Speaking the Truth in Love in a Post-Truth World

[Music] well as a pastor's wife of 45 years and a biblical counselor there is a phrase that I have often used with those that I counsel in fact I use this phrase more than any other phrase when I am giving counsel the phrase is speak the truth in love it might be an answer I give to a wife who doesn't know how to confront her husband or her child it might be the counsel I give to a church member who doesn't know how to confront another church member who is sinning it might be the counsel I give to an employee who doesn't know how to speak to her boss about an issue at work it might be to a family member who doesn't know how to speak truth to another family member it might be to someone who is unjustly accused or confronted or to a customer who's dealing with a business that is demonstrating a lack of integrity now these are just a few of the scenarios we're speaking the truth in love is needed and ladies we would have to admit that speaking the truth in love is difficult but our world makes it more difficult and what I mean by that is we live in a post truth world truth is no longer truth I could tell you tonight the sky is purple and you would say no Susan the sky is blue and I'd say no it is purple because I believe it's purple and so when you and I as Christians are trying to speak truth in a post truth world where truth is relative truth is whatever you believe that is truth then it makes it very very difficult in fact when we speak the truth in love we are often thought of as archaic judgmental profiling and not revelant revelant to society in fact you often we find ourselves speaking lies instead of truth appealing to people's emotions rather than their intellect and being Friends of the world rather than bring a friend of Christ so tonight what I'm going to endeavor to do is to answer the following questions what is speaking the truth in love why must we speak the truth in love why don't we speak the truth in love where do we speak the truth in love when do we speak the truth in love how do we speak the truth in love and then what is the result of speaking the truth in love and I know that seems like a lot but don't worry I'll have you out in time to go to bed by midnight maybe if you're lucky remember I have edited a lot of this material ok the first question what is speaking the truth of love ladies before we can understand all the particulars of speaking the truth in love we first must know what it is when I'm counseling a woman and I tell her and she says what should I do and I say you need to speak the truth in love what am i Townes counseling her to do well the phrase speak the truth and love comes from Ephesians 4:15 in order to understand that verse we need to read it in its context ok so if you have a Bible this is not an exegetical study tonight this is more topical but we will be using the scriptures as our plumb line for what we teach Ephesians 4:11 2:16 says this and look at the context very carefully and he himself gave some to be apostles some prophets some evangelists some pastors and teachers for the equipping of the Saints for the work of ministry for the edifying of the body of Christ till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God to a perfect man to the measure of the statue of the fullness of Christ that we should no longer be children tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine by the trickery of men and the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting but speak the truth in love may grow up in all things unto him who is the head Christ from who the whole body joined and knit together by every joint supplies according to the effective working by which every part does its share and it causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love now ladies we look at the context Paul is talking about spiritual gifts he lists some of the spiritual gifts and then he tells them why we use our spiritual gifts in the church to equip the Saints to build up the body this is very important listen very carefully speaking the truth in love includes the idea of using our spiritual gifts to equip the body this is very important keep in mind when you speak the truth in love it's not about you it's about the person you're talking to you are concerned for their spiritual growth they are a part hopefully of the body of Christ and you have concerns and so I think that is helpful when we're thinking about this you want to do what is best for them and so Paul says we speak truth well what is truth his word is truth right and so ladies when we're speaking we're gonna talk about this in just a minute when we speak the truth in love we need to speak what God says often when I'm counseling someone are trying to help them I say point the person to the Word of God and what he says so we speak the truth in love what does that mean well it's a gob a love so what does that mean so if I'm going to lovingly go to another person I love them and I love them enough that I'm concerned about their spiritual Worth welfare I'm concerned about their actions I'm concerned about their attitudes and so I speak the truth in love out of love for them now I will say this often you might lose the relationship you have to put that before the front of your mind many times you risk the relationship but ladies we should be more concerned about them than ourselves I've mentioned this before a gal that Doug and I talked to years and years and years ago we said some very hard things in the counseling room and she went off mad years later she came back and she said what you said