Taking Off the Mask of Bipolar; Remove the stigma from mental illness | Jame Geathers | TEDxAugusta

[Music] by show of hands how many of you know someone with bipolar disorder okay so roughly a third of you would it shock you to know that 2.6 percent of the u.s. adult population has been diagnosed with some form of bipolar disorder of those nearly 20% will complete suicide each year keep in mind that only accounts for those who have been diagnosed many have not that number is equal to roughly one person per row in this theater now don't start looking around trying to figure out who it is in your row after all it could be you and it's not as if we're going to tell you who we are yes I did say we I am one of the 5.6 million Americans that have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder now now it's not the time to avoid me or worse start feeling sorry for me because today I am being set free this is the first time that I publicly acknowledged my illness in fact most of my family friends and associates have no idea that I have been struggling with this disease for over a decade the first time I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder was in my mid-twenties I have been struggling but having no clue as to why I had been suffering from brutal insomnia having feeling deeply sad for no apparent reason sure I have problems but nothing that warranted my recurring desire to commit suicide after several visits to my doctor to discuss my feelings of hopelessness lack of sleep racing thoughts and such he suggested that I may have bipolar disorder he suggested that I be seen by a psychiatrist to confirm this diagnosis being afraid of the label and stigma of mental illness I refused to even consider or accept his diagnosis I decided to ignore his advice and I promptly switched doctors during the years after my initial diagnosis I was seen by many medical professionals annual checkups well-woman visits each year and random appointments after coming down from manic binges not that I knew what manic ninjas were at that point none of these professionals ever asked a simple question have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness and I definitely wasn't going to volunteer the information instead I continued on a downward spiral until I found myself truly struggling to live so you may ask what does bipolar disorder look like bipolar is the mental equivalent of being on the pirate ship fair eyed swinging back and forth from severe depression that made it impossible to leave my bed for days and made me fantasize about death on a daily basis or mania which had me not sleeping for as many as five days at a time or spending uncontrollably which led to bankruptcies under the age of 35 one time I actually spent $200 on post-it notes because everyone needs 40 assorted colors our post-it notes mania also includes being severely iterable for no apparent reason and just becoming enraged at the slightest thing and then there's the hypersexuality where the married couples that may not seem like a bad thing but let me assure you hyper sexuality is not about sex it is about the compulsive act the insatiable desire that never goes away and make it even worse when it's all over there is no physical or emotional gratification only shame finally in 2013 I was exhausted it was fighting the battle in my own brain and I decided to accept my diagnosis the first thing was to come come clean with my the first step was to come clean with my primary care physician I thought I will be given medication and everything would just be wonderful I was wrong no one tells you how difficult it is to find the right combination of medications or how challenging it can be to find knowledgeable empathetic providers or how the side effects of the drugs are often worse than the disease itself I guess that's because if they did no one would ever bother with treatment this was compounded by the daily struggle to hide my symptoms from those around me I'm sure many people wondered if I was flaky or plain rude depending on the version of me that they encountered I fluctuated between over committing myself when I was manic and failing to meet basic commitments when I was depressed this results in me feeling guilty and overwhelmed because of these and other factors I struggled to get on board with my treatment plan on several occasions I fail to take my medications leading to nearly disastrous consequences I had to go beyond having suicidal fantasies to making a plan for my exit I was exhausted from the struggle and I was tired of being a burden on my daughter less than a year ago a month before my planned date of death I received the unexpected news that a friend had ended their life it was devastating this person was so brilliant and filled with potential that said I could understand the feeling of hopelessness that drove them over the edge I also felt terrible because maybe if I had taken off my mask and revealed my struggle maybe they could have shared theirs I wish they had known that I can understand their pain in the months following their death I realized that I didn't want the people that I would leave behind who experienced the same kill that I now carry the question of if my friend's life could have been saved if I had been strong enough to take off my mask will haunt me for the rest of my life as devastating as it was that experience saved my life these days I'm excited to share I'm excited to share I'm hopeful for the road ahead while I am a work in progress I have made progress I am taking my medications all seven of them repairing their relationships that I can and choosing that to allow my diagnosis to define me most importantly I'm planning my life instead of my death a few moments ago I asked all of you if you know how many of you know someone with a bipolar disorder now that you've heard my story all of you can say that you do moving forward if you suspect that you may have bipolar disorder or if you have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder have courage get help give those around you the opportunity to support you and be brave enough to share your story so that others may be empowered to share theirs your story may save a life if you know someone who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder have courage it educated do not be afraid to ask the hard questions like why are you buying $200 where the post-it notes it's kind of nice and most of all have patience they are doing the best they can your support may save a life thank you you

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 163,189

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Life, Depression, Mental health, Self-help, Women

Id: gjVsQH6bIsU

Length: 10min 34sec (634 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 16 2018