Doing laundry in
a family of nine is like a scene
out of a horror movie. There's no escape, and it always
ends badly. Incoming! GEORGIE: I'm good. <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>But like all horror movies,
there's one girl smart enough</i></font> <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>to outwit the monster.
Me.</i></font> Let me stop you
right there. New construction must be
approved by the boss of this town. It's me.
She's my number two. I'm about to turn
the worst chore on Planet Diaz into the coolest. Allow me to introduce Zip-A-Dee Laundry. "We get the doo-dah out." Cool! Round trip
for two, please. Slow your roll. I promised Mom...
laundry only. No human cargo
or their demented dolls. Doll? Right to her face? What's up with that? Sorry, Deathnee. Just trying to save you
a trip to the doll hospital. Although, you look like
you need one. And I need more laundry. - Can I help?
- Yes. Just stand there
and don't bug me. She left us alone. This is really
more on her. DAPHNE: Whee! Are you okay? Except for the smell. ( sniffs ) Daphne, what happened? ( fake crying ) Harley's invention
hurt me, Mommy. - Harley!
- I'm sorry, but
it's not my fault. I was trying to make
something super useful for the whole family
and Daphne-- You know you're not
allowed to build anything - that could hurt anyone.
- But Daphne didn't listen. That zip line hurt me. It didn't, but I might. I told her not to touch it. That's enough. Rachel!
Georgie! Ethan! I'm so mad I don't even
know what your name is. It's Harley. Harley, upstairs.
You're on lockdown. Lockdown? <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>Lockdown. It's the worst
punishment in the family.</i></font> <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>Normally reserved for
Diaz-on-Diaz crime.</i></font> <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>Pinching, biting,
purple nurples.</i></font> <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>Really any color nurple.</i></font> <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>No visitors, no internet,
no hope.</i></font> And the first thing you're
doing when you get out is taking down
that laundry death machine. Mommy, I think
a chocolate chip cookie
would make me feel better. Oh, of course, sweetheart. ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ ♪ Sometimes it feels like
things are outta control ♪ ♪ Like you're living in
a circus ♪ ♪ Tryin' to figure out
your way in the world ♪ ♪ Where you're at
is kinda perfect ♪ ♪ So turn it up,
turn it up ♪ ♪ Do your thing,
don't stop ♪ ♪ Let the games begin,
let's jump right in ♪ ♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪ ♪ In the middle
of the party ♪ ♪ We're just
getting started ♪ ♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪ ♪ In the eye of the tornado,
rowin' in the same boat ♪ ♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪ ♪ Get stuck in
the middle with you ♪ ♪ I wanna get
stuck with you ♪ You've heard of
the terrible twos? Well, Daphne's hit
the sinister sixes. That's three times worse with twice the vocabulary
to blame things on me. Who got into my jewelry? DAPHNE: Harley did it! ( yells ) DAPHNE: Harley did it! It's easy for the youngest kid
to avoid being punished just because
they're the baby. Even if they're way too old
to act like one. Speak of the devil.
Literally. Georgie's old high tops?
Rachel's makeup mirror? So random.
What's she doing? Remember life
before we had kids? We look fun. You're reaching a little
far back for me. I can't even remember
where I put my car keys. As much as I love
a good key search, with the twins at camp,
I'm finally getting through my list of things
I haven't had time to do. Number ten, nap. That's only if
I get through the first nine. I'm happy to take
number ten off your hands. Dad, can I borrow 20 bucks? Okay, thanks. - What if I say no?
- Okay, thanks. You always borrow money
and you never pay me back. That is so not true. There was that one time
that I borrowed money to buy you a tie
for your birthday. You want 20 bucks?
Earn it. Since your sister's
on lockdown, you can run
the slushy stand. Kids, sticky stuff, the general public. Does any of that sound like
something I'm about? How come she gets
to work there? I've been brainstorming
slushy names for months. Co-co-be Bryant.
Lindsay Vonn-illa. Peyton Banan-ing. I'm still
working on that one. You can work on it while
you're slinging slushies with Rachel.
You're both hired. As long as I get
my 20 bucks. You mean you're
paying us too? Georgie, you won't believe.
Daphne-- Sorry. Can't talk to you.
Lockdown rules. Oh, no, I just did.
Please don't tell Mom. - I just did it again.
- Forget lockdown. Daphne just dumped a bunch
of stuff in the backyard. All I heard was "just"
and "a," and that can still get me
two days in the hole. ♪ La la la la la la la ♪ Georgie, wait. Come back.
I need your help. And that's Rachel's
backpack. Ethan. Ethan!
Ethan, down here. I'm not supposed
to be talking to you, even through 20 feet
of aquarium tubing. You've got to see this. Daphne's in the yard,
and she's up to something. Forget it.
I'm not breaking lockdown rules. Fine, but she's got that tuner
you use when you sing. My Voice Bot? But that's what
makes me sound like... a rap star ballin'
outta control with a hot model girlfriend
on a yacht. See, this is why
I need the voice changer. That's not all
she's got. Dad's high school
football trophy, that candle Mom says
she's gonna burn when she finally
gets to take a bath. All right. I'll just
tell Mom what's up, Daphne gets caught,
I can sound like a playa again. And telling on Daphne
won't be good enough. She can weasel her way
out of anything and put the blame on me. Glad she never blames me. I've got a 14-year
lockdown-free streak going. Which reminds me.
