Sonja Lyubomirsky - the how of happiness

egg hunt tonight on 20/20 January 11th 2008 happiness how do you get it how can you measure it we're traveling the globe in search of etiquette how happy are you what keeps people smiling having kids acting like kids jobs sex the five C's cause cash credit cards condominium and Country Club or is it something in your brain that money can't buy why is one of these identical twins happy and the other not why is this Prince a carpenter and this trash man treated like a king how can you be the happiest in the world in a country where caning is common and what's the most miserable country tonight the secret solutions to floating your boat literally our brains are just waiting to be transformed that gets beyond your reach just watch and now john stossel and elizabeth vargas good evening and welcome to 20/20 tonight happiness what wouldn't you give for it but can you get it for free are you born with it is it in your DNA yes actually it is but you can also create more of it for yourself no matter who your parents were trying to find happiness is the search of a lifetime but in just this one hour we're going to give you the experts thoughts on what you can do to make a difference in your life here's bill we're in pursuit of happiness but can adults adjust their own feelings of happiness University of California psychology professor dr. Sonia Lyubomirsky says yes and on the cover of her new book the how of happiness she slices your overall joy like a pie the big slice half the pie is set by your genes while this sliver just 10% comes from life circumstances where you live how much money you make even how you look if it seems like these factors should make up much more of the pie meet Caroline Johnson four years ago she volunteered for the ABC show Extreme Makeover her broken noses straightened her upper lip lower reshape you get all this amazing plastic surgery did it make you happy I think about a year it made a difference people are seeing you for the first time and they compliment you all the time and then once all that wears off it's just normal life again like Caroline most people eventually return to their happiness set point after big changes in life researchers have even noticed this in lottery winners and newlyweds which is why dr. Luba Mirsky says life circumstances only account for 10% of total happiness and that leaves a big piece of pie one she says you can control that 40% is left for the intentional activities that we can choose to engage in the things that we do and think every day of our lives by those things we could increase or decrease our happiness Caroline makes an ideal test case for this 40% theory because she has an identical twin named Cat Cat and Caroline's share the same genes the same upbringing they live in the same area and like her sister cat also had an extreme makeover but when dr. Luba Mears key gave them both questionnaires designed to measure their levels of happiness Caroline rated above average 5.5 eight out of seven while cat scored very low borderline miserable that's a three and a quarter it was striking out differently to off and it's a pretty stunning gap you're much happier than you are does that surprise you I had already assumed that she's happier than I am Caroline the happy twin is a married mother of three boys and a self-employed dog groomer her business has hit a rough patch lately good girl how's your business doing you know it's good it's slow so cute are you optimistic I'm very optimist I have goals I know where I want to be by next summer I have definite goals I expect to meet cat the unhappy twin is a single mother supporting her seven-year-old as a hair stylist and she has a completely different outlook on the future I don't feel like I'm progressing as much as I want to in my job or just the financial situation so a lot of times that it just feels like it just weighs on me too much and I just feel like I'm not gonna get out of it we have an appointment scheduled and here we really see major differences between the level of optimism that they have Caroline be more optimistic more sort of committed to pursuing life goals so optimism and pursuing life goals are two qualities of happy people a third is the ability to nurture meaningful relationships while caroline has her husband cat struggles with the dating scene I don't have somebody that can just hold me you know because I'm having a hard time what are you looking for in a guy I don't know I feel like I'm totally giving up oh did she do picky she's very picky they're gonna look different in ten years it doesn't matter what this while cat blames her unhappiness on the struggles of single motherhood dr. Luba Mirsky says it's not her circumstances but her attitude it's such a fascinating case because they're identical twins so we know that their differences in happiness can't be explained by genetics it's their outlook it's what they do exactly and dr. Davidson would agree he's studied the brains of Buddhist monks men who spend their lives deliberately forcing positive emotions and their happiness is off the charts his new data claims that if a person sits quietly for half hour a day just thinking about kindness and compassion their brain will show noticeable changes in just two weeks in many ways this is the most important idea in neuroscience in the last decade our they're always being transformed but we can take responsibility and change the brain in more positive ways and dr. Luba murski says there are many more strategies gratitude forgiveness relationships savoring the present moment she admits they sound corny and old-fashioned but grandmotherly advice like count your blessings now has scientific research to back it up but can you force those emotions can you force yourself to be more grateful to be more compassionate research is showing pretty convincingly now that happiness is really within us it's not outside of us it's in what we do it's sort of how we act how we think every day of our lives

Channel: KurtSchwengel

Views: 81,047

Keywords: Sonja, Lyubomirsky, the, how, of, happiness

Id: qv6xYmh4Y-w

Length: 6min 58sec (418 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 18 2008