Speaking Your Sins: Yom Kippur - Rabbi Joseph Dweck

okay very good um so tomorrow night is yom kippur so we're really getting this uh in under the wire but i think that it's it's important because as you will see that this is what we're going to be speaking about tonight is for all intents and purposes yom kippur everything else is is uh added on to that right everything else that we will speak about essentially uh everything other than what we will speak about tonight for all intents and purposes is is is layered on to kippur but what we're going to deal with tonight is at the crux what is that that's that is that the crux of yom kippur and that specifically is what we call in in hebrew vidui and so what i'd like to look at with you for the habura i've given this your in some form or another many many times before but this is for the hamburg so it's a special one right special special khabura presentation of this year and what we're going to do is we're going to look at how harambam presents this particular mitzvah of kippur and with some insight some of it will be insights that i'm suggesting but for all intents and purposes we're going to be looking at the text itself i'm going to remind everyone please to mute so that we don't distract from proceedings okay before we actually look at the this yeah but then can we just you could you can leave it yeah all right what we're going to talk about first is what is what is v3 right it's it's related to the word toda the word mode even the word vadai and what essentially means that we are when we are mode something or we say toda to something it is essentially an acknowledgement right i acknowledge the reality so in the modern hebrew vernacular toda is really a statement of i acknowledge that you have done something for me i acknowledge that something has been given to me in english we might say much obliged in old you know an older more more sophisticated way and that's really what that means that i acknowledge the fact that you have given me something in one word that's essentially what is that we're saying when i model something i'm not just agreeing i am acknowledging a reality and so here too with regards to what i am doing is i am acknowledging a reality regarding something that i've done and there's a pasuku in the torah that that gives us this concept now we're going to see that not every vidui is the same there is a special we do it for yom kippur we're going to look at the differences between uh you know the dewey interestingly there's the vidui that harambam literally builds the entirety of hill yeah that's not the video of young people but we'll look at both i'm going to compare and contrast them um and the other thing is is that we are doing we do for what we're doing for what we call hat in hebrew so i you know the the the flyer that that sinha insisted we make foreign always insist that we have a name for the class which god bless him of course he would why wouldn't he uh so i said confession or speaking our sins yeah um and i hate the term confession and i hate the term sins because it just sounds extremely not jewish right it probably sounds very christian actually and they have very different connotations in christianity than they do in judaism so i don't want to use those terms if i don't have to i'm going to use the hebrew terms right essentially a verbal articulation of the question is what's right i don't like the word the word literally means to miss the mark that's what the word literally means uh or i misstep right so there's a target there is a path there is something that i'm aiming towards and i miss it i i lose now it's not the only word that we use for transgression or city right in hebrew there's a lot of words for it there's avon there's pesha and there's if you look at the liturgy of yom kippur without question the most prevalent predominant word for transgression that we use which means that it's a very it's very specific about what kind of transgressions we're looking at on yom kippur it's not to say young people only deals with one kind but the milieu of the day right the the ambiance the nature of the day is very much and we have examples of that in the torah and where it's really used that way my favorite example which i always bring is the example of the tribe of binyamin it says in the navy that the tribe of binyamin were known to be expert marksmen they were they were expert snipers uh it says it's interesting because they were predominantly also left-handed which i always find interesting about binyamin right i mean it's my right hand right yakov is talking about the son of my right hand and for all of them to be left-handed is ironic i have ideas around that which i taught years ago in my classes on navi but we're not going to get into that tonight um but it certainly begs the question doesn't it what it says about the tribe of binyamin in terms of their marksmanship is that it says every one of them was so good that they could aim at the hair on a person's head is the same word as hate right they wouldn't bear they wouldn't veer they wouldn't miss the mark they would be able to aim and hit it every time so that's how we know one of the ways that we know the source of the word another is a beautiful one in which um king david is dying right he's getting very old and he has promised his one of his wives batsheva who's the mother of solomon who's the mother of king solomon later speaking solomon that her son would be king he would take the throne after him he was quite young right he was only 12 years old when this was going on another son of david who was trying to usurp the throne and david was quite removed from the goings-on of the kingdom towards the end of his life and so natan the prophet and his wife rush into his chambers and but shiva says to him if you do not do something about this right now i and my son solomon will be against that word all of the days all of our days it doesn't mean she's not saying we'll be sinning because that'll be right she says we will be out and there will be a different king on on the throne and he will hold court and we will not be invited to court we will not be considered part of the royal family and your son solomon will be pushed out so that's right is out of bounds off the mark missed step yes all right so there what does that mean means that something needs to be rectified because it's been it's missed its point right so what