in that counseling room haunted me and I couldn't get it out of my mind so you might risk the relationship and it might be temporary and they may come back like that we should love each other enough to warn one another of the danger they're in even if there's a price to pay in the process ladies when we speak the truth to others and we give them counsel we don't use our own words we speak God's words Paul says I didn't use my own clever speech and so man's words have no value but God's words have value now the second time this verse is used in Scripture is in Ephesians 4:25 notice what Paul says therefore putting away lying let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor why because we're members of each other so ladies instead of using my mouth to lie I am to speak truth God is truth we are his children we are his image bearers we are to represent God and so we speak truth now listen very carefully this does not mean I go around telling everybody everything and what I think about everything you know my husband says you don't always used to say this he doesn't say anymore now he says why are you so quiet but he used to say you don't have to offer your opinion about everything so we don't have to go around telling everybody how what I think or what I feel you should be wise with your speech you should be discreet but you should be a truth teller for example somebody comes to you at church they may be even tonight how are you doing oh I'm fine is that always true no it's not so if you say oh I'm fine when you're not fine that's a lie right you're not speaking the truth you could say something like I say sometimes I'm partly cloudy or you know it's been a really rough week but I'm trusting the Lord right now or I could really use your prayers I can't talk about this issue but no I'm not really fine and so we speak the truth in in fact Paul goes on to say that we speak truth to our neighbor he's not necessarily talking about our next-door neighbor he's talking about those within the body of Christ because he says in order to build one another up because we're members of the body but ladies it should be our practice we should speak the truth to all people not just people within the body of Christ but lost people and we're going to talk about all types of people here in just a minute but we should speak the truth in love but especially to those who belong to the household the body of Jesus Christ when we lie to one another especially in the body it hurts the whole body of Christ right so to answer the question what is speaking the truth in love it is this it is speaking that which is correct dr. Lee that which proceeds from a biblically committed life to a person who's in need of correction it is done in love for the benefit of the one who needs some adjustment to their attitude and their actions it's a desire to help that is prompted by love that is what motivates us to do this task now now that we know what it is why do we do this why do we speak the truth in love you might say Susan why should i meddle in another person's life I mean do you know what kind of life I have my life has enough problems of its own why do I need to create more problems by speaking the truth in love to someone well we've already seen from what we've already learned we do it because we love one another right that's one reason why do we speak the truth in love we love this person enough to tell them the truth it's not about us it's about their spiritual welfare it's about the body of Christ which is to be a pure ride-rite it is a command from the Lord in Ephesians 4 speak the truth in love also Matthew 18 is very clear a passage that many of you probably are well aware of and have committed to memory if your brother sins against you you do wet go hide in the closet your fingernails No if your brother sins against you you go you tell him his fault between you and him alone if he doesn't hear you you take what two or three more and then if he doesn't hear you you tell it to the church and then what happens in that you know the the pastor of the elder they tell the sin and the center to the church and he's put out and he's treated as a heathen and a tax collector so from that passage we would say we have a responsibility to speak the truth in love not only because it's a command by God but for the purity of the church have you ever thought about that ladies a little leaven leavens the whole lump I have heard of churches where fornication is allowed people know that so people are fornicating they're committing adultery do you know what happens if you allow sin in the church and everybody knows that so-and-so is sinning it weakens the whole resolve of the whole body of Christ to live holy right and so we do it for the purity of the church another reason we speak the truth in love is found in James 5 19 to 20 where James says brethren if you know someone who has wandered from the truth and turns back let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and hide a multitude of sins ladies when we speak the truth in love we can save a soul from death we can help him to turn or her to turn around from the error of his way that is a worthy reason for speaking the truth in love and James says that we also cover a multitude of sins what does that mean well think about it if somebody comes to me and says Susan you're going down the wrong path Susan this sin has got to be stopped in your life and I turn around and go the other way and start obeying the Lord you know what happens my sin stops right my sinning stops therefore it keeps it from being exposed to the whole body