. I really like "Wednes." - Oh. - Oh, we do have fun, don't we? Yeah, we do have fun. - Thurs. - Wait, what the heck? So is it CrankGameplays or Ethan? I don't understand. - Yeah, dude. - Yeah, man. So, yeah. Wait, let's talk about this. So... - You, for many years, - Mmhmm. went by CrankGameplays. That was your YouTube. That was your – I mean, You were posting pretty cranked gameplays, - if I do say so myself. - Yeah, back in the day. - And then our little boy grew up. - Mmhmm. And he not only grew up, but he grew out. - Um, because... - Hmm. OK. Yeah, the width of me really increased. He mostly grew out. - A lot of leg, actually. - Same height the whole time. But, uh, metaphorically speaking, hey, maybe I don't always wanna play, uh, "powerwashing simulator." Maybe I don't always wanna crank these gameplays. Maybe I just want them to be, like, nice, soft, - uncranked gameplays. - Yeah, flaccid, kinda regular... - Flaccid gameplays. - Flaccid gameplays. All right, Jacob, cut to the crotch cam. Welcome back to FlaccidGameplays. I'm your host, Ethan Crank. Check the retention on that, and as soon as you open your legs it's just a spike. A spike. It's like "200% retention on this part. People just keep rewinding it." You could, if you really wanted to maintain the attention of people, you could just have a crotch cam always in the corner, kind of like a Let's Play. Always in the left-hand corner. Or like a dog cam, you know? Um... Well, but wait. I do wanna get back to the rebrand. Let's get back to the crotch – the rebrand. Sorry. So, uh, CrotchGameplays, you are a... So, I wanna say I'm very proud of you, because it's a very difficult thing to, like, say, "Hey, this was my brand. This was my identity online. I want to sort of be reborn," like a phoenix, into, you know, your new self. I'm sure that what your channel, what your handle and stuff represented at the time when you started that, has shifted, and now you can kinda come into your own as, "Hey, I'm just, like, a guy." I'm just some guy doing dude things, you know? - Just doing dude things with boys. - Put her there, brother. Hell yeah, dude. - These two fellas. - I'm lonely, man. I'm not doing well. - I'm just sad all the time. - "I'm just not doing well." Like, things are going well. I should feel better. I'm just not. I was telling Jarvis, uh, my mom called me while I was on my way here and she was like, "What are you doing?" I was like, "I'm going on some friends' podcast." And she's like, "Oh, what's it called?" I was like, "It's called Sad Boyz." And she asked what the podcast was about, and I made the joke of, "Oh, it's just if you're really sad, you go on it." And she, like, stopped for a moment and was like, "Are you sad?" And I was like, "No, Mom, I'm fine. It's a joke." But she got very, very worried. - That's kinda cute. - That's so funny. I mean, what's – We did... Uh, like we always do talk about... Just, like, naturally we talk about our emotions and stuff, but when we first started the podcast it was like the focus of every episode. And it is so emotionally exhausting to, like, talk about your emotions to that degree. Also... Like, I'm in therapy every week. Even that tires me out, like talking about my emotions. So, like.. doing it for content is like, I'd rather do it in passing than, like, put a spotlight on it, you know? I think that I should start streaming my therapy sessions. - [ETHAN] I think that'd be good. - Mm. You gotta collab with HealthyGamerGG. Yeah. I think I should just start. Have you watched those? - Yeah, I was on one once. - Really? - [ETHAN] Yeah. - I don't know if they're good. As far as the intentions, or...? No, the intentions I think are good. I just, like, watch it and it feels violating. I feel like I shouldn't be seeing someone's therapy session. Yeah. It was like... It was cool to be on, but at the same time I was like, "Wow, I was just very vulnerable very publicly." - Right. - And I'm pretty open, uh, for the most part, on the internet, but yeah. That was... That was one of the first times where I was really, like, diving into my psyche on a stream. Does switching to your real – Not that your name was private prior to the brand change, but does switching to just straightforward, regular, personal name, content-wise feel a little more vulnerable? There's not so much the shield of CrankGameplays as a brand? (high-pitched, thoughtful humming) It's a good question. - [JORDAN] Thanks, man. - Because, thinking about it, - that was such a good question. - Thanks. His sucked shit; mine was good. - Fucking put her there, brother. - That was so good. Actually, that means a lot. - Things are not going well for him. - Wow, um... This is the best thing that's happened to him all week. Um, that's a really good question, actually, because sometimes I'll stream, and people get a little bit more of a realistic version of me on stream because I'm way more chill and just sitting there, whereas when I'm recording, everything's a lot more fast-paced and energetic and stuff. So people have come into stream and been like, "Are you OK? You seem sad." And it's like, "I'm just not yelling." - Yeah. - Like, so I've always described CrankGameplays as a hyper-exaggerated version of myself. (energetically) But now I'm just Ethan Nestor. Is Ethan Nestor a hyper-exaggerated version of – - Who am I?! - Oh, shit. - Fuck! - Did CrankGameplays die, or did Ethan die, - and his name was transplanted? - Oh, fuck. - No, that's – - Now I don't know. What you're describing is a very real experience. I've probably talked about this on the podcast before, but when I started streaming, people exclusively knew me from edited YouTube content. And in edited YouTube content, you don't experience the range of human emotion. For example, I don't, in a YouTube video, - get annoyed by some idiot in the chat. - Yeah. So I'll, like, have a snarky comment at someone in the chat 'cause they're annoying and they're faceless, right? And then I had people on my subreddit write, like, "About Jarvis's personality..." And I'm like, "Whoa." But what it is is the delta between, like, the sort of parasocial ideal of what I was in an edited context, where I've always got a quippy joke, versus someone who, like, isn't cutting out the breaths as they're talking, you know? Yeah, 'cause with an edited thing, why wouldn't you... want it to – I mean, obviously there's a good time and place for this to not happen, but I feel like for entertainment purposes, why wouldn't you want to cut out the more uninteresting stuff? Well, yeah. It's a performance. There's a conventional editing style for YouTube content, and it would feel weird to just completely throw away - the existing wisdom, and... - Yeah. It works. People are watching the videos, so why would you tweak that? But then you're live and acting like a human being, or somebody meets you in person - Yeah. - and is like... They're nervous, but you're like, "I – Me too, as well." They meet you in real life and they're like, "All your breaths are there. What? That's so weird." - "Whoa!" - "Are you OK? You're so – like, - you're breathing and stuff." - "You're breathing weird." "You look like shit." Yeah, "You're not color-graded right now, and it's weirding me out." [JORDAN] "Who's Ethan?" Do you ever worry about, when you meet people in real life, that you're leaving the impression that they expect? Um, all the time. Um, I think it's maybe just because I'm anxious, but I can immediately tell if somebody has recognized me in public, and then I'll get really nervous about it, in the sense of I'll be like, "Have I been looking happy enough - this whole time that I've been existing - Oh, no. in this space?" What if they see me and they're like, - "Oh, man, he looks sad"? - Yeah. "I dropped my guard for a mere moment - and experienced emotions." - Yeah. "I'm so sorry to whoever may have witnessed that. My bad." I do get that all the time, though. A little after you – We got dinner with Eddy and Ted and a few other people last week. Um, and then, uh, after you had left, right as we were wrapping up, check paid, this kid comes over. He's maybe 15, 16. Comes over with his family and is like, "Are you Jordan Adika?" No. Actually, he didn't ask. He said, "You're Jordan Adika," - which was intense. - Oh, confidence. - But saves time, right? - And you said, "Yes." - I went, "Hell yeah." - "You have no idea who I am and what I'm capable of." "Yeah, I know Ethan Nestor. That's right." - "Who?" - "Crank – No, it's a whole thing." - "He hasn't announced it yet." - "Oh, CrankGameplays." It's the past, so that hasn't come out yet. But as soon as that happened, I'm like, "Yeah, Jarvis was here as well." He went, like, "Yeah?" And, like, "I watch Sad Boyz." I'm like – well, shit, he probably knows this is happening. - OK, yeah. Well, anyway, - Fuck. you were very nice. Very polite. Um, but as soon as that happened, I'm like, - "Wow, I was low-energy at this dinner." - Right. "I hope I didn't have any jokes that whiffed." - Yeah. - Like, just ate shit. And he saw the whole thing of you say something, nobody laughed, and then you're just like, (sighs). Nobody heard me 'cause the server was coming over, and I tried the same one again but somebody else had said it during me ordering, like, food I didn't want. "(stammering) No, it's fine." [JARVIS] When, um – I went to – Maybe this was last week. I went to an improv show in Santa Monica with, like, one of my friends from college and his wife and, uh, - Jessica? - Mmhmm. - Classic. - Jessica Crabb. Friend of the show. - Vintage Jessica moment. - Vintage Jessica Crabb. Um, she's like a friend of ours who's not a content creator, but she's been in some videos so people might know her. Um, after – After the improv show, we