Simon Sinek THINGS I WISH I KNEW WHEN I WAS YOUNGER

so a question that sort of comes up a lot is what advice would you give your younger self and if I would give that advice I would I would like to tell myself that you don't have to know all the answers and you don't have to pretend that you do because I spent many years thinking that I had to have all the answers and if I didn't I pretended that I did and it wasn't until that valuable lesson that I learned later in life did it change the course of my life and so I thought what I would do today is just share a few stories a few things that I've learned along the way some of them big ideas some of them small that have helped mold my perspective on the world and hopefully it'll give you something to take away as you go on to your next challenge the first one is all about perspective and going after the things that you want in Central Park the New York Road Runners Association hosts races on the weekends and one weekend I ran a race with one of my friends and at the end of the race which they sometimes did they had a sponsor who would give away something apples or bagels or whatever it was and on this particular day they were giving away free bagels so we'd finish the race and you sort of can imagine the scene it was cafeteria tables lined up next to each other with boxes of bagels across the cafeteria tables a line of volunteers on one side of the table and a much longer line of runners hoping to get a free bagel so I said to my friend let's get a bagel and he looked at me and he said nah man the lines too long and I looked at him and I said it's a free bagel and he said I don't want to stand in line and I looked at him again I said free bagel and that's what I realized there's two ways you can see the world you can see the thing that you want or you can see the thing that's standing in the way of the thing that you want I could only see the bagels and he could only see the line and people who can see the bagel people who can see the thing that they want the things that are getting in the way are actually diminished in size they're just obstacles to go over or around it's an opportunity for invention or innovation whereas people who can only see the obstacle and literally lose sight of why they set out on the journey in the first place they become stunted by fear or overwhelmed by the challenge ahead of them so advice that I learned piece number one see the bagel [Applause] so a few years ago I was watching on TV the London Olympics and I realize I sort of noticed all of the journalists would ask all of the athletes the same question were you nervous or are you nervous and astonishingly all the athletes gave the exact same answer no I was excited in other words if you think about what the characteristics of nervousness is right what are the characters is whether of nervousness are I should probably get my grammar right scholars like yourselves I know you thought it subject firm agreement Simon I got it so if you think about what the characteristics of nervousness are right your heart starts pounding your hands may get a little clammy you start thinking ahead about what will happen well what are the correct characteristics of excitement your heart starts pounding your hands may get a little clammy you start looking forward to what may happen in other words it's the exact same thing and what these elite athletes had done either naturally or they trained themselves to do was to interpret nerves as excitement so of course I tested it I was on a plane and it got really bumpy and I gripped the seat and I got nervous and I said out loud to myself this is exciting and I felt fine so you're gonna face some of the biggest challenges of your life as you go forward you think this was the hard stuff this was the easy stuff so before you see anything as you're going for your bagel and you start to get nervous just remind yourself this is exciting perspective matters the United States Navy SEALs are considered one of the most elite forces in the world one of the highest performing groups of people on the planet to become a Navy SEAL they have to go through something called bud's which is a multi-month selection process which destroys their bodies and the vast majority of people will drop out and never become seals because it is so aggressive a former SEAL was asked what kind of person makes it through buds and the seal responded I can't tell you the kind of people that make it through but I can tell you that kind of people that don't make it through he said the preening leaders who like to delegate everything none of those guys make it through he said the star college athletes who've never really been tested to the core of their being none of those guys make it through he said the guys that show up with bulging muscles covered in tattoos who want to show everybody how tough they are none of those guys make it through he said some of the guys who become seals are skinny and scrawny he said some of the guys who become seals you will actually see them shivering out of fear he said but there's one thing they all have in common he said when they're emotionally exhausted when they're physically exhausted when they have absolutely nothing left to give every single one of them is able to dig down deep inside of themselves to find the energy to help the guy next to them those guys that becomes seals in other words the highest performing teams on the planet they're not the strongest they're not the smartest they're not the fastest the highest performing teams on the planet are the ones who give to each other selflessly they commit themselves to taking care of each other and this is what makes a great team never forget you are here because someone took care of you and you have a responsibility to take care of others this is what makes you great this is the core of leadership [Applause] we're often told that we all have to be better listeners you should listen more we're often told but the problem is as human beings we communicate and communication involves both listening and speaking so simply telling people to be a better listener it's actually not very helpful advice Nelson Mandela is regarded as one of the world's great leaders and the reason Nelson Mandela is a very important case study is because he's universally regarded as a great leader no matter what country you go to in the world people will acknowledge his leadership ability other leaders depending on the nations you go to it changes but Nelson Mandela is universally regarded as a great leader which is why he's an important case and a journalist once asked him how did you become a great leader now Mandela actually grew up the son of a tribal chief and he said to this journalist I