do you do i mean this is important in terms of guilt and shame around because a lot of times people miss a mark and then they just collapse right or they wallow in shame over having missed the mark which is clearly not the way to go you miss the mark you pick up another arrow and you shoot again yeah clearly that's the point you get in there and that's very very important because all kippur is is a provision for when i say all it is i don't mean that is all it is i mean the entirety of kippur is set up for provision to address the fact that you miss the mark now the issue is on yom kippur can you and the first and most fundamental issue which is clear can you acknowledge that you shot and missed the mark if you cannot acknowledge that you shot and missed the mark there's nothing to talk about clearly right now we're going to come back to that but that's the intro what is it we need to deal with and what are the implications of that right what are the implications of either acknowledging or not acknowledging that i that i've missed the mark yeah so what i want to do first is i want to look at um a few elements of haramba okay so you're gonna travel with me here okay so what i'm about to read with you may not be what you're expecting me to read with you not that you're expecting anything in particular but it might throw you off the mark a bit right so let's hold with me travel with me i'm going to bring you right to where it is we need to go so let's have a look here what we're going to look at first is the very opening of okay interestingly harambam literally builds the entirety of the laws of tishoba on this one mitzvah and the mitzvah is not to shabbat because according to itself is not in its by can't command that right you either do it or you don't do it once you do it there are things that you might have requirement to do and one of the things that a person has to do once to shubha is achieved is vidui right so we're going to look at that specifically we're going to look at vidui in terms of tishoba itself having nothing to do with yom kippur necessarily right this is its own mitzvah as it stands by itself but it's circumstantial the mitzvah vidu is circumstantial on to having been achieved so let's have a look is he around just because just i need him to uh admit people from the waiting room if he's around call me so we're going to pick this a part of it right it's very very strange i just need somebody to keep letting people into the yeah so our obama says he he this this the syntax the structure of this sentence is extremely strange because he starts it in a roundabout way right he opens up saying all the mitzvoth of the torah if a person transgressed literally transgressed avar means to cross right so you transgress means you cross over so you think well that's hebrew hebrews always backwards not in this case it would be much more appropriate to say adam perfectly appropriate to say that if a person transgressed anyone but he doesn't do that he's doing it backwards right and he's making the object of the sentence not the human being which is extremely important he says boom there's mitzvoth right whatever type of mitzvah is whether it's a positive commandment a negative commandment if a person transgressed one of them so what is haramban done over here he has set the mitzvot as these realities that are extend and he has said there are mitzvot if a human being crossed one of them we have to address it so notice he's not saying it the other way around he's not saying oh human being because what would we need to deal with if that were the case and we say okay well the human being has done something we have to address the human being and what obama is saying over here is we're not looking at the human being directly we're looking at the human being being in this particular case ancillary to what to the mitzvot that have been transgressed that require addressal now ima foreign what does that person need to do when he does the actions of tishuba and finally yahshua and finally comes to a state in which he's returned to where he has veered because he's engaged in some kind of missing of of his steps right when he does return when he finally is in a state of return hayablit vadod he must speak out and affirm before god notice the words over here these are very important because why am i reading this with you now because i want to contrast it to the yom kippur video which this is not right this is lif you have to do this before god right how do i know there's a pasuka says a man or woman who does any one of the hat right and he doesn't say that over here because they're not quoting for pasuk but that's the person who missteps on any one of the hat they have to speak out they're missing of the mark they have to acknowledge that they've missed the mark how do they do this before god do it this is the verbal articulation and that verbal articulation that is circumstantially based right it is only obligated once a person has returned into java they have to stand before god and they have to do this verbal articulation how do you do this how is this verbal articulation meant to be well there's a formula there's a basic formula for the formula is an hashem you must say anna hashem why because it has to be which means you have to request audience with god and so you have to bid god to pay attention to you and so you open hashem what do you say to hashem right i've missed the mark i've corrupted i have rebelled which are three very different levels of transgression right missing the mark is not rebellion so there's a very interesting issue over here which is not going to get into it tonight why do i say all three no matter what i've done right it says whatever it is whether you did it on purpose you did it by accident you didn't know you did know you were premeditated not prevented whatever it is you trampled a mitzvah you must mute please you trample them you must address it right and that's that's one of the reasons why this has really very little to do with a person's intent at this point it has to do with the damage in its money so why you broke the window the number of reasons malice mistake playing around not paying attention whatever it is there's all different levels and all different reasons right now we're not concerned about that we're only concerned about the fact that the window's broken window's broken you have to fix it and one of the modes of fixing