sinbad on marriage

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marriages work marriage is a career it's not adventure you do more before 5:00 than most folks do all day it's like the military my wife and I we're together about six seven years with Mary we divorced about ten eleven years now we're back together marry eight years because we're both so damaged we can't be with nobody else we had to come back home once you've been married to each other your training I'm trained I got time to train her bio she got time to Train nobody else everybody's jacked up go back to on your hair I thought she was crazy and by crazy I know you're crazy I can do what you're crazy you know you may not hit 55 years old trying date some girl 20 like she like you I got your mind she wants your house I don't see no 20 old girls with a brokedown 55 man with no money you don't see no girl 20 oh he's lucky that that homeless dude but he's cute hey hey we want you to die if you keep messing with her you will you want a woman that understand the signs of stroke that's what I'm looking for a woman that got my medication in her purse over your mouth over your mouth I thought you took it I thought you want a woman that's your nurse see if you go to dinner with a woman that's 55 years old and you your little lip curl up she'd know what to do hey hey hey hey tomorrow Jamal look at me tomorrow look at me she'll get you to a hospital and save your life for the girl 20 quit making faces at me it's not funny anymore now you all stroked out for the rest of your life there's a little cute girlfriend didn't know the signs of stroke she come vision hospital ain't no I don't understand you what can I have your house now since you can't live there no more marriage is about growing old together marriage is about falling apart at the same time that's what makes it special you live long enough the true you become one good person you become one one can see one can hear one can walk one can use their hand you need each other you have to go to movies together one listens one watches [Applause] you become a team [Applause] one got a good right here one a good left hip are your balance they're so cute together no they'd fall down they need one another [Applause] who can say watch once you've been with somebody so long you just understand stuff you have the same vision you shared glasses you got glasses I love the house wait girl let me go I think that behind the stove [Applause] I always had 20/20 vision on my life I can't see now and know how I found out I'm in a movie theater and I'm the only one like this focus it and usually other people join in with you they're like you might wanna move down toward the front Sinbad so now I got the progressive glasses so I can see far at the top and I see closer at the bottom but they told me you can drive with it no you can't you gotta learn the sweet spot you're gonna find the sweet spot many times I stopped at a stop sign and way out there so well what a winner my bad my bad is right here mother I'm sorry [Applause] so I want to help you ladies with questions you have anything you might have some about a man that throws you off some bunch of man that drive you crazy I'll fix it in 13 seconds you don't need no long conflicts any woman some other man make your man anything something shout it out shout it be romantic what does that mean you got to be specific with a man I don't know what you talk about be romantic what fix the screen door what what do you want me to do I want romance in one room do Lynch what hold your hand wet then say it look at your man hold my hand I got it I got it now you finally got what you're looking for don't want romance I want could you read those books how to make love last forever how do you have romance forever too much work just say what you want you got a man always forget your birthday forget that buy yourself a car look what you got me he'll remember next year I'll never forget your birthday again that one cost me a lot of money I'll come help what confusion the most about women I'll fix it what confuses you most about women and I'm gonna fix it for you I hope you understand it there they act like nothing you're not married are you cuz you're talking she hears you why are you talking you ain't learned nothing you haven't learned nothing in your life that's why you stay in trouble yo you know she did she did this so you don't know what that means you're single man that means this man is in trouble he didn't understand she did that they'll be in the car why you always gotta say some you asked me something that's a man that sleeping downstairs tonight look at all these man look these merry men sit they're trying to assume the position of getting in no trouble that's your job is a man to get in trouble that's your job your problem is you trying not to be in trouble except the trouble and be sarcastic would it piss them off that's half the fun of being married you did that on purpose oh yes I did that's foreplay they need to have training for husbands men training for husbands how to be a husband how to talk how to survive a date you're gonna practice you look at the mirror what oh no you gotta learn to make those faces act like you're trying to speak but don't let them come out don't say nothing but act like you're trying to be involved men are so confused I got a son that's 20 years old my daughter's 23 my daughter says she's trying to find a good man I said learn to be by yourself for a second don't be crying beep look she waved you got a man why'd you wager hearing she think this you what a man she said that's right look what you just did that's why I'd be by yourself as you hold his hand what was that about that's right be by yourself I'm talking with you now if