STOP BLAMING YOUR LIFE - Muniba Mazari Best Motivational Speech

you don't have to look good for people you don't have to be perfect just because other people want you to be perfect if your soul is perfect from within that's all right this is all what you want this is all what you need to be our society has made very weird very weird kind of norms to look perfect and great for men it's different for women it's different we think too much about what people say we listen to ourselves too little you know what makes you perfect when you make someone smile you know what makes you perfect when you try to do something good for the people around you you know what makes you perfect when you feel someone's pain and how beautiful pain is that it connects you with people no other medium can connect you with others but pain that's why i always say that i'm in pain and that's the blessing in disguise for me if you think that your life is hard and you're giving up on that because you think your life is unfair think again because when you think that way you are being unfair to your own self when you share your story and it doesn't make you cry that means you have healed the real happiness doesn't lie in success money fame it lies within real happiness lies in gratitude i believe in the power of words many people speak before they think but i know the value of words the words can make you break you they can heal your soul they can damage you forever so i always try to use the positive words in my life wherever i go they call it adversity i call it opportunity they call it weakness i call it strength they call me disabled i call myself differently able they see my disability i see my ability there are some incidents that happen in your life and those incidents are so strong that they change your dna those incidents or accidents are so strong that they break you physically they deform your body but they transform your soul those incidents break you deform you but they mold you into the best version of you made people realize that sometimes problems are not too big we are too small because we cannot handle them we always expect ease from life we have this amazing fantasy about life this is how things should work this is my plan it should go as per my plan if that doesn't happen we give up so my dear friends let me tell you one thing i never wanted to be on the wheelchair never thought of being on the wheelchair i was always aspiring to do bigger things but had no idea that for that i have to pay the price to be where i am today it's a very heavy price this life is a test and a trial and tests our trials are never supposed to be easy so when you are expecting ease from life and life gives you lemons then you make the lemonade and then do not blame life for that because you were expecting ease from a trial trials make you a stronger better person it is okay to be scared it is okay to cry everything is okay but giving up should not be an option they always say that failure is not an option failure should be an option because when you fail you get up and then you fail and then you get up and that keeps you going that's how humans are strong failure is an option should be an option but giving up is not never we have this thing in mind we call it perfection we want everything perfect we want ourselves to be perfect there is this image in our head about everything perfect life perfect relationships perfect career perfect amount of money that we need to earn no matter what nothing is perfect in this world we all are perfectly game perfect and that is perfectly all right that's all right we were sent here not to become the perfect people those people who tell you how to look perfect even those people are imperfect trying to fight this fear of looking imperfect in all those imperfections you have to listen to your heart we are all in pursuit of something in life some people chase fame some people long to have more and more money some people wish to live a life with endless joy and some people crave to have peace and contentment in their heart but somehow or the other we are all in pursuit of something and in this pursuit we tend to forget to celebrate what we have in this very moment this beautiful gift of life i received so many messages so much love from all of you and so many prayers i also hear people saying that we want money but walk again we wish and pray that you walk someday you stand with your family and friends come and i look at them but deep inside i ask myself is this something that i truly wish for to be honest because i have accepted myself the way i am i have made peace with the reality that this wheelchair is my reality it's the part of my body now and i'm totally fine with it you must have heard a word or maybe you must have read it somewhere [Music] disability or a person with disability being a wheelchair user myself i don't believe in the word disability or a disabled person and i'll tell you why every time i read this word somewhere or if i hear it i cringe a bit because every time if we put the word this with someone's ability we are knowingly or unknowingly questioning their abilities you see we live in a world which tends to celebrate sameness and let's be honest this world is still trying to figure out how to accept people who are unique people who are differently able so when we diss someone's abilities it doesn't seem right it doesn't sound polite it doesn't sound respectful so this word disability or a person with disability does not exist in my dictionary let's delete it from our dictionaries let's change the narrative now is the time every step that i take in my wheelchair and every word that i will say it's going to pave a path for those who want to do something in life people who have the courage and resilience to face the adversity and also it's going to pave the path for those who are ambitious life is a trial every time you realize that i was 18 years old when i got married and this thing i'm sharing