is how do i know that because the word for fixing right the sophisticated word for fixing in hebrew in this context is has nothing to do with forgiveness atonement right it's bringing things to be one again that's what atonement is it's at one minute right so it's making things whole again things that are broken or damaged need to be made whole again the mitzvoth have been damaged one of the ways they need to be made whole again is this be doing so it's very counterintuitive because i think if it's something that i need to do then it always has to do with me it's true this does have to do with me but it has to do with personal damage incurred as a result of having done this you know gone off the beaten path so i have to speak to god and i have to say to god that i rebelled which is interesting and i have to say what i did and not only do i have to say what i did i have to say i am nihanti bhushti i have regret and i have guilt over the fact meaning i recognize that i'm the culprit yeah and what i did and now i have to say i'm never going to do it again right the only way that you can say i'm never going to do it again is if you know that you have achieved full-fledged which means that your whole wiring has shifted in your brain you see the reality completely differently so it's not an issue for you anymore so this is not your keyboard we're nowhere near this but that's what this is okay notice that he says what he just said all of the whole formula hashem i did this in this i'm never going to do it again that whole thing that's that is the crux of this mitzvah we do it anything beyond that right any other beautiful okay good so now let's take a look at the yom kippur situation okay notice over here i just want to point you before we go up to tom kippur he says about the vidui he says ken over here he says that people that have to bring let's say a person was mahal shabbat person transgression according to law if they transgress shabbat either because they didn't realize it was shabbat or they didn't know that this particular thing was prohibited on shabbat and they went ahead and transgressed they are required to bring a hat to they have to bring a quran which is a sin offering right it's a hat offer still you're required to do that that doesn't change with the bit that means not being here we're all required if this is what we've done we still have requirement we just don't have the facilities to be able to do it we still have a requirement now when you do bring your corban on which is supposed to fix the shabbat however it is it manifests in the world they also have to do the video and if you don't do the video interestingly it says this entire pairing deals with the concept of kapara deals with the content concept of atonement the concept of at one concept of making whole that which was broken and there are various components that are not whole or that are broken there's personal components there's existential components there's all different things right but basically these are damages of this book that have to be addressed so in the opening the rectification of the damaged mitzvah occurs on whatever level by my acknowledgement of its damage and that i was the agent of that damage and that i will not damage it again i've learned so now let's go to second chapter second chapter doesn't talk about second chapter talks about something else talks about means forgiveness and forgiveness has to do with a damaged relationship not damaged entities right any case this window doesn't like okay okay let's read this house harabam spoke about yom kippur in the first peric from the perspective of which we did not read together now he brings up yom kippur again and he talks about yom kippur from a different perspective yom kippur from the perspective of and he says the following about young people i've given many shirim about the differences between the two but that's not what we're focusing on tonight but you can listen if you have access for everyone individuals and groups of people meaning communities are aggregates of people in whatever means it is the ultimate it is the end it is the ultimate time of forgiveness it is the ultimate time for forgiving and pardoning for the people of israel right for the jewish people what does that mean it's kids kids means that there has to be a pre to that right there is it's the end of the road right we are on the road now right we're coming close to the end which is why there's a certain sense of urgency in yom kippur as you will see institute this this very clear sense of dealing with the urgency right how we should address that urgency but it's urgent because we know that it's not always available and that the availability from god with us vis-a-vis his relationship to us of pardoning and forgiveness is not quotidian it's not daily it's not always it's not ubiquitous it is there is a time that is uniquely primed for the addressal of damaged relationship between god and israel and that has everything to do with michigan not so much to do with qatar again has to do with at one minute right it has to do with rectifying damage but on a more existential level in the sense of what has happened to me and my being as a result of my transgression yom kippur provides to me and my person as a result of whatever it is that has occurred to me by being the agent of transgression the day itself provides that i'll show it to you right now just so that you see the difference this is the first period right at this time we do not have a better makdash which means that all of the kappa rav the better dash and everything in it the korbanot and the malcoot and the sanhedrin all of it right is gone being that it's gone it means we don't have it there's no replacement for it people misread this halacha and they think that what our obama is saying is bismancy we do not have an altar that can bring us all we've got that doesn't mean that state takes the place of the korbanot and the bitterness it's saying all we've got left is brings atonement to all transgressions oh if it brings atonement to all transgressions then obviously it has replaced ah but remember there are levels of atonement because there are levels of damage and the damage that korbanot address cannot be addressed when you don't have a korvan it's gone everything that is lost with the bettering dash is gone that's why there's there's a story in the game it says that he was one friday night