he had done that that's right oh really you've been the parking lot what will I say whoa slow down they loaded me he got you front row seat at least is good for show see young how do you hold you right now hold are you 34 you say you're still young man you know see my mom my mom's generation they know how they then how to work with my mom work my dad my mom my dad put patio in build a guest room they know how to work her brother back in the day my dad was like a slave you need to put that roof up she look at it my man my man can't do everything all shadows Gibson kool-aid working working it work because my mom got styled young ladies y'all gotta get styled back y'all angry you're angry you're angry you're just just mad smile sometime you might have a good man you just don't know it you just stay so angry what ladies what are y'all mad about let me help what are y'all mad about what cuz we're no good every man no good every man see that's one woman every man you get it everybody what did you miss somebody maybe that's the problem you take too many people pick one see what happens okay I'm gonna go with that what makes a man no good I'm a help I'm gonna help ladies out he lies that's how you make relationships their life if a man does not lie the relationship is done cuz you ask questions that make no sense so I have to lie if you don't want me to lie quit asking me questions you keep asking me questions that you know I have to lie do I look fat no no if you wouldn't fat you in the ass that's why you asked the question skinny people don't say do I look fat skinny people say do you want to eat would you like I have a sandwich she just won't see how dumb you are will you tell the truth and then all you young men don't you fall for this one even if it hurts me even if it hurts me tell me the truth this is how stupid how stupid is the man I'm with you lie lie lie now I'm not too much lying about cheating Lamba other one hunch about little things that you have to lie about all those little things I asked all kind of stupid stuff stupid things gee do I do like this movies no I hate the notebook I hate it I hate it it's not even real it's not real women love those kind of movies where she had she had Alzheimer's and she didn't know him anymore he wrote a book remember and I let you we riding a bike in real life Peter came to the hospital you know me no it sounds wrong but it's the truth see these these books and all the members all these these books and these talk shows that women who don't have a man all these books and talk shows with women who don't have a man telling you how to lose the man you got because they want you be just as lonely as they are men are so simple we figure out we're so simple you can't get to it men are simple we're so simple it bothers you you don't understand the suppleness of men okay this is how simple of man this is two men in the car and you make a wrong turn you man haha that's it you don't turn left and come back that's how simple that side this is you what your wife [Applause] why would you turn there why let's just go home I don't want to go now I only want to go the whole night is ruined because I turn them I can turn back around no I I have a headache now men sometimes hurt this is men this is what we do this picture this is a man acknowledging you okay that means I heard you but that's not enough for a woman okay now stay back stay back seven I said oh now it's an SAT test I have to pass the test this is two men have a conversation may you don't go to club yeah gun what time what time will you be there what no what way you're gonna go well how would you get there if you're low is that why would you say gonna go you know we're going you didn't know where you're going you said yes you didn't know you're going I got a GPS don't overcomplicate the situation make it simple what else ladies minnow what minnow how to find anything like what I found everything I need I can't find your stuff I found everything that belonged to me except for the one that you move to a better spot that makes more sense when you move my shoes to a better spot cuz that's the spot you like what else ladies huh snoring did he snore when he met you did he snore he met you he didn't will you suck the life out of him he has no air we had a lot of air when you met him he's the sleep at night now he's he's just trying to survive the night he's snoring he's dying a little bit each night a little bit y'all call it sleep apnea we call it marriage that's not a man here this single would sleep apnea no you get sleep apnea from men say young dudes you know women hit you in your sleep a wife will tag you sure have a flashback of something look at you you wake up whoops yeah it's your life something bit me too did you get bit something bit me too [Applause] fix the spire spider and I want ladies to know something we do go through things which we do go through things but you don't understand it we go through menopause your menopause or menopause your menopause is aye menopause you don't know it but it is because your system is so wacky now your temperature system is so wacky by my bed I got a parka and some gym trunks because I don't know what temperature is gonna be when I come home and you have to go with whatever she feels aren't you freezing aren't you freezing snow is coming in the window oh yeah I'm freezing time to put on my gym trunks and get it changed as far as though I'm printing up I'm hot I'm burning up up time to put on a suit and then you sweat I don't know where in that like sweat like this is I thought she peed on me so hey [Applause] and the first time a woman have a heart hot flash it looks like a heart attack you okay Wow burn it up for a second [Applause] that's why I'm saying they don't need