STDs And Affairs: What Marriage Was Really Like In The 1900s | Love and Marriage | Absolute History

the Romantic idea of a happy marriage that would last a lifetime has never been more tested than in the 20th century this three-part series celebrates the enduring power of an age-old institution that has survived into the Modern Age of individual freedom and affluence We Begin by taking a new look at marriage during the first half of of the century when the wedding day was often the culmination of a long courtship and finally a proposal I arranged to meet her sat down on a bench and said darling I've got 25 quid will you marry me and so she became my fiance life is when this was an ERA when the ideal of romantic love in marriage had to withstand the harsh realities of a world very different to today yet many marriages were defined by friendship rather than conflict and strife Above All Else couples wanted to provide a stable and loving home for their children this was even true of those who struggled to bring up large Ames on the bread line I did not want a great large family it was just a case of what God send you've got to put up with and God sent me all these kids and I'd got to put up with them and I brought them up and I didn't ask God man of the devil for help to bring him up I brought him up myself my husband and I he worked for him and I looked after him so what more could we want despite the separation and tragedy of two world wars most marriages not only survived some became even stronger a commitment to see things through whatever challenges lay ahead bonded couples together for life in the most powerful way how does one describe the feeling that you have of being complete when the other person is with you then you feel whole I'm very very glad I loved my husband and I was lucky in getting rage and a man like [Music] rage at the beginning of the 20th century most girls grew up believing it was their Destiny to one day fall in love get married and have children Victorian attitudes to innocence and sexual Purity ensured that many girls and boys would remain ignorant of the basic facts of life as ideals of ladylike and gentlemanly behavior will Pur down through the generations this is the Norfolk country estate where writer Diana atill spent much of her childhood dreaming of one day meeting her own Prince Charming my granny had very firm ideas I don't know whether she told me or whether my mother told me but granded believed that no lady could possibly let a man kiss her unless they were going to get married unless she was in love with him she wouldn't like it unless she was in love with him and no gentleman of course would dream of kissing a girl unless he was going to marry her because he was in love and this was what her daughters were brought up believing and I think my mother was this ideal of romantic love had long been the stuff of popular fiction many couples expected to fall in love at first sight like Diana's mother and father he fell in love with her on site and I think it was in the Conservatory halfway through the dance he kissed her whereupon of course my mother who enjoyed it immensely she'd never been kissed by anybody it was terribly exciting and so she thought she was so excited and delighted to being kissed by this extremely nice young man that she thought she was in love with him she must be because she'd let him kiss her and according to my grandmother that meant she was in love with him convinced that they were in love with each other Diana's parents were married in 1916 totally unprepared for what was to follow she hadn't a clue of what sex was going to be like and I must say I think it's quite possible my father hadn't either his Colonel wrote a letter to all the young officers who joined the regiment and one of the things he said was that there would always be plenty of sport of every kind that he encouraged his young officers to indulge in football tennis Cricket hunting of course and riding but he did not like young men who spent a lot of time messing about in London that meant women and so I'm quite certain my father hadn't spent a lot of time anything about in London so it's quite likely that he was as virginal as my mother was it's likely too that many of the young single men who volunteered to serve in the first world World War were also virgin soldiers they' been brought up to believe that a man had to be patriotic and protective towards women and children if he wanted a wife this ideal of Manliness saw War as a great adventure and an opportunity to prove courage and Valor encouraging some boys to lie about their age on joining up like 17-year-old George L my captain sent a sergeant out to me he said Le we're going to France he said and we don't want you crying when we when you get over there say you're not old enough he say because it won't happen you won't come back so say it now I said I'm ging The Lads totally unprepared for what was to come the horror of trench warfare shattered the innocence of a generation of young men George narrowly survived the slaughter of the battle of the S suffering from Shell Shock he was discharged and sent to work on the land in Dorset but then life completely changed for George at the age of 20 