remember when I was a boy I would attend tribal meetings with my father and I always remember two things one they always sat in a circle and my father was always the last to speak and this is what it means to be a great listener it doesn't mean you don't have the opportunity to speak it means you allow others to speak before you it is one of the greatest skills you will ever learn to allow others to feel heard it's the great leaders who do not start the conversation they end it for one you get all the benefit of all of the smart people in the room but most importantly most importantly the people who are there to work with you will feel heard and even if we know the answer simply walking into a meeting walking into a classroom to impress everybody that you have the answer makes others feel bad and they won't want to help you in the future practice being the last to speak when you're on a team it's a remarkable remarkable skill so I'll tell you another story it's a personal story it's not one that I share very often and it profoundly changed the course of my life in August of 2011 I had the opportunity to visit Afghanistan with the United States Air Force I had done some work with the mobility forces these the people that fly the tankers and the cargo planes and Air Force One all the big planes and the general said to me Simon you've gotten to know us quite well it would mean a lot to me if you would go to either Iraq or Afghanistan to see our men and women perform their mission would you be willing to go so I said yes they picked Afghanistan now I didn't tell my parents where I was going because I didn't want them to worry I told them I was going away with the Air Force true I told them I was going to be out of touch for a while because I was gonna be on a lot of planes true I told them I was going to Germany true I just didn't tell them from Germany I was going to Afghanistan and I had no responsibility I was simply going as an observer I had two officers who were assigned to be my escorts and we met basically for the first time at Penn Station in Philadelphia where we drove to Dover Air Force Base where we would leave for Germany I took a big c5 cargo plane in Germany we changed planes and we got on a kc-135 tanker built in 1956 I was on a plane built in 1956 where we flew to Bagram we landed in the middle of the night we touched down and the big door on the side of the plane had opened but we hadn't gotten off the plane yet we'd been on the we'd been on the ground for maybe ten minutes and the base came under rocket attack three rockets hit a hundred yards off our nose this is how my trip began now if you've ever been in a war zone for those of you in the room who have ever been in a war zone you have you know this you have all the feelings you're supposed to have you just don't have them at the right times weirdly I was incredibly relaxed and maybe that's because the people I was with were in cred relaxed and I felt safe we revenge the panic came later we're eventually given the all-clear and we went to our housing now the purpose of being in Afghanistan we were gonna be in the country for up to 30 hours and the goal was to witness an airdrop mission they're not regularly scheduled so we had to find out if there was one as soon as we got there and it turns out there was one first thing in the morning so we got about two and a half hours three hours of sleep and we went and gone on this airdrop mission which was incredible we sat in the back of a c-17 we flew about an hour and a half two hours out to the middle of nowhere Afghanistan the plane dropped down to about two thousand feet the back door opened and we sat there and watched as cargo flew at the back so we could resupply an army Forward Operating Base it was an amazing amazing experience we then flew back to Bagram and the goal was to come back home there's no regularly scheduled flight so we have to sort of find out what flights we can get on it's always up to the discretion of the pilots we found a flight that was leaving shortly after we got back and so we asked the pilots and they said absolutely we can join their flight and we waited and waited and waited and waited in a weighted and waited and eventually we got on the plane we were all strapped in literally five minutes from leaving and the pilot walked up to us and said I'm sorry we need to bump you guys we need to make more room for stretchers it was carrying wounded warriors out of out of theatres and they needed our space if there's ever a good reason to get bumped off a plane this was it so we got off the plane and we went to look for another flight and that's when we found out there were no other flights until Tuesday and this was only Saturday I was gonna get stuck in Afghanistan for at least four days maybe longer because we don't know what we're gonna get on on Tuesday and I have no way of telling my parents they're not gonna hear from me on the date that I told them that I would get home immediately every fiber of my being sank and I remember becoming completely panicked and completely preoccupied with one thing my happiness my safety and my comfort and I didn't care who had to go out of their way to get me what I wanted I remember there was a public affairs officer who said I can to Kyrgyzstan but you don't have the right visa and I looked at him and I said you get me on that plane I don't talk to people like that and I could see myself becoming this person that I hated some of us in the room have worked for somebody in our careers who wants the next promotion and they don't care that they have to tie our turn our lives upside down so they can get what they want I was becoming that person we went back to our housing and I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes my mind was racing I was convinced that there'd be another rocket attack on the base I was convinced that I was gonna get hit I was convinced that my parents were gonna find out that I was in Afghanistan when an armed an Air Force officer knocks on the door I was convinced paranoia fear everything that you can imagine swept over me one of the officers that I was traveling with said I'm gonna see if I can get us on another flight and he left the room the other officer thinking I was asleep just because my eyes were closed said well I'm gonna go to the gym then and he walked out and turned off the lights for me I couldn't sleep my mind was racing all I wanted to do was get out of there I regretted saying yes I regretted being there I didn't want to be there I'm in the purpose business I write and talk about this sense of Y and sense of purpose in our lives so I started to remind myself Simon you need a purpose you don't have a purpose you need a purpose I started inventing