Steve Harvey - Should a wife take her husband's last name?

hey welcome back everybody up I'm back with fellow talk-show host and my man the man himself dr. Phil now as you know this guy doesn't fool around when he hands out advice this is he is probably the best in the business at this and so we got some guests here that's looking for his no-nonsense take on that situation so please welcome Brittany and Lauren okay uh Brittany let's start with you what's going on with you guys hi Steve hi field how are ya good see it nice to see you guys too okay so me and my wonderful boyfriend here we've been dating for over a year now and as we talk about our future and thought talks about marriage we've kind of have a little issue here and there so he's traditional and I'm a modern woman he feels that I should be at home taking care of the children and that he should be the breadwinner but I think that we should be a unit that there are no gender roles so what we do I actually would like to also be the breadwinner also feel that we should take care of the children together one of the biggest issues we hit was about marriage he thinks that I should take his complete last name I've talked about hyphenating my last name he feels that the marriage watch me she speak by the way we're saying okay do you speak for him yeah I was letting her get her part of it out and then I was gonna give you how I felt because I want you to hear exactly how she feels first before I say anything yeah I think I got the picture here so what's your side of this my side of it is I feel that as the man in today's society a lot of women do have power they do have you know we're equals but in my house personally me I want you to be the one that can take care of my kids take care of my household and still you can be independent do what you're gonna do work but at the end of the day when I come home I will I would like something to eat I would like my house cleaned I would like my kids taken care of I can help out I will never sit back and act like I can't do anything so you you would give her permission to be independent That's not me giving her it's not yes I mean if you want to put it that way yes well it's what you said I as long as you do what I want you to do then you can go play independent I mean technically if you if you want to go technical yeah but at the end of the day we're unit so therefore I will bring my side and she will also bring her side but at the end of the day I can cook for my psyche and do for myself it's just what I would rather is what I would rather hurt you yeah how long y'all been dating over a year a year yeah yeah how's that working for you it's great great it's great you know swings you go simple head like we've learned to a certain extent to compromise it's just that when we got to the point of understanding we really love each other and talking about the future that we realized that this is a something we got or there was one key word out if everything both of you have said that troubles me more than anything else either one of you said one word that jumped out to me that that was the most toxic word out of everything either of you have said it's got two letters and the word is my because you said I want her to take care of my house I want her to take care of my kids I want her to have my dinner ready my my my oh my that's the problem what do you think dr. Harvey I can't tell you the pain you've got to be in sir I can't even tell you what's up the road for you man Oh see you all are far away on some major issues she's a modern woman she wants to work you want her to stay home so you have something eat when you come home that probably hire your mother and father did it correct yeah that's what you've been seeing oh that was cool back there was like it was real cool my mom and dad was growing up times have changed just like the book life code says we're in a different thing I think it takes two incomes to make it now far as your name getting hyphenated I understand his position on that cuz a man feels like that's the ultimate sacrifice of himself is to get married and to take his name you know if you want to keep your last name you got then you don't marry your daddy I'm now wit him on the name thing but he gonna lose that other one yeah well it's not going to make any difference we talked about negotiation you know she's obviously highly intelligent drop-dead gorgeous got a lot of things going for right right that's questions have yeah so you do realize she's a prized egg yeah yeah I mean she's great and you got to go into marriage with one attitude you got to wake up every day put it on your mirror if you have to all y'all put this on your mirror you ought to look out every day you ought to start your day saying what can I do today to make my marriage better what can I do today to make her happier we're going to do today to make him happier well you got to start out where you're moving towards each other he has things that you know a lot of women would say this is it what a catch here this guy wants me to stay home and nurture our family and take care of things how blessed is it might have somebody that wants me to do that it's not right or wrong it's just you got to find somebody with whom those values are compatible and this is not so you either negotiate some middle ground and you got to do that with a very important concept emotional integrity don't bait-and-switch don't tell him what he wants to hear to get married and then switch don't tell her when you hear to get married and then once you get the paperwork filled out you go back to what you were doing you can't do that have emotional integrity don't make a deal and change it if y'all can't solve this trust me walking down the aisle and filling out some paperwork at the courthouse he's not going to fix this you got to negotiate this and there's not a right or wrong you are not wrong to want a stay-at-home mom you're not wrong to want to be a career woman that balances your home and your career you've just got to negotiate some middle ground but do not do this because it won't last a year I'm telling you y'all ought to just keep dating yeah cuz y'all like y'all y'all like it like this right now right we're fine right now when I stay down stay down yeah don't come over here get in this here you don't want in this he'll see his wife my wife they run our house don't come over here yeah there's that ain't highs going work you

Channel: Steve TV Show

Views: 2,709,232

Rating: 4.8566098 out of 5

Keywords: Steve, dr phil, steve harvey daytime, tv, woman, last name, comedy, harvey, dating, wife, marriage, steve harvey, steve, counseling, funny, husband, man, Harvey, humor, steve harvey show

Id: LN-RNYgMWsw

Length: 7min 3sec (423 seconds)

Published: Tue May 14 2013