Something Like a Business (2010) | Full Movie | Kevin Hart | David Alan Grier | Tasha Smith

Washington DC my City home of the hustlers baby I mean everybody's got a hustle in DC we got flea markets that's where everybody's selling any and everything we got Ben's Chili Bowl bit my selling chili for damn near 50 years can you imagine that somebody get rich off chili Ben did it oh that right there that's the best indie hood mink he had all types of us hi I'm Sebastian D hood to third are you sure that baby's yours are you paying child support and you get that uneasy feeling that the mother of your child is not forthcoming with the truth that child don't have any of your features and you don't know what to do now for just $395 hood enterprises can get you results in 24 hours just 24 hours with a 99.9 percent accuracy rate just get us some DNA from the alleged scene swab the baby's mouth or you can send us a hair follicle or you can just get it we don't care where you get it from just get it here's Nick when our satisfied customers my son Nick jr. is 3 years old and I must admit I was a bit apprehensive when he was born I sent in our DNA and within 24 hours our results came back and I'm happy to say I am Nick juniors father I'm absolutely sure now remove all doubt and get us that DNA today call hood enterprises today the DNA specialists and remember if it ain't hood it ain't good but the biggest hustle of all was my uncle 3d there is 3d he raised me in my cousin he was like a father to us Joe Joe where you hurt they stuck at home that's ok all true ball and strike out every now and then you can't let that slow yo roll you gotta pick up that pimp stick and keep on swinging [Music] you better back up so I got my blue and [Music] Mao was at every important events with me he was there Here I am a 16 and my first job interview how long does he have to work focus benefits kick in when can he take his first vacation now you say this sir eight-hour work day right but if he started work at seven and ended folk that's nine hours but what if you don't take a lunch break all those four 15-minute breaks he should be about this [ __ ] by 2:00 every afternoon I'll have my attorney look over those papers oh and one more question if a frog had a glass ass would he break it every time I move I'm [ __ ] with you baby come on now I'm Jojo yep that little chocolate drop right there see now all I ever wanted to own my own thriving business right here in a neighborhood I mean I got my degree from UDC so I was ready for the world since I was good with numbers my uncle you could always had me counting all night sometimes at 3:00 in the morning [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] we all lived in my uncle's house who's with us well let's start with my plane eyes that's my aunt mahogany she had a wooden leg that she's special water from Oregon when she believes has termites and has a broken hinge so it doesn't bend at the knee then avoid debates with her trust me you just won't win yeah she's from New Orleans had to relocate for obvious reasons she's like a mother to all of us now my uncle's chief enforcer was pal P Oh w sin for pinball wheels his special made chair can get him airborne and in a matter of seconds he's whooping your ass don't let her get a leg up on you all right what's then there was my cousin Avery we're more like brothers rather than cousins it was always a competition between us for my uncle's attention who's always coming up with different ways to make money they never made sense though never come on sale P see that huh that's clean P I'm bout to have his plants set up all across the country I'm a system of a very barns house the Tour de France NBA NFL I'm telling you man I'm about to get paid off a piss hey listen do this for me um every cup that you put your mouth on in this house I want you to put your name over for me guess I don't double up on what you just did use this gamey way come up this cup of piss if you don't got time for the clean Pete and you traveling you were vegan and something like that put it with some noodles cup of beat that's smart yeah every special phone work to catch who took Sparky from me right there that's vanity the one holding on to the flyer of our dog that's been missing for two days and yes she's blind people are you talking to Mia every I'm looking at both of y'all yeah I apologize vanity really thinks she looks like Halle Berry but nobody has guts to tell otherwise actually I had people tell me that me and Halle was like you know twins like we just look just alike that's it no doubt she definitely suffers from high self esteem she doesn't like unattractive men I mean she's got a good outfit don't think that hand hers is very yeah oh I'm sorry but I do not do trolls you gonna have to kick rocks then here's my uncle's chief moneymakers starlight you can't DC on business or you needed a date on your arm for upscale function you want to start like she's pretty as woman I've ever seen mmm I like to beat them back pockets uncle was the man I mean I know I keep saying was as in past tense that's cuz my uncle died uh three weeks ago on his birthday Negroes oh and a man with a microphone that's sweet Peyton profit he's been my uncle's right-hand man for years I mean paying has a vocabulary that can't be matched maybe you talked to him you need a dictionary on hand with here's a transgenerational servitude to matriculate the financial reinvestments a reciprocal short-term windfall just say the [ __ ] toast okay that's sexy silk and a big guy right there that's rock stone that's his assistant slash bodyguard slash man peasant slash I don't know what he is Syd was my uncle's a long time right I mean silk was ruthless when it comes to business I ain't never seen anything like it me pretty much thanks he's the artist formerly known as Prince me personally I think it looks like it broke down a little Richard just a darker uglier version for a pretty [ __ ] interrupted he caught your point rock stone is okay I am pretty I like to bring 3d to the stage ladies and gentlemen 3d ladies out here too so that means you losing money so I'm gonna keep this short I'm hoping out thanks again all right Jojo Avery what we wanted to [Laughter] [Music] [Applause] now drink up everybody cuz the party's over about an hour cuz some of these ladies have a sweet matriculate be financial reinvestments a short-term windfall such a great party oh so beautiful sweetie 3d oh my god you guys I think he's [Music] [Music] we buried him now yeah we buried him in his favorite outfit and and in his favorite car I mean we we had no idea that my uncle was allergic to chinchilla who would know that and just write that on people's heads the coroner said that his esophagus swelled up and cut off his air supply two days later I received my uncle's will which I know absolutely nothing about my uncle never paid any of his bills on time none of I mean there's a 10-year lease on the Mercedes that we buried a man so because of these problems I decided to run this dating service a little different Jojo we got a problem Starlite is missing come to find out sexy silk is stolen are from 3d enterprises he didn't even wait for them to throw dirt on my uncle's Mercedes and guess what guess who gets nominated to confront me let's go go go hey hey sexy Jojo you got something and I want it back your nose running through my brain is me thinking that you better have her dressed and have her ready cuz I'm about to get there and pick her up hello and you're here to pick up who's YouTube stop I don't work for y'all no more no no no started she she's still employed by through the enterprises listen Jojo starlight is no longer in your employ so stop trippin you know how to game is play baby I'm the prettiest pimp in DC baby come on [ __ ] let me speak to her starlight going to talk to him you got about 30 seconds now you know you get ready for an appointment she's getting ready for an apartment JD hi hi Jojo I love you guys next time I see you I'm a whoop yo ass we were just gonna have to take this thing to another level now when I first came to DC it was me and my three kids 3d he's gone above and beyond the call of duty for me and my kids he's given us a place to stay he's given my life a sense of stability and meaning guys he has single-handedly helped everyone in this room I've been to hell and back we can and we will overcome this black asses down somewhere I'm gonna come in there knock the hell out now shut up now one monkey don't stop no show no we have to just work extra hours then guess what guys we will work extra hours if we got to recruit more girls hey guess we got to go out there and recruit some more girls let's do that I'll do that my size if we have to give more reach-arounds yeah we got to give some more dirty sanchez it she's what she's yeah what's the dirty sanchez the competition was getting fierce as mama died all kinds of folks started showing up on our block trying to take over that's Neiman Marcus he runs the most profitable escort business Northeast DC yes he's gay and yes he's bipolar Costas is that jr. get your behind out the car constantly don't let me drag you out here to embarrass you in this street somebody old man she knows what the problem is I don't have my girls out in the public with their heads looking like that Brisco look at ya hey now get back in there and finish doing your business and if I catch your hair looking like that again it's gonna be you and me stop right there we just hold your doggy for you I cannot for the life of me figure out why male pigs always stayed so damn busy some people say they put extra meat and every dish hey girl hey JJ what's going on man Jojo whatever business is very good well how did you proceed business is good for us too god damn it yeah I see damn it damn it - you got to lean on me so alright oh my god stone look I wrinkled Chop Suey handle it so take a listen it's Jojo like that's my birth name my mom gave me that just do the head just call my mom called me so AJ choo-choo choo-choo Jojo whatever it's all the same to you yes so listen I'm willing to break you off 75 campaign mm plus 5% on the backend no pun intended oh and I was sick now I'm at the past I mean do the escorts I think we're doing fine we're doing pretty good okay 6% yeah I'm still gonna pass stop give him one of my business card and call me after you think about it um okay well I got this let me put in my pocket oh I gag is it too big all right just think about it thank you Andy man this is good 93.9 wky yes it's your girl Jeanne Jones the kitty of the city yeah ladies one of my little juice pods told me that Jojo over three D Enterprises is looking for you that's right ladies we are looking for you cuz we're not doing too well so we went down to the Lanham Center home of the BTE offices as black television entertainment bout people stay tuned like they was auditioning for 105 in bidding room just a shade off you know just just one little show