Testing Heaven(s) - Musings on an Afterlife

[Music] [Applause] [Music] how many people die everyday over 150 3,000 according to w-h-o figures for 2012 if there really were a binary afterlife eternally great or eternally bad with no middle ground is the heaven really all it's cracked up to be we can be fairly sure that the intelligence level in heaven isn't high all the great scientists are in hell for repeated heresies as is everyone who can appreciate their work the fact that we no longer think illness is caused by demons and that the true nature of the world is revealed by actually looking to see how it works rather than just saying that some magic sky fairy is responsible for everything remember when people thought rainbows were signs from God and neither do ami we've moved on since then well most of us have everyone arriving in heaven will be wanting to meet their sky fairy of course after all they've been promised that the stories are true and they gets to be in the sky fairies Kingdom and what use would it be if they didn't meet the fairy himself after all how would you know you'd ended up in the right place without that besides it would be rude for the sky fairy not to thank you in person for your faith but how long would your meet-and-greet last if you believe in an afterlife the chances are you think most other people are going to help how else are you going to feel superior as a fully grown adult who still has an imaginary friend let's say only 10% of people make it to heaven that's still fifteen thousand three hundred people a day the queues must be enormous and the sky fairy must be bored rigid day after day for a century upon century thousands of simpering sycophant skewed are asking the same banal questions over and over again luckily for him to get fifteen thousand three hundred people through the door every day and keep the queue moving each stiff gets just five point six four seconds to say hi and get their questions out of the way since you won't get time to ask any questions perhaps there's an FAQ somewhere maybe some kind of leaflets to collect on your arrival one way the dead people to get more time for a basic greeting on arrival would be for the sky fairy to have representatives like department store Santa's standing in for the real Santa so you don't really mean to the sky fairy himself he is after all busy being mysterious and making rainbows and too busy to prevent disasters on earth so what makes you think he's got time to hear you asking whether you have to get your hair cut in heaven in all likelihood your meet-and-greet will take place with a red crank up the bright light and some piped choral music and the credulous will never notice the difference after all every Mickey Mouse at Disneyland is the real Mickey such a system could mean there's employment in heaven so you go to heaven only to end up working pretending to be God to help manage the queues of sniveling creeps who want to ask that question for the umpteenth time so you could choose a different religion that's okay you get to go to a different heaven but every other religions hell because you didn't subscribe to their sky fairy who is obviously the only true sky fairy but so was yours so what is your afterlife then perhaps you a little more than Schrodinger's cat nobody knows whether you're in heaven or hell or which heaven or which hells you might be in and unlike Schrodinger's cat we can't open the box and find out and you only get to find out what's your dead of course god botherers will never entertain the idea that there could be more than one heaven because that would defeat their black and white heaven or hell dichotomy on which they base their sycophantic adherence to the cherry-picked musings of some Bronze Age camel Fiddler's if the dichotomy is correct and there is only one heaven then 40,000 plus sects of Christianity need not be wasting their time debating whose interpretation of the word of the Lord of the camel Fiddler's is correct since you're all going to the same place anyway this pretty much renders your holy book and or interpretations of it utterly redundant and since there's only one heaven you'll have to share it with the people of other religions so perhaps you'd like to take up your debate of who's picked the right God the right holy book and the right interpretation of that holy book when you get there there's really no point debating it now so kindly shut up and leave us all in peace if you accept that there are different heavens and hells for each religion then you're back to being Schrodinger's sky fairy sycophant take some comfort though you're off life super position won't last forever at least if you're a Christian the Bible clearly states that only God is immortal obviously then you get to die again in the afterlife and what happens then afterlife to point naught presumably are you judged again by the capricious sky wizard based on how much in kissed his ass while you were in heaven if Heaven is so magical by what standard can you be judged when you die again anyway you've already passed to the faith test the first time you died and that was pretty much the only entry requirement after all you can recount on your deathbed and still get in so you die again and what pop up at the gates of heaven again like an afterlife version of Groundhog Day Oh both accuse the QS well it'd be rude not to join the back of the queue unless there's an express lane for those who have died and Bend in heaven before but they'd need to be a lot of express lanes because they're going to have to serve everyone who has ever died dying over and over again perhaps then there are other afterlife staff checking who's a first-timer and who's a reentrant in the infinite loop of life and death the results from only God being immortal if you're a god bother and you want to contend that this is nonsense and that you know what heaven is really like or or at least able to regurgitate the content of the sales brochure particular to your chosen religion or sect of that religion you're forgetting one key thing you haven't died yet so you don't have the slightest clue all you have is the promise that all will be lovely and fluffy will you be sharing heaven with all the sects and religions you disagree with won't you be going to their hell how do you know oh the near-death experience tales if these are evidence of an afterlife then there are evidence of multiple heavens since depending on where you live your near-death visions are culturally appropriate so what happens administrative error you know the drill some relative is waiting at the end of the tunnel telling you to go back naturally they had to take time out of their day in heaven to explain someone else's up in bringing you to heavens for you in the first place sorry it's not your time could you come back when you're older and not undergoing medical procedure it's just that you always a bit squeamish about the whole open chest cavity thing and it scares the children that he allowed to die last week [Music] if you can be sent back from heaven because it's not your time God's not perfect he could have intervened before you were nearly died rather than inconveniencing heavens admin department and taking your relatives away from whatever heavenly activity they were doing that day to say hello and then goodbye again and of course if heaven were really all milk and cookies they wouldn't Bend you at the pain of missing you anyway but what would their day have been volved there is no see in heaven so if you like the beach fishing or marine sports or just eating some nicely cooked fish watching a sunset with the smell of salt water in the air you're screwed maybe you don't need to eat in heaven so there goes your love of fine food and if you can eat the food has to be by definition of heaven heavenly so you have no benchmark by which to enjoy a really really good meal because every day will be equally perfect and equally boring as a result maybe they liked gardening well no longer will they have to worry about pests or weeds there on the soil is magically even perfectly fertile so there's no real need to tend their plants gardening is reduced to planting seeds and watching them grow with all the interest of challenges removed that's probably going to be about as much fun as watching paint dry maybe they loved archaeology sorry not allowed real archaeology would involve dealing with cultures other than the one specific to your heaven which might present evidence that your sky fairy is just a tall tale used to keep people in line and sate their fear of day or perhaps the archaeological sites are all specially constructed to be culturally appropriate to the heaven you're in so that it'd just be an exercise in digging up confirmation bias so where's the interest value in that it's hardly likely to stir their passion for discovery that they had when they were alive again heavens looking contrived and boring don't worry it only lasts forever with the occasional redeath and re-entry to break the monotony it seems then that if you think about it the idea of an afterlife has more than a few problems it's probably total bollocks but we have no way of knowing in advance people just think they do and it always happens to coincide with their cultural and religious beliefs convenient huh since this is the only life that you are guaranteed to get you could just make this one count instead of wasting your time trying to curry favor with your geographically predisposed choice of imaginary friend in the sky to try and ensure a good afterlife why because if one exists and if your sky fairy is truly the reasonable compassionate and genuinely loving fellow that is followers or make him out to be what simultaneously ignoring is apparent punctual for genocide in the right context he'll appreciate your efforts regardless of whether you spent your life kissing his transcendent ass by talking to the ceiling on a regular basis thanks for watching you

Channel: CoolHardLogic

Views: 122,340

Rating: 4.8055177 out of 5

Keywords: CHL, CoolHardLogic, religion, afterlife, heaven, hell, god, holy, death, life after death, life, eternal

Id: s3AdXaefJ3M

Length: 10min 35sec (635 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 01 2014