"We're just wasting time." "And now you think I'm stupid." "You know I don't think that Marissa." "You don't say it, but I know you're thinking it." "Well of course I'm thinking it right now, this whole thing is stupid." "See?" "See what? It is! Who cares if I wanna leave early? Even you barely know her and you're getting mad at me?" "Yea, cause you think I'm annoying you." "Oh my god, this isn't even about us, this is about your coworker's lame potluck that you feel obligated to go to because she has no friends. If we go, that counts. We don't have to stay the whole four hours." "But it is about us, it's about you not understanding what's important to me." "Eating homemade potato salad and playing the Scrabble tournament is important to you?" "This is stupid." "That's what I just said!" "You're stupid." "You know what, I'm willing to let that one go. Can you just tell me if we can leave early or not, please?" "Josh, you tell me." "Look, I'm sorry I brought it up. Can you just decide, and I'll do whatever." "No Josh, not this time. I'm not gonna tell you what to do, because you're just gonna use it against me later saying, 'I always do what you say.' No more." "Hey, this one wasn't my fault. There's no reason for this." "You're right, there is no reason for this." "It wasn't always like this. I can't really remember when it wasn't, but I know for sure we weren't always like this." "She used to be my unicorn." "You know? Unbelievable. Crazy special, the girl I thought could never exist." "But, as time went on from one stage of our relationship to the next, the path that started off so innocent and fun has taken us to... that." "But, like most, we started off as strangers. That's stage one: Meeting. Thanks to a shoelace, actually." "Excuse me!" "Excuse me, your shoelaces are untied." "Oh, oh! Thanks!" "No problem, wouldn't want you to–" I couldn't have played it better even if I'd tried But thank goodness the city hadn't fixed their park trails in five years. I didn't tell her that it was my first time running in about nine months And somehow, we ended up going for almost five miles that day. It's so pathetic to see how guys would do just about anything, for the right girl. But it paid off, because I got her number. We really hit it off that day, I think so at least, I blacked out for a few minutes, but when I woke up I remember feeling like I had made a pretty good impression. "From that point on, we entered stage two: The Chase. Some say it's the best part." All I wanted was to know more about her. All I wanted to do was hangout with her "Ready?" "Ughh..." The only person I wanted to talk to was her. She was the number one priority. "What the hell, man?" And everytime I saw her, butterflies. She was everything that I thought could be perfect in a girl. And as soon as it felt right, "Would you be my girlfriend?" "Yeah." With this simple word, we began our relationship, taking us into stage three: The Honeymoon. Everyone calls it this, and for good reason. It was the time when we could finally fully express our affection to each other, and do all the things we wanted to do as a couple. It was a dream come true. The girl I wanted to be with so, so badly was finally mine. But eventually, the fire cooled and both of us simmered down back to normalcy. By the end of it all, we had a bajillion pictures with each other, knew every detail of our daily lives, and like any normal, healthy couple, we entered stage four: Comfortable. "What do you wanna do tonight?" "I don't know, whatever." Now, being comfortable isn't necessarily bad, it's when we could truly be ourselves. But it depends on what you do with that comfort. Some use it positively, continuing to work at their relationship, and grow together. But, others allow it to create distance. And for Marissa and I, it made us take each other for granted. "Hey! What are you doing, it's Tuesday, Why aren't you dressed?" "Oh yeah, I totally forgot. Can we skip it? I don't–I don't feel like going." "This whole thing was your idea." "I–I know, I just kinda have other things to do, next week, yeah?" "Alright." "You're not gonna get that?" "I'll call her back after this level. Hey, watch out!" Whether it's taking each other for granted, or people changing over time, the bottom line is, someone stops trying, and feelings aren't as strong as before. This could happen over a few months, or a few years. For us, it was about one and a half years when we hit stage five: Tolerance. "When Marissa and I got to this stage, I couldn't believe it. You know, I was pretty disappointed. Somehow, the girl I was so crazy about a year ago had turned into someone who just... wasn't that special anymore. It happened so gradually that I didn't even see it coming, but, there we were. Just tolerating each other." "Gosh, don't even ask me about my day." "I won't." "I swear my coworkers are trying to get me to quit." "Where do you wanna eat tonight?" "Wherever you wanna go." "Can you just decide, I asked you." "And I'm being flexible, you pick!" "Jeez, you're like a five year old, someone has to always tell you what to do." "Normally I'd let that go, but I'm having a bad day too so what did you just say?" Arguing is one thing, but feeling dissatisfied and unhappy with the relationship is another. We tried various times to try and make changes, to fix things, but like so many couples out there, it wasn't enough. We became one of those relationships where it wasn't bad... but it wasn't great... and let me tell you, that's never a good way to describe a relationship. "Well, I guess I'm gonna sleep now." "Ok." "Goodnight." "Night." It wasn't long before we were in stage six: Downhill. There's not much time left once you're here. The effort to try to make things work just, isn't worth it anymore "Problems continue, arguments don't get solved. I don't even really remember what we argued about." "I can't talk to you right now, you're–" "Why won't you just–" "I can't believe that–" "Well how could you just–" What did we argue about? Marissa and I, sad to say, are nearing the end of this stage. What's next is what happens to everyone at some point, the end of the line, the worst stage ever: Breaking Up. I don't know when it'll happen, or how, but I hope we can leave it on good, mutual terms. If that's ever, truly, possible. "I think it's for the best." "Fine." And this is when the two of us will start a new path, one that leads right back to where we started: Strangers. The change will be so drastic, and so blunt, that we'll probably wanna get back together right away. Just to restore what's normal. "Hello?" "Hey, Marissa. I miss you." "Are you drunk?" But this doesn't always happen, and