you close them thanks for coming yes yes oh my goodness look at that look at that I think I like this way this way this way I'm thinking no so the account executive wouldn't take my money because they felt running commercials about a dating service with exploiting the great women and how BTE is strict policies against it we have high standards here at BTE showing women in a negative light is just not something we would do I have some cookies that I miss to be proper order no Scout could go Scout cookie you know what Sasha this is really good no I'm saying like you gotta stop this you're not even together stupid we don't try to keep sir yes I have some cookies that mr. profit ordered for fundraising and this one right here is my favorite one this one is called pink who trainee who food things you know visage [ __ ] you really starting to make me mad okay you know why cuz this is not who you are uh-huh she's annoying well it was Saturday afternoon and competition was crazy so crazy my line was down the block and even brought the biggest pimp in DC yeah come and sexy silk with his punk ass oh man we gotta do something these Negroes are stealing all my best prospects you're taller than me I can't see Joe can you guess who it is yeah are you aware that you need to have a permit to have an assembly of this many people on public property it's a violation of section code 15 - 4 3 2 I don't I don't even know what you just said I really don't are you aware of a freedom of assembly because that's all we know what true troll troll troll troll that's true so then unfortunately they are blocking the entrance to a couple of businesses you know what I'm saying but I'm sure between those brothers we can work something out loud cow this man is clearly violating the law to which we've got to oppose take a look at this flyer they're recruiting [ __ ] for Christ's sake a recruiting [ __ ] for questions not your brother Wow ok we're not breaking any laws here now I understand the hypothetical ramifications for which you have predetermined an invasive breach of inconsequential incongruent confidentiality of said group Wow but the difference is beyond the trespass of sole proprietorship which would make you possibly have enhancement of telephonic enforcement to this here establishment have you ever thought about becoming a lawyer taking a few pass that well stated with something what's wrong with you we need to cite this that we need come on up sir this is America we have freedom of assembly now can I please see a copy of the code that were supposedly buying yeah I've been at least a dozen times I never seen you before that's probably out working oh yeah actually I do okay yeah okay listen we're just tired of you guys shaking us down business is bad sir come on we have no money and the economy under this current administration has put a squeeze on Americans and guess what it's $3 at the pump I got it we should start charging $3 Wow hey what are you doing feeling on your face to see if you find so what do you think oh you definitely a pretty boy but you know that was 17 and a half pumps right I told you to take your time don't forget the okay wait a minute these coupons is expired uh you need to Auto that coupon because I've been out of the country the last two months that's a damn lie saw your ass in the line how do you see me how did you see me which I'm filling out on your questionnaire right here I don't care what you write down pretty boy you need to pay me my money I'm not paying you anything vanity baby go get in the car what's this guy supposed to do you've got five seconds to give me her money or what man I don't want to hurt you three two one Oh will you get my back - real quick please because America has lost its sense of what's important now let me get something straight I am a registered voter and I will exercise my god-given right to vote and know my rights now unless you can show me somewhere in this penal code exactly what code has been violated here I highly suggest that you go find some real criminals to mess with and back up out of my face good thing that you need no but I think we better jet can you please talk to you wolf now just for y'all information will come about to get them people out the street in the house like I'm about to do that ASAP well thank you and the sooner you get that done the better ok have a marvelous day oh and by the way you're behind again in your payment situation I got your sound sonogram see the little penis and look just like your new penis is the most st. no sonogram so x-rays of teeth you go see the H oh yes there and he's gonna take care all your needs also we have paid vacation and all paid holiday you understand nonsense also you gotta work on all the black holidays because as you know those are most busiest think you can handle the job oh yes we can be some real freaks and we do everything together excuse us ladies sexy what are you doing I'm just doing my job a these women are out here because of us our hard work you're finally man rock stuff did you see that - well be trying to tell you sexy them or Chinese twins that Siamese twins with your dumb ass that's the same thing rock stone they I joined at the hips baby that is some freaky [ __ ] will you may get him up to come no no leave them that's double the money baby sexy I'm talking to you man you done already in the snow starlight now you out here being straight up greasy and disrespectful it's 18 different types out this [ __ ] man why are you coming