of Christ right and if the sinning doesn't stop you know the rest of the story according to Matthew 18 and so James says we cover a multitude of sins the sinning stops and no one else needs to know about it and that's the beauty of that right so why do we speak the truth in love well we speak the truth in love because it's a command we speak the truth in love because if we don't it affects the purity of the church and we speak the truth in love because it has the powerful potential to stop a sinner from continuing their sinful ways and it keeps those sins from becoming further exposed to the whole body of Christ ladies those are four marvelous reasons for speaking the truth in love right well next question why don't we do this why don't we speak the truth in love I'm gonna give you three reasons why we don't do this I will have to tell you in my 45 years of being a pastor's wife one of my biggest pet peeves is a lack of biblical confrontation among Christians I know Christians they will not do the right thing they'll come to me they'll come to my husband to tell me about what so-and-so has done or they'll gossip about the person or they'll hate the person in their heart or they're resentful or they avoid them at church ladies that is wrong that is a sinful way of handling offenses we must do the right thing so why don't we speak the truth in love why do you and I allow offenses to go on for so long well the first reason we do not speak the truth in love is fear of man fear of man we're afraid we're afraid of losing friendships were afraid of losing relationships we're afraid of straining friendships ladies listen very carefully unfortunately this compounds your sin not their sin it makes your sin worse the sin of fear Paul is very clear in Galatians if I seek to please men I am NOT a servant of Christ ladies we cannot be fearful in fact Jesus warns very clearly in Luke 12 do not be afraid of those who can kill your body right but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell ladies fear is a sin I shared this before I did a word study one year on fear years and years ago one of my mentors gave that to me for an assignment and I had to go through the whole Bible you think some of my assignments are hard ladies those of you that I disciple how would you like to go from Genesis to Revelation and I had to do a word study on fear and you know what I discovered that we are it only to fear God we are not to fear anything else or anyone else except there's one command to fear your parents that's it fear of man is a sin and we must put it off so that we're free to help those who need admonishing another reason we don't speak the truth in love is because fear of rejection fear of rejection maybe you're like I don't think I can confront that person Susan I'm gonna be labeled as self-righteous or judgmental or holier than thou or fear we're fearing rejection ladies if that happens to you if you speak the truth in love to someone and they reject you or they call you judgmental or they call you holier-than-thou you know what you can take great comfort because they rejected Jesus too right he came into his own his own did not receive him in fact Peter says in 1st Peter chapter 2 this were you called because Christ suffered for us leaving us an example that we should follow in his steps and it goes on to say that he committed no sin nor was any deceit in his mouth he didn't lie when he was reviled he didn't revile back when he suffered he didn't threaten back he committed himself to the one who judges righteously ladies we can take great comfort in the reality that the Lord was rejected - he spoke the truth they tried to kill him for speaking the truth and he was rejected we can cast our cares upon him we can commit ourselves to the one who judges righteously the last reason we don't speak the truth in love is because we fear not knowing what to say we fear man we fear rejection we fear not knowing what to say now I know this is a legitimate concern but ladies it can be easily remedied by being prepared do you know Paul is very clear that you don't need to go to a Christian counselor have you ever thought about that Paul says in Romans 15 14 to the church at Rome I am confident you all are full of goodness full of knowledge and you all are able to counsel each other if you ever thought about that you don't need to go to a Christian counselor full of goodness full of knowledge you're able to counsel one another but you have to do the discipline of studying the Word of God we for those of you that Rim second Timothy Bible study this last year what did we memorize or hopefully what we memorize study to show yourself approved unto God a workman that needs not to be ashamed rightly dividing the word of truth so what does this mean this means I must know what God's Word says about this specific area of sin before I admonish someone else what does God say about sexual sin what does God say about harsh husbands what does God say about not paying your taxes what does God's Word say about businesses who lie about their products what does God say about wives who are not submissive to their husbands what does God's Word say about anger issues unforgiveness drunkenness homosexuality and employees who are lazy these are just a few of the issues that you might need to address in the life of another person let me ask you a question would you know how to lovingly admonish anyone that is caught up in one of those sins I just listed do you know what God says in his word about these issues ladies we are to speak truth in love right this all sufficient all authority of