the distance will grow. Eventually, the two of us will move on, or find someone new. "Oh my gosh. Don. Don! Do–Don! Come– Don! Who is that? Who is she with? Tell me who that is." "Sorry, man." And even when we both get over the past, and try to remain friends, things will never be the same. "Josh?" "Hey! It is you!" "Woah, Marissa!" "Hi, nice to see you!" "Yeah, you too. You–still run around here?" "Well, when I visit home, yeah." "Visit?" "Yea, I moved up to San Francisco a couple months ago, but I'm just here to show my boyfriend the park." "Oh, cool." "Oh, he's right here. Josh, this is Alex. Alex, Josh." "Hi." *Dreams to punch Josh* "Nice to meet you, man." "Well, uh, we should catch up some time, I'll talk to you later, okay?" "Sure." Our lives will continue on in different directions, toward the inevitable end: Becoming strangers, again. "And everything we shared will just become fragmented memories. From so long ago, I'll question if it... even really happened. And all that'll be left, is this. A box of random stuff from a faded period of time when this stranger was the most important person in my life." "What a shame." This is to remind you of how hard you fell for me when we first met. Josh, I'm so glad we have each other in our lives. I know that no matter what, we'll always make it through and, and we'll always have tomorrow together. Happy anniversary. "Holy crap!" "What the hell are you doing?" "Sorry, sorry, I'm– I mean, I mean, I'm– I'm sorry, Marissa. It's just the potluck, I don't know why I was being so difficult." "It's whatever." "No, no! It's not whatever, it's important to us. I mean not the potluck, just– This, this is important to us. To me. Let's not do that anymore." "I'm sorry, please?" "Okay." "Yeah? We're okay?" "I'm sorry, I'm being dumb. I'm so sorry– "We're gonna be okay, yeah?" "It's alright, babe." "Do you realize, there's only two options for our future together?" "It's either... "we break up or... "we get married." "Never really thought of that." "Think we'll get married?" "Jeez, that's a loaded question." "Why, you wanna get married to me?" "I don't know right now." "Me neither." "Do you wanna break up with me?" "Course not." "Well, it's gonna be one or the other." "What do you think will happen if we don't end up together?" "Are we gonna hate each other?" "Think we'll keep in touch?" "I think... that, if life separates us, and we end up in totally different places, we'll always remember when our paths aligned for this period of time, and I'll be thankful for that, and hope that wherever you are, you'll be thankful too. And I think that's the best we can wish for. *looks* *screen Fades* *Music/Credits*
This is absolutely true. My girlfriend and I broke up after 6 years and the progression went exactly as was described. Lets just say it's been a pretty rough month.
I kind of hate you right now for showing me where I am in my relationship. Where I have been for the last few years. And where it is going. I've been on the edge of the downhill pulling back for the last 3 years. I'm on the verge of tears about it. I hate you so much.
Thank you.
This was like a modern day Annie Hall. Or a more Asian (500) Days of Summer.
Stage 8: The girl starts sleeping with your friends.
Damn you onions.
You know how everyone says 'tis better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all?'
Fuck them. Fucking TRY IT.
Fuck this movie for being my last relationship. Fuck it for being so beautifully written and performed. And fuck it for being so horribly true.
I'll never understand what tore us apart. Things were perfect - she was the girl of my dreams, I was her best friend. Every moment we'd spend together felt like heaven.
But when we'd fight, it would become almost like we had no relationship, we had no memories. Everything was about the moment - who was right, who had said the wrong thing when, who was being childish. Every picturesque walk in the park, every laugh, it all fades into the night like a dying flame, all in the face of your current anger.
You might get over it at the time. You might get over it a few times. God, you might even get into a routine where you craft some sort of twisted fight-then-makeup-sex ritual. But, ultimately, there will be a breaking point. One of you will find somebody who, in comparison, seems so pure, so special - an untapped reservoir of emotion that brings to mind the beginning of your current relationship. One of you will remember an old fling who's suddenly an appealing prospect. Could it ever blossom into something as beautiful? Likely, no. But at the time, that small seed of doubt is enough to grow into Jack's beanstalk.
Please, to all couples, to anybody who reads this, from one romantic to another - it isn't worth it to argue. She may be wrong, he may be overreacting, whatever. Is your pride worth ending the best thing in your life? Is it worth sacrificing your love over one misspoken sentence? Is it worth it, for that one moment, to vigorously defend not wanting to go out, to be right, if it costs you your relationship? Even if you're in the right - just give up.
The walks in the park, laughing by the beach, dinner at the fanciest restaurant that you couldn't actually afford but only wanted to make her feel special - these are things that you should never take for granted. These are the things that define your relationship, and the love that comes as a result is truly sacred. Remember what you have.
Don't ever let yourself forget what you have.
I think there's another way to look at this movie, or at least one I can relate more to.
Every time he analyzes the relationship, he walks out of it, as if it isn't his. He has vision of "what if" (punching the guy, apologizing, and then you discover the whole last stage was a "what if" instead). I feel like thats the reason it got to that point to begin with.
There was a reason why your girlfriend/boyfriend fell in love with you. not because of your mad game, but because of the feelings you've had in the beginning that you couldn't hide to save your life. These feelings are still there, and if after a fight you know that all you want to do is run after her/him and say "fuck it, i don't know who's right, but I'm sorry" DO IT, screw ego or anything else. Or if you're watching tv and feel like you don't notice each other's presence, just get up and say: "Screw that!, we're going out! I don't know where yet, but let's go!"
I dunno, but I think every stage is changeable, if you don't think about it too hard.
Wow, I found this really touching and meaningful. It made me sad but in a good way I guess. Maybe just a warning against the whole taking eachother for granted thing.