were just standing around, and then somebody was like, "Hey, are you Jarvis Johnson?" And I went, (dejectedly) "Yeah." And I was – Oh, the context was, uh, I was super tired, and I had just driven across town, and it was, like, after midnight, and I knew I was about to have to drive back. And I was kind of getting mentally prepared. People were gonna go out to a bar, and I was like, "I'm beat, guys. I gotta drive back home." And so in that moment, all that's what's going through my head, and somebody's like, "Hey, are you Jarvis?" and then, like, I, like, don't even register my brain is in that place, but I meant to, like, pick it up for this person. But I was just like, "Yeah." They were like, "Sorry; am I interrupting?" "No, I'm sorry, this is awesome." - "Thank you so much." - That's so funny. "I'm just like, bummed that I am." "Is that pissing you off? I agree." Is it generally the same kind of people for both of you? Uh... - As far as audience? - Individually, yeah. Like, do you often get approached by the same person, - same type of person? - Yeah, his name is Greg. - He will not leave me alone. - Yeah, it's a problem. He's probably at my house right now. Oh, real quick – Uh, sorry. Uh, that... That experience, I could not get out of my head the whole day. And then I checked my DMs and they DMed me, and it was like, "It was nice to meet you. Sorry if I'm interrupting," or "I was interrupting." And I was like, "No, but thank god you messaged me, 'cause now I can apologize," - Yeah. - Even though it didn't register to them. But in my head, I was like, "Oh, no, I wish I was the right guy." "The guy you expected. I hope that everything was good." "I hope that I –" "I hope I didn't ask if you were Jarvis Johnson, you weren't, and you lied." But, um... But yeah, uh, going back to Jordan's question about people who approach, It's a bit of a mix. But I think... Like, there is that sixth sense of... It's really just like you can feel when you're being watched. - Yeah. It's like the animal instinct. - Yeah. Just like I know that somebody is watching me. It's hard to separate from just being anxious all the time anyway. - Right. - You know? It's like, - "Am I being myself, or...?" - Yeah. The worst is like I love when people just come out and are like, - "Hey, love your stuff." - Mmhmm. That's ideal. One time – This has only happened once. I was at Philz, and somebody was like, sitting, like... I was on my laptop, and they're like where Jordan is. And they're just, like, looking at me. And I'm just like, doot-doot-doot-doot-doot, and I'm just kinda working. - And I can't do the thing where – - You're talking about... - Philz Coffee. - Yeah, Philz Coffee. No, this was Phil. - I was at Philip DeFranco's house. - That's literally what I was thinking, and I was like, "This is really interesting." - No, sorry. - Whispering, "Sup, you beautiful bastards." Sorry. Philz for us, it's kind of in the extended Sad Boyz lore. because we used to have it like every episode when we were living in San Francisco. But yeah, so I was at Philz Coffee. And somebody was just kind of breathing down my neck with their eyes. - [JORDAN] "Jarvis..." - And I couldn't do the thing... I can't be like, "Hi, you probably recognize me from the internet." "Would you like an autograph, or perhaps a picture?" Like, that would be insane. "Hi, I'm afraid." "You're scaring me. I don't know what to do." Yeah, and so I was just like, "Can you just like...?" I didn't know how to end the interaction, 'cause I just wanted them to come out and say something. Eventually they did. Um, but I think in the future if that were to happen, I'd be like, "Hey, how's it going?" 'Cause you're just in my space, - Yeah. - and I feel like, uh, if someone was in my space normally, I would be able to just be like, "Hey, what's up? Are you good? Is everything fine?" Does anybody ever say, "Hey, are you CrankGameplays?" I do get that a fair amount. I also... I also get, uh, "You look like CrankGameplays" a lot, which is really funny. - When you're right, you're right. - And sometimes, like... Sometimes I feel bad about doing this, but it is kind of funny, where I'll be like, "Yeah, I get that a lot. I hear he's kind of a dick, though." And then if they catch on, then great. But if they don't, - I'll just leave it at that sometimes. - [JORDAN] Hell yeah. And then I'll be like, "Well, thanks! Bye!" Yeah, and then there's a Reddit post where it's like, "I met a guy, and he said, uh, he heard CrankGameplays kinda sucked ass." Yeah, he's just kind of an asshole. And that becomes the rumor, and then people are like, "I was expecting you to be a dick." And that's why I had to rebrand. - Right. - That happened so many times, and I was just like, "Yeah, CrankGameplays is an asshole," where it started to catch up to me, so I was like... - Yeah. - Seán's been saying the same stuff. I guess Seán gets that, because people will be like – assume his name is Jack. I have to assume that happens 100% of the time. Yeah. Uh, he does get that a lot, where people are like, "You look like Jacksepticeye." - Yeah. - Especially when he's here in LA, because people are like, "He doesn't live in LA." "What? Why would he...?" - Yeah. - "...be here?" I... do love – Do you guys ever get, when you're like, at a coffee shop or whatever, where people are like, "Why are you here?" - It's like, "Uh, to get coffee?" - Yeah. "I just checked your channel. There's no one on any of the videos." - "You gotta get back in the videos." - It's so funny. - "Why are you here?" - [JARVIS] That's so funny. I got that at a grocery store once, where they're like, "What are you doing here?" I'm like, "Being a person?" "Yeah, don't you have your, like... I don't know, maid do this for you?" "Can you go to the special store where you're supposed to be?" "Don't all the famous people go to the famous-people place?" Like, "You're here at Ralphs? Don't you only go to Erewhon?" Yeah. "Why aren't you drinking, I don't know, Kylie Jenner's milkshake," or whatever the fuck from Erewhon? It's like a smoothie. And it's not Kylie Jenner. It's like Kendall Jenner, right? Isn't that who has a smoothie at Erewhon? [JACOB] It has, like, collagen in it. Yeah. For your skin, I presume? - Cool. - Oh. Really? - Yeah. - Interesting. - Let's go. - OK. Yeah, we taste-test it. That's more likely to be where somebody's like, "Why are you here?" - Yeah, that'd make sense. - "What are you doing here?" Tangentially related to taste-testing Kylie Jenner's... collagen... - Yeah? No notes. - The KJC? You guys were texting me about a thing to taste-test, but we can't. Yeah, OK. So here was the plan, OK? - To tell you what you were missing. - Here's what you're missing. Burger King made the most disgusting-looking sandwich. I didn't know about this until you texted me. - Yeah. - It's so bright, dude. It's so bright. So – Yeah. - [ETHAN] This? - There was actually – Let me, um... start recording in OBS. Um... That's... - Is that Shane Dawson? - No, ignore that. - Don't worry. - We were, um... - [JACOB] He was on the pod last week. - Yeah. - Well, he's coming back. - We're kind of a huge fan of him. Why, did something happen? I don't understand, guys. Shane's my guy, dude. The, uh, Spider-Verse sequel is coming out, - Across the Spider-Verse, I think? - Yes? And Burger King is doing a, like, collab with the movie in which they are making a Whopper, and it's just a Whopper... Well, there's two things different about it. The Whopper, it has a red bun. - Oh, does it? - Yeah, that's what you're looking at here. And then also, and this one is only if you really are into Burger King lore, Whoppers don't have cheese by default. You've gotta order them with cheese. And so this Whopper comes with Swiss cheese. Oh, because it's in a different dimension or something? - Yeah. - Switzerland. It's like, uh, you know when Spider-Man shoots webs? - That's actually Swiss cheese. - It's Swiss cheese. This looks like, um, a Pretty Patty from SpongeBob. Yeah, you're right. Like, it's so fucking vibrant. Yeah. I remember, there's the dark one too, right? - Oh, yeah. - Oh, dude, yes. - It just looks like the red Pretty Patty. - Yo, it really does. Actually, if someone hasn't tweeted that, you gotta get on that. Miles Morales's costume's not red. - You're right! - I don't know why. Well, they've made – I feel like black buns is too often done. - Mm. - As, like, a novelty. I will say, at least they can probably get access to it, as opposed to the shortage of red dye. Right. So the reason that we cannot have our, uh, red bun, that's apparently dyed red with beet juice, is – We were, like, calling all the Burger Kings in the area, and they're like, "There's an outage, and all the Burger Kings have been told..." The chip shortage has really messed with our buns. - Yeah, dude. - Yeah, 4090s and red beet dye. The two things, graphics cards and red buns. Strangely, manufactured at the same place. Don't tell Shane Dawson. Um, but... But yeah, like... Uh, they've been told that they're out across – Across the Spider-Verse, actually, they're out. What is that e-mail? Well, because – - Yeah, "Attention –" - "We just don't have it." "Attention, Burger King. This is coming from top brass." "Uh, consider yourselves out of red buns." They should have known in advance, right? - Checked the stock? - Right! You would think, right? Maybe it's more popular than they expected, but I can't imagine it is. Burger King's not that popular to begin with. The only people buying it are us. Yeah. So I thought. I think that Burger King, as far as fast food goes, uh, is pretty low-tier, in my book. - Yeah. - [JORDAN] Mid performance. Yeah, it's pretty mid. I will say, I have a personal relationship with Burger King, because... Have you