he was reading by the oil lamp which you're not supposed to do why the hakamime because you may tilt the the loyal lamb and bring the oil closer to the flame so it burns brighter and that is of burning right of enhancing the flame so how come you say don't read by an oil lamp shimayati because you may end up right so he thought okay i mean no this was early it wasn't established as a firm gizera yet and he sat by oil lamp and he tilted it without realizing and he said wow that they suggest these things now they're not more more than suggestion but you know you realize that everybody thinks not i'm not going to do that right what did he do after shabbat he wrote in his used to keep a notebook and he said [Music] why would he do that if there's nobody dash into shabbat takes the place obviously it doesn't take place and obviously yes we still have all of the hyubim that are required all haramban is saying is that whatever level of damage that teshuba takes care of we still have that and the good thing is is that tajabat takes care of damage for all of it what damage well he says even if a person was a wicked person meaning they just didn't care they just lived their lives very selfishly only in terms of what they wanted and not in terms of relationship with god and faithfulness to the covenant and so on and so forth which essentially would hashem not persons that i showed all of his days and at the end realized maybe it wasn't such a good idea live my life that way i think i'd like to repent right i'd like to i'd like to fix that so he's if he does to shubham notice what her mom says what's the atonement there we don't talk to him about any bad thing that he did want to mention does it rectify the actual damage in him no in the world no does it rectify the fact that there's mitzvot being trampled no it only rectifies one thing and that is you no longer have a big mark on you that says i was the agent of this thing which is good because it would be pretty annoying if they constantly mentioned it right but that's the atonement that's achieved which is big it's valuable it's tremendously helpful it certainly helps a person standing right in the whole uh and then there's one other thing what else is left he says the very day itself right the day itself of yom kippur provides atonement what atonement does that provide well it provides whatever actual damage or whatever kind of corruption or impurity the transgression incurred in you as the agent because it says the continuation of the pursuit is what who knows that we say it a hundred times on him right means on this day right in other words on this date atonement will no but it says with this day the day itself will be a a mechanism of atonement for you the taheret to purify you from all of your mismarks very different than this does not address how is my standing with god how are we feeling with each other what's the status of our relationship that's this is not addressed here right that's addressed in the second paragraph in the tissue the ultimate day in pardoning and forgiveness which has to do with my standing with god not just what's occurred to me as a result of transgressing but where is my standing with god right because remember with the previous halal that we just read all you need to do on yom kippur to have kapara right to have atonement is be alive you need to go to synagogue no you need to be doing anything no you just need to be alive and interested in tishoba and the day that works is magic that's all but when it comes to the question of but how am i doing with god what's the nature of my relationship with him has he has he forgiven me for transgressing right is he feeling distant or close to me and so on and so forth well that requires addressing that requires some discussion coming to the issue and saying right you know i did something wrong i thought maybe we should talk about it and that's why we go to synagogue that's why we get your prayers because of this part of this part of kippur therefore since hakadosh baruch makes himself available on yom kippur for the pardoning and forgiveness that essentially is a statement to us saying well i'm here what say so what is you have an obligation as a member of the people of israel to respond to the fact that god is saying to you i'm here what say you and therefore everybody has to do tishua let's do it everybody's to work on it right they have to work on returning attempt returns and what else there's our word what obama is saying it is the ultimate time that pardon and forgiveness is provided for israel we have a requirement to engage into juba and to verbally articulate what it is we've done why why because if god is making himself available to pardoning us and dealing with the nature of our relationship and we walk into that setting and say i have no idea what you're talking about i didn't miss any mark i hit the bull's line well then doesn't look like we have much to talk about do we because i'm saying you've missed the mark you're saying that you hit the bullseye i'll see you later because what's going on in that situation is we're not sitting in the same reality as god if that's how we come in so the starting point as a matter of fact the only point of yom kippur is simply that can you acknowledge that you missed the mark if you can acknowledge that you missed the mark that our work is done here for today i see that you're interested in a relationship i recognize that you understand you're standing we'll deal with it people make the mistake of thinking that yom kippur also has to address how i'm going to fix everything with god and it does not the only thing that we are expected to address on yom kippur is the reality of our situation can you acknowledge that you've done something to hurt me so to speak can you acknowledge that you've done something that has disregarded me i'm sure it wasn't malicious you missed the mark but can you recognize that your arrow is like way over there and that you've attempted to paint bullseye around it when the bullseye is over there which is what rationalization is isn't it because every time that we try to rationalize why it's okay that we did what we did it's just painting a bullseye around the arrow that missed the mark and what was saying my bull's eye is over there your arrow is like over there i don't know if you heard but there was one year where i gave a yom kippur in my synagogue and i used tennis as