I'm not supposed
to be in here. You think that's gonna last? Lewie and Beast
are at camp, I'm holed up in here. Who do you think is next
in Daphne's path of wrath? ( yells ) DAPHNE: Ethan did it! Oh, yeah,
she's goin' down. Great. Now
help me sneak out. Are you nuts? If Mom comes in the room,
she'll know you're not here. I'll be an accomplice. I'm not built for lockdown.
I'm a people person. I got it covered.
Check it. Mom Tracker 2.0. It's smaller, quieter,
and even tracks her heart rate. I made it from a pedometer
Mom bought when she was on
her big power-walk phase. She power-walked five steps
to the cookie drawer
where she left it. Okay, clogs,
we got a big day. We're starting. They called us
up to the show. Hammies, I'm talkin'
to you, too. Get ready for
the slush rush. You know, you should
really start memorizing
the slushy menu. What if someone orders
off a secret menu? The secret is,
if you want a slushy, order off
the regular menu. Girls, I gotta go
pick up some parts
for an outboard motor. I'll be gone all afternoon. BOTH: So we get to go home? Actually, I need you two
to watch the store. Rachel, since you're the oldest,
you're in charge. Fine. My cell works better
over by the cash register
anyway. That's my girl. Now that you're in charge, you should really
start brushing up on
the slushy flavors, - and the bait prices.
- Why? I went from slushy stand
to store manager by sitting here and texting. I'm obviously
doing something right. Hey, Mom, I know you're busy-- Not doing number ten. Still checking things off
my to-do list. You wanna know one of
my favorite to-dos? Givin' my mom a hug. Awww, bring it in. Paying more attention
to my kids is
number four on my list. Harley! I've been searching
for this photo for hours. Look at your sister
on her training potty. That's something no brother
needs to see. Freedom never smells as good
as when you're on lockdown. ( sniffing ) Actually, freedom smells like
tuna fish and rotten bananas. Trash day,
you're killin' my moment. Great. Now
she's on the run. HARLEY: Clementines. Daphne's favorite snack. Follow the peels,
we'll find the perp. Yeah, a brother and sister
following a trail of food. That always ends well
in fairy tales. Caught her. Wait, what did we
catch her doing? HARLEY: Having the world's
weirdest tea party? Ca-caw, ca-caw! Step right up. Daphne and Deathnee's
Little Shop of Wonders has got what you need.
Everything priced
to sell, people. Whoa! She's not just
stealing stuff from the house. She's selling it. Daphne is so busted. <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>She's about to do
some hard time in lockdown.</i></font> Today's special: baby teeth.
Three for a dollar. This is bad, Ethan.
She's stealing stuff
from the tooth fairy now. We got her.
I'm gonna film it. Uh... Harls, what exactly
do we have on her? It just looks like
she's playing shop. Plus, she's so adorable
in that visor, Mom will totally
believe her. Aww, she really is
the cutest Diaz. Cute like a baby wolverine.
But you're right. We have to wait to catch her
while money's changing hands. Lucky for us, Mom's
busy with her project. ( phone rings ) ( ringing continues ) Lewie and Beast's
camp again. What did they do this time? They threw Ron
off the roof? Oh, Ron's a CPR dummy? That's not so bad. What if I go buy back
my Voice Bot and you catch it all
on camera? Daphne's not gonna sell
to you, her brother. She's not dumb. No. Not me. I'm going undercover
as hip-hop bad boy and warrior poet
E-Town McMoney. He's cooler than the rest,
he's a BFTF. That's best fun
in the family. I can't believe
this is my best option. Rachel, your friends
are playing with a deluxe adult flotation vest for a non-Coast Guard
approved use. Stop, Kiki.
Take that off. Orange is so not your color. Try this. Adorbs. Do you have any idea
how mad Dad will be if he comes back and sees
there's a party going on? We can't blow this.
He called us up to the bigs. Don't think of it as a party. Think of it as a bunch
of people buying slushies here, and not at the boba shop
across the street, which totally means
we're winning. There's a way to win
at slushy? Totes. And we're
crushing it. Is this a joke?
I can't let this retainer
go for two bucks. It was used by
the Marshport werewolf. What up, mama? How about three bucks for
the voice changer, yo? Deal. I'm sure it'll help with
that lame disguise, Ethan. How'd you know it was me? I don't think
acting's your thing. Stick to guitar. Actually, you're not so hot
at guitar either. Laugh it up, because you're
in big trouble. Oh, really? It seems like
it's your word against mine, and mine comes with this. Awww! Well, mine comes with this. ( kids yelling ) Hey, that's my Voice Bot. You're not old enough
to be a playa. Gotcha, little thug. You're going on
lockdown for a year. When I say Co-co be,
you say Bryant. Co-co be. - ALL: Bryant.
- Co-co be.
- Bryant. In your face, boba place. - Brain freeze!
