Texas Takeover on DIYS w/Blaq Ron and BT Kingsley

it doesn't matter who you are or what you have life can be pretty damn hard and without a healthy mind it's even harder check out online therapy with betterhelp.com d-i-y-s and be on your way to a little more ease what up everybody welcome back to another episode i'm to hear more i'm patrick cloud and this is damn internet you're scary we got very special guests in the house ladies and gentlemen a crowd favorite always a winner when he's in the place we got bt kingsley in this [ __ ] right now ladies you gotta make some noise [Applause] [Music] and we also have a special guest in the house ladies and gentlemen texas is on he just celebrated his birthday birthday was on saturday yeah yeah saturday a wonderful 28 years old ladies and gentlemen you saw a special on keep your distance put your hands together welcome back to the show for the first time black is what's going on with texas water though i just heard like a a little baby went to us this split was a splash splash zone splash ground splash something um when are y'all water parks and got like a brain-eating disease and died oh that's because water park water is some of the nastiest water you ever want to get in in texas or just periods like period like they had they go they got this water park and that was called hurricane harvey you just call it wet and wild back in the day next to six flags right right next to six flags so when i was kid most popular attraction in wet and wild was the lazy river it's like three feet of water it moves on its own everybody just explode [ __ ] peeing in there oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you're failing your girl yep all the time oh wow sexually transmitted diseases is mixing in the water i didn't i didn't know about making them fingering and then you got kids you said a molotov with a mouth yeah like it's burning and when they get everywhere the fire gonna spread hey little kids jumping with a mouth open oh my god i've never uh we were on the flight to where were we at this weekend dc and angel was sitting next to this couple it was angel on the window the chick and the guy and angel was like like we were like we had just made it to the to the air he dude was like act like he was going to sleep and just shoved his pants his hand and her pants just started finger-banging her right there on the plane break into the vending machine on the plane what they start finger banging around on the plane that's halfway into the maha club that's not even like a comfortable way like so like somebody's next like right next to angel like didn't carry it they were looking at angels yeah that's the thing shoulder was called [ __ ] the chick and then the dude so the dude was on the out he turned his head like he's laying on her chest to fall asleep and she i guess he had to cover over or a jacket or something he just shoved that hand was she like making noise angel said she was doing a little mowing and she tried to push him away she said that's pretty crazy and then he was just like oh i need this to go to sleep i need this to go baby i need this i need this i need to wrinkle myself he's just laying on her chest he might have been sucking up titties too you got to pay attention that's why i call it breaking in the vending machine because you gotta torch your hand and wrist in such an odd fashion so that's not that doesn't even seem like a fun place to do all that bt is dark can we is there any way to lighten him up just a little bit he moves i've been trying all my life never working what if we turn this dark lights on right here because y'all like skin y'all don't understand the story of my life man yeah i want people to see you this show was backlit for only light-skinned people that's not what it is all the shows are backlit for life-skinned people it's not just it's hollywood not on a plane on the train on the bus i'm done in the train i've done it on a bus like but not on a school bus like like one of those i know amtrak with a dinner car and a sleeper because i'm talking about like a subway uh i would rather do it on the amtrak amtrak you got more space like those the chairs on the subway they face each other who rides trains though [Laughter] i get my newspaper he still called him hoes locomotive oh yeah me and the mrs we take us a locomotive ride we did though what you have to eat um i got they had like a a fake chacootery board type thing so i had like the meat well i brought it with me i had the little meat and cheese you brought a charcuterie board on the train but yeah so um you brought in a briefcase [Laughter] [Laughter] [Music] a yearly subscription to boomerang just for time in jail yeah i love tom and jerry oh also that was the smoothest intro i've seen on damn internet you scared in a while my boy you was one take jake on that entry listen we've kind of we kind of got it down to a size because that's not really the intro that's just the opening the intro is when we do the song which we're about to do in a minute uh some of the this is all cool this is all cold open right here cause we wait for the uh see more mob i mean the scary squad they're they're watching live now they get to watch it early if you want to watch it early and be in on this you have to sign up for our patreon but they they put in suggestions for what type of song we're going to do for the intro because the intro song is always different so as soon as they start throwing those in there we see enough of them then we're going to pull something from there and we're going to do the intro song and uh but yeah all of this is just a cold oval right here i bet somebody said something like black run here up here with no glitches no glitches during the day 5g working great at night time every little [ __ ] in the apartment complex big corner big three models that's because uh y'all all sharing the same internet you didn't have your own internet service you was using the complex internet service no i had my own wi-fi and everything but we all under the same service area under the same stuff okay yeah okay give me one second cause everybody's saying that it's super blurry cam the camera's gonna come in crisp but do we need to uh um possibly send another link because i'm looking at it right now it's telling blurry on my side too i thought it was just the internet see somebody just said black run striking again y'all yeah i don't i don't know i mean long as the cameras aren't blurry then again all right so uh huh we're gonna restart the stream guys i feel like that might be the best thing to do because i it got a little bit better but it's still kind of blurry right now so we're going to restart the the stream uh we're going to have ron sit out when we started to see if that helps we don't want the streaming guys to think that we're being disrespectful by having him here we're gonna we'll come back and run gonna have on a full hat [Laughter] science is a good movie yeah let's go ahead and and i'm gonna put it right back and let's try to go right back there and while we do that we're going we're going to jump into uh just a little more chatter so we can keep it going and then we do the song before we do this it seems like everything on the internet is kind of man crashing today like like the stream instagram and facebook are just they had a hiccup this morning i don't know what's happening i was on a plane and everything was working great and then all of a sudden like instagram stopped working i was like oh all right well i guess you know but everything else is working great on your night i was like it was your phone i thought it was my phone because i've had nothing but little small glitches little minor annoyances with this new phone i got the the 13 and ever since i got it oh