SOUTH PARK NEW FUNNIEST MOMENTS!

what has become of this city there used to be laws justice not anymore kram is out of control cats are missing and townspeople are being victimized oh who pooped on my porch we were supposed to protect those who couldn't protect themselves get off her car you little [ __ ] now superheroes are torn apart by political differences we are two sides at war but lore isn't going to save our city time travel is my only hope now myths tell of ancient times when a new king United a kingdom torn apart by a powerful stick hi hon Shannon there's no time to waste I have to go back change the present if I can find this cat and in doing so perhaps I could change what has happened [Music] don't worry this doesn't affect combat just every other aspect of your whole life stay out of the street where you in tight from another universe is behind this door I can't fight him for obvious reasons you know alternative universe paradox [ __ ] so you are going to have to take him out you've got to really kick his ass dude so that he wants to return back to his universe on the east coast you ready all right go get him oh hey Kyle I'm big who's your friend did he come to play with us what do you mean power chain remember I'm not from another universe we're like best super pals as you can see here's the one running around getting to him a kind of bad name he was sent here to destroy me and weaken my powers no no I came to spend two weeks with my cousin and wanted to play superheroes and then he said okay what superhero do you want to be and I said I want to be humankind but he said you can't be human kite I'm you me kite and I said well why can't we be human kites together so I went to aunt Sheila and I said I want to be human kite take care dude and she told him he had to do what I said because I was a guest remember I'm sorry me from another universe but it is time for you to learn that playing superheroes is too painful no kid you must now destroy my alter ego how jay-z's we're gonna fight that's right if you really want to play then this is how you do it well alright anything to make me and my cousin more alike prepare for battle wings you do I need a maybe no fuckboys allowed sign for my door welcome to Freeman's tacos if there's anything I can interest you in well you just let me know leave you have a gender okay can you just hang on a minute I need to call your parents so just take a second oh hello this is mr. Macky the school counselor yes I have your child here in my office and well your child has just let me know that he they identify as being gender-neutral oh you knew that okay well no it's done it's just I believe everyone was under the impression that that they were a boy okay yeah no that's that's great that's great to know I think I can really maybe be of help from here on out on thank you very much okay bye-bye now okay okay well this is a shocker new kid but there's there's nothing wrong with not identifying this is a binary gender you can be whatever sex you want okay even if it's not just be careful okay because there's there's a lot of people out there who don't accept you for what you are and then you're gonna have to deal with them okay so uh but come see me anytime [Music] we don't take kindly to your types around here let's welcome this thing to our town you oh hey I am in your imagination just a friendly Catholic priest who would like to get to know you a little better yeah that's right I'm totally in your imagination too about to give you a shoulder rub never imagined you'd feel something like this let me adjust the lighting in here a bit so we can get some visuals with that right now I'm speaking to you telepathic get out of my head Timmy your franchise is going nowhere face the truth you guys are kind of douchebags he just called us to spec's in mime and he can't fight you son of a [ __ ] back sucker good friend deal with these how much you appreciate the human kite until he's car get out of the street freakin kids [ __ ] you dude it's civil war dick yeah oh yeah who let this guy join us anyway go easy on him you guys he's had a tough life when he was six years old his dad [ __ ] his man what I'm sorry friend but it's time they learned you're a tragic backstory but who doesn't trust anyone because his dad [ __ ] his mom and he couldn't do anything to stop it that doesn't make any sense I know how could the person you trust do that to the only other person you love Cartman everyone's dad [ __ ] to everyone's mom huh that's how it works stupid our dad's [ __ ] our mom's all right so does that mean your dad [ __ ] your mom cam yeah yes my dad [ __ ] my mom that's why I'm here don't steal his backstory dude that's not cool you're so [ __ ] stupid every human alive on earth had a dad who [ __ ] their mom axe not this is not what's important right now we need to find the lady with the dick tattoo yeah let's get home so we can prepare for evening missions let's go yes my old Nana gentlemen with the power of diabetes I hate