for the very first time on an international level i was 18 years old when i got married i belonged to a very conservative family a beloved family where good daughters never say known to their parents my father wanted me to get married and all i said was if that makes you happy i'll say yes and of course it was never a happy marriage just about after two years of getting married about nine years ago i met a car accident somehow my husband fell asleep and the car fell in the ditch [Music] he managed to jump out saved himself i'm happy for him but i stayed inside the car and i sustained a lot of injuries the list is a bit long don't get scared i'm perfectly fine now radius ulna of my right arm were fractured the wrist was fractured shoulder bone and collarbone were fractured my whole rib cage got fractured and because of the rib cage injury lungs and liver were badly injured i couldn't breathe i lost urine and bowel control that's why i have to wear the bag wherever i go [Music] but that injury that changed me and my life completely as a person and my perception towards living my life was the spine injury three vertebrae of my backbone were completely crushed and i got paralyzed for the rest of my life one day doctor came to me and he said well i heard that you wanted to be an artist but you ended up being a housewife i have a bad news for you you won't be able to paint again because your wrist and your arm are so deformed you won't be able to hold the pen again and i stayed quiet next day doctor came to me and said your spine injury is so bad you won't be able to walk again i took a deep breath and i said it's all right the red state doctor came to me and said because of your spine injury and the fixation that you have in your back you won't be able to give birth to a child again [Music] that day i was devastated i still remember i asked my mother why me and that is where i started to question my existence why am i even alive what's the point of living i cannot walk i cannot paint fine i cannot be a mother and we have this thing in our heads being women that we are incomplete without having children i am going to be an incomplete woman for the rest of my life what's the point people are scared they think i will get divorced what is going to happen to me why me why am i alive we all try to chase this tunnel we all do this because we see light in the end of the tunnel which keeps us going my dear friends in my situation there was a tunnel that i had to roll on but there was no light and that is where i realized that the words have the power to heal the soul my mother said to me [Music] this too shall pass god has a greater plan for you i don't know what it is but he surely has i was discharged and i went back home and i went back home and i realized that i have developed a lot of pressure ulcers on my back and on my hip bone i was unable to sit there were a lot of infections in my body a lot of allergies so doctors wanted me to lie down on the bed straight for not six months for not one year for two years i was bedridden confined in that one room looking outside the window listening to the birds chirping and thinking maybe there will be a time when we'll be going out with the family and enjoying the nature that was the time where i realized how lucky people are but they don't realize there are always turning points in your life there was a rebirth day that i celebrated after two years and two and a half months when i was able to sit on a wheelchair that was the day when i had the rebirth i was a completely different person i still remember the day i sat on the wheelchair for the first time knowing that i'm never going to leave this knowing that i won't be able to walk for the rest of my life i saw myself in the mirror and i talked to myself and i still remember what i said i cannot wait for a miracle to come and make me walk i cannot sit in the corner of the room crying cribbing and begging for mercy because nobody has time so i have to accept myself the way i am the sooner the better and that day i decided that i'm going to live life for myself i am not going to be that perfect person for someone i am just going to take this moment and i will make it perfect for myself and you know how it all began that day i decided that i'm going to fight my fears we all have fears fear of unknown fear of known fear of losing people fear of losing help money we want to excel in career we want to become famous we want to get money we are scared all the time so i wrote down one by one all those fears and i decided that i'm going to overcome these fears one at a time you know when you end up being on the wheelchair what's the most painful thing that's another fear that people on the wheelchair the people who are differently able have in their hearts but they never share i'll share that with you the lack of acceptance people think that they will not be accepted by other people because we in the world of perfect people are imperfect you all are thriving in your careers you have bigger dreams and aspirations in life always remember one thing on the road to success there is always we not me do not think that you alone can achieve things no there is always another person who is standing behind you maybe not coming on the forefront but behind you praying for you and supporting you never lose that person never when you think your glass is half empty come on your glass is half full it's all in here and here there are so many people in the world who are dreaming to live a life that you are living right now you have no idea embrace each and every breath that you are taking celebrate your life live it don't die before your death we all die we live this one routine of a day for 75 years and we call it life no that's not life if you're still thinking why you have been sent here if you're still juggling with the concept of why you are here you haven't lived yet you work hard you make money you do it for yourself that's not life you go out you seek