he fell in love for the first time with the daughter of his land lady her name was Ella and uh we we courted for eight months and uh we came in at the back door together and uh I said will you marry me she was [Laughter] shook so then we decided when we went indoors and we gave the news to the mother law and she clapped she clapped here the lasting memory of the War for George lth was not Valor Or Glory but the true love which he had found with his sweetheart Ellen their wedding day was on November the 11th 1918 which unbeknown to them turned out to be Armistice Day got married and as we came out we see all the flags flying we thought it was for us and it wasn't for as arm Li M but we got married [Music] yeah she was B first lonely never strayed from that day to this some men did stray however and official information films were quick to point out the dangers posed by Loosely aons staying true to a fiance or wife these films warned was the key to avoiding sexually transmitted disease like VD for which there was no cure at the [Music] time emotional control was the only option for those like Diana ael's parents who was stuck in a sexually incompatible marriage she never did actually find him physically attractive and this was the secret of how they you they you made the best of it in those days if this happened but this was a reason why that their marriage although he she always knew he was a very nice man but she did not like sex with him which was an underlying tension in their marriage from then on which we as children of course we didn't know what it was but we sensed always that there was this something wrong between them it was only much later that Diana discovered what had happened between her mother and father sir one of his fellow officers and my mother began an affair and she discovered during this what sex was really like and how and that she loved it it was all right but this affair came to light it was a frightful climate must it must have been ghastly she had become pregnant and my father being an extremely honorable and kind and good man did accept it and my sister patience was born and um one of the reasons why by the time I was 18 I guessed that my sister was not my father's daughter one of the reasons was he was always so much nicer to her than he was and he was nice to all of us but he was specially specially nice to her and that was I figured if he he would have done that because he wasn't going to blame the child Diana's parents stayed together for life in an era when divorce was very difficult and dishonorable [Music] since before the first world war the suffragette movement had been demanding rights for women as a way to create more equal marriages and a more equal and better world and although most women over 30 would gain the vote in 1918 social changes were slow incoming many accepted their parents would help them choose their husband like hetti Bower who grew up in an Orthodox Jewish Family I just took it for granted that one day it would happen I didn't spend time dwelling on it I was a very uh practical hockey was my great joy and I was hockey captain of the school and that that occupied me my parents would probably find me a suitable young man I would look at his photograph and decide or all several photographs and pick which one but heti's views on life and love were about to change inspired by the rise of a new political force in British life the labor and Trade union movement the first world war had not brought an end to Poverty unemployment and appalling housing conditions as many politicians had promised so an impassioned young heti joined the ranks of the labor party in London's East End as a volunteer collecting subscriptions door too I went to number 60 mon you Road and a little woman with bright blue eyes said Mr n b nobody called ENB what's it about and I said well I'm from the labor party oh she then she said that's our rage she called up the passage R ra there's somebody here from the labor and left me and this young very goodlooking young man with that most charming smile and my first reaction immediately was Oh What A pity he's not Jewish heti soon discovered that re not only shared her politics he also shared her passion for the countryside and music [Music] their love gave heti the strength to resist her parents initial disapproval of her non-jewish boyfriend his kindness his courtesy his warmth for Humanity you felt you couldn't help but feel it in the 1920s those who lived and worked in the countryside had fewer choices of partner than in the cities a sweetheart would often be someone met at the local school or at work on a local farm this was how Mary and Atkinson came to fall in love in the remote rothu Valley in the Lake District where she'd grown up in 1922 she was working as a farm servant when she met her first love we knew one another when we were 12 we went to the same school and when I was 17 I went to this place and lo and behold my husband was The Horseman [Music] there I always liked him and he was a big tall goodlook blog and I used to go into my own bedroom at night I used to think I wonder if he lost me out I was allowed to go out on Sunday afternoon and I could go to church if I wanted to it took oh five or