really the spotify wasn't working oh no i don't want to overtalk [ __ ] like it's minor [ __ ] you got the brandest of new iphones and that host that's great i would think about going to get that [ __ ] today i'm gonna keep keep telling me no it's still gonna need three updates but the camera is working the camera is because the cameras are made by samsung oh really oh shut up i don't want to hit it look that [ __ ] up oh yeah i'm going to look it up the cam's shaking his head no if cam said no then it looks like that it's true the the iphone cameras are made by samsung the screens on the iphones are better for looking at pictures on the iphone but technically if you took them both the images out there a news website or something the pictures all come in underneath y'all both got androids no i got iphone i actually have both but but i but every time i go to go get my phone they'd be like no the camera technically is better but all your phone images that has four cameras on the [ __ ] it's got three front facing cameras and then a selfie camera on that [ __ ] and it's got the light the motion detector the white balance it's got all that [ __ ] it's like you basically shoot a movie with it and then lg has a phone they got one of the phones like this and the [ __ ] can go in the gimbal mode yeah and the whole phone swings and [ __ ] and then it's got a safety feature so if you drop it all the lens is full automatically like a robot sony makes the cameras somebody makes the sensor in the iphones sony makes the sensor yes but look at who makes the lenses baby is it the lens or the camera itself it's a combination all that but the but the iphone the iphone screen just makes the images look way better so when you be looking at options you're not gonna just put that all on the screen bt it's this os bro that's nice pixelated too yeah this one does too i don't know i don't know what to say the screen renders a better uh view they got that it's backlit your glass is backlit to render a better view i'll tell you what's good i'm about sick of this [ __ ] keep cutting off i know that i'm sick of iphones just doing whatever the [ __ ] they i feel like there's going to be some like great migration away from apple at some point it needs to be everything like more people at once it's like one people like like people do it like one at a time and then they like i advertise it like i'm leaving and then like nothing really happens because everybody still like has the group think that apple is better and like if you're android but like they literally admitted to us like when we have a new phone we make it we slow down all the other phones and everybody was just like all right vacations and that's because they're in when they create it in beta phase they're created for apple yes so the android is always the watered-down version of the app even if it's up to date that's why our version is always one version behind the apple but it's also the what's the protection like i got a i'm pretty sure i got a virus on my phone right now but it's just in my calendar like it can't get the [ __ ] out what so like i don't know uh that's very hard to do you could have a virus within one app what no virus is a target it'll target specific things yeah right see the thing about androids is because they are protected by google it's hard to get a virus to really latch onto your android phone only way to do it is by downloading porn onto your phone that's what calendar why is it on the slant i don't know it's been doing this for the past three or four days oh that's crazy was clear porn history one of your things on yeah [Music] uh ariana night i see you baby girl are we still that generation deny yeah i don't know like i i feel like people deny the consumption of porn i don't think people could deny it like that anymore i think i think a lot more people just choose not to talk about what the fetishes are but i don't think they deny it i mean ain't nobody asking you to open up your niches but like you know like porn yes and people be like no no i don't know why because like sex is so regular like sex is for the most part part of i would say a majority of the people's lives you know other than like people of the cloth they you know took a vow of happiness or something like that yeah i mean everybody for the most part is engaging and fellas right now if you want to take your sex life to the next level okay i suggest you look into bluetooth okay bluetooth is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as viagra and cialis but in a chewable tablet and at a fraction of the cost and one of the great things about it is you can take it any time day or night so you can plan ahead and always be ready when the opportunity arises process super simple we've been through this a lot of times you go online you fill out the survey uh you submit those answers and then you'll get a response email by one of the licensed physicians that ask you a couple more questions and then you will receive your first month of bluetooth straight to your door in a discreet package you don't have to worry about anything anybody in all in your business that's what i absolutely 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free all you have to do is just pay five dollars for shipping visit bluetooth.com for more details and important safety information we thank bluetooth for being a sponsor for this podcast and we're thanking them for hooking us up man listening that blue truth [ __ ] yours funny is if you get you got a month free you get a free month if you get a free month you're not going to stop oh you that's why i didn't because i'm talking about 30 days i don't know your girl be like i don't know what's gotten into you right and then then you go back to normal you can't do that nobody else caught it so he said he's a firm believer i appreciate you catching it right sometimes i want to bring attention to it because then it looks like i'm doing too much so you know i appreciate that if you want your boo to come through get on the internet and order some blue chews yeah of course okay jingle action listen man we we're actually about almost 20 minutes in and we have not done the jingo i mean the intro yes so but i haven't seen anything because we had to um restart the stream but we are back now and it's looking better on my end i hope it's looking better on y'all end but we're gonna go ahead and just oh yeah let's pick something for this uh intro any suggestions pat um i really like the chop to school thing that we did last week that was a lot of fun what's somebody's name michael jackson intro oh okay we also got curtis mayfield i like the curtis mayfield i think we should just go with that just because we we we are not short on time but we are already kind of in the thick of it right now okay so i'm gonna just go with what i did i did the i'll do the beat this time yeah you do the beat this time so basically uh you guys jump in you throw and if you want to throw in a version you can throw in a version you want to do ad-libs going to add lives uh i wasn't going to go [Music] put your man i was going to kind of go off and push it okay but i mean by all means did what you you know that's your man by the way huh that was not pushing man by the way i'm your mama i'm your dad yeah i know i know what song you want to sing but that beat you was playing was that what people had you were playing uh i'm trying to think of the others damn you mad as [ __ ] yeah anyway anyway we're gonna uh we rhyme uh internet you scary with cautionary binary hairy mary larry whatever whatever you can rhyme with we just kind of that your last boy has to kind of rhyme in and that's scary okay something else i'm glad you're exploring something else that you're scared yeah all right so we're