down on me because your trifling that's why no no sorry what's gonna look like rock stone as big as you is beating up a little guy like him in a wheelchair I don't discriminate come on baby boys touch the button I'll be on your way you know the Lord has given you all the ingredients for you to be truly successful in this business I'm a Christian man with Christian values and I must say I see the values in that tight body and those beautiful breasts that's Deegan windfall right there he's a legitimate pass of a huge Church in Fort Washington that right there is a Lipa Chino he's Iranian but he thinks he's mafioso yep he's not Italian nobody really doesn't want to tell him no for obvious reasons I think you thought you were talking to me stay away from her I stopped for you okay I don't want any problems I understand why you are taking by this beautiful young lady but unfortunately she has already been chosen oh so you are talking to me you must not know who you're talking cuz I come bearing you like a cockroach you know excuse me hey you wanna play rough you wanna play rough huh okay I'll play rough stop everybody free without Neil 16 everybody freeze I'm gonna cut somebody hey what's your name baby it's Tabitha oh just some stuff I used to use on my old job it's your old job oh yeah I used to work at the universal circus Universal circus I like that when I see pigs how do you say sir big big big top yeah my man little Zeke and you got the other piece rock stone I asked you not to do that baby no come here come here you have been in no sex yeah I really was I wait watch this you know cuz I go rock star won't take you to the car and you can you do a little audition for me back at the pants oh are you pop lucky interrupt Tabitha yeah ooh don't dance no more how do the dance is not working out oh yeah don't you try the pole oh yeah I do the pole yes listen I think you have a little problem with coordination oh no no no your coordination off and I I don't know what to tell you I can do it you can listen baby sexist girls need to be sexy well you just give me another chance I can please baby I just don't think it's gonna work out okay shut up listen get yourself something to eat on the way oh that's nice rock stone [Music] [Music] did you really swallow the hosel yes I did wait oh lordy mercy can you start tonight baby yeah your money maker shake your money maker he's getting late but there's still a few beautiful ladies in line that's Denzel he wrapped too tight and yes he does think these Denzel Washington I'm looking for my wife J Kenneth I know somebody's seen her he's about 5 7 145 pounds alright you disloyal fool-ass bitch-made pops what is that it looking pretty fun you're police I was like I want to get got there why I will have you playing basketball in Pelican Bay when I finish with you 23-hour lockdown I run stuff here you just live here King Kong ain't got nothing on me but if you see that just let me know him tell him looking for you know what some of these girls are little too uptight they need to loosen up I have no idea what to do man lick'em yeah we need liquor and smokes we call power telling you some weak yeah oh my god do loose don't just book in her hair I'm watching liquor store since Sasha paint has been reluctant to get involved anyone seriously but I think all that's about to change [Music] you are risks quiz it won't you go right on upstairs you buy now you leave I don't know what I want yet all right just talk the strawberry coolers do it really tastes like strawberry or is it is this like strawberry I heard some before and it wasn't really that strawberry okay the UM banana the banana daiquiri mix does it really taste like bananas tastes like banana but it's the banana is cuz they don't always do I want a banana be tasting daiquiri that's what I want [ __ ] you making me sick you know what just give me some beer here's a beer berry is that the various you got the money you got the bags do I got the bags mmm smell that yeah I guess these dudes don't know about pound spring loaded ejection seat I mean I thought you were you can launch himself at you with pinpoint accuracy we have to figure out who's gonna manage the additional ad you want me to do it no no first first I'm asthmatic my breathing ain't right and has got a lot that's something else okay I can't do it I mean we believe in you jo-jo so we started interviewing all kinds of ladies came through landscaper clown quiet directors beauty queen so mrs. Benny role brings you here I believe in world peace because I believe the children are our future no oh no I said I wanted to know what why are you here I would like to promote a green world where everybody is an ecological equal but this is escort business here we'll be doing well I love jogging and swimming and I am an active member of my church and I believe in the Ethical Treatment of all animals yeah I don't think you listened it to me cuz you keep you keep promoting yourself I don't really need you to do that I'm just running what about the children I'm sorry what is that the little black green orange yellow and even white children you see some kids what about the little little children [Music] [Music] thank you thank you I will thank you I mean I love men and all but this might come as a surprise to you I do women also know hey you're the 8th grade teacher correct that's crap I see you brought one of your students he's not my students anymore he's my husband oh so you think you're sexy I have a list