six months before he got to the stage you saying oh don't go to church when I've had me tea up at home I'll come down and we'll have a walk across the field after we've been walking for a while and we admired the flowers and and the trees and that he got a bit closer and put his arm around me and we walked and I put my arm around the back of him and we walked quite close together as we were striding across the field I slipped and he grabbed me in it both hands and he kissed me on that bank that was the the first time I can remember he ever kissed me after a 2-year courtship Marian and Bill married in 1924 and their first baby arrived a year later but this was no romantic rural Paradise life was hard and dominated by work and constant childbearing in remote areas there was little knowledge of contraception and pregnancy and child birth was accepted fatalistically Marian had six children in quick succession yet she still managed to create a stable Family Life working almost every day with her husband on the farm when I found out I was pregnant again I used to say to my husband oh God not again however we're going to manage but we did manage it was just blooming hard work and that was the end of it and and sometimes you think what the devil am I doing all this for and getting nothing out of it but you say we were getting something out of it and when you're married to a man and been married to him for years youve got to pull with him I mean so could you have stood by and seen your husband work his fingers to the Bone without helping no I had to book in and do men's work work it was hard work blooming hard work and I couldn't I didn't agree with all of it but I did it love on the Dole was even harder to sustain in the 1920s and 30s Britain suffered mass unemployment as traditional Industries like textiles ship building and coal mining declined with unemployment reaching 3 million the self-esteem of a generation of young men who believed it was their duty to be a bread winner took a serious blow most jobs on offer were shortterm and unskilled as yorkman Robert Williamson discovered they were all casual jobs which you got eight weeks you get eight works with your local Council we used to call it 8 weeks test work you know You' be naing laying cable you know everybody were going on to electricity in them days and there was always jobs going digging the payements up and laying high tension cables skill men were doing we were doing the digging and filling in you felt embittered but you see it was common place when I got married I didn't have a job 19th of December 1931 poverty surveys into working class life in the 1930s revealed one key factor in family survival through hard times the love and labor of the wife and mother her skills in cooking cleaning washing and housekeeping were respected in the control she was often given over the family finances John Selenas grew up in Liverpool I always thought of poverty as my mother's purse which contained the wealth of the family imagine the wealth of the family was in that purse and it was put in on payday and it had to last till the next payday and very very often it didn't and when the last penny was gone from the purse that was it no money meant the rent collector couldn't be paid on his weekly visit but every mother knew the best time honored way to avoid him we would hear him approach from afar and the doors would go and then the next door would go and then everything must be silent and he would appear at your door in the shape of the shadow of the two legs between the bottom of the door and the lobby and then that clap would come on your door and and all was silent silent silent and after a while it would go again twice and then it would you would hear it go further down the street and we all breathe again then it was a lovely day when you could pay the rent oh door was open everybody happy in the house [Music] you even welltoo families who enjoyed what seemed to be an idilic life in the Countryside could not escapee the economic turmoil of the 1930s Diana ail's family inheritance anded down from one generation to the next was dwindling first her parents found it difficult to come to terms with their reduced circumstances but Diana believed that marriage would save her from having to work for a living we ourselves in my family were always a bit short of money and there was a terrible time in the bank said my mother was extravagant my father was very careful the bank told them they must cash another check at one point I remember Panic stations all around because um we didn't have much money we we felt and I was being told from when I was a child you know when you grow up you'll have to earn your own living which US strike me as being rather shocking considering what I was surrounded by at that time but I thought oh well I suppose that'll be so accepting of course I'd be married by then say my husband will keep me young ladies like Diana usually found prospective Marriage Partners from a closed circle of eligible young men they met at balls dances and dinners when she was 17 Diana went to a dance with Tony a student at Oxford University with whom she'd secretly fallen in love driving home after the dance Diana wondered if he felt