for people who need your help you make their lives better you become that sponge which can absorb all the negativity and you become that person who can emit beautiful positive vibes and when you realize that you have changed someone's life and because of you this person didn't give up that is the day when you live always we were talking about gratitude why i smile all the time i cry all night when nobody sees me because i'm a human and i have to keep the balance and i smile all day because i know that if i will smile i can make people smile that keeps me going be grateful for what you have and you will always always end up having more but if you'll cry and if you'll for the little things that you don't have or the things that you have lost you will never ever have enough sometimes we are too busy thinking about the things that we don't have that we forget to cherish the blessings that we have i'm not saying that i'm not healthy and that makes me unlucky but yes it is hard it is hard when i say that i cannot walk it is hard to say when i wear this bag it hurts but i have to keep going because never giving up is the way to live always live your life fully accept yourself the way you are be kind to yourself be kind to yourself i'll repeat be kind to yourself and only then you can be kind to others love yourself and spread that love life will be hard there will be turmoils there will be trials but that will only make you stronger never give up the real happiness doesn't lie in money or success or fame i have this all i never wanted this real happiness lies in gratitude so be grateful be alive and live every moment today just because i'm in pain and i'm on the wheelchair i work for children being the head of csr for a company we conduct medical camps in far-flung areas of pakistan where so many kids die because they don't have medical facilities and i personally believe just because they cannot afford to live doesn't mean we'll let them die so we give them money we give them medical treatment we try to heal their wounds physical and emotional and i also work for the beautiful people we call them third gender the transgender community of pakistan you know what connects me with them all my imperfections when i go and i hug them they never judge me and this very good friend of mine her name is bijli she calls herself electricity and i said are you electricity she says no i'm lightening i'm as strong as lightning because we have very bad power outage so she doesn't want me to call her electricity so she says i am very strong i am thunder i'm lightning she came to me and the first time i hugged her she said you are just like me and i said yes i am like you because to people we are so imperfect so how beautiful these imperfections are that because of these imperfections you can connect with people then why are we all running after being perfect what's the point every time i go in public i always smile it's always a big toothy smile on my face and people ask me don't you get tired of smiling all the time what's the secret i always say one thing that i have stopped worrying about the things that i have lost the people that i've lost things and people who were meant to be with me are with me and sometimes somebody's absence make you a better person cherish their absence it's always it's always a blessing in disguise i always say that people are so lucky they don't even realize you must be thinking okay you're lucky in what sense well the breath that you just took was a blessing embrace it don't invest yourself in the wrong people because when you invest yourself in the wrong people they break you into pieces that torn you apart in such a way that it takes years and years to get back together and also i'll tell her that while you're busy making amazing plans in your life my dear prepare yourself for worse because life is so unpredictable just be prepared we all tend to invest ourselves in relationships and as i said if you are doing something right with the wrong person nothing good will turn out and deep inside we women are quite intuitive we know that it's not going anywhere it's okay to be on your own you are stronger than you think don't worry about that and wait for the right person let the right person come to you there's no rush are you in a good relationship with yourself do you love your own company if you are miserable alone i'm sorry your partner will be miserable with you so we need to understand that we need to love our own company only then people will love to enjoy our company too and don't rush wait for the right person because if it's meant to be it will be who is on social media who's using facebook everyone have you ever put your relationship status complicated my relationship with myself before i was here was so complicated it was all about people it was never about me there was no me anywhere you see people's pleasure the person who just wants to make everyone happy knowing that's not worth it you just keep doing it keep doing it and yes your relationship eventually with yourself becomes complicated and then now i don't know where there are people around me or not but i'm me now i'm more me now time is a beautiful teacher it filters out the extras from your life including people being in the wheelchair in 12 years i've met three categories of people number one category is of the people who see you in the misery in pain and they back off they're like we are gone we can't handle i respect them for their honesty then there is another category of the people who are not there with you but they just want to cling on with you all the time they're so weak that they try to stay in your shadow liberate yourself from those people because they are toxic for you don't let them cling on to you because they're not there to help you liberate them liberate yourself and then there is third category these beautiful people who are so selfless that when they see you in pain they stand next to you they've got your back they