talked about that on the podcast yet? I don't know. - [JORDAN] I think so. - Well, because you and Burger King, like, you guys have always shown up at parties and stuff together. - Yeah, and we haven't gone public-public. - Exactly. You're something of a burger prince. So, yeah. We... couldn't get the red burger. - Um... - What did they tell you? Well, sorry; did you call and you were like...? Yeah, we called multiple Burger Kings, and they said that – They said that all the Burger Kings have been told that they are out of the red bun because of an outage, or shortage. Every King. Yeah. They said, "If they have it, they have it, but there's no way to know without going into the store." So, that's a really weird... I feel like that's a really weird thing for you to be told. Like, why wouldn't they just say, "Sorry, we're out of them"? I know. Why did they give us so much information? - [JORDAN] I don't need logistics. - Did we accidentally call corporate Burger King headquarters? "We've been told that we're out." Which, also, what does that mean? - I don't know. - Why wouldn't you just say, "Yeah, sorry. We're sold out of them"? I – Look, I have no idea. It almost reminds me of back when I was a kid and I wanted specific toys. And they would call – I think that happened. Maybe during Pokémon stuff. Where you'd call and be like, "Hey, do you have the special Pokémon toy?" Hold on. - [JORDAN] Just throws up. - That's what I... - (Jarvis fakes throwing up) - "I don't wanna do this." Uh, so I actually have Burger King toys. I just realized I had these. Uh... This is a random thing I own. I don't know why. I have sealed Burger King toys from the Pokémon first movie. Oh, it's like a little Mewtwo? Yeah, like the little... I love how you just had those loose over there somewhere. Yeah, because I just moved. I was mentioning this, and then I was like, "Oh, my bag of..." - Literally, it's a set of them. - Oh my god. And it's all, uh, sealed. - These aren't worth a lot of money. - Not all of them. They're not – I also have – Yeah. "Complete your collection of 57 Pokémon, - only at Burger King." - Bro, $2 off the video? Wait, this one is open. - 'Ey, it popped open. - Who's in there? So, what is this? Is this the Jigglypuff? Oh, Clefairy. - Clefable. - The Joker? - So, yeah. These toys were high-quality. - What's on the bottom there? Why does it have a buttplug? - I'll show you why it has a buttplug. - OK. Mmkay. Cut this. I don't know if the camera's gonna be able to get this, but... - What the hell?! Wait. Yo! - Whoa! That's so cool. Wow, he's really going. - Damn. - [JORDAN] Jesus. - So do you, like, Beyblade these? - These toys used to be sick. No, they all had different things that they did. - Oh! - Oh, it's just... Clefairy that goes sicko mode? I think a couple of them do that, and I think some of the other ones do other stuff. (softly) Wow. [JORDAN] Shoutouts to anybody leaving the comment about it not being Clefairy. My B. My bad. [JARVIS] Clefable, yeah. Did you say "Clefurry"? Yeah, Clefurry. Clefurry. It costs $4,000. So, I don't know. A part of me does wanna open these. But I know I have some of them, like... Un – I have some of them opened. I think there's a – There's some sort of... I get – Oh, yeah, here we go. There's a little insert. Can I just say that Happy Meal toys used to be way better? I haven't gotten a Happy Meal in, uh... Yeah, it sounds like I get Happy Meals all the time. I kept getting toys every week. - Do they still do them? - Yeah. They're sad now, though. They're so sad. - Sad meals? - Look at this. Isn't this sick? It's like... "Pokémon: The First Movie, available on VHS and DVD March 2000." I love shit like this, man. It just takes me back to my childhood. Oh, yeah, so you can get – Golem's a spinning top. Um... Yeah, so some of these are... Oh, Geodude's a gun. That's cool. Hell yeah. I mean, I assume Diglett is not spinning, right? - Kind of his whole thing is being... - I don't think they all spin. - But... - "Rev-Tops." It looks like they all spin. Here, let's open up another one. (gasps) Wow, we're gonna open up another? Well, this one definitely doesn't spin. I can feel it. It doesn't have the hardiness to it. - This one's like a squeaker. - Only one way to find out. This one's – Oh. This is like a Poliwag – It's insane that I know this without opening the bag. This is, uh, a Poliwag that spits water. So you suck up water, and then you squeeze it and it spits out water. So they... - Some of them do different things. - Some of them squirt, yeah. You're such an unassuming Pokémon person. And this one is a plushie. This one's a plushie. - Yeah. - Oh. Oh! - It's nice. I like this one. - Yeah. - I will take this, actually. - I don't know why I'm like this, man. - I just kind of always... - I wanna feel. I've always been a Pokémon guy, - but I don't – - Who's this? Who's that Pokémon? "Ow! Stop! Please!" You're killing him! It's got a little bit of a sandbag in it. - Sorry; you suck shit at spinning that. - I know. I'm really bad at it. Actually, the only reason I know how to do it is 'cause I did it as a kid. - Yeah, there you go. - Ooh, that one was good. I don't actually know. We should just look at pictures online of these. - We should go get a Happy Meal. - So, how many...? Oh, man. Maybe I'll get a Happy Meal after this. Because I was on Sad Boyz, I have to counteract that. - Yeah. - Peanuts, brother, maybe. - Mm... - No, don't do that. We could just eat peanuts on the podcast. - No! Actually, we did get – - Oh, that'd be cool. Sorry. Let me put this down. Um, we did get pastries, and I, for brief moment, forgot that you have, like, - a deadly peanut allergy. - I do. And... it is probably the case that peanuts were not used to make these pastries. But because it's such a severe allergy, - better safe than sorry. - Yes. So, you said that, on the podcast, you should show us what you do in this situation, and I don't know what that means. Yeah, so, let's break open these bad boys. All right, so here's what we got. Um, so, usually, I would just call the place that we get them from. Oh, yeah, and we can't mention the name, 'cause I don't wanna dox one of our favorite places. - But they don't have a phone number. - We didn't have a phone number. They only do e-mail. That was actually wild. I'm gonna check if they responded to my e-mail. - Oh, yeah, you did e-mail them. - Yeah, check your e-mail. - Let's do a live, uh... - So, we've got a maple donut. We've got, uh, probably a cherry donut. - Yes. - No way to call them and verify. Cinnamon sugar, and then a morning bun. What is a morning bun? Is it just a...? It's like a little croissant roll with, like, cinnamon – or with, like, sugar. It's M-O-U-R. - It's if you die from eating the peanut. - Ohhh. Like if, for example, CrankGameplays dies, - Yes. - you might get someone a "mourning" bun. Hold on. Wait. Give me the box. I'll show you what I do. So, if I'm not sure about something... Don't just stuff it in your mouth and be like, "Now you gotta call the emergency room!" So, I'll take a little tiny... I'll take a little tiny bit, right? - Oh, this – it's so flaky. - Yeah, it's croissant-y. - It's the peanut. - So I'll just take like a little... - I'm nervous. - He's gonna die. Because we know that it's not a peanut thing. - Right. - Right. You don't, though, 'cause you don't know what a morning bun is, you just said. That's true, so we will be in mourning after this, 'cause I'm going to die. Um, so, most – most likely, that won't kill me. - I am – - Great for clickbait. - "We killed CrankGameplays." - But we'll find out if I start to get, like, a little bit hive-y. - Dude, we were talking – - Then I won't eat any more. We were talking about – So, is that the – If you... - You know, obviously that's not a peanut. - Mmhmm. It's like Edwardian science. Ill humors. - Yeah. - 'Cause usually – Do you... Do you get a place that you get hives normally? Uh, I get them everywhere, - um, but my back, I think, - Mmhmm. is a place that I get them a lot. My arms. My body, my legs. No, it's everywhere. [JORDAN] A lot of side-ass, a lot of leg. So, I usually start to get... They will go everywhere, but they'll usually start on my forearm. Mm. So, we were talking before about hives. I have, like, chronic urticaria, which is just chronic hives. And, um – But it's like an autoimmune thing, where it's not... - I've never heard about it, which is wild. - There's a subreddit. Uh... It's your subreddit. - Yeah, actually, I wonder... - UnnamedFanbase. Urticaria Reddit. "A subreddit for all who suffer with various Urticarias." - Uh, "1 Year of Chronic Hives Cured." - Ooh! - But like... - Well, why don't you just do that? - One year of chronic hives cured? - So, this isn't what mine look like. - Whoa. - Oh, that's what mine look like. Oh, yummy. - And we won't have this – - We won't show it. I think it'd probably gross people out. But that's what it looks like, like little countries. Can we get a wrist check real quick? [JARVIS] Oh, yeah, how are you doing over there? Yeah, so, it would probably happen in - the span of a couple minutes. - Oh, hell yeah. Dude, it's so – allergies are nothing to play around with. Aw, man. That is such a good idea. I should purposely give myself an allergy attack and do an allergy attack speedrun, - and see how quickly my body reacts. - Don't do that. - Wow, that's insane. - That'd be so good, though. - [JORDAN] It is not. - Also, you were talking about, like, the old science-y thing of, like... But allergies, that's what they do. For an allergy test they're literally like, - Fucking rub it on you. - "Let's poke you with 50 things," "and see if your body reacts." So, I did a research study when I was, uh, in high school uh, for immunotherapy. So, it was