the analogy for this it was one of the strongest that i showed i ever gave because it was such a phenomenally beautiful analogy for the entire but the point of the matter is that on yom kippur all we're trying to do which is everything is to come and get real because how can you have a relationship if everything is going to be a lack of clarity and reality of what's actually happening in the relationship and that's all and that's why in the view do we notice in this video in the video of yom kippur it's different you'll see depending on what uh you are right which you use so the the people who are influenced by kabbalah have a a vidui that sounds like our early vidui the first people in the first period which misses a bit it opens saying hashem and that's not the point of this redoing we're not necessarily asking for audience with god he's there that's what yom kippur is yom kippur is set up for you to talk you're not asking for god also pay attention to you all you say you know so the spanish portuguese for example are not influenced by kabbalah they say simply right they say our lord right please you know don't wipe us out hold on hold on all right let our prayers come before you because we are not saying to you today right we're not saying to you today we are righteous and haven't missed the mark what do we say no we've definitely missed them which is what means for sure right we've definitely missed the mark and that's the whole point of notice we're not doing all that other stuff that's in the first be doing right we're not saying please god we're not saying we're not saying no i'm just saying no i recognized you had a bullseye i i shot and missed over there could be that i really wasn't even paying attention i wasn't interested in even in even doing it that day so yeah i mean i wasn't focused so what does our mom say over here i want to skip down for a second and see what he says he says obviously is this is uh the wrong uh girsa the wrong style the proper gursa is two words so if you look at the not in the villa rambam you look at the bombs you see that it's two words the crux of the whole day is to stand before god and on kippur and say two words we miss them you can say that you missed the mark we have what to talk about lovely i love you i'm glad i'm glad you could see that enjoy dinner that's we're fine i'm sure we'll find ways to deal with this we'll carry on i'm a forgiving god i love you after all and we're in this to succeed right you know so okay as long as we recognize you miss tomorrow it's great you'll shoot again you shoot again you try it again no problem you didn't miss the mark well there's not really much now being that that is the entirety of the day right it's very different than saying you know i'm never going to do this again no we're not saying whatever i don't know if i'm going to do it again i don't even know that i feel so far it's not even full-time i'm trying i'm just not going to pretend i'm not going to pretend i didn't do anything wrong i did something wrong i get it i'm working on it good you're working on i'll work on it with you how about that very good so being that that is the crux of the day and it is really all that we do is at every time on yom kippur that we stand before god in prayer and there are five times that we stand before god in prayer we have a video because that's the whole point of the day is to just be able to come clean and say to god uh i get i did it i'm done i'm not pretending i totally realize therefore i will look at that in a minute and even though you did it before yom kippur meets you do it in rv you do it every time you stand in front of him on that day and how many times we stand in front of him on that day our vit everyone and everyone that's what we do talk to and we say i'm not pretending today maybe the other days i rationalize i don't look at it i don't pay attention not today today i'm going to say before i missed i missed the mark good good okay i'm glad that you could see that wonderful we've got we've dealt with it and literally what does them say at the end of the tv let's go enjoy dinner [Music] already accepted everything so because of this urgency however let's turn that on because of the urgency however because it's quetz mercilaus it's the last time that's why we're talking about ilan is locking right everything's closing the shop is shutting the windows are everything it's all shutting down what does that mean who's not involved in our lives anymore of course he is but to get him to be open to forgiveness and deal with much more difficult it takes much more work at least for individuals that's why i'm bomb makes the difference between the individuals he says look if you get a whole bunch of people together and they do it with a full heart so then they could do it anytime but you know good luck kippur is set up for this it's a special time that's set up for us conducive for it and so it's urgent because it's passing and for us it's coming so whatever it was the craziest of all time you know what because the dewey is so important on yom kippur it's the crux of the day and without it we really aren't doing anything we should probably do we do it before you keep putting starts the reason for that is because we have dinner before it starts and you my children die so you know just in case just nuts you know it's a little bit far-fetched but we're so concerned about it that [Music] before you eat the final meal before fasting why shemaya hadn't been because you might choke in the meal and die call them before you had a chance to address god in your relationship you don't want to die before joining on your relationship but we have nothing like this you understand we don't say you know you may choke and die before sukkot starts right obviously because we're not a meal i i get it i'm saying i'm just pointing out and i'm like you know underlining the fact of the urgency of this right also what are the odds the person everybody's trying to die one guy so everybody's got to go and do that before but we never say that we don't say listen you may not get to hear shofar you never know you might be hit with a double decker bus blow so far before roshana starts just in case this is the only time we have such it because it is a real addressable of our relationship with that that is really opened and supple and capable of being addressed and changed to miss such an opportunity is a huge miss