don't share the limelight they're just there for you these are your people value them so yes there are three categories of people try to surround yourself with those who are real and you will feel real i pity those who see their failure in your success you know these critics they were once dreamers they just wanted to achieve something that today you have but they gave up and they started becoming jealous of you pray for them because they're in a lot of pain i've never claimed to be strong all the time i'm one of those few people who have always acknowledged vulnerability because when we are vulnerable we are humans there are days when i don't feel like getting up in the morning there are days when i don't feel like sitting in the wheelchair and face the world but then what i do is like i make sure that i don't sulk in that negativity you see we're humans and there are days when we fall when we when we break when we fail and then there are days when we rise when we heal ourselves and then we try again and again and again and we try not to give up and all this journey all that process of falling and getting back up defines our journey and defines who we are i want to be remembered as an empath somebody who just didn't say that i feel your pain but i want people to see that when i say this i mean it and as far as my life story is concerned i don't know how my story will end maybe it will never end but yes nowhere in my text the world will ever read i gave up [Music] have you watched tangled tangled rapunzel her journey how she comes out of confinement for the first time she goes out and see the world awaits her you know what that song i see the light it reminds me of the times when i was bedridden i used to hear the kids playing outside i couldn't see i used to hear thunderclap i couldn't see the storms i used to hear rain falling on the ground i couldn't see it and i missed it but when i sat in the wheelchair i stepped out went close to the nature everything changed whatever i've been through whatever i've experienced all the mistakes that i've made all the adventures that i've experienced in my life have shaped me into this person that i am today and i'm so blessed and i'm i feel really really honored to have lived that life a life full of childs turmoils pain betrayals success failure and it has shaped me probably into the best version of me so it's a blessing and i wouldn't want to change even a single thing about my life i think it's not about dealing with the negative comments it's about dealing with negativity in general and the best way to deal with negativity is to avoid it or ignore it i know it's not easy sometimes i know it hurts you but thinking of those who are giving those negative comments i really pray for them because probably they couldn't achieve what they wanted to and when they see you growing and thriving in life it creates more negativity and bitterness in them that's why i say pray for those who see their failure in your success it takes a lot of courage it takes a lot of energy to hate someone and those who hate people are already living a miserable life so you know we all should pray for them and should move on it's a huge responsibility titles like she's inspirational or she's the iron lady sometimes these titles weigh you down you know i always say that just because whatever i'm left with if i'm managing to carry it with grace does not mean it's not heavy it is heavy you know life happens every day there are so many highs and as many lows and sometimes we are not 110 but also when people look at me and they call me an inspiration it's really really overwhelming it's also humbling and i really feel blessed but at the same time it's really scary the best way to stay positive and to be contented is the attitude of gratitude that's the key you know i read this beautiful quote somewhere which says that i've never seen a bitter person who is grateful and a grateful person who is bitter so be grateful i know there are times when you don't feel like being grateful there are times when you want to question why where when how but there is always always something to be grateful for you know i have lost so much in life what i have gained so far is way beyond what i have lost so every time when i think of what i have i'm more grateful i'm more contented and i'm more happy so if you really want to be happy and if you want to live a fulfilled life make sure that your heart is full of crap i remember those remarks those remarks have left scars on my soul and it's really hard to heal them so those remarks had two different extremes the first extreme was i heard people saying oh she's too pretty to be in the wheelchair and the other extreme was oh she must have done something wrong and that's her punishment that's why she ended up in the wheelchair for the rest of her life you know and those were really painful remarks even now when people ask me that when we look at someone who is differently abled what should we say how are we supposed to talk to them and i always tell them why is it important to say something all the time can we just don't stare at them can we just look at them and smile and move on i think that's the best way to do it let's practice silence more because when we speak we probably don't don't think and i have made peace with the fact that most of the people don't think before they speak so yes those remarks were hurtful they still are but in last 12 years i've learned to be more patient and more forgiving betrayal itself is very painful and when people hide their betrayal that hurts even more but if you have experienced betrayal in life we all have all i would like to say is that look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you certainly deserve better so just straighten your crown you

Channel: Motivation to Arise

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Id: BE1by-hQDMA

Length: 30min 8sec (1808 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 17 2021