of ex-boyfriends that will attest how good I am there's that nothing I won't do the hell is going on which I what do do I have an eye booger or something no one of your eyes is doing like some to the left to the left you notice yeah actually I have to have one more operation on it the doctors are tightening the muscle in it after the accident accident about two years ago I was making left to my man and he was packing some serious USDA choice if you know what I mean and we have been drinking and yeah I had a car accident mahogany don't you have something you can be doing alright thank you go ahead something we were making passionate kind of rough love like I was saying it's not a girl take your time mahogany well his penis accidentally hit me in the eye was such force I mean I was blind for almost three days and and I've been cockeyed ever since there wasn't gonna do well and then his faithful to have it the most stunning woman I've ever seen was that no I had a modeling gig and this is as soon as I could get here modeling huh well that's good it's got a big site I'm I'm just talking about my name is Jojo what should my name is caramel caramel yes you look it you look like that your name how do you know I asked you look so you probably do but I don't know hey Avery do me a favor man get some of these boxes and stuff but never like a pigsty in here sweetie we don't live like this we just look like that pigsty got it sorry first impressions the last person we not this nasty he nasty but you're worse though you know what I'm gonna record to say this I can't speak for all of us but maybe you are beautiful thank you no I mean I really thank you beautiful though like I can't stop looking at you I've ever done the side work before no not really no but I mean yeah you open a lot oh absolutely are the money's really good work see you have to have a passion for the simplicity and duplicity of this profession which is usually predicated on the finalization of said unions excuse me what I'm trying to say what what he's trying to say is are you good in bed I haven't gotten many complaints I don't know you look a little shy oh no I'm not sure yeah no but you might be pregnant I mean I can't really say it be shot matter less you do are you talking about dude just get the rest of the stuff please where you don't why would you wait a minute get get one yeah get it what a diesel get it boy get in there boy whatever talk to me happy who's I hey what what I'm not just bad dude get away from you man get the boxes to please you caramel you know I'm on board I just jumped on your train yeah yeah no problem sweetie maybe you should bathroom good you don't have to ask me looking like you look you could pee in my hand I don't mean that I do go ahead it's round a corner no problem sweetie I'm Jojo she is so pretty I just said that I like her but you know what it's a whole lot more girls outside and I don't think we should put all our eggs in one basket Wow okay she coming here with two good legs and now you're upset because she doesn't have wit legs so now you're mad not you mahogany hater anybody but you mahogany got a wooden leg that is so sad fool what's wrong with you just like you just seen a baby you can't see are you choking choking juggling balls above gentleman gentleman bubbles what's that oh I know I know I know you hold in the pipe pipe no no beef tip coma carmella beef tips [Applause] juggling balls tips she got a dick what a penis huh dick penis [ __ ] oh my Hey hey cat Mel listen is there anything that we should know about you that you didn't tell us or okay do you need to tell us something about yourself that you didn't tell us earlier that we've done we should probably know because we don't want to assume stuff it do you have a dick well yes I did oh but it won't be a problem it's not that large it won't get in the way and I haven't gotten any complaints caramel turned out to be a dude but we had it anyway and she might be a dude she was fine as hell I don't care what anybody says now pretty much narrowed down to women I wanted man I was missing one thing like woosh woosh bang I'm Suzy Suzy okay how long we waited Lana's Oh about six hours I hear like a low accent where we from well I'm from Memphis Tennessee Memphis no nevers no citizen okay yeah like this oh this is nice what kind of stones it is just like unique well thank you these ain't stones he's just some my teeth that have fallen out they were seen on a street y'all might have a dental plan [Music] that's good I got this one back here it's dad I got Rick now something wrong if there's one back here next is one looks like paradise yeah I see I see it smells a little bit you close the card you close it you can close it I saw it though Wow but you know what let's how about we just get back to your experience what's going on with ya I used to work for my old man mmm before he got locked at would you say these you said he got locked up what happened we do its long story you you enjoy it you can tell us we got time that's okay for my old man he's one of the best pimps in Memphis Tennessee mmm yeah he was also talented yeah he always wanted to be a rapper he could rap good you know it's hard to walk with the lamp bunny shoes all my money I spent hustling and making loot cuz I have to wear corrective boobs oh come on come on man sing the song put some baby in the song might sing it you know it's hard to walk with the limp bond these shoes on my money is spent hopping and making lewd cuz I