we don't want to miss it and that's why we do it in every tip for that if my mind wasn't about me in the morning or i know and i always spoke about it in the morning but it's the afternoon and there's a development and i just want you know i'm still i'm still intact do you hear this do you hear the whole nature of the day through this so the value and importance of being of speaking it out is to find shared ground on yom kippur there's a beautiful pasuk which i'll search i'll bring for you to take to take a look oh i don't know how to make hebrew here how do you make it here it's all hebrew oh this one this thing oh i have a mac jack what end there's no end oh this no bear with me bear with me i'm gonna show it to you and you're gonna think like i'm nuts because who cares it's not gonna be exciting anymore why don't we who's who's put hebrew on the thing i have a keyboard without evil you like it so there's this beautiful pasuk and you say i was saying what do you mean i'm clean you lo hathati because you say i didn't do anything wrong i didn't miss the mark has a beautiful reading of that pursuit it says i'm judging you but it's not i'm in judgment with you right i am engaged in this judgment it's reflective is saying who says to them i'm being judged you're angry that that i'm angry at you right i'm being judged because you said you didn't do anything wrong so you think that i am doing things that are out of the out of off the mark the opposite of v doing is this is saying we do not do that on yom kippur and that is the whole crux of the day in other words on yom kippur what we are saying is we're not we're not playing games i have no idea how i'm going to fix it i don't know why i did it i try to stop it doesn't help me but i'm not going to rationalize it today i care about our relationship and because i care about our relationship i'm going to say to you yes this is what i've done the more that i can do that obviously the better but that is all for all intents and purposes looking at in terms again in terms of our misora in terms of how the ham teach us what we understand about the day of yom kippur who is looking for can you see the reality that i see about you and if you don't see it and if you can't recognize it well i understand but we really don't have anything to talk about if you can see it and you do recognize it well then we're living in the same reality and we can build on that and we have a whole year to work on things and address and so on and so forth but you need to be able to say before i go about now it's true that as we grow and as the years pass we become clearer and clearer on things in our lives and so we come to being able to say things that we weren't able to say last year or the year before and the things that we did say last year and the year before to say again this year even if they're completely done why that's part of who i am that's not a problem anymore thank goodness but i absolutely recognize that that's how i started it's all a question of getting real of being rooted in the nature of what is true and that's the essence of people with what with regards to regards to my relationship with and of course is it not true that every real and important relationship is based on that one fundamental beginning can you see what i see if you can't see what the person you wish to have a close relationship with whoever that person may be can't see what they see then the first step in the direction of connection is not there and people try to build relationships without that first step all the time and there's a a great deal of rationalization that goes and excuses and so on and so forth and most of that is because we're too afraid to come clean and this is what i want to end with today which i don't usually i haven't usually said this in the i've been very technical about them and i think it's an important component to remember why do we rationalize why do we keep from allowing ourselves to look at the fact that i've missed tomorrow because it is vulnerable and unstable and dangerous and scary and it incurs a great deal of fear as if i missed the mark what does that say about me and i keep missing the mark actually maybe i don't like this game anymore or maybe i want to change the distance from which i'm shooting that's one of the reasons why the tennis analogy is very very good because it allows for many different components right i mean what is tennis except for trying to hit the ball within the bounds of the court that's all it is so you gotta get like hawkeye you know to come in and check you know are you on the line or not that's like right am i am i inbounds or am i out of bounds and if you're really serious about it you go and watch the video and you're playing and you check to see how it is you can get better and what solutions you need for the problems that present you when you play rough on clay right you just pass the back what do you do but the reason why we do not come to terms with the fact that we are not playing within bounds or to the best of our ability is because it says something about us and we don't want to have to say that i have missed or i'm wrong or i've made the mistake because we fear deep down that that will invalidate us and so ironically we create these very thick barriers around our own personal invalidation that you shouldn't have to say that which makes things worse it works counterproductively with us interestingly enough the beautiful thing about yom kippur and this is so important and i cannot stress this enough and those who fail to convey this element of yom kippur to the people are utterly failing the people and yom kippur and for that matter that's how strong it is saying by saying you speak to me about these things is saying you're safe with me you can tell me it may be uncomfortable for a while and there may be things that we have to address that are not going to feel great but i will take you through that's what saying to us you say say to me the truth and i will take you through if you cannot say to me the truth i can't help you because we're not in the same reality but i am saying who says to us is if you can stand with courage before me and admit to me that you have missed the mark i will hold you that's what this day is for that's what i set the day for for you that's what's important to understand i didn't set this day up as a trap to get you i set this day up as a facilitator for your