going to get it going pat's going to give us a beat and then i'll take it off and if y'all want to jump in y'all can jump in if you're going to do ad-libs do ad-libs but this is it here we go all right i'm going to do a little child running wild instead okay we haven't heard in a while though all right [Music] [Music] [Music] boom [Music] i just cleaned the damn house these kids it's running wild sit your ass down that ain't even my child what you doing here [Music] what you [Music] all damn nights [Music] [Music] all right now i gotta wait you can't be afraid of the horns rehearsal intimidated by the hordes he was like okay i'll go but i did it oh man i kept thinking listen again i was like man i wonder if this is a song that here was doing that black run said he was doing i kept going my brain was everywhere but i was having a good time i was like oh so the kid ain't his oh man shout out to a couple of people that pulled up this weekend um we were in dc and i did i didn't prompt to meet up with uh more mom noise and uh but a couple people come out uh shout out to my boy dj clean because he hit me up with his homeboy jay who owns two restaurants out there one of the spots is called artemis other spots called the library um so he opened up early for us we drank we ate good we took pictures we we had a good time man so sherry's in here that's what made me think about sherry barnes pulled up sherry came from like an hour away what she came for like an hour away had a good great job queer queen the village auntie she pulled up nico pulled up uh we had we had a couple people pull up man it was a great time thank you everybody that did pull up josh was there we were taking pictures you know she got a good time yeah that's fantastic man dc did y'all get mumbo sauce you know what we didn't [Music] i'm not a fan of ben's chili i'm from texas so you know i can i can fully understand that yeah i went and i was like okay historical what uncle being silly chili bowl you can't call it uncle ben a ben silly [Laughter] yeah we had been a couple weeks ago i mean a couple months a couple years ago damn i went through all the time we did it yeah which tells me he'd be a lot of that he was scrolling his ears wow every time i've seen ben's chili bowl when they scoop it i'd be like you ain't supposed to be able to get chilly texas changes your yeah it changes your palate for most things i was having a full argument with somebody about barbecue the other day they were like yo they got the barbecue out here i was like cause you know what it was it was based on the some show i was doing with you guys and we was having a conversation about fried chicken or smoked chicken and i was like i don't believe i still don't believe i picked smoked that was a uh squawk ass okay yeah i still don't believe chicken all the way yeah but i wouldn't know but in my heart it's fried chicken but dog [ __ ] if you gave me smoked wings of fries we gotta go so i was like and it was like yeah this is a place in l.a you know they got a barbecue all right but do they know come on don't do that i'm like a couple places in l.a that that has a shout out today i think that's what they said i think they said phil's is fire city boy barbecue is a straight one is that the one that's one of our agreements that they do at the house uh i think so yeah my best friends that's my best friend like elementary school that's his cousin his younger cousin but i didn't know chicago was known for their barbecue too they're not chicago has solid do barbies midwest is a barbecue it's a different type of i knew you were about to say limbs i knew that you were saying [Music] what's wrong with your mouth first of all don't do that because st louis has his own style of any city that has his own style of barbecue you can't come for us bro no somebody else i don't know because y'all got your own city north carolina yeah you know there's genuine places like you you don't argue with their style because some people some places are ketchup based some a vinegar base what's the best it all depends on your palette like if you're talking pork then north carolina gonna win because that's where pork comfortable that brisket though we talking texas barbecue baby it's like brilliant yeah long and slow over time and don't need no sauce yeah so like when you say this barbecue slap if you're not from where barbecue slab yeah you can't really make that decision i was just told that you can't slap i hate that so like we grew up with the mexican culture so like when you be like this taco truck smack it better be it better be colder than this because because in but in texas it's tex-mex so it's it's a dip you get authentic mexican out here and if i take you to this before you leave i'm gonna take you to the taco truck oh no we got some uh reuben's on it's like santa monica and supposedly tacos yeah you got to go to east l.a though like my like my partner say back home he's like i love the tacos they drip they dip in the transmission fluid i was like it's fire there's a there's a hat oh my god they're fried tacos and it's mainly like shredded meat and cheese yeah they fry the whole thing and then they give you this like and you basically it's like it's like basically like a french dip but for tacos it's so good when black people make tacos yeah the red grease dripping all down your wrists and all that that's the best part of video tacos is the red grease if you don't get your taco in the red grease they don't even have all the seasonings traditionally tacos two tortillas onion cilantro meat cheese if you ask for it listen and then but i know i mean the muffins they this little like fuel city yeah [Applause] maybe american tacos that have like sour cream and lettuce and all those things but the authentic ones burritos i'm talking about three street street tacos you gotta knock out at least five six right get your whole ass on yeah i do do sour cream and cheese though i'm still the sour cream i mean that's the black taco that's how we all grow to a certain place but the street tacos i'll never ask for cheese i don't ever have something you don't need to get the mexican sour cream the crema i don't care what they got back there i i don't care what they got burgers as long as uh sour cream cheese okay but i get it but but they're good without it though everybody has that you got your your regiment or you got your routine that you got like when i go to the gym which isn't often but when i do go i got to have my music i ain't got my music i'm gonna turn around i'm not even gonna go to the gym and when i'm listening to my music i gotta be listening to it on my rate cards okay there's so much going on in the world right now with all this other stuff happening all around us that's the one thing i can always depend on uh is my music my playlist my raycon all right raycon wireless earbuds i throw them in my ears i have an amazing day y'all know me i'm big on making playlists i just created a playlist i got hit with a crazy bout of insomnia on on saturday night so i just stayed up and made it hilarious and everybody's rocking with that playlist right now shout out to everybody that downloaded it but i have to listen to it on raycon's because it lets me know you know if the songs are in the right right place when it comes to placement and everything like that so i just want i want the vibes man i got to have the vibes right no matter what i'm doing if i'm at the gym if i'm at the crib uh we got family in town right now so obviously i can't just play my music as loud as i want to so with that being said throw the raycon's on and i've still got it and the raycons are dope because um first of all they have an improved rubber oil look which feels and amazing they have optimized gel tips for the perfect