just to see if you could build up a tolerance. - [JORDAN] Oh, right. - And so... In your case, to peanuts? So, I... At the end of the study, I had to drop out because I was having, like, random reactions, where the variables weren't changing. I was taking the same dose every day at the same exact time. Sometimes I would have a reaction; sometimes I wouldn't. So, it just got, like... Uh, honestly... It... It was just inconvenient to not know when I was gonna have a reaction or not. It does sometimes feel as though, like... We've some so far with medicine, and every now and then, especially, actually, with mental health meds, they're just like, "Hey, how does this work? Why doesn't it work for some people?" I've asked my psych that. He's like, "Who's to say?" "Hey, man, it's not a freaking science. I don't know." - "I don't know." - "It's all jazz." - I just sent you photos of - Oh, yeah. me having an allergic reaction. This is very relatable to me. I used to – There's, like, days where I looked like this and couldn't go to school. - Yeah. - [JARVIS] 'Cause, uh... Or I would have a thing happen where my knees would get, like, super inflamed and I couldn't walk. - So I would just... - Oh, weird. Yeah. It would be like... It would be like my, uh... The tightness and swelling, uh... It was almost like when those little hives – This is so – I don't know if this is a trigger warning or whatever, but this is so nasty-sounding to me. Like if I was listening to this and I didn't know what it was like, then it would sound nasty. But anyway, all those little countries kind of combine, and it generates this swell in my joints, - and then I can't move anything. - Oh, weird. - Yeah. It's crazy. - So, the... What we were just saying about, like, "It's crazy how you just do it and see what happens," um, the start of the research study, the goal was to see how many peanuts I could eat, basically. - This was not a study. - It's like a cursed YouTube challenge. - Yeah. So... - Did the doctor have, like, a beak mask? - Oh, yeah, damn. - "I'm gonna eat four peanuts - and see if I die." - But literally, the start of the study was "we have to see what your tolerance is." "So, you have to just keep eating peanuts until you go into anaphylactic shock." - [JARVIS] That's crazy. - And I could back out. They were like, "You can back out at any time, and you can say, 'I've had enough.' We're not just gonna force you into this." "But we would like to see what your... How much you can take." And so in the name of science, I did that. Um, yeah. And so they just kept giving me small – They start with, like, microscopic doses of peanut flour and then slowly build it up. So this was over the course of like an entire day. Um, but yeah, I just kept eating small doses of peanut flour until I had a reaction. It was sick. I wish I could contribute, but when I was a kid, instead of getting allergies and stuff, I was busy being hot and getting laid. - Yeah. - Fuck, man. I should've prioritized this kinda stuff. Yeah. That was the whole thing, is like, every time I went to, you know, have sex it was like, "Oh, man, I have all of these hives." - "And I've had sex." - "And I've had a lot of it." - "I know where it goes, so..." - "I know where it goes." "I'm not scared." Did you, uh... Ethan, did you have any kind of like, uh, self-consciousness related to that? To, like, "Oh, I'm at school and I can't eat the thing, what a freak"? Um, I always... Now, I really love Halloween. Growing up, I really hated Halloween because I always felt very left out. Um, I did have, at my school, in elementary school – Once I hit middle school, then my parents were a little bit less paranoid because I was smarter. Um, but when I was in elementary school, I had my own private table, - [JORDAN] Really? - because when you're a kid there's so – So many people are bringing peanut butter and jelly to school. So I had my own private table, and you could only come and eat at the table if I invited you and you had a safe lunch. Um, which sounds so cool and exclusive. But when you're a child, it's like, "Oh, man, I don't know how to make friends, and so I'm just eating alone every day." At some point, like, affectations become cool a little bit, like, "Yeah, this thing's unique," or whatever. - Yeah. - But until exactly that point, children will roast you for just - "your shoes are taller" or something. - Yeah. Like, there's just nothing that you should be getting you bullied for, - [JORDAN] but it'll get you. - We've done this podcast for so long, but I feel like I've talked about all of my life's experiences, you know? How long have you guys been doing Sad Boyz? - OK, well, the current – - That's private. - Sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up. - I'm swelling. I'm allergic to that question. - [JORDAN] Zip. - The, um, current iteration of the show, where we're doing it every week, - has only been going on for a few months. - Mmhmm. - Right, Jacob? - [JACOB] Since February. Since February. Uh, but prior to that there's a different era of the show where we were, like, doing it remotely, which is a question I wanted to ask you, 'cause Seán does not live here. - Mmhmm. - And then initially, the show started in San Francisco in 2017. - It started in LA, actually, - Oh, damn. but we did it when we were both working at Patreon. Uh, and we... - It was pretty regular back then. - Is that how you met? Yeah. - How was that? - It was a $5 tier. - You get to be friends with me. - Yeah. - Yeah, I met him through - Nobody signed up. the Patreon account of Patreon the company, where you can befriend any of their employees for $5.99. There was – Do you remember that? There was a Patreon Patreon. - Oh, yeah. - For like six months. What was on the Patreon Patreon? It was just a newsletter. - So you had to pay for the newsletter? - Yeah, to get updates about the – I think it was just for, like, as many case studies on the website as possible was good. Did it have a lot of patrons because it's the Patreon Patreon? - No. - No. It's like if you go to the Yelp page for Yelp, the company, it has like one and a half stars. - Wow. - 'Cause it's where everybody directs - their hate about random stuff. - They should do something about that. It's like, look no further to – People are like... Sorry; I'm eating. What am I doing? No, you can eat. What else are they for? Other than to test if I'm allergic to them? Yeah. Wrist check! - Oh, yeah, we got nothing. - Disappointing. L. - Yeah, so far. - Enjoy yourself a morning bun. - I guess I can have a morning bun. - Mon frère, please. [JARVIS] They were, uh... There's all these conspiracies about how you can, like, pay to get all this special treatment from Yelp, but I feel like if that existed, Yelp would make their own page not look like a garbage fire. It's, like, pathetic how bad it is. Oh, you mean that restaurants will, like, pay - for unofficial reviews? - Yeah. Everyone has a story about, like, "My aunt's, like... grandma's uncle," or whatever, uh, "got a call from Yelp, and they said they would remove all the bad reviews if they paid us money," or whatever. - That is true. - [JORDAN] Like the mafia. 'Cause I did get those calls – Not for CrankGameplays. Uh, back when I worked at a restaurant, we would get those calls a lot, of people from Yelp calling and being like... I think they're impersonating Yelp. It's a good reason to not have a phone number, actually. Yeah. There you go. I guess not that bad an idea. Yeah. "Hey, be a shame if something happened to your Yelp page." Yeah, do you think that they call restaurants and, like, blackmail them? I think they do. Not Yelp, but like... I think people scam. I mean, yeah. There's like bad-review fetishist people that go to restaurants and write bad reviews, and, like, "Yeah, I'm mean. That's what I do." I've never written a Yelp review. The people who write Yelp reviews are... Hold on. (laughing) Let me not – - Careful. Careful! - Simmer down. Um... Well, let me just say that, like... As someone who worked at Yelp, - I spent a lot of time – - Wait, you worked at Yelp? I did work at Yelp, yeah. - Oh. - That's a random fun fact. He was one of the stars. Before I worked at Patreon – Yeah, actually, I was the third one. - So I got a lot of use. - He was literally mid. Yeah, I was the mid star. Um... Before I worked at Patreon, I worked at Yelp as a software engineer. And the, uh... Because I was working on the website, I would read – You would just read reviews all the time, because you would just see the data, you know? And I developed such a disdain for people who write Yelp reviews because they're all so self-important that, like – And this isn't every Yelp review. But, like, the people who are in Yelp Elite, which is like one of those "if you know, you know" things. But if you write a ton of reviews that get a certain amount of ratings, every January there's a new class of, like, - Yelp Elites, and there's a badge – - It's like XXL Freshman. Literally, there's like – There's like a badge on your account where it's like, "Yelp Elite, 2014" or whatever, and it comes up on your reviews, so it makes it seem - like you're more elite. - Yeah. Um... And – YouTube could have been like this, 'cause YouTube used to run off of the five-star system. - Oh, yeah! - [JORDAN] Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Before Likes on YouTube, - there were five-star ratings. - Yeah. Imagine if commenters on YouTube were like, "Um, I don't usually like giving a zero-star review, - but this video deserves one." - It's so funny. "Uh, it was not engaging. There was not someone yelling at the top of their lungs." "It was too loud." "My volume was at the top and I didn't know how to change it." "This gold-digger prank gets