the same way about [Music] her there was a level crossing and the train was coming so we stopped at the level crossing and at the level crossing Tony didn't just put his arm around me but he kissed me and to this day I can remember it was rather a disappointing kiss because I had expected my first kiss would be a sort of rapture but he had been sitting with a cold air blowing in on his face and his lips were cold and rather sort of sticky and I thought well that's not much fun and then I remembered reading somewhere I think it was in one of of Thomas Hardy books first kisses are usually disappointing oh that's all right Thomas Hardy said first kisses are disappointing so that's all right before May is upon us let's take a look at wedding Styles in a time of economic uncertainty the Ure of true love and the Glamorous white wedding became even more captivating but influenced by the new ideals of feminism and socialism a growing number of modern women like hetti Bower wanted something much more simple and unconventional so heti got married in her local registry office Wednesdays was the early closing day for that area of clam and so we arranged to get married on Wednesday afternoon and my sister Anita was um disapproved of the Modern Woman marrying she you know thought marriage was totally unnecessary one campaign which helped to define the modern woman's attitude to marriage was the Family Planning movement inspired by Mary stopes she emphasized the importance of contraception in preventing unplanned large families and established the first birth control clinic in London in 1921 coming from a family of 10 heti was determined not to fall into the same trap as her mother I knew I was never never going to go in for a family that size so I had to take precautions about becoming pregnant I didn't want um to have a baby before I had saved quite an um an amount of money so that I could be at home with the baby for at least 2 years after bir it was in the countryside that large families remained more commonplace here the benefits of Modern Family Planning took effect much more slowly but few families grew as large as that of Marian Atkinson in the Lake District she and her husband Bill raised 15 children children when they came as quick as he came to me got a burden at times and you used to feel you can't put up with any more of it I've had enough and I'm going to run away I've said many a time in my married life I'm going to run away and I'd walk out of the back door and I'd look at the door and I'd think well I have no money and nowhere to go so I'd better go back in so what could you do I mean said don't don't get me wrong that life wasn't all roses cuz it wasn't we had our ups and down now fall outs so many a time over the children Des the isolation and the unrelenting nature of farm work surprisingly the shared hardship between husband and wife often created a strong sense of solidarity in these unremittingly tough times marriages had to be equally robust they were all in bed by aast well my husband and I used to go to bed 9 to aast so we had an hour on our own we used to sit each side of the fireplace and discuss things you can't discuss in front of children or talk about how we were managing or what we would like to do or where we were going next or uh just things between me and him that are what we would have liked to have done or where we would have liked to have been we did discuss all these things but we never let the children know we never let them think we were discontent we used to NE like to make them feel they were a contented family happy contented family [Music] this was the 30s image of the ideal family Suburban middle class and built on the solid foundation of a father at work a full-time mother and two children but during the economic depression the love and commitment of comfortable middleclass couples would also be tested to the limit when Denise Robertson's family were plunged into poverty after her father's company went bankrupt her mother was determined to put a brave face on it when things got really bad she would sit down and play the piano and the song she used to play was spread a little happiness even though the darkest clouds are in the sky you mustn't sigh and you must and cry spread a little happiness till clouds roll by life is wonderful when you love Denise and sister came to believe that as in the movies true love was the key to the happiness of her mother and father he used to come home for lunch and when it was time for him to go back they would go into the hall and my sister and I we would run up the stairs and look through the bars and scream Hollywood Hollywood because they were locked in one another's arms kissing and they couldn't bear to part for him to go back after lunch so I think that was a fair Dee a fair degree of passion in that relationship come along now into bed got a good night kiss for Daddy night night it made me realize that a good marriage could withand whatever came against it from outside because we were being battered from outside by all kinds of things the lack of money the the fact that they had come down in the world which I think had a profound effect on them I don't think my father ever really recovered from it