have to wear a car active food you know it's hard to walk with a limp I'm on the shoes all my money is been making loot cuz I have to wear a car active food you know it's hard to walk with the limp y'all know my man put a demo together that day and he went to meet the big-time rapper MC head slim cuz he knew the MC head slim could put him on man why is you crying playing a Terrence Howard look-alike my crying every movie he am like oh so uh you change Matt was at your first concert Mike right here in our hometown money I was caught up in the concert mine and the Buster got caught up in the girls yelling whoo screaming man I can't believe somebody threw a shitty pair of underwear up here at me I know this [ __ ] stain look like George what I'm saying - you've got my underwear I threw up on the stage Mike how do you expect me to remember some stuff from 12 years ago I probably threw those on the way away that night I'll tell you what mine what cut a deal with you I'll give you my demo man you take a listen see what you can do oh man this is an 8-track tape haven't you ever heard of a CD I wouldn't even born when this came out it's all I got Mike I'm gonna check it out so you lied to me huh me well would you get out of my face through my demo in the trash my dog did not tell you to get out my face though okay I thought T was one of the best rappers there was in Memphis but you know what T's record about a corrective boot it became a huge underground record in Memphis but T didn't make a dime on it someone down on bootleg did can you believe that I mean how exactly ugly but you know if we could keep from losing any more t she might be good but it was [Music] alright y'all ladies look come here whatever cash you may be put it on the table okay okay it's a trophy stop the stop is funny y'all got me jumps on Jojo supplement the cash gonna tell y'all let's get the cash on the table come on but you told us to get where we could give us a trophy what is this that's the money that you girls made no cash okay I'm good I'm filling this medallion it's not a medallion mom that's how I you D woman put that in there uterus to prevent pregnancies listen look that's all fine and that's all funny games y'all got to encounter three to put some money on this table one two two two and a half two and three quarters what that's it breast of this is my money that's your money is my money okay sidebar what's up what's there get over here Frank Zappa excuse me hey Marie go to the side I'm sorry I'm sad look we get a trophy as you need money that comes in this house yeah is your money any of it alright now go over back over shim okay I get the rest of it just just go get it okay excuse me um caramel I need to get the rest of that money woman I'm sorry Jojo but this is my money okay now look she trying to embarrass me for everybody give me the money [ __ ] hey I said give me the money [ __ ] call me out of my name again say it again thanks again okay oh you let's think it again I said oh Jesus okay watch it okay um get me half of it if you want I don't even mind okay um you know check if a check I check the do for real okay that's the one I think okay I don't need this I quit 3d help finally catch a break the unit the house rap group in the country is in town they need a few dates for the you know we baby girl you definitely in the right spot you know what I'm saying do y'all I know I know what to do right the same thing every night shiri price what am I want something different a day all right chicken teriyaki you know he's chicken what's in the broccoli a shrimp what you want my name is avery not overly you know my name is avery at 55 Trevon deuce was the oldest active gang member in Los Angeles as a Hoover Street [ __ ] Trayvon had been doing dirt for over 40 years after getting hit with a 9 Trey said goodbye to the gangster life went to school received his law degree and is now known as judge Trey dues Your Honor we was together for like six months and then stuff just started coming up missing like would you took my washer and dryer that would be a lie Your Honor I just took the dryer it doesn't matter you still took up your honor this is just some angry vengeful woman stuff she's angry because I don't water look sis let herself go way down okay now when he met you he did admit to you that he was a thief right correct well it don't take a rocket scientist to figure out sooner or later Yoshi's gonna come up miss what show black ass is down huh I have a package for mr. ping hmm since caramel quit I had to pick up another girl what's your name pretty name no it's not turns out she was popping penicillin like they're tic tacs we had to wait seven to ten days before she could start guys guys they're gonna love this one why is Stevie Wonder always smiling cuz he doesn't know he's black excuse me excuse me have you seen my dog Sparky he's a German Shepherd he's brown he got like a little black spot on the back his eyes is glistening like the amber in the summertime no we have another scene doggie party is that you [Applause] JJ listen I don't even want to discuss starlight I really don't steal starlight is not coming back she just bought a new home in Potomac yes hey can you run italic credit on their committee I told you we don't take checks no you can't take checks no give it to me go we don't take checks chlamydia that's a very pretty name no it's not extra mean got a recent ones nah [ __ ] that was a pretty man that is a very pretty name too no it's not I know