word of God we have it right here so there's no reason not to be prepared you are competent to counsel you are able to speak the truth in love but you need to know what God's Word says about the issue you need to address so to answer the question why don't we speak the truth in love we don't speak the truth in love because we fear man we fear rejection and we fear not knowing what to say now the next question we want to answer is where where do we speak the truth in love another common question that I get is where do I do this is this something Susan that I'm just commanded to do in my home or with the people in my church am I really supposed to take care of all offenses well the answer to that question is yes you are Paul puts it well in acts 24:16 he says he strives to be void of a conscience that is clear before God and before man and he also says in Romans 12:18 as much as is possible within you live peaceably with all men so with that in mind the answer to the question where do we speak the truth and love is going to be answered in four categories ladies we do this in our hearts in our homes in our houses of worship and in our hostile world we speak the truth and love in our heart in our home in our house of worship and in our hostile world first of all this one is very important we must speak the truth to our hearts listen very carefully to this proverb proverbs 20:27 19 wisely says as in water face reflects a face so a man's heart reveals the man ladies how can we help someone else if we are not honest with ourself first make sure we are clearly seeing the issue in the other person as sinful make sure you I've met many wives they are clouded by bitterness and resentment don't go to try to help somebody else if you got a 2x4 in your eye right get rid of that bitterness and resentment take a good look in the mirror of your heart and do some self-examination how can you help your brother get the little irritation out of his eye when you've got a 2x4 in your eye right and so speak the truth in love to your heart first in fact Jesus is very clear in Matthew 12 out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks and ladies we must properly examine our hearts we must speak the truth to our hearts again we must know what God's Word says about the matter at hand now once we've done that self-examination and our own personal sin and we're confident that we have pure motives that I really love the other person I have their interest in mine I love them I want the glory of God then we prayerfully and humbly are ready to approach another person so speak the truth of love in our heart secondly we speak the truth of love in our homes now ladies this certainly doesn't mean that you speak your mind on every subject that comes up in your home as I said a wise person will taste their words before their you speak them but it does mean that if a child or a spouse or anyone else living in your home has an ongoing pattern of wrong attitude or actions you speak the truth in love to them and yes this includes a wife to her husband I have no idea where that erroneous eye came from but it certainly was not from the Word of God I have heard and read many Christian books that say a wife is never to confront her husband I'm not sure where that idea came from but it's certainly not from the Word of God Matthew 18:15 is clear if your brother offends you you go to him and it doesn't say if your brother offends you unless it's your husband you go to him if your brother offends you you go to him likewise this command applies to children you might need to go to a child and speak the truth in love if a child does not obey his or her parents and only do you need to speak the truth in love but if they're a teknon a little child you need to discipline them right and use the rod but I'll leave that up to Chris for later on this summer ladies I'm convinced Christian homes are in bad shape today for many many reasons and one of the reasons is refusal to take care of offenses you know what we'd rather do we would rather hate our spouse or our child in our heart than to do the right thing we would rather avoid them or lash out in anger at them than to do the right thing but ladies way back in the Old Testament Moses wrote you shall not hate your brother in your heart you shall rebuke your brother and don't allow sin upon him and so this is something that was taught way back in the Old Testament thirdly we must speak the truth in love in our house of worship our house of worship this would include anyone who belongs to a body of believers it doesn't mean the people that just go to this church it might be somebody that lives in Kansas it might be even somebody that lives in India or a foreign country all the believers in all of the world it might be anyone who is sinning we've already stated Matthew 18 that we have a responsibility to go and to I won't go through that again but after hopefully they repent if not then we go through the steps of church discipline and ladies it's that we don't put off the going part I have often told women when they come to me with issues of somebody that they're offended with and the body of Christ I I not only tell them they need to go take care of it but I hold them accountable to take care of it to report back to me that they did the right thing we are to do it in a timely manner Jesus is very clear when you bring your gift to the altar and yet you realize you have something against your brother you go and you take care of it then you come back and offer your gift at the altar in other words don't come to worship if you have something in your