in 1936 Diana rill went up to Oxford University and soon immersed herself in the Privileges and pleasures of university [Music] life as an 18-year-old woman Diana had lost none of her enduring seriousness about marrying the right man her relationship with Tony had developed slowly and steadily he was the man she loved Tony had by now joined the RAF but although he was stationed in Lincolnshire this didn't prevent him from coming to Oxford on regular visits he used to fly down from Grandam where he was stationed which was terribly dashing compared to what he else my young man would fly down and would come and take me out and we used to have lovely times for Diana her relationship with Tony had reached a turning point things warmed up gently to the point where at the end of one term we spent our first night in bed together as a matter of course R but of course no question of of telling anybody and very soon afterwards we got engaged the taboo about sex before marriage remained as strong as ever and early sex education films were warning young women I believe you're only amusing yourself men were only after one thing all this is a game to you and it was the girl who said no that got her man I love you how many girls have you said that to no Betty I mean it for a new generation of young women like Diana atill this prudery seemed old oldfashioned but the serious business of marriage was unquestioned I was a virgin and I didn't actually particularly enjoyed the first time because of that accepting for the wonderful sort of fact that this was happening because you know I was very much in love with him by then and so it it could only be a good [Music] thing couples dreaming of marriage were beckoned by A Brave New World of suburban semi-detached and detached homes between the wars there was a boom in home ownership amongst the middle classes and local councils built a million homes for rent on Cottage Estates in 1938 Robert Williamson and his family moved into their brand new Council house in leads well when we moved into this Council house 61 hourl Road it was like going into heaven it was a block of Ford and we were on the end which meant ours were semi want [Music] it it was easier being at home then because it's something to do worthwhile getting your garden right there were many UNT of luxuries that came with his new Council house and to Robert it seemed that life could only get better for him and his family every night my wife was on the bath when it was ready to come call down come up daddy the bus ready no's waiting so i' go up Splash it the time or two and that croner a tune swing me in the Moonlight in the Moon tonight but Robert's dream of domestic Bliss was cut short when war with Germany was declared in September 1939 and conscription was introduced Britain's young husbands fathers and fiance marched off to a war from which they might never return for some the last goodbye was unbearable me and my wife we couldn't talk about this separation because it was too painful there's always that knowledge that we would never may never see each other again never thought I'd come back never thought I'd come back and I think that the people who saw you off didn't think well they didn't come to see you off because it was too harrowing I wouldn't have it the only person that was there to see me off was my my dad you see cuz he'd gone through the same situation and but he'd come back alive for John Selenas who had joined the Merchant Navy in 1935 Shaw leave during the war took on an entirely new meaning it gave joh the opportunity to continue his courtship with his new girlfriend Dorothy they had met and fallen in love just weeks before the war started I remember coming home up from London to Lime Street Dorothy was meeting me on the station and as I walked down the platform I passed a very pretty girl and she had a picture hat tilted on one side and a beautiful suit and I felt a little bit guilty and I couldn't find Dorothy and I went back and it was this lovely girl it was [Music] she whenever I was on leave we used to go to the cinema we spent our courting days in the cinema sitting by one another holding hands and it was I can't it was Heaven and uh of course it was always the the smell of her the smell of her clothes and the smell of herself s that was special we had a marvelous time when I was on leave and so it went on Voyage leave fun voyage sweets to my sweet let them Entre you to forgive meing and then one day my sister Lil said to me do you intend Ming Dorothy I said of course I do and so she said well you better get on with it or you're going to lose that now once upon a time we'd Bill and we' C we promise that we'd both be true I immediately took Dorothy to Sefton Park sat down on a bench and said darling I've got 25 quid will you marry me and so she became my fiance and we were be trolled for Diana rill the outbreak of War meant an inevitable delay in her plans to marry her RAF fiance Tony to whom she had been engaged since 1938 Tony was stationed in the Far East with an RAF bomber Squadron Diana knew he was in considerable danger and was determined to keep in touch letters flew back and forth between us and I loved writing there I was a very good letter writer and I