five stars from me." Do you guys ever get that when you're streaming, speaking of, like, "the volume was too loud"? I'll get people who are like, "Ethan, uh, the stream volume is low." And, like, I can see the waveforms, and a lot of times, like, I'll pull up my streams after, or during, and be like, "No, the volume's fine." "You just have to turn up your own volume." "Your volume is low." "Same thing happens with phone calls and every channel I've ever seen. It's really quiet, and the phone's off." The feeling of streaming and having some people go "It's too low" and some people go "It's too high" makes me wanna rip off my own skin. - Like, I just wanna become a skeleton. - It's so awful. "Hey, the network connection's really bad. It keeps dropping down. Also, my phone's out of battery." - Yeah, "And that's your fault." - "My dad's –" Yeah. - "My dad is yelling." - "My dad left for milk, and he hasn't come back." - This was so good. - Hell yeah, dude. - Morning bun, positive review. - This place. - "No peanuts, guaranteed." - I'll tell you the name of it later, because it's a place that I go, and there is someone who works there who's a fan of yours. Oh, it's this place! - Damn. - [JARVIS] Yeah. - Um... - How did that come up? Just by chance? I don't remember. It was so random. Uh, shoutout to Sophie. You know who you are. - Um... - So they have a server named Sophie. - Mmhmm. - And there's no phone number. - There's no phone number. - So figure it out, GeoGuessr. - And they have morning buns. - They do have morning buns. And they are great at - no peanuts, turns out. - Mmhmm. I mean, check my e-mail. Uh... - Oh, that would be so funny. - The e-mail's like, "Yeah, it's just the morning buns." - Yeah, just the morning bun. - I did actually get a response. - Did you? - Yeah. It's gonna be like, "We can't guarantee anything, because we have other things that..." They actually said, "We are peanut-free, Jarvis. Hope that helps." - Hello! - Oh, that's great! When did we get the reply? Did they wait? - Five minutes ago. - They waited. They knew. - Wow, that's so nice of them. - They were like, "Hold on, he might be ingesting the morning bun. I need to..." There's like a homing device in every morning bun. Running to the airport. "I love you! Don't go!" "I'm peanut-free!" - My mans. - "And I love you." Every, uh – every time that, uh... that I've had a first kiss with somebody, I've had to be like, "Hey, you haven't eaten peanuts today, right?" Dude, that's a turn-on for me actually. - Which is really funny. - [JORDAN] That's cute. "Hey, you taste insane." "And you are... (gasping for air)" - I – OK. - (choking) "I love you." I wanna say, people act like asking to kiss someone or asking for consent or whatever - kills the moment. - Mmhmm. I think that those people are just bad at asking the question. I don't think they're sweeties. I don't think they're cute. Or they just don't have the rizz. I feel like you can rizz up somebody while being like, - Mmhmm. - Uh... "Before we do this, you haven't been eating peanuts, have you?" "Before we do this, how many peanuts have you had today?" Yeah, exactly. I would still kiss you. - You gotta know how to ask. - "I've got some kind of skin irritation." Uh, kind of related, I was talking to, uh, - our mutual friend Rosie, Jasminericegirl, - Oh, yeah. about this, and she was like, "Damn, like, if... If someone ate peanuts and then you had sex, and then you died, they could just be like, 'Damn, pussy so good it killed a man.'" - Which is like... Yeah. - Doing the eulogy. - Yeah. - "My B on that one." - Yeah. "Sorry, guys." - "Died the way he lived, you know?" Yeah, it's like, um... That's like, uh... There's some – Sorry. I'm trying to think of the joke. It's something about nut-free. [JARVIS] And sex. Something about that. - It's being an incel. - [JARVIS] Something in there, yeah. Yeah, being nut-free? Did you guys see that, uh, Reddit post, thread and argument? This is like a month ago at this point, but there was, in the I guess the "red pill" subreddit. I don't know which ones have been banned or whatever, but in a - prominent incel subreddit. - Right. Shoutouts, fellas. Uh, they don't generally accept or value "ascending," I believe is the term, which is when an incel has sex, and has thus betrayed the ideology or whatever. Um... I mean, that's just... That's like a volcel, isn't it? Because if you're choosing not to have sex, that's not being an incel. I saw the thing on Twitter - where people were like... - "Ascending." earnestly engaging with somebody who had, like, ascended, and they were asking him, "Why did you do this? Why did you betray us?" I didn't realize that there was that much... like, culture and community around incels. Like, I thought that... I thought that people just called incels "incels" as, like, a... - you know... - Insult? - As an insult. - Oh, like a Karen? I didn't know that people, like, - identified as... - There's people who identify as incels. - It's like their identity. - That's kind of the genesis, is people identifying themselves that way, - Yeah. - within like "red pill" community or manosphere whatever, and then, once that hit the mainstream, that kind of became the – It's the worst slur in America, - I think we can agree on that. - [ETHAN] I think so too. Unless you've got any that you like? Oh, uh, peanut-lover. [JORDAN] Jesus, dude, he's right there. - Um... - Peanut boy. "Oh, this motherfucker's a peanut boy." - Peanut boy. - I love, um, the concept of – Like, the thing that keeps coming to mind is someone, like, having sex and then his friends going, "Did you hear the news?" And they all come to him, like he's on a hospital bed, and he leans forward and angel wings come out of his back. - He's just glowing. - And he flies away. - (Jordan singing) - He's like, "I've ascended!" "I'm no longer an incel!" But yeah, anyway, there was just - an extended argument, 'cause this fella - "We'll miss you!" came into the subreddit not with a "Boys, I've ascended! I've appreciated my time here," whatever. Instead, he came in and was literally just like, "You're a bunch of virgin losers." Oh, I thought you were gonna say that he made his own eulogy. [JORDAN] "I once was lost, but now am found." "Here lies NeverLover123." "He was a great incel." Man, I kinda wanna go on the incel Reddit now sometime. - It's probably very sad. - Yeah, it's probably a real bummer. - Yeah. - All the highly-voted ones are like, "The Tate brothers are out of jail!" or whatever. - Oh, yeah. - Do you, uh... Being associated with video game stuff, do you ever feel as though your algorithm maybe rubs up against right-wing pipeline-type things? No, but it did start doing it kind of recently. I don't know if you got this, Jarvis, but specifically on Instagram, - because of Creator Clash, - Boxing! - I was watching a lot of boxing videos. - [JARVIS] Yeah. And then I started getting recommended a lot of, like, Joe Rogan, a lot of hypebeast-y kinda people. Um, yeah. I get that on Shorts. - Mm. - Because I watch, like, a lot of... a fair amount of, like, exercise stuff, but primarily... - I watch a lot of gaming content. - Yeah. And I think it's identified that my age and interest in gaming has lined me up with Joe Rogan, as opposed to Ben Shapiro. - Right. - If I was a little younger, maybe it would put me in the pipeline space, but instead it's like Brendan Schaub talking about, "You know you can wear different socks, and they stop you from turning gay from the fillings in your teeth?" or whatever. Every fucking episode of Joe Rogan. Yeah, how did we get here? "Jamie, pull that up." I've seen so many funny TikToks recently of people being like, "This is every man with a podcast." And it's like, "Can I blow your mind real quick?" And then it's a video being like, "They say that, uh, the distance from the earth to the moon is 93,642 lions, but if you look it up, actually, there's only 15,000 lions in existence on the planet. So, either they're lying about the number of lions, or..." - It's so funny. It's such a good TikTok. - My mind's been blown. - I know. - I feel old. - Yeah, you feel old yet? - You look like shit. Speaking of wanting to feel old, I've been dying to talk about this all episode. We talked about – This is kind of a few episodes in a row we've mentioned IShowSpeed, huge YouTube streamer. I have never seen a stream of his. It's loud. "It's loud." - Um... - [ETHAN] OK. It feels a little like traveling back in time. - Yeah? - It is what was appealing to us at the age of his demographic, I feel like. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it's like eating sour gummies now, where something has happened physically where I just don't have the tolerance that I did. I think I've always been a bit of an old man, even as a boy, because I liked eating bran flakes. Sorry. Just the "even as a boy." [JARVIS] Even as a boy. I was an old man. "Even when I was a youngling." Yeah, I think I've always, like... But I get it. I totally get what you mean. But anyway, IShowSpeed, incredibly successful, incredibly wealthy. There is a clip that went viral. I don't even need to know the context, 'cause it's just beautiful poetry in motion. He accidentally bought a $125,000 fedora in Roblox. And then he gets, like, genuinely upset about it. I would also get genuinely upset about it. Uh... Even if I just had, like, an insane amount of fucking money, where it wouldn't impact me at all. - But the thing that's worth noting – - I haven't seen the clip. I know that it happened. I didn't even know that – I know Roblox is very popular and the economy is pretty established. I did not know it was at a six-figure tier. - Yeah. - That's like Counter-Strike money. - I didn't either. - Yeah. The people, the developers... Like, there's a lot of video essays and things talking about how weirdly exploitative the space of Roblox development is, because there's a lot of money, a lot of children, a lot of people with no, like, employment experience that are just rife for the – ripe for the exploitation. Um, but also, worth noting that in order to do this, he had to have $125,000 in Robux already. - You know. - Yeah, it's not like "buy it now." - Yeah. - It's not connected to a credit card. There's a great thumbnail. But this is – it's so – like, this is so... I, like, feel bad laughing at this, but I think he's able to refund it. And also... I mean, whatever, man. I – there's – I feel like there is a justification for showing this, and I don't need to run this man's name through the mud, but yeah. [ISHOWSPEED] No! No! I gotta refund! No! No! Why didn't it ask for verification?! Why didn't it give me a verifica – oh my god! Yeah. I mean, I would say for exactly this reason is why they don't ask for verification. But... - You can customize it. You see that? - So, here's a question. Did... Roblox just get $125,000, or did some...? Well, it's a great question, because – Except he has like a CPM split or something. What's crazy is this says "By Roblox," and it says "verified." So I'm like, the Roblox company is selling items for 14 million Robux, which translates to like $150,000? I've always wondered that about... I mean, I'm sure this information is more available, but the CS:GO marketplace... Sure, there's third-party gambling sites, but Valve still has the information on who has what, and there must be some kind of revenue split between them, no? - Yeah. - There is, I think. Yeah. I think they take something off the transaction. Right, which maybe is why they're not super diligent about shutting that down. That is, um, a really good point that you made, though, Jarvis, is that he already had to have that money just in there. In fact, when you, when you, uh – Look here. It says, "Your balance after this transaction will be," like, - either 5 or 6 million Robux. - Oh! So, he put 20 – My guess is he put 20 million Robux in there, and then he accidentally purchased this. Maybe they don't ask for verification when you buy it. Yeah. So I'm like, it's hard to... Like, it's... hard to feel bad, because he was already going to buy some sort of cosmetic item in this video game. Yeah, I'm not worried about Speed's bag, for sure, right? Yeah. You can see right here he's making $150,000 a month. Yeah. So... What's the... What's the conversion there? - I want $1 per Robux. - Yeah. What is it? Give me. Um... Oh, OK, here we go. "During a stream, a viewer goaded Speed into checking out the fedora on his Discord while he was checking out expensive Roblox items." "Seeing the price, Speed decided it would be funny to bait his viewers into thinking he was gonna purchase the fedora, but back out at the confirmation screen." Uh, and then at this moment he fucked up. Um, "However, he did not realize he was about to click on the confirmation button, and unwittingly made one of the most expensive fedora purchases." Uh, "This barely reaches the most expensive fedora, at 50 million Robux." What do you reckon that fedora's got that this one doesn't? - Um... - What's the worst fedora got? - It's a highly political fedora, I guess. - What the fuck? Uh... "According to a Robux calculator, it would cost approximately $175,000 to purchase 14 million Robux." Roblux? Robux? Yeah. "Robux needed to buy the fedora. However, it is possible to resell it, but Speed won't be making much of his money back. I don't know if that's – no, that's true. A bonafide Speed sale, though. - That would be kinda sick. - Can he sign that? - [JORDAN] It's essentially an NFT. - Yeah, is there a digital signature? It is! - It is basically an NFT. You're right. - [JARVIS] Yeah. - Oh, man, that's so fucking funny. - That's... Yeah, I mean... I mean, look. He's like a teenager still, I think. He's like 19 or 20. - Is he really? - Yeah. - [ETHAN] Damn. - And it's like, but I – It's a video game. And he's so extremely wealthy that I can't - feel that bad. - Roblox has such a weird presence in the... - My – - Oh, also, he called – He, like, uh, has made racist comments to people at the World Cup and stuff. He's, like, got his fair share of controversies, and so, all things considered, whatever, you know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, he's not gonna - be hurt by that purchase. - He's not hurting, yeah, exactly. I just, I do wonder what the... Like, my ex's nephew, I literally met them two times. They were playing Roblox the entire time. Uh, right after school, right? And their relationship with Roblox mirrored kind of what I understood modern Fortnite to be, where it's less of a game and more just a vector for a bunch of different – like, go to a Marshmello concert, do whatever, all this metatext inside of a... You know, drop off the Battle Bus and then if you kiss Kylo Ren you get access to... You can mine real ethereum. Just like, five layers of inaccessible whatever. But I... I've never felt – and this kinda fits into that box. I've never felt less in touch with the meta, - Yeah. - the gaming meta. I didn't even see it go by, right? You don't know what the last time you pick up your son is gonna be. I thought I was up to date and informed, but what happened? I don't know anything about Roblox. Um, me either, except for I thought it was a game, and then I learned it was – It's a engine, or it's a platform, and then it's a bunch of games built around the platform. - Oh. I didn't even know that. - Yeah, it's like – remember Dreams? That PlayStation exclusive for a little while? - Oh, yeah. - It's like a successful version of Dreams. Oh, I remember that. Speaking of being out of the loop on things, uh, Ethan and I talked about this earlier. Jordan, you didn't know what we were talking about. - I'm not even pissed. - A couple of cool fellas over here. Just a little peanut boy over here. - I don't remember. - Oh, about couchgate. Oh! Yes. - [JORDAN] HOV! - [JARVIS] Oh! HOV! - Show a little side-ass for couchgate. - Oh, you're crazy for this one, Rick. Um... So... Yeah, show a little side-ass for couchgate. Couchgate is actually about us showing too much side-ass on the couch. What could it mean? - Yeah, do you have any guess? - There's just no – So, my initial guess was it's in the vein of, like, "the dress" or "Yanny/Laurel," right? So, it is not in the way of everyone's trying to guess something about the couch, but yes, in a way that everyone's talking about it - and everyone has hot takes about it. - Is it a controversy? - In a way. - Is it a what? - Controversy. - Oh. (Britishly) Controversy. Sorry; I'm his translator. - Kind of. - (Cockney) Is it a controversy? (unintelligible Cockney noises) Podcast that's just me and Seán. Yeah, and fucking nobody can understand. (unintelligible Irish noises) (as Seán) "We can't believe that another contro... 'coach'-gate." Come on, man. Don't tell him, dude, please? So, if you look at the image... Oh, yeah. - It's a couch. I'll admit it. - Of the couch. Let me see if this is... - Oh. - "Why is everyone on Twitter talking about this blue couch?" It's not an article that tells you. It's written by me. Like, "What the fucking shit is this, man?" "Can somebody explain this to me?" - "I'm so confused." - Yeah. "Please help." Um... Yeah, why am I having so much trouble finding... Well, it's this, but – Yeah, here we go. Here's the image. This is the couch. Why are people so upset? - 'Cause it sucks? - So, let me give you a hint. - OK. - It is not... necessarily about the couch itself. Yeah, though that's an element - in the sort of discourse. - Yeah. I was gonna say, is it like made of clay or something? No, it's more about the... - Hmm. - I feel like I would never guess this. Um, but basically – Is it something to do with the manufacturer? - [ETHAN] No. - So, this is... an expensive couch. It's one of those couches that's like, um, a designer... Like – and, and if you – Like, first of all, couches in general are expensive. - [JORDAN] And rugs. That's the same genre. - Couches and rugs, yeah. And then when you get into designer couches and stuff, you can get into the many thousands of dollars. Cloutches. - Cloutches, in fact, yeah. - Come on, guys. - Like the video, yeah? - This couch is like $8,000. From the, um, manufacturer, or from the original designer. And the controversy or whatever, the reason people are talking about it, is – well, I can show you. [TIKTOKKER] Hi, guys. This is me finding a $8,000 couch in the middle of the street. Here's a quick storytime. It was pouring raining and I was walking home, and I saw this couch in the street, and I called my dad begging him to come pick it up, because I couldn't leave that couch there. He told me no, it was not possible, but then he surprised me and showed me that he did pick up the couch and he had it in his work office. But the couch was really dirty, so he said we had to clean it, so we got the things we needed to clean it: some soap, water, a vacuum. That's my sister using a little machine thing, and I was interested in how it worked, because I think she was doing it wrong. But as you see, that was me scrubbing my life away to make sure this couch gets as clean as possible (inaudible) satisfying right there, very satisfying. And then I got tired, so I let them do all the work. Look how dirty it was. This is the after. We had to let it dry. And we let it dry for a few days, and this is my boyfriend and my dad bringing it into my apartment. We didn't know if it was gonna fit in the elevator, but it ended up fitting perfectly. This is my couch that I had before, and then this is the after, the