heart against another brother or sister in Christ and then right after that verse he says agree with your adversary quickly in other words don't let time go I know people that they will put off confrontation for months and months and years and years and you know what that does it just compounds the bitterness and resentment in your heart and of course it they're sending sitting member just keeps on going on sinning and so ladies we take care of it as soon as possible it's heartbreaking to see those who put off the going part and instead they put on the gossip part get angry part get bitter part ladies this is not right it's not pleasing to the Lord lastly where do we speak that we speak the truth in love in a hostile world we speak the truth in love in a hostile world then ladies notice when you combine all these your heart your home your house of worship and the hostile world that includes everybody right that includes all living people now I want to be very clear I'll give you a red flag warning practicing this will no doubt incur persecution and hatred right Jesus was very clear in the upper room discourse if the world hates you guess what they hated me before they hated you in fact he said you know that he they hated me without a cause and he said if I had come and spoken to them they would have no sin but now they have no excuse for their sin ladies Jesus faithfully spoke to unbelievers about their sin he makes clear that they hated him because of it my friend when you lovingly confront an unbeliever I'm talking about an unbeliever about their sin or their lack of unbelief to the gospel they more than likely will hate you and persecute you for it in fact John the Baptist got beheaded for that right remember when he told her it wasn't lawful for him to have Philips wife and remember he put him in prison and and Herod's birthday was kept and the daughter of Herodias came and danced before him and he was so impressed with her dance he said tell me what do you want I'll give you half of my kingdom so she went and asked her mother you know what should I ask for and she said well ask him for the head of John the Baptist on a platter I mean how does that for a birthday gift and so she went and told him you know that's what he wanted and he chopped his head off you know John told her it wasn't lawful for him to have Philips wife he spoke the truth in love right and it cost him his head it cost him his life now you might say I'm out of here you're not likely to face anything that drastic you might I don't know but it will probably cost you you know Peter wasn't afraid either to speak the truth and love to Paul it says in nuts I'm sorry that's I'm jumping ahead Peter says it's better to suffer if the will of God be so to suffer for doing good than for doing evil so where do we speak the truth in love we speak the truth of love in our hearts our homes our houses of worship in our hostile world now when do we speak the truth in love when do we speak the truth in love as we consider the timing of when we should speak the truth in love it must first be said that we do it quickly Jesus says do it quickly don't wait for a convenient time ladies if you wait for a convenient time more than likely you'll never get around to speaking to anyone else about their sin right in fact I had when I know my heart is heavy about an issue I will try it actually to meet with the person and if I can't I'll call him on the phone I remember several months ago that I called somebody out here in the lobby because I thought I can't I can't worship today until I take care of this and I knew that I had offended the person and I needed to call them and make it right and I wanted my worship to be in spirit and in truth and so we do it quickly Paul says preach the word be diligent in season out of season in other words when it's convenient and when it's not convenient and so we do it quickly as I said in second Timothy - he says preach the word be ready in season out of season convinced rebuke exhort with all long-suffering and doctrine and again Paul is very clear we speak what doctrine the truth God's Word the all-sufficient word why because ladies this is what rebukes our sin this is what corrects our wrong thinking we've seen this before in Hebrews the Word of God is what living it's powerful it's sharper than a two-edged sword right and it Pierce's and it discerns our thoughts and the intents of our hearts ladies no other book has such depth and wisdom in fact Paul tells us when heralding this truth in 2nd Timothy 4:2 he says be ready in season and out of season this means in a moment's notice sometimes if I know I need to talk to somebody I'll say Lord would you help me - you know but brush you know of course now we can't bump into each other but at church well bloom at church or something and so that I have opportunity to talk to them and so we need to be ready to do this when it's convenient and when it's not convenient and it's interesting in this verse Paul gives an outline a helpful progression of what is involved when we speak the truth in love notice what he says if you're in 2nd Timothy 4:2 he says first of all we convince or reprove them so instead of diminishing their sin justifying it we point out the truth of their sin we hold up this work this Bible the mirror of God's Word often what I will do especially fitness in a counseling room I wouldn't do it at church but in a counseling room I will have them open the Bible to the specific thing I want to talk to them about I hand the Bible to them I have them read the passage of Scripture that pertains to their specific