remember him one of his letters he said look I'm not nearly such a good letter writer as you are it's much harder for me to write letters so I won't be writing quite as many letters as you as I ought to don't let that stop you writing because I die if you stop writing to me so when his letter started falling off I went on writing after that I had two letters from him just as good as they used to be and then silence absolute silence and I thought well he told me not to stop writing so I didn't stop writing I don't know how long I went on writing into the silence but it was for quite a long time I didn't know what had happened and it was not knowing that was so terribly painful living in Wartime London Diana was well aware of a new spirit of living for the moment in the face of an everpresent threat of death this often led to the casting aside of convention and the breaking of solemn promises but after not hearing from her fiance Tony for more than a year Diana still had no idea what his silence meant I got from him at that stage a little formal letter saying what I kindly um consider our engagement over because you was marrying somebody else and it was a terrible awful shock really because I thought to myself I can I had an image in my head that I was lying in bed my mother brought that letter up and silently handed it to me and I read it and I thought oh well anyhow I suppose it means that it's over and I realized it wasn't over for me and I had a sort of picture in my mind of a long bridge between two supports and one of the supports have been knocked away and the bridge was still sticking out there and it was [Music] bad I was going to be a wife presumably I was going to be a mother I had no idea of anything else that I wanted to be that's what I had been planning to be that's what I was certain I was going to be and now I wasn't going to be and I wasn't loved anymore that was very very Bleak love was under threat on all fronts and nowhere more than at sea the deadly Menace of German uots meant one in four British merchant seamen never made it home John Selenas was one of the lucky ones but he almost took one risk too many in the Name of Love the day his ship went down I scramble off the bunk and I can't find the bloody door I can't just cannot find the door eventually did went up onto the boat deck when I got onto the boat deck I realized I'd left dary's picture in the cabin and so I decided to go down and get it got it off the desk and ships starting to list and got back up on the deck and as I emerge into the daylight I think I've won I've got it stupid but I do it again John and Dorothy were married in 1943 and still remain devoted to each other almost 70 years [Music] later when the war ended in 1945 it often meant a difficult homecoming for partners who had to readjust and pick up relationships again after years of separation for some there was [Music] heartbreak Diana rill had to come to terms with the loss of her fiance Tony to another woman after the war she discovered he had died in a bombing raid leaving behind his wife who was expecting their first child you can hardly really blame him he was flying voms he must have known perfectly well that his chances were very low that he could be killed in a minute and there was this I knew now from her having met her son that she was very Charming pretty young innocent delightful girl loyal and kind and brave and all the good qualities and it would be a waste not to marry her really husbands and fathers came home to a country devastated by War yet despite this for the vast majority of married couples the long wait to meet again would end in a happy reunion with their family most For Better or For Worse would stay together for Life creating stable homes for their children flags were out everything was trimmed up big cake you know welcome home yeah well I was very emotive you know FR I cried you know which I can't remember crying before only when I got spanked on my bottom when was about a few months old I can't remember crying only on that occasion with joy you [Music] know but this wasn't the Brave New World families had fought for bombing raids had destroyed many homes which put further pressure on relationships there was a shortfall of four million homes and many young couples were forced to live with parents and relatives in cramped conditions nevertheless most was so pleased to be home the simple joys of marriage and family life tasted all the sweeter even in poor workingclass areas there was a determination to make the best of it a spirit captured by returning Soldier Ed Mitchell a husband utterly devoted to his wife and children I said to Peg during the war whatever happens Peg darling we're going to be happy no whether we got any money or anything we'll be happy well in the early 50s we were living in a little tiny ter house 95 New Market Street in Norge course there's no bathroom and uh no hot water nothing like that and cool fires you see and it was 10 Shillings a week it had an outside toilet and uh and the call host was outside as well the highlight of of the week was B night a time when Ed's cand do Spirit was pushed to the Limit a bath night was always Friday night and that was a panic that was because