The consequence of living without God and being selfish is that I started a relationship with another person and I decided at that moment to leave my husband. At the age of 19 I got invited to a trip to Santiago de Compostela, it was not a pilgrimage. I was there with my parents when my mother entered a church, the St. Anthony of Padua chapel. In front of St. Anthony she told me to say a prayer while she was lighting a candle for each of her children. I didn't pray at all back then, so I didn't care, but she told me to pray to St. Anthony for a boyfriend. I did pray to St. Anthony and decided that I'd marry a guy who I will first go out with. If you grant my prayer, I'll be back to give you thanks. Three days later I was back in Barcelona and I got to know Alberto. Ten days after that Alberto was mentioning marriage and 3 years later we got married. The marriage started good, happy, stable. I had everything: job, financial security. I lived from day to day like the majority of my friends in a society, in a city like Barcelona Enjoying life above all. And because I was living without God for so long I was planning life on my own. At the beginning I didn't want to have kids. Children are yet to come, now I have to live and enjoy myself, that was my style of marriage. I have to say there, it was me who mostly directed our marriage. About children, it was not an option. Two years without children and a marriage in which I loved Alberto in a very selfish and egotistic way, focused on the need that Alberto gets all the love from me as his partner. So, years passed and after 2 years we decided that the moment to have kids finally came. The kids hadn't come and it took almost 6 years until our first daughter arrived. She was beautiful, so perfect, gorgeous, a sweetheart. Three years later we got a son too, marvellous! Now we had 2 kids and I had everything I wanted in my life. I was absolutely happy, I had no crisis or anything like that. I felt fully content for having it all and I lived on like that and did well until 8 years ago, I don't know which year exactly, 8 or 9 years ago. As a consequence of living without God and being selfish I started a relationship with another person and decided at that moment to leave my husband, to end my marriage. Alberto, my husband, struggled really hard to save our marriage and because he frankly loved me much, once he said to me: I just want you to be happy and if your happiness is life without me, I will sign the divorce papers right away. My father is a man of great faith, he really suffered a lot facing the consequences that my decision, made freely, was going to have on my life. And he entered a church in Barcelona where there was a statue of Our Lady, It was Our Lady of Medjugorje and he prayed there. Leaving the church he saw an advert for a pilgrimage to Međugorje and without saying anything he picked my mom and came here for the first time to pray for me and all his children. That was in September. In October he returned with some of his kids and in December he returned with other kids. And in December, when I had already been separated from Alberto, a day came to bring our kids so they can stay with him. I didn't decide anything, I just took the phone and suggested Alberto, respecting all his liberty and even refusal, a trip for the two of us. We went on this trip, we got back and gradually started to communicate again. And we decided to start our marriage anew. The first few months were fantastic but after some time I carried on without God in my life. And I told my husband everything, everything that had provoked my crisis. Again we travelled a lot, we were in Milan when my father called telling me to accept his invitation to Međugorje. So I quickly said 'yes', it was a family trip, nothing else. So I came here for the first time with my husband and two little kids and with some of my siblings. On that occasion my heart was closed and I had no God in my life, I simply didn't care if Our Lady was appearing or not, if people prayed here or not. So, I was here. I met a visionary, the blond one, her name is... Mirjana. I was listening to her, the only certainty was that I listened to her and at the end I looked at my brother-in-law who was a non - believer and we'd been convinced that all of this was a lie. So I looked at him and said: This is not a lie, she is not lying, all she is saying is true! I don't know why I said that, but I felt within me that all I'd heard was true. But since God wasn't near me and I lived without God I just didn't care if she really saw Our Lady or not because for me it made no difference or sense at all. On the plane to Međugorje my father gave me a book on Međugorje by Jesus Garcia and he told me to read it so I can get some information about Medjugorje and the events here. This book I didn't even open! When I arrived in Barcelona I handed that book my father had given me over to a friend of mine whose mother was seriously ill and was in a hospital. She was a woman of faith and I also gave her a rosary I'd bought here Therefore I told my friend: "This is for your mom who has more faith than me. It's a gift!" That lady was still in hospital. Nine days later she left hospital and she called me saying that she really wanted to go to Međugorje and asked what she could do about that. I told her to contact my father. She went to Međugorje with her husband and the only thing I heard from her daughter, who was my friend, was that her mom returned totally different, that it was a trip of her life, she was happy and was grateful to me for having introduced her to