-I've just been told
that George W. Bush is going to make a statement rom
the governor's mansion in Texas. NBC takes you live to Austin
for this important address. [ Laughter ] -Me? Oh. [ Laughter ] ♪♪ -My fellow Americans, I have called upon
the networks tonight to make two pressing issues
clear to the American public. [ Sneezes ] [ Laughter ] Number one, the possible default
of New York City, and number one, my stand on
the Ronald Reagan announcement. [ Phone ringing ] Yello? [ Phone ringing ] Hello? Hello? Nessen? I can't hear you.
What are you, in the pool? Oh, I guess the other
phone's ringing. I don't know.
Alright. -Peter, what did
the acid look like? -Um...they were these
little orange pills. -Were they barrel-shaped?
-Uh, yeah. -Okay. Right. You did some
Orange Sunshine, Peter. [ Laughter ] -Very good of you to know that,
Mr. President. -How long ago
did you take it, Peter. -Uh, I don't know.
I can't read my watch. -Alright, Peter,
now just listen. Everything's gonna be fine.
You're very high right now. You'll probably be that way
for about five more hours. Try taking some
Vitamin B complex, or Vitamin C complex. If you have a beer,
go ahead and drink it. -Okay.
-Just remember you're a living organism
on this planet, and you're very safe. You've just taken a heavy drug.
-Alright. -Relax, stay inside,
and listen to some music. Okay?
-Yeah. -Do you have any
Almond Brothers? [ Laughter ] -Well, hello, little girl.
What's your name? -Lisa Meyers. -Well, Lisa, if you're
that good a saleslady, maybe I could use you
up on Capital Hill. Well, it was nice
meeting you. -Come on, Lisa.
Come on. -Bye-bye.
-Bye.
-Come on. Back to work! [ Laughter ] [ Applause ] -Tomorrow is Earth Day. Environment --
a difficult problem. Got to be prudent. [ Laughter ] I'd... I'd love to just take care of
the greenhouse effect in one fell swoop
up here. Not gonna sacrifice jobs
down here. Not gonna. -I misled the country, and for
that I am very, very sorry. I've also misled my friends,
and my family. And for that,
I am very, very, very sorry. But most importantly of all,
I misled 34 brilliant and moderate Republicans
in the House of Representatives. [ Laughter ] I would like to say to you,
I am very... very... very, very, very... very, very, very,
very, very, very... very sorry.
Hot damn! I'm sorry. [ Laughter ] -Now, I've been carrying
this acceptance speech in my pocket for weeks,
and it's high time I read it. It's somewhere. Let me get it out, here. There's a
Bakooza Joe cartoon. [ Laughter ] Man, Bakooza Joe,
you don't have to throw a clock to see if time flies. [ Laughter ] Alright. [ Laughter ] Here it is. [ Clears throat ] "Daddy, help me. I never thought
I'd win this thing, and I want out."
Wait. No. [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] That's just
something else. -But first, I'd like to address
some of the controversies I encountered at the memorial
service for Nelson Mandela. I felt like
Lemony Snicket, because I experienced
a series of unfortunate events. [ Laughter ] I mean, first, I got roped
into taking a selfie with the blond,
female Danish prime minister. Some people said Michelle
was angry at me for that. But I talked to her afterwards,
and I can assure you -- she was furious. -That's very cool, Donald.
I think I just -- I have to go. -Also, I want to be serious
for just a moment. Last week, it was
Holocaust Remembrance Day. And as you know,
6 million people... were at my inauguration. I mean, there were just so many
people at my inauguration, but the media refuses
to cover it. It's so unfair. And one day, I'm going to write
a memoir about this struggle, and call it
"My Struggle." [ Laughter ] What would that be
in German, Angela? -It's act--
It's "On-gu-la." -What?
-My name is "On-gu-la." -No, no, don't correct me.
I'm in charge now. Germany sucks. Your wall failed.
Prepare to go to war. [ Laughter ] ♪♪
Not included, but Hartman as Clinton was pretty great. He wasn't the best impersonator of Clinton but gave a hell of a comedic performance and made it look so smooth and easy. Here's his most popular sketch as Clinton, at McDonald's.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=eYt0khR_ej0
My favorite Hartman-as-Reagan sketch was him and Gorbachev riding through Washington, D.C. in the Presidential limo.