uh we had we had a bath which was called a bungalow bath and they were long tin baths I could just about sit in it with my KN out straight and to heat the water up for that we used to put a bath on the gas fire and light two burners underneath it and heat the water up chirley used to be bath first who was then a little baby then gr was bathed in the same water then we put a couple of sour spoons full of boiling water in the water and as we getting a bit of scum on top by then and gr was bath Peg had wipe them down and get them into bed and then Peg would get in the bath and have her bath put another cup the SAU of the water in it and time I got in the bath CU there was about an inch of scum on there and the Bloody water was slop warm and that and then to get it out of the kitchen which was only about 8T by 4 foot wide to get out the kitchen door tip it down the drain in the yard was a bit of a job cuz it slopped about all over the floor and it was a panic and I used to hang that up in the shed which was uh Anderson shelter despite a brief up Surge and divorces immediately after the war marriage soon became more popular than ever before in the late 1940s and 50s there was a boom in the numbers getting married with around half a milon couples tying the knot each year so you're going to get married are you most Couples married in their early to mid 20s women who left it much later or who appeared to have too many boyfriends were viewed with suspicion however marrying the right man was a big decision and having seen the passionate and enduring love enjoyed by her parents Denise Robertson wasn't going to settle for anything less I quite a lot of boyfriends when I was a girl and my mother who believed that if you weren't married at 21 it was my sister had been married at 20 you know I got into my early 20s and I was showing no sign of settling down and my mother became very agitated and I remember she had a saying too many rings around Rosie Rosie gets no ring at all and I don't know what I was holding out for but I had you know I want wanted what they had had I wanted to be stirred the dream of domestic Bliss and a comfortable married life in the affluent suburbs was never stronger than in the postwar years one contemporary survey showed that 71% of British wives were very happy and only 4% were unhappy a steadfast husband the protector and provider was part of this vision as was his beautiful wife at home but for some women this was not all they wanted there was this place called Clon which is where all the Posh houses were and all my friends simply wanted to be married to someone who could take them to Clon and I didn't know what I wanted but I knew cleton wasn't it I wanted to be loved and protected I thought that's what you have a husband for he shelters you there was a new respectability the strict rules about courtship were reestablished early sex surveys of the late 1940s and early 50s revealed the enduring power of sexual taboos which restrained many Couples from having sex before marriage and even on holiday couples were policed by their parents as Eileen cook and her fiance Arthur would discover when they went away together we were going to blackpill and we've been caught in over two years and could we go to blackpill for 4 days yes so those days you to write and get a letter so I wrote and ask for two single rooms and she wrote back that the land lady my mother read the letter that's okay so off we went on the Saturday to this boarding house Sunday morning my mother and dad landed they come on a coach trip came to the hotel and obviously we' gone out night for the day and uh could they have the tea with us yes and could I see could I go to alen's room to get washed that was to check that I was in a single room and Arthur's room were [Music] upstairs the Deep sexual longings of many couples would only find finally be expressed on their honeymoon when Eileen cook got married in 1950 she and Arthur went back to Blackpool this was the moment they'd been waiting for but eileene was apprehensive about what to expect on her wedding night it's a bit intimidating like well I have to put me pajamas on have to Tech pajamas have to take an nighty it's a bit you know you're a bit worrying when you're not right sure whether you you want deck at your pajamas I mean talking to some people at work they said well he won't won't want either of them I thought I will I'm not going into bed without an NA on then when you get in own dressed think well have to put me on first have to put it on then will he ask me to take it off I don't know whether it went on came off or or whatever I've forgotten however there was yet further embarrassment for eileene as she contemplated coming down to breakfast with her husband the following morning iene the wife she was she was quite concerned what he how will we go on we go now they'll all be looking at us what will they think I said I'm not bothered what they think I said you know we married now well you know I don't like going down I said well have to I want some breakfast I'm hungry I said go on never mind what they think he said will they be staring at there well let them stare I'm not [Music] bothered for married couples in the 50s happiness was