in-ear fit um they are you get the quality sound at half the price of the other premium brands you cannot go wrong with this there's also an all-new awareness mode so if you need to listen while you're you're on the streets and you're walking and you're outside you can still hear your surroundings raycons offer eight hours of playtime and a 32-hour battery life do you understand me battery life there's also a built-in mic so you can take cars and get earbuds at the press of a button and raycons as i said start at half the prices of the premium audio brands but they sound just as good and unlike the other premium brands raycons come with a 45-day happiness guarantee so if you don't like them for any point 45 days you can return them for a full refund all right so right now i want you guys that are listening at home let's be honest man once september hits it's downhill from there all right it's already october don't wait till last minute to start getting these christmas gifts this is a perfect stocking stuffer to get right now stuffing with them raised stuffing with the raise our listeners diy as this can get 15 off their recon order at byraycon.com says d-i-y-s that's by raycon dot com slash d-i-y-s and say fifteen percent on your raycons that's by raycon.com d-i-y-s get that in your life go check out my new music while you're on there all right [Laughter] good little transition put the raycons in and bump that bt bt i was pleasantly surprised bro like it was some real sanging on that project i was like hold on you watch it who who did bt hire to sing for him that's uh that's brendan's brother symmetry yep the one that always came to the show he had the backpack on the front here and his wife set up front and everybody was like you like all the good eyes yeah yeah yeah yeah he got an amazing one he would be he would have them everything he did the uh songs for the sensual dance challenge the the uh challenge show on camera people get new improv no not not the improv show the challenge show that me uh angel tony baker and kev dude that's available on the kept on stage yeah so be sure you know right now but yeah he did the music for that so brandon didn't get none of the good dna you know what it was who just said he didn't get the height that he had he looks the voice oh this is a twin he was the second twin the first twin always gets oh yeah he's pretty cool he's singing his brother [Music] [Laughter] is taller than him got it got a head full of locks like patrick like they got the same hairstyle yeah well it's not a handful of locks he got he got a shave and then i think uh he has like a part of locks but he has his head but the top of it got locked yeah and then he got all kind of mystical tattoos like here everybody mystical and then he'd be wearing tapestries and stuff tapestries his girlfriend respectfully his wife oh you wouldn't know it but yeah they they got a girlfriend boyfriend energy some of the coolest people even ever like when we invite them all me and friend invite them over like regularly they always come bearing gifts and baron gifts is just like a bottle of wine for us to share it ain't nothing crazy you know i'm saying but like just super chill good energy man like i'm i'm i'm blessed to know them and have them in my life because they are super chill super chill super chill stop being such a good ass guy bro listen take a break birthday was saturday i'm i'm very upset i'm upset that my car stopped on the side of the road i just got another old school but i'm more upset that i didn't have time to stop and get a bottle for his birthday that's really eating me up right now because i told him so i'm just gonna have to give him the money or we can leave together and i can we just gotta go shoot some pool and talk some [ __ ] man okay we can do that it's my daughter's birthday so i'm booked all night hey man every kid always comes first hey and then it was mine we gotta shoot three episodes of more to the story after i leave here i mean after after we're done here like that's how i know you and your wife love this for real because y'all got arshad and edith swag you know what i'm saying like y'all got james in florida swag like y'all got old married couple sweaters y'all still young yeah but then like i just to find out wait did you just say brennan brother named symphony no symmetry [Music] both of them and the dad are [ __ ] dope at table tennis like we gotta like we call the ping pong in the negro community table tennis i say table tennis cause i played tennis different sports table tennis and ping pong you have the same rules exactly the same exact same thing those different tables exactly [Applause] the tennis ball with the cape oh you talking about that bad man that's badminton tennis and that's with the little skinny rackets right yeah yeah that's that's so right it's mixed together his back is back tennis no bad badminton badminton no it's a good man bad man not no no no little mittens no i'm not admitting men tonight am i listening we haven't got man [ __ ] books [Laughter] one topic so we're gonna let pat get the flow so we can bring up one topic even though we get pat gets his topics from instagram and instagram is down right now i don't know ig is back guys [Applause] so i don't i don't know what happened i mean he says happy birthday oh happy birthday man um one thing that was weird about it crashing in the first place isn't the first story but um someone whistleblew uh facebook yesterday cam and brennan just showed me before you guys got here it's basically like this lady went on what was it 60 minutes yeah she went on 60 minutes and basically had all this paperwork that she recorded and she used to work for facebook and yeah they they basically um she pulled eric snowden they basically found she basically told everybody that like the negative posts that are like like like racist or just like make people upset like the algorithm points you more towards those as opposed to positive which keeps people in a negative space which makes sense because like negative stuff goes viral and positive stuff yeah it's like oh that's nice yeah i don't know is that the algorithm or is that you can see that it's the actual it's absolutely basic yeah if it's a negative poster it makes you feel mad they promote that over that so you stay on the app to complain about it you're upset about it so you stay within stay on the app you scroll right past some [ __ ] that make you smile but some [ __ ] that piss you off like you gotta you gotta gotta say this grab these shirts these are you can't block your haters that's crazy buying something they're all about yes let me tell you this let me tell you this i was recently shadow band i don't even know why because i don't even post like no crazy [ __ ] like that but during the shadow band during that time i realized that my my promotional ads my promotional videos like for my website for shirts and stuff like that my regular video gets like like 40 000 views right that's that's minimum um my ads that i was doing for myself like without paying instagram or something like that two thousand three thousand views right because they don't like if you have certain words in there or they like do your audio they they can find those words yeah they will not put it in an algorithm because they want you to pay for the ads no no not state they want you to pay for the ads because you know you can promote stuff so if you can promote it you have to pay for the promotes on instagram and for the ads on facebook so if you don't do it through them it does not matter oh my god i was like what the [ __ ] is happening right now anything that's driving attention away from the site so you say hey come over and check out my other you probably can't say lincoln bio no no because