sin and then I say what does God say about your anger or what does God say about your sexual sin or whatever and then that is a loving way to reprove them or as Paul says rebuke and I know we don't like the word rebuke and it seems to have a negative connotation but ladies that's what it means we rebuke them not mainly but with God's Word then Paul says after we do that after we rebuke them he says then we may focal back up here sorry we convinced and then rebuke them in other words we show them from the Word of God that what they're doing is wrong and that they need to let go of it or it will master them ladies we don't minimize their sin but we tell them the danger they're in in fact often when you go to those lists and second Corinthians and Galatians it's very clear both of those passages say if you practice these things you will not inherit the kingdom of heaven and so often I will ask them what does God's Word say about your sin well it says it's worthy of hell so you see how serious this sin is if you don't put this sin off if this sin is mastering your life then you are in danger of what of hellfire in fact I remember I've told many of you there several years ago a lady came in for counseling and she said you're the first Christian counselor that told me I'm in sin she said I've been to several Christian counselors you're the first one and I thought to myself what a blight on Christian counseling biblical counseling but more than that what a blight on God and His Word which has power to change lives ladies when we try to minimize people sin or psychologize it there's no hope there is no help but if we point out the sin we can tell them what they need to put off and then what they need to put on instead right and teach them to change the way they live in fact after we've reproved him rebuked them Paul says we exhort what does that mean we bring them comfort ladies when you go speak the truth in love to someone don't leave them discouraged after a reproof always give them hope through the Word of God our sins are often binding but the Word of God has the answers that will free us from those sins how many times in Scripture do we have that put off put off this put off anger wrath malice blasphemy filthy communication out of your mouth don't lie to each other but then what put on is God's children tender mercy kindness humility and so we teach them how instead of being angry when I'm telling someone they need to put off anger I teach them how to put on patience put on contentment put on love because that's why they get angry right because they're not patient and they're not content with what is going on in so that's where we lovingly help them and bring comfort to them and hold them accountable by the way for life change in fact Paul said earlier in that same passage 2nd Timothy 2 when regarding this again this important issue he says we must not quarrel but be gentle right and so we always give hope to people we our tone of voice should be kind our body language should be kind and gentle as we try to help them ladies in fact Paul says in 1st Thessalonians 5:14 we exhort you brethren warn those who were unruly comfort the faint-hearted support the weak but then he says be patient with all right be patient so if I'm warning someone who's unruly I am still to be patient with them there is no reason to correct another person there is no reason to be brash there is no knees reason to be rude we are to do this with all long-suffering and forbearance in fact I know I've shared this too but several years ago when I was speaking and this lady came up to me and and she said I want to talk to you outside she said and she was angry and she was shaking and I kind of was shaking by then too and I usually don't make it a habit to leave wherever I'm at and go out anywhere by myself I always take some with me but I saw Debbie was busy and I went outside and to my surprise she had this verse 2nd Timothy 4:2 in her hand you know reprove resort with all long-suffering and doctrine as she said you see this first right here and I said yeah I see it and she says I'm gonna confront you and I was like okay and I you know I've told you the story she got very physical and started shaking me and and I looking around thinking I can't believe this is happening to me and I was able to diffuse the situation and get back inside but you know thinking back on the situation I wish I had recalled the part of this verse that she forgot and that is with all long-suffering and teaching there was no long-suffering on her part and so we must be gentle when we confront someone ladies the wonderful thing about following the principles laid out on this verse is that the Holy Spirit is the great convince err and convict er of sin our responsibility is to simply deliver the truth then allow the Holy Spirit to convict them and convince them of their sin and that they need to change this does not mean that we never need to rebuke people sharply there are times there they're few but there are times an example would be a false teacher after we reject them and avoid them the Bible even says a man that is a heretic after the first or second admonition you reject and sometimes that must be with a sharp warning also I would say people that are involved in sexual sinning that will not repent that would be a time that you would probably rebuke them sharply they are to flee sexual sin in fact I know in least the churches my husband has pastored sexual sin that is unrepented of is something he puts on the front burner and that person is usually put out of the church pretty quickly if they're not