couch in its full glory, looking really nice. It fit perfectly in my apartment. Uh, this probably is not the thing, but she tells a story like a five-year-old. "And then I was at the, and my couch was in, it was wet, and look how dirty, and it was..." - "I was on Roblox." - I haven't actually seen – I was saving watching this, the original TikTok, for the podcast. But yeah, this has 50 million views on TikTok. - [JORDAN] Oh my god. - 6.4 million likes. So, even after watching that, are you still kind of unsure - of what the controversy is? - I have no idea what the fuck this couch – I'm lost, dude. Uh, well, basically, people are like, "You're insane to pick up this couch." - Yeah. - Everybody's like, "That couch has bedbugs. You're crazy." It is very strange. Also, she's rubbing her foot in the first few – what's that about? She's rubbing her foot on the couch. I didn't notice this because I also hadn't seen the TikTok; I just saw people getting upset about it. I do love how the first thing she says was, "I was walking home in the rain," so it had already been raining. Yeah, it's raining on this couch. And then the other thing people are saying is, "Who," like, there's gotta be a reason somebody is putting a $8,000 couch – Someone might be moving. - Yeah. - They just had to go around the corner. Yeah. And so then – Yeah, it's like they're not – Like, they're trying to load it into a moving truck - and they're like, "Where's my couch?" - "What the heck?" And then – sorry; I'm just remembering some of the memes. I hope I can find some of them. But, uh, yeah, so... People are like, "This could have bedbugs in it." Somebody was like, "This is probably a reproduction - and not an original." - [ETHAN] Yeah. - But – - I highly doubt it's the original couch. That being said, even – There's lots of reproductions of couch styles, and they're still extremely expensive. So, like, a reproduction of this is still $1,000 to $2,000. [JORDAN] Well, that – yeah, I mean, why – Just clean it up. Tidy it up and then sell it, no? Yeah, but the thing – The real issue is, like, people are just like, "You should never take something off the curb and put it in your house because of how difficult it is to get bedbugs out." Oh my god, yeah. And you don't know, like, what's in there. - Um... - This is funny, that, like... again, there's so much nuance to this story that could have been 20 seconds long, and one of the details is "I asked my dad to come pick it up, he said no, - but then he surprised me." - Yeah. "What a fun little surprise from my daddy." - I think that it's – - It's very TikTok. It's very, like, "day in my life"-type TikTok. - There is an update. - I think that it's so funny that people are getting this outraged over it. And, like, of course they are. But, and like... I do agree, where if I saw a couch on the side of the road, - I would not put it in my house - [JARVIS] No. without having it at least be professionally cleaned. Like, I would not trust myself to be able to clean it to the degree where I would feel safe. - Yeah. In fact... - If that's her dad's job or something, - maybe, you know? - Until I've paid, I don't know, $8,000 to get it cleaned, I can't imagine myself picking it up. I have to pay for the price of the couch. Yeah. That's why it's so expensive, is they only get found in the street. - Yeah. - They grow naturally. So, the memes are like this. This one went super viral. "Heard the craziest story last night at a party. Buddy of mine found this $8,000 couch in an abandoned building. Took it home, found out it's haunted. The ghost of a Victorian child would rise off of it every night at 3:00 a.m. and stare at him blankly. He threw the couch on a sidewalk last week." And then another one, I don't know where this is, but somebody was like, "Has anybody seen my couch? I was – it's got tons of cum on it." - It's glow-in-the-dark. - Aw, man. That would be the first thing that I would do, is take a blacklight to the couch and just be like, - "What are we working with here?" - I think my first move - would be running away. - Yeah. I don't – there's a... I think – I don't remember the conversation. Oh, I was chatting to Jakey the other day and he mentioned an anecdote of going to an ice cream place and there was a mattress in the back room, implying that the person working there was maybe sleeping there. And just immediately the thought came to me, which is like, there are like three items that are only good in a bedroom - Yeah. - or at least an apartment, and they are a couch, a mattress, and a baby shoe. If those are ever outside, then something awful has happened. - They should not be in a kitchen. - Yeah. A fucking baby shoe in a kitchen? You know what's funny? Is I searched for the words "seen my couch," - and I actually found the tweet. - Hell yeah. "Has anyone seen my heavily squirted-on couch?" "I put it out on the sidewalk to dry this morning, - To dry! - and now it's gone." God, even touching it to clean it, - I would be unsettled. - Yeah. And they don't put anything over it. Oh, she puts her cushions on it at the end. - So, we gotta watch the update. - Yeah, update. "I died." [TIKTOKKER] Hi, guys. This is a couch update. The first thing I'm going to address is how long was the couch outside. It was outside for less than 24 hours. When I saw it, it was pouring raining. The next day, in the morning, I went to go pick it up. Well, my father went to go pick it up for me. - I'm trying to do this – - Yeah, so that's not good. - That's so long. - How do you know it was 24 – Like, do you – you have to go by that same place every day, I guess is how you know? [TIKTOKKER] This is outside. - (music playing in the distance) - (exclaiming) [TIKTOKKER] Like, are you serious right now? Dude, there are so many sidequests in these videos. So, if I was this woman and maybe she's walking to work or something and she sees that couch that morning and it's like, "Shit, they just put that there, - because I didn't see this yesterday," - Yeah. maybe there's a world where it's like, "OK, I'll come and pick it up later today," or whatever. But if it's pouring rain, it's like, OK, now it's just gonna – my brain – Even if it's not, my brain is just like, - "This couch is infested with mold now." - Yeah. This is just material. This isn't a couch anymore. - Yeah. - And especially not, like, "Well, I'll let it dry." Especially, especially in New York, too, and like the same thing would be here in LA, where it's like the rain falling on the couch is now going through layers of smog and pollution and gross. And, like, - New York streets are kinda gross. - It's nasty. (New York accent) The water's different. - It's nasty, is what I'm saying. - So I found a fucking couch outside, and there was a guy in there. Let's hear her out. She's gonna explain how she determined there weren't bedbugs. [TIKTOKKER] OK, back to what I was saying, it was brought back to my dad's workplace. We cleaned it, and it sat in his workplace for over two weeks. And look, everyone's saying, "Oh, you know, bedbugs form within a week, two weeks." It was sitting there for two weeks. If there was bedbugs, we would have seen it. - For everyone saying – - [JARVIS] OK! OK! - Jesus. - I'm not super familiar with how bedbugs work. Can you see them? Uh, yeah, I think you can. Can you see them inside the couch? - Yeah. - No, right? Like... I talked to Anastasia about this, and she's like, "Bedbugs are one of my fears. I know a lot about them. Uh, this is crazy." And I was like, "OK, cool." Do you guys ever get really afraid 'cause, like, at night you're sleeping on your pillow and you hear a little party happening inside the pillow? - Oh, yeah. - [JARVIS] I think you might have bedbugs. No, I don't have bedbugs. - Does anybody else know...? - [JARVIS] Outgoing bedbugs. I think you might be insane, actually, maybe. - That's probably what it is. - Do they tell you to do stuff? Yeah, they keep telling me to kill my mom, - or set my house on fire. - Not a bedbug, for sure. - Those are chaotic bugs. - At best, it was a dream. Yeah, at best. At best. At worst – actually, you know what? At best, you had an AirPod in and were listening to a really chaotic YouTube video. - Ooh. - You were listening to, like, the opposite of affirmations. - [JORDAN] Destructions. - You were listening to destructions. That's such a funny idea. Every morning, - doing my "get ready with me," - Yeah. - And then it's like, - "Burn your house down." and then I do what is the opposite of an affirmation. "I do my destructions." - Defamations. - Just looking at myself in the – - My defamations. - Negative defamations. "My negative deamations." In that same, like, "just girl things" font. - Yeah. - Yeah. Fucking negative defamations. "You are the salt of the earth. You're a horrible person." - "You are genetically evil." - "You will never be happy or wealthy." "Humanity will melt the globe." OK, I wanna hear what she has to say. She was like, "It's been two weeks!" What was the thing...? Sorry; one bit I got confused about was "bedbugs form within one to two weeks," and she was like, "Yeah, I've had it one to two weeks." It's not like a rule. [JORDAN] Like they're not allowed to hatch. Yeah, they hatch – They hatch on like the 13th day, or the 15th day. - "You have to go. You have to leave." - "You can't stay here." [TIKTOKKER] Only did one round of washing. I only recorded five minutes of the whole process that I took to clean the couch. Like... For everyone saying that the couch was thrown out 'cause of bedbugs or whatever, or whatever species or semen – Sorry. - Anyway, back to what I was saying – - "Species"? - Did she say "species of..."