lincoln literally means go somewhere else just turned on on your live and you mention your cash app if you mention your website if you mention any other way for you to receive money outside of instagram badges they will strike your monetization and they will they will pause you for a day or three this was a couple months ago first i got i got hit on facebook for something old and this was like when it was started making like its peak money so i was just like okay fine and then a week later youtube did the same thing so it was just like it was just like double bed they hit me uh the silhouette challenge you did it you did the silhouette i did it because remember he did the biscuits the can of biscuits so he had him way out there yeah and it's crazy because did you just just having like a birthday bread [ __ ] you they probably just man but people are still doing i saw i saw a silhouette challenge as recent as maybe like a week and a half ago people are still doing it but they hit me with it and it's something i did like last year or earlier this year whoever's still doing it should just be kicked off the cause if you're that late to a train like that you might start doing everything standing next you're gonna do shout outs oh people come through four months later like y'all been asking like who ah now that song is dead [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] since they like was [ __ ] with me for vince drake with josh i was like [ __ ] i'm watching people play music so i know that this is okay august all right for [ __ ] that we was doing may 2020 for the because they let certain people do it i was like first of all it takes a while to catch up that mate got me bust dj cassidy's ass i was like no snitching no snitching but my boy nate jackson had twerk circus and then it was going it was going up it was pre uh who else had had him going why michael blackson came before did they take joy did they take him down no he didn't he just died he got out he got it going on he got away with it no for sure all of a sudden people start having ig after dogs and whatnot none of that [ __ ] got taken down i'd been telling you guys socially incendiary [ __ ] politically conscious [ __ ] on or playing some music in the background and they like [ __ ] didn't we tell you that's crazy yeah and they blamed it on the music they put me in ig jail bro how long for either 30 or 45 days are you i was serious yeah i was like the whole summer i was in igg so you can use five oh yeah what if i'm still in fact making any long video posts on my page my [ __ ] it's funny because the apps start acting up like we don't know what the [ __ ] is going on because i was doing vdj for like how long and all of a sudden like the shit'll just start glitching i'm like [ __ ] is it glitching like why are my comments four minutes behind i was like oh these [ __ ] are dressed i didn't like when you were like like totally whatever would jump in and the numbers would jump and then like they stayed there like okay we got 100 people in here and i was like what if i could say 12 people i knew today i'd start that [ __ ] over like all you [ __ ] are oh yeah oh they were bad i had the midnight oil show going midnight royal which was great by the way i love midnight midnight oil is a you guys got some great names for this i mean we was talking about anything and everything and nothing at the same time yeah but you know what one of the greatest things about that is that you you just gave people something to do during that time you gave people some a place to get an outlet for which is one of the best things that you can have during that that crazy time especially like with the holidays coming up again right now this is when people really get sad especially if you move to l.a you ain't got family here this is where you really get yeah this is when they need it yeah and if you are one of those people i suggest you guys looking to better help okay because better help is one of the places where you can go and you can talk to an unbiased uh professional therapist and you can just express everything that you're going through which is why i do it because i realized that i needed somebody i could talk to that wasn't gonna first of all didn't know me you know what i'm saying because when people know you and we're in the public eye we feel some type of way about being completely transparent because we were always wondering what what people don't say how they're gonna judge us how they're gonna feel if this is gonna get out that type of stuff so the fact that it's professional counseling uh that professional therapy done online um securely already put me at ease right there um and the fact that i was able to start communicating with a therapist in under 48 hours was amazing now for those that are interested in this and listening to me i'm like oh man i want to check it out let me be very clear about this better help is not a crisis line that's not a self-help line it is professional therapy done securely online with a broad range of expertise which may not be locally available in many areas um the service is available for clients worldwide so it doesn't matter where you are you'll be in texas to be in la you be in new york it doesn't matter you can hop online and send a message to your therapist and you will get a timely and thoughtful response plus you can schedule weekly video or phone sessions so you won't ever have to leave uh the comfort of your home it's in an uncomfortable waiting room as with traditional offline therapy and better help is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change therapists if needed which is huge and i've always talked about this because i was one of those people who's like learning therapy or do nothing talking about your problems don't do anything but verbalizing what you're going through what you're thinking what you're constantly suppressing in your head does make a difference to get it out verbally and have somebody just listen to you and let me be also clear about this like therapists cannot legally tell you what to do they ask probing questions to make you think about your actions or the things that you went through that may be causing some type of trouble so i absolutely love better help i encourage all the guys that are listening right now try it out man try it out because right now we're gonna hit you guys up with 10 off your first month when you go to betterhelp.com that's d-i-y-s it is worth it if you could spend probably in a month uh a hundred to two hundred dollars on fast food and eating now you can do this this is investing in your self-help like yours the well-being of your mental state and your emotional state with everything going on from last year and this year you owe it to yourself to make sure you're in a good space so go to betterhelp.com d-i-y-s and get 10 off your first month and i encourage you guys to go to betterhelp.com reviews and read the views that they post they post daily reviews see what people are really saying i want you to i want you to read about it first before you make this commitment but once you're ready to make the commitment go to betterhelp.com diys and get 10 percent off your first month hold on so you're saying you can do reviews and research the whole company you can get a doctor for 10 percent off yeah if that doctor don't work they'll give you a different doctor they don't charge you and you'll still be able to get that new doctor within 48 hours that's why it's better help and no matter where you live in the country you can connect with no matter where you are in the world yes if you sign up here in the united states and you have to take a trip to china or the uk or wherever they're actually allowing america's at right now you can sign we're talking