control I used to be a simple elementary school student but then one day a freak science accident heard my diabetes he said super booing strikes all right psychic we're supposed to go investigate a girl who might know the location of the missing cat follow me [ __ ] [ __ ] so you like this pancake okay well move out all the way I need to go buy some more beer I'm sorry but cut them diabetes not that you drive I'm fine to drive okay yeah I hear they give it like cheese you're right no condition sir I'm fine okay look look I'm fine okay give me my keys I'll return them tomorrow [ __ ] [ __ ] you like to take her to be ID'd know it's kind of short I like I'm short you take the one with the speech impediment come on get some dancers yeah first to get gasses can we talk okay so have you gentlemen ever had gases from a girl with a penis tattoo hey we didn't come back here to talk baby yeah no talking until you finish grinding on our jugs okay you know what this means nobody's allowed back here yeah get lost you want to get to her you're gonna have to go through us bring it on all right guys this is your DJ back from the bathroom looks like we've got a special treat for you tonight the two [ __ ] that farted in my drink are about to get [ __ ] in the face by our very own lovely ladies you little bastards don't [ __ ] up don't get a boot a look out ladies and gents here comes the queen of clippies the mistress of BDSM your dominatrix dream come true it's spontaneous you ain't ready for this boot time I'm gonna crush you in my booty cheeks this is kuhn checking in how's it going for you guys everything cool over there okay keep me updated you know what makes my fart super bed and crafted text me not just any handcrafted tex-mex it's gotta be something extra special you know what to do new kid [Music] I told you to cancel chasing me and you let them here you stupid [ __ ] who you calling a stupid [ __ ] do I look like your mama honey these kids are cops that ain't no cop that's captain diabetes when he was born his mom farted during labor and it gave him diabetes that he uses to fight crime how people get diabetes yet they aren't cops then we can shoot him along with this [ __ ] too oh yeah turning on me I knew I shouldn't win in a visit with y'all Tony Soprano look at [ __ ] so long captain diabetes let's see your diabetes Savior now [Music] wasted on red wine red wine drunk is the worst truck there is let's get the [ __ ] out here all right captain diabetes this is it [Applause] trying to get out on the street it's somebody trying to bring the Italians and Chinese crime families together as she enough small Chuck where is scram bus scrambles we need that reward money for our superhero francese Sonjia Nez Cisco he just some low-class [ __ ] start working two months ago he'd be talking all this [ __ ] about making money off the crime in the city cuz some bigshot white boy be running all the drugs not hookers a [ __ ] right okay uh-uh but not me I'm my own pimp you know what I'm saying it's like I got one investment in this world that's my [ __ ] and I ain't putting no mortgage on that to some high-paying [ __ ] talk about trying to make no money off crime and [ __ ] crazy I'm sorry but what about the cat's owner Cass okay that's this little asian freak named Jackie mama some [ __ ] like that he going around paying all these little sixth graders to take people's cast that's [ __ ] up I think taking that [ __ ] and like taking mine you know what I'm saying that's like criminal [ __ ] where do the cat go I can tell you but I ain't saying [ __ ] until I know I'm safe you understand these [ __ ] ain't playing and I need to know you gonna protect my ass Eric Cartman do you have any idea what time it is this is a school night mom not now we're seriously onto something you kids all get home now or I'm calling your parents sorry mrs. Cartman please don't tell my mom and who is this stripper woman these comb friends offer me protection well she's not staying here fine Fastpass take her to your house okay right good morning South Park good morning South Park a new vigilante took to the streets last night and is apparently single-handedly taken down the fam bony crime family here with more is a [ __ ] in a bikini Tom I'm standing outside the buca di faggocini where the vigilante declared war on crime in South Park security camera footage showed a young person farting in people's faces on their balls it was just terrifying the kid came in and just started farting on people it was out of nowhere bad maybe someone's finally standing up to what's wrong with this city this new kids a hero the kids a menace if you ask me how long before he or she kills an innocent person how long before daredevil becomes the Punisher huh three season three seasons police called to the scene found a treasure trove of illegal items that they claimed might tie the Italian restaurant to a larger crime syndicate this may be just the tip of the ice Oh is your friend looking for an energizing mental