drugs they need to bottle menopause so you can shoot that something else ladies there's a question anything was a man yes he's what he's messy okay that's the woman's when we mean messy my shirts on the floor did the house fall down did the children die did the day go on does he work does he have a job leave the shirt on the ground ain't your shirt why are you stalking him around the house following him that's his clothes those are not your clothes look at this don't bother me look at that look at that don't bother me you can't take it you can't take that learn to do this [Music] [Applause] see how free I am this is you oh yeah oh yeah I'm sticking time although we pick it up everything put quit picking it up you win yourself out I left that show in the fuckers i'ma wear it again tomorrow is right where I want it as I go to the door there's a method to the madness well slouchy ladies what else what else bothers you about us cuz this is your night the toilet seat cuz you couldn't put it down by your fill you didn't see it was up you found the bathroom how you missed the toilet seat up did you take your eye off the prize is that what you did did you did you get to the door and walk in like this or I'm almost there now I guess this down I guess it's down I won't look cuz if he loves me I shouldn't have to look I shouldn't have to look it's yo but you fell in you should look he left the seat up because he loves you women don't understand that if they see this up it means I didn't pee on it that's the best gift I can give you if their seat is up it means it's safe for you to sit down if you'll ever walk in the bathroom and the seat is down don't you trust it you might stick [Applause] yes huh night humping night humping it's called sleeping so he humps you at night if you're given some sex he quit humping you just give him some sex a little bit here you want a lot that fact if you get naked heat my freaky and handsome so long were you doing we're hey I'm just humping why are you getting naked see know what you do to make a man stop doing stuff do what he's asking for men see that's how men are you want to freak him out next time we when you get the bed just get in bed naked come on boy come on hey hey wait a minute wait a minute you'll scare him you forgot how to use your technique men act like they want stuff it's what you do it I was ready for that it's skip yeah he'll be in the living room I hope you sleep I'm still here oh hey ain't it funny how the whole sex thing changes once you get married for the first three or four years you have sex then you got to work you gotta earn it you're gonna earn it you gotta earn it it's a trade it's a trade they'll come in naked I'll give you some of you fix something [Applause] a fixer light you got a trade out you start taking rain check you don't have your date it's all sexy you think we do anything she doing we get married you want to do some was Tuesday I wish it said some earlier I didn't we usually do stuff on Thursday I didn't know we're gone did I need to set some DVRs I can't we got to tape our show can't miss our shows get off schedule we can't get off schedule and then once you have a baby all the sex stopped women freak out somehow women wants to have babies like I don't want the baby to know it was freaky huh the baby will see the babies a month old man can have sex with a baby looking right at him ah who's your daddy I'm everybody's dad I'm your daddy I'm hood day [Applause] women freaked out on their stuff some of y'all got kids at your house when I messed up your love life they messed up your love life Shh the kids have come in shh-shh Gillingham's like static sex okay you're moving no that's we're not moving I asked my was breathing yes your house those kids don't pay for nothing take your house back don't have quiet sex keep the door open be loud they only come in once and they'll never come back now you got your house back that's what you do now what help who got grown folks at the house I'm happy we got grown kids think about the house got grown kids grown kids can get my house I'm gonna help you or not they gonna be damaged just go and Jack them up but they will leave your house tonight you and your husband walk around naked have sex grown kids can't take their parents having sex it freaks them out well the eatin breakfast coming - naked into the kitchen how long you gonna be here we're gonna use that table oh yeah damn that's nasty daddy smack your wife for the but your mama's a freak they will run out of your house oh we are we are what we are we can't help it and then we get into relationships and things change you get relationships that's why I tell people before you have kids travel see the world when you first get together go places because once you have children you can go to Chuck E Cheese that's all you going that show Europe that's your friends that show that's your beauty there's people here who are over 50 with no kids they don't look old look at people with no kids no wrinkles they just sit there oh my god we're going we're going to make it next week happy what kids you don't know the joy you know trying to make you have kids shut up [Applause]

Info

Channel: more power

Views: 2,262,900

Rating: 4.8541846 out of 5

Keywords: sinbad

Id: 91_tYoC-SYI

Channel Id: undefined

Length: 23min 55sec (1435 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 18 2017

Reddit Comments

That was a good morning listen while I get ready for work.

Thanks.

Also I hate the Notebook, that my wife's favorite movie.

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/[deleted] 📅︎︎ Sep 26 2018 🗫︎ replies

Where You Been , one of my favorites by him!

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/blokkanokka 📅︎︎ Sep 29 2018 🗫︎ replies