putting it off and so there are times that we need to be firm but most of the time with patience and gentleness especially for those I use the example of anger let's say you you speak to someone about their anger or about their foul language we should exhibit long-suffering and patience in the process ladies people don't change overnight you haven't changed overnight I haven't changed overnight I'm still growing right but Paul is very clear in 2nd Corinthians 3:18 we all with unveiled face beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord were transformed from what from glory to glory as what by the Spirit of the Lord and so change takes time and so as we exercise patience in the waiting process we continually mind those that were helping of what scripture says regarding the sin therein and Paul doesn't say this in the text but while you're waiting and you're helping them pray pray and ask God to give them a heart of change and that they will be softened by the truth so when do we speak the truth in love we speak when it's convenient and when it's not and we do it promptly and with much patience which leads me to the next question we want to answer how do we speak the truth in love how do we do this maybe you're wondering Susan how should I approach someone about an issue well I would encourage you to give this much prayer before during and after your conversation with them pray beforehand that God would open their heart to hear truth pray while you're speaking that your words would not fall on deaf ears or a hard heart pray afterwards that the dear Holy Spirit would do the work of convicting them of their sin and lead them to repentance and ladies coupled with prayer must be patience Paul says in Galatians 6:1 you who are spiritual restore one another in other words what's broken restored in a spirit of meekness considering yourself least you are tempted often I will say to someone that I'm disciple in our counseling I will say I know this is hard what I'm telling you today and I know that you know it's not easy for either one of us but you know what I hope that in two or three weeks that you if you see me in some sin that you will love me enough to come to me right and tell me of the sin that I am in when I need correction Paul says in 2nd Timothy 2:24 the servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle be patient and so ladies when were doing this we must be patient we must not quarrel you can look at the Gospel accounts and you will never see Jesus quarreling he spoke the truth in love and many times he was angry when he spoke the truth in love but he never quarreled and ladies we must not either we must be gentle now speaking the truth in love doesn't mean it's always done with a mild tone or a quiet voice I've thought about this you know Jesus in the temple with the moneychangers I doubt he said you've made my house a house of you know a den of thieves you know it's called the man I bet he you know my house will be called a House of Prayer and you've made it a den of thieves you know and he's I mean it was firm and you might need to use that with a child I had to do that when my kids were growing up go clean up your room the child didn't do go clean up the room my voice got a little first they got a spanking for not cleaning up their room but then I told you to clean up your room and if you don't there you think that spanking was bad the next one's going to be even worse and so I would my tone of voice would get a little firmer and so there are times that we need to be firm in our tone of voice but we never get out of control but we speak the truth in love this was example I wasn't going to share and I ran ahead but remember Paul was a bit firm with Peter remember when he wouldn't eat with the Gentiles and it says in Galatians 2 I was stood him to the face that was not you know you know very gentle I was stood him to the face why because he wouldn't eat with the Gentiles and he was showing his hypocrisy but I will say this most of the time a gentle voice is the best approach proverbs is very clear a soft answer turns away wrath but harsh words stir up anger and so that would be my counsel to you is to be gentle so how do we speak the truth in love we speak with gentleness and humility all the while examining ourselves we also bathe our endeavors in much prayer and I'm going to give you some examples here in just a minute of how to do this all right the last question is what is the result of speaking the truth in love what is the result of speaking the truth in love ladies when we stop to consider the potential results of speaking the truth in love I hope it will motivate you to do it more often not because you're looking I I was telling the gal that I was meeting with right before we came in here tonight I don't like confrontation you know if you ever start liking it then you need to examine yourself there's nothing fun about it but the results of speaking the truth in love should motivate you and I to do it more often because Paul gives several results that come from speaking the truth in love in second Timothy to 25 to 26 he says this in humility correcting those who are in opposition if God perhaps will grant them repentance so they will know the truth and they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil having been taken captive by him to do to do his will so ladies there's fruit that can come from being humble and exhorting others what's the fruit well the first fruit that he mentions is repentance you know what repentance is it's essentially a turning around you're going this way and you turn around