about therapy on demand yes for real better low and it don't got to be low and we'll swap it out for the free you before you had absolutely you had to find the perfect person within a cool drive right there that also was under your umbrella of insurance your providers covered yes and all of that so we're talking about no insurance necessary no discount on the sign up you heard right swap out for the low ski connect anywhere in the world that should be the slogan you just set the slogan that's fantastic you heard right better help man this help but it's better hey it's way better it's not we're supposed to be doing songs for everything we forgot if you need some better help better better help y'all sign up for better help when the metaphor on the last one is no metaphor you need some help to get another one blue blue [Laughter] all right two funny two funny things i want to ask you guys all right hey um this is a cool little question because black people have our own gas up like no you could even see in other cultures like when when a group of black people gassed them up it's just like whoa so what's y'all like gas up because everybody has a different one uh everybody has like all black people have their different versions of gas up i feel like mine is okay um just saying okay like okay hat okay dress yeah you know i mean okay hoodie um but what's y'alls like what's your version of gas i know for one if if uh like you see somebody dancing for sure i go to a bee you're like ah hit him yes beat the rhythmic commentary rhythmic character dancing is different all you need to hit is an a oh yeah today's a was the 90s go ahead go ahead go ahead go ahead [Laughter] i see you with the new shirt i see that's why i like it you know what it was in the 70s that's one stone cold spot that's one bad mother i'm just talking about what they're doing it's funny because i'm just trying to cast them up i'm thinking of what i'm putting down baby i buried it deep so you can do it it's so simple though our gas up is literally just like i see you like i'm looking at you okay you're doing what you're doing oh somebody could i see you from across the street your strut gonna change yeah i see you oh my uh now if you're talking about just conversationally gas up mine is uh this my role model like that that's this is my role model or i'll put a book on you yeah i just read this book and [ __ ] yeah that's my role model oh that's about it that's the official guess oh like back in the day or well if i had your hand i couldn't cut mine off if i had your hand i'd cut mine off in other words your hands are so blessed everything that you touch turns to gold if i had your hand i'd cut mine off okay this is actually it's a big deal for me why like why did the west coast we have no phrases that's cause y'all didn't have no uncles or was it because slavery wasn't here a little bit slavery was most definitely in california i don't know who told you it wasn't whoa you know what's crazy though you said they don't have no uncles one of my biggest complaints about l.a is feeling like i don't have i don't have the uncle figures here to gain knowledge from you have an uncle figure oh who you no he's said you yourself your body oh you had no uncle figures like okay we go to the barber shop back where we from and hang out soak up games you don't get that thing you don't get that here right like like here you have barber salons what the [ __ ] is that come on one second real quick though [Laughter] i'm gonna go ahead and create a problem my favorite hoodie i want everybody to get the [ __ ] shirt that's one of my favorites i'm saying so much i had to make a shirt for [ __ ] so it's one of my favorite hoodies [ __ ] you fantasy fck you and impact like all in line like that because this [ __ ] said no you got an uncle figure [ __ ] you man but now for real y'all don't have like a lot of casters grew up out here like your daddy was the only [ __ ] who worked where he worked did what he did out your whole family like you didn't have those ancillary father figures like we have down south where like all your mama's brothers oh come over for like la la like like l.a l.a it's out west like arizona nobody you guys have like millions of phrases and we have none well yeah dude we got some though y'all like family nah they got they got something i think a lot of them just kind of gang related or music related yeah and uh and the bay in the bay is different so it's definitely not a west coast thing oh yeah all of y'all's lingo is definitely gang-related yeah not lingo i'm just talking about like man if i was a cricket i'd be a rabbit in the bushes that's what i'm saying like y'all got sayings [Laughter] greetings just happen to have a tinge of gang activity in them i tend to i mean i guess our phrases was like you know don't go past it it's more of a warning like monk it's initiation season gun season well you know what i mean i think it's dope though i think you can go everywhere and find out different lingo and just really connect with that culture it's one of the great things about babble babble offends 15 minute lessons to make it the perfect way to learn a new language on the go gotta learn other language learning apps use ai which are artificial intelligence for the lesson plans but babel lessons were created by over 100 language experts their teaching methods have been scientifically proven to be effective um with babble you get to choose from 14 different languages including spanish french italian and german their teaching method has been uh proven man time and time again battle speech recognition technology helps you improve your pronunciation and your access so it's not just learning like the words it's actually learning the dialect because yeah that that really makes a difference like when you're trying i will say that even though like in paris i learned that the parisians don't really respect you if you don't even try to speak the language if you're trying and you're trying to put the dialect on it they they show you so much love um there are so many ways to learn with babble in addition to lessons you can also access podcasts games videos stories and even live classes so i encourage you guys if you want to do something for the holidays you know some people try to lose weight some people try to pick up a new hobby try to do a new language you know what i'm saying right now when you purchase a three-month subscription of babel you'll get an additional three months for free that's six months for the price of three yes that's half off half off baby wow actually kind of fired three months for the price i'm six months for the product semester just go to battle.com and use the promo code d-i-y-s that's b-a-b-b-e-l-dot-com and use the promo code d-i-y-s and you will get six months for the price of three three months plus an additional free three months uh and you can learn a new language this is the perfect time to do it during the holidays everybody's kind of low-key and everything you holding all your good outfits for the special days you're holding up for january this is where you can come back in january just kind of blast them like yo you know you didn't know i speak italian this is the perfect time to do it so again go to babble.com uh i'm sorry barbara.com uh and use the promo code d-i-y-s and you will get three months for the price of i'm sorry six months for the price of three just go to battle.com and use the problem called d-i-y-s and show people what you could do do something different with you they'll do spanish on your linguistics they don't do spanish spanish french italian and german spanish french and german and then ten other languages and the song or goes a little something like d okay okay uh hey battle babble culture yourself i