Međugorje. I still didn't care and 9 months later I got a call by mistake from that lady, Alicia, so I picked up the phone and wanted to apologize when she exclaimed: "Oh, Sofia, is that you?! So glad to talk to you because I'd like to invite you to Međugorje because you gave me that book. Thank you for the book and the rosary. I'm going there again to thank Our Lady so I'd be pleased if you joined me. Alicia explained to me that Međugorje had changed her life because when she came here the first time she had cancer and was dying. She didn't come here to pray for healing, she only came here to ask Our Lady to prepare her for heaven and the day she called me, prior to that call, the doctor had just confirmed her that the analysis have shown lowered tumor markers and that he couldn't understand how, but her health was stable. I couldn't say no and joined Christina on this trip and we arrived on June 25, on the 30th anniversary of apparitions. We arrived in a taxi in great haste, people kept telling me to hurry up because of the Eucharist celebration, the holy Mass was about to start outside. When I got there, I whispered to my friend: Međugorje, I don't know what I'm doing here, there is nothing here. Yet there is one thing that's going to impress and overwhelm you; it's that people confess here. People confess! They stand in lines to have a confession! And when we entered the church area, there were indeed lines and lines of people ready to confess. I thought that everyone went mad and I went past them and found a place somewhere in the back of the prayer area. There were so many people, no free place at all, so we sat far in the back. The Mass celebration had started and I turned my back toward the altar. I did not mind what was happening behind me and thus I was sitting with the radio on. On the radio, hm, I was listening to music because I had no interest in translation and then I turned to my friend: Cristina, if you are bored there is music and then, at that moment, I got up, I didn't think about anything any more, I took no decision about what was to happen, nothing. I got up being aware though of what lifted me up, I then looked at Cristina and told her that I was leaving. Off I went and I saw all these lines of people waiting for confession. Everywhere! There was only one priest available sitting next to a plate with a small Spanish flag on it and I came up to him and just sat there. And when I sat there, at that moment, the first thing I said was: I don't know what I'm doing here, I don't know where to start, I started to cry and visualize, to see my whole life without God, my whole past, all of my sins, all the suffering my God went through for my sins, the pain of Jesus on the cross and the pain of my family members especially the persons who I had hurt and who were suffering because of that. I felt such a deep pain in my entire soul and my entire body; Enormous pain! And the priest looked at me and said: You know that I am just a mediator, we priests are ministers of Jesus Christ, it's Jesus who forgives, it's God who forgives. I looked at him and said that I knew that, that I had learned about that in high school. And then, the priest, an Argentinian, placed his hands on my head like this and told me just one sentence: 'Your sins are forgiven'. While he was about to finish the phrase 'Your sins are forgiven, all the pain I was feeling was gone. It was gone. My whole body as well as my interior, I can't explain it with words, instantly became calm because I started to feel peace peace peace and love. I didn't see God, but I felt embraced, embraced by God. I was getting an embrace from God! There are no words to describe this sensation, the inner as well as physical, of complete plenitude, complete happiness. And the priest... I still couldn't come to terms with all that so I just said to the priest: This is incredible, so incredible and the priest looked at me and asked: "Is it true that your husband has forgiven you?" I confirmed and he replied: "Why wouldn't God forgive you who is your father?! You are completely forgiven and now go, go to the communion, receive Him! Go and receive Jesus who will offer you the best communion, a better one than your First Holy Communion!" And off I went. At that moment the priests were coming down the altar to give out the communion and at the moment of receiving the communion, wow, the power of the hug I received during the confession tripled! Unbelievable, this bliss, so great, if only we could all get to feel it, in heaven we will all experience it and here if only the whole world had the experience of this beautiful gift because it is terrific, terrific! And then I went back to my place and there was Cristina with her mother where I'd left her. So, I was back, looking happy and Cristina was looking at me saying: Sofía, what's happened to you? I said: Cris, how great, how powerful...And she said that my face, my face..that my eyes had changed,
they were different and so was my look and at that moment I said to
Cristina: "I confessed, you know, I confessed, I've just had a confession,
God does exist, I've just confessed!" She looked at me and said:
"And now what?" It is because we attended the same catholic high school
and she told me: "Not only was it a catholic school but
along with the Opus Dei priests your parents are supernumeraries, what are you talking about confession?" And then
I replied: "Cris, don't be wrong; although I attended a Catholic
high school and in spite of the formation I received,
it's been more than 20 years since I last confessed. And now I have confessed!