life so that i could help you but if you do not stand in reality with me i can't help you you hear that that's the hole that you're looking for and that's why we do is so important because if i can't bring myself to be doing appropriately i can't bring myself to god and i can't bring myself to god he will not barge into my life there's a nice line that people say about god god is a gentleman he doesn't go where he's not invited and it is true because those are who's not going to push into your life if you insist on keeping them out you may knock at your door you know throw some pebbles at your window over and over again maybe throw some rocks through your window every now and then but if the response is regularly i'm not looking then the responsibility is well i see but i can't look at what it is that you're seeing because it's not in my eye it's not in my island yeah so it's a beautiful day like there's no day that's as great as yom kippur for us it's an unbelievable day and the truth of the matter is initially who wasn't interested in it we really do have mushroom to thank for yom kippur according to the torah he negotiated the day was ready to just wipe every whatever wipe everybody cancel everyone and instead of moshing up and said let's not go there let's try this and i'll go find okay i'll do it and once again who commits to something you can take it to the bank that's what this day is it's a beautiful day so we're looking forward to it tomorrow is that hashem embracing us in that ability for us to stand in that and ultimately tell us to enjoy dinner carry on with the year there it's time to share you said that there is no word for sin and you read and i didn't say that i said i don't like the word sin and that it means missing and correct i did say that and that the notion of sin may be a christian concept i'm saying that sin is a christian word it's used it has a christian connotation to it it doesn't saying the mark sort of underscored the severity of iran i'm not sure what you mean by that how it underscores the severity it is that's what is a crossing it's transgressing right you've crossed the boundary that was set the guy is going to indulge he needs to know it is indeed a terrible sin it is not just that he's missing the mark all of that all depends it all depends i mean we can talk about the severity of the we really don't recognize the severity of there are such things severe ones less ones and so on and so forth and all of that has to do with the damage that those things occur but remember that there are always contextual realities to an avira what did the person know what are the traumas that a person is coming from in his life that causes him to do these things or that influences him to do these things what is the nature of the person's marriage so on so forth there's all kinds of components that come in that's why harambam says nobody knows how to judge these things except for toshiba should that person recognize that it's a severe avira absolutely but on yom kippur what we're mainly looking at is the fact that there was a bullseye you missed it can you acknowledge that you missed it everything else is left to deal to be dealt with it doesn't mean that there's nothing else to deal with it means i don't keep poor that's the component that has to be dealt with if you cannot acknowledge that and you're going to make excuses for everything well then there's nothing to talk about the fact that it was adultery good are you going to sit and make excuses for those thing are you going to acknowledge that you committed adultery you come out good you acknowledge it thank you we can deal with that now all the other things and what you need to do and how many lashes you need and so on and so forth but that's not the essence of kippur the essence of kippur is can you admit that you did this thing wrong if you cannot admit that you did this thing wrong then we have nothing to talk about with everything good good wonderful you have uh and we'll we'll deal with how it is that you have to address that the qapara for that thing later that's that's all essence of the entire thing but what you must recognize is that there are many components to a person's transgressions in this life it affects a whole number of things i'm saying what we look at on kippur specifically if you think that on yom kippur you walk into yom kippur and you sweep up the entire issue that you have with your life and your transgressions and you walk out of there like everything is nice with a little bow on top you got that's you're in the wrong you're in the wrong mindset there's a lot that's addressed but the main thing that's addressed with regards to your relationship with god is the relationship the relationship that was damaged as a result of the object i hope you hear that and understand that i thank you why do you not do his court on yom kippur did not develop because of the nature of our history and we experienced all righty that's it what do we have in here any questions in the room yeah let's say [Music] yes it's not sufficient to deal with the sin it's sufficient on yom kippur to address your relationship with kadosh do you understand yeah the sin is still a big problem in your life that's the difference but this day on terms of how encouraging relates to you do you recognize him do you does he see you are you living in the same reality that needs to be addressed and if you're saying you're not going to listen i i don't know if i'm going to do this i want to not do it again right because if you stand for that say you know something i know i'm going to do it i don't care how about that well that's not a good idea that's not a good idea right your desire is not to be engaging in the alberta you recognize that you have serious compulsion towards it or whatever it is okay so you have to go to a 12-step program or whatever the case may be yeah yeah so based on what you just said [Music] you mean you swear yeah how can how that's a very good question a very good question i love that question the question was in the days that there was capital punishment and a person could be put to death how could a person be put to death if they acknowledge our young people they missed the mark right that's your question yeah what is it they wouldn't have the opportunity ah oh you're saying a different question i thought you were saying right so if you're saying that they wouldn't have gotten the