a new home and DIY and Home Improvements became a national Pastime even the addition of an indoor bathroom and toilet could be a dream come true they didn't have a bathroom and they didn't have an inside toilet but through from the kitchen at the side was a kind of an archway and a fireplace beside it so I busted through from the kitchen into this room that what was behind it but that had been a wash house cuz there was a carer in the corner so I took the carer out and I made her enter a bathroom so now we had an indoor bathroom but still had an out store L had to go down the yard to the L so that joined the bathroom so I busted through from the bathroom into the L and put a doorway in there so now we had indoor L indoor bathroom and that was really going up Market to have an indoor bathroom cuz half of them own was up GLE bro you see they had they didn't have a bathroom and they had never had an indoor L the postwar baby boom grew out of a new spirit of optimism for the future it was unquestioned that this future would be built around the institution of marriage leading on to a happy and stable family life the introduction of the welfare state in the National Health Service in the late 1940s made this life look more promising than ever before nevertheless some of the new babies were unplanned a consequence of their mother's total lack of any knowledge about birth control kept going up and I feeling rotten and feeling quite sick and Arthur came on he says go across the doctors and it was a new doctor that I didn't know so he took me across to register at the doctor where we lived his doctor and he said bring a sample of water in your urine so which I did the following day and he tested it and he said yes you're pregnant how can he tell with water I thought never in this world no so and then I went on to my mother's and I says boot me into our own doctor which I did and he took me in and I said the doctor at berels which says I'm pregnant what I said I'm not I said I just feel really sick I think I have an ulcer or something so he said all right I'll examine you and then afterwards he says yes he said you are pregnant I think you're around about 3 month I said no I can't be he said and why not you're a married woman I said yes but we haven't been trying he said well if you haven't been trying you've succeeded because you're definitely pregnant Eileen's baby son David was born in 1952 for her motherhood was a right of passage from the minute that David was born the minute that they brought them in and put him in my arms I suddenly grew up cuz until then it had just been me you know just I did what I did I went out and enjoyed myself and then I realized that I had a great responsibility this little tiny thing was solely going to be relying on me and that is the first time I really felt that i' I'd grown up as with many others of her generation e and Arthur have remained happily married for life and recently celebrated their 60th wedding [Applause] anniversary by the late 50s a new and Restless younger generation was growing up much faster inspired by modern jazzz and rock and roll they began to enjoy the fruits of affluence in postwar Britain the new breed of young men and women were more independent and questioning of authority very different from those who had served in two world wars Denise Robertson bridged these two generations she wanted a man who was like her father but also different when she met an older man from the shetlands a ship's captain on his Shore leave on IDE she thought she'd found him he rang me up and he said you know ship's coming in I want to take you out I've got something important to say to you and I said to my mother he's going to propose but I'm not going to say yes this time and he took me out to dinner and he said I want to talk to you I won't be seeing you again because if I see you again I will want to marry you and I don't want to get married and I thought right that's great I don't have to worry he he you know he's not going to propose and I promptly forgot all about him I think that was October and in January he rang me up again and said I don't know if I can live with you but I know now I can't can't live without [Music] you and we were married um about 5 months later and I have never been so happy but in the 60s and 70s the institution of marriage would be questioned as never before the Baby Boomers began to rebel against all the traditional values and institutions that had once been held dear the stage was set for a cultural revolution that would start to transform the meaning of love and marriage in Britain [Music] forever [Music] m

Channel: Absolute History

Views: 174,532

Keywords: 20th century culture, Absolute History, STD outbreaks, challenges in marriage, consequences of affairs, forbidden desires in history, forbidden love, historical love triangle, historical relationships, infidelity and STDs, love and marriage, love and war, marriage traditions, regrets in relationships, relationship challenges, romance in history, romantic intimacy, sexual behavior, sexual morals in 1900s, social norms in 1900s, tragic love stories

Id: CZfQUJ14h00

Length: 58min 42sec (3522 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 27 2024