? - "Whatever species or semen." - Yo. - "Oh, dude, this couch is covered in species." Yo, dude. The human species. That's my favorite porn genre. I love species play. [JORDAN] Species, dude. That's so nasty. Why'd I say that? - Oh my god, he's pulling it up. - [TIKTOKKER] We think it was thrown out because it has a lot of rips that I've covered with pillows and it has some stains on the – "Yeah, problem solved, OK?" I love the tone. Like... It's like, I get – I don't know if this person's a big creator, so I don't wanna like... That makes me more worried, that there are rips in the couch, because bedbugs are so tiny. But if there's rips in the couch, other bugs could be crawling around in there. Whatever happened to this couch was so bad - that someone might've thrown away $8,000. - Yeah. Well, this person's like an up-and-coming creator. - Um... - It's QTCinderella. "Oh, we should definitely get rid of this. Just buy the couch." [TIKTOKKER] I don't know if you can tell. It has some stains there and it has like a few tears over there. That's why I think it, personally, was thrown out. Y'all can think whatever y'all want. Everyone still says it looks super dirty, this and that. It's not that it's dirty. It doesn't stink. It doesn't have a odor. - It's clean. It's just the stains... - It's just ugly. Yeah, some people are just criticizing that it sucks. That's so funny. [TIKTOKKER] Literally clean. It's just the stains that are on the couch. - Everyone that's not from New York saying - Wait. Hold on. "There's no food on it." - "It still looks..." I love that so much. She's like... "That's just the stains that are there." "People are saying it's dirty and stained, - but that's just the stains and dirt." - "It's just the stains." - "You idiot." - "Are you stupid?" "It's just ugly." "It's just a bad couch, is what it is." - OK, I wanna hear her final words. - Yeah. [TIKTOKKER] "They threw it out for a reason." It was thrown out in front of a very rich building. So, I took the opportunity and brought it in. Rich people throw out all their furniture all the time, 'cause they get new furniture every other year. So I saw the opportunity and took it. Uh, that's pretty much – Do rich people replace their furniture every other year? Is it like a rule that people know? It's like "bedbugs aren't allowed to hatch before two weeks." Yeah. That's the two – - Those are the two facts. - Those are the rules. [TIKTOKKER] I think I addressed all the topics that a lot of people were commenting. And I could just tell who has bedbugs and who don't. This is how I styled it. Nice, nice. This is the tag, - if anybody wants to tell me it's fake. - Oh. - Is it the one? - Yeah. I remember, it's like... What is it? It's, uh... It's like "Roche DuBois," or something like that. Let's see. "The first cum-free couch." - [JORDAN] "Cum-resistant." - Man... Do you think that her friends are gonna stage, like, an intervention with her? - Oh, bro, please. - Where they're just like, - "We have to talk to you." - What are the comments like? Well, if it's this confrontational, I'm not gonna bring it up. "I'd get it professionally steamed and reupholstered." Well, yeah, but that costs money. I mean, like... I (sighs)... I just think it's so funny. Like, I don't want to sort of make it seem like any hate is going towards this creator or anything like that. Obviously, we're just talking about, like, the whole sort of moment of everybody discussing, like, - "Oh, I would never do that, XYZ." - Yeah. It is an interesting thing to catch on. Yeah, it's such a random thing to catch on, 'cause it's like – because I think that we as a society, especially on social media, decide that a situation – Like, remember when that video went viral of the, uh, girlfriend surprising her boyfriend, - and he wasn't enthusiastic enough, - Oh, yeah. - and then everybody was hyperanalyzing it? - Yeah. It feels like this is one of those situations, where everybody's like, "Enhance!" They wanna, like, really, uh, make it their thing. It is really weird, because in the real world, not on the internet, if I were to see somebody do this, I'd go, - "I wouldn't do that. It's kinda gross." - "Not for me." - "I'm gonna sit on the armchair." - Yeah. Like, "I'll just sit on the other – I'll sit on the floor. Thank you, though." "I'll sit in my apartment and FaceTime you." But this, like, people just get so outraged over nothing. You know what's funny? There's a lot of comments that say, "There's a reason it was left outside." And the way they're saying it makes it sound like it's haunted. They're like, "There's a reason it was left outside." - OK, what's the...? - "Some say the species..." They're all just like, "She doesn't know. Guys, she doesn't know. - You have to tell her." - Also, for the people saying she should have just sold it, I feel like she couldn't adequately disclose - any issues with the couch. - Yeah. Like, the answer would be, "I found it for free." "And it had been rained on, and was thrown out for some unspecified reason." Someone buying that would... I feel like not a lot of people would be willing to take that risk. No. That's a really good point, because it's like, people are willing, obviously, 'cause it happened, to take this couch for free in that condition. No one's going to pay for that. [JARVIS] Yeah. I seriously don't know if I am being overly germophobic. I wouldn't, like, hang out with her anymore. It would prevent – like, we could be engaged. [JORDAN] It's just I'm wrapped. It's a wrap with facts. Um, someone said, "That's the $600 version from AliExpress." I'm also conflicted because I, like... Frugalness, nothing wrong with that. But she did have a couch. - [ETHAN] Yeah. - She leaves it outside. And the cycle continues. Yeah, it's so funny... Yeah, do you think she left her couch on the... on the street? Someone else starts a new video. "I found a $150 couch - on the street." - Oh, fuck. - [JORDAN] I hope so. - "It was raining." "It was fucking –" What was falling from the sky? "It was raining piss." - At the time, yeah. Acid rain. - "It was acid rain, so it has a few burn holes in it. That's fine." - "I gave it a couple months to dry off." - Yeah. "But it's fine. It's not dirty. Those are just the stains." Yeah. That is so bizarre. Damn. That's so funny. I mean, I really like her personality. I think she'll be successful as a creator if she keeps it up. Sorry; the memes of – "Has anyone seen my couch? I dropped my grandma's ashes on it like two weeks ago." - Oh, man. - Shoutouts to her name. Oh, yeah. Uh... Thank you for the education, by the way. In no universe would I have guessed. Yeah. It's just... Oh, gosh. Oh, wait, there we go. We're gonna get all of the topics mixed up, so it's like IShowSpeed finds... Yeah, "IShowSpeed lost his fedora on a couch." - [JORDAN] Spent $125,000. - "IShowSpeed spends $125,000 on a couch that was left outside." - His daddy cleaned it for him. - "No! No!" That's like – that's IShowSpeed reacting to finding out there's bedbugs on the couch. (dramatic yelling) Um, but shoutout to Amanda Joy. Uh, I wish them the best on their content journey. Thank you for generating content for us. - Mmhmm. - [JARVIS] Thank you for generating, um... the, uh – Thank you for generating the Twitter moment of the week. - It is wild that so many people – - It's so random. - What a world we live in. - Um, well... I'm like... Yeah, "Twitter's blue couch saga is dividing the timeline." OK. Uh, well. That about wraps up today's episode of Sad Boyz. Unless you wanna pay money. Whoa. Did you hear what he said? We're gonna be doing a bonus - on Patreon.com/SadBoyz. - On Yelp. On Patreon.com/SadBoyz. Ethan's gonna tell us some secrets. Yeah, I'm gonna tell you all about my bedbugs that I have. - [JORDAN] Oh. - Oh. The ones that tell you - to burn down your house? - Yeah. That's why I had to get rid of CrankGameplays. Someone's gonna find CrankGameplays on the side of the road. CrankGameplays was infested with bedbugs. "I found CrankGameplays out in the street. "It had been raining." "That's just the... That's the AliExpress CrankGameplays." - "He's just stained." - "He's not dirty; he's just stained." Uh, thank you guys so much for having me on. Oh, yeah, dude. Is there anything that you want to shoutout before we get over to the Patreon? Uh... You know... - Uh... - Yeah, I do know. Listen to Brain Leak. Yeah, you can listen to Brain Leak if you want. That's my podcast that I do with Seán, Jacksepticeye. Where'd you get that idea? Yeah. Well, that was the craziest thing, was seeing you guys do your podcast and, like, it's the only one. True. We did sort of – There's a bunch of guys who use, like, SM7Bs, but we're not like those. - No. - It's not really a podcast, you know? Yeah, this is kinda just like a chill time with friends. - It's more of just like an experience. - Mostly just like a side-ass program. That's mostly what we're about. That was my Google Calendar telling me to wrap it up. "Shut the hell up!" Yeah, thank you guys so much for having me. - [JORDAN] Thank you. - You can find me everywhere, no longer as CrankGameplays. But we won't tell you what. - But we won't tell you where. - Yeah. We end every episode of Sad Boyz with a particular phrase: - [JARVIS & JORDAN] We love you. - And we're sorry. - [JARVIS & JORDAN] Boom! - You didn't know about the poop knife? - Why do you know about the poop knife? - What is happening?! Yeah, wait. I've never had a shit that was so monstrous – Need to fight it. You take a shit, and a health bar comes up. This is insane, what I'm about to say. This is not safe for life. You shouldn't know this about me. (deep voice) Sad Boyz: Nightz. (outro music)

Channel: Sad Boyz

Views: 278,371

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Id: q3B6bIIqMZA

Length: 89min 56sec (5396 seconds)

Published: Fri May 26 2023