one you're here to tell their story it worked for like a few minutes and then it would slide back into my fear and panic again and I realized what was happening to me is I was living the equivalent of an unfulfilled life compressed into 24 hours I had an amazing day I got to see something that most people will never get to see in their entire lives except I didn't want to wake up and do it again the next day and I think many of us do the same thing we can we confuse moments of happiness with joy and fulfillment we confuse winning a piece of business getting a promotion getting an award getting recognition doing well on a test with actual deep fulfillment those experiences are wonderful happiness is fleeting there's not a single person in this room absolutely zero who's walking around with an amazing sense of accomplishment for that test that you aced a year ago that feeling is gone fulfilment is something entirely different it's something you carry with you on a daily basis whether you're enjoying the day or not it's like loving your family you may not like your family every day but you love your family every day one is fleeting the other is lasting and this is what was happening to me I'd realized that I had this amazing day and I was confusing happiness and fulfillment and so I gave up I lay in that bed paranoid scared and depressed and I literally gave up I decided that if I was gonna get stuck here I might as well make myself useful and so I decided I was gonna volunteer I would speak anywhere they wanted me to speak I would carry boxes and sweep floors all I wanted to do was serve some of those amazing people that I'd met on this trip I wanted to serve those who served others and instantly this incredible calm came over me I was even excited this is what fulfillment means it's not the fleeting Joy's that we may experience it's not the accomplishments that we achieve it's the opportunity to serve those who serve others and upon making this realization I had nothing but joy and calm and excitement and peace it was like a movie the timing was uncanny upon making this amazing realization the door flung open and it was major Throckmorton he said I got us on a flight that's been a flight that's being redirected but we have to go now we have to go now if we don't leave now they're gonna leave without us where's Matt I said he's at the gym so he ran to the gym we got him off the treadmill we ran back no time to shower he put his uniform back on we grabbed all our stuff and we ran out to the flight line when we got out to the flight line we could see the plane we were gonna go we were gonna take home see big c-17 it was sitting right out there on the tarmac and as soon as we got there a security cordon came down they wouldn't let to the plane because somewhere else on base they were having a fallen soldier ceremony and out of respect when they have the fallen soldiers ceremony everything stops oh and so say we sat on the curb and waited and I told the guys what I had gone through in the bed just moments ago and I cried like a baby and this is one of the things a lot of people don't realize about the military crying is just fine those guys kept me safe not just physically they made me feel safe and I felt totally comfortable telling them what I was going through and how I felt eventually the security cordon came up and they led us out to the plane we would be the only three passengers aboard this plane other than the crew what I didn't tell you is the reason the flight was redirected he's because we would be carrying home the fallen soldier for whom they just had the ceremony the army brought the flag draped casket a bun on board all the Air Force crew stood in a line at perfect attention I'm a civilian I put my hand on my heart I felt kind of stupid so I stood at attention with the Air Force crew as the army laid the casket in the middle of the aircraft they all did a very slow eight count salute they marched off the plane and we watched them hugging and crying as they walked away the crew got to work strapping this precious cargo down we then had a nine and a half hour overnight flight back to Germany where I slept right next to this casket on every other plane I went on we talked we joked barely a word was spoken in nearly 10 hours on every other flight I visited the cockpit and hung out with the crew I didn't visit the cockpit once and I will tell you was one of the greatest honors of my life having just gone through this incredibly strange experience on the ground I had the honor of bringing home somebody who understands service much deeper than I will ever understand it serve those who serve others and you will live a life of joy and fulfillment tell you one more story [Applause] there was an undersecretary who was invited to give a speech at a large conference about a thousand people and he was up there on the stage giving his prepared remarks with his PowerPoint presentation behind him sipping his coffee from a Styrofoam cup and upon one of the slides he looks down and he smiles and he interrupts himself he says you know last year I was still the undersecretary and I spoke that this exact conference except last year as the undersecretary they flew me here business class and when I got to the airport there was somebody waiting for me and they drove me to the hotel they had already checked me in and they took me up to my room and the next morning when I came back downstairs there was somebody waiting in the lobby for me and they took me to this same venue where they took me through the back entrance took me into the green room and gave me a cup of coffee in a beautiful ceramic cup he said I'm no longer the undersecretary I flew here coach I took a taxi from the airport to the hotel and I checked myself in and this morning I took another taxi to the venue I walked in the front door found my way backstage and when I asked somebody backstage do you have any coffee he pointed to the coffee machine in the corner and I poured myself a cup of coffee into this here Styrofoam cup he said the lesson is the ceramic cup was never meant for me it was meant for the position I held I deserve a Styrofoam cup you've achieved great things graduating and you're gonna go on to achieve great things and they will give you accolades and they will give you awards and they will give you ceramic cups never lose sight of the fact that you all we all always deserve a Styrofoam cup good luck to you all [Applause] you you

Channel: Lindsay Kaye Menguita

Views: 900,332

Rating: 4.8381987 out of 5

Keywords: Simon sinek, inspiration, inspirational, motivation, motivational, my younger self

Id: p9gzGmyDJvc

Length: 23min 20sec (1400 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 22 2018