if I don't start making some money soon we're gonna be out on the streets you just better be glad that you have that gun because otherwise I would whoop yo and you know you don't want to pay shoot yourself come on houston we have a problem Angela just want to check with the mouths that we won't be able to catch if you see it looking for something okay this weekend's a big weekend all-star weekend now what I'm saying mom is this okay every NBA player is in town this weekend love it's gonna be crazy tonight I need you guys to get drunk I need you to bring back some money I need time out time out ladies listen comitia you're responsible for her teeth I want to change I want to change today [Music] you so are we supposed to recognize it they just relax and just look straight in here Hey look I have some religious materials for profit I like to give it to him please she not home ah you know what if you help me I can help you I can help me I can help you listen to me listen to me man you can give him another chance man why you always trying to be hard on us brothers don't forget I'm black I struggled I lived in the hood she grew up and Gaithersburg man you ain't from the hood you're always trying to give white people a break man imma shut him down all right man at 2200 hours we're gonna get them hookers and we're gonna get him good let's go what you and your man to make an insertion from the north Rodriguez and his crew will come up from the south and they will of penetrate the middle line and for us [Music] [Applause] [Applause] as you can see there's a lot going on here Bob I'm gonna get a comment from Smosh business well to give you a precise account of exactly what occurred these versus you sir what happens oh yeah like Norris ate the whole darn book but for my vintage point I seize the police officers comes in from over the southern part of the block yes ma'am Indians are bike starts to run or I did so me as it starts to be fighting them police's over there but other than that ain't seen none Bob basically what he's saying is is from he's been teeth pulling the pull up will come from South Side and getting some means that started fighting right there but I couldn't have put it any better there you have it an eyewitness report from the biggest bus this city has seen in years don't worry snowflake let my hands go let me go y-yeah you wanna play rough okay I'll bury all your cockroaches get your ass in that Jail go I have broken no laws here however one of you all broke one of my necks somebody hold my dog I'm calling the n-double a-c-p the Urban League al Sharpton Jesse Jackson the HBCU the NCAA Barack Obama Nancy Grace Oprah Winfrey oh hey when you gonna get us out of here everybody else and bailed it out I'm gonna get you guys out of here as soon as possible mahogany we know that you're not gonna be able to do that Angela what I'm doing is okay I'm gonna go to the bank in the morning now when I get to the bank I'm gonna talk to the bank about taking out a little shut up Joe Joe just shut up I got some bad news the they came by and took the kids so what do you just name the child protection people came by and took the kids wait where did they take my kids Jojo right now your kids are your kids in foster care Jojo wait weird how are you gonna let them take my kid you know what you were being charged with they got you an own prostitution in three counts of child endangerment like that's serious now what I do know because I've talked to the officer he said that after your hearing his past then you got a better chance of getting your kids back more than likely you 3d would have never allowed them to take my kids get me the hell out of here so I can go and I can get my kids what about the children Jojo [Music] the next morning I went to my opinions and I sold Suzy's tooth necklace to my mouth and I knew I could get at least 3 grand from a car and got $500 yeah that's all I could get but thank God Avery because he was selling clean pee by the court I still didn't have enough money to get Angela to jail though hey man listen baby it's no tension just get in get off the phone man grandma I got to go okay I beg your futures or something okay I love you too oh my back section that was get it Monday morning has arrived and the courthouse is filled [Applause] all rise the Honorable Joseph a purgatory will be presiding over these proceedings this is a case of the state versus Angela a Nakamura hey y'all this does some TV take a seat okay let's see what we've got here we've got prostitution and child endangerment I did test any woman any woman who engages in sex for sale prostitution is illegal in the District of Columbia it's supposing your children to that life stop that is despicable however I am just here to judge these proceedings we have selected the jury of your peers who we think will be objective unbiased and fair bailiff can you bring in the jury okay well I see you have exercised your right not to use a public defender who is the counsel of note for mrs. Rock more your honor what are your credentials to practice law in this district I knew that you would exact that question from your large vocabulary to reduce the intimidation factor by minimal overloads to somehow manifest the relevant to the irrelevant okay I'll ask you again what makes you think you can practice law in my courtroom I worked a prepaid like week what was it I worked at prepaid legal for like three weeks [Laughter] Your Honor the defense would like to bring to the