feeling or more of a full body hot I don't know well I'll send over our expert budtender who can help you out hey do you want to get half oh hey Oh howdy it's not you into rehab daddy but now back in South Park clean and sober almost a year clean and sober no drugs at all can I tell you what I don't listen and you work here in a pot store cannabis erican yeah it's great now I get high helping people cure their insomnia back pain migraines and stress naturally did you know that ancient Chinese gave cannabis to their infants for TV I have an addictive personality so I'm cool without it and now I got a kid with my ladies so better to stay on the straight and narrow you know you have a kid right that turns out I had one the whole time I was too hard to realize now I'm holding down a job and paying the rent but I'm also doing good helping people find the herbal remedies they need to combat all the modern stressors of a job and taxi is a traffic and wife written down my neck about the department but alley we got a leak why can't you fix it I'm not a [ __ ] plumber okay we're here to pick up our friends medicine for name is classy Oh classy classy with a wire with the clip hanging off it coming around and looking the [ __ ] out of the seat no no no no it's classy with a dick hanging off the eye that's [ __ ] the L out of the SS oh that classy sure I got her order she likes the banana crush for back pain and some of the platinum Oh what the [ __ ] well put the chillax push in with the old G mellow bliss what the [ __ ] you're a putz people don't want to mix their mellow it's cool relax no it is not nothing cool I'm trying to run a legitimate business here and my back hurts I can't sleep I got no appetite this shitty town is so [ __ ] up we gotta buy all our product from [ __ ] six players and who knows what this [ __ ] don't put knit it [ __ ] top it off I got a couple of little dick liquors last door [ __ ] and now you got a problem with me I'm not just gonna sit here and do nothing while you insult this man's ethnicity that wasn't insulting excuse me did you or did you not say that this man seemed tired yes he's my friend I said Paulo you look tired microaggression persons of Hispanic backgrounds have been stereotyped as being sleepy and saying they look tired as a microaggression that will not Stern but I am tired you you're the new kid right I'm the principal of your school my name is PC principal I was told you wanted to talk to me about some race issues okay come at me onto my body I became a superhero while my father was left mentally impaired [ __ ] you [ __ ] your face Randy get in here right now and stop keying my car okay but this is different my father's acting even stupider than ever before it's impossible there's only one person I know of who can disguise himself so easily and it's the same person who might have a motive for tearing South Park apart who Mitch Conner [ __ ] Cotter oh no no no no no no no who's Nick Turner it's Carmen's dumbass hand puppet you know damn well that Connor was just using my hand to suit his needs at first he disguised himself as Jennifer Lopez who loves tacos and burritos when his cover was blown he was arrested by the police but escaped but why would he want to take down south huh and where would he get all his money shut up it's not mentioned with [ __ ] Conner javi you now know Kylie's right you guys it couldn't be Mitch Connor Connor died in an oil rig explosion in northern Alaska [ __ ] this I'm going to bed yes yes good idea give me card everyone get back to your homes it's getting late let's all reconvene tomorrow after [Music] and now the news program that starts your day out right good morning South Park the South Park vigilante struck again last night this time at a meth lab in the downtown hue storage facility here with more is a [ __ ] in a fedora Tom six people were arrested last night after the vigilante exposed a huge meth lab in the storage facility behind me eyewitnesses have come forward with shocking reports that the vigilantes parts were so awful they seemed to actually rip the fabric of time you ain't never heard of fart like this man he was like one minute he farted on my dick and the next thing my dick was like 20 seconds in the past finally someone is standing up to all the crime in this city if you ask me these people here all deserve to be farted on he's a menace if you ask me how long before this vigilante gets radical and blows up a school or a church huh how long before Captain America becomes captain ideology huh the third Captain America movie how long was that about six years about six years dozens of protestors gathered outside the police station today as a warrant was issued for the vigilantes arrest the city will not be victimized by Crusaders is sneak around and fart on people at night we urge all citizens to arm themselves and fight against this kind of rectal oppression [Applause] yeah yeah it's me nobody knows anything about this kid not what race he is not even if it's a boy