yom kippur that's right they they missed they missed the opportunity because the severity of their ah my question which i thought you were asking was right if a person goes through kippur let's say a person was it and they were tried and convicted which is the rarest of things but let's say that that happened right let me push off a cliff okay and kippur comes first oh is that a question okay so that's your question keep four cups first yeah so now they went through yom kippur and they said and they made full tissue power when it doesn't say they even did that when i've been saying it didn't falter but let's hey they're gonna throw around the cliff yes because the cliff is and once you have a requirement of kappa and it's been established by being that you require that kind of kappa and for that matter the requires that that has to be taken care of it's a completely different issue give you an example right again a very very very very basic example i put uh my hand through a window that's not my window somebody else's it's in this window what do i have to do to rectify that situation two things one is what you tell me what do i have to do to rectify that situation i broke sinner's window what do i need to do well he doesn't care that i saw he said he knows i did it he watched me do it outside well that's true that's one level of kaphara that's personal capable but what else has to be fixed what else has to be fixed a wind done because a window is not at one right it needs at one minute it needs to be made whole again but what else needs to be done if i want to talk this in it again so what do i have to do which i do want to talk to somebody i want to apologize to him i have to ask him to say cinna i'm so sorry about your window i really i made a mistake i didn't realize you you told me not to play ball by your car and i did and i broke your window so it's very possible right that i could ask forgiveness for the window and that be taken care of but it requires me to fix the window and i don't have money for that i'm going to have to figure out how to do that two different things the death of east of iraq if it requires death is you could do the opposite too that was a person could have kaphara and not have addressed them which is an issue with you follow more or less i know it's not in what the way that you're used to usually thinking yeah yeah um however it is that we deal with this concept of judgment or whatever it is right we don't know necessarily the components of how it is that that happens it's a paradox paradoxes don't end our realities yes right so if you want to say that it's a matter of how it is that god created the world so in the same way that winter and summer happens right summer is better for swimming than winter why because it's more available because the earth is in greater proximity to the sun depending on which hemisphere of the earth you're in all right so maybe i've got those one who created situations in which these things come around at times there's a cycle of situations by us right and how our world runs that either engages with yeah or that we created [Music] otherwise we've established this is the way that we run in our timetables there are several ways either way your question is a question for all things it's not a yom kippur question your question is a question for the entire interface of god with human life do you understand that okay everything prayer judgment mercy clemency forgiveness the whole thing is a question is the question that you're asking and that's a broader thing we could have a show on that but that it always will include paradox this one is the day of kippur is not established by the torah that was the day itself is not established in torah is it or not okay what component of the day is right so what does that mean the the day is somehow is going to achieve for what by whom in what capacity but always that you you cannot get through torah without having interfaced with human beings the whole of torah is the interface with human beings or vice versa so you can explain in any number of ways right in other words you can say like harambam says that it's like fire fire is fire as fire as fire you put it to this thing and it affects it this way you put it to that thing it affects it that way you put it you right okay but fire it so that's how he explains how those jobs like that except that he's conscious whatever just throws wrench into the entire thing okay so there are always going to be paradox when you deal with god look it's important to understand the question that you're asking is a question that has a deeper or more uh preceding question and that question is you shouldn't be here jack nor should anything else if god is what we say god is because how did he create did he change was there some kind of wound created within be all that is him him of course being a borrowed term because he has no genitalia are you real i don't know is that not a valid question based on your question is it not the same line of questioning so aren't you a paradox if god is and you are so either he's not or you're not or both or correct so if we accept our reality as we do right the jewish thought of things in which we accept god and we accept you which is good news for you jack right the reality of you and god is a paradox and there's a paradox that we accept into this because if you believe yourself to be uh fake not a reality well then that's something that you have to deal with but if you recognize yourself to be reality but you also recognize yourself not to be the primal reality the first entity the source of all things you recognize that it must be that i don't know how you get from that nobody does it just is you're here right so the difficulty that people have with that in the west is that they need everything to be logically beautiful east is that they are okay with paradigms they manage with both end they don't need everything to be either poor so to better understand that without thinking that it's just an explaining way of things it's important to read eastern thought because it helps to be able to become more familiar with how okay good with that we will call it a night or day or day or wherever you are thank you so much thank you

Channel: The Ḥabura

Views: 299

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: Lh-LxC_Hxg4

Length: 73min 43sec (4423 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 14 2021