Striking a nerve - The father who attacked his daughter's alleged bully | 60 Minutes Australia

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there's no question bullying is shameful behavior that claims to many young Australian lives what's terrifying is the tormentors no longer leave their taunts in the schoolyard technology and social media let bullies follow their victims home the parents the dilemma is how to protect their children last month mark Bladen decided to confront the teenager he thought was bullying his daughter but what started as heated words became an ugly and violent scuffle the outrage that followed though was not what you might expect whatever fucking guys don't ever fucking go come on it's the video that struck a deep parental nerve I just wanted to give him a good old-fashioned talking to after I warned him to stop smiling and there was no change that's when I sneaked a brisbane father confronting the bully he believed was his daughter's tormentor and losing control not proud of it I always suck it in I let my standards drop and you know dr. Jekyll came out mark Bladen had spent months feeling powerless to help his daughter until one day he decided he couldn't stand by and watch it any longer we live in a day of PC political correctness and I hate it I absolutely hate it you know when I was young you treated a lady like a lady and it should be the same way now so it's not hard to have respect for somebody I'm a great believer in karma you give respect you get respect back two weeks later do you get it [Music] one bully quickly turned into many they insulted me about my body here I shouldn't shave called me names like gorilla and King Kong and everything like that so it was intensely personal yeah for six months mark blade ins 15 year old daughter Kalani endured the nastiest of comments you kept it from your parents I told her when he would like bully me at school I only told him that part and they don't really know what he said online because I just I didn't know how to tell him even to this day I don't want to put like all the pressure on them and they captain like stressing out because they already stress out a lot with like school and like work and everything I would go into a room and have a look at tissues everywhere and I was wondering why she had tissues but Kalani's mother Jennifer was worried most evenings as she and Mark watched television Kalani remained in her room as a parent you don't know what's happening in their room you don't want to even go into their room thinking they need their privacy but under that roof the privacy is not their privacy it's the whole world is there looking at them and telling them what they can and can't do and judging people in the school yard and out socially the bullying continued Kalani was pushed she says and spat on and with each new attack Jennifer and marks anger grew and every time kalanick got bullied if the whole family takes it on board frustration just builds up and then the hangar and until I suppose one day you snap you thought a bystander in your own child's destruction yeah yeah then one afternoon a distraught Kalani called mark she was crying she was upset I basically said where is he and she said he's at the skate park and I said all right that's it I'm gonna talk to him and she said no don't you know don't do anything about it but I was adamant because it had just been going off so long and what did you think you were going to say to him all I knew straight away that I was going to give him a good old-fashioned talking to so I I walked down there with purpose with an aggressive kind of demeanor spotted the group and the point you were wanting to make was what I wanted to belittle him in front of his friends the the same way as he always did with Kalani so once you had you'd said all you wanted to say yeah your intention was to leave was yeah I was very very close to leaving and then and then he smiled at me and you found yourself lunging at this yep young person you couldn't stop yourself the meter had gone past maximum so that's when I snapped next thing I knew my hands around his neck and you walked away what were you thinking job done how do you view what Mark did I know what he did was really bad but nothing results in a fire did you become the bully did I become the bully I don't know if I would call it being the bully it was kind of a a one-off incident and I regretted it straightaway I wouldn't say that I was a bully I I would say that I was out of order police arrived that weekend and charged mark with assault but when video of the brawl went viral in the court of public opinion mark was hailed a hero when people claimed your husband was heroic in his actions what did you think he did what I think any parent would do but a lot of parents would disagree maybe I'll rephrase that he'd looking back what he did was not right his initial intention was to go down there and speak to him and you were a Cove with her I was ok with that yes you thought that was fair I think so I don't like to see my daughter sad and crying and telling me that she's useless she can't do anything well how's the bullying stopped yes it has don't for many parents Mark's actions have pierced the heart of a complex and difficult issue reaction has been overwhelmingly sympathetic including from Mark's mates at the local dirt club I've turned orders myself sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands so when Mark exploded and he went to talk to the bully you understand that I definitely understand that and I would hope that he would do it again to be honest you don't condone it but well the same fact he's good to stand up for his family his family comes first to the frustration of what to do about childhood bullying never leaves Quentin Pearson you see a child kitten bullied and is Hootin you want to protect them for the past two years Quentin has been in a world of pain ever since his 14 year old son Cody took his own life after being bullied Quentin is now a parent tortured by what he wished he could have done and what he still can't understand I just don't feel I was there for him and I wish himself why he couldn't I couldn't have come and talked to me about it and you know I didn't think a 14 year old could sing to Mum dead in Taylor for Cody's parents Michelle and Quentin and his sister Taylor his death would have left them struggling for answers if not for this letter if he hadn't left us a letter we would have thought have been a thousand unanswered questions and then his leader he did leave one very important sentence which is what keeps us going