Support the England Football Team - Stand Up Comedy Imran Yusuf

I was important England but I've grown up in England and it's affected a level of patriotism I do feel towards this country and there's something I'm proud to say I am proud to be a supporter of the English football team thank you there's a few cheers as couple of boos I heard them yeah normally from Scottish people when you guys win World Cup give us a call that joke was sponsored by the English Defence League I'm Brad sporting these four teams there's a problem with that nowadays the English football team doesn't do too well now in any kind of football competition that's because modern football players are too busy being celebrities first and professional athletes second it's almost they don't care about the pride the privilege the respect that comes with wearing the England top and representing this fine country in the fine game that's association football they want to be famous first but regard to how badly England do in any kind of football competition I would always support the English football team that's kind of proud patriot that I am right I'm not like these young kids and you know who you are if you're in this room right now like yeah man I support Brazil why are you Brazilian no I just like the yellow top in it shut up I don't want to hear that because these are the rules you support the country that you were born in or at least like myself you support the country that you have grown up in I'm proud sport the English football team does kind of proud patriot that I am thank you when it comes to cricket you're on your own I made a little bit of secret I grew up being absolutely terrified of women not now darling I'm a gangster right it was a big deal for me a lot grew up the absolute everyone didn't feel that I was good enough okay Anna for me quite late into my life if I didn't have much positive reinforcement growing up as a child right in fact I was a serial bed-wetter people always took the piss pun intended but nowadays it's the ladies who get wet in my bed nose are we on them yeah as well disappointing now right and as I grew up I let it's all about confidence guys you got to be confident around a woman okay that's what women fall for is confident she had that in a lot of money let's be honest you got to be confident ladies you don't realize about a confidence it takes to come and talk to you guys you don't realize the amount of confidence it takes because what you see on the outside isn't what's happening on the inside when a guy comes across you all you see is the game face we come up like this year look hey but on the inside this is what's actually happening please don't reject me I've pulled but but even after you got the confidence guys even after you've got the confidence they're logistical obstacles that will get in the way right because you start talking to a girl you got till you drop your opening line and it's going well she starts talking and you pretend you're actually listening this guy well it's got almost too well and then suddenly ten minutes into a conversation and it's always ten minutes into a conversation that you guys wait - it's like a global conspiracy the whole of female cannotyou wait to do this ten minutes into conversation she will nonchalantly drop in that she already has a boyfriend and that's when you got to keep the game face and pretend like you ain't been deterred shut up you can't do this Ross says you got to us to the first second of an interaction if you've got a boyfriend right yeah cause men yes men yeah we're busy we got things to do we're trying to build bridges which I'll do a manned mission out to Mars have you heard about this Nagas you're too busy reading Heat magazine that's right I said it some girls disagree with me come up to me after on jet skis mr. comedian man you rude okay we rude a Carrie defended vulture stairs rude rude okay mr. sparkles important eeeh I can't endure first second okay boyfriend okay rude okay maybe this guy's come to talk to me yeah not this is interested in that way okay maybe he's coming to talk to me yeah it was my interesting personality ain't nobody get married for the conversation couple of married couples in it right now going when she ain't looking I will laugh my ass off a lot my name's in run use of this address

Channel: Imran Yusuf

Views: 295,208

Rating: 4.882236 out of 5

Keywords: Imran Yusuf, comedy, stand up, England (Country), Football, Soccer, England Football Team, dating, scared of girls, patriotism

Id: k162KQAbBac

Length: 4min 43sec (283 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 19 2014