- ( all cheering ) What is going on here?! Put my daughter down. You, take off that deluxe
adult flotation vest. Everybody out!
This party is over! You two are on lockdown. Lockdown? I didn't bite
or nurple anyone. She's in charge.
Brain freeze. Go ahead.
Show Mom the video. She's going to wonder
how you got it while you were in
your room on lockdown. I don't care if I go down as long as you're
going down with me. I'm not afraid of Mom. ( tracker beeping ) Uh-oh. Mom's on the move. Just so you know,
when people say uh-oh, it usually means
they're afraid. Harley, I'm bringing you
a snack. - ( buzzing )
- HARLEY: <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>Mom Tracker 2.0.</i></font> Weird. There's
nothing in here. <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>Now comes with
Mom distraction devices.</i></font> Now what was I doing? <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>Including dryer ding.</i></font> Come on. Selling
our family stuff? That's a new low
even for you. I need money
to buy new toys. You've got toys here. Board games,
badminton rackets. I mean stuff I can
play with by myself. Deathnee's cool, but I have
to come up with all the ideas. Hold up. You're selling
the Harley hoop? But I made this for you. Well, it's not like
we play with it anymore. We had a whole fun routine. The Dazzling Diazes,
remember? I'd start. Then you'd go
under the bridge. Then you'd come back. And then I would
pass it to you. Then I'd start. And pass it to you. But there's no you
anymore. And I can get
three dollars for this. Ten if I say
it belongs to Lady Gaga. Harley, wanna go melt stuff
in my Tiny Bake oven? Can't. Going to
the movies with Georgie. HARLEY: <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>Oh. I get it now.</i></font> Wanna go hide-and-go-bury? Can't. Ethan and I
are going to the mall. ( door closing ) <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>When I hit the double digits,</i></font> <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>I guess I left
the single digits behind.</i></font> <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>The problem isn't that
Daphne wanted me in trouble.</i></font> <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>She just wanted me.</i></font> I'll give you ten dollars
for the hula hoop. But it wasn't
Lady Gaga's. No. It belonged to
someone way cooler. So I chased the kid
who took my Voice Bot all the way to
the marina. Bad news. Dad just
put Rachel and Georgie
on lockdown, and they're heading home. Also, we missed
a pretty awesome party. Great. As soon as
they get there, they're going to see
I'm not in my room.
I'm busted. No, you're not.
We can get you back safe
if we work together. Wait, we're working<font color="#FFFFFF"><i>
with </i>her now?</font> Boy, you leave for a minute,
the whole world turns
on its head. I'm so glad I updated
Mom Checker two point... ( gasps )
Mom Tracker's offline. Where'd you guys come from? Uh... nowhere special. Not doing anything unusual. Way to keep it
cool, dimples. What happened to
Mom Tracker? She took off
her sweatshirt. Okay, feeling better
about my invention. - ( door opens )
- But, Dad! Girls, I don't
wanna hear it. And way worse about
ever getting upstairs. But it wasn't
even a party. It was savvy marketing
for your fish killing store. And we destroyed
the boba shop. Their mascot was crying
little tapioca tears. You know, if Zip-A-Dee Laundry
can get me downstairs, it can get you upstairs. What? Are you kidding me?
Not a party? - Daphne, you're a genius.
- You just noticed? There were more kids at my store
than I have in this house. It's good to know when
Lewie and Beast are gone, the rest of the kids
will step up to make
our lives difficult. But, Dad, we made you $180. Oh, actually, 160.
You still owe me that 20. Um... me and my socks. Hangin' out. Okay. Girls,
you're on lockdown. Upstairs. Sorry, Dad. I'm not sorry.
That was a great party. When I say boba,
you say tears. Boba. - Tears.
- Boba.
- Tears. Hey, guys.
Is it dinnertime yet? Sure lose track of time
when you're on lockdown. Well, don't worry.
You're getting some
new cellmates. Harley, were you outside? Are these your footprints? Harley didn't do it. Ethan did. It wasn't Ethan.
It was me. I broke lockdown rules. But it was totally worth it. Okay, I don't know
what's going on here, but you're both
on lockdown. Made it 14 years
lockdown-free. That's still
a family record. This is inhumane. I can just feel
I'm getting a text right now. They don't even let us
walk the yard. - ( clattering sound )
- DAPHNE: I did it! Those are words I never
thought I'd hear Daphne say. I got myself on lockdown. And look what I got. - Ready to kick it?
- You know it. The Dazzling Diazes
are back. Check out my 360. All right. Check out
my double crisscross. One, two, three. I'm so entertainment-starved,
this actually looks fun. <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>That's the funny thing
about being a little kid.</i></font> <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>No matter how big you get,</i></font> <font color="#FFFFFF"><i>you have to remember
the littles.</i></font> ( laughing ) And that's
the Dazzling Diazes. Hey. Thought you were
gonna clean out the garage. I'm done with projects. With all the kids
on lockdown, I'm gonna do what I really
wanna do... nap. Treat yourself, hon. ( cell phone rings ) It's Beast and Lewie's camp. Spare me the details. We'll come get them now. Paid for a week,
they made it a day. Still better than last year.