And because I did not confess for so long, this is a sign that God exists!" Feeling the great happiness
Our Lady had another precious detail for me in store,
she also organized the coincidence of meeting my parents.
I arrived here with my friend and my parents were in Međugorje too, but not in the same
pension, yet they were here and after the confession I met them in
the street and I could tell my parents right away that I had confessed. I was totally happy! I said to God: You do exist,
I want more of you in my life, I've been refusing you for 20 years and now, yes, I want you.
I want more of you every day, and not only that, I don't want to leave you ever and then I asked him:
What should I do now? I found the greatest treasure -
praying with heart and I bought myself for the first time my own prayerbook, my own rosary and my own medal I decided to follow Jesus happily and fervently, never abandoning Him.
When I honestly started to live my decision, glad to be able to introduce
Jesus into my life, then Alberto was looking at me strangely and
didn't say a word. As a good wife and a psychologist, however, I knew or
supposed he was wandering for how long I will act like this. And I lived on prayer day by day.
Once I was praying the rosary in my room with Our Lady,
I brought a photo of a picture of Our Lady from Međugorje and Alberto entered
the room and asked what I was doing. I said: "I'm praying the rosary, do you want to pray with me?" He looked at me and said: "I don't wanna hurt
you but why don't you stick with your stuff because I have my time." I looked at Our Lady and said:
Mother, I'm giving all of this over to you, I'm not going to tell him anything,
I don't want to and I won't be urging him to pray or go to Mass..
Yet, I will make the effort to be quiet and still. I just pray
for him to become as happy as me. And since that day on
I prayed the rosary also for him to become happy like me, happy like me.
After some time Alberto started to be late for the meal at home and
usually he is very punctual. And I did my best to be there for him, I didn't eat before and take a nap then.
So, I was doing my best in all of this, but one day I couldn't stand it any more
so I called him to check if he was about to be late and he said: "I'm coming, heading
home right from the office" and I said: "Why are you late?" - "It's because I'm walking,
and he never goes on foot, he's always on a motorcycle and we are always in a hurry
everywhere." Why is he walking? And then he told me: "It's because I'm praying the rosary."
It took some time walking home and praying the rosary. For me it was
an incredible gift, he was also praying and after a
few months I asked Alberto if he could drive the kids to school. He said he
had to go to office. So I told him: You start at 8.30 and now it's 7.45!
Finally he said: "It's because I'm going to Mass at 8!"
I couldn't believe it, he was going to Mass at 8, he attended Mass every day! He started to pray
the rosary every day and now the Mass! Ultimately, we started to pray together,
go to the Holy Mass together, we started to do everything together...
Sure, God was alive in our home but now He was creating a foundation of our marriage.
It was very clear to both of us that God is going to be on the first place in our
lives and God gave us two more kids: Eugenia and Camilo. Now we have 4 children and we pray the rosary with our children, as a family. If only we could do it every day,
well, I keep praying. And we never stopped returning to Međugorje,
I don't know how many times we've been here. Whenever Our Lady calls us, we always say:
Yes!