won't tattle tattle culture yourself uno dos tres cuatro cinco city yeah [Applause] [Laughter] all right now we got music throughout the whole show two years later trying to play catch up for the uh three fumbles at the beginning yeah if y'all could learn another language what would it be somebody in the chat said they should learn tahira and ease ah that's the thing well that's just the thing now sherry so here it is i thought we were friends to hearing this that's real 5000 was a black man who had a a massive youtube father when he basically spoke like a hundred different languages he was a black dude he used to like [ __ ] people up walking around going to places where those people where their communities had a big demographic so like he'll just go into a convenience store that somalian people just happen to frequent and just start busting out speakers and they always think they're being made fun of it right and then they're like oh you really didn't really speak to you he'd be like i talked youtube like like he spoke every version of chinese like eight versions yeah he died bro had a sudden heart attack out of nowhere leo shoot five thousand saw clips i didn't know who he was moses was his real name i saw some compilations and i thought that it was not only really really cool but really really sad that like like a lot of the people he went up to assume they were being bullied and they're just they're just like they're just like no i'm sorry i'm sorry and then they were just like oh you you're you're you're speaking and it's cool because it's like these are all immigrants who come from that place and somehow learned english i don't understand taught me like that everybody that might look the same like they might have the same optics there are different subculture sub-regions within each one of those areas of the world bro like we might say a person is chinese but within the chinese language just eight different versions of chinese exactly but you think because we're prejudiced you think that there's a version of that like then you see a [ __ ] and he speaks fluent spanish and you're like wait wait wait hang on textbook no you know rosetta stone spanish like i grew up in mexico yeah my sister's like that my sister uh she she lives in japan now well but honestly both my sister liked that she was in london at one point that's my other stuff man why is talking his sister [Laughter] no she's not bt she's actually another she's an artist i have a special set of skills no one's one's in paris that one's in london i'm one of hilarious now i think that she in london one's a boys in london one's in sitting in underpants no it wasn't paris the ones in japan and she was like she lives in like the countryside she don't live in like you know like tokyo or some [ __ ] like in japan that's probably better yeah quite beautiful and when she comes to places like they initially don't know what's going on and then she speaks the language and like they'll be talking sometimes about her and then she'll be like y'all know what i know i know what y'all saying right oh that's the only reason i want to know that's why i want to like i speak hood spanish in other words i know when you talking about me i can understand it more than i can i want to know that so bad but it's because i grew up where you will hear every version of [ __ ] in every other language ooh that's fire so they be saying it they got like five different versions of saying [ __ ] in space what for variety like today i'm gonna bust out this one no because it all depends on how dark you are wow how big of a [ __ ] you are specific types yeah they have sub [ __ ] so in other words they might say they might say yanta which in spanish means tire actually but they it's a word extremely black ass [ __ ] oh it's like me right now on the screen that's uh okay so you know right now yeah that's more offensive than anything i would be a yantha okay cause i'm really really dark yes bt would be a chungo which is spanish for gorilla oh i'd pinching means [ __ ] oh [ __ ] pinch my yacht is like [ __ ] [ __ ] oh i've heard that yeah i have heard that i saw it it's a roach yeah and then to hear you be a negrito that's the nicest one that sounds like a dish that's a little [ __ ] oh they got that wrong then i like ours no i'm tired i need to i need oh this is all by complexion yeah like you can look at him be like oh he got a little [ __ ] in him oh like little like a mountain yeah all four of those are more offensive than the white people umbrella [ __ ] right all right that's why it's [ __ ] that bad for white [ __ ] right it is but i mean compared to other [ __ ] like if if if a white dude called you a [ __ ] you'd be offended but if he called you oh he called you something spicy like you think about oh you meant that but think about it in slavery and just like the jim crow there was like a thousand slurs for us [ __ ] was just the one that blew up yeah and i was like what the what a long lip i thought they were big long that sounds like long lips that's not like how native americans be talking hey white people got some spicy ways of calling you baby i mean there's you know what's so hard about [ __ ] because we use both the term steel like in the south you dancing real good you jigging yeah what what's a girl that you really care about boo so if you're black i don't think those are connections [ __ ] sierra the [ __ ] yeah did y'all know the twerking dance for jigglypuff meg the stallion's the [ __ ] only black person and they had to go in and read and give him the name oliver because he was like he they're going to ask what's his first name it can't be spirit chuckle wow so i'm glad i'm glad i turned off when i saw that damn helicopter and master's trash anyways people don't say what yeah that's that's texas we say chunk and stuff yeah i got y'all you chunking rocks yeah you're chunking rocks oh yeah your hands are throwing hands that's definitely that's very very texas right chunking rocks well like oh i'm gonna chuck that over there like no chuck is a person john's damn chucka jones but yeah i know like [ __ ] just blew a spear nobody in the negro community no that's like africa well that's not right they're saying like you're an african spear chucker right so that means that we got to come up with like an interesting slurs for white people we got to be like long eyebrow ridge having [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] we got like five minutes left we're gonna get ready to wrap it up in a minute because we have to uh make way for the next uh group that has to come into the podcast i got this one all right so um this is a marriage question uh my this is somebody who wrote this in anonymously my fiance wants to have a wedding and i don't i want a small ceremony she wants to use the sixteen thousand dollars that i have saved up for a home and for emergency funds i already spent three thousand on a ring she wanted and that was for my savings we can't seem to come to a compromise i'm willing to spend five thousand dollar dollars on the wedding and she says that's not enough what can i do so find another wife the more expensive you're winning the more likely you'll end in divorce yes i believe that i believe that because of financial [ __ ] do it at ten years don't do it big on the first one man like get the people there that are really gonna wish you will really really want the best for you guys and also do a wishing well with it don't don't do all these gifts and [ __ ] tell them to give you gift cards some money because they don't really know what you need and you don't really know what you need until like after the wedding you're like [ __ ] we got money have people write you checks give you money orders and give you gift cards for you that [ __ ] i was thinking about that [ __ ] the other day because in the reality is because i see i know hell of women that get pressured all the time by hey go get married when you go get married get married and even when they be like halfway through the situation it'd be like all right well i have so much pressure on you and the reality is is if you told them you got married they wouldn't give a [ __ ] they wouldn't be happy for you oh thank you i'm so glad you got married they'd be like hey where's our free party with our alcohol what would you mean what you mean you went and got married it's like no i'm happy i'm i got married i got i did it mom was like marriage the actual happiness between the two people now it's about so much other things so much [ __ ] [ __ ] i've noticed that most in my opinion i have to preface it by saying that in my opinion what i've noticed is most women don't want a marriage they want a wedding interesting so it's not about the fact that we're about to go off and build this life together and we're also incurring all this debt together by having this enormously extravagant exorbitant ass affair with this wedding ceremony it's the fact that you want to put on and [ __ ] on all your hunger it was the first igflex all the ones who got married before you all the ones that are in your bridal party which means they are still single because in order to be a bridesmaid you have to be unmarried the only married one is the matron of honor is that true yes your unmarried home girls you're made of is that an old thing because i feel like nowadays yeah i think they might have warped the rules but i'm talking about traditionally how it's set up interesting so only your single friends it wasn't about your closest yeah that's that's why they got to catch up always a bridesmaid [Music] that's why they're catching the bouquet which one are you holding i know married women who have been friends married it's literally the original social media this is why traditionally the woman that gets married puts her bridesmaids in ugly dresses i got a [ __ ] on all these hoes hilarious they're not usually amazing amazing most women that get married don't even look like they self in their wedding photos they should be trash too they lost a whole lot of weight to get off into a dress that they would normally never fit that's understanding professional glamour shot makeup and [ __ ] done first ig flex this was before social media this was my opportunity to get a wedding photographer be like this is how my wedding was this is my cake so how many people this is how many flowers look at the flowers that my husband is allergic to i'm still here hey if you coconut ladies if y'all if your family is putting pressure on you to get married just tell them you got married tell them you elope and just watch how they react because it's morbid it's more about them it's about them you didn't invite me i didn't get to be a part of your stuff i didn't get to take pictures that you're you're just she would tell you what the number one no-no color to wear to a wedding to hear you married ass fans she'll tell you no if you're going to a wedding as a guest right you never put on white because it steals the attention because you're trying to upstage the bride i'll get married we're gonna both have one white but here's the thing the reason why this went viral people might win baby girls before sean and everyone was like man y'all knew y'all new generation aren't willing to thug things out every problem y'all willing to dip because i read this and i was just like oh that seems like you're with the wrong person and why i favorited it is people were just like man you guys don't know the the the new uh old school was just you know figuring stuff stuff out you know i mean maybe she just wants the ceremony so i did want to see like is there any part of it that's just like all right because he said that he had 16 000 to his name first of all you want a house for sixteen thousand dollars detroit this this this is a down payment so 20 bans they got he saved up 20 bans for they win for a home and emergency funds we spent three of that on the ring well he said that came from a savings right that might have been a different account because that makes sense to me if you're with somebody that's 19. the first you gonna have another thousand by the wedding day so that's 20. yeah yeah my my idea is that you'll have another thousand yeah if you had somebody you wanted to marry the idea of buying a house first makes absolute sense to me as opposed to like let's listen if i'm already up to 16 so i'm going to spin this on a wedding and then start over for the for the light for the life i said that sounds it's a red flag it seems like a huge red flag out of there it goes against tradition but makes all the logical sense traditionally y'all not supposed to be shacking up together however if your woman moved into a house that was already decorated first thing she gonna do is throw all that furniture away yeah because she got to make her mark this is well that's also because you've been [ __ ] on that furniture which is fast you got couchsurfing you can't [ __ ] you got keisha you know energy up in here that's all yeah you might have been [ __ ] on that camera i just glanced at the chat good points it says old school this is sherry old school was miserable and had families outside their marriage we may be flaky but we're not going into a marriage unhappy right and some and pa said they suffered in silence back then ain't no way i'm going through that it's not like people are just like weaker now it's just like we have more options and more of a way i'm not gonna go for the [ __ ] you want to be that 1950s wife who was just like yes okay and like drinking herself to death because she was like i'm not gonna be my god yeah just like black folks say we are not our grandparents we are not our ancestors when we were talking to overly aggressive bigots hey i'm not my granddaddy i'm not gonna get outside for you i whip your ass out here the women are saying the same thing like i'm not going to be june cleaver i'm not going to be your your second class citizen in this household just for a wedding and then men are also saying the same thing [ __ ] that happy wife happy life [ __ ] yeah i gotta be happy too happy house happy spouse like yeah if i'm not gonna be happy i'm not gonna sign up for forever of misery yeah that's reality in these streets why are we comparing ourselves to a generation that had all that [ __ ] going like like women couldn't say [ __ ] of course it was happy yeah i mean like we were so girls were sold the disney fairy tale gee in fairness though they do talk to god damage now we gotta we gotta reel him back he's like shut the [ __ ] up sometimes i'm not gonna say that i don't i don't agree with that calm down you're doing that episode i want to hear your voice i want to thank our very first guest we got we're not gonna say you [Music] come on man we appreciate you to hear we've been singing all day demanding that you scare me at you scary [ __ ] we gotta go hey outro special guest ron black ryan we have bt casey in the building i'm to hear more i'm patrick cloud and this has been another episode of damn internet to hear from gary we'll see you next week outro songs are a thing now peace guys

Channel: Dam Internet, You Scary!

Views: 62,868

Keywords: dam internet you scary, damn internet you scary, damn internet you scary!, dam internet you scary!, patrick cloud, tahir moore, podcast, comedy, funny podcast, internet undefeated, internet is undefeated, internet undefeated podcast, conspiracies, conspiracy theory, conspiracy theories, creepy

Id: Nx1cacr0XD8

Length: 70min 48sec (4248 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 07 2021