F*** this. Johnny, you know what? I'm gonna get expelled. For what? I don't know yet. I'll come up with something. Wait. Are you gonna try and get kicked out? It's the only way I'm missing card sharks. Oh, dude, look, there she is. What? Look! Holy sh*t! Who is that? Bethany's sister. She goes to Emerson. Hottest chick on the planet. Jesus. What's her name? Sheila. What? No. Yep. Sheila. Uhhuh. What the f*** kind of malevolent God would do that? It's like my parents knew she was going to be hot, and they wanted to level the field. Think fast, Bennett. Oh, God. F***! Hey, Zork. What the f*** you got here? You're bringing your dolls to school. Hey! F*** you! Clive! Oh, God. You motherf***er! What the hell is this guy? This is Clive. Nice teddy bear. Bennett, you got your blankie, too? You must be going full gay on us, huh? I always knew you were a big queer. You know, I don't want to speculate on who's gay, but didn't you just touch his penis twice? Hey, listen, man, it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's the 90s. Times are changing. Hey, anybody else here? Gay? How is it? It's great. It's the f***ing tits. See? There you go. The reviews are in. You still a f***ing dork, huh? Let's go. Hey, you know what, Teddy? I think I'm really glad you're here. Yeah, thanks. I'm still going to get kicked out. I know. From 1814 to 1815, following the writing of Childe Harold's Pilgrimage, Lord Byron was the toast of Regency London. During this period, he wrote The Siege of Corinth, The Bride of Abydos, and what else? Amanda. Parisina. Yes. Someone did the homework. Very good. I think this guy's lost 40 hairs since class started. It's weird. Right? It's like they're not falling out. They're jumping out. Ted? Yes. Can you complete this verse? She walks in beauty like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies. And all that's best of dark and bright. Your wife is f***ing other guys. You think you're funny. But you know what? Joke's on you, smart guy. Because my wife and I are having problems. Oh. Yeah. I'm sorry to hear that. Oh. Thank you. Um, my wife had an affair last year, and we both tried to recover. But the fact is, neither one of us has been able to forget it. So I come in here every day acting like my life is great. When in reality. It's a train wreck. My own son doesn't respect his father. So joke's on you, funny man. Not really. Quite sure how the joke's on me but- Who's laughing now? I mean, I think I still am. Life comes with a lot of pain, kids. So better you learn that right now and develop some nice, hard calluses over your feelings. My daughter's having a pregnancy scare. Anyone want to talk about that? Well, we're gonna talk about it. Her last period was five weeks ago. I know this because I'm the only one in the house who buys tampons. Yeah, I don't think you're gonna break Mr. George. He's already too messed up. Yeah, I see that. So what are you going to do? How you going to get kicked out? Better put some more franks on. All right. I'm the King of the Wieners. Aha-ha Ted Bennett, please report to the principal's office. Well, don't mind if I do. Ted, do you know where my last job was? Um, were you on night court? No, I was principal at Dorchester High. Oh, sh*t. Wait, isn't there a mascot? Just a guy with a knife. Technically, stabbers was a pirate, but yes, it was a little rough. I heard there was one girl there who was only eight years older than her own granddaughter. I'm afraid that's true. Well, how'd that work? Oh, it involved the international dateline. But the point is, I watched a lot of students stumble and drift through the system to come out on the other side without any real education. Some of them did what you're doing. Testing the boundaries, rebelling, hoping to get cut loose. Okay, well, I'm not going to let the same thing happen here. Love that. Don't like where this is going? You're going to be an example. I'm not going to suspend you or anything else. We are going to make a successful student out of you. Now hang on a second. And you're the perfect choice. So if you want to act up again, just know if you do, it's not going to change your situation. Oh, man. Are you sure I'm the right guy? There's a fat kid who likes to touch dicks. You're late for class.