or a girl what do we do sir just keep getting the product into people's drugs and alcohol I'll handle the vigilante this deals getting out of control you said you could get the mayor out of office you wanted to be left alone commissioner to do what you love doing I've made that happen just stay calm and soon everyone will have exactly what they wear no oh here we go [Music] where have you been mister oh hey Dad I better but I just I just been hanging out with my new friend Annette she didn't come home last night but us your mom and I were worried sick we could barely enjoy the movie we were watching I'm sorry Dana I've just been your friend did you really mean sorry's not gonna cut it mister and you what's your name you got season you don't have state I asked you a question who are you please please don't do this that does it butters you are grounded and so is your smartass little friend [Music] looking for answers mr. Connor sends his regards he wanted to come himself but he's a very busy man he mentioned some horrible tragedy happened to your mother funny how a few moments in our lives can completely change who we are huh and now you're gonna be taken out by assassins known as the city ninja service you know what to do it and when you're done hey you forgot to pay me after it's done no no no you have services I'll be shooting into service you'll pay your badge that's a that's on the website you don't sound Japanese you sure you're really ninjas look at my [ __ ] eyes come on give me a check made out to a shitty major service just get it over with ninja I'm afraid we got paid to assassinate you today so we have to do that of course on rice you want to pay us not to $5,000 okay if you don't want to pay bribe but you're gonna have to MIT if I can't use my mobile devices I can't save this town let's go find out what's wrong with this place having a lot of problems connecting to the Internet you weren't the people who worked here last week I knew it the phone company's been taken over by people thanks for coming you kid alright so this is the person you wish to have co-sign for you well that's correct see I hired a bunch of minions to help me destroy the town but my plan didn't actually come to fruition so I'm unable to pay the minions at this time all right well what we can do is set up an LLC for you which we can use to fund a money market account co-signed by your friend here whose house we can put a lien on to an overseas investment and it's gone what's gone your friend's house it's got owned by a company in Hong Kong now thank you you have a nice day but I just needed to pay my minions yeah I didn't mean to get my friend's house take it away yeah you're not too good at this economic stuff huh perhaps your friend should play yeah you play new kid round and round she goes where she stops nobody knows all right Kate try your luck you you [Music] you they are those are those damn kids that paid immigrant workers yeah they got a loan to pay their minions so you know what that means they took our job they did birthday ain't a beauty wait a minute I thought we were mad because of their gender choice and sexuality and stuff no those are those other guys we just want our driver Bebo well let's get your jobs and make fun of them for their former self-identification ah no fetch Connors plan hey there right you mean he was putting poison in our wine and cocaine y-yeah I tell you bad because the new kid isn't the only person who had a parent get [ __ ] my dad got [ __ ] when I was 9 years old what only two people on this stage know how that feels stop with that already Shh I want to hear this my father would be avenged even if it means everyone else has to die Mitch Mitch it's over man what the hell are you doing here I've been here all along soon it's not your fault Mitch it's method what are you talking about it was me Mitch I'm the one who [ __ ] you're dead what you [ __ ] my dad man well I did it for Ellison I wanted a future for you how these years hunting for the person that [ __ ] my dad and it was my own mother Mitch try and stay calm [ __ ] you King you may be really cute but even you can't fix this did he look at you man huh did he look you in the eye when he snuck up and sucked him Mitch it was a long time ago not to me it's everything it forgive her Mitch please tell me you're not buying into this I'm gonna kill you for what you did well thank God that guy isn't gonna be mayor come on everybody let's go get clean drugs and alcohol from the next town over [Music]

Channel: LethalLev

Views: 1,701,736

Keywords: Xbox One, south park, angry joe, south park funniest moments, south park funny moments, south park the fractured but whole, south park cartment, south park new season, south park inappropriate moments, pewdiepie, south park review, south park hilarious, south park jared, south park randy, south park the stick of truth, south park top ten

Id: WsrGub0Hs-A

Length: 27min 45sec (1665 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 01 2017