for him what is that sentence he wanted everybody to know how bad bullying is that letter it's devastating it important I guess Quentin yeah it's very important wife we didn't have it we wouldn't know why what he is thinking and would be a bit lost so we've got something to work for and try and help other people as parents how do you feel about what's happened angry hmm are you angry at in fear it's kids you're angry at the bullies you view it as cowardly yeah I do it makes me from I get really angry and absolute that yeah that's real easy to sit behind a keyboard and ya type whatever you want mm-hmm they get las' born and raised to Kiwi parents on the outskirts of Brisbane Cody seemed to have it all a handsome sports loving school boy who had plenty of friends from what I've seen on his social media some of the stuff was just about liking a girl one person who didn't know about the bullying was Cody's older sister Taylor she was his only confident did you talk to mom and dad no but I did tell Cody to and he would always go to but could never get there he didn't want them to see him as you able to cope yeah because you know as a parent if you see kid not coping you're gonna freak out and that's what neither of us wanted and do you think that's common for kids to worry about how their parents will react yes in reasonings why Cody's message has been set up the pearsons have set up a foundation called Cody's message it got to the point where Cody absolutely hated school and Taylor takes that message to schools put your hands in the air if you have ever been bullied [Music] so his parents who've seen the very worst of bullying what do you want to happen it needs to be some consequences like everything else in life these are consequence you know and at this stage there's not for bullies so they can just carry on into what to the next child and then ynx child and the next child coming up I'll be grabbing you where no one's around I'll just look like some lowlife what happens when Mark faces cold do you have any regrets I wish I could take it back then and how should Australia deal with bullying I mean there needs to be repercussions to have a real deterrent effect that's next on 16 minutes when the nation saw this video of Brisbane father Mark Bladen confronting the boy he believed was bullying his daughter it struck a chord with pass across Australia and drew attention to the new world of bullying so many families are trying to understand just how serious is online bullying of children well online bullying of children is very serious and we know here in Australia that one in five young Australians are cyber bullied one in five nineteen percent Julian man grant deals with the problem every day so we just had someone from our inquiries line as Australia's a safety commissioner she's been tasked with the job of making the internet a safer place including stopping online bullying is true that a significant number of those who do bully tell their victims to go kill themselves thirty percent of the reports that have come into our office include direct threats of harm targeted a child hello cyber bullying team the e Safety Office acts as a liaison between Australians bullied online and big social media companies like Facebook and Instagram just ask them how they're feeling if they've had any one if they're spoken to anyone about it the trusted adult for instance and there is a helpline where victims can report bullying anonymously if necessary in the three years since it was created the Commission has resolved more than 700 cases in your opinion as the safety commissioner do the laws need to be tougher we're not going to arrest our way out of cyber bullying and that's why the prevention and education is so important we have situation where a father took matters into his own hands and paid a price for that but you can appreciate parents will do all the right things and find it still doesn't stop what do they do I mean I can apps absolutely empathize with them as as a mother of three children myself it's perplexing and it's scary and it's uncharted territory for a lot of us so what would you do well what I would say is that we all have responsibility to get ahead of cyber bullying and to address it as we see that so it's it's not just the parents schools have a duty of care even young people themselves we know that 50% of young people won't even talk to an adult let alone report to a social media site when they're encountering this is it time from your perspective you see this you see what happens online is a time for the bullies to realize there are consequences yeah I know these are children I know this is tough I know it's complex but have we reached a point where bullies need to know there is a consequence yeah I mean there needs to be repercussions to have a real deterrent effect you know my question would be whether or not criminal penalties except for the most egregious cases are warranted and I think you have to look at each case on a case-by-case basis more than ever bullying is proving to be terrifying and nightmarish Hill where parents are left feeling frustrated and powerless what makes you wince most I just looked like some lowlife er and and yeah it just doesn't block me go back in time I wouldn't have been in that situation to start with but you wouldn't have even gone no no it was a stupid thing to do stupid thing mark Bladen was fined $1,000 in brisbin's magistrate's court and offered a written apology to his fourteen-year-old victim the boy he attacked says he continues to be deeply distressed adding that he suffers nightmares and that he himself has been bullied do you have any regrets yeah look god I regret my actions I was baited and unfortunately I let my standards lower for that moment in time and I wish I could take it back but I just yeah into those parents who feel that frustration that you felt yep you would say don't do it you know do the right thing if this story raises issues and you need help you can contact kids helpline on 1-800 double 5 1-800 the federal government's EE Safety Commission helpline can be accessed at WWE city gov a you

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Channel: 60 Minutes Australia

Views: 828,667

Rating: 4.7727575 out of 5

Keywords: Bully, bullying, viral video, parents, Australia, family, social media, school, 60 Minutes, 60 Minutes Australia, Liz Hayes, Brsbane

Id: oH5NjzDLK_k

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Length: 17min 41sec (1061 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 29 2018

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