stand mr. Joe Joe Dickerson let's be honest with you judge are you talking to me maybe I'm just like my brother you understand what I'm saying I love her and unlike dick and his punk-ass friends angela is any credible hope ass [ __ ] what about the children [Music] what about the children what about the goddamn children see the only one paid for me to go to Iraq to fight when the army wouldn't take me I bought my own plane ticket went over then their fight I ain't gonna fight I heard it was a rumble over there in our room mrs. prosecutor can we have your case please thank you your honor the District of Columbia we recommend that this defendant be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law now before we take this case to trial and I recommend a guilty verdict what did the fists like to make a closing remark okay I just Trey can I have a few words with you please mommy I feel like you prejudge me and you don't know me you don't know what I've been through you don't know my struggles now my children they are well taken care of guess what they attend private school and they receive the love that most children dream of so yes judge Trey you can take my children away from me because you assume that I'm incapable of taking care of them but can I ask you a question judge Trey can you with a clear conscience sleep at night judge Trey knowing that you have broken up a happy family so please just Trey don't judge this book by its cover I'm a mom on the inside judge Trey but all you see is a home and it's the same home that you can [Applause] kinky little fantasies everything is back to normal man the neighborhood is back Angela's found innocent and the kids were returned to her but unfortunately the mouths are having a little problem primarily with the health department and SPCA mouths loss is my game I sold escort business sexy silk then I took the proceeds out and brought all the mouths businesses yep you see that dreams do come true wait wait wait that's not the end of the story Angela became United States Senator of the great state of Louisiana mahogany well she's out of the business now she's successfully sued the prosthetic company in Oregon and received a nice settlement and his nail working for angela has her press secretary Peyton is doing great but he still has Sasha problems what Sasha I'm pregnant you're not even showing and that's an anal thermometer he's kicking Oh who got you pregnant Shahji my cousin Avery has a successful hair transplant business from Avery enterprises are you losing your hair prematurely now there's the pubic Hair Club for Men I used to always wear baseball cap because my thinning hairline used to make me look older than I was but then I found out about the pubic Hair Club for Men and look at me now I mean it changed my life I mean I've never looked better I mean I feel sexy yes the pubic Hair Club for Men is a painless procedure where hair follicles are removed from your pubic and scrotum region also known as the nut sac and placed on your head the pubic Hair Club for Men has made sukwon look like a totally new person and the amazing thing is he's grown a totally new grade of hair yes baby you've got good hair now smells a little salty but it looks so good the pubic Hair Club for Men call now from Avery labs incorporated vanity now works at a cosmetic counter in a major department store applying makeup she lost her title after getting caught and uncompromising lip-locking with another woman while getting involved in a drunken bar fight the precious tiny little children not being a little rough with her that's in my job he gets the best he's still doing that hood thing he was good he's Sebastian de hood with another fine product from hood enterprises good water now most companies get their water from glaciers and mountains things but we keep it real we get the water from right here in the hood man don't we get on out of here no additives and like salt and chlorine phosphates he'll river water we go through a step-by-step process to make sure that only the finest waters goes into our bottles and into your bellies cold day and we'll send you two free quarts of water so remember black cop is now directing traffic and the white cop is still trying to get some mail how you doing baby yeah well business is booming it's going very well and I'll tell you what if you're ever in DC you you guys feel free to stop by whenever you want I got a gun oh I got some customers you look you buy huh yes bye [Music] [Music] written - wrapper say that boy ain't ball then stay low make the moves I choose when I wanna sipping on the Handy playing Fu's like the pawn shop I got these haters in a game won't stop cuz they show these on my clique and we gave running us and their dad they got I'm bent when we stayin on drugs trying to top up my star when they hang on I ain't even know you you

Channel: ACI On The Go

Views: 1,689,687

Rating: 4.6424088 out of 5

Keywords: American Cinema International, ACI, Movies, TV, Films, Kevin Hart, Kevin Hart Movie, Something Like A Business Movie, Clifton Powell, Jennifer Titus, Russ Parr, Something Like a Business full movie, Something Like a Business, full movie, Flims, Entertainment, David Alan Grier, Tasha Smith, Eric Tomosunas, Something Like a Business movie, Something Like a Business 2010, Something Like a Business 2010 official movie, Something Like a Business 2010 full movie

Id: fuOXQVcLFm4

Length: 79min 23sec (4763 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 17 2020