completely and go the other way it's a reversal it's a person turning away from their sin and turning towards obedience now the repentance could be if you're if you're talking to an unbeliever it could be their salvation if it's someone who's caught up in sexual sin they stop the sinning if with someone that's lying they start speaking the truth if it's someone that has an anger issue they learn how to be patient and they learn to be content and so there is a repentance there what a wonderful result Paul says also they will come to the knowledge of the truth the truth about what well if it's someone who's an unbeliever the truth about salvation right if it's someone that's caught up you're confronting someone that's caught up in the health and wealth and prosperity gospel they come to the truth of the gospel to understand the lordship of Jesus Christ and the gospel says to take up their cross and deny themselves right it doesn't say that Jesus Christ died to make them wealthy and healthy and wise maybe they're in an air about baptism Micah Paulus was or may be and so they need to be taught the truth about that or maybe they're an error about women preaching to men and so they need to be brought into the truth about that or maybe they're an error about women being submissive to their husbands and so they need to be brought into the truth about that ladies these are just some of the examples how speaking the truth in love could result in repentance and helping someone to learn to know the truth Paul mentions another result of speaking the truth in love he says the person would come to their senses what does this mean well it's like one who's awakened out of a deep sleep they've wakened out of their deep sleep their slumbers Paul probably had this idea in mind Ephesians 5:14 where he says awake you who sleep and arise from the dead and Christ will give you light another result that comes from correcting others with humility Paul says is they escape the snare of the devil what does that mean well the devil has entrapped them with what his tricks ladies do not forget he is a roaring lion walking about seeking whom he may devour and he has devoured many a purse he wants to hunt steal and kill his prey he's behind all lies and everything that is false and he does not want those who are duped into his tactics to be awakened out of their slumber he wants to hold them captive but Paul says if we speak the truth in love some of them will be rescued from the devil's tactics in fact Paul ends this verse by saying they've been taken by the devil captive by the devil to do his will in other words they're in such a stupor they're in such a deep sleep in their sin they're not even aware how deep their sin is they've been held captive by the evil one ladies we must a servants of Christ and good soldiers of his do battle with the evil one because many people's minds are held captive by him now when we put all these things together we see some wonderful things that come from our efforts in speaking the truth in love repentance knowledge of the truth coming to their senses and escaping the snare of the evil one my friend these are excellent results you heard my husband's testimony Sunday about when he came to faith in Christ and how he didn't even know that something he was doing was even a sin but somebody came and showed him some of these people that we talked to don't even know what they're doing is sinful but as we take the Word of God and we open it up and we say look see what God says about your sin and you need to put it off it will master you it could kill you if you don't put it off as we endeavor to speak the truth to those who are in need of it our prayer and hope should always be that repentance and restoration of relationships will take place now having said all this ladies we must be realistic now I want to be realistic with you this evening know this doing the right thing speaking the truth in love will not always produce the results that you desire but it's the right thing to do and you may incur persecution I have counseled many women when they did this it got worse at home the Paul says all those who live godly in Christ Jesus will what suffer persecution and if you haven't been persecuted yet for your faith no worries you will especially if you start speaking the truth in love I know some people will flee from this and they will do everything they can to avoid it but ladies don't shy away from controversy don't shy away from speaking the truth in love don't fear persecution you will receive of it ladies it's a wonderful opportunity to prove your loyalty to the Lord and to draw close to him now this material as I said is by no means exhaustive it's meant to be helpful speaking the truth in love is certainly a popular phrase which is used often in Christian circles but I wonder if we're actually doing it effectively for the glory of God speaking the truth and love in a post truth world is at times challenging but a wise Christian will remember the wisdom of Solomon's words in proverbs 87 for my mouth will speak truth wickedness is an abomination to my lips [Music] you [Music]

Channel: With the Master

Views: 19,499

Keywords: Bible Studies for Women, Christianity beliefs, Christian beliefs, Christianity facts, basic Christianity, free Bible study, Study of God, Obedience, Glory of God, Truth, Lord, Biblical truth, Christian Discipleship, Discipleship, Susan J Heck, Susan Heck, Susan Heck Bible Studies, Lies, Lie, Word of God, Word, Agape Love

Id: DjiqbxtA3oo

Length: 52min 49sec (3169 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 02 2020